Chapter 33
Blueprints
“Wake up... Wake up. Hey! H.B! Wake up!”
“Gah!” Heartbreak looked up at Spike and groaned. “Just five more minutes...”
“Sorry, H.B. I can’t do that. We’re on a train. Remember?” Spike asked chuckling.
“Oh yeah...” Heartbreak replied, pushing the pillow off her head. “Are we back in Ponyville yet?”
“We’re about to arrive,” Rarity said, walking by and taking some curlers out of her mane. She whipped it back and primped about in a small mirror.
Heartbreak shook her head and ruffled her mane. “Fet... I barely remember going to bed last night. I remember waking you up... Going to the bathroom... By the way, thank you Spike.”
“Don’t mention it!” Spike replied. “Really, don’t mention it. You don’t know what ponies could be listening.”
“Right... and then just falling to sleep,” Heartbreak finished.
Spike eyed Heartbreak and prepared himself for a question that he felt was like walking on eggshells. “So, did you sleep well last night?”
Heartbreak tapped her chin. “Actually... Yes. I don’t remember if I had any dreams, which is an odd thing, but for the most part?” She stretched wide and squeaked a little before drooping down again. “I think it was a restful night’s sleep.”
“Good to hear!” Spike replied. He looked at Rarity with loving eyes. “And how did you sleep?”
“It was a decent slumber,” Rarity eyed Heartbreak. “Though I had a terrible time trying to get to sleep. I kept tossing and turning over something...”
“Beds must not be calibrated to your comfort standards, Rar-rar.” Heartbreak said, rolling her neck and cracking it. “Aaaaah.”
The door to the adjoining cart slid open and the conductor walked in. “Anypony still asleep in here?” He looked around. “Nope? In that case... Tickets ready! Tickets ready! We’re just moments away from arriving in Ponyville!”
Rarity pulled out the tickets from her saddle bags. “I do hope our luggage was stowed properly. I’d hate anything to get crushed...”
==============================================================
Damn it, Rarity. It’s morning, I haven’t had my coffee and you’re already tempting fate.
Rubbing my face, I sigh. “Most likely now? Something is bound to be crushed. And there is a good chance that it’s mine.” Mentally I smack myself. “Stop that. You’ve had a good few days away from Ponyville and had a rather interesting time in a city that you sorta know. Think positively. Like Derpy said, ‘Happy thoughts.’”
The train starts coming to a rolling stop as I push myself out of the bed. I give my muscles another stretch before I shake up my shoulders. I pick my hat up in my teeth and attempt an ankle grabbing to put it back on my head. The results are less than stellar as it lands on my face. I force it up over my muzzle and get it on my head in time for the train to finally come to a complete stop. Next comes the saddlebags, I swear, these things come with variable difficulty on how they get on. Some days it’s easy, other days it’s hard. Today it’s... Easy.
“Now arriving in Ponyville! Now arriving in Ponyville! Have your tickets ready for your luggage!”
Walking back onto the train platform, we have come full circle. Sorta, maybe, fet I don’t know. Looking up at the sky I see a few random pegasi pushing clouds and preparing for the day. Minor grit and minutia.
Rarity looks at the pile of things that she has now loaded onto a trolley. “I didn’t purchase as many things as I hoped to...” She says whimpering. “Normally that pile is at least double what it is now!”
“So... How are we going to do this?” I ask.
“Do what?” Rarity asks me.
“Don’t tell me that I’m the only one that has thought this through?”
“Thought what through?” Spike asks.
“Well, are we going to go to Rarity’s and drop things off there and then go see this new house that I have been so...” I pause on the word. “Graciously given.” No! Happy thoughts!
“Well that’s what I thought was going to happen...” Rarity replies as a pony walks... my new bike... up to us. Gods, that thing just looks stupid.
“If we do that Rarity, then it’s going to take time. Because knowing you, you’ll want to put things away. And if you put things away then I’ll have to be there waiting for you.” I explain.
“Darling, you don’t have to wait for me, you know. Being back in Ponyville you are free to do and go as you please...” Rarity looks at the bike. “And you can do it all on your new bike!”
“But...” Heartbreak started.
“But what, darling? You’re a grown mare and capable of making choices on your own.” Rarity replies in a nonchalant manner. “Just do what works best for you.”
“But I don’t know where this house is, and I would rather that somep-pony be there for when the appraiser arrives.” Fuck, I hope she isn’t still fuming about what happened between Derpy and me... I nearly gag looking at this pink, girly thing with streamers and hearts overlapping the hubs. “Not to mention that I would like to make some alterations to the bike before riding it... I could use somep-pony’s help in that area... Somep-pony who is good with design and might be willing to generously offer a helping hoof?” Come on Rarity. This is the closest you’re going to get to me kissing your fucking marshmallow flank here. She’s rolling her eyes at me. “Fine,” I take the right handlebar’s streamers in my mouth. “I’ll do it myself.”
Rarity gasps at me as I pull these things out by the roots. “Darling what are you doing?!”
“Making some alterations to my new bike, Rarity!” I spit the overly pretty plastic things in the trash and grab the others to repeat. “If I am going to ride this gift, then I want it to look like I would ride it.” I look at her. “Not some six year old filly.”
She sighs. “If you want me to make alterations to your... brand new-”
“Slightly used,” I correct.
“It’s new to you darling,” She steams. “Then maybe we should go to my shop first, rather than your house?”
“I just kinda want to see this house and-” I begin.
“Hey!” Spike interrupts. “Here’s a crazy idea, how the both of you go see the house and I,” he looks at Rarity as if he is some knight in shining armor, “I’ll take your things to the shop that way you can put them away when you get back?”
“I...I’m ok with that idea. How about you Rarity?”
“Well...” She sighs a bit. “Alright, I’m a bit curious to see what this house of yours looks like as well."
==============================================================
The sound of bike tires and dust filled the air as Heartbreak almost gleefully rode circles around Rarity.
“Whoa!” She cried out, wobbling a bit on the bike.
“Careful!” Rarity shouted pulling back as the two of them passed Fluttershy’s cottage.
“I’m being careful! It’s just that I’m still getting used to it all...” Heartbreak replied peddling a bit faster and clicking one of the higher speeds. “It’s been months last I rode a bike...”
“Shouldn’t it be like, forgive the phrase here, ‘like riding a bike?’” Rarity asked, coughing on some of the dust. “Besides, you seemed to be doing quite well your first time back in Canterlot.”
“That was all adrenaline and fear, Rarity. I wasn’t exactly thinking- Whoa! Ha!” Heartbreak pushed the pedals harder for a sudden boost of speed. “I wasn’t thinking about riding the bike I borrowed.”
“You mean, ‘that you stole,’ Rarity corrected rolling her eyes.
“Hey! It got returned!” Heartbreak looked at Rarity worriedly. “You girls did return it right?”
“Not at all! I kept it and remodeled it to make a lovely centerpiece in my boudoir!” Rarity replied sarcastically. “Of course we returned it! Just who do you think we are?!”
“Oh,” Heartbreak replied looking around. “Good, cause I was going to ask what kind of dress a bike wears. Hey, is this the road we turn down?” She pointed out a road that looked more like a grassy meadow with old tire tracks running through it rather than a road. An old, tattered and tilted sign read, ‘Old Miller Drive.’
“I would say that it is...” She looked passed the small meadow on the left side of the Old Miller Drive. There, the outer reaches of the Everfree Forest lay. Vines, tendrils, and large broken trees stood ominously. Lurking, almost watching, waiting-
“BOO!” Heartbreak shouted.
“GAH!” Rarity doubled over. “Darling! What are you trying to do? Give me a heart-” she paused. “I mean, send me into cardiac arrest?”
“It’s alright to say, ‘heart attack,’ Rarity. I know you aren’t making a joke at my expense,” Heartbreak said, wobbling a bit on her bike. “But you were looking at the forest so intensely, and I kind of want to get to this house now.”
“Right, of course...” Rarity said, still nervously eyeing the plant life.
==============================================================
Rarity looked at the slowly changing scenery. It had to have been at least a good thirty minutes or so of walking before any signs of pony-made structures were in view again.
“I really do hope we arrive soon. It feels like we’ve been walking forever!” Rarity complained.
“Rarity, I can still see Ponyville from here. Or at least the town hall,” Heartbreak replied rolling her eyes. “Besides, it might not take this long if somep-pony wasn’t walking so slow.”
“Well, maybe if somepony wasn’t peddling so fast, I could keep up!” Rarity protested.
“I’m just using the bike that you bought me, Rarity. Aaaand I think we’re almost there! Look there’s a clearing in the trees!” Heartbreak replied, pushing herself to make a sudden burst of speed.
“Hey! Wait up!” Rarity called out, galloping after her.
Heartbreak had already dismounted and walked to the break in the trees that she described before Rarity finally caught up. She looked at the house in front of her.
It was a large two story house that appeared to have an attic. Above the broken door was a large heart-shaped window with a vine growing through the center. Surrounding that window were four smaller windows with various forms of damage and dilapidation. This place had been standing alone and abandoned for a good long time, judging by the height of the grass, the dead limbs jutting out of the two trees and various signs of decay and neglect.
“Oh, H.B...” Rarity said, dismayed at the state of the house. “This is just-”
“Perfect...” Heartbreak said, taking a first step to the small cobblestone pathway that lead to a doorway that barely hung on its hinges.
“You must be joking,” Rarity replied questioningly. Heartbreak’s face however was starting to crack a wide smile. “You're not joking. H.B! This house is just a mess!”
“Eeyup,” Heartbreak’s grin became even wider as a hoof went up to tap her chin. “I think I can work with this...”
“There’s a hole in the roof!” Rarity exclaimed. “And some of the siding is falling off!”
“That there is,” Heartbreak replied, lost in a minor thought and walking further down the outgrown path. “Heh. Hole in roof, hole in hoof..." She snickered looking up at the roof of the house. "That ought to get fixed before winter comes...”
Rarity backed away, only to find herself bumping into the mailbox. A mailbox that almost promptly fell over. “The mailbox is broken, as are some of the windows!”
“Ooo, windows could be expensive... Maybe I should talk to Twilight about that, after all,” She looked back at Rarity with a smile on her face and sparkles glittering in her eyes. “She should know a good window repair pony right?” Heartbreak chuckled a bit.
“H.B.! Darling! You can’t be serious! There are vines growing though that one window!” Rarity took a closer look and then gasped. “Are they actually part of the house structure now?”
“I like the one that’s going right through that main window... Kind of reminds you of somep-p-pony,” Heartbreak replied almost laughing and eyeing her flank before looking at Rarity with a wide grin. “Don’t you think?”
“Now see here! This is no laughing matter, H.B.!” Rarity fumbled. She pointed up to an odd pair of plants that decorated left side of the porch. “There are a pair of large snapdragons right next to your front door! Do you know how dangerous those are?! And if there are two that size, then there is sure to be at least a dozen more smaller ones!”
“Really? Are those what those are? How dangerous are they, Rarity?” She asked walking forward nearly halfway down the path. “They’re kinda ... cute... in a sorta messed up, ugly, and-”
Suddenly, the foot tall strange green and purple plant sprang to life! Eyespots on the top opening wide and antenna popping out of where it’s forehead would be. As Heartbreak jumped back, hand like leaves unfurled and it let out a low hissing sound.
Rarity raced forward. “See! They are quite dangerous!” She said, lifting up a hoof and attempting to pull Heartbreak away.
Heartbreak’s brow furrowed deeply and the hair in her mane and tail started to form tight curly spirals as she pushed the hoof away. “Nonsssenssse... It’sss... Jussst... A... Warning.... Sssign...” she said, glaring at the plant. The odd bit of dragonesque looking flora suddenly dropped and retracted all its defenses.
Heartbreak perked back up and smiled looking at Rarity. “See? No need to fret, Rarity!”
“But, but! This place looks like a death trap!” Rarity protested. “It’s horribly broken!”
Heartbreak looked Rarity square in the eyes. “Exactly!” she looked back up at the house. “It’s just like me...” She said distantly. “Broken... Battered, tattered, beaten, and in dire need of a little, ‘T.L.C.!’”
“But-” Rarity began.
“Look Rarity,” Heartbreak put her hooves on Rarity’s shoulders and smiled a wide grin. “This house has projects! Things that need fixing! And most of it is cosmetic! At least according to the deed. The floors are solid, and the frame is secure! All that is needed to be done are some minor projects!” She clasped her hooves together, her eyes sparkling in delight. “I can renovate...”
“But how are you ever going to pay for such things?!” Rarity asked.
“Don’t know! But I’ll figure something out. I’m sure there are ponies in Ponyville that are willing and able to help, will do so a little! But for the most part,” She took her hooves off the white unicorn's shoulders before starting to explore the rest of the yard. “The place has a great deal of things for me to do... things that will keep my h-hooves busy.”
Rarity blinked in confusion. “This place is just so... horribly run down. Well, not completely rundown, but still! It’s such a dump! Did Princess Luna know about all this before she bought the house?!” She sighed mentally as she watched Heartbreak walk around in the tall grass and look around in the windows. “However... it’s refreshing to see her actually happy about something for a change. Oh! Perhaps she has finally learned a lesson and I can move on with my life!”
Heartbreak peeked around the corner and did a double take. “Hey! Rarity!” she called out. “You’ve got to see this backyard!”
Rarity cautiously walked through the tangled mess that was a yard. “Aren’t you worried about things like ticks and bugs?” She whimpered.
“Wait? They have ticks here in Equestria? Heartbreak frowned in confusion. “I seriously hope they aren’t the size of small dogs or anything. But if that is the case... I’ll let you give me a brushing later. Still! Look at this!”
==============================================================
Alright, I might not be feeling as giddy as I am presenting myself.
But Derpy was right, if I give things a chance, they might not be so bad. Alright, to be fair: marshmallow butt was the one encouraging me to at least take a look at this place before judging it.
And honestly? I do like it.
This place is falling apart and looks like it has all these problems... And there are about a dozen little clichés I can spot on the outside alone. The, ‘broken heart,’ window? Check. The snapdragons to keep passer bys away? Check. And the whole dark spooky feel? Double check-a-runie!
But...
Something about this place calls to me.
‘Help fix me,’
‘I need repair,’
‘I need someone to love-’
Damn it. If I keep thinking about what this place is saying? I’m going to end up crying! But what I really like? It’s far enough away from Ponyville that I don’t have to be around the others all the time, but close enough that I can call out for help or bike there.
“Alright darling,” Rarity says, kicking her hooves and almost whimpering. “What is it that you want me to see?” She looks all sorts of uncomfortable while wading through the grass. She’s cautiously looking over my shoulder, afraid that something will come out and wreck her carefully groomed mane no doubt.
The backyard of this place looks like an untended private garden of sorts. There are two half dead trees that are in dire need of pruning, a few bushes that have overgrown, and in this shady area? There is a small fountain thing.
Walking over to the long dead fountain it seems to have a large seashore theme going. A few starfish on the sides, waves, and a large almost brain-coral mound looking thing in the middle of it. The grass back here is well overgrown, but peeking out the remnants of long unattended gardens are a few bright orange flowers. I even think there is a ...rose bush. And to all this? Rarity looks utterly terrified. And I couldn’t be happier!
I mentally face hoof. “Come on, H.B. stop that. We get that you like watching Rarity squirm and twist about, but it isn’t nice. Even if she got you a house in such a sneaky-sneak way...” “So! What do you think?” I smile, “It’s wonderful, right?”
Rarity’s face twists and she nods. “Just... splendid!”
I walk over to the dead looking tree to our far left. There’s something about this tree that I almost can recognize. “Hey, Rarity, you know anything about trees?” I tap the trunk and look to see if there is anything actually living on the tree. Just then I spy a few clusters of green on one of the far branches...
“Not really, darling. I’m a dress maker, not a tree doctor, remember? I say, with as much as you know about us, I would think thaaaaa- waha-ha!” She suddenly jumps back in fear.
“What? More snapdragons?”
“Darling! Look what you’re stepping in!” Rarity screeches in wide eyed terror. Looking down, I see why the fuck I should be worried.
Down near the base of the tree and just too my left is a little blue flower that I know all too well. And it’s brushing up against my leg. Looking around the trunk? I see a near carpet of neighbors.
“Fet! Is that-”
“Yes! We should get you to Zecora right away before its effects take hold, there’s no telling what, ‘joke,’ it will play on you!” Rarity whimpers and attempts to pull me away from the plant in question.
==============================================================
Heartbreak was still looking at the flower next to her leg while Rarity seemed to be in a panic. She then blinked and looked at the flower again.
“Rarity?”
“Darling, come along! We need to get you to Zecora’s immediately! Or perhaps this could be a chance to go to the spa?” Rarity asked a lit of amusement rolling across her face.
“I’m not sure that will be necessary or not, Rarity.” Heartbreak replied trying to shrug the unicorns’ hoof off her.
“What ever do you mean?” Rarity asked concernedly.
Heartbreak pointed at the plant. “Is poison joke meant to turn black and wither like that?” Just as she asked the question, the plant almost instantly crumbled along with several of its neighbors.
Rarity blinked. “Well... I’ve never seen that happen before...”
“D-d-did I just kill the joke?” Heartbreak asked, with a touch of disappointment in her voice.
Rarity blinked in confusion. “I... I don’t know but I would believe that you just did...”
Heartbreak’s head drooped and she sighed.
“What is it, darling? Poison joke isn't the sort of thing that you want growing around your house,” Rarity asked. “Is it?”
“It’s nothing, Rarity. I’m just... ugh... Never mind,” Heartbreak replied, the disappointment growing in her voice. “And no, I still don’t want to go to the spa. Thanks for the offer...”
Rarity blinked. Now she knew something was wrong. “She has been seething and nearly frothing at the mouth every time I even mention the notion of going to the spa!” “Please, I want to understand what’s wrong, darling. Is it because you killed it?”
Heartbreak rolled her eyes and walked past Rarity. “Part of it is that I was genuinely curious about what would happen, the other part of me says, ‘Whelp, one more thing to hammer in the fact that you aren’t really a pony, eh H.B?’”
Rarity’s head tilted. This had been the most open that Heartbreak had been with her about something. “It’s just a little poison joke, darling... And who knows? Perhaps tomorrow you’ll wake up with some ailment!”
Heartbreak snirked and walked up to the backdoor. “Yeah, sure. Any who... What’s say we take a look at what’s on the inside of this place?”
The Poison Joke part is a bit disappointing(just a bit) but I'm also glad it doesn't affect HB. She has enough problems to deal with.
You know the funny thing? This is pretty much where I expected this story to more or less start. Seriously, I expected a few chapters of arc introduction followed by this and some chapter length montages of repairs.
A gear shift, of course.
o/` There's a hole in the rooftop, dear Lyra, dear Lyra, there's a hole in the rooftop, dear Lyra, a hole. Then fix it, dear human, dear human, dear human...
D'awwww... kind of makes one want to give HB a hug.
So, all in all, great chapter! And thank Eris that the bike was so easily altered. No more streamers, no more shiny pink hearts... just a decent frame.
3359953 Yeeeeeeeeeah... I can't really work from that point... Don't know why, but now we have arrived at this point.
3359966 Right now it's still pink and has those stupid hearts but the streamers are gone.
3359930
Lol yeah I agree xD
Was kinda curious to see what happens to HB when she touches poison joke and has to deal with a certain rhyming zebra.
perhaps she'll wake up tommorow and find out she's alergic to it with some sort of overreaction. (hints )
Don't mess with Fae Magic, you evil little plant!
I'm not sure what would amuse me more, My Headcanon that HB's reaction to Poison joke would be turning into basically a version of Fluer De Lis with a hole in a hoof, or the fact that she canonically KILLS it.
3360041 The Killing Joke.
3360041
It took me a while to figure out just what you meant with your headcanon, but once I got it it became immensely funny.
"SHE'S. TOO. FABULOUS."
For some reason, the Addams Family theme was playing in my head when the house scene popped up...
3360003 I'm not saying that what you did is worse, in fact I applaud you for not just rushing through it... It's just the title and cover art led me to believe this arc was going to be far different from what it's been so far.
Keep up the good work.
3360090 Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week!
3359930
I'm not disapointed, especially with how most authors try to write the effect of poison joke. We got six cannon effects, NONE of them are positive in any way, and half of them are downright crippling/mortal. Because a unicorn without magic, a Pegasus unable to fly or an earth pony the size of an apple are easy prey in the Everfree. Poison Joke don't give you Alicorn powers, don't give you magic or wings or anything. Poison Joke cripple you where it hurt you the most.
Don't be too happy, HB. You've forgotten...
There will be Spiders.
There will be Wasps.
There will be Ants.
There will be Rats.
I hope Fluttershy is good with insects too, cause I doubt there's an exterminator in Ponyville.
Also when HB rode the bike I had the strangest picture of it rearing like a horse in my head. HBxBike? I doubt it.
3360177 That's what the snapdragons are for!
3360064 Funny thing: Fallout Equestria actually HAS Killing Joke, and it's about an order of magnitude nastier. Tries to kill by irony.
3360290 Add another layer of irony here...
3360177 You forgot There Will Be Mice.
Spiders
Wasps
Ants
Rats
Mice
S.W.A.R.M.
3360374 Heh. Cute.
3360549 Cause that's how the house was built. Sometimes symbols are there cause we're seeing it. Aka, confirmation bias. But glad you approve.
Very good chapter, I like how you did leave it open to the possibility that even thou H.B. killed the poison joke its possible she could still be effected by it. So I can still see people's minds racing to see if she has changed any when she wakes up the next day. you could say it wont happen but why not let people get worked up? hehe.
3360177
great... now your shipping H.B. with a bike.. what next her bed? spike? Celestia?
3360096 The munsters poped into my head.
3360167
Rainbow still could fly, she just had no controls really. But I do agree, I'm not fond of people using it in a way to turn their character into alicorns. Funny with no negativity sure, funny and demeaning sure, funny and crippling? to an extent. Except Twilight could use her magic if you remember right, she levitated her brush to comb her hair and find her horn limp as a wt noodle. fluttershy only had her voice change which was demeaning. Pinkie had her tongue inflate, Rarity became a walking mop.
3361154
Well no, she hates/isscaredof Celestia, but Spike would be a possibility is he got over his infatuation for Rarity.
well i guess the good thing about the poison joke immunity for HB is he a natural organic safe weed killer for poison joke so that save bits for him since he doesn't need a spa trip to get cure for it every time he touch it so that good and ponies could pay him now for poison joke removal jobs possible so semi plus there if a bit sad but hey a silver lining at least! and it looks to me the house come with a exotic pet for him as well snap dragons there perfect for him! there like a good pet with more tolerances that can deal with HB better then animals since there plants and they take care of them self's pretty well and they got attitude like him best yet security bonus against mean things like pest, naughty animals and sneaky nosy ponies~!
3361163
Tell me... do you have a story that just about shipping characters with each other or something? you seem a tad bit over obsessed with this
3361176
No, I just find HB to be a very cute pony that needs to be shipped with SOMETHING.
That and it's entertaining to see her squirm.
3359930
It does give interesting clues into the nature of Poison Joke and the Curse on H.B.; I.E. that Poison Joke's effects ARE a curse despite Twilight's claims to the contrary.
(Then again, H.B. is a living claim to the reality of Curses herself...)
Second, that H.B.s curse actively responds to any magical attempts to muck with it's own effects....
Hmmm, a thought... poison Joke was obviously created by Discord, since it exhibits reality-warping magic beyond even a unicorn's power. Is it possible the curse is stronger than Discord, or is Poison Joke just a mere fraction of Disco-ball's reach?
Celestia's attempts at mindwiping might just create the unstoppable monster she fears, or harm Celestia somehow.
3361180 HB "I am not cute. I don't need to be 'shipped' with anything. And you like to watch me squirm... eh?"
3362615
Yoooou don't know what you're missing. Have you even looked in a mirror? You're adorable. Not in the Sweetie Belle way or the *instantlycrush* way, but the "I don't know what I'm doing and struggling with stuff" way, and that is quite cute in my eyes. Makes me want to help you, extra-dimensional-character-in-disguise-as-a-fictional-one. Too bad I aint a magician.
A house that needs fixing up? Do I detect a montage!?
3362725
HB responds to point.
"Yoooou don't know what you're missing."
I had a girlfriend. I... I still love her.
"Have you even looked in a mirror? You're adorable. Not in the Sweetie Belle way or the *instantlycrush* way, but the "I don't know what I'm doing and struggling with stuff" way, and that is quite cute in my eyes."
I am not!
"Makes me want to help you, extra-dimensional-character-in-disguise-as-a-fictional-one. Too bad I aint a magician."
I have fae stuff in my blood, you don't want to mess with that.
3362812 I'm not sure how to do a montage...
3362830
Are tooo! You really do know how to accept a compliment, you know.
And yeah, nasty fae stuff is nasty. I wonder if they would even mind a random magic metal penguin going to Equestria to do heavy lifting for the pony they all hate.
Nooooo. HB killed the joke
That was a terrible joke btw
3363986 And that's why it died.
3363220 With a fire breathing polar bear.
I feel awful for even suggesting this, but maybe HB's physiology is so messed up that her repulsion hooves fluctuate strenght so that she can never learn to compensate for it.
About the bike, good writing. Its a useful gift and completely in character for her, yet so repulsive at the same time. Just repaint it with racing stripes or something.
I am trying to learn american spelling. Is "cause" supposed to be slang, or should I use " 'cause"?
I want to buy HB some cats now. This house just begs for it.
Lunaverse Trixie has one stalking her house.
Thin Layer Chromatography?
Somewhere, a drum and a pair of cymbals fall of a cliff.
I told you she was a fey deep down! Even the plants know.
A very nice chapter. I've been counting the days since last week. Oh, can you teach those snapdragons tricks? Can you eat them to snort fire? What if you bake them? Would burning cause them to grow? Will they bow to their new queen? What if they met the poison joke? Are they related to the piranha plants from Mario Bros? Will they defend the house from the everfree predators?
I know that with a cure available, I would want to try it as well. HB must feel really conflicted about being a real pony and clinging to his humanity.
3360167
You know, I never figured out why it would block Twilight's magic? She levitated her brush right?
Oh, and the other effects were downright lethal as well. Rarity would be unable to flee and either trip, run into something or even better, get a negative modifier versus grappling attacks.
Pinkie without laughter
And Flutters scaring off her animals? She would be all alone and devastated.
3360064
The Killing Joke? Okay this might be a prank after all then.
Also, we're not going to have her going in heat, right?
Of course she will, that's a basic fact of fanfiction and worldbuilding. Just know that transgenders resist their heat just fine. I know this from experience.
3359966 Where on earth did that song come from?
3360096 Yeah...that's kind of what I was thinking too.
3360549 I didn't really have an opinion on this chapter outside of : 'FINALLY'. It was interesting that poison joke basically says she's a mood-killer...but it's ultimately pointless, and I'd have liked the house as well...but then I saw the picture and tried to capture a demonic bellsprout with my pokeballs. (In essence=I was sidetracked.)
3364674 I don't care. That sounds awesome. I just have to check it off my list of weird things going to Equestria. And yes. Fire-breathing Polar Bears are on the list.
3365136
American slang 'cause is a contraction of because,
and like most contractions should be preceded with a ( ' )
(Examples, 'cause, 'fore (before), 'yall (Ye All), 'sup? (what is up?/What is happening?)
3365136
Oooo Questions
" A very nice chapter. I've been counting the days since last week. Oh, can you teach those snapdragons tricks?"
Maybe, but there are several dozen smaller ones. The big ones are the alphas.
"Can you eat them to snort fire? What if you bake them?"
No and no, they are pretty toxic except for the Snapdragon Berries that grow at the base of the plant. Those are delious, but not fun to get. Plus, do you really want to tell the others 'I'm eating dragon berries!'
"Would burning cause them to grow?"
No but they will attack if provicated. The little ones have small barbed soft teeth.
The big ones have sharper teeth.
"Will they bow to their new queen?"
Nope, they are almost like clownfish in their reproduction though.
"What if they met the poison joke?"
Most anything avoids the semi-aware poison joke plant. Even Snapdragons.
"Are they related to the piranha plants from Mario Bros? Will they defend the house from the everfree predators?"
No and yes.
3366794
Well, it's an old, old children's tune (There's a Hole in my Bucket), first recorded somewhere in the 1700s.
3366959
Thank you. I was sure that my english class was all I ever needed.
And then I started writing and my spell-checker went all red on me
3368317
I really, really like the snapdragons.
Too bad for the kitty I send to your house then
Besides being able to relate with your gendershift, what does this mean? Can they see you as an alpha? (bad mind! don't think about hentai scenes)
Or are you hinting to a symbiotic relation with a monster plant hidden under the ground that lures in wild animals and lets them eat the leftovers? This might explain where the previous owners went.
Oh dear, this is like the set up to the classic Little Petshop.
And they can't spit fire? Try feeding them the Old Jokes (pun intended)
Thank you for taking the time to answer all my questions. I enjoy world building.
*edit* I knew I forgot something; what is the deal with "eating dragon berries"? Is this something like dingle berries? Because I regret looking those up for years now. Damn you Wotch!
3365136 Tender Loving Care...or Tender Love and Care...I forget. I think it depends on where you grow up in the south.
3370130
Ah, I thought it was Though Love and Courage, like in the army.
3370258 Actually that'd be: Tough Love and Courage. Though love is...well...you get the picture.
3370483
isn't that what I wrote?
*edit, oops, my bad, sorry, way too much soap and shower jokes
3370496 Yeah...though is a conjunction. Through Love and Courage would again, mean something else.
3368869 Thanks. I found it online...really roundabout isn't it?