Happy Anniversary To Fanfiction! -- And a Personal Update! · 12:00am Jan 18th, 2013
Hey guys! So, well, I come in today, and I see that I have four messages and a full one thousand, four hundred and eighty-seven notifications! Gosh! I promise I'll get to all of them!
Anyways, I just want to wish all of my readers, friends, fellow authors, and the like a Happy Anniversary! (Technically, this was on the fifteen of this month, but-- well-- whatever, hehe) It was one full year ago when I came on to this website, bringing this odd fan-fiction called Migraines written with the support of my friends on 4chan's /b/ board. I branched out to other ideas, and then I apparently struck gold with Nightmare Date and its sequel. I keep saying it, and I mean it-- I never thought I'd get any kind of following. I just figured something like a dozen or so people would care to read my scribblings. The fact that I've gotten so many thousands and thousands of views is just amazing.
All though this past year, I've gone through some huge personal changes. I've finally come out to my parents. I've actually started flirting for once-- getting enough self-confidence to talk dirty with other men (which is an immense change for a Fluttershy-type like me). I've started psychological therapy and began taking medications. Recently, I've started on an SSRI (Celexa) to complement my anti-schzoid pill (Seroquel). I've got to say that the side-effects are a bitch-- feeling tired, dizzy, and nauseated a lot of the day. But, well, I'll just see what happens. I'm less scared now that I've finally seen my new, private-practice therapist. I'll see. This time next year you might be referring to me as 'she' and 'her'... maybe.(*) I hope at least I'll be much happier.
But, anyways, I've made so many friends here. I've watched great things and read great things. I'm so happy, looking back. Even though I'm in a funk of schizoid-depression still, thinking about adding on transgender hormone therapy as well while I deal with the chemical changes of my current drugs, I feel pretty content. Being here has unambiguously been a good thing for me. I love you guys. I really do.
Anyways, for the time being, I'll be going through my personal readjustments. I'll try to squeeze in some fanfic reading and, hopefully, some writing. I've to say that my writing spark still seems pretty much gone, as it's been for weeks and weeks now as I've dealt with suicidal-level depression. Yet I feel like, with the inspiration of a new session (looking forwards to it), I'll finally manage to get back to my normal groove.
Now, then, to celebrate this anniversary-- have some cute ponies!
P.S. Please join me at mlpchan on the boards /chat/, /oat/, and /fic/!
P.S.S. Since my first middle name is Christopher, I was thinking that if I do go through HRT, then I would drop my first name and be 'Christina'. Sound like a nice name?
Missed you.
So I take it your favorite ponies are Silver Spoon, Princess Luna, Pinkie Pie, Babs Seed, Scootaloo, Derpy, Shining Armor, and Rarity? If so that's a pretty impressive list. And what do almost all of these characters have in common, they all are the dark horses (excuse the pun) of the franchise.
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Hehe, well, I see that-- as I've been away-- that you've kind of eclipsed me in terms of fandom.
Glad you're back, SwiPony. Missed ya.
And Christina is a nice name, hmm, yes.
But if you do go through HRT who will I have gay sex with in the comments of your blog?
JK
But seriously, if this is what you want, I support you 100%. I'll be a little jelly though.
Oh, yeah. reminds me.
You got me thinking a few weeks back.
I was laying in bed, at 2:30AM, after 3 days of no sleep, when I should of been asleep, and got to thinking about people I hadn't talked to in a long time.
So I pulled over my recently acquired shitty laptop, and got to typing. This is what I wrote.
p.s. I'm sorry for depressing up your happy blog.
p.p.s. I'm sorry for any typos on the Gdoc. Like I said I typed it at 2:30, then buried it in my computer so I wouldn't fuck with it.
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Welcome back dude.
Good on ya getting that self-confidence.
I wouldn't dream in a million years of talking dirty to anyone irl, I would just die.
"Christina" is a lovely name. (Are you changing your avatar accordingly?)
Hot damn I missed you, FoxMan. (FoxLady?
)
I had to pulled a double take when I saw this is my notification box, so happy to see that it was, indeed, a new blog from ya. Shit, I even bypassed all the others I had just to read this one.
Stay strong. Strength isn't tethered to, or limited by physical form.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY AND IMPROVEMENT OF MENTAL CONDITION!!!
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To many more!!
I see your series of cute gifs and raise you one youtube vid with more of the same action
(My constant history less browing has finally bit me since I found the gif used in the vid last night and now I cant find it when I look for it
)
You didn't strike gold when you wrote Nightmare Date
...
You struck a massive gushing crude oil deposit in your backyard (where you had full mineral rights) when the price of oil was $1000 a barrel and you continue to get monitary action on what comes out!
You deserve every follower you have.
I saw one of those instances of you talking dirty to someone.
I should know, it got me laid on Thanksgiving evening with my ex-gf when I spent it alone in my college town. The kicker is that her parents and brother were IN TOWN!!
That was a good night....
The comments for that blog post escalated pretty quicky
Though I gotta say, being able to talk dirty is GREAT!
Which reminds me *texts ex*
I feel you on the dizziness and drowsiness from meds. It sucks trying to figure out why your vision is trying to rotate for no reason only to realize its the meds that you wish that didn't have to take. It also makes boozin with buddies a potentially dangerous situation (but I ignore that issue since its depressing to try to be social without liquid courage(Im Fluttershy when sober and I become... Applejack with some drinks))
Your taking Celexa to bed with you? You should be taking Lunesta if you want better sleep!
(When you see it...)) I am not a medical professional and I do not know which is better. I am just reaching for low hanging pun-fruit)
((Med name pony puns!
Not to discourage you or anything, but you should give yourself a few months or a year on the same meds to see if your HRT plans and thoughts change before going through with anything. The meds do affect how the brain on a physical and chemical level work and affect thought processes. HRT is a pretty big thing to go through, its best to make sure you REALLY want it. Just trying to look out for you is all.
Even if your muse has left you completely and your creative candle is snuffed, we'll still care about you and keep up with you.
The two things I love in my notifications list: 1) replies to my comments and 2) your blog posts
As it stands with your fanfiction career; you cranked out many quirky little clops, several heartfelt romances, created the Philosopher's stone several times (Nightmare Date & Dashie's Tears in the Rain), and you may end it with an autobiographical fic that got lauded by the site. All with a near..... Bethovian level IRL artist story (only one I could think of readily that had a rough time when he was alive). Authors who get paid would be jelly of your success that you did for free. They so jelly.
In short: keep on being you, don't be pressured to write for us if you don't feel it, keep us appraised of you from time to time, and canter on.
HUGS!!
*crushing bear hug*
In other unrelated news that I found while searching for the right pic:
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Gosh, it's so hard for me to choose 'favorite ponies' when so many of them seem so wonderful!
Well, those ones that I picked are specially nice, in my eyes, and I wanted to share these!
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Missed you too! Love your sexy Twist avatar... makes me think I should do a clopfic of her... maybe!
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I might! We'll see!
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Cool! Well, hope to be writing soon!
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I'll try and take a look at that story tomorrow!
Also, well, the HRT thing is still up in the air... really not sure if I'd do it. But I'm considering it seriously. Anyways, thanks for your message.
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But online I'm different 
Though, well, I feel like there's enough cross-pollination of self-confidence that I can be more assertive IRL 
Gosh, I don't know about IRL... I'm pretty Flutters-ish IRL
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Thanks for all of your kind words! And that's also some good advice, too!
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Your welcome!
I was just trying to help and remembering some of what Jeph Jacques has said about his anti-depression (I think also anti-psychotic) medication. He often pokes fun at it via his character Hannelore (the blond one) along with his depression
Maybe you could try emailing him to see if he has any tips or experiences to share with you? He must be doing something right since his entire comfy income comes from his webcomic that he updates every weeknight. (I feel kinda dumb for not having this idea during one of your earlier blogs)
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Years before Lauren Faust got an offer from Hasbro:
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722769 It's not a story, per say. It's more just a unfinished rant.
The jist is that I'm not satisfied with myself. Mind or body. meh. Life is hard. I'll get over it.