Bah, Humbug—oh, wait, toys! · 1:32am Nov 11th, 2015
AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!
Yesterday, Mattel’s Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots went on sale on Amazon for $10, instead of the usual $20.
(Do I know my readers, or what?)
11/3/16: WARNING: See These aren't the robots you're looking for.
I discovered this while Christmas shopping for my nieces and nephews, who covet my Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots. The Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Robots that I could never have when I was a kid. Whose presence on my coffee table now proves that I can have anything I desire. They pound the controls of Red Rocker and Blue Bomber as if they were mere things, rather than tangible proof that I am now the master of my destiny.
So it’s gonna be a rock-em sock-em Christmas. Maybe the little urchins will stop beating bothering me if they have their own.
Uno Attack, a newer but surprisingly fun and evil game of schadenfreude that cost $30 when I bought it a month ago for said urchins, is now $15. Jungle Speed has gone up a dollar. Its less-violent, more-cerebral big brother Set is $9, the same price it’s been for 20 years.
Hungry Hungry Hippos is still $13.
Elf not included.
I think these games cost more when I was a kid, even without adjusting for inflation. Either that, or my parents were incredible cheapskates.
Once Upon a Time, 3rd edition, is also not on sale, but what can you do? It’s the best game ever made. This is proven by science.
I know you're evil—and I also derive much joy from seeing a Christmas elf devoured by ravenous hippopotami—but I just want to say that if I didn't already love you, I would after reading this blog post.
I expect no reciprocation from that cold, black heart of yours, obviously.
"...'s that not okay?"
Never underestimate the ability of your parents to be cheap.
And never think for one moment, that should you one day be a parent, that you shall not be as cheap as yours.
"The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys." ~ Doris Rowland, 1975