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DEAR CITIZEN,

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR RECENT PROMOTION TO RED CLEARANCE. THE COMPUTER HAS SEEN FIT TO MOVE YOU FROM THE INFRARED BUNKS INTO NEW, IMPROVED RED BUNKS. ALL HAIL THE COMPUTER AND HER GENEROSITY. FAILURE TO APPRECIATE HER GENEROSITY IS TREASON.

TO SHOW THE COMPUTER YOUR GRACIOUS THANKS, YOU WILL TRAVEL TO [BLUE SECURITY CLEARANCE REQUIRED] NEXT DAY CYCLE. LATENESS IS TREASON.

YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY TROUBLESHOOTERS FOR ALPHA CANTERLOT. YOU WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR TRACKING DOWN AND ELIMINATING MUTANT GRYPHON TRAITORS TO ALPHA CANTERLOT. YOU WILL BE PROVIDED WITH [GREEN SECURITY CLEARANCE REQUIRED] AND [YELLOW SECURITY CLEARANCE REQUIRED] TO ASSIST YOU IN THESE MISSIONS FOR THE COMPUTER. THE COMPUTER IS YOUR PRINCESS. TRUST THE COMPUTER.

REMEMBER;
STAY ALERT
TRUST NOPONY
KEEP YOUR LASER HANDY