Okay readers, Yay or Neigh? · 3:04am May 28th, 2014
I'm really struggling here with my fic, third-person POV is just not working for me. I'm honestly better at second-person POV where you know what a character is thinking/feeling.
So here's the deal, I'm considering rewrite in my POV of choice with more detail and attention to plot! I've actually done a sort-of prologue for Chapter 1 to get a feel for it. So far, I like. But do you, the readers, like this new style?
Even though the cave was pitch black, Rover could see every little detail of his surroundings, and he knew the same applied to the pair he was meeting. He felt uneasy however, taking advantage of them like this, when they were at their weakest. But he needed answers and with the confusion and fright of the disappearance of the Moon’s shadow the night before, this really was the best chance he would ever get to get the approval he needed. “I’ve almost unlocked the secret. There’s only so much I can learn from watching at a distance. Please Alphas, let me capture the white thief and study how it’s done up close.”
During the pause he lowered his eyes. Not only to show submission, but also to keep himself from staring at the bodiless eyes that hovered behind the Alphas. The eyes that no-dog but him seemed to see.“Will the mare or dragonling be harmed in any way?” Alpha Bitch Widepaw finally asked.
“With any luck, no. I’m working on a plan, but I need advice from Healer Skye for it to work.” He responded; the plan wasn’t solid just yet and the thief wasn’t due for several weeks. By then he surely would have all the details hammered out.
He hoped.
Alpha Dog Steelfang finally spoke, albeit with a low, threatening growl that sent shivers down Rover’s spine. “If the Thief-Tyrant gets wind of your involvement …” he trailed off and flashed his teeth in warning.
Now that was something Rover didn’t want to even consider, but he knew it was possible. Getting caught by the Thief-Tyrant … It was, unfortunately, something he had planned for and something he would have to make sure his pack understood if they wanted to help him. “Deny any connection with the Pack. You have no control over the actions of Rogues after all.” Was all he could say. And really, that was all that could be said that the Alphas would accept.
“Permission granted.”
Don't be afraid to comment, I'm not the type to bite people's heads off. Fair warning though, even if the vote is primarily 'Neigh' to the new style, I'll probably be doing it anyway just because there's a lot of plot inconsistencies that need to be filled, characterizations that need fixing (from 2D to 3D) ect...
Honestly, doing a rewrite in the style I'm better at will probably make the fic better in general.
Remember:
Yay for Rewrite
Neigh to no rewrite
I would say definitely write in the style you're more comfy with. Also hi! It's been a super long time and I kinda disappeared and I'm super sorry...
2151675
Kartal! You Sonna Tirek! You ... You ...
Augh! I don't have enough words to describe how miffed I am at you right now!
*Five minutes later...*
You are so lucky I'm too lazy to hold a grudge.
So, you say 'Yay' to the rewrite? Cool. How've you been?
2151695 Eh...I'm still here so there's that. I know, I'm an idiot and a jerk. Everything got so overwhelming. I'm still overwhelmed. Oh right I do say yay, yes. It's nice to see you're still around. Whassup?
2151752
Not much, not much. Just putting actual thought into the plot for this story instead of randomly pulling chapters outta my butt. There's gonna be a few *cough*alot!*cough* plot changes.
I say... Yay!
Well, it's certainly been awhile since we last interacted, but I do still wish to see this story thrive. I say go for what you're comfortable with. If I remember correctly, you were writing in third person omniscient, right?
Um, it seems like you write more comfortably in third person limited (which is what the little passage you just shared with us is written in). I only mention it because you said second person, which would be using "you" and "your" in place of any third or first person pronouns.
So, if you're just thinking of switching from omniscient to limited, I say "Yay" for it. Second person… not so much. 2nd POV fics are difficult to pull off at best and disliked almost as much as Anthro on this site. My favorite one to this day remains Room 213 by Whirring Gears.
Best of luck with everything and know I'll always enjoy your story, especially for the world-building.
~ Lupo
2154022
Alright, another Yay! Thank you!
2155462
... I was? I was jut trying to write it like I was watching it as an episode on TV. That didn't really work out, as you can tell.
Well, good to see you again anyway!
2156762 Now that I think about it some more (and not at 3 in the morning) you were doing third limited before. In that regard, I don't rightly see what the change is, but I still stand by my 'yay' for a rewrite if you feel it absolutely necessary (and if it's more comfortable for you). And it's definitely good to be able to relax some more and comment on things. All my hard work for school paid off with four A's and a C for a 3.583 weighted term GPA. Now it's summer and I only have to focus on one statistics course and my job. Hopefully it's just smooth sailing from here on out. And glad to see you're doing well too. I really do enjoy your story and want to see it the best it can be. Do whatever you have to. I'm sure it'll turn out just fine.