Clearing my mind a little · 2:58am Feb 19th, 2013
I apologize in advance for this rambling bit of mine; it's just become kind of a distraction lately.
One of my favorite aspects of MLP is that of the cutie marks, how they receive them when they discover their special talents. And, just as importantly, they are happy when they embrace these talents. One thing I enjoyed about the season finale is how important this sense of identity is to the characters, how they just felt completely lost when they tried to do each other's skills. And when they rediscovered their true calling, they were even happier, and Twilight was happiest of all for showing them the way. And I was so happy for all of them - that is what life should be for everyone.
But ever since I saw that episode, I've been in a bit of a funk. It's made me reflect on what the past few months have been like in my personal life. I'm at a time where I've found out what I'm okay at doing, and what I'm absolutely no good at doing, but I still haven't reached that moment where I can say "ah, this is what I should be doing, I love doing it, and, yes, I can make a living this way." A part of this is that I've still had a terrible time finding work. In the past, I've tried pursuing a couple "dream jobs," but both of them just haven't panned out. I also had a rather significant opportunity pass me by unexpectedly last fall, which has really thrown me off my rhythm. Now it's been hard for me to even find work doing something different.
Although I am working on a couple of prospects that I hope will turn into something, I just don't feel the same clarity of purpose that I used to have. I feel like I'm scrambling around. I kind of moved down one or two tracks for most of my life based on a couple assumptions that just weren't true. Now, all of a sudden, they just don't seem like options anymore. I've been questioning my dreams, my motivations, and what I've done that has gotten me to this point. I feel like I'm never quite able to build on anything. I get something to a point where it's doing okay, but nothing that's a runaway success, and then I have to drop it because it's distracting me from finding work. So instead I just keep starting over, and every time I do, it gets harder to get in gear to do so.
What frustrates me is that I feel a little depressed about all this when I really shouldn't feel that way. I have a great deal to be thankful for in life, including my health, my family, my friends, and what I have been able to accomplish in the past. And I have accomplished a few things I'm very proud of, even if they haven't resulted in much. I feel angry at myself for feeling this way when so many people I know are suffering with much bigger problems. At the same time, I've told myself that I shouldn't need any outside vindication to make me feel better about myself, that all I need to do is find out what makes me happy and that will be enough. But this is something I've also questioned because I do feel like something is missing.
Perhaps I should just take the show's lessons to heart and put myself out there more. I do tend to be kind of a shut-in, and maybe that's why this keeps happening. I don't know.
I hope this doesn't bum you guys out, and no of course I'm not planning on going anywhere. By all accounts, I really am doing fine - it's just been on my mind this winter and I think putting it out there will make me feel better. 
I would love to learn more about you, Professor. And I'm here if you want to talk about anything.
I'm a great listener.
I hope you find your way soon.
Hey Wet
Quite understandable.
Just don't get hit by a car. It hurts.
I'm having just about the same sorts of problems TBH, so I feel some sympathy for you there
. I guess the most important thing is: don't give up
! Well, I can't say I know how to help, since I'm just a sister in suffering, but I'll be here if you need anyone!
Don't be too crestfallen about it im in the same boat to be honest and the only advice i can really give is you just ned to stay happy and optimistic even if life likes letting you down a lot
Hope u find what ur looking for :)
I hope you can find what you think is your special talent, it can be tough to figure out your place.
Thank you everyone. I really do appreciate it. I do worry a bit about being too old to be a blank flank, but there's much to be said about positive mental attitude.
keep calm flutter on
Sorry to hear that your in a slump my Dear.
I'm glad that you were willing to share it with everyone though I'm sorry I haven't been around to help though.
Anyway I don't think you should feel bad about not finding your so called special since to be honest I don't think humans have them with a few exceptions. Instead what we have is a large number of skills which we can potentially excell at, and while some people do indeed have one special talent this is rare and often this talent comes at the cost of everything else.
So don't let it get you down my Dear I don't really have one either I'M more of a jack of all trades.
We can talk more about this I get my computer back if you like.
Mwah
845516Wait...wut? You are a blank flank? anyhoo, we, your faithful students
are always here for you. <gives you a hug and a cookie>
845002 so am I!
845122have you ever been hit by a bus after getting shot? It's rather painful, because the bus is going 50mph.
845921 does laziness count as a special talent? If so I should get a freaking medal.
845516btw, have you ever tried valium?
852836
I must say I've haven't been shot, But that cop car was going pretty fast
Edit: I regret nothing