Four Nails to a Coffin · 4:06pm Nov 23rd, 2013
Hello, everyone. It's been a while! Sorry about that. Between finals looming on the horizon, other obligations and... well, just general laziness, I've been incapable of really keeping on top of journals. I'm sure you guys don't mind too much though.
As I write this, I realise how this journal is another small drop in a rising ocean. Your tumblrs and facebooks and fimfiction accounts by now are probably black with notifications heralding one thing: season four has finally come. And wow, has it been a wait. You've endured a shoddy third season, a longer-than-usual dry spell, and finally you're being rewarded with one kicker of a full season. It's like a whole new world again.
"But the time has come," the Walrus said, "to talk of many things."
I'm scratching my head as to how to put this best. Most of you know that when it comes to public announcements, I do my best to avoid waffling about my personal dealings. However, I believe that in this situation, at least some sort of explanation for what comes next. In past hiatus, I've always asked myself and my friends if they believe that immersing ourselves too fully in "serious" fanfiction was spoiling the show for us. The kind of emotion and theme that was being put across in writing couldn't be possibly matched by a children's cartoon. And it can't. But it didn't matter, because whenever we went back, we were reminded why we loved it so much to begin with. The jokes, the character, the all around fun. It's refreshing, in a sense, to get that feeling.
Now imagine that wave didn't come. Imagine that in the show's absence the cynicism and maturity brought on by copious fanfics didn't get washed away by the purging light of pony marvel. Imagine that feeling gnawing at me the entire month leading up to the season four premiere until it came to the test today.
I guess that what I'm trying to say is this: season four is going to be great. Amazing, even. Everything's been amped up from the characters to the animation. I can tell this from only ten minutes of having watched it. However this won't include me, because instead of finding myself enjoying the show, I find myself uncomfortable watching it, awkward. It's like when your parents tell you santa isn't real (spoilers!) and the magic just vanishes. And with my one last tie to a fandom I've got little love left for, what does it mean?
Well, as far as you should be concerned, absolutely nothing! I'm going to keep writing Bezithan, I'm going to continue my presence on this website. Honestly, nothing will be different. Things are still the same, and all that's been added is a deadline. Bezithan shall be my last contribution to the ponyverse, and honestly? No other story could be more appropriate. My writing muscles are aching to move on to writing about things that aren't plush cartoon critters. I want that, I really want that. I want to be able to call myself a writer with no strings attached, to get published, to do what I want. And I guess I realise I can't do that here anymore.
Anyways, that's all I really have to say on the subject. The future's still bright, folks! I've got a ton in store for Bezithan, and I can't wait to take you on this last trip. It's gonna be a good one. I hope you all enjoy season four. Give Celestia a kick in the seat for me.
WHOO HOO!
And what a START it was!
~Skeeter The Lurker
Aww. I figured it might be something like that. Truth be told, I felt something like that when I was on the border of leaving the Pokemon fandom, and I finally realized it once I found Pony. I felt sad about my lost love, but accepted it. And just like this, I feel sad that you're leaving us, but I know how it'd be wrong to continue to pretend to like something. So, I guess this is farewell (kinda) to ponies, and if you can't find another spark to rekindle your love for Pony, I at least hope you continue to find success in your writing career.
*looks at watch*
Huh, took nineteen whole minutes for something to come along and kill my buzz.
Ah well. I look forward to future installments of Bezithan, and good luck in any future endeavors.
I hope this doesn’t come across the wrong way, but have you considered that the best idea might be to simply give up on ponyfiction altogether? I’m serious! It sounds to me like you’d much rather be doing your own thing than sticking with your one last epic fanfiction. And though it would be a shame to cancel a good story, if all you’re accomplishing by writing it is sucking away time that could have been used to write something you really want to write, then is it really worth it? You don’t owe the fandom anything. You don’t have to finish it. And if you want to be a published author then there’s no time like the present to start writing something worthy – lord knows you’re more than capable of it (White Box is still one of my favourite short stories, not merely on this website but in general)
… Of course, I might be completely missing the point of your blog, in which case I apologize. But it might be worth thinking about.
Best of luck to you!
It's interesting how much my enthusiasm towards the show has waned. I mean, I still like the community and EqD and FiMFiction, but hype towards the show itself is nothing compared to what it used to be. If you had shown me this opener last November (or even last February for that matter), I would have gone crazy in my excitement. Now it's just a "That was really good. Moving on."
I wonder what changed.
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To be honest, that thought was never on the table. I've spent so much time planning and outlining Bezithan that I can't imagine not completing it. You're right, I don't owe this fandom anything (if anything it owes me two years of my life back!). I owe finishing this to myself, because if I can't prove that I can't commit and complete something this big, then how can I believe that I can handle writing a novel?
Moreover, this story is important to me in more ways than one. Hopefully people will be able to read into that once it's concluded. But thanks for the kind words!
I can understand. I am getting much more enjoyment from great fanfics than I'm getting from the show. I love the show, but in the end, it's still a kids show. Fics can be anything.
So you took your crackers with cheese and now you won't eat plain crackers?
Whatever floats your boat, man. Not sure what your addiction to having clear start and end points in your life is but your game is your game. Just remember to play my game when the time comes. And stay tight, yo. I wanna stay friends.
What I'm more worried about is why you suddenly answer to no man and shoved all those you followed to the wayside. My confidence was low enough as is, without one out of dozens of people deciding they don't follow me on a site I hardly use anymore.
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I guess having those clear-cut endpoints just makes life more conclusive and dramatic! And as for the whole "unfollow everyone", I just did so because I realised how useless it really was. I'm not the type of guy who reads journals or, god forbid, fics, so following people out of some weird obligation seemed kinda pointless aside from acknowledging someone as a good writer or a friend. And since you're both, you don't need to worry about a silly little number qualifying you.
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Look, you have your addiction to endpoints, I have my addiction to silly little numbers, capiche?
In all seriousness, it is pretty saddening to see you finish up like this, but I'll deal with it. While I felt like "leaving the fandom" on a couple occassions, this fandom is still feeding me excitement and adventure because I stuck around, so just dropping out seems kind of foreign to me.
In any case, we are still meeting in person, at some point. I'll buy you a drink.
Too be honest, I didn't enjoy the opening as much as I'd expected I would. It just didn't feel the same. Possibly due to emotional exhaustion over Madoka Magica, but I dunno.
I love the fandom too much to leave, anyway. We'll see what happens.
Aw, man. Brony Burnout.
It sucks, especially when it happens to good writers. I will read any future installments of Bezithan with care, knowing that it will be the last, and I'm quite interestad to see where that might be going. Otherwise, are there places where other examples of your work might be found? It'd be a shame if your departure from the site meant I'd completely lose a valued source of good pieces.
All I can say is it's been a pleasure reading your stories and I hope you have a long and fruitful life. Perhaps other venues of literature will bring you more happiness. I wish you well, and I hope you know that your diverse fics have been truly interesting and unique reads.
I consider my time well spent.
:)