Cutting room floor. · 9:03am May 13th, 2014
I wish to apologize for how long it is taking me to get out the newest chapters for Solitary Pinion and A Stranger Among the Voices. As for the former, I am having issues with the pacing, for the later, I am roughly around 18300 words in, and working on Twilight's part next. So... Yeeeah, will most likely be well over the 20k mark. o.o
Anyhow, I just wanted to share some things, that for some reason or another, were cut from the stories. Some explain a bit of the past, and others are only eluded to in the story. Primarily as an apology for the delay! Of course, keep in mind these are also rather rough, but they may offer some insight into scenes or events otherwise left up to interpretation.
The first was cut from the end of ASAtV chapter 4.5. It kind of deflected from the mood somewhat, and, ultimately, wasn't really important in the grand scheme of things. ^-^;
Also, don't read if you are afraid of spoilers. Not only for what is in them, but also, for events they refer too!
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“Come Luna. We both know there is little we can do tonight, let us go and get something to eat before I send a letter informing Twilight of what we have decided.”
Seeing the wisdom in her sister’s words, Luna got to her own hooves and followed, a nod given to the guards positioned outside the chamber.
“Oh, that reminds me Tia. I have acquired the most, I have been told ‘cute’, socks in lieu of those… lost, and I would be delighted to…” Luna trailed off as she looked out one of the windows, her brow furrowing as she noticed something alarming from the direction of her room. “…That would not so happen to be smoke, would it not?”
Celestia trotted over, her gaze drawn far over at one of the spires to where a plume of smoke billowed out from Luna’s chamber. Caught off guard, all she could do was blink as she squinted, just to make sure it was indeed what she thought it was with the night sky making it harder to see.
“Yes… Yes, that… is indeed smoke.”
Maybe it was the absence of fire that stopped either alicorn from reacting faster, or perhaps it was the pure outrageousness of the situation, but neither moved until a flickering shape followed the dissipating smoke out of the window, a trail of flames following throughout the sky.
“Oh dear.” Celestia summed up the situation as she noted that the escapee from Luna’s room was in fact more bird like and consisting of flame. Or, more precisely, a certain pet phoenix with an incriminating pair of socks clasped within her beak.
“Philomena!” Luna fumed as the sky rumbling with thunder despite the absence of clouds. “Thou hath caused the fiery demise to the last of our royal hoofwear!”
Celestia sighed as Luna launched herself out the window, the two Noctral guards wincing slightly before shrugging towards the remaining princess. Still, the Solar Monarch could only quietly laugh watching the two weave around in the sky, the phoenix eluding her sister’s attempts to ‘bring untold vengeance upon thee’.
Knowing her sister would be occupied for a while, Celestia went to obtain a slice of cake and write a letter to Twilight and Spike prior to sleeping. Luna, meanwhile, continued to chase Philomena throughout the sky, the courtyard, and half of the castle until finally she cornered the bird back within the throne room. Her chest heaved with the exertion; her only satisfaction being that Philomena was also in a similar state.
“Now…” Pausing for breath, Luna used her magic to seal the throne room, her eyes narrowing. “We are aware thou still may hold a… grudge over the ‘feather removal’ spell we may have devised and used upon thee.”
A ‘scree‘ sound along with an affirmative nod was given in reply causing Luna to stomp a silver-clad hoof.
“Yes, be that as it may, we would advise thee that it was over one thousand years ago!” A wave of her hoof followed as she gestured to the socks held within the phoenix’s beak. “Also, thou hath also destroyed several wondrous pairs of crafted leg-coverings already.”
Putting on a smile, Luna tried to do things Celestia’s way. Decorum, poise and, importantly, remaining calm were all parts of how her sister dealt with issues.
“Can we not, as they now say, let bygones be bygones?”
Whatever response Luna had desired, having the socks burst into flame before being reduced to piles of ash was most certainly not it.
Elsewhere in the castle, having finally finished her tasks, Princess Celestia slept within the comfort of her warm bed. Due to this she remained completely oblivious to moon – just for an instant – flaring brighter within the night sky. Nor did she notice a disgruntled pink-skinned bird push open her door to flop down upon the floor sometime later. For such things could wait, as always, for the morning sun to rise and a new day to come.
---
Next up is how Ebony originally became Rosebloom. This is incomplete, and a glimpse of sorts. Originally I was going to reveal it within dreams through the story, but, ultimately, I feel it doesn't matter. I may revisit at another point, or go with my first plan, but... For now, it is in limbo. It does explain a few things, but also opens up more questions. Until I can close those questions, it is, for now, just a collection of random musings. ^-^;
Again, do not read if you don't wish for spoilers. Plus, it is rather dark and something I didn't really enjoy writing, so if you're squeamish like me, I advise not reading! Of course, given it is written by me, the bits that are squeamish are more implied than outright stated, but... Yeeeah. x.x
Anyhow, there is a note at the top of what I may consider doing with this.
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Possibly change this to Rosebloom being a patient and having escaped to find her parents in a fever induced state.
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Chrysalis watched as the young filly struggled, her eyes clenched in pain. The pony's body was broken, the changeling could see that even at a glance. If the life fluids pooling under the body weren't enough of a give away, the way her limbs and back were twisted was more than enough evidence.
Trotting forward, Chrysalis furrowed her brow, not quite sure what to do with this providence provided before her. She couldn't get any emotions - useful ones - from the dying filly, that was without doubt. However another option was opened before her. Gazing up to the top of the gully she saw where the pegasus must have fallen, following the sight of broken vines and branches.
In all honesty, those very things that helped arrest her fall were a cruel mercy. While they must have slowed her descent enough to not die on impact, all they had done was bring the pony to a slow, agonizing death instead. She found herself cursing under her breath, she had been hoping to gain some sustenance from the pegasus. Now? Now she was watching her meal expire before her. It all seemed so, wasteful to the changeling.
Her ears perked however as she heard the filly's voice speak out, quiet, barely audible. Trotting closer she saw the fear flash through the pony's eyes before a quiet whimper escaped, tears rolling down furry cheeks. Sniffing dismissively, Chrysalis stepped closer, curious as to what the young pony had to say.
"H-Help... p-please, it hurts."
Rolling her eyes, Chrysalis lowered her head, eyes narrowing.
"I can't help you." Something made her bite back the rest of what she wished to say, to point out exactly why she hurt. Something about the filly made her swallow the comment back down, it would have been pointless to taunt the pony anyhow. Well, that's what she told herself.
"I-I don't... don't want to die."
Chrysalis exhaled at that, her ears flicking as she buzzed her wings.
"No-one wishes to die, but it happens." Trotting closer she sat down, regarding the crying, broken filly with a raised brow. An idea was forming in her mind, a bold, outrageous idea. No-one had seen what had happened other than her, and of course the changeling she had hunted with. No-one had seen the filly fleeing from the manticore, no-one had seen her attempt to fly away only to impact a branch in her panic.
No-one had heard her scream as she fell, until, mercifully, it was cut short by the impact.
Certainly no-one had seen Chrysalis attempt to save her either, not even the other changeling who flew to make sure the coast was clear. That was unimportant anyhow, she had failed and now their meal was no good to them.
Still, the possiblity of replacing the filly, to gain an almost limitless amount of love. That, that was a tempting idea. She had heard about the lifers, how respected they were. While that didn't matter so much to her, she had heard about the amount of nectar they retrieved, how frequent and reliable it was. With that she could assist her hatch-mate, take some of the burden from her.
With the idea taking root she nudged the filly with a hoof, careful not to aggrevate the injuries any further. "Hey, still with me?"
For a moment she was worried the pony had passed away already but a low groan and tortured sniffle reassured her the filly still had life in her. The pony's eye opened, diluting slowly with the telltale sign of fading vitality as Chrysalis knew her time was limited.
"What's your name?" Her tone kept purposely inquisitive, she didn't wish to blow her chance by sounding harsh. Thankfully the filly seemed to collect her thoughts, fighting through the pain and incoming darkness to blink a tear filled eye up at the changeling.
"R-Rose... Rosebloom...p-please, don't want mommy... d-daddy sad... H-Help me... please?"
Chrysalis grit her teeth, she now had a name but the filly was becoming irritating. Exhaling slowly she instead lowered her head and, against her better judgement, spent some of her nectar to encompass the filly. It was a simple spell, to identify and create a far more complex disguise than a mere observation could obtain. But that wasn't what drained the majority of her nectar.
"T-Thank... Thank you..."
Chrysalis looked away, ears flattening at the stupidity she just displayed. The filly was doomed anyhow, she doubted even their precious princess could have saved her. So, why did she just expend so much to dull the filly's nerves, to remove the pain?
Shaking her head she tsk'd at her own foolishness, instead pushing it to reasoning that it would aid her in getting more questions answered. By now her hunting partner had landed, a quick commune establishing what she hoped to achieve. The other changeling looked intrigued at the idea, sitting back to watch as Chrysalis lowered her head.
"Where do you live?" Her question was asked quietly, the filly showing no sign of hearing until her eye slowly opened. The pupil took a while to focus, a forehoof pawing at the ground to which Chrysalis snorted and gently moved a forelimb closer. As the leg brushed to her own she didn't move it, instead letting the filly gently clasp it.
"C-Canterlot... w-want to go home... c-can you take me home? Want to see my mom... my dad. S-So tired..."
She knew the filly was passing, she could almost taste it in the air as she lowered her head.
"Yes, I will make sure you get home." The words were not a lie, not in the truest sense. In a way she would make sure 'Rosebloom' got home, but it would not be the filly herself. Regardless, the filly smiled ever so slightly at the corners of her mouth before slowly going still, her eye closing.
<Looks like your plan will work Chrysalis, what an oppertunity!>
Chrysalis looked down at the pegasus before her, noticing the last signs of life ebb away. For several long seconds she sat there before feeling the limb still wrapped about her foreleg. Flicking her hoof gently she removed the filly's grasp before nodding.
<Apparently. Can you fly ahead and get the doctor's ready? I didn't get enough info to replace her perfectly, so going to need a cover story.> Chrysalis looked as the other changeling nodded, already understanding her plan. A fanged grin passed over the other's muzzle before she buzzed her wings, flying out of the crevice.
<By the queen, you really are lucky Chrysalis. Can't believe you got the chance to be a lifer!>
As the changeling flew off Chrysalis exhaled softly. With another application of her magic, burning into her reserves further, she dug a large groove in the dirt. The body of the pegasus was then levitated in, almost with reverent care before the dirt was pushed back over. After a few more minutes of preparing she looked to the sky.
<Yeah... Lucky.>
Tears rolled down her chitin, the reason for them she couldn't put her hoof on. Looking down at her foreleg she shook the thoughts from her head and took to the sky, her wings buzzing as she went to put her plan into action.
Below in the gully remained an area of displaced dirt. At one end had been placed a stone, polished with magic to reflect the light from above. Etched within, shakily and roughly, almost as if done with a horn, were three simple words.
Rosebloom, I'm sorry.
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Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the bits and pieces that never made it into the stories. If these prove popular enough, I might continue doing it. But for now, I just wanted to give something to people after a month or two of no updates. ^-^;
~Tystarr
Oh, that last sentence in that second scene...
Over 20 thousand? Apology accepted ten times over! Don't feel bad about slow writing, it's not a race!
Hope you're okay and happy to hear from you!
Keep up the amazing work!
I like the part with Luna and Philomena. The part with Rosebloom was just sad
And I mean in a good way. You really have talend to put emotions in your storys.
And I cant wait too read what you have worked on that has OVER 20K WORDS!
I hope that will come our on a day, where I have the time to read it at once without interruptions or pause.
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I'm glad you both liked, and I am trying to get the chapter out as soon as I can. x.x
I know everyone says not to hurry, but two months with no update is just deplorable!
2107559
When God created time, he created pretty much of it, so it's no problem.
About first fragment - well, it was fun, but you were right with cutting it out. Unimportant indeed.
About second fragment - it was sad, but so good! I think it must be somewhere in story, maybe as bonus chapter, or I dunno, somewhere... but it's too good for limbo! And answers of that questions are too important for being lost.
You're alive! Happy day! And almost 20k? I'll take that.
Its so good to hear from you. Over 20k words on the next chapter is awesome. Also these 2 work in progress/ deleted scenes are awesome. Keep up the good work and I look forward to seeing what you end up submitting.
The second one would fit so wonderfully in the story somewhere after reuniting with 'Legend'
I like moderate sadness. It is such a delightful spice.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter, at any rate.
Well like mentioned above you put a lot of emotions into your writing and i love reading it.
as for these extra bits, if they don't fit into the story proper don't force em in. But i do love reading them in here and if they haven't been in the story before they are complete you could add a cutting room chapter with these bits in them for those who would like to read them without them having to impact them the story overall.
but I'm excited about the new chapters coming up for both stories and it doesn't really matter all that much they take a while to finish.
I'm usually much more a person of little words so i send you lots of hugs, kisses and nuzzles to hold you over till the next time ^///^
No need to apologise, my friend.
You cannot rush art.
Wow, Barely more than a thousand words and the Rosebloom part was soul wrenching.
Tystarr, you're the best.
Damn, you were able to punch me in the gut with that second piece. And that was barely a short story! Good work.
Little peeks at rejected parts of the stories?
"Ah!"
"Ah..."
Fun first fragment and sad second fragment.
But regarding changing the origin to the fever induced patient , doing so probably detracts from the emotional impact here. It shows Ebony's compassion, that she had viewed the world less cynical. Also it mirrors Dinky's rescue, albeit darkly. Here she tried to save a filly and failed, then she didn't try, but still succeeded.
Poor Rosebloom.
These updates will be SO worth the wait!
Honestly my only complaint about your stories is that they have ruined other Human in Equestria fics for me; none of the others I've been reading are as good, and I had to stop reading them.
You dont need to apologise at all. I'm a darn Fo:E junkie, im used to waiting a bit for updates, and those usually at 15-50k words (One day yet, i'll get to reading the latest murky chapter. No matter how soul crunchingly dark it will be.)
When its done, its done, and I wouldn't rush it for the world.
*ties napkin around neck, then takes knife and fork in hand*
That suits me just fine, because I am positively starving.
That second snippet was amazing and I think you should really look to fit it into the main story at some point, although it might work best when Ebony runs into her foster family again. If you are going to change anything beyond the frame it is presented in, I would make Rosebloom a more active participant in the scene like Rainbow was in Winds of Change to make the scene even more impactful on Ebony and the readers by making Rosebloom more of a character in those last few minutes. I am also thinking you may want to keep the partner out of the scene until after Rosebloom dies to better focus on the emotional core of the scene, although your judgement on this is probably better than mine.
"Sir! Feels missiles!"
"All power to forward shields!"
...
...
"We've lost contact with the Templar sir."
I must agree with you; the first portion would have been quite out-of-place. Additionally, I don't really care for the "ponies in stockings" meme, but that is merely a matter of personal taste. I'm glad to see you didn't go overboard with the cake meme; that's a mistake that a lot of writers make (even the experienced ones).
As for the second one... Phew.
I am very poor at expressing myself emotionally. I never smile unless I encounter something I find truly funny, people won't know I'm angry until I'm close to critical levels, and I've been accused of being apathetic at every funeral I've ever attended. The one thing that will actually get me to cry is witnessing the death of someone I care about (fictional or not). Given that my eyes were brimming with moisture by the time I finished reading that second bit, it would be irresponsible of me to not praise it. Well done, and good luck with the rest of the story.
Oh wow, I am flattered so many like the bits I felt were not good enough for the main stories. ^-^;
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Yes, I feel the first part, while fun to write, detracted from the mood somewhat. I believe Treil or Milo also thought the same, thus it got discarded. It did live on as passing mention in a later chapter though I think! Or perhaps that one, I forget.
As for the socks and cake, I wasn't aware they were memes. o.o
The socks were just I needed something flammable, and it would fit with Luna trying to get acquainted with the new fashions of the age. As for the cake, I couldn't think of anything else! Maybe a cookie next time and a glass of milk?
2110710
Oh no! Not Tempest! ;.;
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I am still tempted to use the Rosebloom one, not sure how to put it in though.
2109014
I am glad you like the Rosebloom part. It seems to be the most popular. ^-^;
2108817
It will DEFINITELY be over the 20k mark at this stage. Luna's part just ended the chapter at 18500, and still have Twilight's to go. ^-^;
2108495
I don't like keeping people waiting though!
2108317
I really don't think mine are that good, but I am glad you're looking forward to it! I am trying a few new things this update.
2108033
She never got home. ;.;
2107999
Oh, I was meaning, changing why she was running through the forest in the first place. Suffering delusions from her fever, that's all. It might make it a little too sad though.
That Rosebloom didn't even know where she was, only to have a giant monster run after her. Scared, confused, alone, and then broken.
At least Ebony is shown to have a heart, even if she refuses to believe it.
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I'm sorry. ^-^;
2107756
I find it funny that you say I am the best after I effectively killed a filly in my writings. ^-^;
2107726
That's okay, what I do is barely considered writing. So I can rush away! ^-^
2107641
Awww, thank you.
I am definitely eager to get this next chapter out, I am really enjoying writing it and am enjoying doing a bit of backstory at the same time! Plus, there's a new character that amuses me in it.
2107604
It may play a part later. May try to fit it in when/if Ebony meets Rosebloom's father and mother again. A bit of a spoiler, her father has already been in the story! Try to guess who Steel Point is in AVAtS!
2107598
Thank you, am trying hard to get this done!
2107575
Not dead yet!
2107566
I am surprised so many people like it. I will see what I can do ^-^;
Also am working on Nightmare Night story with Jess and the others, which is all types of other sorts of fun!
2111169 And we are thankful for that. But i'll harp on the record brokenly. Quality beats quantity each and every time.
2111169
Interesting. I might fail, but I'll try to think ahead
2111169
Yay, cool! That's really wonderful!!!
Art should not be rushed! Take your time - we will be waiting
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Nice pieces. However, I agree Chrysalis's piece is irrelevant to the main story.
One other thing: In your setting, can changelings cry? You've mentioned here in Chrysalis' snip and the little ones on AVAtS apparently are able to; however, the first chapter of ASAtV ends mentioning Chrysalis is (sarcastically thankful for) unable to cry.
And 20k words?!
That's a lot.
Fun stuff. Omake.
2111169 If you Google "pony socks" or "Celestia cake," you will find a vast wealth of meme material. That being said, beware, for there be monsters in those waters (read; NSFW material galore).
2113290
Sorry, missed this!
Well, they would probably still have to intake water, even if 'nectar' is how they obtain food. Although, on that note, maybe Ebony was being her usual self with that comment? ^-^
2124262
Not saying to hurry, but how's Pinion gone this last month? Any chance of getting a nice chunk of those ~20k words if the whole thing won't be ready soon?
It's one of the few fics I haven't lost hope in updating this side of the Techsingularity.
2195090
I am sorry it has fallen through the wayside, and, funnily enough, I am working on it right as we speak. ^-^;
I want to keep the chapters smaller though. Although, it seems doing that AND A Stranger Among the Voices, AND the side stories, is making it really hard to get anything out.
But yes, I am working on Viktoria's adventures as we speak. ^-^
2195222
Yay.
If you'd like a beta-reader, I'd love to proofread for filling my head with another segment of awesome.
Wait a second, I thought she became Chrysalis after being Rosebloom for a while. Or gained the name or w/e.
Sorry for necroing an old blog.
2270698
You're right, but that's why this is just on the cutting room floor. ^-^
It'll be revised and fixed, were I to ever use it!