When Rainbow Dash is killed, she is allowed another chance to live. All she has to do is roll the dice to determine her next lifetime.... Sequel to Feelin' Princessy.
Rainbow Dash and Vinyl Scratch have returned from the alternate universe, to find themselves still alicorns. And for some odd reason Twilight is an alicorn too... But a short time after their return, Rainbow Dash is assassinated. At the doors of death, Rainbow Dash is given a second chance. All she has to do is roll a dice to determine her fate. After being convinced it is not a scam, she hesitantly accepts.
I have no idea how this is going to turn out. I'm not particularly good with this type of story, but who knows. Rated P for PONIES Sequel to Feelin' Princessy Cover art pictures: Rainbow Dash Vinyl Scratch Dice Based off of this PMV: Link
--- The Game Of Life By: Luna Plays Minecraft Sequel to Feelin' Princessy Chapter 1 ---
"Well Vinyl, at least here we aren't viewed as tyrants." Rainbow Dash said with a nervous chuckle.
"Yes, well, we've been missing for some time and suddenly reappear as alicorns. Ponies are gonna notice." Vinyl Scratch told the rainbow maned mare.
"Right. Let's go ask Twilicorn over there if she can help us." Dash said, and walked up to the purple alicorn. "Hey Twi, can you hel-"
"Rainbow Dash? Is that really you? And Vinyl Scratch too?" Twilight asked with a shocked expression.
"Uh, yea. You se-"
"Oh thank Celestia! We all thought you were dead! I've missed you so much." Twilight said, hugging the cyan mare.
"Quit interrupting me! What do you mean, you thought we were dead? We haven't been gone for that long..." Dash said, breaking away from the hug.
"Do you really not know? You two have been missing for over a year. And why do you look like the princesses?" Twilight inquired.
"A YEAR? But...What happened to Wubsy in this universe?!" Vinyl asked, starting to freak out.
10 Months ago...
"What is that smell coming from Vinyl's old room?" Octavia asked herself, and peeked into the room. There, she saw the corpse of a starved Changeling. She closed the door, and picked up a phone, dialing a number.
"Um, yes, Dr. Mind Help? I'm going to need those therapy sessions again."
Present day...
"Well, it looks like we have a lot to talk about. Let's go to my house, and i'll have Spike get the other girls." Twilight said, and started leading them in the opposite direction of the library.
"Um, Twi? Isn't the library that way?" Rainbow asked.
"Oh I don't live there anymore. Ever since I became a princess, I've been living in Canterlot Castle. But I visit Ponyville a lot, so I bought a house here." The purple mare explained, and led them to a small house near Carousel Boutique. She invited them inside, and Closed the curtains on all windows. "Two new alicorns in town is going to have to press on the prowl. And it's bad enough you two were walking around without a disguise on." She told them. "SPIKE!" She called.
"Yea, Twilight? Is that Rainbow Dash!?" Spike gasped.
"Yes, now I need you to go find the other girls." Twilight told him.
"On it!" He said, and raced out the door. The three alicorns sat in awkward silence, until Vinyl finally asked,
"So Twilight, what's your secret to brushing this type of mane?"
---
Half of an hour later, Spike came back with Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy.
"*Gasp* Dashie! You came back! I knew you hadn't abandoned us! And your an alicorn! I'll have to start planning my 'Welcome Back Rainbow Dash And Vinyl Scratch And Congratulations On Becoming Alicorns Party!'" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, bouncing around in circles around the two mares.
"Where have you two been? Oh, we were so worried! And your manes look absolutely lovely." Rarity said to the two alicorns.
"Oh Dashie, i'm so glad you came back! I was worried something awful happened to you!" Fluttershy said, and began sobbing on Rainbow Dash's shoulder.
"Oh, don't worry girls, it was actually pretty fun. And for us, we were only gone a few days." Dash told them.
"Yea. Now, everypony take a seat. I can explain what happened." Vinyl said, and started talking about their experience in the other universe.
"So ya'll jumped into some random portal, without talking to any of us, become alicorn princesses and forget all about us? We all thought you were dead! How could you do that to us Dash? And you too Vinyl, Octavia was worried sick about ya, especially when she found that dead Changelin' in yer room!" Applejack said, her eyes flashing with anger.
"Hey, you try resisting a swirly rainbow portal! You just can't do it! And we visited alternate universe Twilight and Fluttershy *Shiver*" Rainbow snapped.
"What about he part where Celestia overthrows you?" Twilight asked.
"How did you know about that? I haven't told you about it yet." Dash inquired.
"Huh? Oh, I-I don't know. Just a feeling..." Twilight said, not sure about it herself.
"Well, that feeling was right. Trollestia came and stole Equestria from us. Then two OC characters appeared and we started arguing and singing at the same time!" Vinyl Scratch told them.
"Er, what?" Twilight asked.
"Nothing!" Vinyl said quickly.
"Well, I better write to the princess about this. Maybe she can help you two. Spike, take a letter." Twilight said, and spike took out a quill and a piece of paper.
"Dear Princess Celestia, Rainbow Dash and Vinyl Scratch have returned safe and sound, with quite a tale. But they have also returned as alicorns. They say that they came from an alternate universe where they were princesses instead of you and Luna. I fear they have already been seen, and it's just a matter of time until they are all over the front page of the newspaper. I await your quick reply. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle"
Spike sent the letter with his green fire, and it was on it's way to the princess.
"So Twilight, while we wait, do you mind telling me and Vinyl why you're a princess?"
---
"My Prince, they have returned!" A light green mare said.
"Good. They will pay for what they did to me. And for Celestia's sake, get me more fritters!"
I am glad your friends have returned and that they are safe, but them still being alicorns upon re-entering this universe has me puzzled. I am coming to Ponyville tommorow morning to see for myself. Sincerely, Princess Celestia of Equestria. P.S. Tell Rainbow Dash and Vinyl Scratch that I am sorry for what I did.
"Well I don't forgive you! That's it, i'm joining the Lunar Republic." Vinyl stated.
"Me too, because Celestia is so unrainbow." Dash said, crossing her hooves.
"Right... Well let me see if I have a spell that will hide your extra appendages and make your manes normal." Twilight said, taking a book off of a small bookshelf. "Aha, illusion spells. Now hold still." She said, and her horn began to glow. Rainbow Dash and Vinyl Scratch's manes became normal, and they looked like a unicorn and a pegasus again.
"Good. Now I wish to become part of the Lunar Republic. Take me to Luna, so the deed may be done." Rainbow said.
"Um, alright. She is normally at the nightclub down the road pretending to be a normal pony, but a normal pony who is actually a vampony, but a vampony who is actually a stallion vampony, but a stallion vamony who is actually a turkey, but a turkey who is actually a turtle, but a turtle who is actually a broom." Twilight explained.
"Great. I can't wait to go see our new ruler who is pretending to be a normal pony, who is actually a vampony, who is actually a stallion vampony, who is actually a turkey, who is actually a turtle, who is actually a broom." Vinyl Scratch said happily.
"Well you better go now before that broom turns into a mop. Bye bye!" Twilight said and pushed them out the door. When they were gone, she let out a loud sigh of relief.
"Dang, did those two get hit by the idiot stick in that universe as well?"
---
Rainbow and Vinyl walked into the flashy night club. After scanning the overly crowded room, Vinyl noticed a broom in the corner. The two alicorns in disguise walked up to the broom, which then unzipped itself to become a mop, which unzipped itself to become Fluttershy, who unzipped herself to be Princess Luna.
"Hi Princess, we want to join the Lunar Republic." Vinyl said.
"Very well. Wait... you're not one of those tax collectors, are you?" Luna asked.
"Er, no?"
"Okay. Here are your Lunar Republic badges. They have my face on them so nopony gets confused." She said, and gave the two ponies their badges.
"Hooray! I'm a part of something now! Say Luna, can I say something on the stage?" Rainbow asked. Luna nodded, and Rainbow dashed onto the stage. All eyes fell on her, making her really nervous.
"Um... Hi everypony.... Crap I forgot what I was gonna say... Um... Noes goes is a fat kid!" Dash said, placing her hoof on her noes. Every other pony did the same, except for a little yellow filly. "Haha, you're the fat kid, Aurora."
"Hey, almost bein' turned into a rainbow stressed me out!" The filly, with a surprisingly masculine voice yelled.
"I am outraged by this whole 'fat kid' thing!" A brown colt with a feminine voice snapped.
"Alright, someone get the girly colt out of here." Rainbow said.
"Ha, that's just what my mom would say." He chuckled, and was escorted out of the club.
"Er, okay. Well I guess I'll jus-" Rainbow was interrupted by a loud bang, and fell to the floor. Every pony then began to scream. Vinyl looked at her friend in horror.
"Sweet Luna, Dash is dead! But this means... Slate lied to me!"
---
Rainbow Dash awoke in a large room with two large golden gates. There was an office desk in front of them with a hooded figure sitting at it.
"Aw, is this because of the fat kid joke?" Dash asked.
"Er, no? It's because you're dead." The figure told her.
"But that means.... Slate lied to me!" She snapped.
"Not exactly. Alicorns may be immortal, but they can still be killed. So, whenever an alicorn dies, they are given the opportunity to be reborn as any pony in existence. That pony is determined by this set of dice." It said, producing some dice out of it's cloak.
"So I get to live again? Awesome! Wait... This isn't a scam, it it?" Dash asked.
"Um no...?"
"Okay..." Dash said, and took the dice from the figure. She rolled them on the desk, and they ended up in front of the figure.
"Good.... Very good. You will be sent back now, but be warned. You will remember nothing of your past life." It said, and clapped its white hooves.
"Not remember anything? Bu-" Dash blacked out before she could finish.
---
"I can't believe Rainbow Is dead. Just when we get her back, too." Applejack said sadly.
"I know. If only we knew who killed her..." Twilight sighed.
"You want to know who killed Dash? Well, I know that!" Vinyl spoke up.
"You do? Why didn't you tell us?" Twilight snapped.
"You didn't ask. Anyways, i'm pretty sure it was a light green mare with a blue mane and tail. She was working for Blueblood." Vinyl told the five gathered mares.
"How do you know? If you don't mind me asking..." Fluttershy asked.
"She was wearing a badge with his face on it."
"Ohhhh." Everypony said at the same time.
"Now, we go rip his head off." Vinyl stated.
"What? No! We need more evidence, and then we need to report him to Celestia, and then..."
"Twilight, you're a princess. You can do whatever the hay you want." Vinyl told the purple alicorn.
"No I can't! The nobles would be outraged. Everpony would hate me, and Celestia would probably send me to the moon-"
"Hey, me and Dash killed Blueblood, and nopony complained!"
"Well that universe is horrible, so that does not count." Twilight told the alabaster alicorn. "In fact, I don't know why we even listen to you, considering we turned one of the nobles into a cactus. Wait, what? How do I know about that?" Twilight had no idea what the hay was going on.
"Twilight... have you been stalking me...?" Vinyl asked.
"What? No! I would never even consider such a thing!" Twilight said in shock.
"Twi, I was joking. Everypony in town knows you're a witch, so you probably just used your creepy witch powers." The blue maned mare said.
"Witch? I'm not a witch." Twilight defended herself.
"It's obvious Celestia has been teaching you witchcraft, since you haven't learned anything else from her." Vinyl told the princess.
"I've learned plenty of things from Celestia! How could you even say that?" Truthfully, Twilight didn't really care about whatever Vinyl Scratch was going on about. She was more curious about how she knew what happened in the other universe.
Lyra Heartstrings sat outside of Sugarcube Corner, playing her lyre. It was a tune that she knew well, and had played many times before. Yet, she enjoyed the familiarity of it. She called it 'Setting Sun', as that is what it reminded her of. She played a few more notes, before Pinkie Pie slowly stumbled out of Sugarcube Corner. Her hair was completely flat, which was something Lyra had never seen before. Whenever she saw the the pink pony, she was always full of life and energy. But looking at her now was just... depressing.
"What has you so down, Pinkie Pie?" Lyra asked the mare.
"Oh, hi Lyra. Sorry if I bothered you, it's just that a good friend of mine just recently passed away." Pinkie said, tears forming in her eyes. Now Lyra was not expecting that.
"Gee, Pinkie. I'm so sorry. It must be awful for you. Care to talk about it?" The green mare asked.
"I guess, if you want to listen. Her name was Rainbow Dash, element of loyalty. Me and her used to always pull awesome pranks together, and hang out. She was a lot of fun to be around. But one day, her and Vinyl Scratch went missing. They came back a year later, but they were both alicorns like the princesses. I guess they were mad at Celestia, so they wanted to join the Lunar Republic. They both went to a night club to join, but after making a mean fat kid joke, poor Dashie was shot in the head. It was so awful..." Pinkie Pie explained, earning a hug from Lyra. Lyra hardly knew Rainbow Dash. They had talked a few times, but that was it.
"It's gonna be alright, Pinkie. It may be over for her, but i'm sure she would want you to live it up, and not stay like... this." Lyra said, gesturing the pink mess that was Pinkamina Diane Pie.
"You're right Lyra. Sorry for wasting your time." Pinkie told the mint green mare.
"Oh, it's no problem, Pinkie. Anything for a friend." Said Lyra, and the two mares parted ways. Lyra began to head to her and Bon Bon's small house, when she was suddenly knocked over by a white and blue blur.
"Hey Lyra, wanna come to the epic party i'm hosting for Rainbow Dash?" Vinyl Scratch asked.
"Wh-what? Vinyl, you know I don't do parties." Lyra told the alicorn mare.
"Oh, I see." Vinyl said.
"Yeah, sorry, I ju-"
"You don't have enough bits to pay for any cider! Don't worry, I'm using all of Dash's bits, so I got ya covered." Vinyl told the mint green mare, wrapping a hoof around Lyra.
"That's not what I meant at all! And why would you use your dead friends money? That's so disrespectful!" Lyra exclaimed.
"Disrespectful? What are you talking about? I'm throwing her an awesome party, so I don't think she'll mind if I use a few of her bits." Vinyl explained, causing Lyra to sigh.
"Look, I appreciate the offer, but i'm just not a party pony." Lyra said, pushing Vinyl's hoof away.
"I'll pay you!" Vinyl said quickly.
"What?" Lyra asked.
"I normally wouldn't do this, but Dash was a lot cooler than I gave her credit for. I just want her party to be the best it can be." Vinyl said, holding out a small pouch of bits, causing Lyra to sigh.
"Alright, fine, I'll come. But quit wasting Rainbow Dash's money." Lyra told the alabaster alicorn, causing her eyes to light up.
"Great! Just come on by Luna's night club at 8:00, and be ready to have the best night of your life!" Vinyl said, and ran off, nearly knocking over another pony.
---
At 8:00, Lyra walked into Luna's night club. The music was blaring while Vinyl got her DJ equipment set up. Suddenly, a wild Luna appeared!
"Greetings, Lyra. Vinyl Scratch told us that you would be attending. Tis going to be a fun night, as we celebrate the short life that Rainbow Dash had. We hath even brewed up our special moonshine for the occasion." Luna said, pulling out a bottle of foul smelling liquid.
"Er, sorry princess, I don't drink." Lyra stated, pushing the bottle away.
"Ah, tis a shame. perhaps you would like a nice glass of water instead?" Luna asked.
"That would be lovely, thank you." Lyra said, and Luna pulled a glass of water out of nowhere, and handed it to Lyra. The mint green mare took a sip, but immediately spit it out.
"Gah! This isn't water!" Lyra gasped.
"We are sorry, but thou walked right into that one. Now, we must go request a song for Vinyl Scratch to play before there is a lineup. Goodbye, Lyra." Luna said, and walked off. Suddenly, Vinyl popped up in front of Lyra, causing her to fall backwards. Well, speak of the devil and she shall appear.
"Hey Lyra, glad you could make it. Only two minutes in, and everypony's already having a good time. I'm getting closer to breaking Pinkie's record!" Vinyl said happily. "Let me introduce you to some friends of mine," She said, and pulled up two pegasi. One was orange with a fiery mane, and the other was a pale blue with a dark blue mane. "This is Spitfire, and This is Soarin."
"You got the Wonderbolts here?" Lyra gasped.
"Well, yea! I mean, Dash saved their lives. Why wouldn't they come?" Vinyl explained, and then pushed the two pegasi away.
"Oh, uh, I dunno. Maybe cause you pranked them in the other universe?" Lyra asked.
"How do you know about that? Oh no, they remember, don't they? They probably told awful lies about me! I'll probably never get a DJing gig again!" Vinyl exclaimed.
"Oh, no no no no no! They only told me as a... joke! Yea, a joke. They're all cool about it!" Lyra said quickly.
"Well, that's a relief! Aw, shit, Twilight's calling me. Probably gonna give me a lecture on how I should be wearing a disguise." She rolled her eyes. "Well, see ya around Lyra." Vinyl said, and walked off. Lyra breathed a silent sigh of relief, and began to make her way towards the door. She told Vinyl that she would come, but not stay. Three feet away from the door, and a song began to play. Not a nice, peaceful song that Lyra would usually listen to, no. This was the dreaded rock music. But Lyra didn't cover her ears. No, she kept listening. But that wasn't even the strangest thing. Lyra was actually liking this song!
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea Swimming through sick lullabies Choking on your alibis
But it's just the price I pay Destiny is calling me Open up my eager eyes ‘Cause I'm Mr. Brightside
What was happening to her? The ponies that Lyra usually played lyre with shunned this type of music. For Lyra to be enjoying it was like a crime! But Lyra kept listening, and even started dancing until the song was over. Vinyl must be rubbing off on me. Lyra assumed, and hastily walked out the door.
Lyra woke up early the next morning, suddenly motivated to finish a very special song she had been working on. This song was to be played at the Grand Galloping Gala next month, and she needed to make it perfect. She walked into the bathroom to begin her morning routine: Brush teeth, brush hair, annoy Bon Bon. Er, scratch that last part. Anyways, Lyra began to brush her teeth-like always- when she looked into the mirror. There, she saw two mint green wings stuck to her sides. A toothpaste/saliva mix began to ooze out of her mouth. Lyra spat into the sink and washed her mouth off, not quite sure on how she should react.
"Bon Bon!" She hesitantly called, eyeing her new appendages.
"I'm in the bathroom!" A sweet reply came from the second bathroom in the house.
"Bon, I would really appreciate it if you came in here!" Lyra called again.
"Please Lyra, i'm in the shower. Can't it wait?" Bon Bon yelled.
"No!" Lyra yelled back, starting to nervously brush her mane. She heard a door open, and a soaking wet Bon Bon walked into Lyra's bathroom.
"WHAT?" Bon snapped, wrapping a towel around herself.
"I think the tooth fairy finally paid me back for that one year..." Lyra told the cream colored earth pony, whose eyes widened in realization. That blue an pink maned mare soon fainted. Lyra sighed, and made sure her roommate was not dead.
"That could have gone better. Or worse. At least she didn't scream." Lyra said to herself. Suddenly, a sickening scream erupted from the unconscious mare. "How did she even do that?" But the mint green mare did not question it any further, and left Bon Bon on the floor of the bathroom.
Twilight Sparkle had just finished re shelving the library, when Lyra walked in, and she reeked of illusion magic.
"Uh. hi Twilight. I, uh, was wondering if you have any books on wings." Lyra stuttered.
"That depends, what kind of wings are you interested in?" The purple alicorn asked. Twilight didn't live at the library anymore, being a princess and all, but she still enjoyed working there whenever she could.
"Well, um, Pegasus wings. Yes, pegasus wings. They simply fascinate me." Lyra said with a nervous smile. Twilight wasn't buying it.
"That's interesting, because I remember you saying you were going to be working on your music all week." Twilight said, causing Lyra to gulp.
"Uh, yea, about that. I just haven't been inspired lately, that's all!" She said with a nervous chuckle.
"That, or, maybe you're a changeling!" Twilight snapped, and fired a quick anti changeling spell at the mint green mare. It caught Lyra by surprise, and was hit right in the chest, forcing her to drop her illusion. She was blown across the room, and hit a nearby bookshelf, causing the books to fall on her. There sat not a changeling, but an unconscious Lyra. But there was something different about the mare. Something Twilight couldn't quite place her hoof on. But then, realization smacked her in the face. Lyra had wings! That was why she wanted a book on wings, that was why she was using illusion magic and why she was acting so strange.
"Oh, Lyra! I'm so sorry!" Twilight gasped, and raced over to the mare, whose eyes slowly opened.
"It's okay, Twilight. I should have done a better job at hiding these things." Lyra said with a chuckle. Twilight helped her up, and got out a book on wings.
"Here you go Lyra. Pegasi and Their Wings by Glimmer A. Hoofington." Twilight said, handing the book to Lyra.
"Thanks, Twilight. I guess I'll just be off-
"Wait!" Twilight said, and cast a spell on Lyra. "It's okay if you don't want to tell me what happened, but you can't just go walking around without a disguise. This is the spell I use on Vinyl Scratch. It will hide your wings much better than the spell you were using," The alicorn told the other alicorn. Lyra thanked Twilight, and left the library.
"Lyra, that's the fifth time you've read that book. Take. A. Break." Bon Bon told the mint green alicorn.
"Sorry, Bon, but I want to get this right. I've got wings now. I don't know why, but I have them. So, I intend to use them," Lyra said, putting the book down.
"Why don't you go test them out now, and do trial and error," Bon suggested.
"That's a great idea! Thanks for your help, Bon!" Lyra said, and was off. When she was gone, Bon Bon breathed a sigh of relief.
"I thought she would never leave," Bon Bon said, and reluctantly picked up an ink jar, a quill, and a piece of paper.
[Information Denied], Lyra has acquired wings. This may prove your suspicion correct, but i'm not sure. She acts like she has no idea about why they are there, but she may be acting.If this does turn out to be true, please, don't hurt her. She's a good friend and roommate, and I couldn't bear to see her hurt.
Signed, Bon Bon
Lyra stood at the top of Ghastly Gorge. She figured that no one would disturb her here. She set her saddlebags on the ground, went over her notes one more time. She really hoped this worked, because she couldn't afford a fall like that. This made her wonder why she had chosen this location again. It seemed so familiar, yet she had never been there before. She cleared such thoughts from her mind, and spread her wings.
"I hope these work as well as my last ones." She said, and jumped.
Rainbow Dash found herself back in a familiar room, in front of a familiar hooded figure.
"W-whoa! How did I get here?" Dash asked.
"I brought you here. How did you figure out that you were you?" The figure said.
"Um, you gave me wings?" Dash offered, flexing the now cyan wings on her back.
"No I didn't!" The mysterious figure who has yet to be named said.
"Huh. Well, your dice must be broken." Rainbow told it.
"That's impossible! The dice can't just break!" It sounded a bit annoyed.
"Whatever." Rainbow said, and began playing with a slinky she pulled out of nowhere.
"Ugh. Stay here while I fix this!" Said the figure, and disappeared. But Rainbow, lacking the ability to do what she's told, wandered off. Spotting a small door behind the desk, she flew over to it. A sign read "Do not enter." But Dash ignored it, and went through the door. It opened up to a medium sized room, filled with portals. Rainbow immediately had one of those 'Oh shit!' moments, and started checking out the portals. They each had a picture of a different location in them. One had Canterlot, another had Appleoosa, and one even had Ponyville. Looking through the Ponyville portal, she could see ponies doing their daily things. After seeing this, she immediately said "Fuck off," to her better judgement, and jumped in.
She landed in the middle of Ponyville, freaking out a bunch of the towns ponies. Weather it was because she was an alicorn or because she just appeared out of nowhere, the world may never know. She giggled, changing her mane and hiding her horn under a heavy illusion spell.
Dash began walking through town, oblivious to all of the stares she was getting. She decided to go visit Princess Twilicorns house, because casually going to visit your friends house after you just died is the obvious thing to do. Rainbow was there in a few minutes, and happily knocked on the door. A lot of crashing noises came from the inside, but Twilight eventually opened the door.
"Oh, hi Rainbow Das- GAH! Rainbow Dash! What? How? AHK!" She exclaimed, and suddenly fainted.
When Twilight finally woke up, she opened her eyes to see herself laying on her couch, but also Rainbow Dash poking her with a stick.
"Oh, Rainbow Dash, I just had the strangest dream that you came back to life and knocked on my door, and... That wasn't a dream, was?" Twilight asked the cyan mare standing before her.
"Nope!" She said with a cheery voice, throwing the stick over her shoulder for it to crash through the window.
"B-but... How? I saw the video taped evidence of you being dead, so you being here right now isn't scientifically possible!" Twilight started getting that 'Lesson Zero' look, with the frizzy mane and twitchy eye.
"Well... When I 'died', Death was all like, 'Roll these magical dice to live again as another pony! Oh, by the way, you won't remember anything!' and I was all like, 'Sure!' and I became Lyra, which actually had some advantages because I can now play the lyre, but I didn't remember anything! And then for some reason I got wings, and they sparked my memory! So then I was back in Death Land where I then sneaked through a portal back to Ponyville." Rainbow Dash explained. Twi's eye twitched,
"Are you telling me that you cheated death??!!" Twilight snapped.
"Uh.... I'm gonna go with false." Dash said, rubbing the back of her neck nervously. Twilight groaned in frustration.
"Can you at least tell me what happened to the real Lyra?" The purple alicorn asked.
"She gets to experience the joy of wing boners?" The rainbow maned mare said with nervous sarcasm. Twi groaned again.
"Well, we better go find Vinyl. She'll want to know about this." Twilight said, and began to get up, but was stopped by Rainbow Dash.
"You're not gonna find her in this universe. She's far away in a forest full of feral cats, led away against her own will and forced to join their clan. You read about it in Luna's fanfic 'My Little Warriors.'" Dash told the confuzzled Twilight, holding up a book with a picture of a blue and white cat on the cover.
"W-what? Never mind! I'll just send a letter to Princess Celestia-"
"Why not Luna? Why do you never send letters to Luna? Without her, there would be no moon in the sky! Or is she just not good enough for the newly crowned princess of Equestria?" Dash asked, taking on an aggressive edge.
"Huh? No! It's just that Princess Celestia is my mentor, and it just seems right to send her the letters." Twilight explained.
"Alright...." Rainbow said, and went back into her happy mood.
"Okay, I'll just send that letter now..." Twilight said, and went into another room. She came back five minutes later followed by Spike, who looked half asleep. "Okay Rainbow Dash, now we just-"
"Woah! Is that Rainbow Dash? I thought she died!" Spike piped up. Twilight glanced at Dash, then back at Spike.
"You know what? You can keep napping if you want, I won't stop you." She said, and quickly ushered him into the other room. "Alright, as I was saying, we just need to wait for Celestia's reply. You okay Rainbow? You look kind of... ill." Twilight pointed out.
"Naw, i'm just really happy i'm not dead anymore!"
"That's goo-"
"In fact, i'm so happy I could burst into song!" Rainbow exclaimed.
"Oh no, we don't need any of that-"
"Let me show you how happy I really am!" Rainbow said. She was having one of 'those' days again.
"NO!"
"I am really special 'cause there's only one of me Look my smile, I'm so damn happy, the people are jealous of me When I'm sad and lonely, I like to sing this song It cheers me up and shows me that I won't be sad for long"
Rainbow began to sing, getting in Twilight's face. It was seriously creeping the princess out.
"Oh, oh, oh, I'm so happy, I can barely breathe Puppy dogs and sugar frogs, and kittens baby teeth Watch out all you mothers, I'm happy as hardcore Happy as a coupon for a 20 dollar whore"
"Rainbow! That's so innapropriate!" Twilight snapped, but her words fell on deaf ears.
"I'm really happy, I'm sugar-coated me Happy, good, anger, bad that's my philosophy"
"I can't do this, man, I'm not happy"
"Does this mean you'll sto-"
"I AM REALLY SPECIAL 'CAUSE THERE'S ONLY ONE OF ME! Look my smile, I'm so damn happy, the people are jealous of me These are my love handles and this is my spout But if you tip me over then mama said, "Knock you out"
"I am special, I am happy, I am gonna heave Welcome to my happy world, now get your shit and leave I am happy, I am good, I am...
I'm outta here!"
Dash snapped that last line, and walked out the door, slamming it behind her. A few seconds later, she opened it back up, and said,
"Screw you!" And then stepped back out, slamming the door again.
Rainbow Dash glanced at the slip of paper levitating before her. All she had time to scribble on it was a few notes as to what she was going say when she addressed the kingdom, so she would have to mostly wing it. Which is pretty much what always ends up happening because she has a really bad procrastinating problem and tends to delay things until the very last minute. Her therapist once told her she should make a schedule, but then she procrastinated that too, and it still hasn't gotten done. Anyway, a few seconds later one of Sun Butt -err- Celestia's royal guard came in and let her know it was time to address the public. Her anxiety attack got about ten times worse when he said that. Nevertheless, she strode out onto the balcony, attempting to hold her head up and look graceful, but she ended up tripping and stubbing her hoof. She cursed under her breath, but put up her best false smile. There was no cheering or fanfare like Celestia or Luna would have, just some random crickets chirping. Dash swore she heard a single boo. Nervously, she cleared her throat and began to speak. "Err...hi. Look, I know it's been a while, and that you're all probably really angry with me, but put down your torches and pitchforks for just one minute and hear me out. The truth is...I lost something. Something very important to me. No, not the EZ fix, or the Internet. Everyone, I have lost....My muse." Everyone just stared at her like she was an idiot, which she sort of was, but you're supposed to lie to people to make them feel good about themselves. "Now I know many of you may know what I'm talking about, or may not, in which case there is the door, and you may use it. But if you have, you know how taxing it can be. It is a long and hard recovery, which requires lots of love and support and... What was I talking about? Oh yea, anyways, I know it has been a long, hard year- wait, YEAR? Why didn't anybody tell me it had been so long? You know clocks scare me!" "Uh, clocks aren't scary. And a calendar could probably have been used." Somepony in the audience yelled. It was followed by murmurs of agreement. "Shut up! It's called Chronomentrophobia! Wait, that sparked my Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia! Ah, there it is again!" Rainbow began to freak out over her many phobias, while the audience just facehoofed. A lot. "I think she needs mental help." One OC mumbled. "She seems schizophrenic." Another replied. "The voices in my head are telling me you're all just jealous that I'm an Alicorn princess and you're not!" Dash snapped. "Why would we be jealous of you? Princess Alicorn Twilight is much better." Elsa, a light blue pegasus with a blonde braided main said with a role of her icy blue eyes. "That's it, I'm leaving. I'm off to join the club of triangles. I hope to unravel the secrets of their mysterious triangular ways!" Rainbow Dash proclaimed, and was off in a flash of rainbow light. "Well, that's five minutes ah'll never get back." Applejack sighed, and wandered off a cliff.
