AMICITAS FLIGHT THREE – MISSION DAY 260
ARES III SOL 257
Dear Dr. Shields,
I spent the morning finishing the removal of all the salvageable equipment from the interior of Rover 1. All that’s left is the computer, the radio system, the O2 and N2 tanks, and an air fan. I yanked the rest of the life support because it’ll be needed, at least in part, to connect the Sirius tandem rover life support systems together. Tomorrow Starlight will help me depressurize the rover interior and then remove the cabin from the chassis.
It’s a good thing Starlight’s the one I need to do this, because Spitfire and Fireball practically aren’t speaking to me. Cherry is, but she’s too busy trying to put the team back together to hear what any of us are saying back to her.
And me? Well, I’m a bit sad, not to mention frustrated. I still don’t feel like I’ve done anything to deserve the anger I’m feeling from everyone. I’ve backed off so far that I’m not even talking to the others when we drive out to the cave. The most meaningful conversation I’ve had with anyone in the past two days has been conducted through the walls of a cocoon.
Working inside the rover today was the first real pleasure I’ve had from doing anything in days, possibly weeks. And I don’t think that’s a good sign, because I was absolutely alone inside Rover 1 for pretty much all of it.
In response to what you said last email, I think “family time” is a terrible idea. The problem isn’t that we don’t know what pisses us off about the others. It’s that something is bringing it all to the surface right now. I don’t see a family time session as doing anything other than encouraging that anger, egging us on to say more hurtful things for the sake of being hurtful.
Not that I have any better ideas, but that one isn’t a winner. I hope you didn’t suggest it to any of the others.
Couldn’t eat much today. Finding it very difficult to do anything anywhere near the others. No appetite. Ironically, part of the problem is, I’m worrying about whether the others are eating, but I don’t dare ask, not with things as they are.
I need a distraction. Got any ideas?
Mark
Dear Dr. Shields,
What you say is not wrong but not whole. I have value at home. I have value in space. But on Mars I am no good. I have dumb ideas. I can’t eat others’ food. And now I can’t talk to Mark or ponies without get mad for no good reason.
I think partly is I am dragon. Dragons do not get along with others. Dragons do not get along with even other dragons. We are not nice.
But it was never this bad before. I don’t know why. I can’t understand it.
You are right that I should say sorry. But I am afraid to say sorry. I am afraid I will mess it up and get mad and get others mad. I think they mad at me anyway and they should be. I started this. I should not have blow up at Mark. I still don’t know why I did.
Right now I wish Dragonfly make a second cocoon. She is only one I can talk to anymore.
Fireball.
Dear Dr. Shields,
I think you right team need down time. But I think team also need together time. If team not get over bad time together, they not be team after.
I think you right I should apolthing to Mark. I still think he talk down to us, but now he not talk at all. He scared of us. That not what I want. And now I think he not hear me if I say sorry. Sorry not help any more.
Some time I get too look at self, not enough look at others, I don’t know English word for that. It is worst part of me as leader. It get me in trouble times. I think now it get all us in trouble. I help break team. If I shut up, Fireball would say sorry and this all be over. Now no one can say nothing.
Is good thing I not lead now. Cherry at least try keep us working team. I not know where to start.
Is good thing too all we drink is water. As is, feel like eat lots salt.
Told Dragonfly to get out here today. We need her.
Spitfire
Dear Dr. Shields,
I know my fellow crew members are people just like me. That’s exactly the problem! I’m working through my fears and anxieties. I’m not biting off their heads every time I say more than two syllables. Why can’t they? I keep having to remind myself that it’s wrong to use magic to make people behave, because it’s so bucking tempting!
At least Cherry is still trying- I give her that. But mostly what she’s doing is begging. Everyone’s too ashamed to even answer her (me included) when she asks why we can’t get along. What she’s doing isn’t working, and it’s obvious to everybody. As for the others, Mark’s given up, Fireball and Spitfire want to stay angry, and the only time anyone listens to me is when I’m reading from that hobbit book!
I really miss Dragonfly right now. She had blind spots, and she was as selfish as you’d expect a changeling to be, but she knew how to get ponies to do what she wanted- without magic. (At least, I assume without magic. I never saw her light up her horn when she was schmoozing any of us. But maybe that’s a changeling trick they can do without casting a spell… I need to ask Twilight Sparkle about that.)
Can’t you do something to get these people off their dignity and back to work? I am sick and tired of being the only functional pony around here!
Starlight Glimmer
Dear Dr. Shields,
I am out of ideas. I can’t get any of the others to answer me. They all obey orders, all but one: they won’t get along.
This is not what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to fly. I never wanted to live forever in space, or on another planet. I wanted to fly blimps, planes, balloons, choppers, rockets. Not “command” them, fly them. Not cut them apart to turn into cars, FLY them. And I never, never, never, never wanted to boss other ponies. Never.
Now we are broken into two sides. Mark and Starlight talk, a bit. Fireball and Spitfire talk, a bit. And both sides listen to me, a bit, but not enough. I can’t get everyone together at once.
The only one who listens anymore is Dragonfly. She can’t turn her eyes away. I miss her terribly. I miss laughing at silly bug. I miss feeling good about adventure bug. I miss someone who always obey, always support, always listen.
Please tell me what I can do to get it back.
Cherry Berry
Doctor’s notes:
Mark is engaging in displacement and avoidance behaviors consistent with his known tendency to avoid confrontation. He also has not yet given up on his belief that the aliens are somehow under his guardianship, which may be subconsciously affecting his treatment of them and exacerbating the symptoms of their emotional exhaustion.
Fireball talks and writes like a teenager. His self-esteem issues are front and center in his latest email. There needs to be a program to find ways to make him feel more valuable to the team.
Spitfire is too fond of her armchair psychology to listen to more professional opinions. That said, her admission of partial guilt is a positive step. True understanding of how to maintain a healthy team dynamic might be within her grasp.
Starlight Glimmer is digging into her bad place. She’s gone defensive. A different counseling approach is required to reach her now. Must think about this overnight.
Cherry Berry refuses to be forceful about enforcing morale remedies. Lewis would not have this problem. Must ask, if a chance arises after all this is over, if ponies have a submarine fleet. In the meantime, need to find ways to suggest confidence building exercises.
The latest round of emails have two shared themes: self-blame for the current state of affairs in the Hab so deep that it has become an obstacle to healing, and an intense knowledge of the missing crew member in their lives.
Solution #1: shift counseling from individual to group and promote exercises that remove the stigma of individual guilt.
Solution #2: Administrators need to contact alien space program leaders again for advice. Absolute top priority must now be given to persuading Dragonfly to come out of that cocoon. She is clearly mission-critical to crew morale in addition to her other functions. The longer this is delayed, the more all other schedule items will slip.
#2 requires a brief chat with Kapoor. #1 is this doctor’s job, and it looks like an all-nighter…
hrrmmmmmm
All the feels... that said, I would have expected this kind of thing to show up way sooner if these are the current reactions; unless Dragonfly was really THAT good.
Kris, you are a hero for getting this done day after day, in spite of all the changes of scenery and time on the road.
This was such a sweet, sad chapter. Again I think Fireball was the highlight. Though 'apolthing' made me snort
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to make much progress on the song today, but I did fill out the rest of the blank measures that I'm going to need.
i.imgur.com/OA0ulZM.jpg
My prediction: When the team solves the social issues they have on their own, then Dragonfly will come out of her cocoon.
This. We need our bug back. #HugABug
...aaaand nobody realizes that passive love draining can still happen while Dragonfly is unconscious...
Not that she can be blamed for that. Not painting her as a villain. But seriously, there are so many signs.
8961783
Everybody wants Dragonfly. Both in the healthy way and the not so healthy one.
Hug-a-bug! Hug-a-bug! Hug-a-bug! Hug-a-bug! Hug-a-bug! Hug-a-bug! Hug-a-bug! Hug-a-bug!
I was thinking along the same lines as
8961783, that Dragonfly was sucking out all the love for herself so there wasn't enough for anyone else. No love for anyone else means hate or indifference and because of its magically induced nature a lot of confusion and "Why am I so angry?" questions.
Here's hoping spacebug gets back in control of that soon.
This is another great chapter, and probably the lowest point of the trip to Mars so far. However what I think is your greatest achievement in writing is how we got here.
Lets go way back to the start of this universe. Ok not quite the start, but fairly close to it.
Changeling Space Program at its heart is a hilarious tale based around humor for the most part. It has its serious moments, but the story is designed to get you laughing or at least smiling for most of the story. And it does so marvelously.
It takes great writing to take a Universe like the CSP one and then write a story that gets as dark and depressing as The Maretian does while maintaining some of the key characters from the original universe. Not only are their personalities the same, but nothing about these events feels unnatural. While their is a clear genre shift the instant you read the first chapter of the Maretian, at no point do you go, "Wait, really? Queen Chrysalis said that?"
Which given her personality at the start of CSP shows the gradual shift in the nature of her character. I am not sure you planned or intended to do the Maretian from the very start but regardless the character development that it took to reach the point where the Maretian makes sense is a far better example of reforming a character then anything seen on the show. The development of all the characters in this universe has been beautiful to watch, and if these events are mentioned at all in CSP, (which is not necessarily a given AND likely will only be one chapter) I have great faith you will manage to take the darkest hour of the Equestrian Space race and slide it in smoothly with the humor that characterizes the rest of the story.
8961770
Well.....cool. Wonder what kind of instruments are being used there. The print is a little too tiny to read for me.
I don't know how you do it but you write people that act like people
Huh... actually, Starlight puppeteering them for the duration would be an interesting solution. Might even work, as long as she doesn't run out of magic. Or need the others' expertise. Or go insane with loneliness.
Another fascinating chapter, thank you! The commitment to daily updates is also very appreciated, but take care of yourself too!
8961866
That's because I have it zoomed to a 75% view so you can see all the empty measures I added in preparation. For the purposes of making sheet music for the singers to read, the instrument is piano, but I intend to create more instruments later, not necessarily within Musescore, to really make this into a full song.
8961783
Yeah, I was thinking that Dragonfly's passive influence of helping was simply not there, but I realized that "hey, the cocoon absorbed lots of regular magic, but changelings apparently need both regular magic and love. won't dragonfly need more love? how can she get love in the cocoon?" and the only real way i could think was "make everyone miss her and feel sad/angry that she isn't there."
8961783
Especially since Dragonfly explicitly warned Dr. Shields. But I suppose humans are not experienced with magical effects on psychology so analysis tends to focus on non-magical effects first
"that somethingis bringing it"
"that something is bringing it"?
"No no one can say nothing."
Was that wording deliberate?
Ah, sorry about Riverfest; good luck.
Well...looks like Glimmer's sociopathy and superiority complex are taking center stage for her, when in truth if anyone should bear a strong chunk of the blame for Dragonfly getting hurt and subsequently cocooned in the way she did, it would be Glimmer's irresponsible use of damaged tools.
In response to what you said last email, I think “family time” is a terrible idea. The problem isn’t that we don’t know what pisses us off about the others. It’s that [somethingis} bringing it all to the surface right now. - missing a space there
yup it's getting bad to worst now, how soon will that rocket get there?
am just glad they don't have drugs on that hab or things are going to get trippy for them all as hell.
.......... wait damn would have been great for them all if they have those cocoons that give them the best time in them
Dangit, now I'm super worried that Dragonfly is unintentionally causing that emotional dependency she warned the others was a sign that they were being drained too much by her. But honestly, it's hard to tell; it really would make sense anyway for everyone to be missing their absent member, especially when she really was the one working to keep everyone positive. I hope it's the latter and not the former, which is a much more serious and harder-to-solve problem.
8961783
I think NASA deciding to (finally) contact the Equestrian leadership over this is a good idea - due to the stunted nature of the communications with Equestria, chances are the ESA hasn't picked up on how bad things are getting. Humans don't know enough about magic/changelings to realize Dragonfly siphoning off love from the environment and not leaving enough for everyone else might be an issue, and the maretians themselves are probably too deep in their flunk/depression/dark thoughts/seething anger to realize much of anything right now.
I imagine the ESA side, once they get relayed the full seriousness and the sudden onset of the situation, will zero in on the potential cause real quick, especially with Chrysalis on board. Though granted, I am uncertain what the solution might be at this point ... limiting their exposure to Dragonfly? That's hard to do considering she is in the farm cave where they spend significant time in, and might be bad for her in turn as well ...
8961783
Are there? Are there really? For us with our 3rd person perspective and meta knowledge, sure. But from their perspective?
The Mars group is not talking to each other, so it's not like the common wish for Dragonfly is known to them. And even if it was it's not like there is anything abnormal about wanting her back. They're also all mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted, so they're not exactly thinking straight.
And for Dr. Shields "literal emotivore" isn't exactly something she's used to dealing with, not to mention the even for Changelings unprecedented near total magic deprivation Dragonfly is suffering (after all, those hibernation pods are typically for a love starvation, not magic starvation which is practically impossible in Equestria) making it even more obfuscated. "Positive emotions are being magicly drained leaving only negative ones" isn't exactly part of her normal thinking process for dealing with mental problems.
All of this comes together to basically being the perfect blindspot for all parties involved.
"Somethingis".
Paragraph 4.
Too bad Marks pop culture references are failing him at the moment. If it didn’t he would realize that an outside force is acting on them. Like Loki’s staff or the mood slime from ghostbusters II.
8961783
I mean, it is her fault. She'd be absorbing love even if they weren't intentionally trying to feed her, and it was her decision to enter the cocoon in the first place. In addition to nearly killing Mark she's caused him to become depressed, and is hurting everyone else in different ways. And through mental manipulation. Unintentionally, but it's getting bad. There's a limit to how much harm you can cause accidentally before that stops mattering.
8962027
I believe it really shouldn't be a blind spot for Dr. Shields and anyone at NASA to whom she released Dragonfly's initial warning email from Sol 120 pursuant to Dragonfly's goodbye note instructions. Even accounting for typical symptoms of cabin fever and depression, signs of Dragonfly's warning sign #3 (and maybe a bit of warning sign #1, though it's a stretch) appear to be developing, and should be coming across in the most recent emails Dr. Shields read. Maybe she has been burning the midnight oil too much recently, and has forgotten about Dragonfly's original email, but considering Mark reported the magical black hole effect in his Mission Log on Sol 227, SOMEONE should be able to put two and two together (unless I'm mistaken and the Mission Logs don't go out in the overnight data stream).
8962052
worst case they all become like this
media1.tenor.com/images/57d8f2c7639b2a8e15a5112ff1fd03ca/tenor.gif?itemid=4247110
Depression, and thoughts often turning to Dragonfly... I really hope I'm overthinking this.
Goodness, that's not suspicious at all.
Yep, not suspicious at all.
8961983 In a survival situation you do not throw away anything that can still be of use unless keeping it is actively more dangerous than dumping it. As beat up as battery B was, it still worked. It was bad luck and a little poor staging that led to its failure coming at the moment it did.
8962039 Thanks to everybody spotting my typos, but especially thanks to you for making it easy for me to find the typo spotted.
8962491
They had other fully functional batteries. Using a damaged one to lift the engines was like using a damaged chain in an engine hoist because it hadn't actually broken when there's a new chain in the rack. They could still use the damaged battery for other uses, but for lifting out the engine it was one of the worst tools for the job. And decisions like that are, unfortunately, canon to Glimmer.
8962390
OMG, thanks for sharing my xenophobia.
I say, they're going to overfeed the rapebug and turn her into Queen Johanssonlis.
oh, this somehow made me think of a scene in "a mark of appeal" where Celestia made her horn light with an invisible (or at least not visible to the naked eye) aura, to do something surprisingly underhanded. (or should that be "underhoofed"?)
Chrysalis is gonna love hearing about #2.
#schemeharder
Of course Starlight's xenophobia is showing.
They need their hug bug back!
Hmm, why are we so quick to put the cause with Dragonfly? And disagree with nasa`s expert?
These are the symptoms of changeling overexposure.
Does these apply to the vulnerable mark?
No.
Fireball?
Nein
Spitfire?
Nope
Starlight Glimmer?
Non
Cherry Berry?
Still a no.
I do not need magical explanations when mondane suffice. And we have a trained expert on the case. Occam's razor:
8962227
That’s where the crew is heading if they don’t realize this and quickly try to unfuck things post haste.
And Dragonfly's true role is revealed; she was the lynchpin that kept the team together. It's Dragonfly's absence that's causing the friction here.
8962491
Ctrl+F helps you find a phrase. I always include the surrounding words when I quote an error.
What does a submarine fleet have to do with anything, I wonder?
9034349
Submarine crew, confined close quarters, no option to "take a walk" outside. Same kind of problem the crew experiences now.
9042328
Practically no contact with the outside world too, I think.
Starlight: "I’m not biting off their heads every time I say more than two syllables. Why can’t they? I keep having to remind myself that it’s wrong to use magic to make people behave, because it’s so bucking tempting!"
Actuality, using magic to fix this might not be a bad idea. If this isn't fixed, they're all gonna die. I think the crew might agree to mind-altering magic, if the alternative is death.
It's annoying for the readers to have to scroll down to see, or derive from the message contents, who is writing it. Email headers would solve this problem.
Ohboy, he's got it bad. Poor guy...
Yes, bug definitely needs a kick to the behind to get her out of her self-pity cocoon
Yes, keep thinking that
Hah! yeah, Lewis came from submarines, didn't she? Two extremes of travelling the unknown depths.
Damn right...
They need their Love-Bug badly.
I get the feeling that properly educated changelings could be quite effective psychiatrists.
There not just slipping but breaking. At this point i guess its about glue it together long enough to bring them home or at least a non deadly environment.
Greatest chapter in showing behind the scene breakdowns.
they dont realize there spending too much time around dragonfly, in her current state teh bug cant regulate her feeding, they are letting her drain them dry without realizing it...or thats what it seems like might be the major cause of this, there showing all the symptoms dragonfly warned about for the early stages of love overdraw...some even the late ones...
10829756
Most Changeling including fic have passiv drain when in a bad place. Its pretty mutch a trope like Thestral/Batponys like Mangos.
But their team is really not very compatible...