The Week of Silence: Speaking Freely Once More. · 10:06pm Feb 7th, 2014
Edit: Grammar.
Hooray.
The final observation is: most people I host conversations with have terrible speaking skill and the local environment does not fare better. I'm a decent speaker for one simple fact, I'm actively avoiding colloquialisms in my speech. Despite my efforts, my vocal and thought process practices continue to sit below par. The immediate surroundings are filled with those who speak as if they're from the internet. This includes outside of the Child Center.
And I am one of them. Now, I'm aiming to say, "And I was one of them."
I've set into motion the habit of pausing and thinking about my responses instead of being entirely impulsive. The challenge after this is to return to a level of conversation higher than Big Macintosh's occasional "Eeyup" or "Eenope." It's going to take a lot of work, but I've proven to myself I can take it one week at a time.
Now that I've firmly established what I'm up against, I can plan how to do better.
Observations:
-Sorry.
The amount of times necessary for an apology vs. the amount of times people apologize is a ratio I can't accurately put to numbers. What I can put into words, however, is the blatant misuse of the word "Sorry". Example:
A person is turning a corner and accidentally bumps into another person.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there."
Of course, there's a corner in the way. There is no way another person could have seen another turning the corner at the exact same time, assuming we're using solid walls here. Then, where does the apology come from? We felt we have done wrong, but the other person has done the exact same wrong. Saying "Excuse me" or "Oh, I didn't see you there" are both plausible responses. Yet, many apologize. I hear apologies so often that the word means nothing to me anymore, much like "pretty."
Stop apologizing for everything. Guys, stop.
-"Are you serious?"
This one's debatable. "Are you Serious?" runs in every conversation with a whimsical, angering, depressing, or emotionally afflicting tales. This brings up a tie from the last blog about people being insensitive about "believing" vs. "the truth." They're following up with not believing. And if it's not "Are you Serious?" it's another equally useless but occasionally endearing exclamation:
"Oh my goodness."
"That sounds terrible."
"Whoa, really?"
etc.
Live, Learn, Let go
~Cosmic
People say sorry to be polite. If someone bumped into me without apologizing, even by accident or without any way of avoiding it, I'd think the person was an ass.
1808009
That's the thing though, if I've done nothing wrong, including an accident neither of us could have avoided, I'm not going to apologize for it. "Excuse me" is just as polite and far more appropriate.
According to Dictionary.com:
1. feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.:
2.
regrettable or deplorable; unfortunate; tragic:
3.
sorrowful, grieved, or sad: Was she sorry when her brother died?
4.
associated with sorrow; suggestive of grief or suffering; melancholy; dismal.
5.
wretched, poor, useless, or pitiful:
The definitions above are (for) sorry. It's a cultural connotation that it's polite to say sorry. If that makes me an ass, for not apologizing when I've done nothing wrong, then I guess I'm just a polite ass. I do say sorry, only when it's appropriate now.
And making a mistake or a tiny confrontation does not merit a sorry in every scenario. It's nice, I agree, but the definition has been warped in my eyes.
1808098
It's social formality. Dictionary definitions shouldn't always be the place to look to when trying to find the right words to say to someone. Like when patronizing someone with kind words that are, right to the definition, polite.
It's also "funner".
I did that on purpose.
1808122
I understand what it is, but the way I've been brought up is to not apologize for every last little wrong I make.
I do still apologize, but "Excuse me" was invented so that when you bump into people, you didn't have to apologize >.>
1808124
k
Congratulations, you noticed what every linguistic philosopher, literary analyst, writer, psychologist, sociologist, and a fair amount of just generally observant people, have known for thousands of years.