"This is the right place..." Tex muttered as she looked into the orchard surrounding Sweet Apple Acres. She went through the gate and began to look around, trying to find either Simmons or Sarge outside. "So where the hell are those jack asses?"
"Who're you?" A deep voice asked from behind her as she came within forty yards of the farm.
"There are way too many fucking horses here." Tex muttered, before whipping her head around to be face to face with a large red pony that had nothing but a bit of straw between his teeth. "I'm Tex."
"Name's Big Macintosh. Most folks call me Big Mac." Big Mac said, narrowing his eyes. "And your name don't ring any good bells, so ah'd 'ppreciate if you got off mah families farm."
"Yeah? And what are you going to do if I don't leave?"
"Ah'd forcibly remove you from the area."
"You haven't heard about me yet?" Tex asked. "The pony from the Everfree that kicked those three stooges' asses?"
"Ah heard of ya, but that don't mean ah'm afraid of ya." Big Mac said with a small chuckle. "Now are ya gunna leave or-"
"I'm looking for Sarge and Simmons."
Big Mac nodded and placed his hoof in his lips, allowing him to whitle sharply. After a few seconds Winona ran up to Big Mac, tail wagging rapidly. He bent down, whispered something to Winona and she took off towards the farmhouse.
"What was that about?"
"Told her t' get Sarge." Big Mac said, walking up to one of the apple trees. He bucked the tree lightly, and an apple fell onto the grass beside him.
"Why can't I just go in and talk to him?"
"Don't trust ya." Big Mac said simply as he took a bite out of the apple.
"Either you're extremely brave, or really fucking stupid." Tex furrowed her brow, tempted to hurt Big Mac.
"Well ah may not be th' sharpest of nails, but that don't mean ah'm stupid." Big Mac grunted, fully understanding who she was and what she could do. "So ah guess ah'm just brave."
A loud bark came from behind the pair, and they turned to see Sarge and Simmons opening the door to the farmhouse. Simmons paused when he saw Tex, but Sarge remained uninterested and simply continued out the door.
"What are you doing here?" Sarge asked curiously.
"I came to ask a few questions."
"And if I refuse?"
"I'll break your legs." Tex said threateningly, turning to see if Big Mac would react, but he continued to show disinterest.
"Tough choice." Sarge said thoughtfully. "What do these questions involve."
"You and the other idiots."
"Alright." Sarge said, motioning his head to invite her inside.
"Thanks for getting them... I guess..." Tex said, starting towards the Reds.
"Say, do ya know who this Gary fella is?" Big Mac asked quietly.
"I don't think I'm at liberty to say." Tex said, surprised that she hesitated. "Why?"
"Just wonderin'." Big Mac said, finishing off the apple. Tex shrugged and continued towards the farmhouse. Big Mac threw the core on the grass next to him and resumed chewing on his piece of straw. "Ah didn't hear a no."
Tex walked up to the front door, where Simmons was still frozen in place, eyeing Tex warily.
"Quit standing around an get in here, or get going." Sarge grunted from inside.
"Yes sir." Simmons said quickly, running in front of Tex to get away from her.
Tex smiled to herself, happy that she still instilled fear in at least some ponies. Tex walked in after a few seconds, until she came into a room where Sarge was sitting next to a table, talking to an elderly pony.
"Oh, is that your friend?" Granny Smith asked pleasantly. Her eyes widened slightly and her smile grew larger for a brief moment. "Are ya hungry?"
"Not really." Tex muttered. "I'm really just here to talk to-"
"Nonsense, you can't speak on an empty stomach." Granny Smith tutted, before trotting into the kitchen.
Tex rolled her eyes before sitting next to the table. She looked at the walls of the room, one of which was covered in family photos.
"I'm surprised you haven't threatened to kill the Apple family yet." Simmons noted as Tex's attention drew back to them.
"One of them is just a kid, and the granny and that Big Mac guy seem alright." Tex said idly.
"You think he's alright?" Simmons scoffed. "That's hard to believe."
"He has a lot of balls to stand up to me."
Simmons and Sarge looked at each other an sighed.
"It's lines like that that remind me that Donut is six feet under." Sarge said in an odd tone.
"Good." Tex said coldly, reminded of what he did to her. "Besides those three idiots with wings, the horses who live here seem pretty... I don't know, docile I guess. No reason to go on a killing spree. Yet."
"So how about you cut to the chase. Why are you here?" Sarge asked firmly.
"I ask myself that a lot." Tex sighed, but quickly became serious. "Have you guys noticed anything different about the others?"
"No. Anything else?"
"You mean you haven't seen Grif be active rather than being his regular jack ass self?"
"No, Grif's still a lazy bastard." Sarge muttered.
"Here ya go deary." Granny Smith said as she entered the room once more, this time holding a tray that had a bowl of soup on top of it.
"Thanks." Tex muttered, forcing a thin smile.
"Not a problem. It's so nice to meet so many of Applejack's friends." Granny Smith laughed.
Tex remained silent as Granny Smith left the room, then she stared at the bowl of soup.
"Don't get me started on the food here. I've had nothing to eat except apples for the past few months." Sarge shivered.
"So these ponies don't eat meat? Figures." Tex grunted, pushing the bowl of apple soup further up the table. She turned to Simmons and raised her brow. "So are you sure you haven't noticed any changes with any of the others?"
"Not that I've noticed." Simmons said quietly.
"Caboose? Tucker? Church? They seem the same to you?" Tex asked seriously, this time the question was directed at Sarge.
"I like to keep out of the Blues way nowadays." Sarge said honestly, before adorning a large smirk. "Now drink, or eat, the soup. Don't want Granny Smith to get upset that you refused her famous apple soup, do you?"
"I guess not." Tex said, pulling the bowl of soup towards her, mind turning on what Sarge had just said.
"So why the interest in us all of a sudden?" Simmons asked, both nervously and curiously.
"I guess I just need to know if you guys have been getting the shit beaten out of you, and how much work I have to catch up on." Tex said, downing the bowl of apple soup in a matter of seconds. She threw the bowl back on the table and looked around. "How can you stand this place?"
"What do you mean?" Sarge asked.
"The residents seem so damn friendly and everything is just so damn bright and happy." Tex said disgustedly.
"Yeah, it is kind of feminine." Simmons agreed.
"I've just tried ignoring it, but it's been pretty difficult." Sarge grunted.
"Well, as expected you haven't been helpful in the slightest, so I guess I'll leave now." Tex said, beginning to leave, but paused at the door. "So what does that Big Mac guy want to do with Gamma?"
"I don't know. I haven't told Big Mac about him."
"Right..." Tex said, leaving the farmhouse.
Mo ha ha, oh you.
also, yet............
I love where this is going....
now to go back to reading Lez Ponies
Not bad. Also, do you mind if I use this as canon for my own fic?
rolling for first!
and great story!
haven't gotten a good nights sleep in many nights from staying up just to read each new chapter.
keep up the good work
edit: dammit, missed first
864121
Sure. For what fic, if you don't mind me asking?
I feal sorry for Gary if big Mac finds him.
Big Mac's thoughts
"I reckon that I'll teach Gary a lesson or two about prodding his Excalibur in my sister's glorious rock."
864157
I'm not actually sure how that'd turn out. Either Gary'd lie his way out of it and Big Mac'd buy it (which I kinda expect), or Gary would get his skull shattered. Funny either way, especially considering Gary'd call Big Mac a shisno at least once.
864155
It's a work in progress. It's pretty much going to be a huge crossover between a number of series that all takes place on Vechs' Super Hostile Minecraft Maps.
another awesome chapter!
864157 Really? I think Gary deserves it. One does not simply control one of the mane six and come out not beaten to a pulp.
I guess I can kinda see what you said about expanding on Tex's character, but it kinda seems to me that she's just acting a bit nicer all of a sudden.
864250
Right now it's because she's trying to get answers for certain things.
so now that we know what Theta's fragment is (watch RvB season 10 to find out), how will that change the story?
OMG Tex didn't hate somepony for once!
Like a boss.
You can't talk on a full stomach ?
Yah mean empty?
Why doesn't this series have a TV Tropes page?
864107 that's quite the coincidence, i was going to do the same.
"Nonsense, you can't speak on a full stomach."
wat
Anyways... So, is this... What, in-story day per chapter? It'd be nice to keep track...
864442>>864626
Well, technically you can't talk on a full stomach either. You'd be digesting too much and have an awful stomach ache and wouldn't feel like talking.
Quick be distracted. Oh look, a plot! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_plot.png
864632 Yes but then eating (as granny gives her soup) wouldn't help then. You shan't distract me foul beast.
864644
But Granny Smith's soup has magical properties that when you eat it, it half empties your stomach. That's why it's so famous.
Checkmate. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Rainbow_dealwithit.png
864495 Quick. Go make one. And make sure to make references (and links) to other tropes. Darkwing's thoughts will be the gateway to entrapping them FOOREEVER
864653 Eugh. Why would she make soup that makes you hungry? Unless its a brilliant marketing scheme, but I can't see the Granny of the Element of Honesty doing that. Quick, go edit it. Enough of your trickery.
gifs.gifbin.com/1232904062_hypno%20toad.gif
Hypnotoad demands edits. All Glory to the Hypnotoad
864674
Pah, your foolish little- ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.
864656
I tried at one point...
But I couldn't really figure it out...
This series deserves one...
Free Internet to the guy who creates it. Plus ten cookies. And a picture of a Kitty.
A. Donuts death remains unconfirmed, but this is unknown to everyone else.
B. Big Mac, Gary didn't do what you think he did-BOW-CHICKA-BOW-WOW! Tucker? How in the fu-never mind.
864769 What kind of cookie? Also I could prob figure it out but I don't want to right the information.
864685 (Tackles and proceeds to beat the everlasting shot out of you.) NEVER!!!
864787 HOW DARE YOU. You're supposed to be dead. And if you're not, I'll have to kill you again. Pulls out fighting gloves.
Gamma, be afraid. Be very afraid.
864674 I have learned to defy hypno toad *puts on blind fold and headphones* TAKE THAT HYPNO TOAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
864807 Ehh. I don't care about you.
864798 (Pulls out Rocket Launcher) OH, YOU FOOL! YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO FRANK? HA! YOU ARE TALKING TO AN EVIL GUINUS!!! HA-HA-HA-HA!!!! (Fires Launcher.)
864825 (Dodges Rocket). You fool, you fired at me. A good rocket always aims at the ground.(Pulls out hammer of dawn)
864782
I am actually considering sending real fucking cookies(doers choice) to whoever makes the page. You hear that. Real damned cookies.
Is that incentive enough, readers?
864838 (Hops on motorcycle [Ghost] and drives away.)
864874
How many cookies of what kind/with what ingredients and are you demanding a high quality page or does it simply have to contain all the links and such EDIT also will you pay shipping costs wait what the hell happened to my punctuation
864874 Hmm. I'd prob have to register to make the page (and even then it might not be accepted) but how would I know you wouldn't poison me?
864897 (Charges a hammer-like targeting device for a satellite that draws you in a flings you out. You land on the moon) Have fun biiiatch.
864904
Depends on the author of the page's preference for the cookies. This story needs a high quality page due to the sheer size of the damn thing.
Not sure about shipping. Will be dealt with at the appropriate time.
864916
Why the fuck would I poison you? Then I wouldn't have someone to manipulate later.
864916 Oh. My. Fucking. God...YES! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I WANTED TO GO TO THE MOON! THIS IS THE BEST DAY IF MY LIFE, AND THE WORST DAY OF YOURS!!!
gary escaped?!?! holy crap i have to tell the papers an-- no wait, that isnt a shocker in the least bit.
864904>>864916>>864963 One TVTropes page, coming right up! I got this, don't worry!
TVTropes page for the win.
864674
You know what? Fuck hypnotoad! I'm gonna do to hypnotoad what I did to the devil! *Starts playing Devil Went Down to Georgia on his trusty fiddle*
864916>>865259
You know what, I'm intervening! *Kicks both your asses with trusty fiddle* When you get to hell, tell Satan I said "With a fiddle!"
865976
Would you like your cookies?
Oh, and, it does need to be indexed.
It's going to be very awkward when Big Mac meets Gamma.
866205 You can keep my cookies. I have cake.
864261
Hey, DarkWing...
That line about Winona wouldn't happen to be a nod at a certain other fic we may have both read yesterday-ish, was it?
Because that would make this Chapter about 20% cooler! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png
I can't help but feel this story is a bit overrated.
Don't get me wrong, the concept overall is quite humorous. I mean, RVB combined with MLP? Who wouldn't want that in a story? The way you write is simplified to a degree to where everyone is capable of understanding it and therefore gets the humor. I also have to compliment you for the pairings such as Grif and Fluttershy, Simmons and Rarity, Sarge and Applejack, and etc. To be honest, I never expected any of these to happen in a lifetime, but thanks to you, they did - with satisfactory outcomes, of course. Can't wait for them to be fully developed out.
At the same time, that simplicity leaves a lot to be desired. Each chapter lacks description, never really having much emotion to feel behind the words. There is such thing as "open for interpretation", but this seems too open to the point of the story having little to no substance. It's like Coca Cola without the sweetness, democracy without any freedom, and Kate Winsor without any of the sexiness. (Yes, I went there. What you gonna do? ) Compared to stories like "Lez Ponies" and "Love Mine", this seems more like it was written by a rookie writer who walks in a straight line rather than climb upward in the learning ability. Also, what' with the amount of chapters? As much as people love to see a good story continue, I don't think it should be carried to the extent of a single story having 100+ chapters.
Overall, this story is good, but needs much improvement to be anything above average.
864815 WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I CANT HEAR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M WEARING HEADPHONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
866952 DONT TRY TO GET HIM TO CHANGE THIS MASTERPIECE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BESIDES HE HAS TO KEEP THEM UN DETAILED TO UPDATE THIS OFTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!