Some of my favourite quotes · 3:15pm Nov 13th, 2013
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade... and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting.
I'm not saying we should kill the stupid people. I'm saying we should let them do it themselves.
Legally, it's questionable. Morally, it's disgusting. Personally, I like it.
I would apologize, but that would imply that I am actually sorry.
If you're one in a million, there are over seven thousand people exactly like you.
I'm not crazy, I'm voluntarily indifferent to conventional reality.
I never said it was your fault - I said I was going to blame you.
We come into this world screaming and covered in blood. If you live your life right, there's no reason it has to stop there.
I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.
"Do you have a backup?" means "I can't fix this."
There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick.
Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.
I like my coffee the way I like my knights - strong enough to kill a dragon.
There is no such thing as fiction, only fact written in the wrong parallel universe.
Dream the impossible. Live the improbable. Die from the inevitable.
