Progress update · 7:37am Aug 7th, 2023
The next chapter is coming along nicely, maybe a week away. Its going smoother than the last one, but will be much longer. Which is why it will probably take about the same time to release. I've gotten a lot of constructive criticism in the last chapter about my overuse of internal monologue and while it will probably take a while for my writing to get dialed in, I hope that the next chapter is an improvement.
Writing Windy is a bit tricky, but her character will get a lot of characterisation. She might have come off as a bit flat in the last chapter, but there were a lot of aspects about her personality and character that I wasn't 100% settled on.
I was planning for Luna to leave Valley Dale the day after the show, but now I'm wondering whether to have her stay an extra day or two afterwards to expand her interaction and relationship with Wind Chill and Wind Scale. I'll wait until I actually reach that part of the chapter before I decide. I'll see what feels more narratively appropriate. Depending on that the chapter might get broken up again, but we'll see.
I dont know if its just me but id also like it if you gave luna more emotion shown in dialogue. Not that there is a lack of emotion and character already, but its mostly on paragraphs with no dialogue. Could also use intetnal monologue for the same purpose of giving more emotion and depth to characters. Even then i think its going great and would still like to see more of the story as it is now to get a better understanding of where you are taking it before commenting on it.
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I understand that. So far the only times that I've written dialogue for Luna is her being very emotionally guarded or actively deceptive. Once her odyssey kicks off in earnest, she will open up a lot more and be expressive when in the company of friends.