Fic recs, March 2nd! · 3:10pm Mar 2nd, 2014
Is it just me, or did last week drag on forever? <.< Time's supposed to fly when you're having fun...
H: 2 R: 1 C: 2 V: 0 N: 2
Luna Takes a Shower by LittleAngelStocking
Reading by MultiFanficADay
Reading by Captain Sand
Reading by VisualPony
Reading by Agent0Fluffy
Genre: Luna vs. Technology
I think it may be high time to scrub my audiobook list of Pony Does X stories. I’m sick to death of them, as portions of Fimfiction were a good year or so ago, when they were popular. (Spoiler: The scrubbing only removed one story. :B) This one you can probably guess most of from the title: Luna discovers that wondrous creation known as the shower, things go horribly wrong. Of course, there’s no explanation given for why Celestia’s shower has a boiling tsunami setting, but who needs to know that, I mean really? The only surprise in this story is that it isn’t even remotely sexual. I was expecting something along those lines, but the author apparently was able to restrain themselves.
Not Recommended
Tragedy of the Pegasi by Jakob1029
Genre: Bad
I read this story because Blueshift insisted I do so, and I was all set to hate him for it because this story is bad. Then I got to the end. As it turns out, this story is the origin of Terry; sorry for ruining it for you. I laughed hard enough that I, like Rainbow Dash, nearly had a heart attack. That’s not to say this is quality badfic; it is not comparable to, say, a kingsquirrel, not so bad that it’s funny (until the end). I think this is legitimately a person’s first time writing. (It reminds me of a fic I once helped a first-time author with.) I really can’t list the things that are wrong with it, save for “everything”. Most mind-numbing among the mind-numbing missteps is an entire other story referenced as a throwaway (like so many other things in this piece) that explains what was going on. Conoisseurs of badfic might want to add this to their collection, but everyone else should steer clear unless you’re interested in what inspired an obscure (if supremely hilarious) old joke.
Not Recommended
Maidens Day by bookplayer
Mature: Sex
Genre: World-building
Coming into this story, I was thinking that I wasn’t all too interested in the prospect of pony fertility rituals, but I’m pleased to say, that changed upon reading. This is a pretty incredible piece, combining tremendous understanding of the world even as the author reshapes it, with an exploration of the importance of rituals, how having to live up to expectations and responsibilities can invoke self-doubt, and some of the most epic sex I have ever read. It truly ascends above the level of “complicated excuse for AppleDash sex”, and I would put it in league with Romance Reports in terms of “sex necessary for plot”. Because, while I could have done without some of the details (thank you, Twilight, for being grossed out by everything for the reader’s sake), with all the hype and importance built up around this ritual, we need to see it all come to a head — puns SO not intended — via the hows and whys to truly understand it. Interestingly, while I was really thrilled with how much the pegasus side of the ritual involves their militaristic history — have I mentioned how much I love that subject? — it was actually the earth pony ceremony that I enjoyed more. Furthermore, I was impressed at how seamlessly the author was able to incorporate homonormativity (or at least, acceptance of homosexuality in the culture at large) without resorting to identity politics. My only complaint about this story, minus a colon here or there, is the characterization being a tad wonky near the start. I mean, there’s a line in Rainbow Dash’s section about there being ponies in Equestria faster than her that it almost broke me; there was some stuff in Applejack’s first chapter that likewise made me scratch my head. But given how deeply this delves into each of their characters, any bobbles early on ultimately have no effect on the outcome. This isn’t the first mature-rated, sex-tagged story to get my highest rating, that being SleeplessBrony’s Looking Lively. But as that story was more about shoving things into places for the sake of comedy, rather than crafting a scenario wherein sex literally moves the world, this story represents a first. (Just know that if you’re not comfortable reading about pony bits in detail, I won’t judge you for skipping this. Honest.)
Highly Recommended
What We Leave Behind by Golden Vision
Reading by Scribbler, et. al.
Genre: Character Piece
This is just a really great look at Shining Armor the day he leaves for Royal Guard Academy. You can’t ask for a nicer exploration of the scenario, really. The characters are vibrant, and there’s a nice combination of celebration and emotion that doesn’t get too sappy. (Just a tad by the end, but really, that’s hard to avoid given the situation.) Of course, filly Twilight is adorable as heck and there’s some great brother/sister bonding, but what really caught me are the side characters. Shining’s mom is something of an ur-mom, and I really liked her portrayal. His friends likewise jump off the page, reminiscing and joking with him in their last few hours together. At its core, this is a very simple story about a family changing, something most families with children will go through one way or another. It’s universal and it’s memorable, given that I remembered it from a rather old writeoff.
Highly Recommended
I Miss You by Silver Cloud
Reading by MultiFanficADay
Reading by Scribbler
Genre: Epistolary Sad Shipping Future Fic
This is a series of letters from Rainbow Dash to Twilight, who, it becomes quickly clear, is dead. The interesting thing is that they’re presented in reverse chronological order, but I have to say, that wasn’t a terribly worthwhile choice. Like I said, Twilight’s dead; it becomes obvious at the start of the second letter, leaving the rest to fill in the details. (The way she dies is kind of… I really don’t get what the author was getting at, it was odd.) I think that this story would have been better presented from start to finish; that would change the focus from “how did Twilight die?” to “how is Rainbow Dash dealing with her death?” And that, I think, is the more compelling part of this piece. It does a good job both of representing a realistic relationship (though admittedly, I wish she’d lost Twilight the usual way instead of just having had her taken away; not enough people write that kind of thing) as well as stages of grief, both for Rainbow and the rest of the girls. I don’t want to praise this too highly, but I feel like I did enjoy it, and at least for a future fic, it’s pretty good.
Recommended for Shippers
Memento Mori by Pale Horse
Reading by Scribbler
Genre: Dark
This is a really great exercise in in medias res. We start off with Applejack laying in bed, dying. Then Flutterbat shows up, and I spent the rest of the story being very, very confused as to what, exactly was going on. A lot was implied, certainly, but so much is happening that I can’t glean the details of; it was somewhat baffling. And I’m going to need spoilers for the rest of this (it’s a fifteen-hundred word story, just go read it). Is she actually offering a vampire-style kiss of eternity? I’m only confused about this because she derisively calls Twilight “an immortal”. Well, isn’t that what she is too? Or does becoming a batpony just cure everything wrong with the body? And while that’s confusing, there are a couple other small things that don’t work. Twilight exclaims “What good is having the power of an alicorn if you aren’t going to use it to help anypony?” And then she doesn’t use her alicorn powers to help anypony. Also, it may just be headcanon, but I was a little surprised that Applejack actually agrees to Fluttershy’s proposal at the end. She’s always struck me as being willing to face the consequences of living a natural life over extending it via magic or what have you. This was written for an EQD event that had a hard word limit of 1500, hence the shortness, but given that limit, the author was able to do quite a lot. Despite a few misgivings, I rather like this on the whole, for the tension, the immediacy and the atmosphere.
Recommended for Light Reading
Words Failed Her by Nonsanity
Read by the author!
Savvy members of a certain other online community will recognize Nonsanity’s voice as that behind Fluff and Such Puppetry. And as can be expected from someone versed in online video production, this is quite a good reading, with sound effects and voice effects and the whole shebang. This is really great. :D
Genre: Magical Adventure
This is a really clever idea: Twilight encounters a cognitohazardous contagion with a vector in written words, and in order to immunize herself against it, she casts an illiteracy curse on herself. Making the “enemy” be books, and then depriving Twilight of the ability to read just… that’s a great setup. All I can say is I don’t feel like the most is made of it. This story feels incredibly short, wrapping up in just two chapters. I suppose it’s got a show feel in that sense (though not necessary show-tone, being somewhat somber and tense, albeit with one really good joke near the end), but I’m also pretty sure we can all point to at least one episode and go “That needed to be two.” For what’s here, though, I can’t find fault. Things wrap up easily, but the concept remains interesting all the way through and we get to see Twilight struggle with magical illiteracy for which there is no counterspell. While I definitely feel like this could have been a much longer adventure, I was very much looking forward to reading the story and I can’t say I’m disappointed.
Recommended
I loved Words Failed Her so much.
This past week did take forever. Ugh, just one more until Spring Break... Also, nice to see you liked Maidens Day. Bookplayer can write a mean story, and it's probably my favorite "sex with plot" fic alongside Romance Reports.
Maiden's Day: A story based on a fertility ritual... that only includes partners that could never have a child. Like, okay, for real, I know that the author just wanted to write a lesbian sex story. I actually met with her at Bronycon, and found her to be very intelligent and witty. But the reasoning given in story for no males allowed is flimsy at best, downright retarded at worst.
"Oh, we don't want to worry about having children, so no boys."
Okay, well, um... can't the dudes pull out? Or use a condom? Or use some spell to prevent pregancy? Or if this ritual is really so advanced and mystical or whatever, wouldn't it know to not let the girl get impregnated? Or hell, Dash and AJ don't actually have sex, do they? They have oral sex. So, why can't a guy and a girl do that? Or if you really want to push the... ugh, "homonormative" message, why not two dudes? Two women having sex is a beautiful, magical thing that can create life across the entire world... but two dudes can't have that kind of magical connection?
But even beyond that, if you really, really just didn't want to write a heterosexual clopfic, then why not have guys compete... but lose? Hell, it could have done a great service to the AppleDash ship! Imagine Caramel wanting to fuck Dash just because, not due to anything about the ritual, or if Thunderlane was a vindictive ex-boyfriend of AJ's. Then, you could have had the other fight extra hard to be the winner.
But no, we have some contrived, hand-waved reason why males are obviously the inferior species and are second-class citizens and all should bow before the mighty vagina, unless you're a male, then go sit in the corner, you filthy breeder. It's my same beef with the Winningverse and it's inane magical lesbian fart babies: Nature favors females in every respect, allowing them to do things that males can't do because reasons. People like to claim that it's all about what you said, having a more fair or accepting view on homosexuality, but all the little biology or physics breaking things that lesbians can do, gay stallions cannot because fuck you stop asking questions and bow to your female overlords.
Okay, yeah, I'm overreacting a bit. Sorry. It is well-written and the sex is well done, but that little thing just pissed me off and took me out of the story.
Almost glossed over Memento Mori because of the other Memento Mori that I didn't like so much. I shall add it to my list—the one that doesn't seem to be going down at all lately.
You know, I read these every time you post on them, part to see what you think of various stories, and part to see if you've stumbled on one of my stories. I was always kind of afraid of that, that you might find one I'm less proud of and hate it and I'd have to be like "no, no, I don't suck! That wasn't the one you should have read!" and then I'd feel like an idiot and yeah...
But that didn't happen, and I'm sooo happy! Because now if you ever find one of the bad ones, you'll know it's not that I'm a bad writer who gets too much attention (I'm just sometimes a bad writer who gets too much attention.)
Thank you for the lovely review.
1887950
Somehow I knew I'd find you here.
I won't get into this much, but... dude, it's a religious ritual. Religious rituals aren't known for making literal sense (and the story explains how it makes symbolic sense.) And these things are often one sided in terms of gender, in ways that don't always reflect the overall views on gender. The fact that in Equestria religious rituals are actually magical doesn't mean they have to work differently in terms of how they evolve.
And the homo-normitivity I included (and tend to include in my stories) is bisexually oriented. It was stated in one line that Mrs. Cake was a Flower Maiden, and I think she's okay with stallions too. So no one has the breeding camps running, yet. They just do a religious ritual that, from another culture's perspective, doesn't make a lot of sense, just like every other culture in any world.
1887950
I don't agree with most of your post, but this is the funniest string of words I have ever seen.
1887987
If ever I have a moment to get back to reading regularly, it's usually from oldest to newest, so I always keep in mind that an author's oldest work is just that. Plus, I'm not grading authors anyway
unless they're named Device Heretic apparently. :B Glad you keep reading these!I couldn't get into Maidens Day because the worldbuilding didn't do it for me. It just felt too weird to have a ceremony that celebrated the relations between two of the tribes, but not unicorns.
1887987
Yeah, I tend to get a bit hyperbolic when posting. Sorry if I came off as too much of a douchenozzle.
But again, the religion thing just makes it even worse. What is it that makes two women so magical and beautiful that can't apply to two guys? As I just replied to a guy who sent me a PM accusing me of being a misogynistic asshole, it just reminds me of the double standard among a lot of males, that, "Lesbians? OMG, SEW TOTALLY HAWT HELL YEAH! Gay guys? EWW, GROSS, DIRTY FAGS!"
Now, I know that this was not a factor in your story!!! As I said, sitting down at Bronycon and discussing poniponiponi for like two hours was a high-point of my con experience. I know that was not in any way, shape, or form meant to be the message, in either context or subtext. But that story reminded me of that, and it set me off a bit.
Iunno, the whole thing just felt a bit flimsy to me. As I said, ti was a well-written story, and despite my distaste for Inter-Mane Six shipping, I love your work, but it was just too silly for me to be able to take seriously.
Yay! Even if the best I can manage to get from you is a "Not Recommended", at least I can point you at stories you like!
Also, inre gender and religious ceremonies, thank you all of Catholicism. I love you, Catholicism, I really do. But as our pope says, we need way way better theology of women.
1888076
I can understand. I do wish I could include more gay male representation, there's way too much of that "EW, gays guys!" thing in MLP fanfic. I just tend to focus on the mane six, and shipping them together, so gay guys are hard to include in my fics as anything other than background.
Though, you have inspired me to make Spike gay in a future fic I'm working on. I had no idea what he was doing with himself, but now it turns out that he's the hottest catch among Canterlot stallions (while helping Twilight with her royal duties.)
But yeah, I actually find it more funny than anything that that particular story seems to hit your berserk button. I'm sorry it does, of course, I wish you enjoyed it more. But the level of rage always seems above anything the story actually says.
1888101
Yes. As I once more told the guy who PM'd me accusing me of vitriol, I tend to play up the "Drill Sergeant" personality for giggles, and yeah, sometimes I go a bit too far. I honestly don't hate the story, nor any random Mane Six shipfic. If I ever give off the impression, I humbly apologize.
People writing what makes them happy makes me happy. I encourage people to write whatever they want. You want to write the fifty-seven billionth TwiDash fic? Great! Go for it! Just be prepared for me to descend from the rafters, Brown Round blazing with righteous fury and knife hand at the ready, and tease you. I honestly just find it kinda fun to rage and fume over stories. Again, this is pony fiction; it's not a major issue, but treating it like one can be super fun sometimes.
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Also, the world needs more gay!Spike fics. I always liked him and Rumble for some reason.
Only one of these I've read is "What We Leave Behind." It was a very divisive story in judging. Most readers liked it and voted it into the top 5 judging round. Most judges wondered what the hell that story was doing as a finalist. To be fair, I haven't read any version of this story since then, so maybe it's much improved, but at the time, it was one of those stories that asked the reader to come up with all the emotional investment for what was happening. There's actually a document with the judges' rankings and any rationale they cared to write up (man, Cassius could type out some entertaining rants). I'm surprised it's not linked on the write-off site. I'd ask you if that got better on revision, but I'm guessing you're one of the people who liked it in the first place.
Oh man, I Miss You is one of those stories that I remember reading early in my time on Fimfiction. It isn't particularly unique, but it does seem to be at least a little memorable.
Words Failed Her was a nice story. My problem with it is that it was solid without having anything that really stood out beyond that. It's the type of story that tops the ratings on the site, but couldn't enter my top favorites.
And darn it PP, you can link to Mature stories:
So Tragedy of the Pegasi was supremely entertaining to read, yet you gave it a 'not recommended'? For shame!
1888061
It's totally explained, though most of the explanation comes in the final chapter, and it makes great sense, or at least I thought it did.
1888106
You've also inspired me to write a parody of Maidens Day featuring gay stallions what is wrong with you Jake I don't need to be writing this
1888119
The funny thing is, I could swear that I hadn't in fact liked it, but I found the ponychan thread, and apparently I did. :B
1888606
WHOA SHIT REALLY since when was that rule enacted o.o scuse me while I go back and relink all the mature fics in my journals :D
1888730
No, you're the one who said it was supremely entertaining to me, you enormous pudding :V
1888822
It's justified narratively, yeah, but it didn't work for me thematically.
1888061 1888822
Yeah, this aspect of the fic always sat in the back of my mind as I was reading. As well-written as it was on the whole, I was never able to forget the undertones racial tension and inequality, and I left the fic feeling melancholy. That said, it did give me an idea for a sequel, in which Twilight lets slip to Rarity what the rest of them were actually doing on Maidens' Day (as far as I know, the secret of what happens is only closely guarded because earth ponies and pegasi are used to thinking of unicorns treating it with revulsion and thus they just didn't bother to share it anymore) and gets the idea that since this is a more progressive age, there may actually be unicorns who want to take part nowadays and just haven't gotten the chance. I'd be interested in fleshing out the conflict between traditional earth ponies and pegasi who fear that the ritual will be ruined by unicorn inclusion and new-school unicorns who are upset at being excluded because of their race.
I wrote out the idea in this comment here, in case anyone's curious: 3737611
1889804
I don't think that link's working.
But I do think you're on to something good. I mean, I don't generally go in for people finishing or adding to others' stories like that, but it sounds like the kind of idea that would work in the world and with the author's original vision.
1888101 what say you?
Shipping.
Mane 6 femslash.
AppleDash.
Unnecessary headcanon and culturally opaque worldbuilding as an excuse for ceremonial sex rites.
Character puppetry.
Clop.
Not really entertaining for someone who reads FiM Fiction because they love FiM.
Maidens Day = Things DPV111 doesn't like.
Also since when can we link to clop in blogs again?
1889804
1890275
I'm of two minds. On the one hand, it's fanfiction, and I don't own shit. You're welcome to have whatever fun you want with it (That goes for parody too, Present Perfect.)
On the other hand, I'd be really iffy on whether it would fit with my headcanon on unicorns. There are a few canon/fanon unicorns I could see feeling that way... Vinyl Scratch, maybe Lyra... but I made the unicorn tribe act like that for a reason... I don't think they'd go for it.
The only thing that would fit with my personal unicorn headcanon is if, say, Fancy Pants thought it was a good idea, and all the other unicorns jumped on as a fad. But that brings up some unfortunate ideas of cultural appropriation, like how Trenderhoof and Rarity acted towards AJ in Simple Ways. Actually, that's honestly how I would see most unicorns treating the ritual if they got involved. That's it exactly.
So, I can't say I'm a fan of the idea. But, like I said, fanfic is open source. As long as you don't take passages from my fic, you're welcome to write or rewrite whatever you want.
1890275
Yeah, it turns out you can only link that way to other comments on this same thread, while I was trying to link to a comment I left in the story's epilogue. Since that won't work, I'm just gonna paste it here:
This was all my initial brainstorming from over two months ago, and some of this will change in light of bookplayer's comments on the matter.
1890350
That's a good point. This fic is probably going to require some soul-searching on my part and I'd feel like it wouldn't work unless I could successfully incorporate your perspective on the matter. I don't want to paint one side of the conflict as being entirely in the wrong or right here. I personally am really bothered by inequality between the pony races, even if that inequality doesn't actually hurt anypony, and I'd imagine that Twilight could stir up a vocal minority of ponies who have that same opinion (such as the catalyst for the story of Rarity feeling lonely because all of her friends are partaking in a festival she's not allowed to even know the details of).
But depending on how the story goes, it's entirely possible that this whole concept is doomed in-universe and Twilight will only succeed in getting lots of ponies riled up and hurting their pride. I'd have to reread the story and maybe ask for some details from you before I could settle on a particular outcome.
1890444
I'd be happy to help, feel free to ask questions any time.
I don't really feel sorry for the unicorns in this. I kind of feel like magic and history give them a lot of power in Equestria-- they're most of the upper class and nobility, they don't do winter wrap-up with physical labor, and they include ponies like Flim and Flam, who lack a respect for the traditional ways of doing things, and Trenderhoof who considers them "authentic" without bothering to care about or understand them.
So to me, the ritual was kind of meant to be the way that earth ponies and pegasi were important, other than "the ponies who make the world run for the comfort of the unicorns." This is where their power is, in being willing to respect the things that aren't clean and pretty but make the world turn. I don't feel like including unicorns really makes things fair.
1890497
That all makes sense, and I can see Celestia trying to warn Twilight about all of that when she catches wind of Twilight's idea.
Some other things I'm curious about with regards to this ceremony are:
-How your headcanon regards ponies who fall outside the bounds of traditional tribal behavior, like Fluttershy. I imagined that a number of unicorns who would be interested in Maidens Day would be outliers like these.
-The details of the Summer Sun Celebration and what makes it a unicorn-centric event instead of something for ponies in general.
-If the unicorns, way back when, ever instituted any festival traditions and special selection methods that got forgotten when they took themselves out of the ceremony, or if they just drew straws and drank to forget about it. I assumed it was the former and that Twilight would handwave the cultural appropriation issue by saying she was just bringing an old tradition back instead of mutilating current ones, but maybe I guessed wrong.
(First, sorry, Present Perfect, for hijacking your blog to talk headcanon.)
1890531
I agree that non-traditional unicorns would be more likely to take part.
It's actually my headcanon that it's rare for there to be an earth pony outsider-- the earth pony culture is built around acceptance and community, so unless they turned their back on their family and friends for personal gain, an earth pony would always be accepted.
I see unicorns as being the next most accepting, in a way. For all their snobbery, they always want to be the first on the "next big thing," so it's not uncommon for a unicorn who thinks differently to make a name in academia or the arts. At the same time, if it's not one of the ones who makes a name for themselves, they're the black sheep among their family, never invited to parties, and mocked behind their backs. I think that Rarity's parents kind of fall in that group, actually, with Rarity trying to rebuild her parents lost status.
I see pegasi actually as being the worst. If a pony isn't willing or able to try to be an ideal pegasus, they probably don't want to be anywhere near Cloudsdale (which is why pegasi like Fluttershy and Scootaloo are in Ponyville.) The mocking that happened to Fluttershy is common among foals, and adults are barely better (like the bullies before the Young Flyer competition, or Lightning Dust.)
Now, when those unicorns or pegasi are shunned, I think they tend to end up in earth pony towns and cities. One doesn't need to be good at flying or tough or stylish or connected to be accepted by earth ponies, which is why a town like Ponyville is such a mix, but is seen as kind of backwater by unicorns and pegasi.
It is actually for ponies in general, it just took the place of the unicorn part of the ceremony. Basically, Hearth's Warming Eve tells us that the unicorns used to raise the sun. The same way that the Flower and Cloud Maidens spread their magic to the earth and sky, the Sun Maiden used to send unicorn magic to the sun so they could raise it in the morning, and move the moon and stars at night.
Now, of course, Celestia and Luna do all the moving, and they can channel Maiden-level magic any day. So the Summer Sun Celebration is just the day she chose to channel that magic into the celestial bodies, to allow them to be affected by her (or unicorn, if needs be) magic.
I think that, waaay back, they had some kind of festival, but as it got closer to Hearth's Warming era, gathering the ponies for the festival and choosing a Maiden became more of a conscription and less of an honor to be fought for. (For example, it's almost certain that Hurricane would have been a Cloud Maiden, while it's equally certain the Princess Platinum would not have been a Sun Maiden.) At that point, their festival became more of a chore, and whatever ritual they used to pick turned into more drawing straws, until Celestia started raising the sun and they figured out that she could channel all the magic and take it over.
So, if they had a celebration, we're talking about something that was pretty much dead before Hearth's Warming.
1890730
(^_____________^)
Thank you. This is the first thing I've read in a while that's motivated me to think about my second fic on this site, which is still woefully incomplete. I think I need to do some more competing worldbuilding!
1890730
Yeah, I'm wondering if we shouldn't take this to PMs so we don't clutter up this blog. But I guess that's up to Present to decide.
1890300
Apparently we can do it now! It's in the FAQ! And yes, I did actually spend a good hour yesterday going back to November and re-linking all the clopfics I've reviewed. :B 'Cept the ones that don't exist anymore, obvs.
1890350
A cultural appropriation angle would be... interesting. <.<
As for the parody, I'm going to try and write it, if only because it's going to be making fun of Jake more than you. :3
1890730
Nah, 'scool. :O I saw the millionty-one comments left on this last night and I'm just glad it's not people bitching at each other for once. :3
1890813
No, please continue! I have things to add!
First, my big question is, what will happen when the Sun Maiden suddenly returns in an era where the Summer Sun Celebration exists?
And secondly, this:
There is something to be said about this, but I wonder. Tribalistic thinking doesn't occur often in the show and is generally relegated to "I sure wish I could use fancy magic to move all these apples sometimes". Yet the Sun Maiden was never considered a position of anything but shame. Granted, I suppose it's been long enough that any and all connotations will have been forgotten. I dunno, I'm just talking out loud.
Anyway, you definitely shouldn't go the "Fluttershy always had a crush on Rarity" route, that is bad shipping, sir, and it didn't happen in the original. I daresay you should go the "Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie don't get selected" route however, as having them all make it in would just be too predictable and too much like the original.
Of course, what if only one made it in? Or two? (I'd definitely leave Fluttershy out, both realistically speaking and as far as story potential goes.) If Rarity makes Sun Maiden and Fluttershy has to think about her having sex with whoever, that could quite possibly stir the feelings that have been building up over the previous year. Fluttershy didn't go into this thinking, "I can bang Rarity at long last!", but with all the excitement, all the surety implanted in her mind that she and Rarity would be Maidens, being denied that opportunity to consummate with her could show her what was actually important all along, i.e., not a title or a place in an ancient ritual.
Of course, I'm banging up on writing the story myself here, so I'll shut up. >.>
1892326
Yeah, I'm not sure what I was thinking with that cliched stuff. I'm thinking that a bittersweet tone might be called for here, with Twilight accepting that she can't completely change society in one year and Rarity losing out on the prestige of being the Sun Maiden but realizing that being with Fluttershy is something she values more (or something like that). It made me think that maybe the original selection process for the Sun Maiden would involve testing mental clarity and focus, with Rarity's inner turmoil/cognitive dissonance/getting cold feet being what ultimately makes her lose out on the position. The test could have gone out of favor because the unicorns' disdain for the position made sure that none of them passed it anymore.
And yeah, I can't see Fluttershy winning the pegasus competition even if she had a full year to train. But just trying her best and putting herself out there might be enough to do her some good anyway. How often do you see an underdog story where the underdog doesn't win the game? I also like the idea of Fluttershy wanting to improve herself but being scared to try, just needing the right incentive to finally get started, though I'm not sure how well that meshes with show canon or Maidens Day canon.
1893682
See, this I like more. :) Improving themselves for the sake of improvement and then finding out that what they wanted wasn't what they thought they wanted. That's how you do it!