Apology Accepted!

Once upon a time in the magical land of Forever Forest, just north of Happyville; there lived a writer. His name was Dave... This is his story.

That's probably the sort of thing that people expect me to write. But, it's not. Recently, I've been somewhat chided and rebuked for my brash and harsh (vulgar) commentary. Apparently I've offended a few of my readers, and while it isn't my intention to do so deliberately (yes it is, actually), I must make the argument that where ever possible, I do include disclaimers. Wouldn't want someone with a weak constitution stumbling into a fiery blitzkrieg unaware. Nor would I want a reader to get their feathers so ruffled that they fail to see the validity of my argument (opinions really) because of personal regards for the subject matter.

To this end, I offer an apology to those that deemed my last Blog Post to be vulgar, inappropriate, insulting, or unacceptable behavior for someone of my intelligence, age, and/or particular religious status. Mostly though, I am sorry that the disclaimers didn't seem to work. I'll have to look into fixing those.

To be brutally honest (which what this has really been about), I've never approved of censorship in literature. Movies and music are a different argument; and to me personally are a case by case thing. But literature... the written word—it should never be censored, dumbed down, diluted, or thinned.

I've gone on at length about how I detest second person fiction, and how I wish it would die a nasty horrible diseased-addled death, complete with vomit and spasmodic death throws. That's my opinion. I'm entitled to it, and I feel confident to use any configuration of words (appropriate or otherwise) to get my point across.

Let's tackle a particular beef of mine when it comes to erotic literature. Of course, you may be asking yourself, "Why do you read erotic literature?" The answer is that, I read any kind of literature. I don't limit my reading to just fan fiction, and the occasional article of Mental Floss. That being said, my issues with erotic literature, is that most of the people that write it (especially fan fiction) are usually doing it wrong. I detest exaggerated sex functions, and find them repulsive, and just idiotic. To me, when a piece of fiction (fan fiction included) includes description like, he came six times, and was ready for at least one more go around. I have to smile, and shake my head at the absurdity.

I know how male anatomy works. I'd hope to God that no man on earth has to do it six times or more, because from where I stand, we usually do most of the work; and that would be like running two consecutive marathons. We'd probably die, or have some serious problems with our penises afterward.

Now, what I did there was use correct, more acceptable language, because I'm addressing the adults of this place. I'm not talking to the thirteen year olds that don't possess a wide and rich vocabulary. Any good writer should know when, and how to address his audience. You reading this, are my audience. In this instance, using phrases like, "Galactic Fuckfest" to describe a man going six or more rounds in erotic fiction wouldn't be as readily acceptable. But, most of the time, I'm not talking to adults. I'm talking to nasty, perverted, post-pubescent fucktards that've only recently learned that they will live the rest of their lives, enraptured, enamored, and captivated by what a girl keeps covered up. So it is to those hormone-monsters that I have to use words that are short, and won't go too far over their heads.

The moral or ethical reasons behind whether or not I should write using vulgarity, is a matter of my own preference. "Fuck" is just a word. "Intercourse" is just a word. They both mean the same thing, and at the end of the day, neither one of them are proof positive that I myself are perverted, or vulgar. Why? Because, I am in control of words. It's what I do. I make them... they don't make me.