The Great Obamaverse Revision

If you've been stalling on reading my stories, then luck is in your favor, because I've finally finished the great Obamaverse revision! I've gone through the entire Obamaverse series and fixed all the typos, plot holes, and awkward wordings I could find! It only took like what, three months? God, I'm starting to look forward to finishing this series and putting all this time into a real novel I can actually make money from. :(

There's quite a few minor retcons. In case anyone is actually trying to decipher the plot of that series, I've listed the most plot important ones below. The biggest change, though, is that the original Obama story now has an entirely new chapter, which includes more crazy Obama antics and some foreshadowing to some plot points in Obama Returns. I would recommend reading it.

And, the first chapter of Obama Returns should be coming to you soon. Please look forward to that.

Now, here's the incomplete list of important changes:

The Doctor Screws up Equestria

Nightmare Night

Old:

"Because me and my sister are the only immortals in this land."

New:

"Because I know all the immortals in this world."

Let's Kill Pinkie Pie

Added small subplot about the Doctor stealing hospital paperwork to improve pacing.

Cut the mental patient being the fugitive from the Nightmare Night chapter. That contradicted the timeline.

Old:

The door opened in two sections, was a bit impractical, and really had no equivalent in the spacefaring societies the two were familiar with,

New:

The door opened in two sections, was a bit impractical, and really had no equivalent in the spacefaring societies the Doctor was familiar with,

Rewriting the Past

Old:

"You know, what exactly does a rock farm do?" the Doctor said, poking some termite eaten wood on the side of the house.

Derpy shrugged. "Farm rocks, I guess."

"Yeah, but you don't farm rocks. They're just there."

"What if you run out of rocks?"

The Doctor scoffed. "The whole planet is a giant rock. You can't run out of rocks."

"Yeah you can."

"What?"

"Well, not on a planet," she said, "but let's say, just for the sake of example, you're stuck on a small moon for, hypothetically, a millennia or two…"

"…and you lost me."

New:

"You know, what exactly does a rock farm do?" the Doctor said, poking some termite eaten wood on the side of the house.

Derpy shrugged. "Farm rocks, I guess."

"Yeah, but you don't farm rocks. They're just there."

"What if you run out of rocks?"

The Doctor scoffed. "The whole planet is a giant rock. You can't run out of rocks."

"Yeah you can."

"What?"

"Well, what if a bunch of the natural processes got messed up or something?" Derpy said. "You'd have some rocks erode into dust, but there'd be no new ones to replace them, right?"

The Doctor looked back in horror. "I'm not sure where you learned geology, but a world would have to be pretty screwed up to reach anything even approaching that state."

And Then There Were Two

Old:

"I got sent to that world once. But it was an accident. It screwed me up. I had no memories, and my body had regressed. A human there took care of me. We grew close, but eventually, Celestia and my friends found me and came. I had to choose between him and home. I chose home.

New:

"I got sent to that world once. But it was an accident. It screwed me up. I had no memories, and my body had regressed. A human there took care of me. We grew close, but eventually, Celestia and my friends came to fetch me. I don't even want to think about what they did in that world before they found me, but anyway, they gave me a choice. I had to choose between him and home, so I chose home, and said goodbye.

My Little Doctor

Old:

"Now," the Doctor said, "I've moved us a little closer that location. I want you to stick your horn out there and emit some strong A-level magic."

Lyra looked at him like he was nuts. "A-level magic?"

The Doctor looked worried. "Didn't you learn the Pratchett magic system in school?"

"The who magic system?"

The Doctor ruffled a hoof through his hair. "Okay, well, let me think…" He tried to think back to when his body was a unicorn's, and tried to think of an A-level spell she would already know. "Do you know any… transmutation spells?"

"Oh! Oh! I can turn water into blood!" she said, then realized how strange that must have sounded. "For… reasons."

"No, it's okay. I'm sure every unicorn learns that spell at some point," the Doctor lied. "Now do that to the spot where the rift is."

Lyra looked at him. "But I don't want to turn anything into blood here."

"Don't worry, you don't have to. Just focus on emitting a similar kind of energy," the Doctor said. Lyra looked confused, but she nodded again, and looked outside. "And… now."

New:

"Now," the Doctor said, "I've moved us a little closer that location. I want you to stick your horn out there and emit some strong A-type magic."

Lyra looked at him like he was nuts. "A-type magic?"

The Doctor looked worried. "Didn't you learn runes in school?"

"What, like those ancient scribbly things on temples and stuff?"

The Doctor ruffled a hoof through his hair. "No, no… it's like a circuit, no, a stored procedure… no, wait, that doesn't… it's a system where anyone can draw these circles and things, and if you get them just right… okay, well, let me think…" He tried to think back to when his body was a unicorn's, and tried to think of an A-type spell she would already know. "Do you know any… transmutation spells?"

"Oh! Oh! I can turn carbonated drinks into griffon blood!" she said, then realized how strange that must have sounded. "For… reasons."

"No, it's okay. I'm sure every unicorn learns that spell at some point," the Doctor lied. "Now do that to the spot where the rift is."

Lyra looked at him. "But I don't want to turn anything into blood here."

"Don't worry, you don't have to. Just focus on emitting a similar kind of energy," the Doctor said. Lyra looked confused, but she nodded again, and looked outside. "And… now."

Soarin's Folly

Chapter 9

Replaced all instances of "man" with "stallion." One of my prereaders thought that was foreshadowing to something. It wasn't.

Obama Goes to Equestria

In General

Reworded tons, way more than the other stories.

Added about 20% more Obama bashing. (Happy? HAPPY!?)

Replaced most instances of Derpy with Ditzy, to suit the Doctor story.

Mysterious Energy signal

Old:

Twilight, Rarity, and Spike, the last remaining heterosexuals, apparently, watched in fear and amazement.

New:

Twilight, Rarity, and Spike, likely the only heterosexuals for at least a couple miles, watched in fear and amazement.

Slideshow

Cut redundant scene of Twilight asking Obama if he was a Muslim. The Rainbow Dash chapter handles this better.

Old:

"Why didn't you mention alicorns earlier, when you were talking about the pony types?" Obama asked, poring over the slide.

"Good question," Twilight said. Not many of the humans were this curious. "It's because they're very uncommon, and becoming one is quite painful. It also requires a lot of magical energy. From what we've heard, the process can even affect your world."

Obama stiffened. "Affect our world?"

"Oh, well, it's nothing big, it just creates some controversy in a… very specific group of people," Twilight said, wishing to avoid the subject. "Apparently people who watch the TV show of us in your world think it's 'a cheap plot twist' or something."

New:

"Why didn't you mention alicorns earlier, when you were talking about the pony types?" Obama asked, poring over the slide.

"Good question," Twilight said. Not many of the humans were this curious. "It's because they're extremely uncommon, and becoming one is almost impossible. Trust me, you won't run into many alicorns, but when you do, you'll know what to do."

"And that is?"

"Submit blindly."

Old:

"Live in Ponyville!" Pinkie Pie yelled, ruining the dramatic moment. "I've been to that human town, and it's suuuuper boring!"

New:

"Live in Ponyville!" Pinkie Pie yelled, ruining the dramatic moment. "I've been to that human town, and it's suuuuper depressing!"

The Doubt

Moved the rainbow factory scene back here, where it belongs. It is now gone from the CMC chapter.

Rarity

Old:

"Let me in! I'm telling you! It's important!"

"Really, Derpy," Rarity said. "Do you really think I'd buy that after you've tried to break into my house at least 20 times?"

"Just let me in! The fate of multiple timelines lies in the balance!"

New:

"Rarity! Let me in! I'm telling you! It's important!"

"Really, Derpy," Rarity said. "Do you really think I'd buy that after you've tried to break into my house at least 20 times?"

"Ditzy."

"What?"

"My name," Ditzy said, "is Ditzy."

"With those eyes? I don't think so."

"Oh, nevermind. Just let me in! The fate of the universe lies in the balance!"

Journey

Finally separated this out into a new chapter, as it was originally intended to be. Contains one scene fairly important to the big plot of the series. Read it.

Derpy

Retconned a lot of Ditzy's dialogue to better match the Doctor story.

Pinkie Pie

Old:

"I… I don't… I think…" Not many diseases were around in Equestria anymore. "It could be gangrene, but I haven't heard of that existing for hundreds of years…"

New:

"I… I don't… I think…" Not many diseases were around in Equestria anymore—at least not unless they had been royally whitelisted. "It could be gangrene, but I haven't heard of that existing for hundreds of years…"

Scootaloo

Old:

"And your blood?"

"I found more."

New:

"And your blood?"

"It came back."

Old:

Did people think she had a good sex life or something? Because she didn't! How much did they think a single librarian got, anyways!? I mean, yeah, maybe she was somewhat attractive, but it didn't do any good in this town, where the best she could hope for was mares hitting on her!

New:

Did people think she had a good sex life or something? Because she didn't! How much did they think a single librarian got, anyways!? The best she could hope for was Celestia severely invading her personal space, which just didn't cut it.

Old:

Then everything whited out. She was in a void. Six stones that looked older than the universe itself surrounded her. They started spinning, faster and faster and faster and faster until…

New:

Then everything whited out. She was in a void, completely empty aside from a cryptic design. Five spheres, all interconnected in a web of lines. One was empty, and another was rapidly dismantling itself, tearing parts of the web apart. Somehow, it felt wrong, and scared her beyond recognition. She screamed out, and reached at it, but…

At the Gala

Old:

"Would you believe I had to go through five students before they didn't admit to everything as soon as I asked that? Good thing I sent them to other dimensions before they could do any real damage. Well, anyways," Celestia said with a segue as forced as Obama and Twilight's romantic tension

New:

"Would you believe I had to go through five students before they didn't admit to some horrible assassination plot as soon as I asked that? Good thing I put them in the dungeon before they could do any real damage. So, anyway," Celestia said with a segue as forced as Obama and Twilight's romantic tension

Inspiration

Old:

"Did you come all the way down here just to tell me that?" Rarity asked.

"No."

"Then why?"

"Because I'm a masochist."

Rarity blinked.

"What would you do if I told you," she said, "that I laced this tea with laxatives?"

"I would believe you."

"Aphrodisiacs?"

"I'm desperate enough."

"Male hormones?"

"You're not even thinking outside the box," Twilight said. "Celestia's top student, remember?"

"What did they teach you, how to lace drinks?"

"Let's just say when Celestia gives you a drink, you check it first. I usually didn't."

Rarity reeled. "So you're really—"

"Stupid? Yes. Now immune to laxatives? Yes. A masochist? Probably."

Rarity started to reach for something, but Twilight stopped her. "No, I don't want a whip."

"But—"

"I like psychological torment better. I can probably blame Celestia for that, too."

Rarity thought about it for a bit. "Celestia, Celestia, Celestia… You're here because you can't think of anything to raise the sun, aren't you?"

"You catch on quick."

New:

"Did you come all the way down here just to tell me that?" Rarity asked.

"No."

"Then why?"

"Because I'm a masochist."

Rarity blinked. "Excuse me?"

"I never committed suicide like the rest of Celestia's special students," Twilight said, "and I'm here with you, so what other explanation is there?"

Rarity thought about it for a bit. "Celestia, Celestia, Celestia… You're here because you can't think of anything to raise the sun, aren't you?"

"You catch on quick."

(The old scene has been moved to the deleted scenes chapter.)

The Mole

Cut Fluttershy damning thousands of souls in different dimensions.

Old:

"But… couldn't you at least wind it up with magic?"

"I tried. Magic appears to interact strangely with this type of energy." She looked to the left. "Remember that wall?"

"What are you talking about?" Rainbow Dash said. "That's always been there."

"Not if you've time traveled, like me. Look at this." Twilight produced photographs of the gang in the library, the wall clearly absent.

New:

"But… couldn't you at least wind it up with magic?"

"I tried. Magic appears to interact strangely with this type of energy." She looked to the left. "Remember that wall?"

"What are you talking about?" Rainbow Dash said. "That's always been there."

"Apparently not. Look at this." Twilight produced photographs of the gang in the library, the wall clearly absent.

Rainbow Dash stared at the photos, then the wall. "Okay, you're right, that's weird."

"And I'm pretty sure I locked a fruit fly in some kind of infinite time loop," Twilight said, looking at a fly that was repeatedly flying in the same pattern over and over and over.

"Huh," Rainbow Dash got out.

Epilogue

Expanded castle descriptions a bit to improve pacing.

Old:

"No, and that's part of it," Celestia said. "I was baking cookies one day, put a little too much magic into the oven, and then she came out." She looked concerned. "All I know is she doesn't die, is made of cotton candy, can bend reality, and if you don't chop parts off her every once in a while, she gets moldy. If anything could kill me, it's her."

"Do you know what happens if you let her get moldy?"

A look of utter horror entered Celestia's eyes. "You don't want to do that, trust me."

The ponies shivered. Pinkie Pie laughed, maybe nervously, no one could tell.

New:

"No, and that's part of it," Celestia said. "She just came out of my oven one day. No idea how or why. She's immortal, but not like me. Not like me at all." She turned to Pinkie Pie. "Which brings me to my first order of business. Pinkie Pie, do what you please. Just stay the buck away from me. And try not to mess up space-time too much, okay?"