• Member Since 11th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen 9 minutes ago

Aquaman


Prithee and well met, thou tempestuous witch of storms, to alight so delicately upon the jet streams of the cerulean sky. Welcome to Spirit Airlines.

More Blog Posts154

  • 25 weeks
    Aquaman's Feel-Bad Story Time Hour (Or: At This Point Whatever's Going On with Me and Flurry Heart Is Frankly None of Your Business)

    Did you enjoy (in a figurative sense) me writing about Flurry Heart being in a toxic relationship in "And I Hope You Die"? Have you been thinking (in a literal sense), "You know, I bet the result of that toxic relationship's end is going to be that cotton-candy pony princess doing things that would be war crimes if she didn't win the war she crimed in?"

    Read More

    1 comments · 371 views
  • 41 weeks
    Monophobia Postmortem (Or: I Have Now Released My New Shit and My Fell-Off-Ness Is In a State of Constant Flux)

    "You used to be big."
    "I am big. It's the [website] that got small."

    (Come on, I've been living literally on Sunset Boulevard for a year and a half now. Gimme just this one bit of referential self-aggrandizement.)

    Read More

    13 comments · 447 views
  • 48 weeks
    I Ain't Fall Off, I Just Ain't Release My New Shit

    That's true, by the way, not just a cheeky two-year-old Lil Nas X reference. I really have been working on lots of stuff over the past year or so: a few TV pilot scripts that I'm generally okay with as learning experiences, some networking-type stuff here in LA with other "pre-WGA" (which is our fun term for "aspiring" [which is our extra-fun

    Read More

    10 comments · 318 views
  • 90 weeks
    'Sup

    Hey, horsefic folks. How it's hanging?

    I hope "in Bellevue" is at least some of your answers, because that's where I'll be in a few hours and will remain through the EFNW weekend. I'll be, as always, six-foot-four and affably daydrunk, so say hi to anyone who meets that description and sooner or later it's bound to be me.

    Read More

    12 comments · 410 views
  • 151 weeks
    Regarding Less-Than-Positive Interpretations of Pride

    Let's get a quick disclaimer out of the way before we really get going: I don't like foalcon. By "foalcon" here, I refer specifically to M-rated stories that depict characters who are very clearly meant to be minors engaging in sexually explicit conduct with other minors and/or adults. Not a fan of it! I find it gross on a personal level, I think it's morally reprehensible that a site of this

    Read More

    38 comments · 1,929 views
Jul
5th
2015

Relentlessly Optimistic Minuette Ruins Your Dramatic Fanfic Plots · 5:38am Jul 5th, 2015

"You know, honestly, aside from the weather and the weird neighbors, the Wasteland really isn't that bad!"



"What do you mean, I'll forget you ever existed, Lyra? You're one of my best friends! I'll always remember you!"

"On the other hoof, it's not like that factory doesn't produce some really great rainbows, though. I mean, they're amazing!"

"Oh. My. Gosh. I knew you were secretly Princess Celestia in disguise! Wait till everypony hears about this!"

"Oh, of course humans exist, Lyra! Don't you remember that one that took such good care of Rainbow Dash?"

"Well, yes, I see what you mean, but I suppose whatever she wants to do with a human in her own house is fine by me!"

"Look on the bright side, Twilight: I bet you'll be great at intramural softball next summer!"

"You're such a funny little kid! Remember that time you banished Celestia and covered the world in eternal night? Three words. Never. Ending. Sleepoveeeer!"

"Don't worry about it at all, Twilight. If she's real to you, then she's real to us."

"As morally reprehensible as this is, you gotta admit these sure do hit the spot!"

"What do you mean, I'll forget you ever existed, Lyra? You're one of my best friends! I'll always remember you!"

"As long as it's fun, the game can live as long as it likes!"

"Oh, don't worry, Princess Celestia. We have coffee and sweet tea as well!"

"You're so right, Lyra: Bon-Bon totally does always have a perfect mane! It's as if she can just change it at will, just like that! I wish I had her talent."

"Oh my, you sound terrible! Hang on, I think I have some cherry drops in my saddlebag."

"Well, he seems harmless enough to me now. Appearances aren't everything, y'know."

"Lemonhearts just told me about this fantastic new flower shop across town! Come on outside and join us!"

"It's okay, Twilight. I'm a tough cookie, and I'm more of a movie fan anyway."

"You always overhear the best stories about Celestia and Luna, Twilight! Let me know if you ever find out how that one ends!"

[noises of a relentlessly optimistic horse hooked up to a mud-stained carriage]

"Nice outfit, Twilight. Very colorful! Where are you off to today?"

"Don't take it personally, Twilight, but I think it's actually spelled a little differently than that. Eight's not a very big font size either."

Comments ( 40 )

First person to guess all 22 references gets to pick which one I lead off the extended fic version of this with.

Why am I still unable to add blogs to my favorites list

Overly optimistic Minuette is the best. Here, I started a list for others to work with.

1 - Fallout: Equestria
2 - Background Pony
3 - Rainbow Factory
4 - Sunny Skies All Day Long
5 - My Little Dashie
6
7
8 - Past Sins
9 - (Asylum?)
10
11 - Background Pony (again)
12
13 - Princess Celestia Hates Tea
14
15 - (The Cough?)
16
17
18
19
20 - (The Adventures of Tom Sawyer?)
21
22

3208288
Input cheat code: All 22 references are references to My Little Pony fanfiction.

3208325

I think 10 is cupcakes, 12 is The Immortal Game and 14 is Medacity. Not sure about the rest.

"What do you mean, I'll forget you ever existed, Lyra? You're one of my best friends! I'll always remember you!"(x2)

I thought this one broke me, but then this:

[noises of a relentlessly optimistic horse hooked up to a mud-stained carriage]

I'm broke. laugh much Pls fx


"You know, honestly, aside from the weather and the weird neighbors, the Wasteland really isn't that bad!"
Fallout Equestria

"What do you mean, I'll forget you ever existed, Lyra? You're one of my best friends! I'll always remember you!"
Background Pony

"On the other hoof, it's not like that factory doesn't produce some really great rainbows, though. I mean, they're amazing!"
Rainbow Factory

"Oh. My. Gosh. I knew you were secretly Princess Celestia in disguise! Wait till everypony hears about this!"
This one is tough because there are a TON of these out there... What sort of disguise? Young foal? Her secretary? Either way, I'll just go with my favorite one: Scootamon

"Oh, of course humans exist, Lyra! Don't you remember that one that took such good care of Rainbow Dash?"
My Little Dashie

"Well, yes, I see what you mean, but I suppose whatever she wants to a human with one in her own house is fine by me!"

No idea

"Look on the bright side, Twilight: I bet you'll be great at intramural softball next summer!"
Asylum

"You're such a funny little kid! Remember that time you banished Celestia and covered the world in eternal night? Three words. Never. Ending. Sleepoveeeer!"
Past Sins (I loved reading that line in Minuette's voice so much.)

"Don't worry about it at all, Twilight. If she's real to you, then she's real to us."
Forgot the damn name of the fic where she creates a double of herself and eventually tries to despell her double. Something "I Hardly Knew Me"?

"As morally reprehensible as this is, you gotta admit these sure do hit the spot!"
Cupcakes

"What do you mean, I'll forget you ever existed, Lyra? You're one of my best friends! I'll always remember you!"
Background Pony (again)

"As long as it's fun, the game can live as long as it likes!"
The Immortal Game(?)

"Oh, don't worry, Princess Celestia. We have coffee and sweet tea as well!"
Celestia Hates Tea

"You're so right, Lyra: Bon-Bon totally does always have a perfect mane! It's as if she can just change it at will, just like that! I wish I had her talent."
Mendacity

"Oh my, that sounds terrible! Hang on, I think I have some cherry drops in my saddlebag."
"For I have no friends and must scream"?

"Well, he seems harmless enough to me now. Appearances aren't everything, y'know."
That one where they find a human encased in ice? This one is pretty vague too.

"Lemonhearts just told me about this fantastic new flower shop across town! Come on outside and join us!"


"It's okay, Twilight. I'm a tough cookie, and I'm more of a movie fan anyway."
Fluttershy Did a Porno(?) (where they see she has a tape with her butt on it. I know this one is wrong, but it's totally what Minuette would watch in that nasty house of hers. xD)

"You always overhear the best stories at Royal Council meetings, Twilight! Let me know if you ever find out how that one ends!"


[noises of a relentlessly optimistic horse hooked up to a walking plow]


"Nice outfit, Twilight. Very colorful! Where are you off to today?"


"Don't take it personally, Twilight, but I think it's actually spelled a little differently than that. Eight's not a very big font size either."

I got nothing for these.

"You know, honestly, aside from the weather and the weird neighbors, the Wasteland really isn't that bad!"
Fallout: Equestria
"What do you mean, I'll forget you ever existed, Lyra? You're one of my best friends! I'll always remember you!"
Background Pony
"On the other hoof, it's not like that factory doesn't produce some really great rainbows, though. I mean, they're amazing!"
Rainbow Factory
"Oh. My. Gosh. I knew you were secretly Princess Celestia in disguise! Wait till everypony hears about this!"
???
"Oh, of course humans exist, Lyra! Don't you remember that one that took such good care of Rainbow Dash?"
My Little Dashie
"Well, yes, I see what you mean, but I suppose whatever she wants to a human with one in her own house is fine by me!"
???
"Look on the bright side, Twilight: I bet you'll be great at intramural softball next summer!"
Hard Reset?
"You're such a funny little kid! Remember that time you banished Celestia and covered the world in eternal night? Three words. Never. Ending. Sleepoveeeer!"
Past Sins
"Don't worry about it at all, Twilight. If she's real to you, then she's real to us."
I Forgot I Was There?
"As morally reprehensible as this is, you gotta admit these sure do hit the spot!"
Cupcakes
"What do you mean, I'll forget you ever existed, Lyra? You're one of my best friends! I'll always remember you!"
Background Pony (again, rather ominous)
"As long as it's fun, the game can live as long as it likes!"
The Immortal Game
"Oh, don't worry, Princess Celestia. We have coffee and sweet tea as well!"
Princess Celestia Hates Tea
"You're so right, Lyra: Bon-Bon totally does always have a perfect mane! It's as if she can just change it at will, just like that! I wish I had her talent."
Mendacity
"Oh my, that sounds terrible! Hang on, I think I have some cherry drops in my saddlebag."
???
"Well, he seems harmless enough to me now. Appearances aren't everything, y'know."
???
"Lemonhearts just told me about this fantastic new flower shop across town! Come on outside and join us!"
???
"It's okay, Twilight. I'm a tough cookie, and I'm more of a movie fan anyway."
???
"You always overhear the best stories about Celestia and Luna, Twilight! Let me know if you ever find out how that one ends!"
???
[noises of a relentlessly optimistic horse hooked up to a mud-stained carriage]
???
"Nice outfit, Twilight. Very colorful! Where are you off to today?"
???
"Don't take it personally, Twilight, but I think it's actually spelled a little differently than that. Eight's not a very big font size either."
???

This is fun :D

3208325 I think I can add a few here.

1 - Fallout: Equestria
2 - Background Pony
3 - Rainbow Factory
4 - Sunny Skies All Day Long
5 - My Little Dashie (Also Anthropology)
6 - Xenophilia?
7
8 - Past Sins
9 - (Asylum?)
10 - (Soylent Green? Pretty sure there's a fusion of it somewhere) Cupcakes (how did I not think of that?)
11 - Background Pony (again)
12 - Friendship is Optimal
13 - Princess Celestia Hates Tea
14
15 - (The Cough?)
16 - Mort Takes a Holiday?
17
18 - Words Failed Her?
19 - Whom the Princesses Would Destroy? You changed this one since I last looked. Now I'm even less sure.
20 - (The Adventures of Tom Sawyer?) Somewhere Only We Know (took me a while to find the title)
21
22

Oh, and Raz? Your cheat code is wrong. Friendship is Optimal isn't MLP fanfiction.

1. Fallout Equestria
2. Background Pony
3. Rainbow Factory
4. Sunny Skies All Day Long
5. My Little Dashie
6. Xenophilia
7. Ascend
8. Past Sins
9. Petriculture
10. Cupcakes
11. Background Pony
12. The Immortal Game
13. Princess Celestia Hates Tea
14. Mendacity
15. The Cough
16. Mort Takes a Holiday The Last Stand of King Sombra
17. Remember Me Dangerous Business
18. Words Failed Her
19. Princesses Don't Potty Sisters
20. Somewhere Only We Know
21. Hard Reset
22. There, They're... Αλεκτρονα

Oh. My. Gosh. I knew you were secretly Princess Celestia in disguise! Wait till everypony hears about this!

Am I the only one who thinks this is Richardson's Scootamom?

Relentlessly optimistic Minuette, best pony of the week.

Comment posted by Bad Horse deleted Jul 5th, 2015

3208598 That's both impressive and alarming.

Relentlessly Optimistic Minuette reacting to grimdark is my jam, man.

3208598 I assumed #7 was Hard Reset.

Oooh, oooh, can I play?

"It's okay Spike, you're just a kid! And I think it's adorable!"

3209012

I'll second that!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

[noises of a relentlessly optimistic horse hooked up to a mud-stained carriage]

This is the best one.

Some of these seriously need to be written. Just Colgate shutting everything the fuck down.

3209012

"It's okay mister Joad! California has perfect weather, so your family will like sleeping outdoors!"

3209012
I wasn't kidding about lengthening some/all of these.

3208598
I like your ideas for the most part but it's even more hilarious if #17 is "It's a Dangerous Business Going Out Your Door."

"Oh my, you sound terrible! Hang on, I think I have some cherry drops in my saddlebag."

That is what broke me. Bravo, you crazy horse. Way to already begin planting the seeds of fics I don't have time to write in this head of mine.

>inb4 Minuetteverse

3209309

"Don't be so sad, Prince Mishkin! Just learn to accept your friends the way they are!"

The real disappointment (as always) is not seeing any of my own fics on the list. One day....

Also, relentlessly optimistic minuette is best pony.

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/06/11/a7/0611a77b5c4df6a4d271c7af9790d043.jpg

3209359
"Not having a mouth comes in handy to keep the bugs from flying in! Also, screaming is overrated."

3209393

"But that nice man came all the way from Porlock to visit you--can't you finish your poem later? There's more to life than books, you know!"

Chipping in one here that I loved: "Sure you're an earth pony detective without a cutie mark and she's a criminal unicorn whose special talent is magic, but there has to be something that attracts the two of you together. How do you like art?"

3209092
Yeah that would make a lot more sense.

3209397
3209393

"Kill an old lady? Don't be silly. Why would anyone do that? Come on to my place, Rasko, I just made pelmeni. You can have a nice cup of tea and calm down."

"Oh, at least cold equations are nice and refreshing."

Or... hey...

"Aww, don't be sad Twi! I just invited the Princess for tea!"

3209479
"Awww. C'mon! Laughter is the best medicine!"

3209064
"Oh, hello there! It's lovely to meet you!"

Here're my guesses, I impressed myself by how many I managed to get on my own. Anything with a questionmark and or multiple titles I took a stab and included guesses from other folks that sounded plausible.

1 FO:E
2 background pony
3 rainbow factory
4 sunny skies all day long/the secret of princess celestia
5 my little dashie
6 xenophilia
7 asylum
8 past sins
9 i forgot i was there
10 cupcakes
11 background pony again
12 immortal game
13 celestia hates tea
14 mendacity
15 the princesses would destroy/the cough?
16 the last stand of king sombra/mort takes a holiday?
17 dangerous business
18 flutterbutt/words failed her?
19 sisters/princesses don't potty
20 somewhere only we know
21 hard reset
22 Αλεκτρονα

3209812
Upvoted, because pelmeni.

3209064

I, for one, would totally read the heck out of that.

"Aww, Blueblood, don't be so glum about it. Think of it like this: this way, every day is a party. Literally!"

What about Cupcakes?

I was really hoping that last one was a Spiderses reference.

Because I think Minuette would be okay wit being bigger and eight.

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