Something I did in my free time. · 2:00am May 2nd, 2014
I accepted a challenge to describe a picture.
Scout was wearing a featureless black baseball cap—he named it Brain Bucket. Clamping Brain Bucket to his head was a headset with a single orange speaker on his left ear; connected to it was a thin microphone that hung suspended in front of his mouth. His mouth formed a shape that could only be compared to the daft, vacant smile that one smiles when one is simultaneously releasing his bowels and bladder after a forty-eight hour toilet ban. Moving on to his pale pasty complexion, his skin was a horrible combination of ridiculously smooth and unrealistically edgy. Slapping it would feel like hitting frozen custard. The nose in the middle of his face was the kind that would gladly hit the ground with the force of a sledgehammer, as it was still in the process of digesting the latest sniff of crack. Deeply sunk into Scouts face above his suicidal nose were his eyes; his blue wall eyes were staring at everything and nothing. If one looked into his left pupil, he could see out Scout’s right ear. If one looked into his right pupil, he could see a large empty cave—Scout’s cranial cavity.
This was obviously something with the mental faculties of a porkchop.
The issuer of the challenge responded with this:
A face for a face. The unofficial seal of "You had my attention and made me laugh, which by the way is kind of difficult to do." It's a working title. Might shorten it, just a bit!
Was bored, don't judge.
And now I want to eat a pork chop...
You don't sniff crack.
2068912
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2070389 Lyra doesn't understand! I need pork or I will explode!