Badfic Slaughterhouse 5: The Midday Ride of Paul Review · 9:45pm Jul 20th, 2014
The badfics are coming! The badfics are coming!
Acronyms everywhere…, by SirShadestrider
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 1337 words
Synopsis: Ponies are creating groups with names that have weird acronyms.
Review: The story itself isn’t much of a story at all. It’s just a string of bad acronym jokes. There’s no setting to speak of. There’s no real conflict driving the story. It’s loaded with saidisms. It’s rife with bad punctuation and grammatical flaws.
And to be perfectly honest, it entertained the hell out of me, even if it was for all the wrong reasons. It’s pointless, stupid, and riddled with errors, but it hit that magical sweet spot of complete terribleness that makes me giggle like an idiot, kind of like watching a cat try to get a piece of tape off its paw.
Verdict: It’s terrible in my favorite ways. Read it and enjoy it for the bizarre hilarity only a really special badfic can offer. I’m actually rather sad to say that it might be cleaned up by the time this blog gets posted.
Twilight Sparkle’s Not-So-Secret Shipfic Folder, by GaryOak
Tags: Comedy
Length: 1976 words
Synopsis: Twilight writes shipfics about herself and her friends, which keeps Spike awake at night. He decides to pay her back.
Review: Another one I helped edit.
This one’s a fun little romp through an inane concept with some good humor. It has a bunch of gags, some obvious and some subtle, so there’s bound to be something for you in there.
As for the writing, it’s a GaryOak fic, which means it’s going to be pretty much spotless, even without my help. I mostly helped to trim the fat and fine-tune the humor.
Verdict: It’s nonsensical, but fun. If you have a few minutes and want a laugh, this is a good bet.
The Ballad of the Two Sisters, by SuperGiantRobot
Tags: Sad
Length: 7182 words (incomplete)
Synopsis: A history of Celestia and Luna related via poetry.
Review: This one’s actually really tough. You see, the author manages to tell an effective story, but the simple fact is that poetry is hard. Really hard.
A lot of effort very clearly went into this story, and it deserves respect for that. On the other side of the coin, however, the meter and rhyme scheme are far from flawless, which can make sounding it out properly a bit of a chore.
Verdict: This story is a labor of love, and that love shines through in pretty much every line. If you’re a big fan of poetry, you might find some things to complain about. However, if you like Celestia/Luna stories and just want to see a well-crafted story told in a way that sets it apart from similar stories, definitely give this one a chance.
Twilight Sparkle Pierces the Heavens, by Syeekoh
Tags: Random
Length: 1512 words
Synopsis: While flying, Twilight Sparkle gets her horn stuck in the sky.
Review: What? I don’t… I just… No… I don’t even…
Let me start over. This is a crackfic through and through, and to be perfectly honest, as crackfics go, it’s not half bad. It’s short, punchy, and covers a lot of ground—that’s sort of a pun because the whole story takes place in the air—in its length. I actually laughed out loud at a couple of points.
It’s not without faults, mind. There’s a few minor mechanical errors, a little bit of LUS, a couple of screwy saidisms, a bunch of emotional telling, and the characterization is pretty wonky. But hey, it’s a crackfic.
Verdict: For what it is, it’s fine. Read it if you want to see an outrageous concept played for a few cheap laughs. There’s no depth to it, but hey, it’s a crackfic. If you’re looking for depth, you’re doing it wrong.
Conquerors, by JumpingShinyFrogs
Tags: Tragedy, Sad, Dark
Length: 1192 words
Synopsis: Pony soldiers move in to secure a bombed-out town and observe the horrors of war.
Review: While this story is passable on the grammar front, although there are quite a few comma issues, the content is lacking. It takes place during some ill-defined conflict and is presented from the perspective of a seemingly random soldier as he wanders around and sees horrible stuff. Nothing else happens.
The reveal of the soldier’s identity actually works against the story because the first person narration sounds nothing like him. It feels like a cheap, desperate attempt to make the audience care about something completely unengaging by slapping a familiar face on it.
Verdict: This isn’t good. It’s boring, pointless, and contrived. Stay away.
Through the Eyes of a Soldier: Taking Hill 3908B, by That Hooded Fella
Tags: Tragedy, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 2317 words
Synopsis: Ponies fight humans for control of some hill.
Review: This was a pain to read. It has quite a few mechanical errors, it’s loaded with LUS—nearly every pony character, including Rainbow Dash, is only referred to with epithets—and the main character has no characterization at all. It’s impossible to be invested in what’s going on because none of it is explained, and none of it has any relevance to the reader.
Verdict: This story is a complete waste of time.
The End of Immortality, by DemonBrightSpirit
Tags: Tragedy, Sad
Length: 4423 words
Synopsis: Celestia is dying, and Luna has to come to terms with it, along with the rest of Equestria.
Review: There’s a lot working in this story’s favor. The concept is pretty heavy stuff, and it’s handled appropriately. Characterization is good all the way around, and the conflict is believable, as well as gripping. Celestia acts exactly as you’d expect her to act on her deathbed, and the nobility reacts appropriately to the news that Luna will soon be in charge. Twilight, Cadance, and Shining Armor get moments of their own to show how they’re dealing with the situation, and they’re all unique and interesting. It covers a lot of ground in less than 5000 words, and it mostly does it without feeling rushed.
That said, there are a couple of spots that do feel rushed. When the early scenes are set, they’re established through activity and dialogue. Later on, at least one major scene is set through an infodump, which is so quick and dull that I completely failed to process what had changed before backing up and reading it again. It also has one of the worst cases of saidism abuse I’ve ever seen.
Verdict: Those complaints aside, this is a very solid story, and I recommend it for anyone who finds the concept intriguing.
”Go Buck Yourself”, by Fire Gazer the Alchemist
Tags: Slice of Life
Length: 1895 words
Synopsis: Coco Pommel quits her job and tells Suri Polomare off.
Review: This is a pretty simple story that’s (obviously) set shortly before the end of Rarity Takes Manehattan. The entire story, minus the bit with the coffee, was already described by the show, so there’s not much creativity on display here. The story opens on an infodump of things that might make for decent additions to the story if they were properly shown, and as it goes on, it shows unfortunate amounts of saidism abuse and adjective/adverb overuse. And the telling… Every single emotion is told, rather than shown.
Verdict: This is the kind of fluffy nonsense that frequently makes the feature box, but I find no merit in. In addition, it’s extremely similar to General Spritz’s I Quit!, which has more mechanical flaws, but tells a better story. Seriously, if you really want to read about this event, pick that one instead.
I need to read more stories that are actually good. Wish me luck in finding better ones over the next few days.
‘Til next time,
-Prak
Hee, I'm finding these reviews more and more entertaining every time, Prak.
2302690
^ What he said
Yes.
Just Yes.
Perhaps haiku should
Have been the format I used
It is much simpler
But the problem is
The thousand word minimum --
Quite a lofty goal
Imagine how hard
Fulfilling that limit is
Using this format
Madness! Sheer madness!
I would surely go insane
Were I to attempt
And so I accept
That there are some goals that are
Unattainable
What Frisson said goes double for me, Prak.
I'm skimming these at first to make sure none of my submissions have ended up here first...only THEN do I go read the reviews.
2303466
I don't include anything that's still in the TRG system or anything we've accepted. I only post about stuff I read on my own or fics that TRG rejects. After the first blog, I stopped saying which was which, as that's really no one's business.
2302690 2302751 2302763
I'm glad you guys approve.
2302829
I can't stand haiku
I'll cry if you start to write
The accursed things
2303493
I wouldn't want to hurt your head!
Do you prefer Zecorans instead?
2303537
The rhymes of zebras are far less scary
But they still give pause and make me wary
The best is the limerick
For it does not make me sick.
If it has good flow
and the rhymes don't blow
It beats a punch in the dick.
I'm afraid that I must disagree
I've no love for limericks, you see
They're often quite crude
Or quite dirty or rude
So no; limericks just aren't for me
Thanks for the review, Prak! Glad you enjoyed? If I'm being honest, it was meant to be stupid. I created it recognizing fully that it was an idiotic attempt at a random comedy. I have to ask this though: You said that you enjoyed it for all the wrong reasons. That causes me to wonder what right reasons could there possibly be to find it humorous?
Note: I'm going to revise this atrocity. It's friggin terrible in it's (lack of a) layout.
3717776 I wish I could answer that question, but it's been a year and a half since I posted this. I honestly don't remember, and I have no idea if I'd even feel the same way about it now.
3718010 Oh, okay.