Update, apologies. · 2:27pm Mar 4th, 2018
Saw the last update was... well, way too long ago. >.<
Again, I'm really, really sorry for the long delay. I know it's hollow words right now, and I really hate saying them since I haven't anything to show for it, but I have not given up on the stories. Sometimes it does feel like it would be easier to just actually let the poor thing die. ^-^;
Sooo, am going to just blarghl some words out, and apologize in advance if I sound all 'me-me-me.' But I really feel I need to explain myself, and is easier to do it here where people can see, than individual comments! Also, apologies for rambling, it's 3:30am and also feeling a bit emotional. >.<
Firstly, I hate making people wait, and am torn between just telling people what's going to happen in the stories in a blog, and walking off into the sunset from the site, but at least people know the story, and gives them some closure. Or... Or, I can continuing bashing my head against a wall... Ultimately, the problem is two fold. One, I have writer's block, but admittedly, that can only be an excuse for so long. The second part is more self-defeating. I am critical of what I write, or draw, and constantly get frustrated with it. Looking back at the first chapter of AVAtS, I can't believe I wrote that, and even compared to what I write now ( which I know from comments, I have improved ) I feel everything I write doesn't match up to it.
It's a super-silly thing, and I know it is on an intellectual level. But then I get frustrated, I begin to get angry at my writing, and I lose motivation to write. This happened with me drawing, and is a very annoying, and stupid 'quirk' I have. So... the cycle repeats. I write something, get frustrated, read what I've already written, can't see how what I've written compares, get down over it, and walk away from writing. My old laptop was a graveyard of discarded paragraphs from Solitary Pinion and ASATV, not to mention side chapters, all thrown aside due to this annoying thing. Especially given it's been a few years since I put anything on here. >.<
So, that's a whole lot of nothing said... What does that mean? Well... I don't want to give up. I love the characters too much, and I really really don't want to disappoint people. I know others will suggest just writing anything to get back into the feel, but that's not how I work. When I wrote AVATS, it was a bet... a silly bet, but after the first chapter, I really, really, really felt... driven? I would write at work, I would write at home. I would spend all my time thinking about it, and I would write over 10k words a day before I went to work, and when I got home from work. It was almost a passion, and I enjoyed it? It was like a spark, and I just had to get the words out.
I want that feeling back to write... I want to do justice for the characters, and for all those who have waited, patiently, to see more. So, the long and the short of it, like previous few times, I am going to keep trying. Sometimes... I get that brief inspiration, and then it fades before I put anything down. I just need to find what inspires me, and go for it.
Besides, Ebony ( and to a lesser extent, Viktoria ) came from my head, and so, I know I have stubbornness in me. I am using google doc's now, so am working from that angle.
So... summary? I'm going to keep trying to write. I won't abandon these stories, and even if there's only one person who wishes to read what happens, I will continue. That's my word, for what it's worth. ^-^;
Again, am really sorry to everyone for vanishing, but I feel so guilty with nothing to show, I don't want to keep logging in and replying to comments about not having anything written. >.<
It's good to hear to hear these stories aren't dead. I doubt that I'll be the only one reading them though.
I don't know what to answer to this blog, apart from giving all the support that i can...
Writer block and self criticism can be really something terrible. :/
And the worst thing it's that seems to be a downward spiral...
Hmmmmm... maybe...? I don't know if it would help... but i think maybe having some pre-readers could help ? When you feel that a paragraph or something you write don't feels right, you send it to your pre-reader before discarding it, maybe they could be able either to pinpoint what don't feel right, and alter it, or can reassure you about the quality of your writing...?
I'm sorry i can't find more to help...
Don't give up mate. The spark will come back and I'm willing to wait until then :)
Honestly, I don't want your apology and I don't want you to bring yourself down by doing this. If you wish to continue your stories then take the time you need for them, we will be here. You have already given us fantastic content and I can't thank you enough as is. If you wish for a soundboard to bounce ideas off of or to look for inspiration all you need do is ask.
Thank you once again for your hard work
Glad to hear you are well. Let me give you some advice. Don't think too hard. Overthinking is what is causing the depression and self-defeating attitude.
Your work is wonderful and I'm thrilled to hear that you want to continue. I can only speak for myself, but for stories like these I'm willing to wait.
Good to hear that you aren't quite dead. I hope you can get back in the saddle and get more out. Good luck!
While it sounds insufficient to say it, I'm very glad to see that you're still around.
It's never easy to break writer's block on your own because the whole definition of writer's block is "normal thought patterns and problem-solving techniques aren't working", so you wind up in a "Doctor, heal thyself" situation.
If you're feeling willing to share what you have planned, I've found that it really helps to consult with someone else. Simply because explaining things to them forces you to "think new thoughts rather than reusing old ones". (As my university scientific reasoning course pointed out, the human brain has all sorts of tricks to save energy... but they are counter-productive when you actually NEED to re-evaluate things.)
Heck, even just writing out explanations that you could use to bring someone in on your plans tends to have that effect.
(And, in your case, I don't see sharing the plans as a concern since what makes your stories wonderful is the experience of the journey... which won't get spoiled by knowing the planned route for the trip... especially for ASAtV, given that the broad strokes are already known from AVAtS.)
Also, feel free to ask me. I've done the "plotting consultant" thing with various friends and I have a bit of experience finding the most useful questions to ask to make progress. (Just give me a week to re-read the relevant stories if you take me up on that offer.)
We believe in you!
Honesty its just good to hear your doing OK.
Glad your doing well. Just have to say you're one of my favorite authors! I've bought books that had less care taken in their writing than what you and other here have produced. That said, if you feel you need to move away from your current projects, I nor anybody else wouldn't think less of you for it. I simply look forward to what you work on next, whether it's your current stories or something completely new, fimfiction or no.
At the risk of sounding trite, I think 1,000 followers, over 2.500 upvotes (and a mere 61 downvotes) on your first submission--and what looks to my admittedly untrained eye to be similar ratios on your second and third big stories--is a pretty good indication that your work is quite well thought of by the mob
.
But I also understand that such approval means little againt that incessant, self-criticising voice in your head that murmurs a constant stream of "not good enough, why isn't this better, this isn't what it should be." To which I can only offer that you do what you need to in order to feel right about yourself; if that's taking your time, then so be it. And if that's walking away entirely, then I'll be sorry to see you go and your stories end.
Glad to hear you’re still at it.
Just please, please, please do not fall into the trap of feeling obligated to make the chapter seem worth the wait. That only exacerbates the issue.
Good to know your not dead. I have the same problem with that cycle of thinking as well. Unfortunately the only why I've fond to get out of it is to put out the work as is even if I think it doesn't compare or is even inferior to what I did before. It's far too easy to get held up in the 'this isn't good enough' mind set. The only thing that seems to work is to just putting things out their as flawed as I see the.
4809704
Can confirm: I'll be reading them first thing when they're updated.
I don't know what I can say to help you feel a bit more positive.
I'd like to say that AVAtS is one of my favourite fics, one that exhausted me after reading it because I marathoned over a few days and read every word in it when I'm more used to skim reading. But I know that my one compliment, nor any of the 2,515 upvotes on your story can do battle against that voice in your head.
Just don't feel guilty. This is a hobby. Practically no-one gets paid to write fanfictions (with a few exceptions that use patreon), the result being that most stories don't get updated as much as we'd like, whether because life got in the way, because of writer's block or a myriad of other reasons. We'll all be perfectly happy when you manage to post the next chapter.
Well, I'm just happy you're still alive. And I can assure you that, since your stories are among my most cherished favorites, I'll be there when you update.
And I have to agree with 4809975 . As you said yourself, it's a downward spiral, so no matter how you improve your work, it will never be enough and thus you'll get stuck. It's like a plug you have to pull before the rush can start up again... or something like that.
Oh boy, lots to say here.
First, like many others here I'm glad to see you sticking around and at least trying to continue this. The steady decline of the quality of the show has driven away most of the best authors, so I'm glad to see that at least your stories still have some life in them.
Second, I'm not sure what you've tried for inspiration, but you may want to try to just read through what you've written on both AVATS and ASATV for enjoyment without thinking too deeply about it to avoid that critical trap you are stuck in. I'd also generally focus on that over Pinion because it is generally more firmly established from the first story and generally has more stuff written so it should be a more straightforwards project to work on and it will be a lot easier to bring someone else up to speed if you decide to ask for help.
Third, you may want to go back and rewatch some of your favorite season 1 and 2 episodes to see if you can drive off the later stupidity and recapture the inspiration that kicked this off in the first place.
Fourth, if none of that works, I strongly recommend taking 4809842's offer to help because he is one of the sharpest people on this site and should be able to help you sort things out and start moving forwards.
Listen. Your fics are the most read fics I've read & reread on this site. Just the other day I was thinking of rereading the adventures of Victoria and her struggles because I loved the friendship she discovers along the way.
You have nothing to apologize for taking time for yourself & to find what you truly want. I know I've wanted to apologize the same to my followers for my own year & but half long hiatus but trust me when I say, they're just happy you're here and want to be here. I personally am elated you're are here and no matter how long it takes I'm glad you're still around. Thank you~
Glad to hear you're still okay, willing to wait for more of your writing.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: don't push yourself. If you need help with anything, the comments before this one shows you that there are dozens of people willing to help you. You'd be surprised how many of us are still emotionally invested in Jessica and Ebony's story.
I know external perspectives don't really help much in this sort of situation, and that positive views always weigh a lot less than any negative ones you receive (or create for yourself in your own head), but here I go anyway.
I found your stories pretty early on in my time on this site, and fell in love with them. I've gone through an awful lot of stories in the years since, and yours are some of the few that I'll regularly find myself coming back to, and still rank among my all-time favourites. Even unfinished as some of them are, you've created compelling narratives, and characters that have been a pleasure to meet. You've clearly got a talent for this, even if you feel like what you're currently producing isn't "good enough".
I've derived a great deal of reading pleasure from your work as it exists today. That wouldn't be diminished if you chose to end things here, and I sincerely thank you for what you've produced up to now regardless of what you do. I'll gladly read anything else you choose to produce as well, but - especially being a slow-as-heck writer myself - I'm not going to think less of you for taking your time, or for deciding that the stress isn't worth it and bringing things to a close. I know random strangers on the internet aren't good sources of moral support at the best of times, but I'm sure there's plenty of people here who'll sit and listen to you vent or just lend a supportive ear if you feel the need.
I'd like to see Ebony's side of Jessica's journey, and I'd like to see Viktoria build a new life for herself, but you don't owe anyone here anything more than you're willing to give. You could choose to publish something that's imperfect; you could persevere and try to make that ideal chapter a reality; you could choose to walk away; but, as the song goes, if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. Whichever road you take, in any case, you've already made me (and, based on all those little green positive ratings, a lot of other people) happy. I hope you can make yourself happy too.
Honestly thats one of the main differences between a hobby and a profession. Glad you didn't die at least.
Hello!
Just to chime in with the rest of the herd here (horse pun unintended...); you do what you need to. I enjoy your writings and hope you continue. There's a million different ways to get over this block, I just hope that writing doesn't become a chore; and that's more for you than the hope that your stories won't die. It's obvious that you love to write, and there's nothing worse than a love turning to hate. But I think we've made it clear that we love your stuff and are willing to wait...
Have a Pinkie Pie, maybe she'll cheer you up!
Take heart, there are those of us who wait patiently for updates. You do you and bring your best, and we will happily consume every wonderful word!
Nice to see that you're still around and kicking. A Voice Among the Strangers (and related stories) remains one of my top favorite pieces of fanfiction on this site even after all this time, so it's awesome to hear you haven't given up on them.
You take your time, those who are still here are those that had the patience for it
Writing is hard. As is art. The cycle of work, self-criticism, and then something akin to depression may seem impossible to break. Trust me, I know, as an artist myself, and as a former writer, it can be hard to feel like something you've made is good enough. The truth is, it probably is good enough. You can nit-pick and re-work stories (or art), but there is a point in which you just have to say 'ok, i need to just toss it to the crowd and let the chips fall where they may'. I know this is starting to sound like the opposite of supporting...but the truth is, making art/writing shouldn't be forced and shouldn't cause too much stress (unless you have strict deadlines...). once you start to force it too much, it stops flowing freely and starts feeling like someone else is doing the writing. sometimes that means taking a break, even a long break, but eventually you go back to your work, because you like the feeling of making something that is truly your own.
I am glad to hear that you aren't giving up, I have known plenty of people who give up once something gets too hard. It shows that you really do care about art and writing. I look forward to whatever it is you create in the future.
And if you ever need help, don't be afraid to ask people for help editing, or just to bounce ideas off of. If you try and do everything on your own all the time, you'll end up burning yourself out.
Anyway, sorry for the loooong and rambling comment.
--C.Storm
Don't worry too much, I'm sure you'll put out good work (as you always do).
I'll still welcome the next chapter with positive thoughts (and probably a lot of excitement).
I only just noticed this blog update, as I was checking again in the event that you actually had written something here. Which, you have, clearly XD
I can totally understand, with my own limited experience with writing, wanting to continue, but having one issue or another that distracts or blocks you in some way. For me, it's more procrastination and willingly letting myself get distracted, it has now been a year since I last wrote a chapter in my 'next' story (I haven't posted it yet, wanting to build up some chapters before publishing. Good thing, considering my massive lagging on it).
Especially considering they've been left as long as they have, it must be hard to get back into the groove and get the same sort of flow and feel.
I really like the Stranger stories (And I will read Pinion, when and if you finish it!), and I recommend them both at every opportunity, even if one of them is incomplete. And you know what? Those that have said they've read it (and there were a fair percentage of those, when I brought it up) have nothing but nice things to say.
I actually re-read the incomplete Stranger Among the Voices a week ago, and I'm re-reading 'A Voice Among the Strangers' now.
For whatever pressure you feel it puts on you to complete it (sorry, don't want you to feel bad), please know that there are a lot of people that will read it, and I would be first in line. TBH, I'll probably lose my mind on seeing a chapter update for the story, and rush to add it to my Kindle for consumption, post-haste.
In my opinion, it doesn't matter how long you take to write the story. Personally I would rather wait a year between chapters rather than have a good story killed off, worst thing that'll happen is I have to read the story over again to remember where the story is at (which, lets be honest, isn't a bad thing with good stories like yours). So just take your time, write what you feel you need to, in however long it takes. The story is your art, and we're just the peanut gallery who ooooh and ahh :P
Ebony literally became my go-to username for videogames. Needless to say, I love your stories. Excited to see you keep working on asatv even if takes months to finish.
something you could do is put your VERY rugh draft to a proofreader before you even start to think about what you wrote and then ask them what they think about it, that way you might just cut off the circle of regrets that keep you trapped. (though it might come with its own problems)
You write about several issues with writing but I can say that they can be overcome. For example you already know how the story progresses and ends, so you can fight a writing block from this side. There are also methods to find why you are angry and frustrated with your writing and how to implement changes to get rid of these negative feelings.
As a person who likes both stories about Ebony very much I would like to see the ending of the second one. So if you are interested in getting an advice please let me know. I believe you can solve these problems faster with assistance from other people.
Everything you have written I have read with a smile. Keep your head up and I will happily wait for more.
Second guessing everything you do is the best way to lose confidence in yourself...
Forever
i12.photobucket.com/albums/a224/Tifi78/Pony/pinkie-apple.gif
As many folks have already mentioned, there are a ton of proofreaders and editors who can help. All you need do is ask, and have something for them to look over.
You are not alone.
In the meantime, I think it is safe to say that everyone here really likes your
manework. All of it. Yes, even that first chapter. And we're quite happy for you to take your time if what you produce in the future is even half as good as what you have already written.And even if nothing else happens, thank you for creating a fun and entertaining world full of vibrant and engaging characters.
Glad to see that you're not giving up. At this point, even a simple rehash of the events of the original story from the Pony's perspective would satisfy me; going the extra mile would be gravy.
That said, it's been six months since your last status update, soooo
Wow, I wasn't expecting this. For some reason Solitary Pinion has really stuck in mind.
I was out of contact for a bit myself. Life. Hope your doing well.
So... It has been YEARS. I left the Fandom proper ages ago. But, when I want something to read, I invariably come back here to this site. I come here because there is something that is just... INCREDIBLE to me about what various authors have managed to do with the base subject matter of this show and their stories. After all this time, your work still gets stuck in my head and gets a reread every now and again. Wherever you are, and whatever you've become, I sincerely hope you never stopped writing. You were/are good.
just wanted to say that your readers are still here if you ever come back
You are writing for free, the worst that happens is we feel we got what we payed for from your work. Perfection is for books we pay money for, Fanfiction is where we are greatful for that a work is not Draco/Harry badly written slash or dark! Superpowerful Naruto.
If your fans do not like it (unlikely) than you can say you will give them there money back.
Con lo que esta durando este bloqueo, sugiero que vayas a algun tipo de terapia, para ayudarte a descubrir que causa el bloqueo, porque 7 años de bloqueo no es normal
If you ever read this I want you to know that we all loved your work and are greatful for what you gave us. Thank you and be well.
I'll continue to hold out hope for SAtV.
VAS was an amazing fic from the height of the Fandom.
They won't abandon these fix proceeds to abandon said docs.
If you ever feel like your work is not appreciated, it is, and even in 2024, we're still here if you want to continue. :)