Ever had one of those moments... · 1:38am Dec 17th, 2014
...where life around you seems to pause?
When you've been so stressed about stuff in your life... not obvious things, or maybe including the obvious things. Over worked, too many things on your plate, not moving up fast enough, not finding better options fast enough, not enough money, not enough food, not enough time... come back from work, too tired to sleep; too tired to eat. When coffee is your only diet for 14 hours. When you stare morosely at a screen, when you feel a chapter should be done, a story started, an arc finished. When payments are due, when timelines are missed, when your boss's boss is spending the whole of the next day breathing down your neck, when you feel like going out for a drink, when you shouldn't have a drink, when a drink sounds like too much effort. When you wish you were chatting or hanging out with friends. When you are not chatting or hanging out with friends and the idea is at both times exciting and draining. When you wish you had a special someone. When the most important person in your life is not around enough. When you know it's sometimes for the best. When you know it could get worse. When you realize that you've got too much to lose, and yet nothing to lose, really.
And then suddenly... you're calm. Detached. The world took a deep breath and it's holding it in.
What will follow? A cacophony of doom? The oxymoronic sense that life is beyond your reach just as you grab on to it desperately? More misuse of commas and the regretful emptiness that semi-colons on my keyboard might be feeling right now?
I just expect the world to sneeze and wipe everything into chaos. Maybe things will make sense then.
... Damn it! I'm too tired to go this deep man. Now my brain hurts. But yes, I get what you're saying. Usually it comes in the form of, "I'll never get to see this particular moment ever again" for me. You blink and you miss it, and it really strikes me just how limited of a time we have on this lonely little rock in the ever expanding expanse of matter. Then I remember that there are people out there that care for me and wish me the best. The things I'm capable of, the never ending possibilities! That makes it all worth it.
Never forget, we are here to change the world for someone. Whether it be here on this site, at work, or you crazy new invention in your basement. Shoot, it can be the simple expression of care or love for someone. We are changing the world for somebody in some shape or form.
Hang in there, we are all in it together, for better or for worse.
Req out~
I think that's pretty much the best way to describe it right there.
I've been through so many crises in my lifetime (deaths of family members, loss of my right eye, that one moment in May 2012 where I tried to give up on life) that I know this kind of moment very well. I think. It's...different for everyone, really.
Sometimes the world just gives you a break. Sometimes it says, "You know, I've been a real b
tch lately, and you've been a good sport, so here you go: a breather."
Other times, it's just a moment of calm before the inevitable return of the storm.
Because when it comes down to it, life really is a b
tch.
TIL Wanderer D blazes dank kush
This is the calm right before you reach complete understanding of the world.
Which is immediately followed by the world you know being recreated in a more obscure fashion so that no-one can gain aforementioned understanding.
It isn't the first time this has happened, and looking around it kinda shows
You, my friend, need to read some Albert Camus.
2658339 I feel ya, bro.
Tried killing myself at eight years old because I thought no one loved me, and that I was useless, a waste of space. Jumped off a three storey house, hit the bushes just off to the side of the concrete walkway to our front door. Got up, stumbled around the side of the house, in the back door, up the stairs, back into my room-- not thinking, really, almost like I was holding my breath the entire time, and I slumped down in front of the open window just in time to watch the milkman drive up, walk past the bush I'd landed in without a glance towards it, dropped off our milk, and left. I felt so small after that, like the world really wouldn't have noticed if I'd died. In anime, and even some TV shows, when an important character is in danger or dies, others feel it before they even get told. They look up to the sky as birds cry out and the world falls silent. The world wouldn't have noticed if I'd died that day, not really. I realized that, saw how terrible and cold the world was, and laughed until I cried, put the window screen back in place, and crawled into my closet for the rest of the night, unable to sleep. Hiding from the cold. The next day, I went to school, smiled and laughed and talked with the kids who usually hated me, had people ask why I was scratched up and bruised, and said my cat attacked me and I fell down the stairs; it wasn't a big deal.
I still smile and laugh to this day, but there are times when I read something sad and I don't bat an eye, or I see something scary, and all I feel is bored. Sometimes I feel dead inside, but then I meet up with a friend I haven't seen in a while. Sit down, and just talk. Or I see something that's sad, where the show or book doesn't try to milk it, and doesn't try to tell you to feel sad, it's just sad because that's the way life is.
At those points, I smile through the tears, and relish in the way my heart aches. I revel in the way my blood boils when I get mad, and I find peace when I'm alone and can't even hear myself think. The world is cold, there's no denying it. But like snow and ice formations, it's a wondrous and beautiful thing to behold. So despite being blind in my left eye, I'm still kinda... content. Not exactly happy, but I feel like I'm no longer able to fall lower in life. I probably could, I doubt living in a three-storey house is rock-bottom, but I'm hopeful, and looking forward to getting a job, and being able to keep living as I am.
I also can't wait to get glasses so I can drive on my own again...
The exhale. Whether it'll be a shove toward rock bottom or the visage of Bette Midler is a dice roll.
Sometimes chaos offers perspective, so at least a total loss isn't a complete waste.
Hmmmmmmmm.... nah. Can't say I have.
Life is change. Change is constant. But life isn't constant. Life is constant change...
...
... I'm spewing nonsense.
Anyway, no. But if that's what you feel like, then you have my empathy, because that would suck.
The feeling of waiting. Waiting for something big to happen. Something grand to come and change everything.
But also hoping that it stays peaceful, as it is right now.
I'd take a step back from the proverbial "sneeze-radius" and look at things objectively to try and figure out just how important all those seemingly dire things are. You may find you're blowing things a little out of proportion.
I felt that way just last week. What you need is a day to yourself where you do nothing but curl up in a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate and watch cartoons and vines. Maybe draw something. and above all, GET SOME SLEEP. If you have a cat, spend some time with it.
Life is about finding the eye of the storm and staying in it as long as possible.
Sometimes a Smile Smile Smile,
Just isn't enough.
Sometimes you beg for a hand
and the World says "Tough".
Sometimes the sky falls up,
and the ground flies down.
Then the waves crash in and
you think you'll drown.
Sometimes the earth is cold,
and hard at night.
And the bitter loneliness,
Don't ever feel right.
One day you'll go a week without
A soul in sight.
And the dark stretches ever on,
Skirting the only light.
When necessary effort's
Beyond your reach,
And shipwrecked life's
Left you on the beach.
It may seem meaningless,
Pointless,
Fruitless.
Better to give up,
fall down,
cash out,
simply drown...
But its not.
Darkness wants you but don't you dare
Give demons their due.
Shrug your shoulders at the void,
There's worse you've been through.
You've struggled so hard,
You've come a long way.
You've paved over your worries
And tread your troubles at bay.
The world's kind of crazy,
There are ups and downs.
But hold on this roller coaster,
And it'll all come around.
The calm the storm makes
will shatter
Then the storm breaks
And twists and tears apart,
Leaving time
To see your heart-
Get back to start-
Dance past Go and collect your
Two Hundred Bucks
You're down on your luck,
But if you truck and truck
You'll outlast the coming fury,
Your clinging sorrows and your helpless worry
Burn out, leaving you clean and pure,
Your troubles look smaller and fewer.
You can make this, man,
So swagger up and take a can
Of Extra Gas
To get you past
The darkness of the night,
You're shining bright,
You're gonna be a shining story,
Shovin' the demons that make you sorry.
A man in need,
for his family will bleed,
Ain't that the seed
Of something beautiful?
-Sacrifice memorable,
most admirable
nev'r pitiful.
When the world comes crashing down,
You're rising up,
With a raging sound,
You will astound.
Pushing ahead with leap and bound,
Canter and step
To the rhythm of a fresher beat
You're quite a treat,
Some may say you're wheat,
But you're rye, the richest of the breads
Your words are turning heads,
You have a voice-
When you make a choice-
It matters more than you know
You shake the flow
Shut down your woe.
So take the drink,
Slam the bottle,
Rev the new story
Hit arcs full throttle.
When your boss's boss
Breathes down your should'r
And you face the dragon's breath
You're getting much bolder.
So hit up those friends,
You saw once in a while,
Spin them your story,
Try to make them smile.
I'm not saying it's simple,
Or quick as can be.
But if it's you, you can do it!
You're fucking Wanderer D!
Variance happens. The more we learn, the more we are challenged by new problems. The more challenges we overcome, the more we learn. They say Death and Taxes are the only constants in life; in my humble opinion, the steady increase in personal capacity and talent is the only constant in life. And so life marches onward in this physical world.
"O SON OF BEING! Busy not thyself with this world, for with fire We test the gold, and with gold We test Our servants." -Baha'u'llah, the Hidden Words
While this quote is dressed in religious imagery, what else do you think it means?