Fridge Horror Commentary, And Also Me Being A Prick · 5:04pm Apr 24th, 2015
So I needed a friend to pass me some notes I had lost to prepare for an exam that was coming soon. She was reluctant to do so at first, because she hates people borrowing her notes, but I knew she’ll eventually let me take a photo because we’re pretty close and help each other all the time.
However, to make it easier for her to make that decision, I said “Come on, if you lend me the notes for one afternoon I promise I won’t sing you the Spongebob Squarepants jingle or throw your notes to the ground and scream ‘YOU DON’T NEED TO STUDY, YOU JUST GOTTA BELIEVE IN YOURSELF’ minutes before the exam.”
Her eyes sparkled after that, and she gave me her notes immediately, whispering: “That’s a promise”. Then she bragged with our other friends about how I was not going to annoy her at all this time.
The others got offended, because I’ve never offered them to stop being an ass in exchange for a favor before.
When the exam came, I walked into the class. Dead silence. My friend looked at me, dubious. She had her notes in her hands.
I winked at her. And then I walked pass her seat without saying a word. I could hear the sigh of relief from the other side of the room, and she went on with her last-minute studying.
I forgot what the moral of this story is.
Rambling about Fridge Horror and more things after the break!
You know what’s the only thing better than talking about yourself? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. The only person I love more than myself is an alternative version of myself with a jetpack. I once got called a narcissist and that offended me, because why the fuck would I have a syndrome with another guy’s name. I wouldn’t drown in a river while looking at my reflection, because I would be too busy groping my own ass.
What I mean with this is, I know blogging about your own story can be a little bit masturbatory, but c’moooooon give me a break. Some people enjoy this behind-the-scenes info about my stories.
Most don’t, though. Turns out there are followers out there who like my, uh, “narrative” blogs? If you’re one of those weird folks (Seriously, you like that? I mean… Uh, okay. Should I keep writing one-offs, or do you want me to add some continuity to the clusterfuck of idiocy that is Aragón’s Blogs? I particularly enjoy the one-offs, but some people prefer story arcs), then I’ll ask you to wait a lil’ bit. One of those motherfuckers are coming, worry not.
Anyway! I’m not here to talk about my blogs. This is about Fridge Horror, my latest story! Woohoo! I like that story so much.
And for a reason, too. Fridge Horror, by this point, is the most rewritten story I’ve ever posted.
You see, I’d had a particular idea for a long, long, long time. I called it “Sandwich Fic” in my head, and it was about Spike making THE PERFECT SANDWICH. In the background, the M6 would be fighting a monster or saving Equestria, in an epic, out-of-this world adventure. But Spike would be the total focus, and his actions would mirror the adventure going on in the background.
Not even blinking, Spike would travel through Ponyville in the middle of the destruction, asking for ingredients and tips to make THE PERFECT SANDWICH. He would talk with each one of the M6, and all of them would take the sandwich thing seriously, ignoring the world-changing mess they were dealing with at the same time.
The point of this story (comedy, if you’re wondering) would have been that, when you get to it, saving the world is not that big of a thing for anypony anymore. I mean, they’ve done that so much that it’s lost its sparkle, y’know? So, Spike making THE PERFECT SANDWICH (yes, the caps are fucking mandatory) was more important for them.
Because, look, Spike doesn’t really do much, does he? At least when you think world-shattering shit. However, THE PERFECT SANDWICH is a really big deal for him, because it’s a project he’s pouring his heart into. And the M6 are all about friendship. Friendship comes first, saving the world comes later. If it’s important for Spike, it’s important for them. So they’ll fucking help that lil’ fella to cut the onions just right, and they’ll deal with the villain later.
I really liked the concept. It has enough absurdity to deliver tons of jokes and ridiculous situations, and enough hidden complexity for the people who don’t like my comedies to completely miss the fucking point. Perfect mix.
But it was… well, a little bit weird, and I never really got around to write it. Real life got in the way, I guess? I was always writing something else, so the concept kinda withered and died in my mind.
But not really! The idea of something huge happening in the background and something insignificant being the focus of the story was still there. I really liked it. Also, the act of making a sandwich, for some reason.
Flash forward a couple months. Right now I’m trying to move on, to shake and change my personal style a little bit, to evolve [1], and another idea came to mind.
[1] More on that later!
Y’see, I really like Ray Bradbury. When I was a little kid, my father introduced me to the idea of short stories as actual literature with Isaac Asimov and Ray Bradbury (and later we moved to Jorge Luis Borges). Bradbury is a personal hero of mine, and I really like his stories.
So I thought: what the hell. Let’s write like Bradbury.
Next thing you know, I’m having a really hard time trying to write in a way that’s completely different to what I’m used to do. The story I had in mind was a descendant from Sandwich Fic, but the elements were a little bit shaken up – Roseluck and Caramel are students, mentally exhausted after studying for over six hours (WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW AMIRITE AHAHAHAH oh god I’m a horrible writer I’m sorry). They share a flat with Raindrops.
So Roseluck and Caramel are taking a break, and they start doing that thing college students do when they are exhausted or drunk: they get deep for no reason. Time travel, how does magic work, what does reality mean… Stuff that doesn’t really mean anything, but that you enjoy discussing.
In the background, Raindrops makes a sandwich, and accidentally summons an eldritch abomination.
The story was short, and the joke was simple: Roseluck and Caramel didn’t even blink at the eldritch abomination thing. Raindrops was the one dealing with the monster (who had no personality whatsoever, he just screamed random ominous lines all the time), and they just kept talking bullshit.
The story ends when Raindrops defeats the monster (she asks for help at one point, the others reply they’re tired, Raindrops says “Oh, never mind then, I’ll take care”) and the other two realize their break is over. So they suddenly cut the conversation, never really getting to any point, and then go to their rooms to study. Raindrops makes herself another sandwich.
The end.
So it was another story, but way weaker. The point had changed a little bit, too – it was about knowing what is really important, and also about tired ponies, I guess? It was also fucking weird, because at one point Roseluck and Caramel started flirting. Have you ever tried to flirt while talking about time travel? It doesn’t work.
Still, the story was written, and the narration was really, really different to what I usually write. To give you a sample:
White walls, red carpet, the smell of coffee and smoke in the air. A small apartment in the center of Canterlot, the end of the school year. The three ponies had been stuck in that neverending loop that final exams always bring —study six hours, rest four, study six hours, rest four, sleep eight, curse your teachers, rinse and repeat.
The blinds were closed; the clock, forgotten. Food was merely an afterthought, caffeine a necessity, and mental exhaustion the true enemy. Nothing mattered, except for studying. Concentration was the key. Relaxation, the way to get it.
Look at that bullshit. Look at it. The entire fic was narrated like that, and it was unreadable. I sent it to MrNumbers, and he was clear:
“You are… Okay you’re really trying, and that’s good. But yeah, this doesn’t work. This is boring. This is fucking boring. I kept skipping the narration and going for the dialogue, and the dialogue isn’t that interesting anymore. It’s pathetic. You’re pathetic. I hate you. You don’t deserve the blood that runs through your veins.”
Maybe he didn’t say those exact words, but the meaning was there. And I re-read the story, and… Yeah. It’s bad. It’s really bad.
But, dammit, I thought. I like the concept, somehow. Gotta work on this. But how…?
Enter MrNumbers, again.
You might notice lately I namedrop that bastard a lot. There’s a reason for that. You see, it’s literally impossible for me to write anything without whining about it to my friends. Problem is, if you haven’t noticed by the small bit after the break, I am a really annoying friend.
I measure friendship in how much I’m able to insult you without you being offended. That counts for my friends too, of course – so my pre-MrNumbers friends are absolutely tired of my bullshit. Sure, they’ll read my stuff (they’re friends but they started as fans, after all) but they won’t help me with it because seriously Aragón go to hell.
MrNumbers still hasn’t got to that point. Give him time. Until then, I can assure you all my stories will have some pre-production input from him.
In this particular case, two stories of him inspired Fridge Horror: Late Fees (it has a throwaway gag with an eldritch abomination named ‘Wiggles’, which inspired the abomination in my story – at one point, Vinyl refers to it as “Wiggles the Amazing Squid” as a wink to that), and The Mare Who Once Lived in the Moon.
Y’see, in that last story there’s a pony named Bright Spark. He’s a fucking asshole, which means I really like the character. I also loathe him, because that’s what I do with asshole characters. I asked Numbers if I could include that name in a story of mine and have something horrible happening to him, and he said oh yeah sure. Just tell me what you have in mind first.
This is where everything clicked.
Why was Bradbury Fic worse than Sandwich Fic? I mean, weak-ass narration and lack of jokes aside. I wasn’t pleased with the message behind it. Bradbury Fic lacked friendship.
Enter the Long Story Short, Things Went Down crew.
What I really like about those stories is that, well, they are about friendship. Friendship among horrible ponies, sure, but friendship nonetheless. If one of them is in trouble, the others will help. I like Chris’ reviews on those stories, because he got it the first time, and it’s always neat when people get this kind of stupidity:
Things Went Down is vulgar, aggressive, and foul-mouthed to the hilt. In addition to all that, it's unrelentingly funny. A lot of that humor comes from juxtaposing ponies and violence| (drugs, cursing, etc.), but what Aragon does that a lot of "shock fics" don't manage is to not just create settings and characters which are deliberate poor fits for Equestria, but which actually parody its mores and morals. This is, ultimately, a story about friendship; it just happens to be the kind of friendship "that make(s) you pee on the other when you see she's on fire--you're being as mean as possible, but you still try to fight the fire," as the fic puts it.
Ah-hah-hah. Me quoting that is so masturbatory.
This is a story that involves Carrot Top beating her ex-boyfriend with a giant golden dolphin dick, however, so don’t think it’s deep or anything. Still, that’s what I have in mind when I write LSSTWD stories.[2]
[2] Seeing how I’m already praising myself like there’s no tomorrow – Chris also liked Fridge Horror, for exactly the same reasons. Woo. I’m not a total failure!
Friendship. Also, asshole characters and a lot of cuss words. Really, those stories are mostly me pouring everything I like in a story. I don’t even try to hide it.
Using the LSSTWD crew in Bradbury Fic 2.0 would make it better, I thought. So when MrNumbers asked me what would happen to Bright Spark in a fic of mine, I replied “Octavia will fuck his parents out of spite.”
And thus, Fridge Horror was born.
I still lacked something, however. There’s a reason why I tried to write like Ray Bradbury at first – I feel like I’m getting too comfortable with my actual style. Sure, it’s nice to hear my friends describe a particular gag as “way too fucking Aragonish, you idiot”, but the fact that I’m not evolving is a reality. I consider Crime and Funishment to be the peak of my actual style. I want to move on a little bit.
It’s all about artistic development, I think. The natural thing to do is to get better, or at least to get different. So I’m trying to step out of my comfort zone, to prove myself, to force myself to learn how to do new things. Hence, Ray Bradbury.
But that didn’t work. So I thought: Terry Pratchett. Booyeah.
A sad note follows this fact. Pratchett died three days after I started this fic, and the news destroyed my will to write for a week or so. Pratchett was a hero of mine, a writer I always looked forward to, a very important figure in my childhood.
But eventually, you gotta finish what you start. And if I was going to say goodbye to PTerry, a story was as good a tribute as anything else. So I kept writing.
Continuing with the idea of me changing my style – is it a good thing? Well, I’ll try to show you guys the best thing I can create, that’s for sure. Maybe some of you won’t like it at first, but I’ll make sure to post stories in my old style too (because fuck it I spent five years working for that style, I won’t ditch it just like that), to even things out. So worry not.
Anyway – soon I discovered I had way too many characters to use the simple “important stuff in the background, insignificant stuff as the focus” angle. Plus, Derpy as the Chosen One was too hilarious to leave it like that.
That’s why I moved to a double-plot move. That also helped me interweave the stories better – what causes Vinyl’s plot is Derpy’s plot, after all.
And Vinyl’s plot? I’m happy with it. Derpy’s story was simple and exciting – she has to fight a monster, AND SHE KNOWS KUNG FU AND HAS A MAGIC SWORD FOR NO REASON HOW COOL IS THAT (SHAME SHE’S A PEGASUS BECAUSE OTHERWISE SHE SO WOULD HAVE GOTTEN A JETPACK) – but Vinyl’s story had to come from Scratch.
I eventually let the Bright Spark angle die, and used an original character instead (still named by MrNumbers, though) as the bad guy to Octavia’s story. And, hey, I still could use the “amazing story happens in the background” thing! I just didn’t use it with Derpy’s story.
Enter Turner and the Jewels of Friendship, featuring the rest of the LSSTWD crowd ‘cept for Octavia, because she’s busy with her life. At first Bon Bon and Carrot Top appeared too, but eventually I had to delete them. Mostly because:
A) Bon Bon dragged the story way too much.
B) I had trouble with Carrot Top’s plot, because at one point it was too similar to Lyra’s “I stab ponies” jokes.
So yeah, down with them. Sorry to their fans – in the next LSSTWD story, which I’m already writing, Top and Bon Bon have really prominent roles, so I’ll use that to make up for ya.
As per Turner’s story, by the way – it was supposed to be a knock-off of those insanely overcomplicated adventure fics that use McGuffins like there’s no tomorrow. I used to like those in my younger years (when MLP wasn’t even a thing), hence the passing mentions of worldbuilding (“The lizardfolk won’t let us get in the Temple!”) and Elements of Harmony knockoffs (“Jewels of Friendship”). Turner’s living an adventure fic by himself, but we’ll never know the exact details.
Oh, also – I finally managed to do something I’ve always wanted with this fic. Every time the narration refers to the eldritch abomination, I use a different name. I’ve always wanted to do that. Wooo.
While Fridge Horror is not my most popular story at all, I’m really happy with it, so screw popularity. One of the reasons why I like it so much is, again, the message: It’s about knowing what’s important, yes, but also about how friendship works… And about admiration.
I don’t know about you, but I admire my friends. Even if I’m being a dick to them – I do that ‘cause I’m a prick, but I still look up to them in a sense. In Fridge Horror, Vinyl doesn’t really care for Derpy saving the world, but the fact that she’s able to handle the rest of the gang so easily amazes her. Derpy turns into a hero in Vinyl’s mind, for absolutely the wrong reasons…
…Or are they the right reasons? That’s the question. Saving the world is important, but when you live in Equestria, maybe other things are more important.
It’s also about responsibility, as Derpy explains. However, Derpy doesn’t really acts as she should in that regard, because she doesn’t let Vinyl face her responsibilities on her own. Derpy is a hypocrite, and that’s her defining trait in my stories – there are many hints in Fridge Horror, if you look for them.
Meanwhile, Vinyl doesn’t give a damn about anything, and she runs away from her responsibilities. She knows what the problem is, but she either refuses to face it, or faces it in the absolutely worst way possible. That’s another defining trait of hers, and it’ll come back to bite her at one point.
‘Cause, yeah, the LSSTWD stories, while completely independent (you can read them in whatever order you want), have an arc, of sorts. The characters evolve, if only a little. I’m one of those folks who like continuity and little details.
Oh, and talking about continuity: you know what’s better than good proofreaders?
“Are you sure?” Vinyl arched an eyebrow [6] and adjusted her glasses. “Because, like, I’m working with empirical data here,” Vinyl said. “And you know what they say about empirical data.”
[6] Ponies have no eyebrows. It’s a mystery how they do that.
Octavia Harmony: FUCK YES. YOUR PONIES ARE ALWAYS ARCHING EYEBROWS WITHOUT HAVING ANY; ABOUT TIME YOU EXPLAINED THAT.
There was something interesting about Octavia—other ponies could be pretty, but she was breathtaking. Maybe it was the way she moved—flowing like oil in a pool of water—, maybe it was the way she talked—with a soft, sweet, sultry voice—, maybe it was the fact that she had, like, the greatest ass of them all.
TheMaskedFerret: Not as great as your own ass, am I right?
Good proofreaders who already know all my inside jokes. Those two comments made my day.
And… I think that’s all I gotta say about this story. Oh, well. I wonder if anybody read this entire thing. 3300 words – that’s a record for me!
See ya!
In case you're wondering: yes, I mess with my friends right before any exam, and I sing the Spongebob jingle. Every time. Every. Single. Time.
You see, I think studying mere minutes before the test is stupid and does nothing but confuse you. So I'm actually helping!
I also like making my friends as nervous as possible, because that's how I relax. Nothing worse than having that fucking jingle stuck in your head while trying to remember what was the formula you needed to solve this particular problem.
3013026 I happen to like studying right before the test, because it helps me. I find that annoying that you do that.
Also, variation to annoyance is key. Keeps them off their toys.
TRY ALL OF THE CATCHY SONGS!
I'll properly reply to this later, but I want to ask a question!
You're a fan of Ray Bradbury, right? So have you read Something Wicked this Way comes? (My personal favorite of his, you see!)
I prefer your stories. Do not get me wrong, your blogs are great and all, but do you really need more than one person masturbating you at a time? That is pretty selfish of you, you know.
And yes, I did read the entire thing. So apparently my hands are the perfect size to wrap comfortably around little Aragón.
"The only person I love more than myself is an alternative version of myself with a jetpack."
I like this line, it is a good line, and we shall call it ... this line.
I quite enjoy long fics but oneshots (and especially random ones like [1] Fridge Horror) are great for a break of a quick read. I say keep up with some verse stuff but you can still do short fics on the side for any randoms that come along.
Smells like a perfect sequal in the sandwich franchise.
And I like it. Keep going.
My condolences my Aragon. Haven't read any of that stuff but it's always a shame to see a great artist leave this world. Much like the writer for Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
*write. Unless stories has an alternate usage I'm not aware of.
static.fimfiction.net/images/avatars/81046_128.png?1419618304
[4]
[1] Alternate Title: Derpy makes a sandwich.
[2] I quote as I read. Deal with it.
[3] I see what you did there...
[4] Yes. That is Neko's avatar. He is a good reaction.
--Sollace
Yup, read it.
Is good.
For the sequel you should give us the story about the cultist who was trying to summon eldritch abominations and kept getting sandwiches. Not sure what the other problem in that one should be. Maybe her kid is having trouble with a school project?
The blog posts amuse me, but I do prefer your stories.
Was the whole THE PERFECT SANDWICH thing by any chance inspired by this?
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0e1au1JwQc]
3013059
While I have that book (ebook, rather), I haven't managed to read it yet. I'm reading another book of his (compilation of 100 stories) though. While I really admire the guy, I haven't read nearly as much of him as I would like. Martian Chronicles and some random short stories here and there, really.
3013371
Not really, no. I like Game Grumps, but I never really got into NSP -- and besides, while I use references now and then, I'll never use them as a major plot point. Feels cheep to me, I don't know.
It's nice to know I got it!
Also, while I like your original idea, I can't help but think it would be (/have been) better if Spike was trying to get all the main six to help him make the PERFECT SANDWICH, and none of them would help because they had to stop the world-destroying evil of the week. Then, as he dejectedly resigned himself to an IMPERFECT SANDWICH, the girls would all show up, tell him they realized they were being poor friends by putting the fate of Equestria before his lunchtime needs, and work together to make a PERFECT SANDWICH as Ponyville burned.
And then they'd fix it all with a magic rainbow and a
letter to the princessjournal entrywhatever they do these days, then promptly forget about it in favor of admiring Spike's now-completed PERFECT SANDWICH, because in Equestria defeating an ancient evil with the Magic of Friendship is no more remarkable than controlling the weather, and no less common.3018925
You can read Fridge Horror without knowing squat about LSSTWD, don't worry. Notice how Fridge Horror is not tagged as a sequel -- even previous knowledge on the characterizations is just a plus, anyway.
3013822
Hmm. I don't know, I think that version of Sandwich Fic would have been too on the nose for me. Way more similar to an actual episode (so I guess that a better fanfic, if we're going by the definition of the word), but I prefer my morals to be as vague an unespecific as possible, so people can focus on the comedy.
We have the show to bring letters to Celestia, and that's an awesome format, but it's better in a visual medium -- fanfiction is all about doing stuff the actual cartoon would never do. So for me, the message of the fic (it's not always a moral per se -- Today is a Good Day to Die is about mortality, but I don't really think what I tried to convey there was a moral) is important, but has to be hidden, always.
Plus, the style I tend to use doesn't mend well with clear, letter-to-the-princess morals. I always end up sounding way too preachy for my tastes.
But hey, if someone else wants to write that fic? I'm all for that. It would be interesting as hell.
Aragon, you're the only person who writes blogs so long that I need to spend several days reading them.
I love you too, you half-witted ass-gobbling shit-swimmer.
As above, but with less friendship.
3013392
I read that 100 stories compilation, or at least bits of it, over a decade ago. It made enough of an impression on me that I still remember.