The Following Trailer has been rated "H"... · 8:14pm Dec 27th, 2013
Call it a preview... Of things to come.
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The cell was well lit and lined in steel. The bed she sat on was comfortable and spartan. The food she'd been provided with was acceptable. It wasn't a terrible prison, Fluttershy imagined, but it was still a prison. Even more for the child she cradled in her arms. She looked down at her baby, and smiled as she saw her eyes open. The infant whined softly, and Fluttershy stroked her chubby cheek.
"Shh, shh," she said softly. "It's going to be all right, Dawn, it's going to be all right..."
She looked up at the camera, with its silently blinking light. Ever watchful. It had been there since she'd been brought here. Present when she had her baby. Almost all alone.
Her baby mewled, and Fluttershy looked down. She kissed her forehead.
"Let me tell you a story, little one," she said with a smile. "About the people you're going to meet, when they come for us... Your aunt Applejack, she's honest and brave. The most trustworthy pony you'll ever meet..."
A warehouse wall is not built for exceptional strength. But on Earth, it was thought it could resist the might of any human being. The men inside were thus surprised when a feminine fist smashed through the wall. Followed by a foot... Followed, after a slight pause, by a small car heaved through it. They scattered in fear as a tall woman, freckles on her cheeks, blonde hair waving under a stetson hat, strode in. Her boots clacked against the concrete as she sized up her opponents.
"Hope ya'll have more fight in ya than that," she said with a feral grin.
"Your aunt Rainbow Dash, the most loyal pegasus in all of Equestria... And the fastest..."
The SU-37 pilot could not believe his eyes. Even with the most advanced video recording system available, that could not be true. But everything told it him was so.
A woman with blue wings had broken the sound barrier right past him... And she was flying right for him, lightning in her fist and a wild laugh in her throat. A laugh he heard clearly as the cockpit was shattered!
"WUSS! Can't even fly yourself!"
"Aunt Pinkie, who is bubbly and happy and filled with laughter..."
"OH GOD, PLEASE! PLEASE, NO!" Screamed the man. The pink haired woman stared down at the soldier for higher from behind her rocket launcher.
"Hm? What, this?" She pulled the trigger. The man screamed-A scream swallowed up by banana cream pie. He stared in disbelief as the tasty confection slid off his face. The woman beamed.
"Oh, that! That's my pie launcher!" She dropped the pie launcher... And pulled out an RPG that she pointed between his eyes. "THIS is the rocket launcher! Silly me, always getting them confused!"
"Aunt Rarity, who is so generous and beautiful it will break your heart..."
"I don't think you fully understand how things work on this planet, ma'am," the dealer chuckled as he leered over the table at the model-like woman on the other side. "If you want to make a deal, you have to offer something in return."
"Oh, really darling?" She asked in a refined tone of voice. She leaned over the desk and smiled sensually. The dealer grinned and leaned closer... Closer... And he felt the tip of a knife against his throat. He gulped, feeling his swallow press against the blade as the woman smiled.
"Here is my offer... Tell me what I want to know, and you get to keep your throat in one piece," she said in a deadly voice.
"Your Aunt Twilight, my sister-wife. The smartest, kindest unicorn, and my sister in everything but blood..."
"Twilight Sparkle, setting out like this to another world when we've barely made first contact," Princess Celestia said, looking over her student in her human form"is not exactly the wisest thing you've ever done."
Her student was standing taller now, taller than ever before as she gazed at the portal, across to another universe. Twilight shrugged, her eyes glowing with magical power. "No. But if I can't do the smart thing, I'll do the right thing..."
"Your uncle Spike, a baby dragon with so much to show and so much potential..."
"I'm... Not... Letting you... GO!" The green haired teenager shouted as he jumped across the rooftops, hot on the tail of his quarry. The man turned and pulled a gun, firing. He may have been new to being human, but he was not new to avoiding danger-He dropped and slid, and used the strength of his tail and legs to propel himself across the gap, fire burning from his nostrils into the face of the shocked gunman!
"And finally," Fluttershy said softly, her eyes fixed on the camera lens, "a man who thought he was the last of his kind. Who would go to Tartarus itself for his loved ones. Who isn't the smartest, or strongest, or fastest... But he is the most dangerous. Your father, Andrew Shepherd."
"You walk into my home, with a smile on your face," the leader spoke to the hunched form of his prisoner. "No plan, no weapons, nothing."
The intruder coughed up some blood, and slowly looked up. Green eyes bored into the leader, and he felt fear. A fear he suppressed with practice.
"What did you hope to accomplish? Did you really think just because you've lived on another world we'd hand over what you want?" The leader snorted. The man wiped his face and smiled.
"Actually... I came here to accept your surrender," he said calmly. The leader stared, and laughed. He actually slapped his knee.
"Ahahahaha! Hahahaha! And what... What will you do if I do not? AHAHAHAHA... Ha..." His laughter trailed off as the light in the office dimmed. He heard buzzing-Like the wingbeats of thousands of insects. He slowly turned to look out the window, and the color left his cheeks.
Thousands... Millions of flying creatures, resembling gems, flew down onto his private grounds, consuming everything that wasn't nailed down. His workers, his security guards, they all fled. He looked back at the man, who had stopped smiling. His face was grim, his eyes narrowed and cold.
"That's the first step," he said, standing up and standing tall. His battered longcoat waved in the breeze from the window as the swarm advanced. "I will take everything... Everything from you. Your wealth, your power, your standing, everything."
"We... We could have made a deal!" The leader practically whimpered. The man who had been stranded on another world for years just shook his head.
"You don't understand... I'm not going to just save my wife and daughter. I'm going to make sure you and everyone else on this planet knows what the price is for trying to hurt the people I love. Because she'll forgive you, she'll let it go..." His green eyes, once so full of life, were now as cold as the grave.
"But I won't."
"And others... So many others," Fluttershy whispered. "Because the power of friendship is so great, it can overcome anything. And my friends... Are coming for us."
The camera continued to blink, as Dawn went to sleep in her mother's arms...
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Just a thought for a future plot. Andrew gets to go home, but he's got to do it to save Fluttershy and his daughter from an organization that's figured out how to transit to Equestria and have been taking specimens for study and profit Post-Changeling War. What do you think?
It think... that human race needs to be nuked.
I hope it's a non canon chapter, but if it is, they had all better make it out alive.
Holy...
Wow. Okay. That was intense.
(you forgot a comma and a space before "is not exactly the wisest thing you've ever done."
)
.......
You. Are. A. Fucking.
GENIUS!!!!!!!
GIVE IT TO ME NOAW!!!!!
Go for it for what it's worth. I was under impression, that Andrew was getting some time off. Well things change, for beter.
Huh. A humans and ponies story I might actually read.
Sounds good to me. I kind of want to see Cutie Mark Crusader Artillery Support, but that's just asking for trouble.
Overpowered Ponies. Yeah, no.
Try making it so that both sides have an even chance, otherwise your story becomes a boring stomp fic.
Ooh, watch out, we got a badass over here.
1653684 It wouldn't be ponies fighting Earth: Just fighting a well connected, well armed organization with help from Earth authorities. But not as much as they could offer because of politics and rebuilding post-Changeling War.
1653688, still make it so the battles can go either way. That makes the story way more interesting.
I thought Loyalty was Rainbow Dash's job?
... Dude. This is just...
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw129_small.jpg
It would be really interesting to see what you could do with Pony racial traits expressed in a human world. AJ and Dash were pretty epic. Maybe have Dashie flip the guy the bird and get the most out of those fingers while she has them. Twi would probably be all Jean Grey/Scarlet Witch.
Also Andrew was kind of John McClean meets Liam Nelson in Taken, with just a pinch of Moses.
Frankly the biggest issue I can see is getting the lead in so that it doesn't come off as a cheesy action movie intro. So far the action has been happening at kind of random points, which is good because it holds the interest of the audience.
Turning this into a vengeance jag means the obvious contrivance of not only universal contact, but someone exploiting it. That's a lot of prep work for just one arc. I'd suggest letting that happen, if it does, in the process of the ongoing story you want to tell. If you get to a point where you have that kind of setting all set up, go forward with the plot you have kicking around your head. If the story feels better going somewhere else, do that instead. Don't railroad yourself.
Actually, now thatt I've thought on it, Maybe do something with Equestria Girls? Just for how weird that would be considering they'd be human, but also not the same as what Andrew would expect, what with being multicolor jailbait and all. And Andrew could be the old guy hanging around the high school for no apparent reason.
That bone could have quite a bit of meat on it.
Okay... no. I'm sorry, but no. What the mane Cast was doing was... ridiculous. No matter which way it's sliced. I was rolling my eyes by Pinkie Pie.
Mmm, I dunno. I don't like it in pony/human stories when one side rofflestomps the other. Our technology has been built up by the smartest minds over a period of thousands of years, and in the last 100 we've done things that at one time would've been considered "magic" by our ancestors. Just getting curb-stomped because of "magic" sounds kinda cheap.
I've always contrasted it in my head as "technology is brute force, magic is elegance". We get the job done and with tremendous energy behind it for large-scale operations, but magic is the stiletto to technology's broadsword. Both are equally effective (and deadly) when used for what they're good for.
I dunno, I just don't like "humans are inferior" tropes.
Conversely, the ponies have some impressive sh*t and seeing them get roflestomped is even worse because they're freakin' adorable.
That gave me chills, dude. You should almost sever this off as a new sequel story if it's gonna be a huge epic thing like I hope it's gonna be.
Reminds me of doctor who
demons run
when good ponies go to war
..........yeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssss. hurry up and write my preciousssssssss
Well I like the sound of it.
So this fic's been jumping sharks for a long time, but I think it's jumped a shark too far for me a few too many times. I've enjoyed reading it even when it's been a little too crazy, but I think I'm done now. Don't change anything on my account though, it never really was the kind of story that I liked much. Thanks for an unrestrained fun story, even the parts I didn't like so much.
1653688
I'm just going to bold the crap out of what AJT already said.
It wouldn't be ponies fighting Earth: Just fighting a well connected, well armed organization, with help from Earth authorities. But not as much as they could offer because of politics and rebuilding post-Changeling War.
I'm going to to assume by help from Earth's authorities, he means they're helping the ponies, not the organization that's about to get curb stomped into the ground.
And also, considering all the bad shit that happens to the poor bastard, the fact that this organization kindnapped one of his wives and their child, why shouldn't this be a curb stomp battle? Every other major conflict we've read about so far usually involves Andrew going through plenty of pain and agony. From just the little excerpt here, we see he probably been beaten up a bit, and in the hands of the enemy. For once I would be glad to see a struggle where its not a question of if or when the good guys win, but how badly they stomp out the enemy.
1653785
This guy makes a good point. If you do decide to do this, let it unfold naturally. Don't speed up or slow down the fic just for this arc.
Keep up the great work. Happy Holidays!
I like it. It kind of reminds me of an old John Wayne movie 'Big Jake'. Of course, little Jake was his grandson.
Make it! Please!
I would read it.
sounds good to me!
Ho-lee-sheet.
I can't wait!!!
Terra nova? i loved that show, hate fox for canceling it.
I just happened to be listening to this when I started reading this:
Oh man, it made an epic read THAT much more epic feeling.
1653688
Would said "help from Earth authorities" happen to be of the kind, not exactly on the up-and-up?
Because quite frankly, that situation you've described Fluttershy as being in? By its very definition, it's considered a grave breach of the Geneva Conventions, i.e. a war crime. Not exactly something any proper, supposedly law-abiding authority would ever willingly admit to, as I'm sure you can guess.
(Hmm, there's an idea: in addition to rescuing Fluttershy and Dawn, Andrew can potentially also strike back at the guys funding this abomination, by broadcasting the captured base's existence and purpose to the general public. Said funders get arrested and convicted of... let's just call it "crimes against humanity" for simplicity's sake, Andrew returns to Equestria with his family, everybody (on the side of good) wins.)
*headexplodey*
1653624
I'm gonna guess it is a faction or company not the whole race
Honestly, it sounds like the ponies are way too overpowered in this new storyline. If the equestrians are simply breezing through the forces of that company, then that would make for a very bland story.
Curb-stomp stories almost always are.
Sounds like the beginning of Doctor Who "Demons Run" ep, where Amy is telling her daughter about Rory.