Now available! Cosmic Smiles Afro! · 2:49am Jul 26th, 2014

Hello there, Fimfictioneers! Guess who’s back from vacation?

A timid man shakily raises his hand in the back row of the audience, not yet realizing the rhetoical-ness of the question provided. Upon his inevitable connection that it was not meant to be answered, he set it down and quivered in his seat.

Weird. Anywho, I’ll only highlight the fun things and bullet-point the rest. Because who likes reading about how awful the traveling was? If you do, please observe Netflix Instant Download; their wide selection of B-Rated movies and such will be sure to please you.

DAY ONE! WHOO!
-Wake up at 4:15 a.m.
-Leave for 8:00 a.m. flight.
-Fly on a plane for three and a half hours.
(In-flight entertainment consisted of game-shows I’ve never heard of. Fun.)
-Grab a rental car. Drive to my grandparent’s house.
-Say hello to family!
-LADDER GOLF
My Uncle Bill and I became riveting Ladder Golf Commentator Personas “Cosmo Kingshire” and “David Wash” of the “Ellyfish Platinum Family Championship League”. Our commentary was amusing.
-Uncle Bill shows family his present he gave to his wife for her 40th birthday. It was a video, so, neat. He’s a good film guy, thus the video of him dancing was quite… odd.
-Hotel. Nice accomodations!
-Sleep
-Dreamt about being Baloo from the Jungle Book and terrorizing Disney Land as a rabid bear cartoon. Pleasant dreams indeed!

DAY TWO! YEAH!
-Wake up early.
-FREE COMPLEMENTARY BREAKFAST!
-Feels homesick and misses Smiles and Lumie a bit. Assists stress with delicious scrambled eggs. No bacon, though. It was a crime, A CRIIIIIIIIIME!
-MAIN STREET!

Imagine, for a brief moment, you found a frigid, textured, and absolutely stunning frozen dairy treat slice of heaven. A waffle cone, but not any waffle cone. A waffle cone dipped in chocolate twice and layered with mini Reeses peanut butter cups. Now, put two generous scoops of Mint Chocolate Chip in that and slather it with chocolate sprinkles, caramel, some whipped cream, a cherry on top, and drizzle more chocolate fudge on that. That, my friends, is the Granite State Candy Shop’s… third best option. They were out of the first two cone styles so we couldn’t see what they were, but cold damn, it was good.

-Mustang Contest!
-Get this? Neighbor of my grandparents? Wins said mustang. Lucky sun’ava…
-DARTMOUTH
-Walks around campus. It’s really nice (Ivy League School and all).
-Got to touch pottery worth over $250,000 dollars. I’d steal it, but… it’s big D:
-Molly’s Restaurant!
It’s a local place there filled with local food. Met up with some friends of my parents from Texas who also happened to be in New Hampshire because of their kids being in a debate contest. Weird, right!?
Also, their definition of spicy up there is tame. TAAAME!
-Hotel!
-Dreams!
I was a spider with snakes for legs. I ate children. With all my mouths. I bloated into a balloon and flew away. Then I was a fireworks show. Whut?

DAY THREE! WHOOPIE!
-Wake up!
-Misses Smiles and Lumie some more. Eats BACON!
-Bacon tastes like the kids I ate in my dream… so I ate two plates’ worth.
-Grandparent’s house for casual conversation.
-THE FLUME!
No, not a log flume amusement ride, but an actual log flume area that’s now a tourist attraction because the surroundings are beautiful. The place was originally discovered by a ninety year old fisher-woman! Also, there was a cool egg rock, but it was washed away. Sad.
WALKING!
WALKING!
WALKING!
W-walking!
Sheesh… walking…
-WOLF-DEN!
Actually, just a hilarious tourist thing in the Flume area. Kids can climb through this “wolf den” as a “short cut”. But one lovely miss who was too big for her butt bliss almost wedged herself in the tunnel. Whoops. Good view though.

-MORE WALKING!
-Quick Drive.
-TRAM!
-Gets escalated to the top of a mountain and then climbs to the top of an observatory tower. Very scenic, very beautiful, and was my first experience of having difficulty breathing due to altitude. Neat! I could also see Canada from up there! I waved to Malefic and Cupidity. Malefic waved back, but I have to keep this a SFW blog so I can’t say what Cupidity did…
-Short ride.
-MAN IN THE MOUNTAIN!
Or, the mountain who had a face-lift. The actual natural rock structure had fallen down close to ten years ago so they had attractions of what it used to look like. Neat?
-Short drive.
-ZIP-LINES!

Imagine, if you will, standing at the precipice of a cliff. Beneath you is a forest, lush, wind rustling the firs perfectly. In front of you is a mile-long zipline. The instructor is warning you of 75+ Mph speeds as you’re being clipped in. You cannot see the end of the line. You do it anyways.

And then, to get down the rest of the mountain, you have to go another mile. On another zipline.

Fun!
-Hotel
-Ate some truffles I got from the candy shop.
-Sleep.
-No dreams.
-Truffles are the cure!

DAY FOUR!
-Woke up
-Ate more kid-flavored bacon.
-Said my goodbyes to Grandparents.
-Drove for a long time to Cape Cod.
-Arrived at scenic Hotel de “Not what I was expecting.”
-Crappy hotel room.
-Went to lunch with friends of parents, again.
-Fell down a sand dune.
The restaurant was an ideal “Beach Scene” location.
-Headed to Provincetown!
Province is known for its gay community, and you know what? It was really neat. I was hit on a time or two, but I’m already taken. That’s what I told them. I did purchase some fingerless gloves and a hat though. Very wonderful town, very happy people. It makes me wonder what people are afraid of with gay marriages. I saw it in practice, everything was fine. Oh well.
(Snow white and the seven bottoms. Legit show.)
-Drove back
-Hotel
-Dreamt of the first chapter of a story I’m writing. I may need to edit a scene or seven.

DAY FIVE! STAYIN’ ALIVE
-Woke up
-Drove to beach
-COLD WATER D:
-Made a sand castle.
-Found many smooth stones to decorate it.
-Seagull crapped on it. Left the beach.
-Lunch!
-GIGANTIC LOBSTERS!
(Actually, I’ve seen bigger, but they were cute.)
-Drove to tidal flats.
-Walked out two miles away from the beach. Water was still shallow.
-Hermit crabs were fighting! EXTREME HERMIT WRESTLING! GRRRRRR.
-Walked back.
-Hilarious sun burns due to napping on the sand.
-Hotel.
-Stiff sleep.

DAY SIX… YUS?
-Woke up
-Oddly felt okay
-Went bike riding.
-Rode for twenty-two miles total.
that was the last interesting thing.
-The rest was travel or sleep related. Wee.

HERE I AM! I’m exhausted! That’s why this blog is lazy! Oh well, I’m going to hug Smiles and Lumie’s butts now.

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