The Purge. Lots of Juicy Spoilers. · 9:52pm Jun 17th, 2013
This is literally just a description of what happens in the movie.
So the movie starts out with a bunch of footage of people being brutally murdered in the street. Apparently the day of the purge is March 21st or 22nd. They really should have released the movie on that day. It would've been cool.
Anyway, There is a voice over of a guy talking about how the purge helps humanity release a full year of pent-up aggression against the world with no negative repercussions.
The movie then cuts to some guy driving around in a Nissan Ultima or some shit(cause ya know, that's totally still gonna be a thing ten years from now) despite the family being super wealthy. Why are they wealthy? Cause they sold a bunch of purge security to the rest of the neighborhood.
Then it cuts to two women chatting about cookies or something stupid like that. Apparently this horrendous group of people accumulates each year to celebrate this yearly slaughtering of hundreds of thousands of people. Why? I dunno, they're rich douches or something. For whayever reason, they canceled the party this year.
The movie cuts once again, this time to one of the women from the cookie conversation. So this time cookie bitch is making sandwiches or something, when we get a shot of the creepiest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life.
I can't find any pictures, but it's pretty much a half-burnt baby torso with glowing red eyes on an RC car. Apparently this is normal though, as we are introduced to the creator of this abomination: A creepy teenage boy who is clinically insane.
He takes his heartrate and then, well I forget...
A whole lot of absolutely nothing happens, with the teenage daughter complaining about not being able to fuck her boyfriend.
So the family goes to the saferoom and arms their security system. More nothing happens until the boyfriend appears again, stating that he wants to talk to the teenage girl's dad.
While this happens, Charlie(clinically insane Skrillex) sees a thrashing, screaming black man with a gun and decides to disarm the system and let him in.
For whatever reason, the father doesn't like that, so he grabs a gun and confronts the black guy. Suddenly, the boyfriend appears and tries to shoot the husband, but the dad guy shoots back, killing the kid.
During this, the black guy hid somewhere.
Eventually this mob of deranged maniacs appears, and the leader, Onision
tells them that if they don't let him kill the black guy, then he and his friends will break in and kill everybody.
This leads to like, thirty minutes of the people chasing the black guy until they catch him, shoot him, stab his bullet wound, and duct tape him to a chair.
After torturing the black guy, the father decides that he simply can't send him out to die, so he leaves him TIED UP IN A CHAIR as a gang of serial killers breaks into the house(ya know, cause he doesn't want the black guy to die). Luckily the black guy is a veteran, so he escapes the chair with ease.
The next twenty minutes is pretty much a bunch of Anonymous wannabes dying.
Eventually The other people in the neighborhood show up and kill the rest of the gang, but not before Onision stabbed bitch dad.
The wife thanks the group of people, but they reveal that they want to kill the family because the family is wealthier than they are.
Thankfully, black guy arrives and saves the day.
The last five minutes of the movie is the family(along with black guy and angry europoors) sitting around and awkwardly talking about the weather.
Then the purge is declared as over and everyone leaves.
So how was the movie? Well, I liked it. The villain was smug, and I was glad to see him die. The only two black people in the movie survived, an admirable feat considering the movie's genre, and while most of the movie was filler, it never had me bored.
Sounds like the kind of movie that would make me rip my fucking skin off from it being so stupid. I wasn't planning on seeing it in the first place, so thanks for further convincing me to never waste my time with it.
Onision should die.
Sounds kinda crappy.
Two reasons why this will never happen
1. The blacks survive.
2. Applesauce.
i did review this movie on one of my blogs, so.... whatever. i reviewed the movie and gave it a rating. the rating for me was 'I would buy this movie on Blu-Ray'.
i also had a spolier review and a non-spolier review.
I came twice