Now you have a focus for your rage. · 6:32am May 22nd, 2014
Not long ago, I spotted a thread complaining (quite understandably) about people who auto-downvote stories simply because of the Flash Sentry tag. If you ask me, Flash is not in the least bit deserving of any of our hate, no more than distilled water deserves anyone complaining about the taste. There's nothing there. He's bland. He deserves indifference. Let's all have a big around of apathy for... what was his name again?
But you want someone to dislike, I get that. So I decided to do my best to deliver. So here he is, the evil version of Flash Sentry -- his evil twin (fraternal, not identical), his evil look-alike cousin, his counterpart from the Mirror Universe (Spock beard not included):
His name is Slash Defenestrate. Your waifu caught him in bed with her mom. Have at him.
Edit: Your waifu was heartbroken. Worst of all, he didn't call her -- or her mom -- later.
Now I want to write Slash Defenestrate into something.
Also, I am applauding like a seal.
2134695
Go for it! I only ask two things:
1. If you would be so kind, I would like credit for the idea.
2. Please make him a scumbag.
1. ABSOLUTELY.
2. I shall do my best.
I'm actually writing a Mirrorverse AU right this minute. I probably can't fit him in, but I'm very tempted to put him in the background, kicking a fragile, golden-maned filly down a flight of stairs. The problem is that Mirrorverse Sombra would see him and stop the dastard.
...but how can he be the evil one if he doesn't have a goatee?
2134703
How 'bout getting caught making out with the filly instead? It's a whole different flavor of scumbag, and more in line with the unsavory fandom infamy that Flash Sentry has for being some sort of ladies' man...
2134711
The darker coat, armor, mane, and tail aren't enough of a tip-off? The eyes aren't red enough for you?
It could be an interesting universe to flesh out. I like to picture the equivalent of the cmc in that universe being the "Cutie Mark Annihilators", who are on a quest to wipe out everypony else's cutie marks.
--arcum42
2134716
Dammit! Now sombody's gonna create a new fandom 'verse, and make a new FIMFiction group for it, and I'm gonna be to blame!
You, good Sir, are FUCKING AWESOME! (you know obscure episodes of ST:ToS)
2134727
Well, there is technically already a mlp mirror universe...
2.bp.blogspot.com/-FL2cEJGeBog/UwUsp1CTuwI/AAAAAAABs9s/QWjqQwtVi20/s1600/large.png
Not that I know what Flash or Sombra looks like in it.
derpicdn.net/img/2013/3/3/261146/large.png
--arcum42
(Mirror Chrysalis is so cute...)
2134712 Gah! Clearly, I don't have whatever it takes to do this!
2134727 Well, there already is a canon Mirrorverse, isn't there? In the comic books. I just haven't seen too many fanfics using it.
2134729
"Mirror, Mirror" is on anyone's top ten list!
Obscure, my ass!
"The Omega Glory", on the other hand (hoof?) ... now that's a little more obscure.
"Freedom" is also one of our worship words...
2134734
Not as vile as what I'm creating here.
2134735
See above.
That's probably a good thing.
2134739
Hmm. I think I like the canon Mirrorverse...
i1312.photobucket.com/albums/t526/arcum42/EVIL/photobucket/king_sombra_zpsb3f32a0e.png~original
i1312.photobucket.com/albums/t526/arcum42/EVIL/photobucket/fairness_humility_wisdom_love_zpsc8ffb708.png~original
--arcum42
2134767
I was pretty amused by the stained glass gallery myself.
2134768
Oh definitely. Though Chrysalis as love is... fairly accurate...
You know, I could totally ship Cadance x Chrysalis. What better way to show your love for someone then by imprisoning them in a cave while you steal their identity and marry their fiance?
--arcum42
2134775
Isn't that the plot of a Lifetime movie?
2134779
Canterlot Wedding was a Lifetime movie?
--arcum42
2134781
It starred Tori Spelling, didn't it?
2134782
Sad thing is I now have mirrorverse "Call of the Cutie" running through my head, in which Apple Bloom decides cutie marks are chains binding you to a fascist regime, we see pictures of Cheerilee's black leather headbanger days, and Diamond Tiara's cute-ceañera ends with Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and sweetie Belle chasing her around trying to remove her cutie mark with a cake knife as all the ponies at the party run around in a panic...
--arcum42
2134785
Madness! Madness, I say!
2134712
Well, yes, I suppose those are some good hints. But Star Trek told me that the goatee was the key, and if I can't trust a cheesy sci-fi show from the 60's, what can I trust? Next thing you know, you'll be telling me that we won't fall off the edge of the world if we sail for too long, or that drinking mercury isn't the secret to immortality. Madness, that what I say!
2134793
I hope you're sitting down, 'cause I've got news that's gonna knock your powdered wig right off...
2134788
Nothing wrong with a little madness occasionally...
[youtube=SrOfR7QlGD8]
--arcum42
2134794
Oh God, the Spanish have another armada! Quick, where's that Drake fellow when you need him?
Seriously?
FUCK DISTILLED WATER.
2136158 It may have no taste, but if you need to fill up your iron, distilled water is exactly what you want. I don't know that I would write a whole story with distilled water as a main character, though.
2134695 You mean... SLASH fiction?
2137359 Always possible, although then one of his major evil traits would be negated--that of Waffle Stealer. There aren't that many male waffles to steal.
2137396
That's why I think he should be an unsavory womanizer and man-whore in general.
2134768 That's why I wrote about 'em. I couldn't get the Justices Flim and Flam out of my head any other way.
So, at two different points in time, he was in bed with Twilight Velvet and Twilight Sparkle? I like this guy already.
P.S. DAT NAME.
2137543
And it's entirely possible he sleazed his way into a threesome with them as well...
2137562
Now I love him even more! How could anyone hate this guy?
Ironically, you made a character ten times more interesting than Flash by making him a sleazy waffle stealer. Isn't that kind of sad? Or is that just me?
I don't hate on Flash though. It's hard to despise distilled water. Not its fault for being that way. I mostly drink water, normally.
2137573
I can see what you mean, but I don't think it's that sad, really -- any personality is going to be more interesting than no personality at all.
Incidentally, baby, Slash Defenestrate wants to know what you're doing this weekend, 'cause it could be him if you're lucky...
2137587
Alas, you are correct.
The cheesy pick-up lines are gold.
You need to write about him. 1K of just that. Scoots2 can write about him being taken to court, maybe for alimony, or getting his butt-kicked by Good King Sombra for trying to steal the waifu from another waifu stealer.
2137598
Or it could be the regular MLP universe, with Flash's unsavory cousin Slash trying to pick up mares in a bar and getting shot down at every turn. I'll have to give this some thought. And anyone else who wants to jump in is welcome to do so, of course!
If Slash said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against him?
2137573
I thought Flash was already supposed to be a waffle stealer? That's what this said, anyway...
th01.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/040/d/2/battle_of_the_waffle_stealers_poster_by_dm29-d75uoac.png
Nopony better be stealing my waffles. Mmmm, waffles....
--Sweetie Belle
2137047 Distilled Water is worst pony.
Ladies, Slash Defenestrate considers himself a gentleman. So he wants you to know that if you ever find yourself without a place to sit, his face is always available...
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2014/141/3/e/flush_sentry_by_peternators-d7j6o8p.png
2137618 One of my favorites! And incidentally, I know people say they dislike Trenderhoof, but Trend has personality. He may not be somebody you'd enjoy being stuck in an elevator with, but at least you'd know he was there. Plus, he didn't steal any waffles. He left town exactly as he arrived, completely waffle-free.
I've tried writing both of them, because I'm a writing masochist. Trend turned out to be easy and fun. I found out a lot more about him as I went and thought that maybe I'd like to work with him again. Flash--he was hard.
Of course, you know that Slash Defenestrate will take over the fandom, and his little, hardly worth mentioning flaws will be woobified.
2138011
I donno. Thing about Trenderhoof is that all that time Rarity spent building his shrine and in front of it is time she coulda spent with me. I s'pose it might not really be his fault, exactly, but it's irritating. I'm good with him going after Applejack, tho'. After how crazy she acted about Apple Bloom not that long ago, any thoughts of her as a replacement sister are long gone...
If all the waffles in town were still there, he must not have thought they were trendy. Unless he was trying to get Applejack's waffles. Some apple cinnamon waffles sound really good right now. Maybe he thought they did too.
It'd be kinda funny if somepony wrote a story 'bout how Trenderhoof and Flash Sentry were both back in town, trying to steal Ponyville's supply of waffles.
--Sweetie Belle
2137604
Slash Defenestrate can't be trusted around Shining Armor's waifu. His name alone says it all.
2138011
... I want a story about some poor pony being stuck in an elevator with Trenderhoof now.
I gotta add that to my list of Trend prompts.
2138396
Don't get mad at Applejack for being wrong that one time. She can't always be her perfect self.
P.S. we never saw Rarity tear down that shrine. He still has your waffle's heart in his pocket, next to his comb.
2137890
If some unholy trinity of fanboy, artsy-crafter, and plumber actually made that, you just know that someone in Japan would buy it.
2138011
I would find that both hilarious and disturbing if it were to actually happen. But maybe I could get over the "disturbing" aspect by enjoying the benefits of finally being fandom-famous. (There are some, aren't there?)
2138396
A story? That should be a movie.
2138534
I've already imagined him hitting on the princess right in front of her husband, so yeah, maybe there's a goofy story in this.
2138751
I agree.
Hey, if someone could write 1K of Flash getting punched in the face, then you can write 1K of Slash making Cadance roll her eyes while Shining rolls up his non-existent sleeves.
It'll be way more epic, 'cause everything is better with defenestration!
2138871
I picture a rather bland Flash Sentry being taught by Shining Armor how to properly yell at the guards under his command, only he can't quite focus. See, he's feeling a little anxious because he's received word that his cousin is coming to visit...
2138751
Hmmmm.
Let me get back to you on that one. I've got a lot of grading to do, so of course I need to write some more fanfic.
2138751
And poop in it.