Fic recs, November 6th: Last Dreams of Pony Island edition! · 1:34am Nov 7th, 2015
Important news that needs signal boosting! Someone needs help winning custody of their child!
Man oh man, don’t miss Lost Narrator’s reading of The Cough! :D It’s a good bit better than mine. :B She’s also done Rainbow Factory! And Illya Leonov recorded Would It Matter If I Was?, with Caitbug and Scribbler!
Speaking of, I have a new reading, and it’s of One Night by ArgonMatrix!
If you like to laugh, and who doesn’t, go read this thing!
So as I move backwards into the single-digit episodes, it occurs to me that the characters don’t sound quite the same. The VAs or voice direction hadn’t finalized everything. Seriously, go watch something like Trade Ya! and then watch Look Before You Sleep right after and tell me Applejack and Rarity don’t sound different. Also, that episode’s Truth or Dare session starts the trend of “ponies can’t play games properly”. :B It may also have what can be considered the only foreshadowing of Shining Armor’s existence.
Something that struck me about Boast Busters is the idea that Twilight could lose her friends though some slight. It’s a concept that faded after season two, and you don’t see stories anymore about Twilight and co. drifting apart for non-dramatic reasons. It’s always interesting to travel back to mindspaces of the past, and that’s one that I’d forgotten about.
Thanks again to my amazing patrons, Noble Thought, Cerulean Voice, Alexstrazsa, Bradel, Protopony350, Soge, horizon, Super Trampoline, and Quill Scratch for supporting these journals!
What’s that? Whaddaya mean “reviews”? You came here for announcements! :V
...Okay, maybe it's been a while since I've done this...
H: 5 R: 10 C: 2 V: 3 N: 3
The Last Dreams of Pony Island by horizon and Skywriter
Reading by Dubs Rewatcher
I love when authors get into reading. :D He did a great job with this story, for all that it really should be read and not heard, using some good voices but also simple techniques to differentiate characters. (Though Littlemoth’s chapter was too quiet.)
Genre: Prose Poem/Murder Mystery/Historical
Myinnkyun was supposed to spread friendship beyond the borders of Equestria. Instead, it was plagued with suspicion, hostility, monsters and murder.
So this was an event horizon crafted a little while ago. I think he wrote the original story for a writeoff, then decided that, upon publishing it, he would leave the ending open and send out a call for others to provide their own ideas on what happened. There was a contest, Skywriter won it, and this is the result. I wasn't gonna read them all, but then I did, and I'm glad I did, and here's why:
Once again, horizon attempts something ambitious and in doing so effortlessly shows us how to write a story. This is crafted marvelously, slowly doling out first descriptions and details, and then plot twists left and right. The links to the show are, perhaps, tenuous (though I’ve always been of the mind that extra-Equestrian settings such as this are just fine for stories about murder and betrayal), but they both exist and are quite surprising. The prose is lovely, the seventeen characters all have very different personalities and desires, and drifting through the piece is quite the experience. That said, the ending left me scratching my head, and I hate that I have to pin all the blame on Skywriter. Actually, I think blame can fall on horizon and his contest, because in hindsight, the murder mystery portion of this story was entirely meta; he asked for an ending that would tie up a number of mysteries, but at no time does the story itself really ask the reader to solve those. (I think “Who threw the spear at U Low Kene” was the more intriguing mystery, anyway.) The characters are all too busy throwing barbs and jumping to conclusions and suspecting one another; without a, shall we say, Sherlock Holmes to sit down and sort things out, or even suggest that there are things that need sorting out, the reader is left to draw their own conclusion, or not, as they so wish. Still, that’s a plot issue, and the plot is not the draw here. Everything else is still excellent, and the use of a second writer to finish the story was clever, if only because the different writing style comes off as yet another well-differentiated character.
Highly Recommended
The endings are all collected in Dream a Little Dream of Me which I am linking here so I don’t have to do it again. I know one of these has been published on its own, so if you know any more, let me know and I’ll change the headings. Needless to say, spoilers for the main story will abound.
The Gems Glitter Like Blood in the Sand by Titanium Dragon
I find it interesting that this is not only from Adagio Dazzle’s POV, but also implicates Discord somewhere down the line. The inclusion of Adagio is interesting because she was suggested in the canon ending; Discord’s interesting just because so many other villains came into play, it makes sense to see him around somewhere. I suspect the author of this ending was confused as to the identities of the major players (I’m fairly certain Peridot is referred to as a batpony, anyway), but who can blame him, really? A bit more poetic than I expected, but ends in a fun spot.
Recommended
My Father/Was a Night Guard by Everyday
So this one comes from the POV of Peridot’s Nocturne son. That by itself is interesting, suggesting that night ponies are born as others are, rather than made by Princess Luna or any other such thing. That said, I found the prose extremely plain; for anyone who thought the original could have just been written like a story, I open comparison to this piece, which is just a story with line breaks. It doesn’t help that the main character comes off as omniscient, deftly wrapping up what should not be easy to do. Overall, it’s far removed from the main story and doesn’t, in my opinion, work.
Not Recommended
The Beach, Her Shore Soaked by Coolmrfreeze
This one’s kind of got the opposite problem; the language is poetic, but it’s also got some major typos that undercut the effect. Interestingly, this is an attempt to provide a Sherlock Holmes to wrap everything up. In doing so, it wraps up far too neatly, shooting an arrow at Majority Vote and exploring nothing else.
Not Recommended
The Old Stallion Calls Me by Foehn
1000th Review of 2015!
Okay, here’s a writer who really got this piece. The conclusions drawn are different than what ended up being canon, but everything from the language to the characters to the world-building is spot-on, and taken even further as a poem by use of textual formatting. It’s at least as good as the winner, if you ask me.
Highly Recommended
Dreams Can Lie/I Know This True by DeluxeMagnum69
Oh no it’s rhymed. D: Beyond that, it doesn’t really explain anything, nor am I sure who the speaker is supposed to be. Can’t say I enjoyed it.
Not Recommended
I Find There Is No More Need to Stare by Grand_Moff_Pony
This one’s rhymed (barely), but it’s obviously not meant to be metric, and that goes a long way toward calming my tits. It’s written as the winner, from Rosetta to Nostalgia, and I rather like the refrain, and the ways its meaning changes as the poem goes on. That said, it doesn’t seem to offer much in the way of answers, but I’ll take enjoyable poetry any day.
Recommended If You Like Poetry
I figgerured out murderpone by KitsuneRisu
Reading by Me
Genre: Crackfic/Starcraft Crossover
I haven’t been doing genre tags for these because they’re generally trying to accomplish the same thing. This one? It most certainly is not. This comes hot on the heels of Do It Mattered If I Is?, if we’re keeping track of fanfiction careers, which explains a lot. So yes, this posits that a Protoss Dark Templar killed Peridot, and gives, err, "compelling reasons" why. Suffice to say, it’s funny as shit, though if you know zero about Starcraft, you’ll likely be more lost than most. If you have a high tolerance for bullshit, however, it’s easy to see why this was lauded by the contest. I loved it.
Recommended
“Honorable Li Kao.” by Not_A_Hat
This one’s almost entirely world-building, our Nightmare reporting back to a Qilin overseer. It’s all very ethereal and artistic. But don’t let that fool you: it’s as good a read as any, and the conclusion is one of the more intriguing so far.
Recommended
I the Dream/I the Dreamer by KitsuneRisu
What a cheater, with two entries. :V I kid, this one’s pretty great on its own. Good poetic form, and the kind of wrapping-things-up ending I wanted to see, in that it almost raises as many questions as it answers. Mostly, Peridot isn’t dead, which is one of the most surprising revelations I suspect I’ll find in any of these. It’s definitely a standout.
Recommended
I Never Meant for This to Happen by FanOfMostEverything
Man, so many of these agree that Hotspur was the Nightmare; that’s just interesting. That said, I think I like this one more for its form than what it accomplishes, which is to close up Last Dreams like a zipper.
Vaguely Recommended
Shame! Shame by Dubs Rewatcher
Holy shit, talk about textual poetry! This is actually so heavily formatted it had to be posted as an image. It’s almost a shame, because there’s some very faint text you could see more easily if you could highlight it. Quite frankly, I’m just sort of dazzled by the poetry itself, though it does bring some fun conclusions of its own to the table. Make sure you up your zoom a bit and look out for those pale asides.
Highly Recommended
The Water of Myinnkyun’s Harbor by Cold in Gardez
Reading by Illya Leonov
Genre: Lost Cities
This is actually the reason I decided to review these: a new chapter in Lost Cities that required foreknowledge. Being a Lost Cities entry, it takes place well after the events of Last Dreams, showing us the ruined colony that resulted from Peridot’s death. It also suffers from its halfling status. As an ending for Last Dreams, it doesn’t solve a whole of mysteries; as a Lost City, it’s not empty enough, which should make sense if you’re familiar with the series. Still, it’s a good read, and I’m actually quite glad Cold in Gardez took this route with Myinnkyun.
Recommended
Blackest Mirror Laps on Sand by ponichaeism
This may be a tad confusing for the casual reader, but I adore the language use. And as an ending, it’s pretty solid, definitely one of the better contenders. Not my absolute favorite, but it draws solid conclusions.
Recommended
Praise the Eternal Sun by BlazzingInferno
This one doesn’t draw the most unique conclusions, but its form and function are quite good. I really appreciate the diminishing lines of each stanza, and just the way things are said. I suppose I’m praising the characterization, then! The idea that sirens and changelings are natural enemies was pretty great world-building, too.
Recommended
Did You Hide, U Low Kene? by Monarch Dodora
If nothing else, this one has my favorite title; thankfully, it’s also one of the best entries. An excellent poem written from the perspective of Palei Hantu, detailing her fall and that of U Low Kene, and how that got tangled in the web of Myinnkyun. This is another entry that really understands what Last Dreams was trying to do.
Highly Recommended
They Say Memory Is a Fickle Thing by FDA_Approved
I’d say this is the best ending that creates a POV character whole cloth. It doesn’t tie everything up — the Mooken angle is noticeably dangling loose — but its form rings true to the story. Hones Tee, for all that he has a silly name, feels like a fully realized character, and a living part of Myinnkyun. Not bad for a late entry!
Recommended
The Myinn Go to War on the Morrow by Spectral
This is very nicely written, but it’s got a major problem: it doesn’t answer anything. In fact, it explicitly isn’t even trying to. It’s from Palei Hantu’s POV, and she just has no idea what happened, looking only toward the future. It’s a good read, but not if you want closure.
Recommended If You Don’t Mind Loose Threads
Royalty by AugieDog
I really love how a lot of these endings make a big deal of the time period this is set, of having batpony characters apart from Equestria during Luna’s fall. This one actually goes all the way, written as a conversation between Celestia and Luna, and surprisingly after Luna’s return. Once again, Augie shows he’s a deft hand with rhymed poetry, delivering a complex rhyme scheme that initially dismayed until I figured it out, after which it was a delight. The meter is perfect, as well; the only thing I would criticize is some words like “stuff” creeping in that don’t quite fit the tone. And for all that this is a lovely piece of poetry, it doesn’t answer everything. I think it works as its own piece, though, giving us a look at two characters who’ve been largely absent from Last Dreams and yet whose shadows draw long over it.
Highly Recommended
I’d Say I Was Sorry, Sunspot by journcy
This is one that suffers from not answering everything and also not needing to be a poem. It reads like prose pretty easily, and the line breaks don’t add much. It’s not bad, and it does stand out from a lot of other Hotspur-centric endings. I think reading these all in a row is a bad idea, though, for all that one should, to be able to keep the various plot points straight.
Vaguely Recommended
Myinnkyun’s Reflection in the Ocean by Trick Question
This one comes off similar to the previous entry, but better. It answers more, and more fully, and adds in some nice world-building as well. And for all that it’s a little shaky as a poem, the voicing is great. It has something very important to say about the proceedings, as well, which I distinctly appreciate.
Recommended
...And Those Are the Dreams of the Myinn by Windfox
The lack of poetry makes this feel very straightforward, as Littlemoth and Palei Hantu discuss what they learned about Peridot’s murder through the dreams of the ponies. I appreciate that Littlemoth keeps poking holes in the theory presented to her, but this really is just a straightforward explanation of facts and conjectures.
Vaguely Recommended
Dawn Has Yet to Break by Fahrenheit
I’m very much entranced by how this transitions from poetry to prose. It’s a most effective gimmick. The POV character in this is pretty interesting, as well, and I’ll leave it to the reader to find out why. It doesn’t tie everything up, but it’s a good ending nevertheless, leaving me with a bit of a shiver at the finale.
Recommended
Ugh, does that all look really messy to anyone else? :/ I don't like this journal, sorry, guys.
Thanks for the review and the recommendation, PP! :D
The Hotspur thing, I think, was because they were one of the few named characters who didn't actually get a chapter, and so naturally attracted people by being 'build-able' but concrete.
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To be completely honest, I read the first two endings, and then there was a gap of at least two weeks, during which I forgot everything about the story. D: I bullshitted the rest of these reviews on vague recollections. This is my lowest moment.
Well, this was a cool surprise! I'm glad you liked it. I'm even more chuffed that the entries scored so collectively highly — that's a further reinforcement that my contest just drew an amazing caliber of entrant. I mean, 15/23 scoring R or higher? That's insane.
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Having read all of them, I can assure you that your vague recollections tracked well with the entries. The formatting's no worse than usual, either (it just might look weird because of the missing Genre line. There's nothing to be ashamed of. And thank you! I really appreciate the attention to the range of talents on display.
I hope you don't mind if I signal-boost this so the authors involved can find it?
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go5it
Was anyone else confused and wondering how black holes factored into Myinnkyun? No? Just me?
Man, I should've involved black holes in my guess. Not sure how. Maybe Peridot just walked into a rogue singularity that was wandering around after Luna's banishment or something.
I turned my entry:
Into the 30th piece in my poetry collection if you want to link to it there.
Mike
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Oh great, another collection to add to things. D: THANKS AUGIE
ThaugieThanks for the review and rec PP, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I almost feel sorry for what I made horizon go through. Almost.
Oh man, how did I not see this when you posted it?
I agree, but be aware that like half my reading for her chapter was crying into the microphone.
And thanks for the HR, sweetums! I appreciate it.
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Being a terrible friend :V
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Hey, I called you sweetums, didn't I?
3559623
Flattery will get you nowhere V:
PP, the real problem I had with my "Pony Island" entry was somehow balancing the twin goals of "explain everything" and "match the tone of the original" (which is intentionally vague and filled with
peopleponies who are, themselves, wrong). And I think that's sort of what you're picking up on here. I think everyone wants a "This is how I did it" chapter at the end of their mysteries, but when I conceived of doing it that way it just clashed so profoundly with the tone of the original story that I couldn't make it work. I tried to hit a middle ground with a character who, despite her benefit of perspective, fumbled with the same questions that the islanders did. If you're at all curious, here is my final "actual" solution.3559942
So, uh.
Last Dreams of Pony Island is a poem about how an entire colony of ponies was wiped out because of bigotry and racism.
You've named your explanation "Pony Island Final Solution".
3560368
Friggin' words.
3559942
Okay, this is the best thing ever. :D I can feel you getting progressively angrier/drunker as the explanation progresses.
3560471
I really started hating Sunspot more and more the more I thought about him.
3559942
I don't think I ever originally read this. It's great.
The most heartbreaking thing about Sunspot being a butthole is that he was probably one of the few ponies who wasn't to blame for Myinnkyun's demise. Not really. He had one job — to keep ponies safe — and he was essentially the white blood cell of the settlement, attacking the cancer that had warped its body beyond recognition. He behaved exactly as he should have been behaving in a healthy system, but the system wasn't healthy, and so the correct intentions led inevitably to the worst possible outcome.
Nearly everyone died because of him, but the settlement was doomed long before he marched them into the jungle. I'd argue it was doomed even before Peridot's murder, though that was when the illness turned from chronic to acute. Myinnkyun died when its inhabitants stopped being ponies — when they started marching to the tunes of greed and fear and hate.
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Oh, thank you! Yes, while Sunspot was the direct cause of the war, it'd be like blaming that last swinging boot at the end of a Rube Goldberg contraption instead of giving any credit to the huge complicated assemblage of parts leading up to it.
By the by, did we ever get your take on the timeline? Or did you eventually decide that anything you said would cheapen the contest? Rosetta and I have some niggling doubts that have never been answered to either of our satisfactions...
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I think I just got sidetracked after the contest by the other three billion things going on. If you want to go back to the story or the contest collection or one of my LDOPI blog posts and pester me with those questions (rather than cluttering PP's mentions), I'll see about at least answering those … although, fair warning, I'm in deadline crisis mode right now for ocalhoun's contest and there's an Original Fiction writeoff starting Thursday night, so it would be much better to pester me in about a week.