want a comic script? have a comic script.

i wrote this as part of a project that fell through. it's a script for some sepia tock comics. unfortunatley, it's not long enough for me to submit under my stories, so i'll just put it here, in this blog post.

and before you ask, no, this isn't what i was teasing about earlier. i'm still working on that one.

Comic 1: The Mailmare’s Plea
Panel 1: Depry Hooves, Ponyville mail carrier and muffin enthusiast, bursts through a door, dramatically.
DERPY: Doctor! You’ve got to help me! There’s a ferocious beast! You’ve got to help me!

Panel 2: change focus to Sepia Tock (same design as Doctor Whoof), who is nonchalantly reading a book (if room, title it ‘A Clockwork Apple’) behind a sales counter.
SEPIA: Once again, Ms. Hooves, even if I were that blasted Doctor, I’m not helping you do anything foul to Winona.
(if title was included)
SEPIA: (in smaller text) this book wasn’t what I was expecting at all.

Panel 3: Derpy approaches Sepia.
DERPY: But Doc-
SEPIA: (holds up a hoof) ah…
DERPY: Mr. Tock, you don’t understand! That villainous hound stole something most precious to me! She stole-

Panel 4: Dramatic view of Derpy.
DERPY: My watch!

Panel 5: Dramatic view of Sepia, holding hooves to his cheeks in shock.
SEPIA: Egads, that’s terrible! There is only one course of action!

Panel 6: Sepia goes back to being aloof, reading as he points off panel. Derpy looks disappointed.
SEPIA: Watches are over there, labeled with their prices.

Comic 2: The Mailmare’s Legend
Panel 1: Derpy looks desperate for help. Sepia rolls his eyes.
DERPY: Please help? It was a gift from my daughter!
SEPIA: Oh, alright…

Panel 2: At Sweet Apple Acres, Sepia and Derpy hide in a bush, spying on Winona, who is snuggled up with a watch.
DERPY: There’s the foul beast!
SEPIA: I’ve always wondered what Mail Mares and Dogs have against each other.

Panel 3: Cut to only Derpy and Sepia.
DERPY: According to legend, passed down between Mailcarriers across Equestria, it all began with the very first Mail Mare: Van Lipvig !

Panel 4: Derpy narrates. A pegasus (wearing a gold helmet with wings) bows before Princess Celestia.
DERPY (NARRATION): Princess Celestia desperately needed a parcel delivered to her sister in their castle in the Everfree Forest, and summoned the most cunning pegasus in the land to deliver it.

Panel 5: Van Lipvig enters the Everfree Forest.
DERPY(NARRATION): Lipvig made her way swiftly to the forest, and fearlessly entered! For not even spookiness of the Everfree Forest can delay any Mail Mare!

Panel 6: Diamond Dogs jump out to face Lipvig, looking fierce.
DERPY(NARRATION): Suddenly, Diamond Dogs, sensing the gems within the parcel, accosted her, doing their best to frighten off the brave first mail carrier!
DIAMOND DOGS: Give us the preciouses!

Comic 3: The Mailmare’s Ploy
Panel 1: Van Lipvig has an epiphany
DERPY(NARRATION): However, Ol Van Lipvig was a clever pony, and she came up with a brilliant plan.

Panel 2(NARRATION): Van Lipvig throws a ball off panel, the diamond dogs chase it.
DERPY: She executed her tactic, distracting the ferocious beasts!
VAN: Go get it!

Panel 3: Van Lipvig delivers a package to Luna, which are revealed to be the elements of harmony.
DERPY (NARRATION): Van Lipvig made her way to Luna’s castle, and delivered the very first package. The Princesses awarded her richly, which she used to found the Equestrian Postal Service!

Panel 4: Diamond dogs talk to other canines (including timberwolves and pet dogs).
DERPY: The Diamond Dogs, resenting the treachery of the Mail Mare, spread word amongst the canines of Equestria: Trust not the Mail Mare.

Panel 5: Focus on Derpy, happy to have finished her tale.
DERPY: And that’s why mail carriers and dogs cannot be friends!

Panel 6: Sepia enters, holding the watch.
Sepia: Sorry, I was getting your watch. Were you saying something?

Comic 4: The Mailmare’s Watch
Panel 1: At the clockshop Sepia looks at the watch, tools laid beside him. Derpy is facing away from him, front legs crossed.
SEPIA: Excuse me, Derpy, may I ask something.
DERPY: I’m not telling you about Lipvig again, if that’s what you want.

Panel 2: Sepia looks at Derpy, who is still grumpy.
SEPIA: No no, I’m just wandering why this has random words instead of numbers on its face.
DERPY: What random words?

Panel 3: Sepia shows watch face to camera. 6=muffin 7=mail 8=school 9=sleep 12=snack. (not sure on the rest)
SEPIA: For example, instead of a six, this watch claims it’s ‘Muffin’ o’clock.

Panel 4: Side view of Sepia and Derpy, in profile. Derpy looking pleased
DERPY: Silly Doctor! Dinky wrote those words so I’d always know what time it is!
SEPIA: I can’t argue with that, can I?

Comments

[Allonsbro]

AWWW too bad it fell through, I would have liked to see that.