Jul
4th
2012
On Rose's internal thoughts in Character Development · 5:20am Jul 4th, 2012
To put it simply: How do you folks feel about them as a whole? Should they stay or should they go?
The EqD pre-reader (see previous blog post) said that they should be taken out because they sound unnatural and ruin the immersion. However, I feel like it would take a little something away from the story if I did that.
Now, to clarify, I do agree that they sound unnatural. A lot of them don't sound like something somepony would say in the moment. I just don't know if I should
A) Remove them completely, or
B) Edit them so that they sound more natural.
Right now I'm leaning towards B, but I'm not entirely sure if it's the best way to proceed, and it's ground my editing down to a standstill.
What do you guys think?
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GreyCapstan · 150 views
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If you're wholly unwilling to remove them, I suggest you rewrite them to insure that hey mesh with the rest of of the narrative. the pre-reader should come to understand.
i kinda like em. i say B
Well, I think I already established my thoughts that they were absolutely necessary. There's a few that can be swapped out without much trouble, but for the most part the fic would lose a lot of it's charm if we weren't right there in Rose's head the entire time.