A Warrior's Tale (Happy New Years) · 9:18am Jan 2nd, 2014
I wonder if the Gods feel pain? It is a question I find myself pondering more and more. I wonder if Celestia and Luna and God all feel pain? Or is it, perhaps, beyond their mortal bodies… I wonder if ache and jealousy plague their souls, or if they hurt and yearn for the days since past? I wonder this because it seems to me that they are filled with contempt for those below them, only concerned that things are the way they like it.
You never know what you have until its gone. This is something everyone learns sooner or later in their life. It is one of the hardest lessons to learn, and perhaps the most demoralizing. I have learned this before, but now… I must learn it again, but this time, I don't know why.
I understand the reasoning for the harsh lesson before. I was rude, crude, and mean; things quite deserving of such a worthy punishment. Since then, I have been forced to change, but do not let my ramblings leave the wrong impression. Forced doesn’t always mean something bad happened. I was forced to realize the error of my ways, and it made me a better and stronger person. I had shed many tears over this event, and I grieved many days. I now know what it feels like to ache and beg for the pain to stop, for the days to end so I no longer have to live in torment.
I am no coward however. I may beg and cry and whimper, but I will never run. Too much lay on the line to run. It would be a simple task, to just end all the pain and move on to a better place. In fact, the thought sounds quite welcoming, doesn’t it? But I reiterate, that is the cowards way out. A man must stand up and face his challenges head on. He must dig himself in and brace for the coming storm.
I fear, however, that I might have dug too deep, and weathered this storm too many times. I cannot say for sure, but if there weren’t certain circumstances blocking my route out, I would have tried to move away from this storm, somewhere where I could hold out better. But I can’t. Again, too much remains on the line. I can’t run, and I can’t move to a better place to face these challenges.
So it comes to the question, what must I do? What must a man do to both protect himself and those around him, while trying to be happy in life? I have thought out almost every possibility to my predicament, but nothing comes to mind. The fate of several peoples futures rest upon my decision. I can break bonds that have grown so strong over the years, and forsake two people I hold the closest to my heart… or I can fight on, forever having myself withered away by the onslaught of the brutal storm I have fought so long.
What must I do? I have fought so long, I don’t think I know what I would do without it anymore. It has grown to define me as a human. I fight to keep my two loves in my life, but it seems to be a fading prospect. Should I just let them go, or do I fight on? I have lived the past 6 years of my life on a rollercoaster of ups and downs, all the while fighting the same fight. The first two years was only to achieve a basic goal: secure her heart. That was the beginning of the storm that has laid siege to my heart over the years.
It was a long and hard fought battle, with me taking many pains and lessons from it. But I grew stronger because of it. I learned many things, mainly that if you fight long enough, you will get what you seek, as long as it is in your heart.
It was at this point that I thought that I was the victor, that I had beaten the storm, and that clear days were ahead of me. And so it seemed, but my opponent is crafty, and strikes when I least expect it. It was because of the first fight I endured did I evolve myself into a warrior. A person who fights for what he believes, and will stop at nothing to succeed, no matter the cost. However, a year and a half of what seemed to be clear skies had left me complacent and left me with a false sense of security, something a warrior should never have. And when I least expected it, my old foe struck another blow, this time with a sneak attack, straight to my heart.
I was crippled and left to die, but my sinister enemy, as clever as he was, only pierced my heart. I was not destroyed. It was because of this, was I able to survive and fight. I was quiet at first, silently building my forces and regaining my strength. Only then did I strike again, and retrieving my love from the evil that has shadowed me for so long. I may have won the battle, but I was far from winning the war.
My dastardly foe had deposited something into my love, something that grew and became whole. Something which slowly corroded the hard exterior of my heart, and slowly began to eat away at it. I wasn’t sure how to react to this new being. All emotions were brought forth, but the last and most prominent was acceptance and love, and with that my son entered my life. He may have not been born of my will, but I accepted him all the same.
But again, something was eating away at my heart, something that always made me on edge, no matter what happened. It was because of this, that I was constantly alert and ready for a fight. I had been fighting so much over the years, it seemed that I needed to continue, no matter who or what it was. It was so that I lashed out at those close to me, at the person I fought so hard for. And it was because of my incompetence and desire for a fight, did a fight come to me again…
It has returned once more. And so here I sit, fighting yet again for my love. I fight the darkness that creeps into my mind, I fight my emotional desires to do physical damage to all around me. So much fighting… I must ask ...When have I won? When have I lost? When can I be done? When is enough, enough? When is a tired soldier allowed to final reap the benefits of all the combat he has partaken in? When is he allowed to say, “no more…”?
Hello Folks, Ty500600 here.
For those of you who have followed me from the beginning are well aware of my turbulent life over the past few years. I thought it was all getting better recently, but life is a cruel mistress, and as such has deemed it time for me to be in misery again. I, however, take comfort in knowing that I have a wonderful group of fans and friends who are always there to help out. I just want everyone to know that I am always available to message. I never turn anyone down and I answer everything you guys send me. I am not above anyone and I treat everyone equally. Please feel free to message me and strike up a conversation. I enjoy talking to people, so if you are ever looking for a friend and you happen to read this, Im here for you, just like I would think everyone is there for me.
Happy New Years!
I'm usually available for a chat at most times of the day (being between 8am and midnight here in Australia). Throw your words at me anytime!
Is there a purpose to tagging My Little Dashie: A sequel to this blog?
1674524
I wonder that too. I thought you were going to announce a continuation or something.
I've been fighting for twenty-seven years. As far as I'm concerned, the fight will end when I am dead. Until then, I'm not giving up. As I age, I realize more and more it may not be about winning or losing. To take an antagonistic view like that hurts far more than it helps. I fight not to win or lose, but to keep on going.
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1674708 But I did not submit this blog. You have completely the wrong user.
1675605
I was agreeing with you, and then I used "You" in the sense of ty500600. Yeah, now that I reread my comment I might've been a little unclear with that.
1675681 If you had said it like this:
THAT would have made sense.
