Setting down the pen · 1:00am Nov 20th, 2015
I'm sorry if this seems sudden, but I'm not going to be doing commissions anymore. Things have been eating at me, and I'm finally coming out and telling all there is to tell, and why I'm going to be walking away from the fandom. For good? I don't know, maybe. Am I still a brony? Yes, because I enjoy mlp. I consider that to be different than being apart of the fandom.
To be honest, the joy of writing for me comes from creating something unique, something that I see in my own mind, putting it down into words and sharing it with other people. I was excited when I started commissions because I was now getting paid for it, but honestly, the money really spoiled it for me. It made it go from an enjoyable activity to something that I didn't really want to do anymore. And honestly some things have happened over the last few months that are making me question my feelings about the fandom, and if I want to be as heavily involved, or involved at all, as I have been in it.
That being said, I want to take a large step back, and catch my breathe. Maybe even take a break from it all so I gain some of that wonder back, because right now, it seems to be all slogging together into on color, and that makes me sad. The support I've gotten has been amazing, but I'm loosing my wonder in in all of it. I'm loosing that spark, and you know what happens to a story if it has no spark. It's not a story worth reading. I'm going to be deleting this account and going back to my original account https://www.fimfiction.net/user/geartechthelivingrobot so if you'd like to reach me, I'll be there. Out of habit, I'll probably check often, but don't expect new content any time soon.
I'm sorry, and if this seems like it's sudden, it's only because I haven't talked to a lot of people about this. This is my own choice that I've come to because I've been constantly evaluating my life and other things, and I have found that I'm not liking where things are going, and so I'm making some course corrections.
It's really sad, to be honest. Almost a year in a half ago I thought that I had found something that I was so excited about, something that I though would last and bring me joy, to lead to better and better things, and now, looking at it, it's fading, and fading fast for me. I don't want to say that I'm falling out of the fandom, but if I walked away for good now, I don't think I'd mind. It was fun, and I'll always be a brony at heart, but this...this isn't what I want. It just seems that most of what I write goes unnoticed, or is barely noticed, unless it's porn. Even then, it doesn't get noticed much, but after keeping my eyes open and being disillusioned to the fandom, that we could do no fault and that all bronies are awesome, kind, understanding and (blah blah blah), for a while, I'm seeing that there are somethings that I'm not okay with. Some people who have bad attitudes, that just ruin things for me and while there are a lot of little stories here and there that are cute and fund to read, the ones that get more of the attention here are clop.
I don't know, maybe I'm just tired of feeling like I have to write in this little bubble or feel like anything I've done has been done before, just in different words. In the end, what do I have to show for? Not much. Well, with this account, nothing, and I'm asking myself if that's what I want. I think this might be it for me, at least for a little while, and when I come back, if I come back, it's not going to be big. I want my life to go somewhere, I don't see it moving here.
Thank you all for your love an support. You all have been awesome. I just need something different. Something new, and I'm not seeing it here. I hope you understand, and if you don't, you're entitled to that. I know when I read blogs like this in the past I didn't, or wouldn't understand, and thought it was a publicity stunt, but now that I'm on the other side of the keyboard, I understand now. It hurts, but at the same time, it's a relief.
Thank you all, and I hope you all have an enjoyable rest of the day.
Ah well that's sad to hear i was kinda looking forward to seeing you maybe actually do something and from some of the blogs from your main account i can gather this was a attempt at getting some money together due to times being hard.
about the whole fandom thing first off you should just stop considering yourself a brony it helps just be a fan of the show but putting some distance between yourself and the whole "brony" thing does help far as i've noticed.
good luck on everything though.
3555026 I like the way you put that. I'm not a brony anymore. Just a fan of the show. Thanks.
3555240
lol let me tell you the truth i'm so embarrassed by my past in the fandom that even when i'm talking to someone who i know is more or less a ponyfag i'll dance around the subject by saying "yeah i've watched it it's okay no only the first season"
Hey was just wondering where that one story with Pinkie Pie went (The one about the "party") V: then saw this and saw your stories are gone. That's a shame )= I kind of liked that one, as weird as that sounds >.> And I didn't get to finish it xD
3556801 it explains it in the blog before this one, that I was taking that down. This accounts going to be up for another few days, but then I'm deleting this one too. Just...cleaning up. No a brony anymore, and frankly, as much as I am a fan of the show, I don't want anything to do with the fandom anymore.
3556826 Oh... that's a shame but I understand you have to do whatever you feel is right... that being said, I can't help but wonder why sexual deviance isn't okay, while grimdark stories are... I mean surely stories about murder and violence are just as offensive if not more so than sexual fetish stories... That's the only thing I'm wondering now... it's not really my business but I just think it's sort of contradictory in society that sex is a more taboo and looked-down-upon subject than violence, murder, and death.
3556826 Not meaning to double post but I just wanted you to realize that this isn't really about you personally. You should do whatever you feel is right~ But in terms of society and writing in general... I really believe that no censorship is the best kind of censorship... if you catch my drift. I mean from what you wrote, I only saw that one story... it was really well written... and about subjects that don't get nearly enough stories written about them. It was an interesting idea. Though... the main thing is that you have a right to choose whatever you want to write... I just don't want you to think it was wrong of you to write those sorts of things... censorship shouldn't be a factor for budding writers such as you~ In closing, I can understand your frustration in not getting commissions in other areas you want to write in. Sorry if I'm being annoying v:
(I just wish I had finished reading that story at least.) >_>
hey, if you can't write anymore, then don't~
We can't force you to, and I respect falling out of the Fandom- and IRL reasons~
I don't like the show much, but I'm all over the outer things, the... Darker (not NSFW) parts of MLP anyways
plus, it can be hard to write for other people- like it's an obligation or law sometimes (or all the time) (That's how I view it)