Another Lollipop -- Betcha You Didn't Know I Used to Make Comics · 1:06am Aug 1st, 2014
First One
Second One
The moment Cadance came back from her Royal Singing lessons, she knew Shining Armor was hiding something from her. She smirked as she opened the door of their room and saw him trying to cover something on the floor with a sheet. The two guards at the door ignored her. "Darling?" she asked. "What's wrong?"
"Uh-wha?" Shining shook his head and walked towards Cadance, stopping her. "Why, absolutely nothing is wrong! Everything is as good as it should! Perfectly fine!"
"You did something bad, didn't you?"
"Of course not!"
Silence.
"Okay, yes, I kind of did." Shining sighed and took a step aside, pointing the blanket at Cadance. "Please, don't be angry?"
"Aw, sweetie, you know I couldn't be angry at you."
"f you say so..." With another sigh, Shining Armor walked towards the blanket and tossed it aside. "Here," he said. "Look at this mess."
Cadance arched an eyebrow as she looked at what her husband was pointing at. "Is that... Broken glass? You broke a window?"
"Um." Shining licked his lips. "Kind of."
"Well, I don't see why I should be angry just because of—IS THAT THING A HOOF?!"
Shining Armor squinted. "Technically talking, I think that's a fragment of a hoof."
"SHINING ARMOR!" Cadance's voice became three tones higher. "PLEASE TELL ME THOSE AREN'T PIECES OF ONE OF OUR SUBJECTS!"
He nodded. "Don't worry, it's not one of our subjects."
Cadance sighed. "Oh, dear stars, for a second I got—"
"I kind of broke three of them, y'see."
"SHINING ARMOR!"
"Hey, it was an accident!"
"YOU DO REALIZE YOU COMMITED MURDER, DO YOU?!"
"Okay, look," Shining said, frowning, "I get that they're our subjects and we should care for them, but come on! It's not my fault nature made them so fragile!"
"WHAT IN THE HOLY NAME OF CELESTIA HAVE YOU DONE?!
"Oh, come on, don't bring your aunt on this." Shining Armor rolled his eyes. "You know she's my old boss; things would get awkward."
It was amazing how Cadance managed to scream even more. "YOU'RE A CRIMINAL!"
"C'mon, sweetie. I was just playing hoofball with the guys, okay?" Shining Armor sighed. "And after the match I tried to... Well, I always gave a noogie to my mates after a game of hoofball in Canterlot, right? So I thought 'hey, maybe I should keep the old traditions alive, for nostalgia's sake'..."
Cadance's eyes turned red. "YOU KILLED THREE CRYSTAL PONIES WITH ONE NOOGIE?!"
"Woah, no. That's impossible." Shining Armor shook his head. "I gave a noogie to the first one, and he kind of exploded. So I thought 'woah, that was weird. I'll be more careful with the next one'. And..."
"ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TELLING ME YOU KEPT GIVING NOOGIES AFTER THAT?!"
"Well, I had to be sure the first time hadn't been an accident!"
"WHAT ABOUT THE THIRD ONE THEN?!"
"Eh, I didn't really like the guy, to be honest."
"SHINING ARMOR, I AM SERIOUSLY GOING TO—"
"You promised you wouldn't get angry!" Shining Armor interrupted, making an offended pout. "You're hurting my feelings!"
Silence.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!"
"Besides, I'm pretty sure we can fix this." Shining eyed the remains of the three ponies. "I mean a litle bit of glue can do wonders. I once went through the same thing with my mother's favorite plate, and—"
"DON'T COMPARE YOUR MOTHER'S TABLEWARE WITH MY CITIZENS!
Silence.
"What if we use the expensive glue, then? I'm sure we can afford it."
"WE ARE NOT RESURRECTING ANY CRYSTAL PONIES WITH GLUE!"
Shining Armor rolled his eyes. "You're being unreasonable."
Cadance's voice was almost at its limit. "ME? UNREASONABLE?! SHINING ARMOR, I'M GOING TO—"
Crash!
Silence.
Shining Armor blinked and turned around. "Woah," he muttered. "Did you seriously just make the guards explode? Those singing lessons sure are paying off."
Thumph.
"Ah?" He turned to Cadance once more. "Ah! Honey!" He ran towards her. "Come on, don't faint! Now I gotta clean up this mess all by myself!"
But it was to no avail. Cadance remained unconscious. There was a little foam on the corners of her mouth.
"Sigh." Shining Armor shook his head and smiled warmly at his wife. "Oh, I can't get mad at you. I'll clean the whole thing without your help. You're lucky I'm such a great husband!"
Silence.
"Eh, I'm pretty sure our toilet can flush down this without trouble."
Third One
Man, almost two years since I wrote those comics. Time flies.
Also, I used to feel conscious about posting more than two posts per week, but yesterday PresentPerfect posted like seventeen in a row, so I figured out more lollipops would be good, seeing how lately I'm not posting that much.
If this kind of blog post becomes something usual I might even think about creating an actual story to save them all up in one place, but I'll probably keep publishing it in blogs. Sort of like a super lame gift for my followers.
That awkward moment when you shatter five Crystal Ponies and you realize that it's murder.
The 2nd one tho
...
Aw, sweet. I am all about lame!
That last one was the best.
That's a good idea. One can't like/fave blog posts, after all.
I actually laughed at both of those strips as well as the SA/MS story, so... job well done?
So thanks for that.
@Second One:
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It's true, I counted.
WAIT WAIT
YOU are bestseller microtech? jesus christ please get off your ass and start making more
loved your comics
You NEED to submit those comics to Equestria Daily! I'm almost certain they would be featured. And that second one... you monster.
Please make this a regular thing.
I love these lollipop posts!
Also, I think # 2 would be a great one-shot. If it isn't breaking any posting rules, you should post it to share with everyone else, it's really a great idea.
I'm on board with this becoming a regular thing.
The comics are funny I'll admit, but that thing in the middle is all kinds of stupid.
Luv this...
The second and third are hilarious.
For the first I kind of had this idea. After everypony in Canterlot dies they are replaced with changelings with none the wiser. Then, during a visit to Canterlot, Twilight gets suspicious and starts investigating. It could be a good dark fic.
-Sollace
2333401
Holy crap, I'd never read that one. Great, now I'm not original. Blargh.
2333417
I'm Best Seller, the writer. Microtech is the cartoonist, and he's a friend of mine who left the fandom, so we stopped making comics. Hence me writing more fanfics lately : P
2333419
Meh, I already got a bunch of comics featured in there. It was cool and all, but that was another time. Posting them here is more than enough I think.
Yeah, I'd be down for more of these.
2333173 It's only murder if they pin it on you.