So how are you liking Gunsmoke? · 3:36am Dec 7th, 2015
Is the balance of teenage drama and gun-slinging action good?
How about Sunset's motivation? Or Luna's involvement? What do you think of Science!Twilight? Is the pacing good? The science interesting? Are the characters believable? Do I need to spell out game-mechanics a bit more? Maybe some more background? What needs to be touched on more, in your opinion?
I'm curious, my dear readers, on what your thoughts on it are so far. I know a few of you have left comments, and I definitely thank you for that! In fact, I'd like to encourage the commenting!
But if you want to throw in random theories and such, I'd very much like to hear them! Do you feel this is a story worth recommending? Or is it something to enjoy but not necessarily tell others about? Don't worry, I won't get offended if it's not, in your opinion.
I, for one, am (almost) always a fan of more action, but it needs about as much drama as it has to make a believable story. Gamer Luna is always a good thing and should be included in every story, ditto for Science!Twi. I would love some more detail on the game mechanics, but I'm a huge nerd for such things and it probably isn't necessary to follow the story. (Maybe I should just spend a few hours clicking around the SAO wiki.)
Overall, I have not stopped not regretting my decision to read it, and hope this trend continues (make sure you don't misread that)
As a big Sunset and SAO fan, I'm loving Gunsmoke so far. I'd simply be satisfied with more. That said, one thing I was hoping to see was more Canterlot people in Gun Gale online, with Sunset forming more friendships in game that spill out in to the real world, just like with Luna.
I've loved every second of reading Gunsmoke so far and would highly recommend it to my friends. I will say I'd like to see Sunset making more friends and I'd love to see more experiments with her magic either in game or out. I'm not sure where the fanon that Sunset is a pyromancer came from but it's one I've enjoyed since I first encountered it. Sorry for the bit of rambling but when I talk about stories I like I tend to do a bit of stream of conscious. Please keep up the excellent balance you have going though I trust you to do well no matter which direction you might take it. Looking forward to more.
I am really digging it so far!
I like it as a concept and I am finding Sunset's struggles with friends and life interesting.
I am more curious about the experiments Sci!Twi is doing. And I want to know more about her love life! You can't drop that one little hint and not expand on it!
I'm liking it quite a bit... But I'm not really liking that Rainbow Dash is getting slapped with the designated bad guy role or something.
I'm really liking it and would probably recommend it to somebody else once there's a bit more of it (a kind of personal policy, I hate to recommend good things that then pander out, I trust you but it' one of the very few rules I try to follow consistently).
I've never seen SAO but i'm groking the story without problems, so I decidedly prefer the current format of cool action not weighed down by unnecessary mechanical details.
RD seems a bit too immature, even considering that the EG character lack a bit behind their horsy counterparts, but I feel there is a reason for it despite "RD is a jerk". Maybe some clues about that would help.
As for the rest, the balance between action and drama is good, I don't want to skip either parts so they are both engaging.
No real opinion on gamer Luna, but it's nice to see her and Celestia in a different role than "horrible principal/mind controlled principal/disaster management principal/reconstruction supervising principal".
I think I'll like it better once I get around to actually reading it.
Personally, I've always been a big fan of science and magic fusion. I like coherent theories and laws of magic based in science and universe building in general. So more of that please
, but not at the expense of other aspects of the story of course. We still need the action and drama, with a sprinkling of comedy to keep it light. Keeping it light in parts of a story makes the dark parts have that much more impact, and vice versa. So far so good in that department, although...
Sometimes it feels like I'm reading two different stories. One about Sunset figuring out her new self and how to not only be a friend, but have friends be friends in return (if that makes any sense
), and another story about Desert Mirage kicking ass across GGO, making a few friends along the way. It's not often that the two worlds have met.
That's just fine at this point in the story. It has really only just begun. However, I hope we see more convergence of the two plot lines soon. Like, the Mane5 (excluding Twilight) have realized that they've been doing things with Sunset that they like to do, but they still haven't asked Sunset what she likes, the obvious answer being GGO. Wouldn't one of them like to try that out? Do you know how fun yet excruciatingly tiresome it can be to introduce a noob friend to a game you're high level in? That could be an interesting scene, if not a full arc, of the story, no?
With my initial thoughts out of the way, because I like you, I'm going to try to answer each of your questions individually now.
1. Is the balance of teenage drama and gun-slinging action good?
Yes, although you could flip between the two a little more often, but nah, don't worry about it. This is good. Too often would just confuse and irritate some people anyway.
2. How about Sunset's motivation?
). So, I totally understand that motivation and find it genuine. Also, not wanting to accidentally Flame Punch RD is believable too. 
Her motivation being that she feels like she's putting all the work into her relationships, and that sucks? Sometimes I feel that way. It's like, no one ever makes an effort to be my friend, I'm just their's (not always the case, but often enough to get me down sometimes
3. Or Luna's involvement?
Guess I'm a Lunatic. Get it? 
... In seriousness though, I really like the way you've played her so far, but I can see her easily getting too attached to her student, despite herself. Could become another source of drama?
LUNA!! YES! Love Luna.
4. What do you think of Science!Twilight?
As I said in the preface, science and magic are like peanut butter and jelly in my book. So naturally I'd like to see more of the science girl to build on that point.
5. Is the pacing good?
Yes. What, expecting some long winded exposition?
6. The science interesting?
Yes, but I'd like more detail in that area, because I find it so interesting, you see? I'm funny like that.
7. Are the characters believable?
Totally. I mean, since this EQG. However, you've already pointed that out in some comments somewhere. They don't act exactly how we'd expect the Equestrian group to act, but they aren't exactly them either, so we can't really complain too much, can we?
8. Do I need to spell out game-mechanics a bit more?
As someone who's familiar with GGO, I've found that I've almost subconsciously supplied the information to fill in any gaps, so it's hard for me to notice, but I have noticed a few times that you could have spelled it out more. Although, I'm sorry to say that I can't identify particular instances. Just ask yourself, "If I had never heard of SAO or GGO, would I get this?" and make sure that people will get the server lingo and what prediction lines are. Alternatively, just assume your audience already has the knowledge and move on. *shrugs*
9. Maybe some more background?
I've read some stories that do a really good job of this, and it can be quite nice. More description of the environment would be nice. Remember that you can not only describe it visually, but you can get the senses of smell, sound, texture and even taste involved. Like, just how does that alcohol at the bar taste? Is she drinking smokey and hard, or a sweet nectar? Hell if I know, since I don't drink, but it would interesting nonetheless.
Also, you could do more to describe the pain of getting shot in game. You might have mentioned it before, but I don't remember it at this point. Has it just been that long since she's been shot, or did SciTwi fix it so that isn't a problem anymore?
10. What needs to be touched on more, in your opinion?
I think I've answered this in several places already, just in this post.
I think I've spent over an hour and a half typing this up, and that seems like long enough. Therefore, goodnight!
P.S. I would totally recommend this.
I became hooked at around Chapter 4 as that was when the story really grabbed my attention, and also because I do have a soft spot for science fiction. Also, I view this story as having a bit of a wild western feel to it, and I attribute that to my dad's love of westerns, and him telling me about all of the ones he used to watch when he was younger.
Luna's presence in the story has been handled really well, and it's nice to see Sunset struggling with finding her way because of everything she has been through. For some reason, I keep on expecting Science Twilight to play the game rather than just monitor Sunset's progress, but I suppose it's a personal preference. Would I recommend this story? In the words of the Doctor... yes.
3599052
It was a tricky last sentence, but thank you! I'll try.
Wait for it.
3599119 I won't say there's no CH or CP students there, but Sunset hasn't either met them or made the connection.
3599150 The magic of friendship will prevail! As for her flames... I'm not sure either, but I like the connection between her cutie mark and fire magic, which would not be the only magic she can cast, of course, but as something that might come naturally to her, it would make more sense for her to use IRL accidentally.
3599168
3599179 I see her less as a bad guy and more as a hurting friend that doesn't really understand why things aren't working perfectly. She's acting a bit selfish, true, but not out of malice.
3599227 Your personal policy makes sense. Too often we see fics just get dropped, despite the authors best intentions.
3599261 I agree!
3599301 Heh, you might like the newest chapter then. Thank you for taking the time to answer each question!
3599319 Hm, Twilight some reasons for that, which I sort of alluded to, might need to clarify that a little in future chapters.
3599335
You alluded to it? I must have missed it, but I would like to see what will happen to her.
3599347 I missed it, and that's something I kinda expected too.
Thought she might have been the one to introduce the game to Sunny, but that'sjust wild speculation on my part.
3600206
In this story, Twilight is known to have a strong fascination for computers given what has been described about some of the contents of her lab, so it wouldn't be out of the ordinary if she also had an interest in online computer games.