In a State of Flux - Reviewed as read

I stared at the old wooden door that stood in front of me, as if daring me to open and walk through it. There was something about doors that I absolutely hated, a stunning realization I happened across quite some time ago that’s almost always accurate down to the point: Any day something bad has happened, I’d walked through a door. Big doors, small doors, wooden doors, iron doors, hidden doors, trap doors, it didn’t matter, they were all the same. And the worst part:

Doors. Are. Everywhere.

A good friend of mine is writing on his first fanfiction, and just a little while ago he published the first chapter of it. I had seen a bit of his writing before, and I can say that his writing is above the average of what I've seen on this side.
...Or maybe it's just that he told me I was one of the authors he took inspiration from.

“What in Luna’s name is that?” I asked her with a distinct lack of calmness.

It's humor, something you'll find from time to time in his story. And most of the time, it's the good humor, the one that sneaks up on you a moment before or after you had expected it, or maybe after a predictable joke that served as distraction.

I have to say, if there's one reason I would read a story for, it's humor. Some good, subtle humor, or maybe just some well-placed slapstick, can make up for quite a bit of predictable plot and bad writing - neither of which you'll find in his story. His spelling is excellent, his grammar isn't bad, either, and I haven't found a mistake yet that really ruined the flow for me. The plot might seem a bit cliché, but so far it hasn't actually been predictable; you have the main character, a travelling pegasus on a mission to help ponies and other creatures in need. Doesn't sound too original, I know... but in the end, that's exactly what I want from an adventure story: One guy beating up lots of other guys and sometimes surviving by the laws of improbability. If one author decides to skip the 30.000 words of his character getting there, I don't mind. And this protagonist has wingblades. Wingblades! I really don't see how he could-

“Names are but empty words that we are assigned. Live in such a way that your actions define you, not a pattern of letters,” I said coolly before giving another partial bow and walking out, saying, “It’s Flux.”

...Okay, yeah. He pulls something like that from time to time, and he sounds just a little like he was in Princess Luna's class as a colt, but you have to take the weird with the good. It doesn't sound that bad on paper (on screen...?), just a little weird in conversation, maybe. We're bronies, weird is our world.

Oh, and he argues with his brain. I guess that might be considered "weird", too.

...His character descriptions are good though.
Very vivid...
Easy to picture...
Yeah...

I stopped listening to myself and concentrated on walking, having proven internal dialogue to be a predominantly pointless process at this particular point.

There we go. Alliterations. No author who can pull off an alliteration like that can be all that bad of a writer.
...I haven't managed something like that yet in my stories. What does that say about me?

I looked around the empty path, watching the snow gently drift through the yellow cones of light cast down from the occasional streetlamp, then sighed and trudged towards the park, finding a suitably less-covered-in-snow bench before scooping up some snow from the ground to pile on it. That’ll teach it to not be so appealing. I took a few more steps on my previous path before turning back and drawing a sad face on the snow pile of shame, nodding in satisfaction as I left it to cry its frozen tears.

And we're back on track. Or off track, rather. That's the kind of humor I was talking about.

The second part is a little darker, I guess, but it's really well-written dark. I'm sensitive, and I do not normally enjoy Dark or Gore, so if I do enjoy reading a scene along those lines that's a good sign that it fit the story perfectly.
More important, though, is that the chapter doesn't end on a dark note. It was published on Hearth's Warming (if slightly late) and it is a Hearth's Warming chapter. There's nothing to cheer you up again like sitting in front of the fireplace with a mug of cider, and the protagonist manually turning his own brain off.
...It's a metaphor, I'm sure.

The summary is rather easy: Read In a State of Flux if you like well-placed jokes, adventure stories, stories with wingblades in them, or generally supporting new authors.
Seriously, I'd say it's well worth the read.

Comments

[Fluxer]

Well...I liked it...