• Member Since 26th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen January 5th

kudzuhaiku


She's looking at you. Yes you. And she is judging you with her eyes. There is no escape.

More Blog Posts2119

  • 55 weeks
    It's late

    But my brain isn't quiet. I'm stoned out of my goddamn gourd. Don't worry, it is just my usual regimen of drugs. That's how I spent a lot of my time now. Wasted. Doesn't really help with the pain much, but makes it a bit more tolerable. All of my drugs cost over 5 grand a month. That's what it takes to keep me going. I'm in somewhat better shape because of all of it, and there's a few bright

    Read More

    10 comments · 1,328 views
  • 66 weeks
    Cyborgification is potentially a-go

    Finally found a doctor that didn't run screaming upon seeing my spine images and xrays. The team is coming together. Met with the neurosurgeon the other day, and he thinks I am an ideal candidate for augmentation. The transition is happening, I think. I still have to pass a psych evaluation and other steps, but I am closer now than ever. First I'll have the trial run; they'll sink electrodes into

    Read More

    33 comments · 961 views
  • 95 weeks
    Today, life changes forever.


    It's been a long, long road to get to this point. A big thank you to everyone who has been with me during this journey.

    25 comments · 1,020 views
  • 95 weeks
    Big changes are happening


    Read More

    35 comments · 1,253 views
  • 119 weeks
    I suppose it is time for an update

    Been meaning to this, and I've become the King of Pro-Crasty Nation. I kept wanting to report, but there was nothing to report, no good news at all, so I just... didn't. Sorry. Went a bit silent on my end. It just sorta happened.

    I finally got a lawyer willing to take up my case. After that, things started happening.

    Read More

    17 comments · 2,046 views
Jul
16th
2015

Chase Chapter 742 teaser · 5:06am Jul 16th, 2015

Some ponies, when faced with a day of doing nothing, choose to get work done. Bon Bon was one of those ponies. She had taken over the kitchen of the farmhouse, labouring away, until at last, she had produced something, an idea that had been lingering in her mind for quite some time.

Sentinel, his eyes narrowed, examined the end results of Bon Bon’s hard work. There were little chocolate princesses, each of them glazed over with a candy coating. Celestia had a white candy shell, Luna had blue, Cadance had pink, and Twilight Sparkle had a purple candy coating.

They had no eyes, no defining characteristics, which somehow made them even creepier. Sentinel shuddered. The very idea of eating one unhinged him. He looked up at Bon Bon, his eyes going wide, and he shook his head.

“This is too weird. I couldn’t eat something like this,” Sentinel said.

“Sentinel, son, you eat tubes of toothpaste. What’s wrong with little chocolate princesses?” Bon Bon looked at her creations, a whole herd of them standing upon the table.

“I can see little plot puckers!” Sentinel said, pointing with his wing.

“Well, the creamy filling has to be injected somewhere!” Bon Bon rolled her eyes. “I guess I need to do a better job of hiding it.”

“Creamy filling?” Sentinel asked.

“Candy goo. Sort of like marshmallow fluff. Princess Celestia has vanilla, Cadance has cotton candy, Luna has blueberry, and Twilight Sparkle has grape,” Bon Bon replied.

“So you jammed an injector into their backside and filled them full of creamy filling?” Sentinel eyed the candy creations and felt even weirder. He heard Bon Bon choke and the sound of her heart beating faster filled his ears.

“Sentinel… don’t say it like that… it sounds dirty!” Bon Bon looked down at her son as she bit down upon her lip, trying not to smile.

“I can’t eat these. Where does one start? It feels disrespectful to bite Princess Celestia’s head off… and as for eating the other end… that’s just wrong. There are… filly parts on the other end... I’d never be able to look Princess Luna in the eye ever again if I gobbled her backside.” Sentinel backed away from the kitchen table and let out a whimper.

“I have finally found something that Sentinel doesn’t want to eat. Perfect. Just perfect.” Bon Bon heaved a sigh as Sentinel continued to back away.

“So wrong…” Sentinel shook his head. “Nope.”

“What’s wrong?” Luna asked as she trotted into the kitchen. She came to stop with a curious expression upon her face. She looked at Sentinel, saw his disgust, looked at Bon Bon, and then her eyes came to rest upon the kitchen table where the herd of candy ponies stood. “Is that me?”

“Yes Luna… and Bon Bon wanted me to eat you! But I said no!” Sentinel cringed and waited for Luna’s reaction.

“I can see my own anus.” Luna’s eyes narrowed as she stared at the candy version of herself. “Why do I have an anus? No… wait, better question… why do I have an edible anus?”

A screech of horror escaped from Sentinel and the colt closed his eyes.

“The creamy filling had to go in somewhere,” Bon Bon explained in a sheepish voice.

“I see.” Luna lifted her head high, smacked her lips, and then looked Bon Bon in the eye. “These are quite well made. Am I to assume the final product will have details like eyes, tails, and manes?”

Bon Bon nodded. “Yes, I plan to paint the eyes on and add spun sugar manes and tails. For now, they are just bodies. Rich chocolate with a hard candy shell.”

“And a creamy filling, squirted in through the anus.” Luna’s ears pinned back at the sounds of Sentinel’s shrill echolocation whistle of horror. “Can I have one?”

“Please do… by all means, try one. Show Sentinel that it is okay to eat them,” Bon Bon said to Luna.

Lifting one up with her telekinesis, Luna eyed it, examined it from every angle, and then bit the head off of one. She chewed for a moment, her eyes closing as an expression of bliss crept over her face, and then Luna said, “Mmm, vanilla. Spicy and strong! Is that a hint of bourbon?”

“She’s eating her sister!” Sentinel cried as he ran out of the kitchen.

Report kudzuhaiku · 421 views · Story: The Chase ·
Comments ( 7 )

Of course Luna would eat a Celestia one first. :trollestia:

Why don't we have a Luna smiley?

Perfection.

Also, would killing one of the princessesb e considered regicide or pantheocide? Or both?

Yes. Just yes. The horrifying of Sentinel like this amuses me greatly. Because I am terrible. :trixieshiftright:

this is so right.... i want to eat a princess with a creamy filling

“Yes Luna… and Bon Bon wanted me to eat you! But I said no!” Sentinel cringed and waited for Luna’s reaction.

“She’s eating her sister!” Sentinel cried as he ran out of the kitchen.

Sentinel is too young to know they joy of eating a creamy princess... while luna know the double joy of eating her sister :raritywink:

this is why i love Kudz and the Chase... :eeyup:

Perfect Fridge Horror here. Bravo!

Login or register to comment