• Member Since 3rd Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen May 2nd

Maximus_Reborn


The creator of the Spiders and Magic universe and concept. Yay, I guess??

More Blog Posts150

Feb
19th
2014

Equestria Daily - Second Attempt! · 7:08pm Feb 19th, 2014

Okay. I have two strikes now, BUT I'm feeling pretty good about it. Here's the email.

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Dear Maximus_Reborn,

Thank you for submitting "Spiders and Magic: Rise of Spider-Mane" to Equestria Daily. At this time, I cannot recommend your story for posting. After some discussion with other pre-readers, I have come to these conclusions:

Continual POV shifts make the story hard to follow. This is especially true during action sequences that are otherwise easy to follow.
It's unclear why Twilight feels she needs outside help to stop the dragon when she and her friends have stopped dragons themselves. That they don't even try before resorting to a spell is confusing.

Similarly, it's unrealistic that she would stand around trying to figure out Spider-Man when the dragon continues to rampage outside.
Time is an issue, with the dragon's rampage potentially lasting longer than Ponyville can withstand.

Spider-Man's actions are often times at odds with what is happening, e.g. stopping for a cupcake in the middle of a pitched battle.

The dragon's motive is also unclear: it states that it is not meant to kill, yet the narrative says it is "prepared to end this battle".

Awkward or unclear phrasings, i.e., "an attempt to pelt him with whatever they could throw as he left by other people", "his uncle and former lover".

Note that these are all issues in chapter 1 and could represent more systematic issues throughout the entire piece. Please consult the Editors' Omnibus and the editing resources therein for assistance in reworking your story.

I will say that I was amused by the first chapter, especially with Spider-Man's dialogue, and I think this story could be a hit on Equestria Daily. This is your second strike out of a possible three, so please make it count.

Sincerely,

-Pre-Reader Noir Voice

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All right, folks! It's time for one more edit sessions, but it's not as bad as the first one! Let's make this next one count! :twilightsmile:

Also, if you haven't voted on my previous blog, please do so. Link Available Here

Chapter Fifty is nearly done! Expect an update soon!

Comments ( 19 )

May the luck be with you...

Meh. EqD is certainly not what it used to be.

The prereaders have always been strangely elitist and yet a lot of sub-par stuff gets through anyway.

I personally don't think you should worry about it, but good luck all the same!

To be fair though the fic's worst portion is probably that first chapter. Its been through a few retcons and edits since I first took it in, but from what I recall it didn't really measure up to the quality of later chapters. That said it is certainly not bad. It just sort of has a different feel to it than the rest of the fic IMO.

I might have to give the whole thing a reread when you do this last batch of edits though. Some of the retcons jumble up in my head and I can't quite remember what happened sometimes.

Like the chapter before the big race. For the longest time I was confused as to whether or not Peter went on those dates with Fluttershy and Rarity or not.

If it isn't too much trouble do you think you could post a blog after you retcon things with the cliff notes of the changes? Or maybe an authors note?

Anyway looking forward to the chapter bro. Until then!

If they don't accept you the third time, we could always kill them... I would :pinkiecrazy:

While I personally have little faith in the EQD pretenders, good luck to you! :pinkiehappy:

Dude, just let it go. Changing the story, which is fine by the way, just to satisfy those pricks at EQD is not worth it. Its time wasted on a dying part of their site. Let it be.

Good luck, but don't let it get to you if you don't get in.
Based on what I've been flat out told by others who have tried, and those who squeaked by, and the twits they had to deal with... Well, I am not even going to try EQD with my pony tales. And you know what? I'm quite OK with it. :pinkiesmile:

1853186 I'd be glad to join in.:pinkiecrazy:

Hey, EQD, this is popular, your loss, no go fuck off.

1853169
Nexodas has a point. I havent gone back to reread this to match up with the newer chapters. if its changed a lot can you release a special edition with version 1.1 of the draft so I wont get confused by the retcons?

Good luck man. :heart:

Just don't end up changing the whole story for someone else, otherwise you might not recognise your own work.

1853169
1853346
I wouldn't hate on the EqD prereaders for this.
Not at all.

This story does have issues, and the points the prereader brought up here are very valid.
From what I saw when editing this fic, no it doesn't belong on EqD as-is, and it's too long for a total rewrite to be practical.
To Maximus, I would say, finish the fic how you like, don't bother resubmitting to EqD, and try for better luck next time. Be glad and proud of how popular it is on fimfic, but realize that it isn't up to EqD standards.
(Sorry if I sound like a bit of an asshole there... I tried to tell the truth with as little sting as possible, but the truth does sometimes hurt, and I'm not going to lie to make people feel better.)

1854085
Being popular does not necessitate quality... :unsuresweetie:
And EqD is not trying to make a list of popular fics. They're trying to list good ones.

1854457
I'm not hating on them, I just have little faith in them :applejackunsure:
That being said, I do have some faith in them, as I have ran into two pre-readers who actually try and help the author... But the vast majority will shoot down a fic for pointless reasons such as they don't like a certain ship or they didn't agree with what a certain pony said in one of their lines.

1854457 As another editor of the story here and there, I completely agree with all your points. But the bottom line is, it doesn't NEED to be on EQD. It's not My Little Dashie; it's not meant to be some big, important piece that the whole brony fandom should read. It's meant for Spider-Man or general comic book fans. In fact looking at how popular this fic is on here already, I doubt EQD would bring THAT much new attention to it. Most people who have wanted to read a good Spider-Man / MLP fic have probably already found Spiders and Magic.

(P.S. If you want to reduce the "sting" of telling someone bad news, you should throw in some good news as well :P)

1854457 And this isn't a good fic?

But in my opinion, this story is better off not without Equestria Daily. "Standards" my ass. Sounds more like they're saying "You write stories OUR way, not your way."

1857281
*deletes first attempt at a reply*

Let me try that again...

It's not like you have to do everything exactly like EqD tells you, but they will deduct points for plot holes and poor characterization.

1857345

I wonder what your first attempt at a reply was.

I don't know. I've heard other people try to get their stories on that site and they've been booted off for this or that reason.

Mistakes aren't the issue, but it sounds like the people won't let room for improvement as the story progresses. If you goof up in the beginning, you can try to fix it through the story itself instead of rewriting. It sounds more like they expect it to be perfect right off the bat. And that sounds a bit demanding. At least from where I'm standing.

1857434
Well, my first attempt at a reply -- I realized, was arguing about weather the fic was good or not, which I don't want to get into.

they expect it to be perfect right off the bat.

They do! They want the whole thing to be perfect, and a promise of 'the second half is pretty good' isn't enough.

Is that so much to ask? :duck:

This is one reason I'm a huge proponent of writing and editing the entire fic before you ever publish a word of it. Doing so allows you to edit chapter 1 in response to lessons you learned while writing chapter 42.
Doing so takes dedication and willpower. It's not the easiest way. It takes you being the best you can be.
...and it brings rewards commensurate with the effort it demands.

(Of course, even doing it that way, it still took over a dozen tries before I was finally able to meet EqD's standards. As an aspiring professional novelist, though, I have to aim for perfection, and it helps me greatly to have people out there helping me to place a benchmark on it.

The one fic I've managed to get accepted to EqD, I worked on for about 9 months before ever publishing chapter 1.)

1857461

Because there's no such thing as real perfection, only people's opinions of perfection.

I think that's what I'm trying to make my point be. All stories will have something or other wrong with them, but doesn't mean the entire story is terrible.

At least in this reply it seems like they want to help you get this posted. You got this, its only a matter of time until you get it posted on Equestria Daily.

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