'Dat Next Chapter... · 8:06pm May 18th, 2012
Or, The Continuing Adventures of Invictus the [strike]Bum[/strike] Respected Fanfic Writer in Canterlot.
It was a beautiful morning. Celestia's sun painted the sky in vibrant hues of orange, pink, and purple. Which was weird, since the sun had been up for hours.
Huh... I thought, as I eyed the bottle of disinfectant alcohol in my free hand, That's probably not good.
A chill breeze swept through my hair, setting my book-themed tie aflutter and wafting away the scent of alcohol that permeates my person. The night guards had claimed to have a process for distilling drinkable booze from the disinfectant, but I was starting to think they had overstated their claims.
Oh well.
I checked the knots attaching the cord to my harness for the... actually, that was probably the first time I checked those. Good thing, too, or that loose one might have caused an issue later. At least the 45 story fall would have been painless.
Another, stronger, breeze swept by, and I clutched the sheaf of papers in my other hand more tightly. Submitting those on time was the whole reason I was up here, and damned if I was going to let some extant wind rip them from my grasp.
Well... that, the reinforced doors, barred windows, and guards with tasers ordered to attack on sight were the reasons.
There'd been some form of miscommunication, apparently. How was I supposed to know all those cakes had been part of Celestia's private stash? Or that her resultant, rage-fueled tantrum would burn down an entire wing of the castle? Someone should have put up a sign! A bigger sign! For people who used windows as their main form of ingress!
I shook off the negative thoughts, teetering only slightly on the ledge I stood upon. The silly buggers had only themselves to blame for failing to bar any windows above the 35th floor. And Luna had only herself to blame for living on the 40th.
"I will not be denied!" I slurred at the skies and leapt gracefully - or fell tumbling, depending on who you ask - from my perch, soaring through the empty space between buildings on an old, stolen bungee.
I was neither flailing my limbs in panic, nor wailing like a little girl-banshee when I burst through the target window and rolled to a stop against Luna's bed. My not-screeching was joined by the excited cheering of Luna, obviously impressed by my valiant act of dedication to my craft. The other option being startled screams of terror, but that made no sense to me in context. I didn't want to disturb her too much, though, - a princess of the night needed her rest, after all - so I eloquently and drunkenly grunted the circumstances for my entry as I politely stapled the next chapter of my masterpiece to her horn.
Her pleasant cheers of admiration became cuss-laden screams of rage... probably because I had only handed her the first half of my latest bit of genius.
"I'll have the other half to you by Monday, the 21st" I promised, "... Probably! Tuesday, at the latest!"
With a spring in my step at a job well-done, I cut the cord and stumbled out of the room, once again rushing away to my current balcony-home before my rambunctious fan-guards could show up. I had a busy schedule, after all, and no time for autographs at the moment.
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TL;DR
Update coming on Monday, the 21st. Possibly Tuesday depending on certain events. Hopefully this bit of terrible writing will keep you [strike]demanding bastards[/strike] amazing fans mollified over the weekend. See you then, kids!
Are you really angry with some people..?
I can't tell...
124568
Haha, no. I was just very drunk. In all seriousness, I love all my readers, even the naysayers and trolls.
I also occasionally feel the need to post in my blog in a non-blog format. I'm just a silly bastard like that.