Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
Crunching hoofsteps in the dirt announced Rainbow's arrival on the crest of a desert hill.
Listing Breeze stood at the top, squinting down at the lengths of Los Alamules. Without looking, the larger pegasus murmured: "Ate your fill?"
"I ate enough," Rainbow replied.
"Need to freshen up?" Listing outstretched her wing, "pointing" towards the heart of the junkyard behind them. "There're buckets of water hauled in from Las Pegasus. Some of them are still clean."
Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "What is this, a daycare?"
Listing Breeze exhaled. "If I'm gonna have your help in this, I need you all in."
"Listy, just relax," Rainbow said. She came to a stop by the mare's side. "Ponyville hasn't softened me up half as bad as you think."
"Good." Listing cleared her throat. "Because the game has changed."
Rainbow squinted. "In what way?" Her muscles tightened. "Don't tell me that we may have a problem."
"...we may have a problem."
Rainbow groaned. "What is it now?"
Listing pointed down the hillside. "See that dense line of dark shadows moving north along the dirt path?"
"The herd that's kicking up all the dust?" Rainbow remarked. Her ears tickled to the distant sound of roaring hooves. "Almost look like buffalo. They sound like buffalo."
"Because they are buffalo," Listing said. "It's the group that the Desert Hounds were wanting to deal with."
"What the hay is bringing them out to Los Alamules?"
"Tradition," Listing snorted. "This used to be their ancient stampede grounds."
"Is there a place in Equestria that isn't ancient buffalo stampede grounds?"
"I know, right?" Listing smirked slightly. "Anyways, looks like they're doing a ritualistic sprint across the desert valley. This would normally not be such a big deal..." She pointed at the northern horizon. "Except for that."
Rainbow shaded her eyes with her fetlock.
Off in the distance, she made out a very small... but very real presence of dark figures drawing rickety vehicles. They headed southwest, angled directly for the Hump Gang compound.
"Mules?" Rainbow remarked.
Listing nodded. "Delivering something from Las Pegasus. Probably parasprite dust or some other crap." Her nostrils flared. "They couldn't be assed to know what the buffalo are up to."
"Heh... I see what you did there."
"But that doesn't change the fact that they're likely going to meet up with the buffalo in the dead center of Los Alamules at this rate."
"Yeah, and?" Rainbow squinted. "That'll leave them more distracted, right? It'll only work in our favor."
"Except that the mules and the buffalo from around here totally hate each other," Listing said. "Every time they meet up, the buffalo threaten to gore the mules' bellies apart, and the Hump Gang lock up their compound completely and hurl insults from behind their safe walls."
"Oh, terrific." Rainbow Dash clenched her jaw. "So, in other words... if they meet up... like they're about to in a few minutes..."
"...there'll be no chance of us entering their base to get the bits back."
"So... what does that mean?" Rainbow shrugged. "We delay for another evening?"
"The mules might not be around for another evening," Listing said. "Tomorrow, because of the buffalo, they might be completely closed for business." She sighed. "And there's no telling how long that will last."
"Alright, then..." Rainbow Dash flapped her wings. "...so the best thing to do here is stall the buffalo so that they don't run into the mules. Easy peasy."
Listing gaped at her. "...the Hell are you doing?"
"What does it look like?" Rainbow remarked, hovering downhill. "I'm going to go and stall the buffalo." She pointed. "You're welcome to fly ahead and get the Hump Gang to enter Los Alamules faster or something... if that's possible."
"You don't know the first thing about these punks!" Listing Breeze said. "They're nothing like Ponyvilleans or Cloudsdalians..."
"Yeah, but they're like buffalo, aren't they?" Rainbow smirked. "And I've dealt with buffalo twice."
Listing cocked her head aside. "Since when?"
Rainbow stuck her nose out. "There's a lot you don't know about the adventures I've been on."
"Hrmmmff..." Listing inhaled. "Clearly I don't."
"Go talk to the Hump Gang. Or don't. I don't care." Rainbow flew off. "Either way, I'll handle this."
"I'm still on the fence about that..."
"Oh for Pete's sake, Listy!" Rainbow groaned loudly as she flew faster and beyond earshot. "You've fed me. The least you can do is friggin' trust me!"
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So this could actually turn out Buffalo. With RD's luck maybe they Buffalo her, possibly Buffalo-ing her out.
Or you Buffalo, Buffalo her at Buffalo, who knows. Buffalo.
Because mules are also known as asses.
So observeth Sharp Quill, a.k.a. Admiral Obvious, a.k.a. Essay Quill Checker.
Incoming headbutts.
Ah, yes. Buffalo. Should be a cake walk. Not.
All signs point to things exploding fantastically.
Continue.
BUFFALO!
gawd things are about to get really annoying
Not the buffalo...
I'd rather listen to the Darkstine ponies again. Midnight enjoyed that.
Sarcastic Statement: Those who would be residents of the city which would be Darkstine spoke in a matter that would be considered perfect. Buffalo. Buffalo.
It's cool, Rainbow speaks headbutt!
7199523 As I said: Horribly, hilariously sideways.
7199604
Lemme fix that for you.
There.
...Tell me these are like the Appleoosan buffalo, and not the mountain buffalo.
So anyone else expecting Listing to betray Rainbow... because i am
For like the thirtieth time in this story shit is about to hit the fan
7199901
It's losing its charm tbh. I'm only here for the Applejack, as uncommon as it is.
Anyone else want to comment on how rainbow called her "Listy"?
Shit is gonna hit the fan but it's not gonna be in the way anyone's been predicting
Good old danger is better than Listing.
7200034 I still think it's an amazing story. I'm just getting impatient. Lol I have my fathers patience
7200565 Well...
FIVE YEARS LATER.
Applejack finds the letter.
What's this?
Tune in next time to find out her reaction when RD returns home in another five years.
7201505 yes.
7201514 Well, in the course of this entire story we've accomplished...
Uh...
*thinks*
Actually, list one thing we've accomplished in 1000 chapters?
I've got one:
A. Nearly die a million times.
7201523 Damn straight. As well as piss off countless other creatures that now want Dash's head on a stick.
Darn it, I think Dash is trusting Listing more than she should... The danger is looming above us, I can feel it. And don't think the use of "Listy" has escaped my notice... So it's not just mortal danger, but emotional too? Why do I still read this? Am I a masochist? By this point, probably.
7201523
From the top of my head: saving the life of AJ, applebloom, Granny Smith and saving the Apple family from bankrupcy.