Present Perfect vs. Lost and Found · 5:33pm Mar 14th, 2015
At long last! I cut short the audiobook I've been mentioning for literally months, and I can now tell you that it was Lost and Found by Cloudy Skies, read by Thornquill! (Also DrWh0oves!)
It's not a hugely important fandom classic, but according to a comment I saw on it, it was in the featured box once, so good enough I guess. Mostly, I just honestly want to fight this story. >:B So click below the break to find out what happens when you mix shipping and Off the Edge of the Map-style adventure, and why I hated my life for the past few weeks. Be warned, there will be spoilers, but if you can't tell, I wasn't too pleased by this story.
The main problem with Lost and Found is one of branding. It bills itself a Flutterdash spread across the aforementioned OTEOTM adventure, with a healthy dose of "the Hearth's Warming story isn't what they thought it was!" And it does include those elements, the last one thinly so. Unfortunately, it's also a Twilestia fic, and this fact is why I come away from it feeling betrayed. But let's start at the start, shall we?
It starts out surprisingly unassumingly, with Fluttershy simultaneously being consumed by and trying to avoid the contents of a mysterious letter through a spa visit. Things quickly take a turn for the slice of life, with a mane six slumber party. A ritual spurred on by Applejack's noticing of Fluttershy's odd behavior leads to Twilight fucking up a spell, and...
Man, when's the last time you saw a fic where Twilight fucked up a spell? :D Welcome to 2012! The trope's been as derided as "Rainbow Dash loses her wings", but to be honest, I kind of miss it. It was nice to see again, like stopping to give change to a dirty hobo on the street only to realize you knew them in high school before shuffling awkwardly away. Maybe that's just me.
Anyway, this is what starts the main conflict. Twilight and Rarity are teleported to the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash end up in Cloudsdale, and Fluttershy and Applejack find themselves in a ruined earth pony town at the dawn of Equestrian history, proving that Cloudy knows his G1 lore.
From this point, the comparisons to Off the Edge of the Map begin, and generally not in this story's favor. It's not until Fluttershy and AJ reach the Bazaar at the story's midpoint that it really comes into its own as an adventure. The writing is good because it's Cloudy Skies, and even his worst is far better than most, but it's distinctly not his best, full of close word repetition and pet phrases (I never want to read about a pony rolling their jaw ever again). There's a lot of LUS, which honestly gets more lavender as the story goes (from "the fashionista" and "the pegasus" to your more standard color/race combinations). You can't go wrong with lines like “The darkness shifted without sun or wind to pull the strings of their surroundings,” though.
For the most part, I'd say it's good, though, and at its best during intense, emotional scenes of two characters yelling at each other, though this only happens in about the first third or so. Characterization should be inferred as a strong point as well, with Fluttershy slowly growing over the course of the adventure, and any other scene with a character acting seemingly uncharacteristically aggressive having tons of deep character exploration to back it up. There are a lot of scenes like that, meaty and worth analyzing. I will say that Applejack was oddly intellectual during the whole thing, not just planning, but theorizing and expounding at length about a great many things. It was odd if only because she was essentially filling Twilight's role the whole time, with a scant two major scenes where her strength or endurance come into play. If anyone was a standout, though, it's Pinkie, who stole every scene she was in with at least one phenomenally funny quip. This is also the only fic I've ever read that passes the Zecora Test without actually featuring her at any point. (It passes the Luna Test, too!)
If there's one major problem with the writing, it would be length. This story is too long. They're placed so ludicrously far away from Equestria, it's no wonder it takes them months and months to get home, but given that a later sequence has them going from "we can barely see the Badlands" to "hey, it's Equestria!" in a single page, I have to wonder why certain segments went on for as long as they did. I was also confused by the lack of back and forth. There would be three "Lost" chapters in a row followed by three "Ponyville" chapters, about the rest of the mane cast trying to figure out what to do about their missing friends. Why the chapters weren't intercut more I will not understand unless Cloudy decides to come back and tell me. (I miss him. :() There's lots of dead space in what amounts to a walking tour of the world at large, and I often found myself wondering what more of the story there was to tell. Just get them home already! There's also a bad habit of belaboring points, and a couple spots, like figuring out the prince's motives, where the answer seemed obvious to me but it took the characters forever to figure things out.
If you're here for the shipping, it's a slow burn. It's chapter 8 before anything even mildly shippy appears, unless you're in the habit of reading into characters' actions. Same goes for the adventure, as I've already said; the first scene that made me stand up and take notice was when they find the hall where the leaders of the three tribes met in the HWE story. As for the historical revisionism angle, well, a lot of the time, it felt like a diversion from the "real" quest to get home. And when the big reveal happens? I felt like I was missing something. It just seemed the kind of thing that would slot into the 'real' story of Hearth's Warming, rather than a big huge secret that would shock anyone who knew it. I'm not even sure I can pinpoint just what the reveal even was, but that's likely my fault for not paying too close attention.
(I want to take a moment to mention what might be my favorite thing from this story: Fluttershy's parents. They only show up in a couple scenes, but I love the way they were written. Plus, her mom is Posey, and she's an earth pony who lives in Cloudsdale thatisjustamazingsquee :D:D:D)
One other thing worth noting: if you came into this with no apprehension of what you were getting into, you could be forgiven for thinking this would end up being a Flutterjack with Rainbow Dash left on the wayside. It's never gone into really, and probably not even intentional, but I am in the habit of reading into characters' actions, and there was a TON of UST between the two of them. Maybe it was just because ponies in Cloudy's world are (rightly, as I see it) very affectionate with one another: they're constantly touching, nuzzling, cuddling, and of course they sleep together because conservation of warmth. But I really got the sense that AJ was kind of pining for Fluttershy and not putting voice to the feelings because once they got back, Fluttershy had her eye on RD and Applejack is just that good a friend. So maybe it's just me, but it did add an extra layer to an already bold and surprising ship (I mean the whole "shipping at a distance" thing).
All right, elephant time. The Twilestia comes out of left field and pretty much ruins the last half of the story. :| And even if not for my unrelenting, seething hatred of the pairing, I would still have been disappointed. It's not on the label. I came here for FlutterDash with a side order of Flutterjack, but when looked at at a certain angle, it becomes clear that the whole "send Fluttershy and Applejack to the ends of creation and have them walk back" plot was just to give Twilight enough gumption to get over herself because she saw Celestia fall to Chrysalis at the wedding and that just broke her widdle heart. >:( Please. Teasing us with Flutterdash the entire story only to have Twilight's love be what saves the day was, I thought, a really poor move, and it felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. Not to mention that Twilight honestly has no reason to reciprocate in the first place and “I read that in a book once” season 2 Twilight thinks Celestia is in love with her and everyone’s just assuming she’s right? Please. :|
Then there's Brighthoof, a unicorn researcher who got his ass lost and killed out in the place where Flutters and AJ wind up. He gets mentioned a whole lot because they find one or more of his journals (and I definitely wasn't paying close enough attention, because I can't remember half of the stuff he figured out), and eventually ends up being the villain of the piece. Sort of. AJ, in one of her oddly insightful moments, realizes that all the obstacles that have been standing in their way have to have been orchestrated (honestly, beyond the book, I don't see how she came to that conclusion), and when it was revealed to be him, I pretty much pitched a fit. It was such a lame twist, I can't even describe why it affected me that way. And then to have him save Celestia by playing the bad guy at the end? It ties enough into the Twilestia that I can't really sort my feelings for either plot element out properly, but there wasn't much about him that I liked.
I wrote down a bunch of notes, time to spill them all out. The mention of tribal ponies during Celestia's aborted attempt to go after the two (talk about a waste of time) kept me interested in the last third or so, but they ended up not being nearly as interesting as I'd hoped they'd be. The fox was a good character. Twilight was fairly realistic about her part in the shipping, at least up until the end. The Spire and the Bazaar are both really excellent scene pieces, and I kind of wish they had stories to stand in by themselves instead. The ‘coming home’ scene was very anticlimactic because takes too much time was spent setting up; Rainbow Dash’s actual reaction to seeing Fluttershy is great, but by that point we’ve had too much time to think about it as we watch the train roll in. And of course, the "Celestia won't wake up" subplot only serves to lengthen the story further.
In the end, I upvoted this for one reason: the resolution to the Flutterdash plot, pushed to the curb though it may be, was terribly satisfying. When it comes to the ways in which they react to each other, Rainbow is written perfectly and it really reminded me why I like this ship. Ultimately, though, I find myself horrendously disappointed by the way this story played out, and I'm not really sure who I'd recommend it to.
2.5/5
As much to hate as to like, and not Cloudy's best.
So, which of Cloudy's stories would you recommend?
Where Your Heart Is. You'll want to read Where Earth Meets Sky first, as it's in the same continuity and sets out the character relationships, and it is followed up with Where They Are Joined.
Cloudy may like the shipping. :3
Checks out. I only have 6 of the chapters complete and a few more of cloudy's one shots read but not upvoted. Still haven't finished the celestiaXpinkie fic i like tho.
2876461
I like the way you think. Turns out, I haven't actually read too much of his stuff. :B
I apparently liked Rainbow Dash's Best Plan Ever, but I couldn't tell you anything about it. :B
His most recent story, Taken for Granite, I helped edit, and I liked it quite a lot. :D
His big story is Within and Without, but I don't know much about it. :B There's a start for ya though!
2876693 Thank ya.
Hmn. It's been in the black hole of my RIL for a while now, but given this review I think I'll take it out. Working through such a long story for it to end up at Twilestia would really irritate me as well.
Which, now that I think about it, is probably why Green has been irritating so much in the last dozen or so chapters.
2876708
...Oh don't tell me Green goes Twilestia. ;_; I've been wanting to read that forever.
2876765 Would telling you the ship is really TwiPieLestia, and that in truth whether it will actually set sail is still up in the air help? The actually launched ship is TwiPie, and in blunt honesty I have no good things I can say about it either (Pinkie is based on what is IMO the worst bits of characterization she ever gets in the show, and my dislike for her naivety knows no bounds). I think I'm a chapter behind, though, so maybe everything got better while I wasn't looking. *shrug*
The overall focus of the story is Flarity and that part remains fun, there are just lots of side ships that go in various directions.
I wondered this for a while: what is the Zecora Test, and what is the Luna test? I've seen you mention these before, but my attempts to find out are never successful.
2876765
maybe if you stopped hating good things, you'd be less mad all the time :V
2876693
I liked Within and Without with a passion if it helps (also that one's chiefly TwiLuna if I recall correctly, and develops them properly).
2876825
I have no feelings on threesomes. c.c
2876949
Zecora Test:
WRITE IN FUCKING RHYMES AND DON'T FUCK UP
Luna Test:
WRITE IN FUCKING EARLY MODERN ENGLISH AND DON'T FUCK UP
:V
2877262
no u
2877574
Especally if it's season 1 Luna, I'm all over TwiLuna. :D
2877867
What do you call it if you write in early modern English in rhyme and don't fuck up?
2878782 The horizon test?
2878898
Oh you.
2878782
Actually, yeah, gonna go with 2878898 .
Well, I just added this to my list. I was under the impression that Cloudy had never done any twilestia and it made me sad. Now that you've revealed the hidden gem through the power of your seething rage, I can read it!