Scribblefest story recs: A couple of nice things in the featured box (Kaleidoscope, The Inadequacy) · 2:52am Mar 8th, 2016
Not an emergency announcement, since these are both already featured. Both were written for Scribblefest, Everfree Northwest's competition, which I didn't enter for some reason despite having about a dozen 90% finished but unpublished stories.
Kaleidoscope, by Winston. A show-like story about Rainbow Dash being a butt and also helping out Rarity. The characters are all on pitch. Reading this makes me afraid to look at my own dialogue. Even the third-person narration is usually recognizably Rainbowish, though not so much as to sound like first person narration; that's a neat trick if you can do it. The story is sweet without being obvious. It veers off towards shipping but doesn't go there. I'm not sure if my shipping goggles deceive me; chocolates and roses set certain expectations in the context of a fanfic. Other than that, this is a fine story, very well-written, which I expect to see near the top of "Top - All Time". (That doesn't quite mean it's one of the best stories on the site; it means it's the kind of story that ends up on Top - All Time. In fact, that one possible flaw will probably help it get there.)
(I think Kaleidoscope by TheVulpineHero1 is still one of the best stories on the site.)
The Inadequacy by Regidar. A little too much talking, maybe, but Shining has a lot to say. Shining's problem makes so much sense I'm surprised I haven't seen it before. (Except that I don't actually read stories much anymore, so maybe it's been done a dozen times?) Worth reading even though he spells Cadence "Cadance".
(Though Skywriter has been spelling it that way too lately. I guess I have to either accept his authority over his OC, or consider her canon.)
Give in to the Pink side of the Horse.
Hey, I'll have you know I have a completely valid in-universe justification for spelling it that way!
Everything I've seen for Cadance's name points toward using the a rather than the e. I've always remembered it as 'A for Alicorn.'
At the risk of ruining the joke, I have to ask if you are genuinely unware that her name really is spelled Cadance (because that is actually not uncommon) or is this, like, when you get people saying things like "Man, it's too bad they cancelled the Simpsons after only ten seasons, right?" or "It's a shame Lucas never made those Star Wars prequels he always talked about."
I might just not be up on my Bad Horseology.
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You know, I respect your commitment for taking the time to actually write that out and publish it as a story, because if it had been me? I'd simply have done a find/replace on all my past works and moved on.
As I read your bit on "Kaleidoscope," I thought, "Wait, that's not how I remember that story going at all!" It was starting to feel a lot like the plot of "Kaleidoscope," in fact. Memory loss, confusion....
...I admit to not realizing that you could have multiple stories with the same name on this site. I guess I sort of assumed it worked like usernames. ~ Sable
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The credits to s04e11"Three's A Crowd" have it as "Cadance"; the credits to s03e01 "The Crystal Empire, Part 1" have it as "Cadence".
I've gradually gone from pro-A to pro-E, but I am still accepting of both. What I can't stand (in a similar vein) is "Fleur Dis Lee", which looks for all the world like you're supposed to pronounce the S. The fact that Soarin' is named "Soarin'" and not "Soren", yet Trixie is named "Trixie" and not "Tricksy", is merely confusing, but at least seems like an in-universe idiosyncrasy. Hasbro chipping away at the sensibility of their universe in order to maintain trademarks, on the other hand, I have less tolerance for.
(And I already have little patience for that aspect of trademark law; I play with Legos, order coke without regard to the manufacturer, and buy the store brands of q-tips and kleenex. Trademarks may give you exclusive rights to marketing, but that should not extend into everyday natural language, and allowing it to is ceding our culture to creeping corporatism.
Because yes, of course cartoon horse names are that big of a deal.)
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Every single episode and movie past S3E1 credits her as Cadance, as does all her merch. That ship has kinda sailed.
Having said that, I'm bang along side you on Fleur. Would it had have been so fucking hard to go with... some other weird mangling of that spelling? Or to just go with "Fleur?" Fleur is trademarkable as a name in this specific context! They named Applejack after a kind of liquor, for chrissakes.
Coke isn't generic. Pepsi is not Coke; they taste radically different, as does RC Cola or whatever store brand you might be drinking. I'm with you on q-tips and kleenex, because those actually are generic.
(I have been to parts of the country where people order "Pepsi Coke". Those people are wrong and should be ashamed of themselves. It's like ordering mustard ketchup! They're two different, mutually exclusive things!)
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But those ones suck... They always bend so easily.
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I think I actually conflated a few things there; referring to all tissues as "kleenex" is different from referring to Legos as "Legos" and not "LEGO™ brand toy construction blocks" or whatever. I would never refer to Megabloks as Legos.
But hey, at least I'm not one of those people who calls all soft drinks "coke". Apparently there are parts of the US where people use the word to refer equally to cola, Sprite*, orange soda, ginger ale... I don't know how they stand the chaos.
*A common synonym for "7-up".
Cadints - small mints
Cadens - small chocolate bars
Cadanz - sporting goods
Cadens - sports team
Ca Danse - clothing brand
Someday...
Shipping goggles don't deceive. They compel.
I want to take the goggles off, but I can't. I hope, and when I hope, it never goes where I want.
It is Cadance.
Type "Cadance" into Google.
(I get the joke! I just think what happens when you type "Cadance" into Google is hilarious.)
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The thing is, as I understand it, it's not merely that the name would be trademakable. It's that someone may already have the trademark on it. Someone may very well be squatting on "fleur de lis" in the context of dolls and Hasbro can't do a damn thing about it without risking legal action. The remarkable thing about "Applejack" is not that they named her that without weird wrangling, but that they snagged it at all. This may explain why it's one of just a handful of names they've doggedly held on to all these years.
I am admittedly no expert and would welcome correction.
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Also:
Funny thing is, by the time I started "How to Remove a Unicorn Tooth" the a/e flux was already a thing, so "...by Any Other Name" was actually in the queue from the very beginning. It was a little bit funnily frustrating when people called me out for calling the series "Cadance of Cloudsdale" but referring to her as "Cadence" in the text of "...Unicorn Tooth" because I was like "NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M GOING FOR HEEERE"
chocolates and roses set certain expectations in the context of a fanfic.
They usually do in real life, too, for that matter. That's one of those gift sets you want to rethink if you don't mean it romantically.
3797089 Different parts of Hasbro spell it different ways at different times. Her name was Cadence in the script; the toy department that made Celestia pink was the first to use "Cadance". In other words, the writers and people whose opinions I actually give a damn about call her Cadence, while some of the corporate drones and overlords who don't watch or care about the show call her Cadance.
Cadence is a word, with a beautiful musical meaning which springs to mind on seeing a pretty pink alicorn princess. Cadance is not a word, just a sound--not even a sound, since no one knows how to pronounce it. It is a theft of music from my world of ponies which makes it less beautiful, motivated by greed. The 'a' in 'Cadance' is a constant reminder of the iron glove of Hasbro around the neck of Equestria, ready to squeeze for another dollar.
3797352 "Apple Bloom", though, is still free for the taking.
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You're sticking them in your ear, aren't you? Didn't you read the warning label?
Never stick a Q-tip in your ear!
I don't know what else you'd do with them, though. Probably best not to ask.
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But seriously, though, what else are they good for?
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Do bear in mind that these awful toy people are the reason the show exists and has run for so long. And these toys are undoubtedly the source of much joy to many children and, one suspects, adults.
Indeed one of the best ways to show support for the show would be to go out and buy a lot of Hasbro pony merchandise. Just say it is for your niece's birthday...mine has had five of them this year already....
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People who wonder what else a q-tip is good for beyond cleaning out your ear have never had to apply and maintain makeup in a very serious way, or clean into very tight, small spaces that also require something gentler than an acid brush.
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I traditionally haven't bought much of the merch, but then they released those amazing EqG minifigs and it was like, holy jesus these are nice.
They need to hurry up and release the Sunset one, tho. I have a shrine that needs a centerpiece!
3797226 But hey, at least I'm not one of those people who calls all soft drinks "coke". Apparently there are parts of the US where people use the word to refer equally to cola, Sprite*, orange soda, ginger ale... I don't know how they stand the chaos.
It's not chaotic but it is grating. People will ask for "orange coke" or "purple coke" or "Sprite coke" or even "Pepsi coke." (The latter I find to be intensely wrong on many levels)
"Cola" is a generic descriptor. "Coke" is both a brand name and the specific name of kind of cola drink with a flavor profile that is distinct from others. You just... shouldn't use it generically.
3797698 I don't resent the awful toy people for selling toys. I resent them for selling awful toys. The bizarre inattention Hasbro has given to the toy line that keeps them alive is a failure of rationality which some economist should study, alongside the tiny cup-holders in 1990s luxury cars and the "Morphsuit" logo. This is some of the stuff they've been selling:
ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31XWS7DHOQL._AA160_.jpg ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41HkNjBduSL._AA160_.jpg
ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51%2Bb5Bx30ZL._AA160_.jpg ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51UZbTruZ8L._AA160_.jpg
WHAT IS THAT BLUE MONSTROSITY AT THE BOTTOM ANYWAY? There was never anything like that even in a show, but it's what Walmart was selling here during Season 3.
Ponies come out in the wrong color, or wrong race, or with the wrong names or cutie marks, year after year... it's obvious nobody in the toy department watches the show or even checks the wikis. Can't they find ONE PERSON to check their stuff before their slaves in China make a million copies of them?
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...Perhaps, knowing that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the great diversity of beholders in this world, even such perverse-looking toys find a happy audience?
Maybe?
It could be true....
Children are very good with their imaginations, I understand, and it is hard not to argue that these toys encourage them to flex those mental muscles....
Ah, no, I've got it. The nightmare fuel creates demand for watching the cutesy, happy show as a sort of stress relief or "comfort high", which creates demand for more of these, ah, toys, and so on. Quite ingenious, perfectly rational, and the behavior of the consumers can be explained as drug addicts or self-harmers, who seek ever-greater highs in the form of even more abominable toys and a show that pushes the limits of cuteness. It's a mad, sick world, people gathered in dank, diseased dens in some murky corner of the underbelly of humanity, with their awful Rainbow Dash-like baby doll things tied to one arm to watch the season premier, eyes bloodshot, hands trembling, as the opening theme plays....
My little pony, my little pony....
And in unison, these broken and forgotten castoffs of man lean back, bodies relaxing, eyes widening, pupils expanding, and say, "Ah...ah...ah...."
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Also, there is no second meaning to "deceptive Cadance". That right there is almost enough to establish original intent.
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There is a dilemma here in that buying the toys only incentivizes certain aspects of the show, which may not reflect what (I/some hypothetical person) enjoy(s) about it. I think it's pretty clear that the show has been directed by what's "toyetic" enough, and I certainly don't want it to get more toyetic. (Also, Lord knows MLP will remain profitable for the near future without my help, so I have latitude to be a free rider. Hopefully I make a little of it up by boosting the reputation of the staff by being a fan, thus improving their estimated value from their employers and their future hire-ability.)
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I wouldn't use "Pepsi coke" either -- that is awful. Insofar as it refers to anything specific, it refers to the specific brand. Yet I feel no need to order "a cola" instead of "a coke", and find the response "is Pepsi okay?" to be a little redundant. That's kind of a weird in-between state for the word -- it seems like it has to terminate with "coke" being fully generic, which seems wrong, yet my current usage feels perfectly right to me.
(Also, I feel a bit bad for encouraging quite so much hairsplitting over Cadænce's name and related issues, but nobody's Godwinned this yet and I don't think we'll come to blows, so it's all in good fun.)
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I assumed it was just a case of quantity (of variety as well as sheer numbers) over quality, but your "bad toys are like cigarettes" explanation is a lot more fun.
(Three comments in a row? Sorry, Bad Horse.)
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The thing is, the reason waitstaff (or even just polite hosts) ask that question is because there is a nontrivial segment population for whom Pepsi is emphatically not okay.
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s25.postimg.org/s8b8iwsyn/Hitler_Ihre_Nahme_ist_Cadance_768x1008.jpg
What's Scribblefest?
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I was being facetious. I've used them for cleaning my computer fan before. They work really well.
3799065 Search on fimfiction or google for Everfree Northwest. It's their writing competition. It's closed now.
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Ah. Okay, thanks BH.
Seen how I perform in the WriteOff, no regrets whatsoever not to have entered.
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And when that smack rushes to my head
Then I thank God I'm as good as dead
And I thank God that I'm not aware
And I thank God that I just don't care...
Pony friends are real friends:
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Do grammar nazis believe in Strunk-and-White Power?