Nomad's Requiem Rewrites (Rating: Teen) · 5:29pm Jan 11th, 2014
Hey guys, I know I slapped a hiatus status on my Nomad's fic a while back and a ton of you are probably curious when I'm going to pick it up. Well, the reason I stopped writing it was because Nomad's character became so bad that it could not progress forward with the plot without my editors wanting to stab him 87 times in the back and 103 times in the chest. Going with the suggestion to make it first person wasn't helpful, either, so that didn't help with it at all.
Along with the comedy thing: a lot of the jokes were probably a bit too negative. As in "they're only funny because Nomad is being a dick and it's cute." So, after I put it on hiatus, my editor suggested to just try rewriting it. I've been thinking these past few days that I should, and how I should plan it out. A lot of things are going to change, especially Nomad's character, and how he's introduced to Ponyville. The plot will be the same, because I know what I want Nomad to do and I know how I want the story to end. But, I gotta build to that point, first. Introduction.
Some things to note about Nomad's character (that I completely misjudged) is that he's not actually very cynical. He calls the hero ("you") stupid for trying to go up against him, but he's actually fairly smart and has some sort of omnipresence in Gielinor as in, he knows more about what's going on than you do. So, really, he's not a cynical asshole wisecracking ponies and being mad because he has to make a cake. He's fairly intelligent and would most likely assess the situation before heading on in, guns blazing. So, I really need to change his character entirely.
Things you should expect when I rewrite this:
-> Same type of introduction, with perspective changes, description changes, and dialogue changes (by intro, I mean the first chapter where Nomad is fighting "the hero")
-> A huge difference in introduction to Ponyville. No Pinkie Pie antics and no smashing signs because he's mad.
-> Nomad character change. Swapping out snide remarks, dick jokes, and super asshole negativity for intelligence and rationality.
-> Minor tweaking to the plot. I said the plot would be the same, but, it's going to be introduced a lot differently.
-> Less comedy. Jokes will appear here or there, most likely references to RuneScape things, but there will be a lot less jokes. 99% less, probably (I suck at comedy, anyways).
-> The story to NOT be reposted. Rather, I will rewrite and unpublish the chapters. I won't unpublish them now, but I will unpublish them when I have a few chapters edited and ready to be posted.
So, I hope some of you are happy that I will get back to this. Once I get a bunch of stuff done for Thanatos' Creed, I'll set up Nomad's as a side project again. I'll try to get a bunch of chapters ready for posting so that I can give you guys a nice chunk of words to read so you can catch up with the new plot and characterization. But, don't expect this anytime soon. I still need to catch up with Thanatos' Creed, like I said. But, I want you guys to know that I will be writing this later on.
Thanks for reading.
Ta~
Should also mention I might need a new cover art...
I support this decision 100%
you said you wanted nomad to be seen as intelligent and knows more stuff than he lets on, but thats actually how i saw him when i read it. i always saw him as looking at the adventurer as one would look at a kid that just figured out how to tie their shoes, so proud so happy, believing that he just accomplish something great and so forth. while nomad just looks at him like, omfg why are humans so fucking stupid! fina they wanna act like kids, i'll treat them like kids. and thats why he was a dick to them, which is funny cus its well deserved.
i'm really good at playing devils advocate and seeing the other side of things.
tbh this totally self assuring of superiority was why i faved your story, i hope that still stays a core personality of him. its so hard to find a character who honestly doesn't give a shit about what crap others say and has the intelligence to see it for what it really is: self serving gratituis moral BS. someone who takes a good look at whats going on and can see the other side of the coin and go 'oh i see what your saying, but under that disguise of purity and well intensions is just another powerful being like me trying to make the world do what you want, you think your so superior but in the end your actions are no better than mines.' like you said 'whats wrong with gathering power?' not a damn thing.
i hope i explained myself well enough. if you want i'd be willing to help you with ideas for justifying nomad and giving ponies a good anti-moral boot to the face. especially twilight, i fucking hate twilight.
1706614 The problem was that none of this was where the story was headed, as I recall. It pretty much relied entirely on putting Nomad against a pony, and then having him bitch about what was happening to him. Usually Pinkie. Few of its plot threads went anywhere, and there was surprisingly little reason for Nomad to do any of the stuff he was getting roped into. Apart from most of the humor being dead on arrival, it just felt unfocused and bland.
There's two ways to do a crossover, I believe. The right way is to use the world/characters of one setting as a lens to view and explore the themes of the other. The wrong way is to grab a character at random and stick him in Equestria, then try to milk "it's funny because he's not from around here" as the source of literally all the humor in the work. This story was, unfortunately, the latter. Considering the comparative quality of Shadowflash's Thanatos story, which I believe falls into the former camp, I was really saddened by this thing starting out on a sorta-okay note and then just kind of foundering and going nowhere. A new look is exactly what it needs, because of all those things you just listed - this needs to be a character study, not a "lol Nomad made cake" or "lol Nomad insulted pony."
Shadow, I hope you take into account what I mentioned before about unreliable narration, if you keep it first-person. Having the story relayed to the reader in a way that serves the character's own interest is something that doesn't get done often enough, particularly in fanfiction, and especially considering Nomad's character here... I think it's something you should at least be open to.
1706652
i actually agree with you with what was going on in the story, my praises for him was about his personality and what i think i perceived as his motivations.
Here's a tip. If you can't go with surreal imagery and humorous jokes, aim for the weird descriptions, lemony narrations, and odd metaphors in the pursuit of comedy.
That's all I have to say about the topic of comedy. On the topic of Runescape...
Phree stoof plox111eleven1
1706652
I just don't see it working in first person. I can't get over the hurdle of repeating myself over and over when I have to make the center character (Nomad) describe everything he sees, rather than 3rd person only describing the important stuff. I just feel it'd work a whole lot better from a 3rd-person perspective entirely.
1706614
As the game had it, Nomad was displayed to always have the upper hand. During the fight, you were basically being beaten down by his powerful attacks, and he obviously knew you were coming long before you entered. I may not make him cynical or bashful towards every object he sees, but I do plan on making him still have the whole "I have the upper hand, regardless of what you do" sorta thing. It's what was suppose to happen originally and then... Well, poop.
1707186
thats all i ever wanted
looking forward to it.
1707229
Like I said, it was I originally had planned out. Which was ruined by me. :v
1707186 I'm having a difficult time imagining it, but I don't know if that's just because I'm so heavily biased against what you had before. Looking forward to it.
And c'mon, dude, Armed is writing, I'm writing... you're the unproductive one? This is unexpected.
1709114
Wut? I'm writing. I've been catching up with Thanatos' Creed, currently. The draft is 50% done, maybe.
You wouldn't believe how much I appreciate this. I was so elated when I first saw the fic appear, but I was disappointed by the characterisation of Nomad and eventually lost interest in what was probably the only half-decent RS fic on the site. I can't wait to see what you come up with this time, because it most certainly had a lot of potential.
1712015
I'll try to not mess it up this time. No worries.