Coming In Like A Foul-mouthed Navi... · 9:55pm Feb 9th, 2016
Hey! Listen up, you pecker-neck'd chuckle fucks! Quit playing Tiddlywinks, get your man-pleasers out of your pockets, and shut your cock-holsters, cuz I'm back! Oh, yeah! Look at you! You was talking all dat good shit, and then you got kicked in yo chest!! I have returned, and you know what that means!!! TRAINING, BABY! WHOOO! THE TRAIN TRAIN'S A-COMING DOWN THE LINE! WHOOOO-WHOOOO!!!!
Oh, I am never saying that again...
Howdy, howdy, FIMFiction! Like it says, I'm back from my little booksortcation in the desert. It wasn't fun. Like... at all. These places tend to shine a spotlight into all those corners of your mind you try desperately to ignore. But, in the end, it was worth it. I'm not "fixed," per se, but I now have some tools to keep me from going completely batshit. I also grew an epic beard that was the tits. I didn't think I could grow one that thick, but I'll be damned if I didn't make Obs look like a wee babe with my beardiness. Sadly, it had to go, since I'm now back in Army world. I do have pics, but since Imgur went bitch mode on us, I can't really share them.
So, what did I miss? What is the latest trend or bandwagon that people shamelessly jumped on? Do the Angels still faff? Is Megapone still writing porn about ridiculously oversized cocks and the horses attached to them? Does Captain Unstoppable still sleep in a MacDash onesie and write epic demon battles?
So... yeah. I'm back in the swing of things. Thank you all for your support and for your kindness over my long absence. For real, it meant a lot and helped even more knowing I had so many awesome people pulling for me. Never forget that I fucking love you all. Stay safe, stay free, and stay metal! Jake The Army Guy out!
And the adorable Applejack shall flow like the mighty Mississippi...
Like you needed to ask that.
And welcome back, man. We've all missed you.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Dude, welcome back. We missed you
Also, pics of that beard plz
Does the pope shit in the woods?
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yay jake!
Hey! You gave it to me, so of course I wear it numbnuts.
Glad your back brother!
Welcome back, brother. You have been grievously missed.
Welcome back.
Welcome back! You were missed. Please post pics of the beard. Did it gain a life of it's own and run away? Mine tries that sometimes that's why I have to shave so often.
Aha! Now I'll be able to pinpoint exactly where you were staying!
Glad you're back and stronger than before, Jake.
I'll give you one guess as to what this is. And welcome back to the only pony loving NCO I've ever met.
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Welcome back to the land of pones, mang!
3743846 man I love Lopoddity's Art!
Imgur blacklisted fimfiction recently, probably in regards to the sheer quantity of embeds people have been doing here. So there's a hatetrain a 'rolling around here somewhere.
And welcome back!
Welcome back.
Welcome back, Jake! Great to have you around again.
3743864 dude, horsecock 4 lyfe.
Well... The L-Train posted a new video on youtube. And Imploding Colon released... Actually how many chapters ARE you behind on Austreaoh now?
Glad to have you back.
Great to have you back, Sarge.
3743899
was 20 something, now around 10. I jsut read the chapter where Bard and Wildcard came back and sent Dash to find her next waifu.
Welcome back Jake!
Boss! It's really you! I knew you were alive, Boss!
*tearful, wobbly salute*
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Welcome back.
Welcome back
Wb Jake.
welcome back! :D
Welcome back. I don't think too awful much happened. I'm sure whoever was writing giant horse cock has continued to do so, just as I have continued both not-writing-it and wishing-I-didn't-know-that-was-a-thing.
Welcome Back.
Welcome home, Bro! Glad you are getting things sorted out.
Welcome back, Jake! Good to hear from you again.
Jake is back! And the peasants rejoice.
i.imgur.com/OfYGY.gif
Welcome back Jake, glad to see one of the great ones back!
Welcome back, Mr. Guy.
Welcome back!
Ah, you are back. Welcome back mister Army Guy.
Dat intro.
Da actual fuq.
Good shit. I laughed my ass off for a bit.
But still dafuq.
Welcome back brother!
Welcome back, Jake. Glad you're holding up.
Welcome back sir.
Glad you're back! Rock it man!
Didn't even catch you were having problems. Remedied now, hope you are, too.
Better, I mean, not remedied, like, taken care of 
. This has not been a good year for losing people so far.
Welcome back. Can't say there's much news in terms of fads and authors (never kept track of that) but aside from RealityCheck apparently checking out a while back, now it seems there is sort of a trend to write Spike fics, and a few reactions to the recent spoiler regarding Season 6 and the presumed new character (which may turn out to be a dream, or fake, or an illusion, or just not what it seems, if the rest of this show's trailers are anything to go by). It's nothing major, not like the faddy invasions of yesteryear.
Welcome back man.
God I was really beginning to miss your adorable little obsession with background pony.
What's new, what's new...
Well, Aegis Shield did a hie fic, Realitycheck has bid us a not so fond adieu and now occupies Archive of our own with his sage like wisdom and witty banter (seriously,I'm still upset... asshole trolls....) that native uprising has been thwarted, Chengar Quordath continues mary sue-ing, I ravage what is left of the Equestrian Wasteland with my own contributions to Kkat's corner of the fandom, and the Dark Collective is pleased.
That's about it man. Glad to have you back
I'm glad to hear you're doing better. There's no shame in needing a little help sometimes, even best pone had to learn that, eh?