Post Posting Follow-up · 12:41am Oct 3rd, 2014
Whew, okay, got another one out. Yeah, yeah, you already knew that. It feels so good to actually give you all something to chew on. It doesn't feel like the most exciting chapter though I'm probably not in a very good place to judge - I am the one looking at it day after day.
Feeling that way over the past few days has made me think a lot about this story as a whole. I know I'm wordy and have a tendency to put nearly too much into each chapter, and it makes me worry about how the story appears to new people. The word count versus how far its progressed feels excessive even if I am trying to do a lot more with this story than I see in most others. So I've been batting around the idea of going back through from the beginning and trying to edit it down again to try and make it better. What does everyone think? Does it feel appropriate as a Slice of Life dealing with the initial stages of first contact, or does it feel bogged down by minutiae?
I know I will never have the perfect story, but I keep feeling like I can do so much better.
Speaking of changes to TLaP: the current chapter features a rather large one based on readers' feedback. Quite a while ago someone mentioned being afraid that Craig would just come across as an asshole. I realized that my initial plan for the last chapter and this one would definitely make him one. I was going to have him actually come home with Cassie, which would have been in direct conflict with both Alex' wishes and common sense - making Craig nothing more than a jerk. I think it's a much better chapter the way it is now.
And see? I do care a lot what everyone thinks! (And I am almost constantly considering how to balance the criticism of Alex' internalization with how I plan for the story to go.)
In other news, I'm approaching 1000 likes. I'm going to have to do something for it, aren't I? More art maybe? Hmmmmmm.
Also, given the plethora of random story ideas that keep popping into my head - and also the detail that some will go into - I want to know how everyone would feel about an occasional blog post telling these half-done stories that would otherwise just collect at the bottom of my user page. Want to know what exactly I had planned for Vaiael and Equestria in "The Week of Nightmares"? How would you like to see all the thoughts I'm still having about "...And this is my Demon"?
Some of them would be pretty extensive and would take time to assemble (I'm looking at you, Fallout Equestria: Broken), but I don't have the time to turn them into full stories. I'm not sure I want to because that would mean doing these as well as TLaP, but I spend enough time procrastinating that I could certainly make time for them.
I think my Read Later list is trying to tell me something...
Eh, maybe just tone the wordiness down a TEENSY bit. Like, when Alex starts getting hung up in bouts of circular dilemmas, I begin to gloss over paragraphs until things start happening. I do the same thing with some of the 'Rosy Stripes' internalization in First Pony View. It's all about balancing internal conflict with progress, IMO.
That's just me though... and I am the same guy that did a marathon week of Diaries of a Madman a month or two back, so I'm not that great of a judge.
Incidentally, if you want to do a random story idea... You could always write a Spin-off of The Alchemist's Heart where maybe Silver saw that Aqua was a damaged mare when they first met.
I'd suggest finishing the story before going back and paring down the word count. You'll probably end up making adjustments to the plot and characters when you go back, and if you wait until the end you'll have a better idea of how to balance the personalities of Craig and Alex based on the criticisms you received.
Honestly... I kind of like it the way it is. I mean, yes, it IS wordy, and a bit repetitive at times with thought processes, reactions, etc, but at the same time, that's helping it be that much more REAL. You're doing your best to show us the WHOLE day, which is very important, I think. Lots of other authors, myself included, tend to like time skips, since they're just, well... Easy. I LIKE that you're showing the nitty gritty 'boring' stuff, as it helps it be more realistic to me. Granted, I REALLY want the plot to get moving/move faster, but at the same time...
Not sure. I did like how you managed to balance Craig a bit better this chapter, though.
2502455
Oh, you are eeeeeeeeevil. You know that, right? It's bad enough that I've come up with things like a Past Sins continuation because RealityCheck's stories with Nyx all go to really weird places by the ends. Now you're asking me to think of something for Aqua!
Actually, I already had a little something from back before you'd written what had actually happened to her. I'm actually waiting for you to finish with her to see whether it would still work.
2502465
Yeah... People constantly noting that I spend way too much time on Alex's thoughts is really bothering me. And it makes me worry for new readers.
2502484
Well, if it'd help, you could always get an editor to help you find a better balance. I'd offer, but I'm already having trouble staying current with Flanagan's stuff (damn that 300 special!), and he's hardly adding new material at a breakneck pace.
2502476
One of the panels I went to at Bronycon this year was Psychology for your OC and I learned a few very interesting details. The first is that Alex' reactions well within the bounds of someone who is under constant stress. Another was that it wouldn't be a stretch for Craig's actions to already be part of his coping mechanism.
But I did enjoy writing something a bit different for Craig and making him visibly more rounded.
2502534 I WANTED to go to that panel SO BADLY, but I was in line to get Tabitha's autograph, so I couldn't go. (I was part of the group that waited from 7AMish to 1 PM or so. (And that's not counting the previous days I waited just to have her sell out before I got to the front of the line.)
The panels aren't on YouTube yet, are they? They were supposed to eventually, weren't they?
2502808
I missed Tabitha because I went to panels.
The Psychology for your OC panel wasn't that great. He knew his Psychology but didn't know how to panel very well. It was more a 30 minute lecture on psychological problems and their symptoms followed by a Q&A. I actually had to ask what exactly authors would do wrong when writing mental disorders. (Dramatizing the "exciting" symptoms - like going on a rampage - while minimizing the less interesting symptoms - like being generally evasive or avoiding human contact) I think that should have been one of the main points in his presentation, but it wasn't.
So how long till the next chapter? Because I honestly thought your story was dead, from the lack of updates.
2503026
Yeah... Sorry. I'm just a really slow writer. If I were to ever cancel this story I would let everyone know and then mark it appropriately.
2503234
I still feel like I could cut some fat out of some chapters. Like when Alex goes back to work, did I really need everything I did there? I'd have to take another look.
Yes.
Must be nice