Epitaphs · 3:45am Oct 5th, 2015
Tonight I was perusing FiMFiction before bed (instead of doing my homework), and I came across something that made me stop and think for a moment; something that made the night just seem a little bit longer, and a shade darker. It’s been a while since my last blog post, so I figured I’d just share some of my thoughts with anyone else out there who might want to drop in and listen.
I was on FiMFiction browsing through stories, when I came across the now defunct user page of Chaotic Dreams, now renamed as No Longer Active. When I find something online that’s been abandoned, I immediately want to investigate it. I want to know why whoever was making what they were stopped, where they are now, and what it was that they made in the first place. I started going through Chaotic Dreams’ blog posts and stories, and as I browsed the names and descriptions of each story (some of which I found are on my Read Later list), I took note of the dreaded “Cancelled” indicator at the bottom of all their stories. I looked at the Cancelled sign below every story, and an inexplicable sense of melancholy and sadness began to settle in my chest.
Many of the stories looked like great ideas and had a lot of views, comments and likes, but now they would never get an ending. The people who loved those stories would never have the satisfaction of seeing the characters in each of them reach a satisfying conclusion. All that is left are sound bites, frozen in cybernetic stasis. I’m not saying that Chaotic Dreams was wrong to leave FiMFiction and abandon their works (and I’ve never even known them, and certainly don’t have the right to critique someone’s personal life choice as a writer). In my time as a netzien I’ve come across many projects on Youtube, Fanfiction, FiMFiction, Deviant Art and other websites that have suffered a similar fate, and many with good reason—let’s face it, the internet can be both a harsh and barren landscape when it comes to things like artistic feedback. Still, it’s very sad to see so many good ideas that will never be finished.
Then I thought of Bloodborne: Oligemia, and all the other stories I want to put up on FiMFiction. I thought of how people wanted to know the rest of the story that I had set up—perhaps you’re one of those people—and I thought of how lazy I’ve been lately; no blog posts, no story updates, no new stories. Nothing. I don’t want to disappoint anyone who’s read my story (or “stories” in the plural if you’re reading this from the future). I don’t want to leave people hanging, left with nothing to do but lay in bed at night with the lights off and ask “what if it had continued?” over and over to the ceiling. I know I’ve been there. Sometimes you’ve got to say enough is enough, that’s true. FiMFiction can’t be the be-all end-all of writing as much as some of us would like it to be (or act like it is). I don’t want my own writing to be that way though. I don’t want the only thing that’s left of me on this site to be a dead page with a couple of blogs and 3 chapters of a barely written story on it. I want to make something out of my time here that I can be proud of, and that will fill the minds of others with wonder the same way stories from people like Chaotic Dreams did to me when I read them. I want to write for two reasons: because no one else can tell the stories I want to hear except for me, and because I know people want to hear the stories I have to tell (provided they’re, you know, properly edited, actually make sense and don’t have gratuitous sex scenes—basically 50%+ of the stories on this site, but I digress).
So I’m not going to give up. Not if I actually have to learn to stop procrastinating and do my work, even if it is thankless, completely free and totally misunderstood by my parents. I love the brony community, I hate closure, and I refuse to let this FiMFiction account become a mere epitaph to what could have been.
As for Chaotic Dreams, I applaud that they're moving on to greater things. I'll be looking out for that original story promised in their last blog posts. If the popularity of their work on FiMFiction is any indicator, it's probably gonna be a best seller.
Onna real, "Digital Media Disk" does sound like it could be some kind of electro-metal garage band.
3444066
Ugh. That quote of yours.... I'm never going to try and write something feelly at 11PM again. Lesson learned.
3446185
Oh, you knew the job was dangerous when you took it.
Onna real real, though, I'm glad to hear you're not giving up, and my reasons are only partially selfish. The simple fact is that I get the warm glows inside whenever someone is able to do something they want. That's a big part of why I'm willing to try and help them however I can, and that extends to you too.
I am absolutely at my happiest when I see others actualizing their own desires.
3446333
Wow. That's really cool of you. Thanks, dude! It's because of the helpful attitude of people like you that I think the brony community is one of the best internet communities on the web.
3446368
Humans don't have Special Talents, but if we did, helping others be all they can be would be mine. In that regard, I kind of wish more people were like me.
In every other regard, I'm rather glad to be the only one; I don't think any of us would be safe, otherwise.