Rainbow Dash groaned as another boom sounded through the night. She rolled over onto her stomach and covered her head with a pillow, trying to drown out the sound and lights that came every few seconds.
Normally, she rather enjoyed fireworks. They were awesome. But when she lived in a cloud house in the sky and her new neighbors celebrated some stupid holiday in the middle of the night they tended to be much louder and much more dangerous. This last point was proven when a rocket shot right through her floor, leaving a trail of smoke behind it as it exploded just above her ceiling, leaving a large hole in the roof. Rainbow Dash screamed in pain and anger, covering her ears while rubbing her eyes with her wings.
Alright, she has had enough. She dove through the cloud floor, dodging another rocket, turning around to see it take another chunk out of her house.
"ALRIGHT! WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!" She yelled when she landed right next to the Griffons that had moved in below her.
"Heya, Miss. Dash!" One of them said. "Come to celebrate with us?"
"No, I cam to see why the buck you guys are shooting fireworks through my house! Seriously, I could have been killed!"
"Oh, we're sorry, Rainbow. I guess we just got carried away. It is a special day, you know."
"Actually, I don't know. What's so special about today?"
The family of Griffons looked at her like she sprouted a second head.
"It's Amareican Independence day!" One of them cried. "How do you not know of the greatest holiday ever?"
"Look, guys, I get you are proud of your heritage and stuff, but this isn't Amareica, this is Equestria, and we don't celebrate it here, got it?"
"Well maybe you should! Do you Equestrians hate us because we wooped your tails?"
"What? What does that-"
"Maybe you're just racist, are you?"
"Amareican isn't even a race!" Rainbow yelled. "Would you guys listen to me?"
"No, because you're anti-Amareican! How could you not celebrate the founding of the greatest country ever?"
"BECAUSE EQUESTRIANS DON'T CELEBRATE IT! IT ISN'T AN EQUESTRIAN HOLIDAY! YOU AMAREICANS ARE SO FREAKING CLOSED-MINDED THAT YOU THINK EVERYONE LIKES YOU! YOU THINK YOU ARE THE KINGS OF THE WORLD! SERIOUSLY, THE ONLY THING I HATE MORE THAN AN AMAREICAN IS A CHEESE-EATING SURRENDER MONKEY!"
"The French? Yeah, we hate them too."
"I'm glad we can agree on something. But can you guys take down that flag? I'm sort of offended by it."
"Buck you, Rainbow Dash! We ain't doing that because we're Amareicans!"
"MAREICA!" The others yelled in response.
Amareica is best pony.
Brb, commissioning character art. Thankfully, I have a few sketches owed to me. Give me a few days. I'll get you Amareica.
And then you will write a story about Her adventures throughout the heathen Equestrian landscapes and Her glorious conversion of the heretics to the One True Religion, Patriotism.
I'll edit it. Or coauthor it. Or do anything I need to to publish it.
Anything. Legality will not be an issue.
Out of curiosity, are there any nuclear bunkers within ten or fifteen minutes of your house?
That was pretty funny. I feel sorry Rainbow though, with all those holes in her house. Maybe she should move.
Anyway, happy independence day.
--Sollace
Im a little sad at this and happy at the same time because Rainbow Dash is right about us...
4651309 Umm... I think there's a tornado shelter... maybe some decommissioned bunkers in a nearby city, but I'm pretty sure my town doesn't have any.
Also, if you create Amareica as a pony/griffon/ect. I will squee with delight.
4651335 Not ALL of us. The way I see it Americans fall into 2 categories: Those that are staunchly patriotic and those who pretty much hate everything about the government. Sometimes we fall into both.
4651318 Well it isn't HER fault the wind blew her house directly over their back yard!
4651490 Like I said, gimme a few days. I need to get to a PC.
I actually didn't thinks of doing a gryphon. That would be fun for the wings. Probably a bitch to draw, but I'm owed a bunch, so it's all good.
4651491
I only hate the government for being corrupt, but I don't really care about my country all that much...I wanna escape the free country ADVENTURE!
4651496 excellant. I await the glory of Lady Amareica.
4651505
Giggles. You have failed me. You know the punishment. It's time for the sack.
4651514 damn it. I blame my lack of sleep.
4651522 It's too late. You have been marked with the Doom of Ponycles. Should you err again, the sentence is...
Permanently living in...
4651533 idiomorigins.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/burlap_gift_sack.jpg
That's me in there.
4651541 Huh. Guess I won't need to convene the Words Council on you. They're getting closer to figuring out why I stifle giggles when I hear their name, or its acronym.
4651504 but...but... AMERICA!
4651562
If you think about it, no country is really actually free, but every country that isn't your own is seen as a new sort of fun. ADVENTURES!
4651575 unless they're seen as not a fun adventure, but rather a thing to avoid at all costs because they will murder you dead.
4651589
Yeah...a few countries aren't that good, but the ones that are are fun and adventure!
Yay Canadians!
Can I drop a French joke here?
Those griffons remind me of my idiot neighbors growing up who'd bootleg fireworks in from Ohio (where nobody gives a fuck), and just set them off semi-indiscriminately (with increasing amounts of beer in their system) from about 7:00 PM through midnight for the first five nights of July. Damn near set another neighbor's tree on fire more than once. Awesome and scary at the same time.
4652915 Please do, I'm all for making fun of the French.
4653077 I live in Ohio. Trust me, I know all about our Fireworks "laws" which are really just suggestions. I live two minutes away from a phantom fireworks store and every year they have cars overflowing from their parking lot.
4653177
files.sharenator.com/frenchgunsforsale_French_Demotivationals-s750x600-28879.jpg
Who can outdo this?
4653235 THAT IS THE GREATEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN.
4653191 Cool ... what part? I have a brother in Dayton, and grew up in western Pennsylvania, so I know the state decently. Wouldn't be quite as big of a bonanza if so many of the surrounding states didn't pretty much all have significantly tougher laws, though.
4653426 I live in stark county. Not going to get much more specific than that because, you know, security and privacy, but Yeah, I'm an Ohioan. about 2 hours either way to Cleveland or Columbus, about 30 minutes to Akron.
4653502 Understandable ... I have a vague idea of where that's at, but that's about it. At least you're reasonably close to interesting stuff ...
Amareica!
BUCK YEAH!!
I promised this a while ago.
Here she is, ladies, gentlemen, and Gallagsp...
AMAREICA!
33.media.tumblr.com/b9d75ebc79a9fef728ba8a1fcb587e0c/tumblr_n9e2wqePo51rgsk50o1_1280.png
And then later, at the bar,
38.media.tumblr.com/b78dc1cb5261f52119fff10b6427cd02/tumblr_n9e2wqePo51rgsk50o2_1280.png
Courtesy of Wiggles.