I've Killed, Like, A Thousand Mimes By This Point · 11:03am Feb 23rd, 2014
Fanart! Courtesy of sugarush13.
Y'know, I finally watched Filly Vanilly, and I'm quite offended -- where are my Torch Song x Toe-tapper fics? Because if I gotta write about two musicians I'll do that myself.
In fact, hey, add that to the evergrowing list of story ideas that I have at the moment. Also, Torch Song and Toe-tapper are the two 'nameless' ponies of the Ponynotes, in case you were wondering. And damn that show, I was pretty FlutterMac for a while, but now I feel CheeriMac instead.
Dear God I have a severe case of first world problems. Scum like me is the reason why the Earth is such a harsh place.
Anyway, lately I'm having trouble writing proper comedy (I'm pretty busy with college, so whenever I try to write, my brain is just too tired and I end up messing up at the simplest things, like telling jokes). However, you can take a man out of the stupid jokes, but you can NEVER take the stupid jokes out of a man.
So, out of sheer boredom, here I leave a couple snippets from my college notes, because when I write them I can't help but spice them up a little. I used to write like this in my highschool exams, but the teachers told me doing it in college would be a bad idea (I never stopped doing this on highschool though).
[...]The causality link between the action and the result of such action is usually easy to point out (A shoots B in the face because A found B sweetly and lovingly sodomizing his daughter and there's so much a man can endure without reaching breaking point, so B dies -- here it's clear that A is the cause of B's death, and B is the cause of A's daughter walking funny for a couple days), but the dificulty appears sooner than expected, as the simple ontological causality can't be the justification for a jury to put a man in jail (case in point: A destroys B's left testicle with a ball-peen hammer, and while B is driving to the hospital he gets distracted and dies in a horrible accident when he crashes with a car filled with conveniently fat mimes. Who killed B? A, or the mimes?).
(From my Penal Law class.)
The likability of the product that varies depending on the different amount of stuff every package has is a fundamental part of the RMS point. The slope of the tangent measures the indiference curve. Example: If Robinson Crusoe has three fishes and one coconut and Friday has four coconuts but no fish, clearly Friday will kill Robinson and devour his flesh because white people are the devil and they should be erradicated. Plus Friday is clearly the superior alpha male in that situation. However, once the homicide is done, Friday might want to change shit -- as Robinson used to have more fish...
(From my Microeconomy class. Note that I'm whiter than toilet paper, so technically I'm not being a racist, thanks.)
Simple causality can't be the reason why we devalorate an action or happenstance -- as the human being is conscious, and for obvious reasons he's the only living being that can obey the human rules, it's mandatory that the action that we consider a crime is a human action, for two reasons: First, because the human is able to understand the rules and why he shouldn't break it. Second: TRY TO PUT A FUCKING TORNADO IN JAIL YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
(Again from Penal Law. Yes, the caps are in my original notes. This is verbatim.)
Omission is usually considered a crime equal to action when there's a legal, contractual, or praepositus actio. Or at least that's what our Code says -- everybody else seems to agree that the jerkass who saw a mime being horribly ripped to pieces by that giant shredder and just pointed at him and laughed his balls off instead of helping should get a little bit of punishment.
[...]Due to this, a familiar link is established as a reason to consider omission as a crime -- if you let your firstborn son die of starvation because it's either feeding him or watching Lost and the damn kid would start crying again in a couple hours anyway, you're going to get your sorry ass in jail. That was already happening before because people is not stupid and the jury wouldn't allow anything else, but now we have a fancy explanation to back that shit up.
(Penal Law brings the worst kind of humor out of me, I swear.)
Dear God, I am a horrible person. There's more, but no use writing everything here. Then again, this really helps me being better at studying. Hey, I'm in the top 5 of the entire year (and last semester was the first time I wasn't Top 3), so cut me a slack, this works. And I'm studying two careers, mind you!
Man, I'm a genius.
So, this is the first time a blog has made me follow an author. I was already following you, so I had to unfollow you first but still. And this is exactly how courtroom debate should go down.
You're sugarcoating it pretty hard. If I had written like this anywhere I would've been raped by my teachers. This blog simply shows that you can be smart but still an asshole the world wouldn't miss.
You, sir/madam, are indeed a genius. More power to you for making studying fun in your own way, and good luck with classes.
Can't put a tornado in jail.
Checkmate, atheists.
Huh. So, did you have to forfeit your soul when you signed up for the law course, or did they just take it after your first lesson?
Sorry, sorry, the lawyer joke felt necessary. I'll stop telling them after I start studying for it myself.
1869298
Never. A world without lawyer jokes is not a world I want to live in.