So, Sometimes I Write Parodic Song Lyrics...

I found myself unusually inspired by the song "The Captain's Wife's Lament" (more specifically, this PMV of it). Although overall, it's still less bawdy than the original song, the third- and second-to-last verses have probably earned me a place in Pony Hell...

The Crystal Princess's Lament

Queen Chrysalis was starving
So she went and sallied forth
She brought all of her changelings
With her to the Frozen North

See, they knew the Crystal Heart
Stored all the love they’d need
At night they slipped right through the gates
And then began to feed

But they did not anticipate
How strong that love would be
They all got pickled, tickled pink
And lost sobriety

So when Good Princess Cadance woke
Upon the break of day
They say that you could hear her wailin’
Clear to Horseshoe Bay…

She said there’s
Changelings all around the bed
And in the palace halls
Changelings in the throne room
And they’re climbing up the walls!

There’s changelings in the marketplace
And changelings in the street
There’s changelings wedged into the holes
In other changeling’s feet!

There’s some disguised as unicorns
And some disguised as cheese
It seems to me these changelings
Show up where they damn well please

There’s changelings in the gallery
Disguised as modern art
For pony’s sake, there’s changeling slime
Upon the Crystal Heart!

There’s changelings in the ponies’ homes
And buzzing through the skies
If all these changelings got much worse
I’d not believe me eyes

One changeling looks like Twilight
But she’s acting quite risqué
She just now flashed our Sentry
And he’s fainted dead away!

Although I am Princess calm
‘Tis still a nasty shock
To wake and find the Changeling
Queen's lips on my husband’s

Now Chrysalis, I banish you
And so I must implore:
Please round up all your changelings and
Come round my way no more
Go round up all your changelings and
Come round my way no more!

Comments

[MysteriousJerk]

That was pretty rad.