Chapter 1

***PONYSTUCK***

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my humble domain. My name is Not Important, and I will be your narrator for what can arguably be called an evening. Please, take a seat, as long as it isn't that big one with the red cushion. That's for a friend of mine, who may or may not turn up later on." Here I pause, and wait for you to get into a comfortable position before continuing my introduction. Regrettably, it takes so very long to explain things through dialogue. There is much to tell you, and one of the few things I am unaware of is how much time I have left to tell it before the story takes matters into its own hands.

"Before I begin this story, however, I feel that it is only right to give you fair warning. This story takes place across many different universes, with far too much jumping around between them. As a result there are many uncertainties involved with claiming that anything is happening in the past or present, or even the future, relative to my position here. The upshot of all this is that, though it is a very small risk, there is the possibility of the narrative catching up with the narrator, should the subjects of our story find their way into my house." I pause again, but this time because my attention is drawn by some noises coming from an adjacent room to this. Please give me a moment - it could be one of my cats escaping its bag, and I don't know what I'd do if it got anywhere near the red herring tank. Fortunately, it turns out to be another matter entirely, so I promptly return.

"I apologise for the wait," I say as I enter the room again, through a door on the wall opposite the door I had left through. It is useful to keep in mind that my house does not obey the terrestrial laws of time and space, or even the laws of good taste. Or so I'm told. "Now, as I was going to say, I am this story's narrator, and I am able to act as a bridge of sorts. I can cross the divide between this fold of reality where I - and the characters of our story - physically exist, and the altogether different plane where you are reading these words. If you like, I am a window through which you may look into the fourth wall. As I have mentioned, there is a chance of the characters in this story finding their way into my home, but do not be alarmed. Should this happen, they will be unable to see you, and you will only be aware of them through my narration of where they are. But remember, this is highly unlikely in any case. I would expect us to be uninterrupted for the duration of this story, and besides-" my reassurances are cut short by a high pitched scream of excitement. Turning around slowly, I find myself staring directly into the eyes of a young mare. I am temporarily confused, but luckily I have some time to collect myself in the 10 seconds or so it takes her to rattle off her life story.

"Hi! My name's Pinkie Pie and I just got here and it's soooo cool! Even though everything's grey and I don't normally like grey that much because it's boring! So I thought I'd make everything more cheerful, so now you have balloons and streamers hanging all over your staircase - and is that OK? Because if it's not then just tell me and I'll move them off, because I know how some ponies don't like being happy and having fun, and I'm not saying you don't like fun, but I do like fun, and I really like it when other ponies like fun as well, so I thought I'd make everything more exciting for you!" Note that I have added punctuation to her rambling so as to make it easier to discern. In reality, this entire outburst is uttered in a single breath. Fortunately, at this point the astonishingly pink mare in front of me is forced to pause for breath, and I seize my chance to put an end to this nonsense.

"Hello, Pinkie Pie. I know that you're excited, but I'm trying to tell a story. If you wouldn't mind, could you perhaps continue your hyperactive rampage someplace else?" It is an act of extreme optimism to pose the question in the first place, but I am nothing if not optimistic. I do hope that she will agree - her very existence here is jeopardising vital dramatic tension, much to my eternal disdain.

"Ooh, a story? What story? What happens? Am I in it? Can I listen?" Though more controlled, the stream of questions still exits the pink pony at an incredible speed, and it takes even me a few moments to digest their meaning.

"As it happens, Pinkie, yes, you are in this story. And... I suppose that yes, you can stay and listen for a while. Just sit over there and try not to be too noticeable." I
decide against telling her why - if she does anything particularly noteworthy, it is my sworn duty to record it in this narration. For various reasons, I would like to tell you as little as possible about Pinkie Pie until it is the time for her to be introduced in this story. I'm sure you understand.

Satisfied with the compromise, Pinkie happily sits on a cushion tucked away into a corner, where hopefully you will be unable to see her. And now, I think, it is time for me to begin this story proper.

"This is a story about a journey across time, space, and some other strange dimensions that I don't have time to go into right now. It is a story of six... no, wait, eleven... no, it's... it's a story about quite a lot of ponies, let's put it that way. It is a story about those ponies, and the trials they face, the friendships they form, the pumpkins they ignore for no discernible reason. It is a story of betrayal, of hope, and all the cliché things that really good stories are made of. But for now, it is none of that. As far as we are concerned, this is a story about a young filly and her friends, and a game they play together..."

***ACT 1***

Enchanting is a slow and tedious process of inscribing, checking, re-checking, erasing, and inscribing all over again. Complex enchantments are so delicate that they require years of training to to be able to apply correctly, and take months of patient work in order to do so. But Twilight Sparkle didn't have months, and the rate at which she was inscribing the whirlwind of scrolls that surrounded her was worrying - to say the least.

Watching her with a mixture of fear and boredom were Twilight's best friends. The purple unicorn had briefly greeted them as they'd entered, but other than that, the past few minutes had passed without any further discussion. Eventually, Rainbow Dash turned to the only other unicorn in the room for an explanation, having given up on her attempts to figure out the meaning of Twilight's activities.

"OK, I've had enough of this. What's she doing?" she asked. Rarity's smile somehow became even more smug as she added a few ticks to an imaginary scoreboard.

"I'm afraid I only know a little more than you, Rainbow. Luckily, I know a thing or to about magic, so I've managed to get the rough idea." Rarity gestured a hoof to some of the scrolls that were circling their friend, on which Rainbow could make out what she presumed to be magic circles. She nodded for Rarity to continue.

"As far as I can tell, she's making enchantments. Which is to say, spells bound onto scrolls for later use. They're mainly used in order to cast several powerful spells at once with minimal effort, and because they allow non-unicorns to use magic." For a few moments, everypony subconsciously switched off as Rarity warmed to her topic. They were vaguely aware of her going into detail about the more complex uses of enchantments, and something about connections to hub spells. Eventually Rainbow's head cleared, as time resumed its normal speed and the words being spouted at her were drawn back into focus.

"... but of course, I have only the most preliminary understanding of the subject. Twilight could tell you all about the history of it, but I'm sure you don't need to know that. In any case, how much longer are you going to be working, Twilight?" Rarity called out to Twilight. Twilight held a hoof in the air in reply, as she hastily completed an intricate sun adorned with dozens of symbols. Satisfied, she returned the scroll she was using to the ring of paper orbiting her, and the unicorn finally turned her attention to the assembled ponies before her.

"Right, that's the last of them. Sorry about that everypony, I didn't think it would take me so long." As she spoke, the scrolls above her folded themselves and collected in a pile behind her. "Now, I'm sure you're all wondering why I called you here. Well, Princess Celestia has given us a very important mission to save all of Equestria!" Unfortunately, Twilight's confident smile only seemed to make her friends all the more alarmed at this news, but she continued regardless. "As you may or may not be aware, there are several meteors heading towards Ponyville." Judging by their reactions, they weren't aware. "According to Celestia, these meteors signify the start of a cosmic event that - unless we can stop it - will turn all of Equestria into rubble!" To be brutally honest, she reflected, her speech was not inspiring them as much as she had hoped. Deciding that trying to reassure her friends would do no good given what was about to follow, she continued on with her briefing - disheartening though it was.

"Anyway, please don't be scared when I tell you this, but..." Why had she said that? They were already scared, and now the fear of what she was about to say had just made things worse. Oh well, she thought to herself, let's just get this over with. "There are six meteors, with one aimed directly at each of our homes. One aimed here, one at Sweet Apple Acres, one at Sugarcube Corner, one at Fluttershy's cottage, one at Carousel Boutique, and one at Rainbow's... um... cloud temple thing." And now they knew that she was scared, too. She was rambling uselessly, which was a clear sign that she was nervous. As if she needed to tell them where they all lived. By now her friends were thoroughly unnerved about the whole situation, except for Rainbow Dash who just seemed a little annoyed at her home being called a 'cloud temple thing'.

"But don't worry! The point is, Celestia says that this means we six are the ones who are destined to embark on this mission to save Equestria. She told me that us agreeing to this mission to save our homes later becomes the cause of the meteors, or something like that. Which means that, even though it seems like we could just refuse and thus never make the meteors, we can't because... we already have made them, in the future. Is anyone getting this?" Rarity shook her head, so Twilight looked almost pleadingly to Fluttershy. She was quiet, but a lot of the time she was the only one in the group who really understood what was going on. But the pegasus simply gave a non-committal murmur, which could have meant anything. Applejack, however, was able to sift through all of Twilight's temporal shenanigans. As she began to speak, Twilight's hopes lifted. Maybe this would all work out, as long as at least two ponies were on the ball.

"So if Ah understand this right, we've gotten shoehorned inta this mess whether we like it or not?" Well, she might not like it, but at least she understood it. At this stage, Twilight was just happy to have someone up to speed.

"I suppose you could put it like that, yes. But whether or not we're destined to do this, I'm still going to ask. Is everypony prepared to save Equestria?" There we go, Twilight, that's what we need. A nice call to arms, that'll get them feeling confident.

"Hold on now, sugarcube, y'all haven't even told us how we're going to save Equestria," Applejack pointed out. "Maybe if we knew that there was a plan, and what it was, this might seem a little less overwhelming?"

"Oh. Right. The plan. Yeah." Twilight cleared her throat while mentally going over what the plan actually was. "A long time ago, when Celestia and Luna were much younger, a very skilled mage created an incredibly complex and powerful spell, and bound it to a power source long since forgotten. This spell is capable of creating bubble universes, and facilitating travel to those universes, presented as a game. Well, I say it's 'presented' as a game. It is a game, and was made as a game. But it's a dangerous game, with real treasure at the end, and very real dangers to stop you reaching the treasure. The spell that powers it is still active, tucked away in a realm outside any universe. To play this game for yourself, it is a simple matter of connecting to this realm and tapping into the spell." Seeing that her friends were growing tired of this exposition, Twilight decided to cut out the detailed description of the magic used to perform this feat. Instead, she levitated two scrolls from the pile to her side, one noticeably larger than the other.

"For this game, you need at least two players, and each player needs two scrolls - one of these smaller 'client' scrolls, and one of these larger 'server' scrolls. The basic principle is for the players to form a chain, with each player in the chain connecting their client to the next player's server. After they are connected, and the two players work together to complete something that Celestia called a 'sburban countdown', the client player will enter the bubble universe where the game takes place. Then the server player will connect their client to the next player in the chain, and so forth. Eventually the last player remaining in our universe will connect their client scroll the server scroll of the first player to enter, and the loop is completed with all players in the game world. Is everyone following so far?" Twilight was rewarded with gestures that vaguely resembled nods, so she continued her explanation as she gave each of her friends their two scrolls.

"According to Celestia, the meteors signify that it is now our turn to begin playing this game for ourselves. Our mission is to connect to each other's scrolls, enter the bubble universe, beat the game, and claim our reward." A slight pause followed, as Twilight chose her next words carefully. "This reward will grant us power beyond our wildest dreams, so I believe that this is how Celestia wants us to save Equestria." It could have just been the relief of finishing her explanation, but everypony seemed to be a little more confident about this now that they knew what was going on.

"Uh, Twilight?" Fluttershy paused to make sure she had Twilight's attention before asking her question. "There's still some scrolls left over there..." She aimed a hoof in the general direction of the scroll pile, where six more scrolls lay undisturbed.

"Oh, yes, I almost forgot! This is a little something I've been working on, just to practice some more advanced inscriptions. Celestia tells me that when we enter the game world, we won't see each other face to face for some time, and potentially not until we reach the very end of the game. So I made these to help us stay in touch." She added the scrolls to the two that everypony had already been given. "Once you activate them the spell will follow you around until I can dismiss it for you all later. It's voice activated - you just have to ask it to speak to one of us and it'll connect to their spell and display a screen. Then you just talk into the spell and the message will appear on their screen, and vice versa. I was going to just have the receiver's spell replicate the sound, but that proved a bit tricky, so we'll have to settle for the screen." Almost as an afterthought, she added "Oh, and something to note - when you activate the spell it'll ask you to enter a username, it's just something I had to add in because I couldn't work out how to magically identify ponies."

After everypony had collected their scrolls together, Twilight decided that it was time for them to return to their respective homes so that they could begin preparing for the game. She had rattled on for long enough. There was also the fact that in a few hours her home would be obliterated by a meteor if they didn't get started now. Once they were all back at their homes, everypony activated their communication spells and followed the instructions Twilight had given them.

[crespucularMagicant created a new memo FOREQUESTRIA]

[prismaticAscencion entered memo FOREQUESTRIA]

[crespucularMagicant entered memo FOREQUESTRIA]

Now that Twilight had created the memo, which functioned as a group conversation through which they could all communicate, she just had to wait until her friends joined. Assuming they weren't on here already.

CM: Is anypony on here yet?

CM: Anypony?

Apparently not.

[adamantineCorsair entered memo FOREQUESTRIA]

Judging by the signature on the client which had just connected, it was Rarity. After a few moments, Rarity spoke, and her message appeared on the screen beneath Twilight's.

AC: Hello?

AC: Is this working, Twilight?

CM: Yes, you're coming through clearly, Rarity. I'm just waiting for the others.

[obstinateCultivator entered memo FOREQUESTRIA]

Even without the signature, Twilight could have guessed that this was Applejack. She did wonder about 'obstinate', though, and it did cross her mind that the earth pony might not entirely understand its meaning.

CM: Applejack? Is that you?

OC: Yeah, Ah'm here Twi.

OC: Although Ah can't say Ah'm comfortable with using magic.

CM: Don't worry about it AJ, I've made the spell as unobtrusive as possible. It'll only be there when you need it.

OC: We'll see.

CM: By the way, do you actually know what... on second thoughts, never mind.

[reticentButterfly entered memo FOREQUESTRIA]

Twilight paused briefly as she tried to remember what 'reticent' meant. Deciding it wasn't worth the wait, she just checked the spell signature. It was Fluttershy.

CM: That's... Fluttershy? Is that you?

RB: Uh... yeah, that's me. Can you all see what I'm saying?

CM: Yes, Fluttershy.

RB: Oh... uh...

CM: Don't worry though, I'll close this memo down after we begin the game.

RB: OK...

[insanityPrelude entered memo FOREQUESTRIA]

AC: Let me guess.

Twilight had a pretty strong hunch about this one, and it seemed that Rarity agreed with her. Pinkie Pie.

IP: OH WOW HI GUYS! THIS IS SO AWESOME! I CAN SEE WHAT YOU JUST SAID! AND NOW YOU CAN SEE WHAT I'M SAYING! THIS IS GREAT!

CM: I'm glad to hear you like it Pinkie, but you really don't need to shout for this. Pretty much any noise will come through.

IP: Oops, I guess I overdid it. :D

CM: How did you... actually, I'd rather not know.

OC: Where's Dash got to?

CM: Hold on, let me check the logs.

Scrolling back through the conversation, Twilight was surprised to learn that somepony had joined the memo before her. Was Dash prismaticAscencion, then?

CM: Huh. Apparently she's been in here the whole time. Dash?

CM: Can you read this?

PA: Mr rmmrmp h mpr!

CM: Uh... what?

PA: M RRMP PH PRPRPM P HRP!

RB: What's happening?

CM: Well, the spell just picks up on whatever you say and transfers it to text, so either Dash is mumbling or the connection to her spell isn't great.

PA: MR'HR MPPM RHPRHMRH PHR HHM PR?

CM: Let me try connecting to her spell manually. This should only take a few moments.

PA: MRPRP HR MR PHRPMRHP!

OC: No need ta rush, Twi. Ah kind of prefer Rainbow when she can't say nothing.

PA: >:(

CM: Seriously, how are you guys doing that?

AC: Doing what?

CM: ... never mind.

CM: OK, that should be better now. Try it again, Dash.

PA: Testing, testing, 5, 23, 1.618. The awesome pegasus soars over the boring egghead.

OC: Heh.

CM: ... well, at least we've got it working for everyone.

CM: Now, I've sorted out a player order, where the first player is the first to enter the game.

CM: So unless there are any objections, the order is: me, then Fluttershy, then Rainbow Dash, then Applejack, then Pinkie Pie, and then Rarity. Is that OK for everyone?

RB: Does that mean that I'm... going to be your server player, Twilight?

CM: Yeah. Is that OK?

RB: Uh... that's fine.

CM: Well, better than nothing. Besides, I have a little bit of knowledge about how this "countdown" works, so I can help you to help me through it.

RB: Alright then.

CM: So, is everypony ready to save Equestria?

PA: Let's do this!

CM: Right, I'm going to close this memo down now, but we can still all talk to each other through one-to-one conversations. Just ask the spell to set it up.

[crespucularMagicant closed memo FOREQUESTRIA]

Taking a few moments to relax, Twilight reflected on how her friends had reacted to what she'd told them. And, she reminded herself, how they were going to react to what she hadn't told them. They would find out eventually, that was doubtless, but at least this way she was able to get them past the point of no return before telling them. Which was terrible, and she hated herself for thinking that way, but it was the only solution. They'd thank her in the end, she reminded herself. At least, she hoped they would. For now, she had to focus on what was important. And right now, what was important was not getting smashed in the face by a meteor. She needed to prepare, she needed to plan, and she needed Spike.

"SPIIIIKE!" she called, her voice echoing off the walls, around the room, and inside the poor dragon's eardrums. With a speed that only a thousand lectures on punctuality - and the threat of more - can produce, the purple baby dragon appeared by her side in a matter of seconds, his hand to his forehead in a military salute. "I need you to find me that book-" at those words, a list formed in Spike's mind. Names, authors, subject matter, location. "-on alchemy-" the list divided, leaving a handful of possible targets. "-I can't quite remember the name... it's a really old book-" the list remained unchanged. "-something about Cruxite, I think." A thousand green lights lit up in Spike's mind as the pile of books became one. Twenty seconds there, five seconds to find and retrieve, and twenty one seconds back (being a library assistant is tiring work). Triumphantly he held the tome up to Twilight, who was still trying to remember its name.

"Cruxite ore and you: 1002 ways to not die slowly and horribly." he recited with a hint of pride. Twilight often remarked how amazing Spike's ability to find books in her cluttered library was, but in truth it was second nature to someone who spends the majority of their days doing exactly that. And that was why he was her number one assistant. Absolutely irreplaceable. No one meant more to Twilight than him.

"Ah, thanks Spike. I don't know what I'd do without you..." Twilight stepped forwards and began to take hold of the book with her magic, before it was suddenly engulfed in green flames. When they cleared, all she could see was Spike holding his mouth shut with an embarrassed look on his face, and a distinct lack of book in front of her. Yes, he was her number one assistant... except for the odd occasion when he did something like that. "SPIKE!"

"I'm sorry! I don't know what happened! I just-" regrettably Spike had to cut his apology short, as once again magical fire shot out of his mouth. This time, however, the flames collected and formed into a small parcel of fire. This burst, and a small card dropped onto the ground between them. It was rectangular, save for the top right corner where some of the card had been cut away. The card was white, with a green border, and the word 'captchalogue' along the side - not that 'captchalogue' was even a word. More interesting than that, however, was the picture in the middle of the card, which seemed to be an exact image of 'Cruxite ore and you: 1002 ways to not die slowly and horribly'. Curious.

"What is this thing?" Twilight asked, levitating it before her so she could get a better look. Turning over the card to see the other side, she was greeted by a strange wavy design that contained a skewed string of letters and numbers. It was hard to read, but looked like 'LZ4R89C2'. Meaningless.

"I don't know! Nothing like this has ever happened to me before." Spike nervously racked his brain for why this might have happened. Twilight seemed to have been distracted by the card, but he wasn't entirely sure whether or not he was still in trouble. "Normally when I burn things with fire, they either get delivered to Celestia... or just burn up." A few moments passed while Twilight tried to explain what had happened.

"Hm. This is a long shot, but can you try breathing magical fire on the card again?" Twilight flew the card in front of him, but took care to position it where he wouldn't catch any more books in the flames. He did so, and the card was predictably swallowed by the fire. And then, just as Twilight had hoped, a few seconds later another burst of fire came and reformed her book. Expecting its arrival, Twilight caught it before it hit the ground, and inspected it. The book seemed unharmed. "OK, well... that was weird, to say the least. Spike, take a note." There was still a little time before she needed to begin playing the game, so maybe Celestia would know what was going on. "Dear Princess Celestia, I am pleased to tell you that my friends have agreed to the mission you have given us. We will be starting the game in a little while, but in the meantime I have something to ask you. Just now I attempted to pick up a book, but instead Spike used his magical fire to turn it into a small card with the book's image on it - apparently outside of his own control. I have two questions: what does the word 'captchalogue' mean, and what is its significance? Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. Right Spike, send it."

"Uh... sure." It didn't seem to make much sense to Spike to only ask about the word, as there were a hundred other questions that Twilight could have asked Celestia. At the same time, it didn't seem to make much sense trying to argue with Twilight, so he let it slide and got on with sending the letter to Celestia. While she waited for a reply, Twilight got on with reading her book.

***

CM: Right, I'm going to close this memo down now, but we can still all talk to each other through one-to-one conversations. Just ask the spell to set it up.

[crespucularMagicant closed memo FOREQUESTRIA]

After the conversation had ended, Fluttershy began the necessary preparations for a long journey. She travelled lightly, but her animals would need enough food to last them until she got back. If you get back, the voice in her head pointed out. It then occurred to her that she didn't actually know how long this mission was likely to last. She hadn't thought to ask. Then again, asking wouldn't be all that difficult. Settling down on a chair, she cleared her throat and spoke to nopony in particular.

"Uh... I'd like to talk to Applejack. Please." judging by the agitation in the air around her, the spell had heard. The faint blue mist which had been present during the previous conversation returned, but no screen formed. Apparently it had heard, but not understood. "Oh, right, uh... I'd like to talk to..." a brief moment of panic followed as Fluttershy tried to remember the name Applejack had used. "o... obstinateCultivator?" she wasn't entirely comfortable with calling Applejack that, and wondered if her friend completely understood its meaning. Regardless, the spell understood this time, and a screen soon appeared.

[reticentButterfly began talking with obstinateCultivator]

Well, that was a start.

RB: Uh... Applejack?

Inwardly, Fluttershy kicked herself for being so afraid. She somehow seemed even more nervous than usual when her nerves were up on screen for everypony to see. Fortunately she was spared from these thoughts by Applejack's reply.

OC: Hey Fluttershy.

OC: Do ya need something?

RB: Oh, yeah... uh, I was just thinking about my animals, and how I'm going to have to leave food for them to last until I get back, and...

RB: Well, did you know when it is that we'll be getting back?

OC: Uh, 'shy?

OC: Haven't ya forgotten something?

RB: What?

OC: Well...

OC: Y'know.

OC: The meteors.

RB: O_O

In that instant, Fluttershy lost focus of everything, as her house simply blurred into darkness. Suddenly the truth of the meteors, and what they meant, hit her like a brick wall - or like it would feel to be hit by a brick wall, if brick walls were capable of hitting anything, which they're not. It wasn't that she had forgotten them, just that she hadn't realised quite what they meant before now. It was all she could do to stop herself from passing out, and somehow she managed to take in the messages that Applejack was sending.

OC: Fluttershy?

OC: Are ya there?

OC: Please don't do anything Ah wouldn't do, OK?

OC: Actually, given the circumstances, it's probably best if ya don't do anything at all for a while.

OC: Fluttershy?

RB: ... I'm OK... I think...

OC: Ah'm sorry, sugarcube.

RB: I... don't think I want to play this game any more...

OC: If we don't, Equestria is as good as gone.

OC: It might not seem fair, but we don't have a choice.

RB: Well, maybe you can all still play it, but I think I'd rather just gather my animals and leave.

OC: Hold on there, ya can't just go off and leave us here.

OC: Think about Twilight. You're meant to be her server player. Otherwise she's not getting into the game, and the meteor will hit regardless of whether she's gotten into the game safely or not.

RB: Well, I don't see why Rainbow Dash can't be her server player instead of mine, so that there's just a loop of five players.

RB: I'd just get in the way anyway.

OC: But the six of us are destined to play this game together. As far as time's concerned, we already have played it. Or something like that, Twilight can probably explain it better.

OC: Well, she can understand it better, but she's not the best at explaining.

OC: Please, Fluttershy. On behalf of all of us, Ah'm asking ya.

OC: Please play this game with us.

OC: It wouldn't be right to leave ya behind.

RB: Uh...

Whether it was Applejack's words, Fluttershy's inner strength, or the machinations of an author who's had enough of writing speeches of encouragement, at that moment Fluttershy's resolve was clear.

RB: OK. I'll do it.

OC: Glad to hear that.

OC: Now y'all had better get talking to Twilight, so we can all get this game started.

RB: I'm on it! Oh, and Applejack?

OC: Yeah?

RB: Thanks.

[reticentButterfly stopped talking with obstinateCultivator]

As the blue mist dissipated again, a slight noise drew Fluttershy's attention downwards, where Angel had crept up to her and was now nestled between her front legs. While she watched, the tiny bunny lifted his head sleepily towards her, his eyes half closed. Normally he employed this tactic to either procure carrots or to make Fluttershy feel better, but this time it simply filled her with grief at the thought of the rock rapidly approaching her home. She got him a carrot anyway, and happily watched him devouring it for a few moments. Sadly, this moment was soon ruined by a familiar blue mist reforming into a screen before her.

[crespucularMagicant began talking with reticentButterfly]

CM: OK Fluttershy, I think I'm good to go on my end.

CM: Are you ready?

RB: Uh...

She glanced over at Angel. He had fallen asleep again, his head resting on a half eaten carrot.

RB: Let's do this.

Chapter 2

View Online

"PS: Don't forget to prototype your kernelsprite at least once before entering." As he completed his recital of Celestia's reply to Twilight, Spike rolled up the scroll and went to add it to the steadily growing pile of Celestia's correspondence. Some of the messages in the pile were months old, but Twilight insisted on keeping them. And, as Spike wearily recalled, for every scroll in this mountain of parchment there was at least one more that he had sent to Celestia in reply. While his fire was technically infinite, it still took a lot out of him to keep it going.

Returning to the room where he had left Twilight, he found her in conversation with one of the other girls. He couldn't see the screen to find out who, but in any case it probably wasn't the best idea to try and spy on Twilight's conversations. Leaving her to it, the dragon instead occupied himself with trying to replicate the incident that had taken place earlier - when he had stored a book inside a small white card instead of turning it into ash.

[crespucularMagicant began talking with reticentButterfly]

CM: OK Fluttershy, I think I'm good to go on my end.

CM: Are you ready?

RB: Uh...

Twilight was vaguely aware of some noise coming from the other room, but she dismissed it after a moment's thought. Spike was probably just getting some supplies together for the journey ahead. Which was a good idea. But those noises were awfully loud. Just as she was about to decide to investigate, however, Fluttershy replied.

RB: Let's do this.

CM: Great!

CM: So, activate your server scroll when you're ready, and it will connect to the first active client without a server that it finds.

CM: At the moment, that's only mine, so go ahead and turn it on when you're ready.

RB: Right, here I go.

While she waited, Twilight positioned herself closer to her client scroll. It was currently on her desk waiting for a server to connect to it, the large circle of runes inscribed on it pulsating faintly. As she watched, and more and more time passed without any result, a small piece of her mind began asking if she was sure that this was going to work. She had been in an awful rush, and it wasn't out of the question that she had misplaced a rune here and there. After all, her magical endeavours were not without the occasional mishap. Twilight could remember all too well the time she had found herself battling her way through a horde of toothless alligators to deactivate the cloning spell.

These thoughts were soon dispelled as Fluttershy activated her server scroll. Both scrolls lit up, and were surrounded by a whirlwind of arcane power. Above each scroll appeared a small white bar, and above that an intricate green spirograph that hovered in mid air. While the ponies watched, their spirographs began to move, rotating and warping, returning to their original form at intervals. This hypnotic motion continued for some time, while the white bar began to fill with light blue, until the bar was full - after which the spirograph faded away. Fluttershy was presented with a large blank screen that hovered in front of her, taking up most of her small living room, whereas nothing had been left in the library. Both ponies simply stood in their respective homes, wearing looks of confusion and amazement at what had just happened. Eventually, Fluttershy recovered enough to resume their conversation.

RB: What was that?

CM: I think that was the enchantments connecting to the main spell.

CM: The spell, by its nature, is self sustaining, so it will still be active.

CM: It just won't strictly exist in a physical sense.

RB: So... uh... how do we use it?

CM: Well, I don't need to use the client spell at all.

CM: You should have a blank screen, right?

RB: Yeah.

CM: You should be able to open the server interface just by asking it to.

RB: Uh... ok...

CM: I'll leave you to figure that out for a moment, if that's OK. I just have to go and check up on Spike.

RB: Sure.

[crespucularMagicant stopped talking with reticentButterfly]

Now that the connection between her and Fluttershy was set up, Twilight decided that now would be a good time to make sure Spike was ready to begin the game. Unfortunately, after taking in the sight that greeted her when she entered the room he was in, making sure he was alright was the last thing on Twilight's mind. In fact it was the exact opposite of what was currently on her mind, as she glared magical daggers at the small dragon standing amid a pile of charred books.

"Spike." Twilight's voice was the voice that she reserved for times when she got really angry. It was a voice that said 'unless you have a good explanation for this, you are going to find out exactly what my last slave died of'. Spike laughed nervously, temporarily forgetting that laughing nervously was the best way of making Twilight even angrier when she was like this. "Would you mind telling me what's going on?" The words were delivered in a slow, steady tone, although a faint quiver in her voice could be heard that betrayed the rage she was holding back. This was ridiculously terrifying, and Spike was tempted to make a break for the window. Instead, he simply swallowed his fear, which was a bad idea because it then proceeded to stab him repeatedly from inside his stomach.

"I... I know what this looks like, Twilight, really, but..." taking a brief pause, Spike mentally kicked himself for how stupid what he was about to say was. "I was trying to... um..." another pause, this time to gather his breath as he prepared to deliver his explanation as quickly as possible. With any luck, Twilight wouldn't pick up on the particularly bad parts of what he was going to confess to. It was a tactic he employed frequently, and that never worked. Not that it hurt to try, right?

"I was trying to make a book into one of those cards like I did before because of how Celestia said that I'd need to do it a lot in the future and so I thought that I should practice and then the first book I tried I just ended up burning so I thought that maybe it was only some books so I tried a thicker one and then that got burned and then I decided to see if it was only important books so I tried to do it to that big almanac but it was outdated anyway so it's not that bad and please stop looking at me like that and anyway that didn't work so then I figured that after I'd burnt so many books there was no going back so I carried on and then it still didn't work and now you're here and oh man I'm really really really really really really really Twilight please don't kill me!"

This was rattled off at a speed that would have made Pinkie Pie jealous, but Twilight's anger gave her enough focus to pick out the words. Once she realised what Spike was saying, however, she almost laughed at how stupid he was being. She almost cried at how pointless the destruction was. In the end, she just let out a loud cry that was somewhere in between hilarity and despair, which simply confused Spike even further.

"Oh, Spike..." her tone was half endearing, and half lecturing. In any case it was an improvement over earlier, so Spike allowed himself to relax slightly. "Sometimes you can be a complete idiot!" Walking over to him, she bent down towards one of the books. As she did so, completely beyond his control, Spike let out another burst of fire, which devoured the already charred book. The book disappeared completely, but a few moments later a second burst of fire formed a small white card bearing the image of a burned book, which Twilight levitated before her triumphantly. "Like Celestia said, Spike, you're apparently my 'fetch modus' now, thanks to this game. Which means I need you to turn objects into these small cards, and back again. But if I'm not around, it's just you doing your own thing, so you're just breathing normal fire." She gestured towards the main room where she had been talking to Fluttershy. "Now come on. We've got a lot of work to do."

Visibly relieved, Spike ran on past her and into the main room. Suddenly, he yelped in surprise as he was nearly skewered by a quill shooting towards him. Hitting the floor just in time, he glanced back to see Twilight casually writing some notes with the quill while chuckling quietly.

"That was for the almanac." she said as she walked past him, pausing briefly to captchalogue the paper she had written on with yet more magical fire from Spike. She was going to do the same thing with the quill, but somehow it sensed her intention and became a card by itself. This card was different somehow - though it had a similar layout to the other cards, instead of 'captchalogue' there was text along the top reading 'Strife Specibus'. Rather than a picture of the specific quill she had been holding, there was a silhouette of a generic quill shape. And beneath that was the word 'quillkind'. Interesting.

The card would have to wait, however, as Twilight decided that before asking Princess Celestia about this latest development, it would be a better use of her time to investigate the large machine that had suddenly appeared in the middle of her house.

***

CM: You should be able to open the server interface just by asking it to.

RB: Uh... ok...

CM: I'll leave you to figure that out for a moment, if that's OK. I just have to go and check up on Spike.

RB: Sure.

[crespucularMagicant stopped talking with reticentButterfly]

"Could you... uh, open the server interface? Please?" In the quiet of her cottage, the words resounded in Fluttershy's head pitifully, as apparently only she had heard them. For a few moments, nothing continued to happen, and the blank screen was unresponsive. A few more moments of confused silence, before the screen lit up with a brilliant light. This quickly fell away, to a display from some unseen viewpoint - apparently high up - in Ponyville library. Fluttershy knew it was Ponyville library, because in the room she could see Twilight and Spike. Twilight seemed angry about something, but Fluttershy couldn't hear any sound even though Twilight was clearly talking.

Before she could talk to Twilight about this, there was a loud pinging noise and a white box appeared on top of the image of the library.

Hint 1 of 10: Welcome to Sburb! If you're reading this then you must have connected to your client player. Congratulations! These messages will help you through the first section of the game, and teach you the various functions of the game interface. All operations performed with the interface are voice activated.

Below this message was a small box containing the word 'next'.

"Next."

Hint 2 of 10: Now, let's get started. You will notice that along the top of your screen, above where your client player is running around, there are several options, which are voice activated. From left to right, they are: Select, Revise, Deploy, Phernalia Registry, Grist Cache, Explore Atheneum, and Alchemy Excursus. With the Select, Revise, and Deploy tools you can change your client's physical environment. Feel free to experiment with this feature, but be aware that changing their home will come at the cost of Build Grist. You can obtain more of this later in the game, but for now try to not use any if you can help it. To view the amounts of different grist types that you have gathered at any time, simply open the Grist Cache.

".... next." This was a lot for Fluttershy to take in at once, especially since she didn't understand some of the words - not that 'grist' was even a word.

Hint 3 of 10: Now, let's get started. The first thing to do is to deploy the machines necessary for alchemy: a process that allows you to create any item imaginable! The machines you need are in your Phernalia Registry, which will gain additional - but expensive - machines over time. For now, you can only access the bare minimum, which luckily is all you need! Open your Phernalia Registry, and then Deploy the Cruxtruder, Totem Lathe and Alchemiter somewhere in your client's home. Take care not to obstruct any paths or exits!

This time, the box below the message read 'close'. Presumably the game had decided that she'd been given enough information for now.

"Close." The box disappeared, and Fluttershy was able to view Twilight again. Deciding that the best thing to do would be to follow the advice the game had given her, she navigated away from Twilight and into the large central room that her front door led into. Now to test what she had learned. "Open... uh..." what was it called again? She spent a few moments trying to remember, while on the screen a quill flung itself at Spike. Then it came to her.

"Open Phernalia Registry!" At her command, the icon at the top of the screen activated, and images of several strange machines appeared. Reading the labels, Fluttershy realised that these were the machines the message had told her to deploy. "Deploy... deploy the cruxtruder." A faint outline of the machine appeared on the display of the library, allowing Fluttershy to select exactly where to place it. What was it that the message had said about exits? In front of exits? Just in case, she instructed the game to move the outline so that it was right in front of the door, and confirmed the action. There was a loud ding, and a real machine - a tall cylinder rising out of a large square base, appeared in the library. Interesting.

The technical and philosophical implications of having such a high level of control over Twilight's environment would have to wait, however, as the smaller screen of the communication spell formed before her.

[crespucularMagicant began talking with reticentButterfly]

CM: I couldn't help but notice that there is now a giant machine blocking my front door.

CM: Was that you?

RB: Oh, yes.

CM: I take it that you've got the server working?

RB: Yes, and now it's coming up with some messages that are explaining what to do.

RB: Just now it told me that I need to put some machines down in your home.

RB: So I thought I should follow its advice...

RB: Right?

CM: Hm.

CM: I suppose we should, at least until I can get a better idea of what we're meant to be doing here.

CM: I only know a little about how this 'countdown' thing works, I'm afraid.

CM: As I understand it, the aim is to create a special item out of 'cruxite', using a kind of alchemy to do so.

CM: Beyond that, I have no idea what the actual mechanics of this alchemy are, or how we get Cruxite, or even what the item is.

CM: So advice from the game could be useful.

RB: Then, should I continue creating these machines?

CM: Yeah, but...

CM: Could you try and avoid putting them in front of important things?

CM: Like, for instance, my front door.

CM: Because now I'm basically trapped in here.

Oh. Maybe the message had said to avoid exits, not to place them next to exits. Never mind though, it was an easy mistake to make under pressure. Probably.

RB: :S

CM: ... but yes, you should put the rest of the machines down.

RB: OK.

Taking care to avoid any important areas of the library, Fluttershy quickly placed the alchemiter (a round platform with a piece of complex machinery attached to it) and the totem lathe (a narrow machine decorated with an assortment of wheels and buttons). There were some other items, as the game had mentioned, but they weren't deployable. Also in the registry was a small card covered in holes, but it hadn't been mentioned yet so Fluttershy decided it would be best to leave it alone for now. Having deployed all of the machines, the game's message box opened up again.

Hint 4 of 10: You have now given your client access to machines that will be incredibly useful in the future. They will be used for alchemy, a process which allow you to create many items over the course of the game. However, this is only possible using punched captchalogue cards. At the moment, you do not have any way to punch captchalogue cards, so until then you will only be able to make two items - a Perfectly Generic Object, and the item made with the Pre-Punched card that you can find in your Phernalia Registry. Before making this pre-punched item, we will practice alchemy by making a Perfectly Generic Object.

RB: It, uh... it says that these machines are for alchemy.

CM: Ah, so the alchemy we'll be using is performed with these machines?

RB: I think so.

CM: Hm...

RB: But apparently we need 'punched captchalogue cards' to do it, and it says that we can't make those yet.

CM: Captchalogue cards?

CM: Oh! Right, before I forget, I should tell you this since it almost certainly applies to you as well.

CM: As a result of this game, we now have access to a storage system called a sylladex. Basically, by picking something up with the intent of storing it for later, you can store it in a captchalogue card.

CM: Which you can then retrieve using your fetch modus.

RB: Uh... what's that?

CM: I don't know what it will be for you, it's different for all of us. Spike's magic fire acts as mine, but apparently that's something of a special case since I need him to turn objects into cards as well as taking them out.

CM: But I don't know what it means by punched card.

RB: It doesn't really explain it...

RB: It just says that we will be able to make punched cards later on, but for now we can only make two items.

RB: And now it wants us to practice by making a Perfectly Generic Object.

CM: Interesting.

CM: Well, let's continue to follow its advice. That seems like the only logical course of action.

Hint 5 of 10: First of all you will need to activate your Cruxtruder. This machine has three key properties, which will become apparent when you activate it. To activate your Cruxtruder, you have to open the lid in some way, such as by dropping something heavy onto it.

"Close." Once the message box had disappeared, Fluttershy inspected the cruxtruder on the screen. The lid that the message had mentioned was at the tip of the cylinder, above a wheel that was attached to the side. So presumably she simply had to find something heavy and put it on top of the cruxtruder. She quickly scanned the room Twilight was in, settling on the largest book she could find in the shelves surrounding her friend. Using the Select tool to pick it up, she dragged it over to the cruxtruder and let go. Apparently this worked; as the book connected, the cruxtruder flashed purple, and the entire screen filled with light. Eventually it faded away, and Fluttershy noticed several things. Firstly, she had succeeded in separating the lid from the cruxtruder. Secondly, there was now a countdown being displayed on the machine that was currently at 8:01. And, interestingly, there was also a large pulsating purple sphere hovering above Twilight's head.

RB: What... what is that?

CM: I have no idea, but...

RB: ?

CM: I think it's talking to me.

In Ponyville library, a purple ball of light was floating in front of Twilight, emitting a series of strange beeps, pings, and other noises that were a lot harder to convey with onomatopoeia. It was, as far as she could tell, entirely meaningless.

Turning her attention away from the strange light and its ridiculous noises, Twilight inspected the machine in front of her more closely. The book that Fluttershy had dropped on it had clearly done something; the cylinder was now open at the top, near the wheel which Twilight's attention was now drawn to. Since there were no instructions - at least, not on her end - she decided that the best way to find out what it did would be to give it a try. Magically spinning the wheel, a small cylinder of a strange purple material was spat out of the machine. Interesting.

Investigating this strange cylinder would have to wait, however, as Fluttershy returned with the latest game message.

RB: Uh, Twilight, I don't want to worry you, but...

RB: You should probably know about this.

CM: What is it?

RB: Uh...

RB: Can you see the countdown on the cruxtruder?

CM: The what?

Looking back over the machine, Twilight now saw what she had missed earlier - a small screen displaying some numbers. The style of the numbers was reminiscent of that fancy magic clock in Manehattan, the one that displayed the time in 24 hours. It was a nice idea, she supposed, but it didn't have the same charm as the traditional mechanical clocks. Realising that she was somehow rambling without even speaking, Twilight forced herself to concentrate on the matter at hand.

CM: Yeah, I can see it.

RB: Well, uh...

RB: It's counting down to... well...

CM: Yes?

RB: Apparently it's... that is...

RB: It's counting down to the exact moment when... um...

RB: When the meteor will hit.

CM: Oh. I guess that's why it's called a 'sburban countdown'.

CM: Or at least, that's why it's called a 'countdown'.

CM: I have no idea what 'sburban' is all about.

RB: Oh, I think that this game is called 'Sburb'.

RB: It mentioned it a while ago.

CM: I see. That makes sense, I guess.

CM: Wait a second, we've only got a little over 7 minutes!

RB: Uh... yeah, I suppose we do.

CM: Well, what do we do next!?

RB: It said to take a cruxite dowel from the cruxtruder...

RB: But I think you've done that.

CM: Yeah.

CM: Oh, so this is cruxite?

Using her magic to pick up the small cylinder she had produced from the cruxtruder, Twilight held it up and turned it round. It was perfectly smooth, without any scratches or dust on it. The way it caught the light as it turned gave it a strange, almost unrealistic quality, as if it was made from a material that didn't strictly exist unless you were paying attention to it. Producing a captchalogue card from somewhere, Twilight glanced at the book pictured within. 'Cruxite ore and you: 1002 ways to not die slowly and horribly'. Celestia had mentioned it when she had been talking to Twilight about the game, apparently hinting that it would be important. It looked like Celestia had been right, at least - this game did involve cruxite in some way. Not that the book had been much help. After a few pages of information about cruxite and some of its properties, the list devolved into simply repeating the sentence 'never never ever forget to prototype the kernelsprite' over and over again. Which annoyed Twilight. Not only was it a cheap way of coming up with 1002 pieces of advice, but as far as she could tell cruxite had nothing to do with a kernelsprite - whatever a kernelsprite was. Kernelsprite wasn't even a word.

RB: That's what it says...

CM: So this is what Celestia was talking about.

CM: OK, this is all starting to fit together, so...

CM: What do I do with the cruxite now?

RB: Uh...

RB: It says that normally you would need to use the totem lathe...

RB: But we're making Perfectly Generic Objects, so apparently we don't have to.

CM: Right, OK.

Hint 7 of 10: After cutting the Cruxite dowel into a totem - or not, as in this case - the client player must take the totem to the Alchemiter. Beside the large platform is a small pedestal for placing totems onto. Doing so will activate the machine, and it will scan the totem. Then either you or your client player will be able to set the amount of items you wish to produce, and then confirm the action to create the items. For this exercise, try to make 3 Perfectly Generic Objects, which will consume 6 units of build grist. Don't worry though, as you can restore this grist by recycling the objects later on if you need to do so.

RB: OK, so now you have to... uh...

RB: You have to take the cruxite up to the alchemiter.

CM: I assume that's another machine of some kind?

RB: Yes.

CM: Where did you put it?

RB: Oh, on your balcony.

RB: Is... is that OK?

CM: Yeah, that's fine. I'll head up there now.

Temporarily dismissing the screen while she moved, Twilight headed up the stairs of the library towards the balcony, not without first noticing that she had just under 7 minutes before either succeeding or being incinerated. That was still plenty of time, of course. As she climbed, she remembered the 'strife specibus' card that her quill had turned into. Retrieving it, she noticed that beneath the basic quill shape that filled the main white space, there was a smaller image of a captchalogue card containing her quill. So, her strife specibus - whatever that actually meant - stored captchalogue cards containing quills? That would be the natural assumption to make, given the word 'quillkind' written on it. She had a theory that would need testing, but in the meantime it seemed a good idea to focus on the alchemiter now that she had arrived on the balcony.

Approaching the large, squat platform, she noted the smaller circle which was presumably where to place the cruxite. Next to this was a strange piece of machinery which seemed to be a long tube that had been folded several times. At the end of this tube was a device that she couldn't even begin to define, so instead Twilight simply placed the cruxite cylinder onto the pedestal to see what happened.

What happened was that the tube twisted at the points where it was bent, until the device at the end was aimed at the cruxite. This device then emitted a beam of light, which it dragged along the height of the purple cylinder. Then, apparently having completed whatever task it was performing, the device folded away once again.

After this had happened, a small box with the number 1 in it appeared on Fluttershy's screen, along with an up arrow and a down arrow. Next to this box was a picture of a small blue diamond like shape, and the number -2 in red characters. Which was interesting, because she had a feeling that she had seen that blue diamond before, somewhere... glancing around, she caught sight of another box in the bottom left corner of the screen that she had all but forgotten about. It also showed a blue diamond, next to a bar of blue that was labelled: 'Build Grist 20/20'. So, she presumed, the blue diamond (which, it is worth pointing out, wasn't really a diamond - more of a hexagonal prism, in case you cared) was what 'build grist' looked like. So a 1 in the box meant she would lose 2 build grist... which led to the conclusion that the box with the number 1 in was the mechanism through which she could change how many items would be made.

"Uh... 3?" After the small delay that the game always seemed to take before it processed what she had said, the number in the box dutifully changed to 3. "Confirm." She noticed a change in the box in the bottom left; some of the blue in the bar had disappeared, and the label now read 'Build Grist 14/20'. More interestingly, three large green cubes had now appeared on the surface of the alchemiter. They appeared to be completely boring and uninteresting. Or, Fluttershy corrected herself, they appeared to be Perfectly Generic.

CM: Wow, what do these do?

RB: Well, they're the Perfectly Generic Objects we were making.

CM: Oh.

CM: So I guess the answer to my question is...

CM: Nothing.

RB: I guess...

CM: Right, I remember you mentioning that we were only making these things to practice alchemy.

RB: Oh, yeah.

CM: OK, so... is there anything that we can do which will get me closer to not dying quickly and violently?

RB: I'll check.

RB: Oh, by the way...

RB: Did you notice that the...

RB: Uh...

RB: The whatever it is, seems to be following you?

After reading Fluttershy's message, Twilight turned looked up, and saw the strange ball of light that had emerged from the cruxtruder. It did seem to be following her, as looking into it gave her the distinct impression that it was looking back. Unfortunately, it was apparently oblivious to the fact that Twilight couldn't understand its strange and irritating noises, and continued to bleep and vwoop urgently. She decided to ignore it for now.

Trying to phase out the strange noises, Twilight turned her eyes skyward. It was beginning to get dark, so she should be able to see the OH GOD THAT'S HUGE. Suddenly remembering that the meteor was roughly 5 minutes away, the unicorn could do nothing but stare up in awe at the rapidly approaching fireball. How had she been so calm about this? There was a meteor flying towards her! She was going to die! What in Celestia's name was she thinking? What was - her panicked thoughts were silenced by the dinging noise which accompanied a new message whenever she wasn't viewing the screen of the communication spell. Fluttershy was back.

RB: OK, I think I know what to do...

CM: What? Hurry!

RB: Uh...

RB: Remember when you said that we needed to make a item?

RB: Made of cruxite?

CM: Yeah...

RB: I think that we're making that now.

CM: OK...

RB: You need to go to the totem lathe downstairs...

RB: And you have to take the cruxite, and this pre-punched card.

A captchalogue card appeared, seemingly from nowhere. Although the holes it was covered in made it hard to make out, it seemed to contain the picture of a purple tube of some description. Twilight assumed that the holes would make it impossible to retrieve, and the lack of involuntary fire breath from Spike when she attempted to retrieve it confirmed this theory. She was, however, able to captchalogue the captchalogue card, which made her head hurt a little. Regardless, she captchalogued the Cruxite as well and took the cards back into her house. After a brief pause to catch his breath, Spike - and the ball of light - followed.

Ignoring the fact that she now had 4 minutes and 47 seconds left to complete whatever it was she was actually doing, Twilight entered the room where Fluttershy had placed the Totem Lathe. On it were several wheels, buttons, and other nonsense, which on any other day Twilight would have loved to reverse engineer. Right now though, she literally didn't have the time.

CM: What am I doing with this thing?

RB: Uh... do you see that there's...

RB: Hm.

RB: There's sort of a clamp thing?

CM: Uh... yeah, OK, I think I see what you mean.

CM: So do I just have to put the cruxite into there?

RB: Yeah.

RB: And then you have to put the card I gave you into the machine.

CM: Where?

RB: Uh...

RB: One moment.

CM: Hurry!

RB: It says that there should be a slot in the side that the card will fit into.

Inspecting the device closer, Twilight found the slot in question, which indeed appeared to be just the right size to slot a captchalogue card into. Retrieving the pre-punched card, she inserted it. As the card entered the machine, sounds of whirring and clanging came from within. After a few moments, a series of unbelievably sharp blades extended from a part of the machine directly above where the cruxite was clamped into place. The aim, clearly, was to cut the totem in some way.

RB: Right, now you just have to turn it on and it will cut the cruxite into a totem.

Twilight did so, and watched as the blades were lowered onto the cruxite. Almost as soon as they had done so, they raised up again, but not before taking a considerable chunk out of the cruxite. What was once a perfect cylinder was now a strange, wavy pattern. It was still perfect though, as Twilight noted while retrieving it from the clamp - the carving had left it just as smooth and scratch-less as it had been before. Not waiting to hear Fluttershy's next instructions, she captchalogued the carved totem and headed upstairs towards the alchemiter. She ignored the fact that she had just over 4 minutes left.

RB: Where are you going?

CM: To the alchemiter, so that I can use this totem.

CM: Presumably with the result of creating the item that was on the pre-punched card, correct?

RB: I don't know, it hasn't said anything yet...

RB: Oh, here we go.

RB: ... oh, yes, it does say that.

CM: Great.

CM: I think I'm starting to get the hang of this.

Rushing up to the pedestal, she took out the totem's captchalogue card and attempted to retrieve the totem. Nothing happened, except for the faint sound of a distant explosion, but Twilight was far too busy with not being killed by a meteor to pay attention to silly things like that. Confused by the lack of fire, she shot a look behind her to where Spike was only just completing the journey up the stairs. He looked exhausted. Nearby, the ball of light offered a few sympathetic pings for the tired dragon.

"Spike! We're running out of time!"

"I know, but I'm tired! I've been running around all day, plus you've had me making way more fire than I normally do." On any other day, Twilight would have taken offence at his attitude. But it was true, he had been making a lot of fire today - not all of which was appreciated, her mind added angrily - and it was getting late.

"OK, I'm sorry, and I promise you can rest after we get this done, but we're so close to the end!" She paused.

CM: We're getting close to the end of this, right?

RB: Uh... I think so.

RB: There are 10 hints, I think.

RB: And we're at number 9.

CM: Right.

"We're so close to the end!" she resumed. "And, at the same time, we're also really close to dying, so we really do need to get this done now." She held out the card to him, and he begrudgingly breathed yet another burst of fire onto it. "Thanks, Spike."

Turning her attention back to the pressing matter of the meteor which was stupidly close to her house, Twilight placed the totem onto the alchemiter's pedestal and pressed the button that allowed her to make the items herself. A few seconds passed, while the device once again scanned the beam of light across the totem, before a large purple writing desk appeared with a sheet of paper on it. As she watched, the paper rolled up into a scroll, and the writing desk beneath it disappeared with a flash of light. Taking a look at the obscured image on the pre-punched card, Twilight realised that the tube must have been this purple scroll. Which was all well and good, except she had no idea what to do with this.

CM: OK, Fluttershy, what do I do with this?

There was a pause, so Twilight waited, as calmly as it is possible to wait when there's a meteor 3 minutes and 48 seconds from your house.

And waited.

If Twilight was being completely honest, this was getting a little unnerving.

CM: Fluttershy? Are you there?

Of course, there wasn't any need to panic. Fluttershy was probably just reading the next game message. It was probably really long and complicated, so it was taking a while. It had to be long and complicated, Twilight reasoned, because it was explaining the method through which this scroll would somehow transport Twilight to the bubble universe where the game world was located. It was only natural that it would take a while... Twilight just wished it wasn't taking quite this long.

CM: Fluttershy?

"Alright, calm down Twilight, there's nothing to be afraid of. Fluttershy isn't going to leave you hanging." If anything, hearing the fear in her own voice just made things worse. "If she's been distracted by something, it must be something important. But don't worry, she'll get back to you. Of course she'll get back to you."

CM: Please, just say something!

CM: ... Fluttershy?

Looking out across Ponyville from her library, Twilight tried to see Fluttershy's cottage. She couldn't, of course, because it was on the other side of town. The closest she could see to the cottage was the edge of the Everfree Forest creeping around the side of Ponyville. Unfortunately that was enough to see what had grabbed Fluttershy's attention.

The whole forest was on fire.

Chapter 3

View Online

If you were to observe the skies above Ponyville on this fateful night, you would be able to clearly see several large rocks hurtling towards the town. You would note that they seemed to follow a pattern of increasing in size the further away they were - the nearest, the one heading for Ponyville library, was also the smallest of the six rocks. And, of course, the most distant meteor was also the largest by a terrifying ratio. Even across the vast distances involved, it still loomed menacingly over the land below. When it eventually hit Equestria, it would be a miracle if anything was left. And, indeed, that was the intended outcome.

Aside from these large meteors, the night sky also featured more immediate - if a little less deadly - concerns. Showers of tiny fragments of rock were also raining down, having broken off of the main meteors. One such shower could, if you were observing carefully, be seen falling into the Everfree forest, not a great distance from Fluttershy's cottage. Regrettably, Fluttershy was not observing the night sky above Ponyville, as she was far too busy not getting Twilight killed by a meteor to pay attention to silly things like that.

The pegasus was guiding her friend through the use of a communication spell, while observing her activities on a larger, immobile screen that displayed a view of Twilight's antics. This screen was currently displaying Twilight levitating a captchalogue card in front of Spike, while nearby a ball of light seemed to be incredibly excited about something or other.

CM: We're getting close to the end of this, right?

RB: Uh... I think so.

RB: There are 10 hints, I think.

RB: And we're at number 9.

CM: Right.

Whatever trail of thought Twilight had been pursuing with that question, it seemed to work, as the screen showed Spike reluctantly turning the card back into a cruxite totem. Fluttershy continued to watch as Twilight placed the totem onto the alchemiter's pedestal, and then -

A light from outside her cottage briefly drew Fluttershy's attention away from the screen, and then managed to hold her attention when she saw what it was. The forest was on fire. Dismissing the communication spell, Fluttershy rushed outside to greet the flames that had engulfed the nearby trees. For a few moments, she could do nothing but stand awestruck by the sight of it, before realising that the fire was almost at her house. While normally her instincts would have taken her in the opposite direction, in this case her animals were in danger. She had to do something. Except, she pointed out to herself, she had no idea where to start tackling a fire of this size, and there was no way she could move all of her animals out of the way in time.

The flames drew nearer.

***

In Ponyville library, the librarian was feeling ridiculously nervous. This was for many reasons, not least because she was going to die unless a certain pony saved her. A certain pony who was currently dealing with a forest fire, leaving Twilight stuck in her library with a ball of light that did nothing but make near constant dinging noises.

CM: Please, just say something!

CM: ... Fluttershy?

Whatever the situation currently was, Twilight decided, Fluttershy was clearly distracted by the fire. Which meant she was in danger, which meant she needed help.

[crespucularMagicant began talking with prismaticAscencion]

CM: Rainbow!

PA: Oh, hey Rarity.

CM: Uh... what?

PA: Oh wait, this is Twilight, isn't it?

CM: Yes!

PA: Sorry. I got the names that you two use mixed up.

CM: OK, well, never mind!

CM: The point is, you have to help Fluttershy!

CM: The forest is on fire!

PA: Yeah, I know.

CM: Oh.

PA: I'm just heading out there with the rest of the weather team, actually.

CM: Oh, well, that's fine then.

CM: Nothing to worry about!

PA: Are you OK Twilight? You seem a little worked up about something.

CM: Do I? It's probably your imagination.

CM: That, or the meteor that's going to smash into my face in 3:30.

PA: Eep.

PA: Well, don't worry, I'll go help Fluttershy and then she can help you, right?

CM: OK, sure.

[crespucularMagicant stopped talking with prismaticAscencion]

And that was that. Fluttershy's fate was out of her hands now. Turning her attention back to her surroundings, Twilight noted that Spike was now asleep, clearly tired enough that he was using the hard edge of the alchemiter for a pillow. It would probably be best to leave him be for now, since she didn't expect to need any more fire tonight. Which gave her some time (although she hoped it wouldn't be too long) to investigate the strange vworping ball of light that had been following her throughout this ridiculous countdown.

It struck her as odd that none of the hints Fluttershy had received had mentioned it – not as far as she'd said, anyway. It was clearly part of the game, as it had come from the cruxtruder, so it was presumably something important. Interesting.

Before she could investigate the mysterious light and its irritating sproings further, however, absolutely nothing happened, so she began to investigate the mysterious light and its irritating sproings further.

***

Approaching the Everfree forest from the air, Rainbow Dash could see the full extent of the fire - a wall of flames along the very edge of the forest, near Fluttershy's cottage, was where most of the fire was growing. Other pegasi had already appeared, and where busying themselves with forming a perimeter around the edge of the forest. Maybe this wouldn't take too long, she thought, even though she knew that there was going to be a lot more work for them when the meteor hit Twilight's library.

While the other pegasi began to fight back the flames, Rainbow Dash decided to check up on Fluttershy. After all, Twilight needed her help as soon as possible. As she approached Fluttershy's cottage, she could see her friend rushing around her garden after the various animals that she kept. Typical Fluttershy. In spite of, or maybe because of, the approaching fire, the animals were being decidedly uncooperative. Chickens and rabbits were dodging and jumping around her, except for Angel who seemed to be the only one there who was paying any attention to the fire. He was smart, as Rainbow had come to realise over time. Perhaps he was a little too smart. Sure, he was cute and everything, but he always seemed to get what he wanted. Who knew what was going on behind those tiny little eyes of his? Realising that this trail of thought (as had happened before, with Gummy) was about to dissolve into a wide range of crazy theories in which Angel was secretly plotting the demise of everypony in Ponyville, she brought her concentration back to the matter at hand and swooped down to greet Fluttershy.

"Hey Fluttershy. Are you OK?" Rainbow's sudden appearance in front of the shy pegasus almost caused her to drop the chicken she had finally managed to grab hold of, but she managed to nod and give the usual rant about just how happy she was to see Rainbow. "I notice you're having a bit of trouble with the animals?"

"Oh, no, not at all. They're just, um... a little excited." As if to confirm this statement, the chickens which were still running loose began squawking loudly. "Although, I do wish that they weren't quite this excited... it's a little tricky keeping track of all of them."

"Can't you do the thing where you turn stuff into cards?" Since leaving the library and retreating to her, as Twilight had put it, 'cloud temple thing', Rainbow had found that she could somehow store objects in small cards and then retrieve them later on. It was strange, and she had no explanation for how it worked beyond 'it just does', so she guessed it was something to do with Twilight's game. Which meant that Fluttershy should be able to do it to. She relayed all of this to her friend, but Fluttershy just shrugged.

"I don't know about that... or at least, I haven't done anything like that yet." Carefully setting the chicken down onto the floor, Fluttershy then attempted to pick it up in the way Rainbow had told her to - 'pick it up, but don't actually pick it up'. Which was very helpful, but even so she was a little dubious about this. "Are you really sure that this is going to OHMYGOSH!" The sudden outburst of excitement had been caused by the entirely expected transformation of the chicken into a small white card with a red border and a picture of a chicken on the front. "I did it!"

Encouraged by this achievement, Fluttershy quickly began rounding up the rest of her animals, and after a highly amusing thirty seconds had accumulated a small pile of cards filled with different animals. Her task done, she paused.

"Uh... so, what now? Do I just carry all of these around with me?"

"I... guess so?" Now that Rainbow thought about it, it didn't really make any sense at all. "It's hard to explain. When I'm not really using the cards, or thinking about them, they just... they just aren't there. It's like they don't really exist unless I need them. But if I think about where they go, then I guess I was carrying them around with me. But... I wasn't. Does that make any sense?" The blank face in front of her answered that. "OK, so I suck at explaining stuff. Twilight could probably describe it better, but..." The mention of the unicorn's name caused something to click in the back of Rainbow's mind. Wasn't there something about Twilight that she had to tell Fluttershy? Between forest fires and potentially homicidal bunnies, it was hard to keep track of every little thing.

"Twilight? Oh, I almost forgot! She still needs my help, or she won't be able to get away from the meteor!" Ah, Rainbow thought to herself, that was it. As the two pegasi turned to look in the general direction of Ponyville library, they were both temporarily frozen by the sudden realisation of just how stupid the distance between the library and the meteor really was. "Uh... do you happen to know how long she has left?"

"Well, she spoke to me before I left for here, and said she had 3:30. And we must have spent a couple of minutes here, so..." Rainbow had never been tremendously accurate at estimating times, or distances, largely because of how often she had blurred such details about her various athletic achievements. "I'd say she must have about... a minute?" Seeing the shock begin to form on Fluttershy's face, Rainbow said her prediction again to herself. "Wait... a minute?!? Oh horse apples!"

Any comment on Fluttershy's inability to hurry up was cut short, as the pegasus quickly shot inside to get back to Twilight. Seeing that the fire was still being dealt with, Rainbow once again took to the air to help the others. It was up to Fluttershy to save Twilight now - and regardless of whether she made it or not, there was still going to be a much larger fire to deal with when the meteor hit.

***

Twilight was beginning to find the occasional 'whoo' that echoed through the library a bit ominous, if she was being honest. She was still rather distraught about the whole affair that had taken place over the last few minutes, but on the plus side at least she had now most definitely prototyped her kernelsprite. Assuming that 'prototype' meant 'combine with owl'. Owlowiscious had been keen enough to help out, of course, and he hadn't been killed or anything, but she still felt a little guilty. Judging by the number of warnings that the universe had attempted to give her on the severity of not prototyping, though, she had managed to avert some kind of terrible disaster. Which was good. Imagine if she had tried to enter the game world with an un-prototyped kernelsprite - well, it didn't bear thinking about. Presumably. She had no idea what would have actually happened, but it was probably for the best that she hadn't found out. Regardless, what was done was done, and the kernelsprite had since vanished from her sight - although its haunting calls reminded her of its existence.

Since losing track of her kernelsprite, Twilight had occupied herself with moving Spike into his bed, some light reading, and desperately trying to think of anything other than the meteor - or the rapidly diminishing countdown. Unfortunately, she wasn't very good at not thinking about meteors, or ominous clocks, and it was all she could do to stop herself leaping from her balcony and galloping all the way back to Canterlot. Princess Celestia has given me this vital mission, she reminded herself, so she must have faith. Fluttershy will pull through, I just have to believe in her. It didn't help that she had moved herself and the purple scroll downstairs, to the room containing the cruxtruder and its terrifying countdown. The display currently read 1:02. That was it, there was no way she'd have time to get away if she did try to run for it. Was there even time to do whatever it was she had to do?

[reticentButterfly began talking with crespucularMagicant]

RB: I'm here! I'm here! I'm sorry I was gone for so long, but I'm here!

The sudden rush of relief and excitement that marked the arrival of Fluttershy's message caught Twilight off balance, and she temporarily forgot how to speak. 0:48.

CM: Fluttershy!

CM: Thank Celestia, I was worried something had happened!

RB: Well, it did, but it's OK now.

CM: You can tell me all about it.

CM: But preferably not until after we get me to safety, yeah?

RB: Yeah...

CM: So, I made the purple scroll thing, what now?

RB: Uh... one moment, the hint just popped up.

CM: OK, I can wait.

CM: Well, actually, I can't, but I suppose I don't have much choice.

RB: By the way, what did you do to that ball of light? I can't see it anywhere...

CM: That's what I was investigating while you were gone.

CM: Based on all the evidence, I believe that the ball of light was my kernelsprite.

RB: I... see... I think?

CM: You don't. But don't worry about it, even I'm not sure what kernelsprite means - not that 'kernelsprite' is even a word.

CM: All you need to know is that I have managed to avert what could potentially have been a complete disaster.

CM: And I almost lost my owl in the process, but he's fine now.

CM: ANYWAY.

CM: The hint?

In Fluttershy's cottage, the screen displaying Twilight was once again obscured by a large white box containing a message explaining the workings of the game. 0:31.

Hint 10 of 10: Now you are finally ready to enter the game world! There is just one last point to cover. In addition to your captchalogue cards, you should also be in possession of a 'strife specibus'. This is set to a certain 'kind abstrata', or a certain type of weapon (e.g. swordkind, or hammerkind) that defines the type of object that you are capable of using as a weapon. All items of that sort which you captchalogue will be assigned to this strife specibus, and stored in the strife deck. This allows you to access any of your weaponry quickly and easily. Just in case you haven't already set your kind abstrata, you may wish to do so now. Now, to enter the game world, you must 'use', or 'damage' your cruxite artifact in some way. For instance, you might smash a bottle artifact, or bite an apple artifact. The precise manner in which it must be used will vary, and is a sort of puzzle for you, but you may find that your strife specibus will be useful in some way. Good luck, and enjoy the rest of Sburb!

RB: OK, do you have a strife specibus?

CM: Uh... oh, yeah, I do.

CM: It says 'quillkind', I think.

RB: Well, I think that means you can now use quills as weapons...

RB: It says that whatever 'kind abstrata' it's set to, that's what your weapons are.

RB: And any quills you captchalogue will be stored in the strife specibus.

CM: OK, good to know.

CM: Do you know what would be even better to know?

CM: How to get to safety in 20 second or less.

RB: Ack, sorry!

RB: Uh, it says that you have to use your item in some way.

RB: It's different for every item, and it's meant to be a kind of puzzle.

RB: But doing something with the item will take you to the game world.

CM: Right. OK.

CM: I can do this.

[crespucularMagicant stopped talking with reticentButterfly]

So she had a scroll. And she needed to use it in some way? Did that mean she had to send it, with more of Spike's fire? Or something else? If there was any lesson to take away from this, Twilight thought, it was that she was incapable of using her brain under pressure. Think, Twilight, think. You can do this, you can - argh! 10 SECONDS! At that point, rather than the sudden last minute burst of inspiration she had been hoping for, instead everything went blank. She had no idea what she was doing! She was going to die, and it was all -

[fractalAbomination began pestering crespucularMagicant]

FA: stab the scroll with your quill

CM: Whuh?

FA: quill

FA: scroll

FA: make it happen

CM: Uh...

FA: ttyl

[fractalAbomination ceased pestering crespucularMagicant]

The first thing that occurred to Twilight was that none of her friends were using that name. The second thing that occurred to her was that it was odd how the conversation had started 'began pestering' instead of 'began talking with'. It then occurred to her that, to be honest, she was out of options and so she may as well follow the stranger's advice. And, just as she retrieved her quill from her strife specibus, it occurred to her that the countdown on the cruxtruder currently read 0:01. After that, everything went white, and things stopped occurring to her.

***END ACT 1 ACT 1***

Now that I have briefly paused the narrative, I will allow you a few moments to come to terms with the sudden deceleration in the pacing of this story. It is only natural that this should require a short period of adjustment, especially when the transition is marked by nothing more than a sudden separation from the structure you may have expected. Act 1 Act 2 will begin shortly, but before then I feel it only fitting to have a short pause.

"I would apologise for leaving you hanging at such a critical moment in the story, but it is, of course, all part of the fun. Regardless, I suspect that the questions to which you are seeking answers will not be resolved for quite some time after I resume my narration, so we can afford to wait here for a short while longer." As is quickly becoming habit, again I pause, this time because I notice that Pinkie Pie has gotten up and left the room at some point during my narration. I'm not sure which part of that I find more worrying - that Pinkie Pie is rampaging through my home waving streamers and confetti about with reckless abandon, or the fact that she managed to leave without a near-omniscient being such as myself knowing about it. I would edge towards the streamers and confetti, however. It's hard enough to clear up even when your house isn't a spatial anomaly.

"Well, I think that's enough of a break for now. The antics of a certain fuchsia coloured equine notwithstanding, I shall now continue with my narration of events. If you will allow me, there are a few things which must be told before the story can progress further." For the nth time, where n is some stupid number that's probably a science fiction reference, I pause and clear my throat. "Fluttershy watched in horror as..."

***

Fluttershy watched in horror as the screen before her faded away into white. That wasn't quite right, however - it wasn't that the image was fading away, but that the light intensified until it obscured the view of Twilight and the library. This light rapidly diminished, however, as the screen soon came to show a solid black screen - as it had done before she had connected to Twilight. There was no sign of the unicorn, or any indication of what had happened to her.

[reticentButterfly began talking with crespucularMagicant]

RB: Twilight?

RB: Are you there?

The lack of response was alarming, to say the least. Desperately trying not to panic, Fluttershy tried to remember the few seconds before the screen had gone white. Had she gotten through? Or...

Trying to force the thought from her mind, Fluttershy once again tried to be calm and rational. Twilight could have gotten through, but maybe she was still travelling to the game world. That was possible. But what if it wasn't?

[reticentButterfly began talking with obstinateCultivator]

RB: Applejack? Can... we talk?

OC: Sure. What's this about?

RB: Well, Twilight's meteor hit Ponyville just now.

OC: Oh, so that's what that was? Ah thought Ah heard something.

RB: Yeah.

OC: Come to think of it, Ah should be able to see it from here.

OC: :O

OC: Heavens to Betsy! That thing must have been huge!

RB: I know...

OC: Is Twilight OK?

RB: I don't know... the screen's just gone blank.

RB: And I'm just not sure what to do...

OC: Oh. Ah see.

OC: Well, Ah'm sure she'll be fine.

RB: But... uh...

RB: What if she isn't?

RB: It'll all be my fault.

OC: Fluttershy, don't go jumping to conclusions.

OC: Twilight'll be just fine.

RB: But, if I hadn't wasted time...

RB: Maybe I should just stop playing this game.

OC: What? But you've got to play now!

RB: Why?

OC: Well...

OC: There's a meteor heading for your house too, ya know.

RB: But I can move all of my animals with me, so...

OC: OK, look, Ah suppose Ah can't stop ya if ya really want to leave.

OC: But Ah'm asking ya to stay.

OC: At least until we know what happened to Twilight, OK?

RB: ...

RB: Alright then.

[reticentButterfly stopped talking with obstinateCultivator]

And so Fluttershy sat down, staring at the blank screen, waiting for any sign of activity. Outside, a few pegasi had been left behind to watch over the remnants of the fire, but most had headed off in the direction of the large crater that had been formed where the library had once stood. The worst thing about sitting and waiting was that it gave her mind time to think; time to completely and utterly convince herself that Twilight was gone and that it was her fault. The fire had been contained easily enough, she reasoned. There wasn't really any need to round up all the animals, so she could have just stayed inside and helped Twilight. But she hadn't, and now Twilight might be...

Unable to finish the thought, Fluttershy stood up and went to get Angel another carrot. He was the only one of her animals who wasn't currently stored safely inside a small white card, so whether he liked it or not he was now the centre of her attention. Returning to the screen, she sat down and offered him the carrot.

***

[prismaticAscencion began talking with obstinateCultivator]

PA: Hey AJ.

OC: Dash, what's going on with the library?

PA: Well, it's...

PA: It's not here.

OC: What?

PA: Crater, check.

PA: Fire, check.

PA: But no library to be seen.

PA: I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

OC: Ah just hope Twi's OK.

PA: Yeah. How's Fluttershy doing?

OC: She thinks that Twi's dead, and that it's her fault.

PA: :/

OC: So Ah told her that we don't know for sure what's happened to Twilight.

OC: And to just sit tight until then.

PA: So does that mean she's still going to be playing?

OC: Maybe.

PA: Well, here's the thing. I've got to help the weather team with these fires.

PA: It's only going to get worse as more meteors hit, and we need to keep things under control so that everypony can get to safety.

PA: Since for some reason nopony thought to give them a heads up about the imminent destruction of Ponyville.

OC: Makes sense.

OC: But what's your point?

PA: My point is that I'm not going to be able to be Fluttershy's server player.

PA: So, if you don't mind, I think we should switch around in the order.

OC: Hm. Ah guess we don't have any other choice, so OK.

PA: Great!

PA: Anyway, talk to you later.

[prismaticAscencion stopped talking with obstinateCultivator]

As the communication spell disappeared to wherever it was that it went when she wasn't using it, Applejack looked out across Ponyville. From her vantage point by the farm, she could see the fires that marked the place where until recently there had been a library, and a team of pegasi approaching it. And the same thing would soon happen to her farm, she reminded herself. Glancing upwards, she could already faintly see the meteor approaching her - at this distance it was little more than a dot of light, but she knew that it was growing over time.

"What's going on down there?" It was hard to be surprised by Big Mac, but even so his sudden question caused her a moment's shock. Walking up to her, he gestured out towards the fire. "Ain't that the library?"

"It was." Briefly mulling over just how much she should tell him, Applejack decided that he had a right to know as much as she did. "Listen Mac, Ah'm not going to lie to ya. Some time soon, a meteor is going to smash into our farm and we can't stop it. Ah have to stay here as part of some mission from Celestia, so don't try to stop me, but Ah want ya to take Apple Bloom and Granny to safety. Can ya do that for me?" Considering the nature of this news, Big Mac handled it with admirable calm.

"Eeyup." And that was that. Maybe he trusted Applejack enough that if she was determined to stay, then he believed that she could handle herself. Maybe he was too tired to bother arguing. Maybe this was actually his plan, which he had somehow imprinted in her subconscious through a highly convoluted sequence of psychological triggers, though she doubted that. Regardless, Big Mac had agreed, and now began walking back the way he had come. "Ah'll get em to someplace safe, don't worry about that." Well, that was one less thing to take care of. "Ya just worry about yourself."

***

In a distant corner of paradox space, a Queen sat in her halls of darkness, awaiting the signal from her King that the balance had slipped and that Prospit was making its move. The first Hero was expected to arrive soon, and once she arrived the war could begin in earnest. Absently inspecting the ring she was wearing, she pondered what new form the Hero would bring with them. She knew that it would be an owl (which was apparently some kind of wingbeast, according to her advisers), as had been foretold, but was curious about what this would mean for her.

Her thoughts were interrupted, as someone who had managed to approach unnoticed cleared his throat. Looking up, the queen of darkness was mildly surprised to find a grey pony standing before her. What in the name of all things convoluted and nonsensical was a pony doing in her throne room? And, she added as the pony began speaking, why can it talk?

"I come in peace, your majesty. I would simply like to make a deal. You have something I want - specifically, control of the army of Darkness. And I..." He retrieved a small ring from his sylladex, and levitated it in the air for her to see. On top of everything else, the revelation that the pony was a magic pony went relatively unnoticed. What didn't go unnoticed was the ring which, like hers, was a simple gold band surrounded by small white spheres. The pony smiled as the queen eyed the ring hungrily. "I believe I have something that you want."

Chapter 4

View Online

***ACT 1 ACT 2***

In a quiet, unassuming pocket of paradox space, a king once again found himself running from the enemy amid a vast open blue sky. Pausing for a moments reflection, he considered his options - even though they were the same as they had been for the hundreds of previous turns. There was no use going back the way he had run from - he would just be heading straight into the path of his adversary. There was only one sensible option - forwards. This was a matter of life and death, he mused as he waited for his opponent to continue the pursuit, but as long as he continued onwards in this manner there was no real threat. Both kings were constrained to the same speed, and on the battlefield where they fought there would always be a safe path open to them. He supposed he should be grateful - after all, an uneasy ceasefire such as this was always preferable to open warfare. It wouldn't last, of course - soon this petty race to nowhere would end, and the battle could begin. It was a battle that his armies would inevitably lose, but he had to believe. In himself, in the heroes, and in the might of Skaia.

Then it was his move, and the king was presented with the same decision that he had faced countless times before. He now had two choices, as he could skip the corner ahead of him. But what was the point, when the pattern would continue regardless? He simply took a step forward, and then waited patiently for the opposing king to do the same. Round and round, over and over. This process continued for a long time, somewhere in between a few hours and eternity, as the black and white kings chased each other ceaselesly around a grid of nine squares. The battle remained unwinnable, and the great sphere of energy in which this pointless campaign was being waged remained dormant.

This was the scene which appeared before Twilight Sparkle, apparently coming from one of the many clouds which surrounded the tall tower that she had awoken to find herself in. She recalled using her quill to stab through the purple cruxite scroll, but beyond that she had no memories other than waking up in a strange bedroom that seemed oddly familiar. It was, as far as she could tell, at the top of a large tower of gold. Out of the windows all she could see were white clouds against the blue sky, which strangely detailed visions seemed to emanate from. One of which, as mentioned, currently displayed a small 3x3 chess board, on which the two kings ceaselessly followed each other around the outside of the grid. An unbreakable stalemate. This was made more interesting by the background, apparently part of the same sky as the one she was looking out into. So, somewhere in this enormous blue expanse, a small chess board was hovering in mid air. Which was interesting.

As many had done previously, however, this cloud now dissipated, and Twilight turned her attention to the other clouds surrounding her tower. As far as she could tell, they displayed real events that had happened, were happening, or would happen at one point or other. She had caught a brief glimpse of various memories - the time Applejack had gone to work in Dodge, the time when she and her friends had defeated Discord, and the time when Fluttershy had decided to nurse an injured storm atronach back to health in her cottage. More interesting to Twilight were the clouds which seemed to predict the future. She could see Applejack amidst a thick purple fog fighting off a group of strange creatures, which looked a little like reptilian cats. In another cloud, Rarity and Rainbow Dash were exploring some kind of ruined temple. And in another cloud, Twilight saw herself in a unfamiliar grey room filled with machines and lights. Almost as if the Twilight in the image knew that she was being watched, she turned and looked directly out of the cloud and waved happily to where Twilight was watching from her tower. Then that cloud faded away, like all the rest had.

At this point, Twilight slowly became aware that her tower seemed to be rotating, as the relative position between her and the clouds was gradually changing. The clouds drifted up and away from her, until the tower left the sky entirely, and Twilight realised that what she had previously been calling up was - depending on how you looked at it - down. At least, it was down relative to the centre of the blue sphere which her tower had briefly entered as part of its slow rotation. As she could now see, the blue sky belonged to a large blue planet filled with white clouds, around which her tower seemed to orbit. Presumably, this orbit brought the tower within the atmosphere of the large blue planet, as it had been when she had woken up in this place. The tower had now left the edge of the strange orb and its prophetic clouds, leaving Twilight staring out of an open window into space. But it wasn't space - something was wrong. For a start, she could apparently still breathe. It was only now, as she paid more attention to herself and her surroundings, that Twilight realised she was wearing a bright yellow dress decorated with a golden crescent moon. Which was odd. Something about all of this was wrong. She had been in her library a few moments ago, and now she was suddenly wearing a yellow dress while staring out into the eternal void from a golden tower that was orbiting a strange blue planet that contained magic clouds that showed the future.

Deep within the blue planet, which - although Twilight couldn't have known - is more commonly referred to as Skaia, the black and white kings chased each other around a 3x3 chess board. But now, as we will see, the conditions which keep them in eternal conflict were about to change. It was not a subtle change, and in no meaning of the word could the transformation of the board be described as gradual. Instead, there was a sudden flash of light as Skaia took on the information provided by the kernel. The battlefield swelled, growing to a fully sized 8x8 chess board. The first waves of the armies of Light and Darkness approached to join their kings in battle, taking their positions in opposing corners. The two king's scepters also took on the prototyping information from the kernel, and so the kings also began to transform. The stalemate was broken, the stakes had been raised considerably, and they were no longer playing an endless war.

This war would have an end, a very definite one. The white army knew this, but would fight admirably regardless. After all, every dersite they killed would buy the heroes a few more seconds. The clock was ticking.

***

"Whoooo!" Even though the golden tower and the large blue planet had long since faded into nothing, Twilight was still lying on her stomach with her eyes shut. Unfortunately, it's hard to stay asleep while you're being haunted by an owl.

"Whoooo," the voice of Owlowiscious called to her. "Twilight, wake up!" Wait, was that the same voice? "Wake up, we have much to talk about. Whooo!" Twilight reluctantly opened her eyes, if only out of curiositiy.

It was night, judging by the almost complete darkness. There was light coming from somewhere, though, which allowed her to see the library just a short distance away in front of her. Also in front of her, floating in the air, was something which had clearly been her pet owl at one point. But now he was different; it almost looked like he was a ghost now, shining in a faint purple light.

"Uh... Owlowiscious?" Twilight asked tentatively, only to be rewarded with a 'whoooo' of confirmation. "Did you... did you talk a second ago?"

"Yes, I did. Whoooo!" He seemed fairly smug about this. "You used me to prototype your kernelsprite, remember? So now that the kernel has gone off to do its own little thing, the sprite is left behind! That's me, by the way."

"OK... where are we?" That seemed important. It was probably important.

"Now, that's an interesting question. Whoooo! One answer is that we are now in the incipisphere, the game world. But more specifically, we're on your planet. Welcome to the Land of Night and Glow. It's nice, isn't it?"

Paying close attention to her surroundings for the first time, Twilight saw that the library was placed at the top of a sheer cliff, beyond which the land dived into a narrow canyon. She could see this, in spite of the darkness, due to the eerie glow which shone brightly out of the ravine. A similar glow was the cause of what little light she had on top of the cliff, and she could clearly see that it was coming from the plants surrounding the library. Presumably at the bottom of the canyon were more of these plants, all generating this soft glow. It was quite soothing to look at, in a way. At least she could see why the planet was called the Land of Night and Glow.

It suddenly occurred to her that she was talking to an owl.

"So... why can you talk?"

"A sprite is intended to function as a sort of mentor to players. Our job is to provide information about the game and the way it functions. If a sprite normally wouldn't be able to talk, the game gives it the power of speech - and increases its intelligence, if necessary."

"I see." And she did, to an extent. There were still a hundred questions to be answered, though. "So why did I need to prototype the kernelsprite at all?"

"Whoooo, well, when a prototyped kernelsprite enters, the game world adapts to take on the changes it introduces. Unless every player has at least one prototyping pre-entry, Skaia will not be able to reach its intended final form, and the game will be unwinnable."

"At least one?"

"You can prototype the sprite twice, which enhances its abilities, but you shouldn't prototype it a second time until the kernel has left the sprite. The reason being, as well as changing the game world, the prototyping information also augments the enemies of the game. The more pre-entry prototypings, the harder it will be to defeat the monarchs of Darkness. Whoooo."

"OK, I can tell that this is going to take a while." It seemed that 'Owlsprite' was incapable of giving an explanation that didn't involve some concept she hadn't learnt about yet. Luckily, Twilight was nothing if not a fast learner. "Right, so, who are the monarchs of Darkness?"

And so Twilight continued to ask, and her sprite continued to answer, as best as he was able. There are some things that a sprite may not tell its player until the time is right, and there are some things that a sprite doesn't know. Luckily, you have the advantage of an omniscient narrator, and have no need to struggle through the tedious back and forth of dialogue. So we shall leave Twilight Sparkle to learn things the hard way, while I tell you more of the realm in which she now found herself.

Twilight, after leaving Equestria, entered a place known as the Medium. It is little more than a huge, impenetrable void which takes up most of the incipisphere (the collective name for this bubble universe), and indeed it is intended to serve as a sort of blank canvas. Besides the Medium, the incipisphere holds several key features that are always present in any session. The largest, and most important of these features, is Skaia. This has been touched on briefly already. Skaia is, in essence, a giant sphere of creative potential. At its heart is the battlefield, the place where the armies of Light and Darkness wage their terrible and bitter war, and it is - at least, in successful game sessions - the place where the players will achieve their ultimate goal. It is also the target of the two factions, which I have already referred to as the armies of Light and Darkness. On Prospit, a golden planet which orbits Skaia, the armies of Light are charged with defending the battlefield. And, on the very edge of the incipisphere, beyond the Veil (a ring of meteors which completely surround the inside of the Incipisphere), lies the dark moon of Derse. From Derse, the armies of Darkness seek to destroy Skaia in order to prevent the players from winning the game.

This is the basic layout of the incipisphere, which is a constant across any session. What differs between sessions is the contents of the Medium. Although initially empty, the Medium is where the planets of the heroes will appear. Just as Owlsprite has explained, Twilight's planet - the only planet in the Medium so far - is the Land of Night and Glow. As each player enters, their planet will be created. Over the course of the game, each player will travel around their planets, travelling between them, and eventually finding their way onto the battlefield.

A final detail to note is the nature of prototyping. As stated by Owlsprite, each player must prototype at least once before entering. Doing so will allow Skaia to reach its final form, and make it possible to win the game. Also, prototypings will change the enemies of the game, who will take on characteristics of whatever was prototyped. While this has an affect on most enemies encountered on the planets in the Medium, although the soldiers of Prospit and Derse are not affected, the effects are most noticeable on the monarchs. The white king and queen of Prospit, and the black king and queen of Derse, all possess artifacts that gain the essence of the prototyped information. The kings both wield scepters, and the queens both wear rings. The underlings found on the planets of the heroes are affected, but the wielders of these items are the ones who experience the changes most drastically - and benefit the most from the impressive power increase that each prototyping brings.

And that, I believe, is more than enough information for today. Maybe even for a few months or so. Now, let us turn our attention to an entirely different universe.

***

After rather forcibly worming his way out of Fluttershy's grasp, Angel had finally managed to get back to sleep, leaving the pegasus feeling lonelier than ever. Rainbow Dash had visited her a while ago, to tell her about the library - or lack of library, but of course that had only made her feel even worse. Twilight had trusted her. And now, because of her, Twilight was dead. She was obviously dead. She was completely and utterly dead, and no amount of praying and hoping was going to change that. Fluttershy knew that. And, although she didn't expect that she'd ever recover from it, it was time to admit that Twilight was dead. If she were so inclined, she might say that on a scale from 'dead' to 'not dead', Twilight was so dead that the scale was in very bad taste and should probably be taken outside for a time out. But she wasn't, and the fact remained that Twilight was incredibly dead.

[crespucularMagicant began talking with reticentButterfly]

CM: Hey Fluttershy, I'm not dead!

CM: :D

CM: Oh, wow, I did the face thing. Somehow.

Considering how long she had been working on convincing herself that Twilight was dead, Fluttershy cheered up surprisingly quickly.

RB: TWILIGHT!

RB: YOU'RE ALIVE!

CM: Uh, yeah, I am.

CM: Heh.

RB: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!

CM: Yes Fluttershy, I'm alive. You can calm down now.

RB: Oh, sorry.

RB: I'm just so happy that you're still alive!

RB: And not dead.

CM: Well, so am I.

RB: It was just awful, I thought you had died, and it was all my fault.

CM: What? How would it be your fault?

RB: Well, I did leave you for ages. If I hadn't, it wouldn't have been so close.

CM: But that's understandable, the forest was on fire.

CM: Oh, wait, the forest was on fire!

CM: Are you OK?

RB: Yes, I'm fine.

RB: The fire's been taken care of now, and I've captchalogued all of my animals, so they're safe.

CM: Ah, good.

CM: OK, well, I've gotten into the game world. And my library is here too, so I guess that's pretty convenient.

CM: And according to Owlsprite, now I have to travel around my planet.

CM: I have a planet now.

CM: It's amazing.

RB: Uh...

RB: Who's Owlsprite?

CM: Oh, it's Owlowiscious. But now he's my sprite, so he can talk to me and tell me things about how the game works.

RB: I... see...

CM: Anyway, here's the situation.

CM: Above my house are these purple round portals called 'gates' that travel around the game world.

CM: I don't really understand the rotation yet, but I know that the first one will lead to somewhere else out in my planet.

CM: But in order to get to it, I need you to go build up my house so that I can reach it.

CM: And you can't build anything without grist, as you found out when I entered.

CM: So here's the three part plan:

CM: 1. I go out and defeat some enemies, thus earning us some grist to work with.

CM: 2. You use the grist to build my house up towards the first gate.

CM: 3. I go through the first gate and start my quest, and then you can get into the game.

RB: OK, that sounds fine.

RB: But my screen has stopped working.

CM: It probably just cut out when it lost the connection.

CM: Just try opening the server interface again and it should work.

RB: OK then. See you in a little while, Twilight!

CM: Bye!

[crespucularMagicant stopped talking with reticentButterfly]

After the conversation log closed, Fluttershy walked over to the screen that had allowed her to see Twilight a few hours before. She then activated it, and it showed Twilight standing outside of the library. As she had said, it did seem like she was on another planet, judging by the odd coloured grass, and the lack of stars in the sky. But now, we must leave Fluttershy for a while, as Pinkie Pie is suddenly being interesting.

***

After the meteor had hit Ponyville, most ponies had begun to evacuate. More meteors were on the way, after all. Of course, it was the middle of the night, and a lot of ponies didn't know what was going on, so Rainbow and a few other pegasi had decided to spread the warning around the town. Applejack had taken care of her family, apparently. Rarity would obviously make sure that Sweetie Belle was OK, and Sweetie Belle would obviously make sure that Scootaloo was OK. So Rainbow decided to visit Pinkie Pie, just to make sure that she had told Mr and Mrs Cake to evacuate.

Inside Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie hadn't told Mr and Mrs Cake to evacuate. They were still sleeping upstairs, and she didn't want to wake up the babies. Instead, she had spent most of her time talking with her friends.

[insanityPrelude began talking with adamantineCorsair]

IP: Hi Rarity!

IP: You're not busy, are you?

AC: Hello Pinkie.

AC: Sorry, but yes I am busy.

AC: Busy making sure Sweetie Belle is alright.

IP: Oh, right.

IP: :/

AC: What is it?

IP: You're all so busy tonight.

IP: Nopony has time to talk to me.

AC: Well, I can't just tell Sweetie to leave Ponyville, and then leave her to it.

AC: At least Mr and Mrs Cake are independent enough to get on with things.

AC: I would imagine.

IP: Huh?

IP: Oh, I haven't told them yet.

AC: You haven't?

AC: Don't you think that maybe you should?

IP: But they're sleeping, and they're really tired after dealing with the babies all afternoon.

IP: It'd be mean of me to wake them up.

AC: But surely it'd be even worse if you let them get killed by a meteor?

IP: Oh, don't worry, I'm not going to let that happen!

IP: I'll tell them in the morning. The next meteor will only just be falling by then anyway.

AC: ... and how do you know that?

IP: I just know!

IP: Remember? :)

AC: Oh, right... I forgot.

AC: Anyway, I still think you should let them know.

IP: Maybe...

[adamantineCorsair stopped talking with insanityPrelude]

While she would have normally picked a friend at random and started talking to them, Pinkie became distracted by Rainbow Dash knocking at her front door. She answered, and Rainbow quickly rushed inside.

"Pinkie! Are the Cakes here?" Despite the urgency in her voice, Pinkie simply burst out laughing, much to Rainbow's annoyance. "This isn't funny! This is serious!"

"Oh, Rainbow..." Pinkie's reply came in bursts, amidst fits of laughter. "Of course... of course the cakes are here..." Thinking about what she was about to say almost made her unable to get the words out, but she managed it anyway. "IT'S A CAKE SHOP!"

"Pinkie." Rainbow's voice became flat, her face devoid of any expression, as she tried to be as serious as possible. "You know what I meant."

"Yeah, but the way you said it was funny!" She seemed far too happy, Rainbow decided. Only half listening to the crazy pony in front of her, she started towards the stairs to go and find the Cakes herself. "Anyway, yes they're still here. I didn't want to wake them up, so - hey, where're you going?"

"To wake them up. I know that there's no danger until Fluttershy enters the game, but we can't take any chances. Especially when we have to think about the babies." Pinkie had to admit that it made sense. "I'll go and tell them about what's happening, and then..." Rainbow paused, trying to decide if she really wanted to do this. But Pinkie seemed a bit deflated after being reminded about the babies being in danger. "And then I'll stay here and keep you company. For a bit." She hastily added that last sentence after seeing how quickly Pinkie returned to her normal self.

"Really? Great! We can make cupcakes, and play Monopony, and sing songs, and-" Rainbow had her serious face on again. "-and then we can do boring preparation stuff for this game." Satisfied, Rainbow continued up the stairs and went to tell Mr and Mrs Cake about the meteors, while Pinkie stayed down in the shop grumbling to herself.

***

While initially surprised - and more than a little disturbed - by just how effectively a quill could act as a weapon, Twilight had managed to put any morals to one side and tear a path through the swarm of imps that were attacking the library. She had been assured by Owlsprite that underlings were little more than simple game constructs - not citizens of either kingdom, but just simple minded programs with no thoughts or feelings. Real or otherwise, apparently, whatever that was supposed to mean. Although it was a little off-putting that they all had the heads of owls. Regardless, she had quickly begun to accumulate a large amount of grist, which Fluttershy had started to use to build up the library. Twilight suspected that she might have just wanted the excuse to stop watching the violence. The pegasus had been horrified by the sight of imps bursting into nothing more than a few nuggets of build grist. Which could be a problem when it was her turn to enter if she refused to fight, Twilight thought. Though they might be easy to destroy, the imps were very aggressive, and she had a feeling that they would only get stronger over time.

These thoughts were pushed from her mind as the last of this wave of imps exploded, leaving behind a few units of build grist and a single unit of amethyst. As Twilight collected it, a familiar fanfare sounded and a small message box opened up next to her, announcing that she had climbed another rung of her echeladder. Her echeladder, as far as she could tell, was a system that let her become more powerful over the course of the game by reaching higher and higher levels. As a reward for defeating enemies, her abilities would be enhanced so that she could defeat stronger enemies, and so on. Which was interesting. Currently, she was apparently at the rung of 'Huygens Apprentice'. So far she had climbed several rungs of her echeladder, each of which had been similarly named, though she suspected the name had no real significance.

[crespucularMagicant began talking with reticentButterfly]

CM: I just climbed a rung again!

RB: Oh, great...

CM: ?

CM: What is it?

RB: Nothing, just, how did you climb it?

CM: Well, I suppose I just gathered enough experience to jump up a rung.

RB: So you mean you killed enough imps?

CM: I guess so.

RB: As long as you're happy, then.

CM: Fluttershy, please don't be like that.

CM: I told you, they're not really alive in any meaningful sense of the word.

CM: They're just simple game constructs that exist purely so that we can get experience and grist from them.

RB: Nothing's that simple.

CM: ...

CM: OK, whatever.

CM: How's the library coming along?

RB: It's just fine.

CM: But is it at the first gate yet?

RB: No.

CM: ... do you have enough grist to get it up to the first gate?

RB: Maybe.

CM: Fluttershy...

RB: ... no, so you'd better go and kill some more imps.

CM: Sorry...

RB: Just do what you have to, and I'll stay here and build.

CM: OK.

[crespucularMagicant stopped talking with reticentButterfly]

Briefly glancing back to the library, Twilight saw that Fluttershy had indeed managed to build up quite a distance above the tree. The gate, however, remained high above the top of the building, tauntingly close and yet unreachable. Looking forwards, down the narrow winding path that led down the nearby cliff, she could already see the next wave of underlings gathering for an attack. Quill at the ready, she began to charge.

***

In the interest of moving the story forward, we will now skip ahead a while. Don't worry though, as you haven't missed anything important. Or at least, you haven't missed anything important that I wouldn't have found some other way to avoid telling you about. Assuming that there was anything that I don't want you to know about yet, which there might not be. I'll leave you to decide that for yourself. In any case, I will skip past the highly repetitive chore of stabbing imps with a quill, to when Twilight finds herself confronted with yet another complex machine, installed next to her totem lathe.

[crespucularMagicant began talking with reticentButterfly]

CM: So, what does this latest creation of yours do?

RB: I don't know, it was just available to deploy...

RB: It's called a 'Punch Designix'.

CM: Punch? As in punched cards?

Scanning across the machine, Twilight saw that there was a slot for inserting captchalogue cards. Next to that, was a small pad of buttons which seemed to be able to correspond to letters or numbers. There were also two lights, one of which was currently shining red.

CM: OK, so I think I can put a captchalogue card into here.

CM: And then, presumably I have to use these buttons for something or other.

CM: Any ideas?

RB: Uh...

"How about you, Spike? Any ideas?" The dragon thought for a moment.

"Well, I don't suppose you could... try typing in the letters on the back of the card?" Taking a card out of her sylladex, Twilight turned it over. As she had seen before, a string of wavy, hard to read letters could be seen on this side of the card. The truth was that she had forgotten all about the code, not that she would admit that to Spike.

"I guess. But then what would it do, make a punched card based on what I type in?" And then, just like that, something clicked in her mind. "Oh, so I made an item before using a punched card. But with this, I can make my own punched cards. So it must be that the pattern that is punched onto the card relates to the code. Which means I can put in codes from the backs of cards, punch a card with that code, and then use it to make the item on the original card!"

"I... yeah?" Spike scratched his head in confusion. This was all a bit too much at once for him.

Punching in the code on the back of the card (a small sapphire she had captchalogued, mainly to keep it from Spike), Twilight inserted it into the slot.

RB: Twilight, stop!

Retrieving the card from the machine, Twilight saw that it had indeed been punched, and in a different pattern to the pre-punched card she had used to enter. The only problem now was that she couldn't retrieve the sapphire.

CM: What? I got it to work!

RB: Yeah...

RB: But you could have punched a blank card, so you'd still be able to use the original card.

CM: Oh, right. Oops.

RB: :/

Well, there was always time to learn and improve, Twilight reasoned. Besides, if she could take the codes from any item that could be catpchalogued, and use it to replicate the item, then she and her friends could send each other any item in their posession. Which had potential.

"Well, I'm going to go and find something to eat." Spike called behind him, as he strode off towards the kitchen. He seemed less than happy that his perfect, delicious gemstones had been effectively destroyed by the designix. Meanwhile, Twilight had a lot more investigations to do into this machine and its uses. Retrieving another few captchalogue cards (blank ones, this time) from her sylladex, Twilight reached a hoof up to the machine.

"Ah, there you are!" Quickly retracting her hoof, Twilight spun around towards the source of the voice - it was a male voice, but not one she recognised. Turning her back on the designix, she could now see a teal unicorn standing in front of her, hovering a large open book next to him. "I wanted to talk to you, for a moment."

"Who are you?" At the question, a brief flash of confusion appeared on his face, disappearing after a few moments of thought.

"I'm a friend, even though it will become hard for you to believe that." He paused, carefully considering his next words. "You've already talked to me, briefly, but quite soon we'll start talking again."

"I'm sorry, but I don't really understand what you're talking about." And she didn't, to an extent. Though she did have a hint of an idea. "You're saying that you're going to start talking to me, in the future?" He nodded.

"Relatively speaking. Your future, my past. Technically, I shouldn't be here talking to you. It's against the rules. The rules that I made up. The rules which, in due time, I will give everyone a hard time over. Wait, stop, let me start this again." So Twilight waited for the pony to explain himself.

"OK. I come from a different session of this game, that I played with my - and I use the term loosely - friends. In a little while, past me will start talking to you. Your session and my session communicating is a thing which has to happen. It's really important for continuity reasons, so there's no point trying to change it. So we'll talk, and help each other out, and so on."

"I see. So, is there a point to all this?"

"The point is that I wanted to come back here, to see you before we start talking to your group. To see you before you'd met me, so that I could actually speak to you properly and civilly. So that I could say... sorry." With that word, a weight seemed to fall from this strange pony, as he gave a short sigh of relief to have gotten through his introduction. "I'm sorry, Twilight Sparkle," Even though she should have expected it, it still surprised Twilight that he knew her name. "For everything I'm about to do, or about to have done, or going to have done in the future-past. I'm going to be really stupid, really annoying, and really mean for no reason, and I'm sorry. I was stupid, and I wasn't thinking things through."

"But, I need to tell you now, so that you can remember in the future, that I feel bad about everything I did. I'm going to spend a lot of time thinking, and then I'm going to need your help. And you won't want to give me your help. You'll hate me, you'll want me to go away and leave you in peace. And I won't know how to reach out to you. I don't even know if this is going to work. I just want you to know now, before I say or do anything to screw it up, that all I want is for us to be friends." He seemed sincere, although Twilight had no idea what anypony could do to make her hate them in any serious way.

"Right... sorry, but this is kind of a lot to take in." In truth, Twilight was still puzzling her way through what the term 'future-past' was supposed to mean, or even if it was a proper term.

"Of course, of course. That's all I wanted to say, anyway, and I really shouldn't hang around here for longer than necessary." He nodded towards the designix. "Oh, and once you have enough grist, try making 'PH04?D6E'. I'll see you later, Twilight." So saying, he turned his attention back to his large book. A few seconds of hurried page-turning later, and the mysterious stallion disappeared into nothing.

Shaking her head free of the hundreds of thoughts attempting to get noticed, most of which were variations of the phrase 'what the hay just happened?!?', Twilight turned her attention to the designix. Whatever that had been about, she would probably find out soon enough.

Chapter 5

View Online

A Monopony board halfway through a game does not, by any standards, make a comfortable bed. The hard floor beneath it was bad enough, and all of the tiny houses and counters only made things worse. The fact that Pinkie Pie, of all ponies, was tired enough to simply collapse onto the board without so much as a mumbled cry of pain told Rainbow just how late it was. It was amazing how long the game had lasted, especially since she was almost certain that Pinkie had been cheating. Nopony was that lucky.

It was late, and the day had certainly been action packed. But for whatever reason, Rainbow didn't really feel tired. What she did feel was worried. Worried about this game that they were all playing, and worried about what would happen to her friends. For now though, Pinkie seemed fine, so the pegasus decided to leave while she still could.

Meanwhile, in an altogether different plane of reality...

Twilight had been awake, Pinkie could tell. Partly because it was among the things which she 'just knew', and partly because the unicorn was sleeping on the floor rather than safely in her bed. Honestly, her friends were so silly sometimes. What kind of moron just goes to sleep on the floor like that? Shaking her head in dismay, Pinkie dragged Twilight up off of the floor and attempted to put her back into bed. Unfortunately this didn't work out too well, and Twilight ended up on the floor again, lying on her back with her feet resting on the bed. It always seemed to Pinkie that it was hard to focus on physical tasks as her dream self. She supposed it made sense, in a nonsensical kind of way.

Leaving her friend in peace for now, Pinkie flew out of Twilight's tower and traversed the gap towards the next tower. There were three gold towers in total, built up from the cluttered city on Prospit's moon, and were where the three Heroes of Prospit lived. Specifically, it was where Pinkie, Twilight, and Applejack lived. At least, in their dreams. All players of Sburb had a dream self, another part of their identity which lived on one of two moons - one orbiting Prospit, and the other orbiting Derse. These dream selves were a part of the player, but were also detached from them in ways that are too complex and/or irrelevant to explain further.

As a general rule, a dream self remained asleep while the pony's main body was awake, and vice versa. Of course, before a dream self could wake up, it first needed a trigger of some sort. Pinkie had spent her dreams on Prospit for as long as she could remember, but unfortunately Twilight and Applejack had remained asleep for all of these years. So Pinkie had waited, and watched the clouds, and had learned much about the events which were soon to take place. They hadn't meant anything to her at the time, of course, but now that this game was starting, things were beginning to come together. Slowly.

Entering the third tower through the window, Pinkie found Applejack's dream self where she had always been - asleep in her bed, and unresponsive to even the most senseless of head tappings. When the moon was not passing through Skaia, Pinkie spent most of her time in Applejack's tower, attempting to wake her friend. She had seen that Twilight would wake up in her own time, but the clouds had yet to show her Applejack's awakening. Until they did, it was her duty to try.

***

[reticentButterfly began talking with crespucularMagicant]

RB: Twilight?

RB: What... what is that thing?

If she was being perfectly honest, Twilight didn't have the slightest idea what the thing she had just made was. After a bit of messing around with the designix, she had amused herself by replicating various items from around her home - at the cost of grist, of course. While an endless supply of gemstones was fine, and certainly appealed to Spike, it wasn't exactly useful. Which had gotten Twilight to thinking, and that had led to crazy experiments, and that had led to her latest creation.

By using the same captchalogue card twice, punching it with two different codes, Twilight had created a more complex pattern, which she had then used to carve a totem for the alchemiter. With this, she had somehow created a combination of a telescope, and a sapphire. The result, apparently, was a telescope made entirely of solid sapphire. Even the lens.

It was completely useless.

CM: I think it's a telescope made out of sapphire.

RB: Oh.

RB: It's... lovely?

CM: It's pointless!

CM: You can't see through this!

RB: Well, I'm sure it'll be useful somehow.

RB: Maybe...

CM: :/

CM: Still, this does present some interesting possibilities if I can combine items like this.

CM: I could make... uh...

CM: Any ideas?

RB: Hm...

CM: Oh wait, I know!

Excitedly, Twilight gathered together a few items from around the library, while Spike looked on with a slightly worried expression. Nevertheless, he captchalogued the items for her, as she rushed about her home. This was going to be so great.

Returning to her designix, Twilight inserted a blank card and proceeded to punch it with the codes for her quill, and a bottle of ink. Quickly making the totem, she rushed back up the stairs to the alchemiter.

CM: You couldn't have placed these things any further apart, you know.

RB: Sorry...

CM: Don't worry about it, just watch.

Placing the totem carved from a combination of a quill and ink, Twilight triumphantly alchemised... the, uh... Twilight frowned as she read the message which appeared before her, displaying the rather underwhelming transformation.

RB: So... what is that?

CM: It's a pen.

RB: Oh.

RB: Is it any more useful than the telescope?

CM: Marginally.

CM: I think I can just use it without dipping it in ink all the time.

RB: I see...

CM: Well, there are a load more combinations I want to try.

RB: OK.

RB: Don't use all the grist, though.

RB: I still need to build up the library to the first gate.

CM: Oh, yeah.

CM: Well... I suppose I'll just do a little more, since I've got so much grist.

CM: And then I'll go get you some more, I guess.

RB: Fine.

[crespucularMagicant stopped talking with reticentButterfly]

***

[desertedDestiny began pestering crespucularMagicant]

DD: Hi.

CM: Uh... hi?

DD: Our 'mutual friend' said I should give you this...

DD: So I guess I may as well.

CM: Give me what?

CM: Also, who?

DD: yU7DDh0U

DD: that, and a quill, he said

DD: enjoy

[desertedDestiny ceased pestering crespucularMagicant]

Many totems later, some of which had turned out better than others, Twilight found herself in possession of a wide range of items. Among the more useful items from this pile of crazy combinations was a quill equipped with a telescope (for long range inscription, as Spike had joked), another quill which was decidedly better suited for use as a weapon (combining it with yU77DDh0U, which turned out to create some kind of large sword, that her strife specibus still counted as a quill and thus allowed her to use it as a weapon), and something which the game had called HISTORICALLY ACCURATE. This last item she had made by combining her largest history book which wasn't a charred mess, with a clock. The resulting book appeared to allow her to read up on any period of history she chose, set by changing the built in clock. It was basically the biggest step forward in learning about history since ever. And maybe it had some kind of weird time power? Twilight wasn't sure about that, but there was always time for messing around with it later.

She had also attempted to create the item which the mysterious pony from earlier had suggested - PH04?D6E, he had said - but it seemed that she couldn't make it quite yet. According to the game, whatever the item was it required several million units of amethyst, diamond, and a load of other grist types which she hadn't yet discovered. If she were so inclined, and it wasn't a blatant attempt to get laughs by using somepony else's joke, she might say that this item cost all of the grists. All of them. But she wasn't, and that was bad grammar anyway. Instead, she decided to put this mystery item on hold until she was capable of making it.

What was more demanding of her attention was the fact that Fluttershy had now built up to her first gate.

[reticentButterfly began talking with crespucularMagicant]

RB: Twilight, the... uh...

RB: Gate?

RB: You can get at it now.

CM: Great!

CM: Thanks, Fluttershy.

RB: Oh, no, it wasn't that hard.

RB: Although I'm getting a bit worried about how stable this design is going to be in the future.

CM: What are you talking ab-

CM: :O

As she looked upwards from her balcony, Twilight could see the fruit of Fluttershy's efforts. After the rather stark transition between where tree ended, and plain white game construct began, the design was... the word 'eclectic' came to mind, but in truth the term 'totally indiscriminate' may have been closer to the truth. Doing away with any kind of symmetry, Fluttershy had built up the house in a very long, winding, complex jumble of stairs and platforms. While it seemed perfectly navigable, Twilight could understand the worry about stability. The rest of the gates were a lot higher up than this first one.

CM: I'm... sure it'll be fine.

CM: Since it hasn't fallen down already.

RB: :c

CM: Anyway, don't worry about that yet.

CM: There will be time for building up my house later.

CM: Preferably after we get you into the game, and out of the way of the meteor.

RB: Right!

CM: You should connect to Rainbow Dash now, I guess, and then she'll get you in.

RB: Oh, about that, Rainbow's not going to be my server.

CM: She's not?

RB: No, she's decided to stay behind and help with the fires for as long as possible, or something like that.

RB: So Applejack's going to be my server.

CM: Oh. Well, sure I guess that'll be fine...

CM: Hopefully.

CM: Anyway, I'll see you later Fluttershy!

[crespucularMagicant stopped talking with reticentButterfly]

"Come on Spike, let's go," Twilight called after Spike as she began to climb up through the maze of staircases. "Fluttershy's done her part, for now, and now we have to do ours." The dragon, after yet another round of ceaseless magical fire, was less than thrilled at the prospect of going out adventuring.

"Urgh... are we never going to get any rest? We've been at this for hours!" It was true, they had, although curiosity alone was enough to keep Twilight awake. "I know that you're not tired, but I can't stay behind because you need me to pick up stuff!"

"Look, I'm sorry about this Spike, but we're not just playing a game here. The fate of Equestria depends on us, and we have to keep going. Tell you what; if you can pull together for a few more hours until we get back here, I'll alchemise you a ton of gemstones." He seemed to agree with that, and followed her up the stairs.

After a deceptively long climb, Twilight and Spike finally found themselves at the highest point of the building, the first gate before them. It was a large purple spirograph, which constantly cycled through a pattern of different shapes, much like the pattern which had appeared while she was setting up the client/server connection to Fluttershy. Presumably, it was a simple case of walking forwards and passing through the gate. At least it would have been, before Owlsprite flew down from somewhere to confront her.

"Twilight, wait! Whoooo!" he seemed quite agitated about something, clearly relieved at having caught up to her. "Before you continue, I need to tell you something. Once you pass through the first gate, you will be sent to a different part of the planet, as I have told you. There, you must talk to the citizens of this planet, and begin your quest to save them. I will still be able to talk to you when necessary, but I cannot accompany you through the gate."

"Oh. OK, I guess." It was a little irritating to have to leave Owlsprite behind, as - in addition to speech - the prototyping had made him very powerful, and he had been helpful with fighting the imps. "So can I count on you to make sure no imps get into my house?"

"Whoooo! I will try, but I can't make any promises. Partly because the game frowns on sprites who aren't vague over every little detail. Maybe no imps will get in, maybe some will. Whoooo knows?" His goodbye complete, Owlsprite promptly took off into the sky again, a faint "Good luck!" echoing down to Twilight.

With that, Twilight and Spike stepped forwards, and entered the first gate.

***

Back in Ponyville, Fluttershy decided that now was as good a time to get started as any. It would be morning soon, and her meteor was beginning to get a little too close for comfort.

[reticentButterfly began talking with obstinateCultivator]

RB: Applejack?

RB: Are you ready?

OC: Oh, hi Fluttershy.

OC: Ah was just about to ask ya the same thing, as it happens.

RB: OK, well, activate your server scroll, and it should connect to me...

RB: I think.

OC: Sure thing.

So she did.

Through a highly convoluted and repetitive series of events, which largely replicate the process through which Twilight entered, Fluttershy and Applejack began the process of entering. Machines were deployed, totems were carved. While this was no doubt highly entertaining, it was also a long enough process that it took up an entire chapter last time. I will therefore assume that the mechanics of a player's entry to the Medium needs no further explanation, and cut out the majority of the process.

In Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack simply sat staring at the screen in front of her with a look of shock at what had just happened. Neither of the two ponies were quite sure how the large hole in Fluttershy's roof had happened, but they both agreed that it was probably best if they never spoke of it again.

RB: OK... well, that's one way of doing that.

OC: Eeyup...

OC: Are ya sure that everything's alright?

RB: Yes, it's fine.

RB: The important thing is that we've got everything set up now.

RB: And we've got...

Trying to ignore the carnage surrounding the cruxtruder, and instead simply paying attention to the machine itself, Fluttershy read off the timer.

RB: 2:56.

OC: :O

RB: Oh. That's not all that long, is it?

OC: Well... don't y'all worry none.

OC: We'll get ya in.

OC: Here, ya take the card and go make the item.

OC: Ah'll take care of the kernel.

RB: OK.

[reticentButterfly stopped talking with obstinateCultivator]

While Fluttershy went about the process of using the pre-punched card to carve a totem, and then make the item, Applejack looked around the small cottage in search of something to prototype the kernelsprite with. The yellow ball of light didn't seem particularly drawn to anything, content to simply hover and making annoying noises.

"Let's see here," Applejack muttered under her breath as she scanned the room. "So Twilight said that whatever we use will change the enemies, and the more powerful the prototype, the more powerful the enemies. So Ah need something that isn't going to be much of a threat." There were plenty of potential candidates, as Fluttershy didn't really have any possessions that could ever be much of a threat to anypony. But one thing in the room caught her attention. "Perfect."

Contrary to what you may expect, the prototyping she had chosen was not stupid or game-breaking in any way. That would have just been kind of predictable and kind of silly.

***

While Applejack and Fluttershy were messing around with cruxite and kernelsprites and who knew what else, Twilight and Spike emerged from the gate. It had apparently deposited them somewhere in the hills of the Land of Night and Glow. While it was most certainly night, there wasn't an awful lot of glow. As far as Twilight could tell - based on what little she had seen of the planet - most of the glow was underground, or at least in steep valleys bordered by the kind of landscape where she now found herself. A few luminescent plants were dotted about here and there, which lit up a small winding path that would presumably lead her to wherever she was supposed to be going. It would seem that she had little choice but to follow it.

As it turned out, her apparent destination was only a short distance away; as the hills dipped and flattened, the land passed between two raised sections of rock. Within this valley, the night shone with the combined glow of an entire forest of plant life, illuminating the deep lake in which all the flora was growing. It looked beautiful, but there wasn't any time for admiring the landscape before Twilight was surrounded by small, hunched, bipedal figures. They looked kind of like iguanas. As they advanced Twilight stood protectively over Spike, who held onto her leg nervously.

"Stop right there, criminal scum!" the leader (presumably) spoke in a quiet whisper, with as much anger as it is possible to convey in such a manner. "Just what do you think you're doing this close to the Glowmire?" The others murmured the agreement.

"I think she's a Dersite spy!" one of them suggested, again in a faint whisper.

"Either that, or she's here to steal what little food we have left!" said another.

"Maybe she's a Dersite spy AND she's here to steal what little food we have left!" this final suggestion seemed to get the most universal agreement, albeit very quiet agreement. They seemed very convinced of their position, despite the fact that Twilight was (unless she was mistaken) supposed to be the hero of this planet. She suspected that it was because they weren't all that intelligent, but decided against bringing up this theory.

"Now, now, calm down everyone." The leader silenced his soldiers with an angry glare, before turning back to Twilight. "Now listen here, missy, I don't know who you are. I don't know what you're doing here. Most likely, you really are a Dersite spy, in which case I should have you executed. But, we're NOT" he said this with emphasis as he shot another glare at each of his men. "we're NOT going to make any assumptions. Because we are SENSIBLE and REASONABLE, and we are not in any way similar in our methods to the disgusting Dersite slugs who you may or may not work for. Now, what's your name, and what are you doing here?"

"My name is-" Twilight began, causing the assembled iguanas to jump out of their skin.

"SHHHHHHHH!" Amusingly, the angrier the leader got, the quieter his whisper. "Are you mad or something? Keep your voice down while we're out on the surface!" So Twilight began again, this time trying to keep her voice down.

"Sorry! I'm Twilight Sparkle, and this is my assistant Spike." Spike waved nervously, but didn't let go of Twilight. "We're sorry if we're not supposed to be here, this is just where we ended up after we went through the gate." At these words, the leader's eyes widened.

"Gate? You don't mean... you're... the MAGE?" As they realised what he was getting at, the other iguanas cried out in shock. Very, very quietly.

"Uh... I guess? I can do magic, if that's what you mean." Apparently that was what he meant, as before she knew it the group were lying before her, arms outstretched, as if praying to her.

"We apologise, o Mage! We didn't know..." Growing in confidence a little at the sight of the terrified soldiers, Spike let go of her leg and approached them.

"Well now, that's more like it. It's nice to get a little respect around here." The leader looked up at him in bemusement, then to Twilight.

"What about this dragon, Mage? Does he have a part to play in your prophecised victory?"

"My prophecised what now?" This was news to Twilight. Owlsprite hadn't mentioned any prophecy.

"Oh, but we mustn’t talk of such matters here, Mage. We should retreat to the city, where we will be safe." Satisfied that their grovelling had worked, and they were no longer in danger of being incinerated by the fury of a crossed mage, the leader gestured for his men to rise. "We would be honoured to accompany you back to safety." He gave a glance to Spike. "And your pet can come too." Spike had more than a few things to say to that.

"Well, that sounds lovely. Thank you for offering." Twilight whispered brightly, cutting Spike's protest short. "Come on, Spike, let's go with them." She trotted off after the iguanas, while Spike reluctantly followed.

***

[obstinateCultivator began talking with reticentButterfly]

OC: 'Shy?

OC: Ah don't mean to rush ya, but that timer's getting awfully short.

RB: I know, I know, I just...

RB: Well, what am I supposed to do with this?

Standing in her newly remodelled cottage, Fluttershy glanced nervously between the timer (0:30) and the solid yellow jar she was holding. She had to think, and the morning breeze coming through the holes in her wall wasn't helping. Over the course of the undoubtedly hilarious (and time consuming) antics which had comprised Fluttershy's entrance, Applejack had managed to throw several pieces of furniture through the side of the cottage. But what's done was done, Fluttershy told herself, and there was no point in feeling sore over a few lost walls. Not when she was about to lose a lot more if she didn't figure this thing out.

OC: Ya tried breaking it, didn't ya?

RB: Yes.

RB: It's too strong.

OC: Maybe Ah should have a go?

RB: Uh...

RB: I appreciate the offer, but I don't think we're supposed to break it.

OC: Then what are ya meant to do with it?

RB: Hm.

The only other thing that she could do was to try and open the jar, she supposed. Not that she had any idea how that would help.

RB: I'll try opening it.

OC: OK.

***

[fractalAbomination began pestering crespucularMagicant]

FA: hi again

CM: Oh, hello!

CM: I never got a chance to say thanks for earlier.

FA: yeah, np i guess

FA: what are you doing now then

CM: Well, I've gone through my first gate.

CM: And now I'm talking with these iguana men.

FA: oh, right, your consorts.

FA: men? can iguanas even be guys?

FA: aren't they hermaphrodites or something?

CM: Uh...

FA: dw, it's probably not important

FA: what's important is exactly what you've been doing with your time

FA: on my end it's been a few hours since i helped you enter, so you should be on your second gate by now as far as i can tell

FA: did something go wrong?

CM: Not really. It has been a couple of hours.

CM: I've just been learning about this planet.

FA: oh, ok, i guess you kind of need to know that stuff

FA: you mean like, what your quest is and things like that?

CM: I guess? But not just what my role in all this is.

CM: They have a fascinating cultural background.

CM: Although most of it is quite morbid.

FA: omfg, you're actually paying attention to the backstory?!?

FA: idc which backwater corner of paradox space you came from

FA: paying attention to the backstory is a universally accepted constant

FA: for being terrible at gaming

FA: no wonder you lot need my help

CM: But what's the rush?

FA: the rush, you say?

FA: tell me, in all your wasted hours, did you learn anything about the reckoning?

CM: The reckoning? I think Owlsprite may have mentioned it. Vaguely.

FA: right, well, you know skaia?

CM: Yeah...

FA: once the reckoning starts, you have 24 hours

FA: after that, poof

FA: no more skaia

FA: that is the rush

CM: I see. And when does this reckoning begin?

FA: it differs. all i know is that you have to get all your players into the medium, up their echeladders, and done with your planets as soon as possible

CM: Fine.

CM: One last question, then.

CM: Why are you helping us?

FA: that

FA: is a fucking good question

[fractalAbomination ceased pestering crespucularMagicant]

Closing the communication spell with an air of frustration, Twilight tried to focus on the task before her. Regardless of what that irritating pony had said, she had been making progress. After entering the iguana city, a huge underground cavern filled with people and lit up by a silly amount of glowing plant life, Twilight had been taken straight to their library. There, she had learned an awful lot about the history of the Land of Night and Glow. Once, the surface of the planet had been covered in the glowing plants, and the iguanas had lived happily, farming the few plants which didn't glow. That had all changed when the Derse agents had appeared, and had journeyed into the bowels of the planet to talk with Hephaestus, a powerful entity that lived in the heart of LONAG. It was the fires of Hephaestus' palace which kept the planet alive, but the agents somehow persuaded him to extinguish the flames. As a result, the entire planet was slowly cooling, and gradually the plant life on the surface was beginning to die off. The iguanas had been forced to move underground, chasing the vanishing heat. On the surface, the underlings of Hephaestus roamed free, infesting the few portions of the land where plants still grew, keeping the people trapped underground.

And now it was Twilight's task to somehow save everything. But first, she wanted to read this book, if only so as to complete the entire library. It didn't seem to be about LONAG specifically, instead speaking of Skaia and the Medium as a whole. It spoke of many things, mostly in a frustratingly poetic and vague manner. It spoke of the assembled heroes of legend, and their roles in fulfilling the prophecy and performing the ultimate alchemy. It spoke of the Mage and the Witch, the Rogue and the Seer, the Knight and the Bard, not necessarily in that order. It spoke of others, as well; the heroes of Skaia's shadow, where the Mind would be broken, and the walls would collapse. It spoke of the birth of apocalypse from the ashes of its wake, and of the intertwined fates of student and teacher.

Of course, it didn't actually speak, because that would be silly, and Twilight spent a few minutes thinking to herself about just how odd it was to say that a book spoke about something. This is why it is important to edit your work. Coming to the conclusion that this book was not going to be of any real use, Twilight returned it to the shelf, and decided that now it was time to get her silly old adventure off to the races. So to speak. Walking over to where Spike had fallen asleep against the bookcase, Twilight nudged him awake.

"Come on, Spike. We've got work to do."

***

[fractalAbomination began pestering mushroomAddict]

FA: hey

FA: are you there?

FA: ... you're asleep, aren't you

FA: you're asleep, and you've left your account online

FA: that's what happened

FA: ISN'T IT.

FA: >:C

FA: ok, well, whatever

FA: when you get back

FA: reticentButterfly just entered

FA: i'm up to my neck dealing with the mage

FA: so space girl is your responsibility, for now

FA: try to be nice, and represent us well

FA: don't do anything i wouldn't do

FA: also, just a heads up

FA: these guys are complete noobs

FA: so at least you'll have that in common C:

FA: cya

[fractalAbomination ceased pestering mushroomAddict]

***

Elsewhere, a gentle light trickled down through dead trees, spilling onto the forest floor and running alongside the gentle brooks that wormed their way in between the spindly plants. Though most of the plants were dead, the land retained a sense of the warmth it had once enjoyed. It had not, however, retained the amphibian contraband for which half of the land had been named, much to the dismay of the planet's consorts.

They retained some hope, however. As long as half the name persisted, however slightly, they would continue fighting. And now, for the first time, they had a way to fight back. The hero had entered.

Chapter 6

View Online

It was now late in the morning, and gradually Rarity's senses returned despite her desperate attempts to keep them away. It seemed the Universe wanted her awake again. Now the game was to convince herself that she was asleep for as long as possible. First of all, she half heartedly satiated the growing urge to stretch by rolling to the other side of her bed, but in that position a small gap in the curtains betrayed her to the merciless sunlight. Though her eyes were closed, she could still feel the burning heat on her eyelids. This was an interesting tactical move by the Universe, and the second in a game that she never, ever won. But winning wasn't the goal - the goal was to waste as much time as possible. Rarity was not much of a morning pony.

She considered her options (as deeply as it is possible to consider anything when you're asleep, because she was asleep). To move out of the light would be to admit to the world that she was awake. To put up with the light was both uncomfortable and stubborn. Settling on the only available course of action, Rarity stretched out a free hoof into the air (slowly and sleepily, in order to add to the illusion), and then let it fall onto her face so that it lay on top of the eye which was being attacked by the daylight. Your move, Universe.

Strictly speaking, the game ended in a tie, because what happened next was not the fault of the Universe. Not that it mattered.

An urgent beeping sounded right next to her ear, the sudden noise forcing her eyes open in panic. Her eyes and ears both filled with information. There was no way of pretending to be asleep now. Taking a moment to lament the continued existence of the world, and all of its obnoxiously bright and noisy contents, Rarity stood up painfully. Awake or not, she was still tired, and that beeping was giving her a headache. Looking around for the source, she saw that the communication spell was patiently waiting for her to access it. Somepony was trying to contact her, at this hour? This had better be important.

[insanityPrelude began narrating to adamantineCorsair]

IP: Hey Rarity!

IP: You awake yet?

AC: It doesn't feel like it...

IP: Well, don't worry, because I'm here to help wake you up!

AC: ... I appreciate the effort, Pinkie, but...

AC: I think I'd like to go back to sleep, actually.

IP: Huh? But you've been asleep for years!

AC: ... what?

IP: Are we talking about the same thing?

AC: Somehow, I doubt it...

IP: OK, well, when you go to sleep, try and wake up!

AC: Urgh... I'm too tired for this, Pinkie.

IP: Good, the more deep your sleep, the more time you'll have to work with.

IP: Just, when you start dreaming, try to become aware of where you are.

IP: Take in your surroundings, and focus on the fact that you're conscious.

AC: So you want me to go to sleep...

AC: And then realise that I'm awake.

IP: No, you'll still be asleep.

IP: But you'll be conscious, while asleep.

AC: I suddenly understand everything.

AC: Except, in reverse.

IP: Heheh, don't worry about it, just try to remember what I said.

AC: Fine. Can I go back to sleep now?

IP: Sure!

AC: Then good night.

IP: *morning

AC: Shush.

[adamantineCorsair stopped listening to insanityPrelude]

Pausing for a moment, Rarity glanced between her bed and the door. On the one hoof, she could go back to sleep. That was a good option. And besides, there was apparently something important that she had to do that she could only do while asleep. Then again, she did have some important orders to fill. She could just head downstairs, make herself some coffee, and get to work. But then, she remembered, within the day a giant meteor was going to destroy Ponyville and everypony in it. She wasn't going to finish her work in a day, so the only sensible option was to not start in the first place and that bed has never looked so comfortable. Her decision made, she got back into bed (first ensuring that the curtains were properly closed). As she gradually lost herself again, her thoughts drifted briefly over what Pinkie had been saying. Go to sleep, and then... wake up? Whatever it had been, it hadn't made any sense and she was tired. Rarity fell asleep.

And then, Rarity woke up.

***

Strange noises from alien birds echoed through the barren forest, adding to the already overwhelming feeling of isolation which Fluttershy was currently experiencing. Since she had appeared in this haunting place, she hadn't had any contact with her friends over the communication spell, and had immediately begun to fear the worst. This was an entirely different universe, if she understood it correctly. It was an act of sheer optimism to hope that the spell would work in the first place, and foolish to believe that it would work for everypony just because it worked for Twilight.

Of course, strictly speaking Fluttershy wasn't entirely alone here. However, keeping herself to herself and staying alone was marginally less frightening than approaching the strange glowing creature which was drifting around in the air outside her house. She had no idea what it was, and decided that it would be a good idea to not find out.

It was amazing how nervous it is possible to get after five minutes alone in a strange place, and Fluttershy nearly jumped out of her skin when the communication spell reopened.

[crespucularMagicant began talking with reticentButterfly]

CM: Hey Fluttershy, did you just enter?

RB: Twilight!

RB: Oh, thank goodness, I thought the spell had stopped working.

RB: I... thought I was alone. :c

CM: Oh Fluttershy, it's only been a few minutes.

CM: I think the spell, and the game, takes a little while to recalibrate after you enter, from what I can tell.

CM: You shouldn't have been so worried.

RB: I know, but it's scary out here by myself.

CM: What about your sprite?

RB: Uh, I don't know... is that the strange glowing thing?

CM: Yeah. It's Angel, right? AJ used him to prototype?

RB: She did what?

CM: I thought you knew. That's how I knew you'd entered, because suddenly the enemies started getting bunny ears.

CM: It's kind of off putting when the enemies are so cute, but never mind that.

RB: I, uh...

RB: I'm not sure how I feel about that.

CM: Just go and talk to him. He'll just be the same old Angel, except now he can talk!

RB: Oh. That's... great?

CM: Well, do whatever you want, but you're effectively house-trapped until AJ builds up to your first gate, so you may as well get to know him and your planet a bit better.

CM: Speaking of, you'll also want to get onto AJ as soon as you can.

RB: OK.

CM: Bye!

[crespucularMagicant stopped talking with reticentButterfly]

Well, it looked like she didn't really have much choice. Exiting her house from the front, Fluttershy walked around the edge to where the floating ghost rabbit was hovering thoughtfully. From this distance he was more clearly recognisable as Angel. As she drew nearer, Fluttershy began to think about what this was going to be like. Angel was adorable, and he always seemed to want what was best for Fluttershy, but he did tend to get a little frustrated at times. Did she really want to know what he had to say about her? What if-

"Hey." Fluttershy jumped back a little, partly because she hadn't realised that Angel had noticed her, and partly because she had not been expecting his voice to be so deep. Yet he looked cute as ever.

"A-angel?" A nod. "You're... uh... you're not dead, are you?" While he was quite clearly capable of conversation, the sprite's ghost-like appearance was worrying her a little.

"Well now, that's a complicated question." Despite the situation, Fluttershy was beginning to find it difficult to not find his voice amusing. Which was terrible, she reprimanded herself, especially as she knew from experience what it felt like to have people find your voice funny. And so she kept quiet. "My life as Angel, a tiny little rabbit who spends his days eating carrots and wishing he could be something incredible, is over."

"Then... what are you now?"

"Now I'm Angel, an awesome sprite who spends his days eating carrots and being incredible in basically every way." Angel(sprite) seemed very proud of this.

"So, uh, are you here to help me?"

"Yeah. That's the deal. I help you through the game, I get awesome sprite powers, and once we're done I get to go free. That's how it works."

"Oh. OK then. So... what should I do now?"

"First things first you've got to arm yourself. Before you can go through that gate up above us, your server player will have to build up your house. And before that, you're going to have to play a little 'King of the Hill', if you know what I mean. Which you don't, but that's not the point."

"Arm myself?"

"Yeah. You know, as in weaponry. This place will be overrun with monsters pretty soon. The good news is that the reason the game sends you loads of monsters is so that you get enough grist to stock up on items and build your house and things like that. The bad news is that you're going to have to kill the monsters, using your currently non-existing weapons."

"K...kill?" That was just a little too much, Fluttershy decided. She didn't agree with Twilight's killing spree on LONAG, but accepted that it was a thing that had to be done. The underlings were literally nothing more than one-dimensional constructs designed to kill, after all. While she might accept that Twilight needed to do what she did, however, doing it herself was something she wouldn't go along with. "I'm sorry, Angel, but... I don't think I can kill anything. And I wouldn't want to." The sprite sighed wearily, as if he had known this was coming. Which, of course, he had.

"I figured you'd have something to say about this. I know you don't like the fact that this game involves violence, but that's just the way it is. You can't back out now, just like you couldn't have backed out before you entered. You have to play the game, whether you want to or not, and that means you're going to have to kill something at some point."

"No." There was a line, and this game had crossed it. It had done more than that, in fact. It had rubbed out the line and replaced it with a conveyor belt that sent an infinite line of cats into a wood chipper. She was not, absolutely NOT going to kill anything. "I'm not killing anything, and that's final." So saying, she walked back into her house, leaving Angelsprite hovering in her garden.

"If you don't kill them..." the rabbit flew upwards, looking down on the surrounding land. Already, waves of enemies could be seen approaching from all directions. Imps, of course, but also some stronger enemies. The starting enemies of each player always outstripped those of the preceding player. "... I'm not sure how long I can stop them from killing you."

***

Amid grand spires of solid gold, a young mare was once again making the journey to Prospit from her home atop its moon. Pinkie Pie loved to explore the enormous golden city, seeing the sights and tasting the food. As a hero of Prospit, the people were more than happy to give their princess anything she desired. While strictly speaking she didn't need to eat, the nature of dreaming on Prospit was that any and all food tasted ridiculously amazing. This was a benefit that Pinkie had taken advantage of on many occasions, and she planned to make today no exception. But first, she had an errand to take care of.

Meanwhile, a Punctual Messenger rushed through the crowded streets, holding on tightly to the purple package. She was dangerously close to being late, and a Punctual Messenger is never late. It goes without saying, really. She supposed that it was only because of her punctuality that she had been assigned such a precise date for delivery, down to the second, but it did mean that she needed to take a few shortcuts if she was to arrive on time. Fortunately for her, the precise time of delivering the package was just one of Skaia's many schemes and plots, a point woven into the timeline in such a way that the success of her efforts was assured. Whether or not this was a good thing remained to be seen.

On Derse, an Artillery Regulator was preparing for his coming mission. It was his responsibility to deal with the Bard, once she arrived, and he had made sure that he was carrying as many weapons as possible. It didn't matter what kind of weird powers she might have. He was pulling out all the stops to make sure that when she died, she would stay dead. Completely. No dumb surprises, no shadow of a doubt. You can't ascend if your body is in fifty separate parts. Probably.

Above the Regulator, a young mare was learning how to wake up without waking up. After going back to sleep in Equestria, Rarity was fairly surprised to find herself in a strange room, at the top of a large purple tower built up from Derse's moon. She didn't normally have dreams, and certainly not ones as real as this. She'd almost think it was real, except that now she could fly for some reason, and somehow breathe in space. Then, she woke up.

Once again waking to the sound of the communication spell, Rarity irritably got back out of bed. On the plus side, she felt much more rested. On the down side, she'd wanted to explore that tower more.

[insanityPrelude began narrating to adamantineCorsair]

IP: Hi Rarity. Nice job with waking up on Derse!

AC: Huh?

IP: I could see your dream self on Derse, looking confused.

IP: You woke up, didn't you? And saw that purple planet?

AC: Oh, right. Yes, but I was dreaming.

IP: You weren't dreaming. You were being your dream self, which is slightly different.

IP: Anyway, this is great! I've been trying to get all of our dream selves awake for ages.

AC: Then why have you only just decided to talk to me about it?

IP: Because I knew it wasn't time. Not until the game started. But now that it has, well...

IP: Something's come up, and I need you to follow my instructions closely.

IP: Your dream self has a very important job to do.

AC: But, I'm not tired any more.

IP: But you're still awake on Derse. Aren't you.

AC: I... am?

IP: Concentrate. Both of your selves are currently awake, but you're only paying attention to your waking self.

IP: While you're being one self, the other just sort of goes on standby, but she's still awake.

AC: Uh...

What was that even supposed to mean? Did she just have to focus on her dream self, on that purple tower? Was there any kind of actual mechanism for switching which self she was currently paying attention to, or - oh, here we go. Once again on Derse, Rarity looked out of the window of her tower, searching for any sign of Pinkie. Didn't she say she could see her? Letting herself flow back into her waking self, Rarity resumed the conversation.

AC: OK, so I can be awake and dreaming at the same time.

AC: That's... useful?

IP: Very useful. Most ponies can't do that, but your powers in particular make you much more suited to manipulation over your own consciousness.

IP: Among other things.

AC: I see. This is all a bit daunting, to be honest.

IP: What's important is, you can receive instructions from me, while moving around on Derse. That's why this is your job...

AC: What is?

IP: OK, well, if you look to the planet beneath the moon that you're currently standing on...

IP: You can see the palace, with the six spires, right?

AC: One moment.

AC: Yes, I see it. Very, very far away.

IP: You have to go down there.

AC: Why?

IP: I can't really say, just that it's very important!

IP: Something which has to happen is about to happen, and you need to be there for it.

AC: ... OK, I'll trust you.

[insanityPrelude stopped narrating to adamantineCorsair]

Back on Derse's moon, Rarity began the long journey down towards the dark planet beneath her. Elsewhere, the scene was mirrored by Pinkie Pie, who was also making her towards a palace, albeit one with a very different colour scheme. The clouds had told her about this, that she was apparently supposed to be going to the palace at this point in time. Why it was so important, and what she could expect to find there, Pinkie didn't know.

Between these two ponies, and their respective planets, the clouds of Skaia churned. The fixed moment was approaching, at which point the state of the game would change drastically. While this wasn't uncommon for the average Sburb session, there was a slight technicality which needed to be taken care of, on both Prospit and Derse. Skaia had long foreseen this task, and had chosen the two heroes that would complete it. Everything was going to plan, if only because the plan required that things went wrong.

***

You have advanced one (1) rung up your echeladder! You achieve the title of 'Bookworm Battlemage' and receive 3500 boondollars!

Gel Viscosity: +60!

Cache Limit: +160!

Youngster Gumption: +20!

Despite the ridiculous amount of killing that her achievements represented, Twilight couldn't help but feel a hint of pride at having climbed so high up her echeladder. The fate of Equestria was on her shoulders and everything, but she was enjoying this game. For the most part.

Spike was trailing behind her. He had learned the hard way that, while he shouldn't stray too far from Twilight while they were exploring, it also wasn't a great idea to stand right next to the quill/sword wielding librarian when she got angry. Which was frequently.

"How are you doing, Spike? Still awake?" Admittedly, the dragon had managed to get some sleep while she had been in the library, and over the past few hours she hadn't needed very much magical fire from him. But you never knew with Spike. Especially when he was nursing multiple cuts along his arm.

"I keep telling you that I'm fine. Do you have to keep checking up on me all the time?" Under any other circumstances, that tone would have called for a time out. But, to be fair, his attitude was deserved. "So when are we heading into Glowmire?"

Glowmire, as Twilight had learned, was once the largest hub of iguana civilisation on the surface of the Land of Night and Glow. The plants had once grown up and out of the lake, and a city had been formed in and around them. It sounded beautiful, according to the history books. However, since the plants had regressed to the Glowmire's current state, Hephaestus' underlings had overrun the remaining area. The iguanas had been forced out, and now it was (apparently) her job to get their city back. Conveniently, as FA had explained to her, the iguanas were incapable of venturing near the Glowmire. The game intended this to be her first real challenge, and it was hers to face alone.

FA, whoever he was, had been 'pestering' Twilight constantly while she had been playing through her quest line, asking for progress reports which would inevitably result in a comment about her lack of skill. Twilight presumed that he was the pony who had appeared in her library when she was messing around with her designix, if only because he certainly fit the description of 'really stupid, really annoying, and really mean for no reason'. Regardless, he wasn't any pony she knew, or wanted to know if this was how he went about making new friends. Twilight suddenly realised that she was in the middle of a conversation with Spike.

"Uh, what? Oh. I mean... now? I guess?" Twilight hadn't really been thinking about actually entering Glowmire. As much as she didn't want to admit it, FA was right. She hadn't been pushing forwards with her main quest as much as she could have been. Maybe it was time to tackle this problem head on. "I mean, it's not going to get any less guarded unless we do something about it. So we should probably - oh, great, why now?" Her plan of action was regrettably cut short, as once again the communication spell reformed itself before her.

[fractalAbomination began pestering crespucularMagicant]

FA: how's it going?

CM: Urgh....

CM: We literally just had this conversation.

CM: Five minutes ago.

FA: it was precisely half an hour ago, and don't even try to argue that

CM: do you have to keep checking up on me all the time?

Behind her, Spike cleared his throat.

FA: well, i would argue that without me here to keep you on track, you'd never get anything done

FA: but you haven't really done anything anyway, so maybe you're a lost cause

CM: Hey! I have been doing stuff. I climbed another rung!

FA: oh, great, that'll come in handy for the harder quests

FA: not that you'll ever get onto them at this rate

CM: Argh!

CM: If you're so great, then what have YOU been doing in YOUR session?

During their conversations, Twilight had learned that FA and his friends were also playing the game, in a different session. Like her session, they also had the constant values of Skaia, Prospit, and Derse. But they had different players, and therefore had different planets and quests. Even though he was apparently much further ahead into his game than she was, he was still a player just like her. He was currently running around completing quests, just like her, so where did he get off acting as though he knew everything? Infuriatingly, though, it seemed that he really did know exactly what he was talking about. Unlike her.

FA: i've been catching frogs

CM: ...

Wait. What?

FA: inb4 "wait. what?", because that seems to be the only reaction anypony ever has to the frog thing:

FA: the frog thing is incredibly serious business

FA: you have no idea how important this is

FA: neither did the moron who was supposed to be in charge of the frog thing

FA: and now, after literally spending DAYS persuading him to just stfu and do his gog damn job

FA: he takes the first chance to leap through a world gate and head off to

FA: idk, i think it was probably LOSAC, but that's not really the point so w/e

FA: the point is that he goes off in search of adventure or some similar bs

FA: leaving me to run around by myself catching all of these frogs

CM: O...K?

FA: no, it's not ok, that's the thing

FA: on a scale of 'ok with this', to 'not ok with this', i am so not ok with this that if the degree to which i'm not ok with this was physically represented by a puppy

FA: i would kick that puppy

FA: in the face

FA: with a sword

CM: :/

FA: so yeah, please do not give me crap about the frog thing not being a 'proper quest', because i have had enough of that from the idiot who was meant to be the one doing the quest

CM: OK, fine, I wasn't going to give you a hard time about it.

CM: And that was more explanation than I will ever want from you, just so you know.

Honestly, Twilight thought to herself, when this guy wasn't yelling at her, he was complaining about his own problems. What was even his deal?

CM: Anyway, if we can please get this back on track...

CM: I was actually just about to enter Glowmire.

FA: really? ok, great, now you-

FA: ... sorry, just let me go take care of a little something

Several fourth and fifth walls to the left, in a different game session, a frog and an unabridged encyclopedia were joined in that most mystical of unions that can only be described as one being smashed in the face by another.

FA: ok, anyway, what was i saying

FA: oh, yeah, well, that's great if you're going to be moving forwards

FA: i mean, for a first gate quest, i really doubt that there's any way you can fail given how high up your ladder you seem to be

FA: so go for it, and then you can tell me how it goes later

CM: OK, sure.

CM: By the way, I know that you're helping me out and everything...

CM: But, and I mean this in the most respectful way possible, but...

CM: There are other ponies in my group who are probably a bit... less suited?

CM: To the whole 'gaming mentality' thing.

FA: less suited than you?

FA: that deserves a fucking medal

CM: :(

FA: but dw about it, we're all helping out your group in between dealing with our own problems

CM: Oh, OK then.

FA: anyway, cya

CM: Bye.

[fractalAbomination ceased pestering crespucularMagicant]

Dismissing the spell, Twilight turned to Spike, who had been patiently waiting behind her.

"Right then, Spike. Glowmire?" She asked. Spike grinned, and nodded in agreement.

"Glowmire."

***

Angel had known, from the moment he had been prototyped, that becoming a sprite had made him powerful. But this, he mused as he finished up the most recent wave of enemies, this was something else. It was beginning to take its toll, though. Fluttershy had outright refused to play the game, and these waves were meant to be a challenge for her with Angel throwing the occasional blow. Still, now they had some time to talk, and plan, and for him to yet again try to convince her to fight. But first, he decided that he should check up on Applejack. She had been hard at work, as he could tell by the large tower spiralling upwards that had once been Fluttershy's cottage.

[angelSprite began talking with obstinateCultivator]

AS: Wow, nice going.

OC: Thank ya. Ah could say the same about that last wave.

AS: Heh.

AS: Seriously though, I'm really worried for Fluttershy. You'll have built up to the first gate soon, and then she'll need to play without my help.

AS: I'm not even meant to be helping as much as I have been.

OC: Maybe ya should talk to her?

AS: I plan to.

AS: How are we for grist?

OC: Well, even if ya weren't getting us so much, that GristTorrent scroll ya used has been keeping the build grist topped up.

AS: Good.

AS: Does Twilight know we've been stealing her grist yet?

OC: We're a team. This is a team game.

OC: It's not stealing if it's for the good of the team.

AS: Quite right.

AS: Well, keep it up!

[angelSprite stopped talking with obstinateCultivator]

Strictly speaking, Angel shouldn't have been helping Fluttershy so directly. He was meant to give her a few subtle hints, point her in the right direction, and then watch as she grew to achieve her place as a hero of Skaia. No worries. He supposed that she was lucky that Applejack had used him to prototype the kernelsprite. He had personal reasons for looking after Fluttershy, in addition to the game enforced reasons. Entering the cottage, he found her where he had left her, busying herself with the role of Twilight's server player. The library was now a colossal structure, stretching miles above the surface of LONAG. It now reached up to Twilight's third gate, not that she'd be needing that for quite some time. Or at all. Angel had the information on how gate progression worked, but for the most part it contradicted itself, or simply didn't offer any explanation whatsoever. The gates, he had deciphered, would take the player to where they damn well needed to be.

"Fluttershy?" Despite a slight jump at the voice behind her, Fluttershy ignored him. As expected. "Fluttershy, we need to deal with this now. When you go through your first gate, I can't follow you. You're going to be on your own, against enemies a lot stronger, and-"

"I'm not going to kill anything." That was that, as far as Fluttershy was concerned. Angel sighed.

"Would you consider just incapacitating the enemies instead?" He suggested brightly. It wasn't ideal, but better than nothing.

"Uh... I don't know."

"OK, think of it this way. By knocking them out, you don't have to kill them. So really, by doing that you're actually sparing them. It's for their own good!"

"Well... I suppose... if I really have to." She still seemed distraught at the idea. "But I don't have anything like that."

"Don't worry, I'll come up with something." Probably.

As Angelsprite left, presumably to talk with Applejack about what she could use as a non-deadly weapon, Fluttershy turned her attention back to the screen in front of her. It was relaxing, building Twilight's house, and it took her mind off of the prospect of killing (or at least incapacitating) the underlings. Even if it wouldn't kill them, she wasn't sure if she could bring herself to attack anything with an aggressive intention. Luckily, she was distracted from these thoughts by the communication spell.

[mushroomAddict began pestering reticentButterfly]

MA: hI

RB: Hello? Who are you?

MA: iM eMBER

RB: Well, hello Ember. I'm Fluttershy.

MA: yEAH THE hERO OF sPACE RIGHT

RB: Hm? I don't know anything about that.

MA: ok WELL ITS NOT HARD TO FIND OUT

MA: dOES YOUR PLANET HAVE FROGS IN IT

MA: sHOULD BE FROGS ALL OVER

RB: I... no, I haven't seen any frogs. Except the ones I brought with me.

MA: hM MAYBE HE GOT IT WRONG THEN

MA: hE SAID YOU WERE THE SPACE PLAYER

MA: nEVER MIND THOUGH

RB: So, Ember, uh...

RB: Did you want to talk about anything?

MA: wELL i JUST GOT TOLD ITS MY JOB TO HELP YOU

MA: sO i GUESS DO YOU NEED ANY HELP IS ALL

RB: Well, I suppose that I could use some advice.

MA: ok WHAT WITH

RB: I think I'm going to be going through my first gate soon, and...

RB: I'll have to fight, won't I?

MA: yEAH YOU SHOULD HAVE TO

RB: I don't really want to fight, or hurt anypony.

MA: wHY

RB: Because it's mean!

MA: uRGH WE SHOULD HAVE EACH OTHERS ROLES THEN

MA: iD HAVE GIVEN ANYTHING TO NOT BE A hERO OF sPACE

MA: so BORING i HAD BARELY ANY ACTION

RB: :c

MA: hA i HATE THAT FACE SO MUCH

RB: Why?

MA: mY FRIEND USES THAT FACE

MA: cOME TO THINK OF IT YOU SHOULD TALK TO HIM INSTEAD

RB: Who?

MA: iLL GO YELL AT HIM FOR YOU

MA: lATER

RB: O... K?

[mushroomAddict ceased pestering reticentButterfly]

Closing the spell, Fluttershy got back to building. Whatever that had been about, she would probably find out soon enough.

***

AS: Good.

AS: Does Twilight know we've been stealing her grist yet?

OC: We're a team. This is a team game.

OC: It's not stealing if it's for the good of the team.

AS: Quite right.

AS: Well, keep it up!

[angelSprite stopped talking with obstinateCultivator]

Keep it up was what Applejack intended to do, as far as she was able. It had been a few hours since Fluttershy entered, so once she passed through her first gate it would be Applejack's turn. Twilight's order had originally placed her before Rainbow Dash, but that had been changed by more immediate concerns. Since Applejack had been Fluttershy's server player instead of Rainbow, she would have to enter first.

Speaking of which, she decided, it would probably be a good idea to take care of a few things around the farm before things got a bit too dangerous. The advantage of entering after a few players have already passed through was that it gave you a better appreciation of what the process involved. As such, Applejack had set herself up in the barn, where Rainbow Dash would have more space to set things up. She had also taken the liberty of trying out her sylladex. It seemed she had a fairly limited number of 6 captchalogue cards, which were arranged in a stack. Each item she picked up was added onto the stack, pushing every stored item one card further back. In this way, she could only access the most recently stored card. Using this item brought all the cards forwards, allowing her to get at the cards stored deeper within the stack. It made sense, just the way she liked it.

What she didn't like so much was the result of attempting to pick up a seventh item. Without any card further back in the stack to be pushed into, the bottom item was instead forcibly ejected from her sylladex. It would then fly through the air at a high speed, usually dealing a fair amount of damage to whatever it hit. She had only experimented with the mechanism while inside the barn, and was astounded by the strength of the walls. At any rate, it seemed to her that there should be a way to make a weapon out of this throwing method, if her timing was right. Applejack was nothing if not prepared for Sburb.

One thing which she still needed to do was to assign her 'strife specibus'. According to Twilight, this meant Applejack would set the class of item that she was capable of using as a weapon, of which one method was to use an example of that item. Now, what could she use? There must be at least one item lying around the farm that she could use as a weapon. Rakes could work, she supposed. Even a shovel would do, but that was hardly the most elegant weapon. Or...

Applejack smiled to herself as she caught sight of the tool in the corner. That could work, she thought to herself. That could work very well.

Chapter 7

View Online

Considering the hype which had led up to this quest, Twilight had to admit that it was a little underwhelming. Glowmire may have been the greatest iguana stronghold on LONAG, but it was clearly not home to the strongest underlings. She had fought her way into the city, defeating countless imps and even climbing a couple of rungs in the process, but it was getting a little repetitive. At least the city itself was impressive. What had initially seemed like a few glowing plants in a lake, in a valley, had actually turned out to be a huge forest of large trees, along which a vast network of buildings and paths had been carved, running along the surface of the trees. Here and there were bridges of some strange material that connected two trees to one another, and sometimes led deeper into the city. And of course, almost everything was glowing a haunting green. Although beneath a certain point Glowmire was entirely flooded, there was still a large area of the city which could be accessed. And to think, before the city had been abandoned, it had also extended high above its current peak. It must have been glorious, Twilight thought, but for now she had to stay focused on the task at hand. Which was fighting imps.

At that moment, as had been the situation multiple times before, she found herself standing on one of the many narrow bridges, battling with a group of imps. As always, it was a group of four Amethyst Imps with one Diamond Imp as a sort of leader. And, as always, her first move had been to change her inscryptor to its quill form. The inscryptor was the weapon she had made by combining a sword with a quill. She had found, after some experimentation, that - while it would always be, to some extent, a mixture of sword and quill - the weapon could change the degree to which it could be called either a sword or a quill, although she always had to think of it as a quill or the strife specibus would reject it. This meant she could use it as a particularly sharp quill, or as what was effectively a normal sword with a large feather instead of a handle, or anything in between.

But her first move against a group of imps like this was to change it into a quill. Then she would throw it at the leader, which killed him instantly because of something the game called a "sneak bonus". After that, she would retrieve the quill, switch it to a more sword based weapon, and then use it to aggress the remaining imps. She was currently at this stage of the battle.

One of the attacking imps lunged towards her, but she simply jumped backwards to avoid it before lunging into it with her quill. Occasional moments of varied behaviour such as that represented the only real challenge; for the most part, this was more an exercise in how long she could keep swinging a quill than it was an epic battle for the city. What she needed, in her opinion, was something a tad more powerful to fight. Some kind of larger, smarter underling. Surely at least one underling a little stronger than an imp would have been sent to watch over such a key strategic position? Without even looking, Twilight flipped the quill around and stabbed it into the imp who was attempting to take her by surprise by leaping towards her from behind. He promptly exploded into a few units of build grist and amethyst, which fell directly into Twilight because of the momentum from the jump. Yawn.

The group defeated, Twilight stopped for a moment to get her bearings. Behind her were the trees that she had already cleared of imps and in front of her the path took her further into the city. In the depths, apparently, she would find a machine capable of restoring the Glowmire to a more hospitable state, and it was to that machine that she was making her way through the endless waves of imps. Speaking of which, she could see more imps approaching. She once again readied her quill, but halfway to her they stopped and turned to run back the way they had come. Twilight felt a little confused. Surely they weren't only just learning that she was dangerous, so why the sudden fear? She felt a light tap on her shoulder, followed by the voice of a terrified dragon.

"Uh... Twilight? I... uh... that..." Whatever Spike was trying to tell her about, it was apparently behind her judging by his outstretched finger.

"What is it?" She asked, before Spike's answer was cut off by a horrific screech. With a growing sense of dread, Twilight turned around. Rapidly approaching her was a very large, very angry lizard (although the rabbit ears detracted from the terror somewhat) that the small label above its head referred to as an 'Amethyst Basilisk', which was scrambling over the narrow walkways connecting the trees to reach her. More could be seen, or at least heard, deeper within the city. Despite herself, Twilight grinned. A challenge she had asked for, and a challenge she had been given. "Spike? You may want to stand back for this."

For an enemy like this, Twilight wasn't going to just run in and start slashing. She was a unicorn, after all, and wasn't limited to what was in her strife deck. Concentrating on the walkway the basilisk was currently running across, she smiled grimly as she felt the multiple cracks and breaks in its surface. This was a dying city, after all. Lashing out with her magic, she pushed energy into the cracks, expanding them, until the entire bridge gave way. Not hesitating for a moment, Twilight began sprinting back towards the basilisk. As the path beneath it gave out, the creature leapt desperately towards the edge of the next tree that it had been running towards, barely managing to cling onto the nearest branch. Behind it, the path that had once connected the two trees it had been running between collapsed, the pieces falling the great distance to the icy water below. The basilisk quickly began to scrabble up, trying to lift itself onto the branch, but before it could get a proper footing Twilight was there. Switching her weapon as close to a sword as it could go, she swung the inscryptor just as the creature brought its head up above the branch. Caught off guard, it hissed in pain as the blade was buried into its skull, and its claws released their grip on the branch.

Twilight watched impassively as the basilisk fell down to the depths below, the impact finishing it off, whatever grist it may have dropped consigned to be left in the water forever. That had been... she searched her mind for the right word. Impressive? Terrifying? She felt a little scared of herself after dealing with the basilisk so efficiently, and a little disgusted with herself that her first thought was that she couldn't get at the grist. What was this game doing to her, when she could react so casually to the idea of killing?

She could philosophise later, however. The other basilisks were approaching. While the first one had exclusively taken on Fluttershy's prototyping, the others had Owlsprite's wings. They wouldn't be so easy to take down. Twilight readied her quill.

***

[fractalAbomination began pestering reticentButterfly]

FA: hello?

RB: Uh, hi?

RB: Who's this?

FA: this is a friend, who was told by an acquaintance that you may or may not be having doubts about fighting

RB: Oh, right, he did say he was going to talk to you.

FA: yeah. that's because his purpose in life

FA: is to make his jobs into my jobs

FA: but w/e, that's not your problem. your problem is that you don't want to fight the creatures which are specifically designed to kill you

RB: I know that they're trying to kill me! And I know that it's important for this game, and we need to... kill them.

RB: But I can't do it. I can't kill anything.

FA: hrm. have you considered just knocking them out?

RB: Well, Angel said he was going to try and think of ways that I could do that...

RB: But I'm still not sure if I could attack anything.

FA: not even in self-defence?

RB: I... don't know. :c

FA: i don't suppose you have any kind of psychic ability?

RB: Uh... what?

FA: ok, i'll take that as a 'no'

FA: one moment

While Fluttershy waited, she continued to build up Twilight's house. It was very relaxing. Soon she'd have built all the way up to the seventh gate, and then she'd have to find something else to do. Or maybe she could start building outwards, just for something to do. Either that, or maybe she would have to start playing the game. Applejack had built up to Fluttershy's first gate, so she couldn't put it off forever. That didn't mean she'd accepted it, though. She wasn't as strong as Twilight, and she didn't want to be. She just wanted to go back to Ponyville, and carry on living her quiet little life. She'd been happy, before this game.

FA: IiI9Km34

FA: type that into your designix, punch a card with it, and make it

FA: it costs 2999 build, 349 diamond, and probably about 2670 granite, which you should be able to afford

RB: What... what does it make?

FA: oh no, i can't tell you that

FA: it'd ruin the surprise!

FA: anyway, whether you use it or not is your own business

FA: but if you do, then... yw i guess c:

[fractalAbomination ceased pestering reticentButterfly]

Well, Fluttershy thought, there was no sense in not at least trying the code. Taking another cruxite dowel from the cruxtruder, she made her way to the punch designix. The GristTorrent spell that Angelsprite (and Owlsprite on LONAG) had used was redistributing all grist that either player collected, so that their total grist was fairly evenly split up between them. Thanks to Twilight, Fluttershy had more than enough diamond, and the underlings of her planet were dropping granite, so she had more than enough to make the mystery item - whatever it was.

You make the CAN'T TOUCH THIS!

Closing the game message which popped open in front of her, Fluttershy studied the item she had created. It seemed to be a full suit of metal armour, with no strange patterns or magic auras. She was unsure just how useful this would really be, and was contemplating whether it was even worth attempting to put it on, when Angelsprite appeared behind her.

"How did you make that?" He sounded interested, if only because this presented a simpler alternative to finding a non-lethal weapon for Fluttershy to use.

"Uh... this other pony gave me the code..." Now that she said it out loud, the less reliable her source seemed. How did she know that this would actually help? This did just look like a simple set of armour, after all. Apparently Angelsprite sensed her concerns, or shared them, as he picked up a chair and tossed it towards the suit of armour. Rather than knocking into it, however, the chair passed straight through it and out the other side, not so much as unbalancing the armour. "Oh... wow." Angelsprite whistled in appreciation.

"Now that is cool. If you wore that, you'd probably be fine from most attacks as long as you didn't do anything silly. And obviously there are the mobility issues with moving around wearing a suit of armour. But..." He shrugged. "It's your call, to be honest. You won't have to do any fighting if you wear this. It's just that, should you need to, you won't be able to do any running." While he said this, he amused himself by throwing a few more pieces of furniture through the armour. Fluttershy considered her options. She wasn't going to do any fighting, and that was the end of the matter. This seemed like her best option.

"Well, OK then. And it means I won't have to do any fighting, so... I guess I'll do that." It was a solution, she supposed. She didn't need to hurt anything, and practically nothing could hurt her. Simple.

***

Back in Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack was preparing to enter the game. Her brother had probably gotten the others to safety by now, so there was no point in delaying it any longer.

[obstinateCultivator began talking with prismaticAscension]

OC: Dash?

OC: Are ya ready yet?

PA: Oh, right, sorry AJ. I was just taking care of a few things.

OC: Well Ah don't mean to rush ya, but it's been a while since 'Shy entered.

OC: The next meteor can't be too far away.

PA: Right, sure, let's get this started.

On the other side of Ponyville, in her house, Rainbow Dash activated her server scroll, and left it to set up the game while she turned back to the matter at hand. To cut a long and tedious story short, Rainbow had learnt the hard way that it was a bad idea to use a lancekind strife specibus inside. Especially when the inside was made out of clouds. Fortunately she hadn't gotten too carried away, and had reacted fast enough to patch up the walls before her whole house collapsed. On an unrelated note, she now found herself without a floor.

Redistributing what little cloud she had to work with, Rainbow carefully made as large a floor as she could without spreading it too thinly. Several holes remained, but it would have to do for now. She returned to her conversation with Applejack.

PA: OK, so, what am I doing?

OC: First off ya need to deploy all of the free items from the phernalia thingy.

PA: Uh...

PA: Oh, right, got it.

OC: Preferably starting with the cruxtruder.

PA: Sure, here you go.

As her server player experienced the onset of a sudden drought of good ideas, Applejack leapt to the side just before she was crushed by the cruxtruder, which crashed heavily onto the ground behind her.

OC: Are ya trying to kill me!?

PA: Sorry!

PA: I'm not sure I really understand these controls.

OC: Dash. Ya tell it what to do, and it does it.

PA: OK, fine, stop complaining!

PA: What next?

OC: Next, ya go and put the other machines somewhere else.

OC: Ah'll take care of the cruxtruder.

Tossing the barrel of apples she had ready for the task cruxtruder-ward, Applejack smiled in satisfaction as the lid popped off of the machine. An orange kernelsprite emerged, as she had expected, and the timer on the side of the cruxtruder lit up, as she had expected. What she hadn't expected was what it displayed.

6:07:46

OC: Wait, Dash, something's wrong.

PA: Huh? What?

OC: Ah've got six hours to get into the game.

PA: So?

OC: So, the meteors are meant to be falling one after the other, at fairly even points in time.

OC: This should be closer to eight minutes or so.

PA: Wait, so we've got six hours to save your life rather than eight minutes, and you're complaining?

OC: Ah'm suspicious is what Ah am.

OC: Because this amount of time would sound about right if there was another meteor due before mine.

PA: So what are you saying?

OC: Ah don't know. But...

OC: Something seems off.

PA: Yawn.

PA: Whatever, let's just keep going!

OC: Yeah, OK.

***

In the depths of Derse, an Artillery Regulator checked his watch. Twelve more hours. Twelve hours before his ship left for the Bard's planet. It was currently late at night on Derse - not that night has any real meaning on the planet - and most people were asleep. Especially people who had important jobs to do the next day, he reminded himself as he stood alone on a street corner, a cold wind blowing against him. But he couldn't go to sleep, not yet. He felt almost obligated to stay up until his package was delivered. It was only right. And it was only a bit longer than five minutes away, which was a much more reasonable length of time to stay awake for.

Any amount of time alone on Derse at night was boring, though. At times like this, with no one around, the planet really seemed dead. Or maybe he was just philosophising again. Regardless, there was literally no one out here except for him. Oh, and that flying pony.

Wait, what?

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, the regulator looked up in shock at the aerial equine. A pure white unicorn, wearing a purple dress. He narrowed his eyes in the realisation of just who this was. Once of the princesses. Ordinarily it would be against the rules to attack a hero of Derse. But things were different now that she had left her tower.

The pony drifted through the air, apparently making her way towards the palace. Readying his weapon, the regulator pursued.

***

When a Punctual Messenger is given a package, a place, and a time, she will do anything in her power to get that package to that place at that time. This one in particular didn't know what the purple package was, who it was from, or that she was unwittingly committing treason by delivering it. All she knew was that she was going to deliver this package, and she was going to deliver it with a gog damn smile on her face.

The streets of Prospit rushed past, the messenger weaved in and out of the crowds, and the package didn't do anything. It was just a package, after all, and the clock was ticking on its delivery. Not stopping, the messenger reached a hand into her pocket and retrieved her watch.

Five minutes.

***

Climbing the echeladder, in addition to increasing the amount of grist she could carry and the amount of damage she could deal, also seemed to increase Twilight's knowledge of using her weapons. This came in useful. Pulling back with her magic, she swept the inscryptor in an arc above her, dragging it across the length of the basilisk which was currently leaping over her head. It then turned into grist before it even hit the ground, which Twilight quickly gathered. This struck her as a good place to take a break, or at least as good a place as any. This decision was inspired partly by the interruption of a certain mysterious pony.

[fractalAbomination began pestering crespucularMagicant]

FA: hey, how's it going?

CM: It's going fine.

CM: I'm practically at the final chamber, where I should find the machine.

CM: And then the iguanas will have their city back!

FA: and more importantly

FA: you'll have a fuckton of grist and boonbucks

FA: don't forget your priorities here

CM: So you keep reminding me. But it's a nice feeling, that I'm helping them.

FA: yeah, sweet

FA: even though they're game constructs which are just copied and pasted into an infinite number of planets in an infinite number of sessions

FA: who are going to be deleted once all your players leave the game session

FA: they still matter, really

CM: They do! And it's horrible to think that they're just a way to get you further into the game. They have thoughts and feelings.

FA: it's a grey area

FA: to what extent does a computer have feelings?

CM: A what now?

FA: ... nm.

FA: anyway, glad to hear it's going well

CM: It is!

FA: i just thought i'd check, your next player should be coming in soon, right?

CM: Yeah, Rainbow.

CM: Oh, wait, I mean Applejack.

CM: It was going to be Rainbow, but then shenanigans happened, and now it's Applejack.

FA: wait

FA: you're going against the intended player order?

CM: Well I don't know about it being intended or anything. We just set up an order, started playing, and then we changed the order.

FA: are you seriously not seeing why this is a problem

FA: there are real life meteors heading towards your real life houses

FA: and it just so happens that the meteors are timed so that they will hit those houses one after another

FA: in the order that the players are entering

FA: isn't that just a crazy coincidence?

CM: Wait, so you're saying that the player order we chose originally and then decided not to act upon is the 'proper' order? We could have chosen any original order!

CM: The way I understand it is, us entering the game causes the meteors which originally threatened us.

CM: Which means that surely the meteor order will be dictated by the order we ACTUALLY join, not the order we thought we were going to join in but then changed our minds.

FA: well i don't even know, because my group was so much more organised

FA: you never know with paradox space, it's tricky

FA: on the one hand, you should be fine because of the reasons you stated

FA: on the other hand, maybe the meteor order is wrong because it was MEANT to be wrong. maybe some key aspect of your session only happens if the player order and the meteor order are wrong

FA: which is to say that there is a chance that things have gone wrong, because they were always meant to go wrong

FA: in which case, what's her name, Mirage Sprint or whatever

CM: Rainbow Dash.

FA: i said whatever. the point is, she could be in trouble

CM: Oh. Well, I'll check, but I still think I'm right.

FA: what else is knew

FA: anyway i'll ttyl, let me know how things work out

CM: Sure.

[fractalAbomination ceased pestering crespucularMagicant]

Well, it wouldn't hurt to just quickly mention to Rainbow that she might be in trouble, Twilight thought. It wasn't as if she wouldn't be able to enter in however long she had left, as long as she got Pinkie or Rarity to connect to her quickly.

***

OC: Ah don't know Dash, this is still bugging me.

OC: 6:04:10, Ah mean, that's not even marginally risky.

PA: And I told you to stop fussing already.

PA: It's getting really hot and I want to go have a lie down, so let's just hurry this up.

OC: It's not that hot. No more than usual.

PA: Well hot air rises, you know. Besides, it's always too hot.

OC: Ya mean ya always want to have a lie down.

PA: Because it's hot.

OC: Heh.

[crespucularMagicant joined conversation]

CM: Applejack, Rainbow!

OC: Oh, hey Twilight.

PA: Wait a minute, how come you can just push into our conversations like that?

PA: Can we do that?

CM: No, it's just because my spell is the one that manages all the others, so it can patch me into any existing conversation.

CM: Anyway, that's not the point!

CM: Is there anything strange going on? Anything at all?

OC: Yes.

PA: No.

CM: ...

OC: Yes, there is. According to this here timer, Ah've got 6 hours. And that strikes me as a bit odd.

PA: And complaining about it strikes me as a bit stupid.

CM: Oh gog, he was right...

OC: Who?

CM: Never mind that now! Rainbow! Go outside and look up!

PA: What?

CM: Do it!

PA: Urgh, fine.

PA: Be right back...

Grumbling to herself, Rainbow made her way out of her house. Stupid lousy egghead, bossing her around as if she knew everything. Even though she did, it was the principle. And this heat wasn't helping matters. Rainbow found it very hard not to get irritable when it was too hot. And it was too hot, not to mention that OH GOG WHAT IS THAT DOING THERE. Despite the temperature, Rainbow found herself frozen to the spot as she stared up at the meteor falling towards her.

PA: FUCK.

OC: :O

OC: Rainbow Dash!

CM: Oh great. That pretty much confirms what I was dreading...

CM: Applejack, what's the exact display?

OC: Uh, it's 6:03:41 right now.

CM: OK, well, that's probably doable. Just.

CM: Rainbow, go and talk to Pinkie right now.

PA: It's...

PA: It's too close.

CM: Rainbow, listen, you can make it. You have just shy of 5 minutes, after all.

OC: Will somepony tell me what's going on?

CM: Well, we changed the player order around, right? It was originally going to be Rainbow entering right now instead of you.

CM: And that's the order it was meant to be, because Rainbow's meteor is next. As in, four minutes away.

CM: There's no time to explain why, but that's just how it is.

CM: Now, Rainbow, get to Pinkie. Now.

PA: I...

PA: That's...

CM: Oh for goodness sake. Applejack, you go and talk to Pinkie.

OC: OK.

[obstinateCultivator left conversation]

***

In Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie continued to sleep. She had been slept through the entire morning, and showed no signs of getting up. Whether she wanted or not, though, she would get up very soon. But not as soon as you'd think.

Back at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack was just about to begin talking to Pinkie.

[insanityPrelude began narrating to obstinateCultivator]

IP: Hi Applejack!

OC: Oh, hey Pinkie. Ah was just about to talk to ya myself.

IP: I know, but I can't let you.

IP: That's why I'm talking to you now, so that you can't talk to me.

OC: ... er... what?

IP: This isn't Pinkie from right then. Or right now, from your point of view.

IP: This is Pinkie from the future!

OC: Pinkie...

IP: I know what it sounds like, but I really really really can't explain.

IP: Or even give any indication of where I am!

OC: Why?

IP: I can't even tell you that.

IP: All I can tell you is that past me is having a very important nap.

IP: You cannot, and I repeat, CANNOT wake me up.

OC: Can ya tell me why not?

IP: Because past me is being my dream self. You don't know about those yet, but trust me that they're a real thing.

IP: And she has an important job to do.

IP: But I think you should definitely talk to Rarity instead!

OC: But the next one in the player chain is ya.

OC: If Rarity connects to Rainbow, then this whole mess will just get even more complicated.

IP: It's OK, really! Oh, and Applejack.

IP: I should tell you this while I still have the opportunity to say things to you guys like this.

OC: What is it?

IP: Considering how things will turn out...

IP: You guys did your best.

IP: You really did.

[insanityPrelude stopped narrating to obstinateCultivator]

Well that was ominous. On any other day, Applejack would have put that down to more Pinkie Pie craziness. But something made her trust her friend's future self. So Rarity was the only remaining option.

[obstinateCultivator began talking with adamantineCorsair]

OC: Hey Rarity.

OC: Wake up. NOW.

AC: Whuh? But-

AC: Oh gog.

Behind her, her cruxtruder ticked away to itself. 4:02:46

***

Arriving at the base of the Prospitan palace, Pinkie Pie looked around from her position beneath the third spire. This was where the clouds had told her she needed to be. Now the only thing to do was to figure out why. It could be anything, really. Maybe-

Whatever humorously whimsical thought she was contemplating, it was forced out of her mind by the appearance of a purple package in front of her face. Attached to the package was a rather out of breath Punctual Messenger. Or maybe it was the other way around. It was hard to tell when you were asleep.

Regardless, the messenger seemed very insistent that Pinkie took the package, so she did. Without waiting for any kind of payment, the messenger nodded and ran back into the crowded streets. Presumably there were other packages that needed delivering.

Pinkie considered the package. It was a fairly large purple box, devoid of any markings save for a note attached to it featuring a rather crude rendition of the pink pony. Not that you could tell she was pink from the drawing, which was drawn in a thick black ink.

It was clearly addressed to her, though, so Pinkie decided the only thing to do was to open it. While we leave her to do that, let's look at what was happening a few minutes earlier, on a different planet entirely.

***

Arriving at the foot of the palace, Rarity found herself looking up at the nearest of the six large spires. Another lay behind hit, and there were two more to the left and to the right. The white spheres on top of the spires were plain and unblemished, except for the two to her left. The nearest bore the image of an owl, and the other a rabbit. If Rarity had been paying any attention to the entrances of Twilight and Fluttershy, she may have appreciated the significance of this, but for most of the time she had been sleeping. So instead she simply stood there, glancing around for any sign of what the thing which 'had to happen' was.

A short distance away, having followed her through the night, the Artillery Regulator prepared his weapon. Under ordinary circumstances he would never dream of using explosive devices in a populated area of Derse, and certainly not this close to the palace. Yet the death of a princess would more than make up for it, he was sure. She had finally stopped in front of the towers, so he had a clear shot. Unless she moved out of the way. Luckily he was a little too excited and far too stupid to consider that. Unluckily, he didn't need to. He took aim.

A faint beeping noise called Rarity back to Equestria, and her dream self was left looking fairly disoriented at the base of the spires while she began concentrating on her waking self.

[insanityPrelude began narrating to adamantineCorsair]

IP: Great, you made it.

AC: So I did. Now, what's happening that's so important?

IP: Oh, you'll see.

IP: And, Rarity?

AC: Yes?

IP: The me you're talking to is from the future, as far as you're concerned.

AC: Uh...

IP: Which means that what happens next is not past me's fault.

IP: So don't be mad at her. She'll be just as scared and confused as you.

AC: I'm getting a terrible feeling about this.

IP: Oh, it's not really anything to get upset about. But, for the record, even though it had to happen one way or another...

IP: I'm sorry.

AC: Sorry for what?

[insanityPrelude stopped narrating to adamantineCorsair]

Well that was ominous. On any other day, Rarity would have put that down to more Pinkie Pie craziness. But something made her trust what Pinkie was saying. Which meant something bad was about to happen involving her dream self?

Quickly shifting her attention over to Derse, Rarity looked around in worry and fear. Yet the scene remained unchanged. The streets were empty, the night was quiet. There was literally no one out here except for her. Oh, and that strange man over there with the rocket launcher.

Wait, what?

Another series of beeping noises surrounded her as her consciousness was shoved rather forcibly back into her waking self, barely allowing her time to acknowledge the missile as it was released from the weapon and began flying towards her.

[obstinateCultivator began talking with adamantineCorsair]

OC: Hey Rarity.

OC: Wake up. NOW.

"Whuh? But-" The unnatural feeling of switching so rapidly between two very distinct halves of her psyche left Rarity's mind swimming in confusion. She tried to focus on where she was. She was in her room, in Carousel Boutique, being yelled at by Applejack. She was also on Derse, with a surprised look on her face, staring straight at the missile which had been launched towards her. "Oh gog."

The problem with having a dream and a waking self fully aware at the same time is that they both experience the same emotions, and the same physical sensations.

And her dream self was getting hit in the face by a rocket.

***

On both Prospit and Derse, roughly the same thing happened at the exact same time. On Prospit, a princess unwittingly triggered an explosive at the base of the third spire. On Derse, a different princess was the unwilling victim of a missile, and was engulfed by the explosion at the base of the third spire. Both princesses were killed, both planets shook, and both spires slowly began to crumble.

***

PA: Twilight, I trust you and everything.

PA: But by your logic, I've got less than 2 minutes and nopony's answered.

CM: OK, though I hate to admit it, I seriously doubt you'll get in on time.

CM: So now, I guess my advice is to get out while you still can.

PA: Yeah, OK.

CM: Hurry!

Rainbow didn't need telling twice. Flying straight through the wall (it was falling down anyway, she reasoned. and also it was about to get destroyed by a meteor), Rainbow shot out of her house and kept flying until she was at the other end of Ponyville. Only then did she turn around to watch the meteor as it descended towards her house.

PA: Wow. That's really close.

PA: I'm glad I got out.

CM: Yeah. Speaking of which, after a near death experience like that, you should probably rest for a while.

PA: Yawn. I'm fine.

CM: Well, maybe, but what about Tank? I'd imagine he's completely worn out after all of that excitement.

PA: Wait...

PA: Oh man.

CM: What?

CM: Oh... oh dear.

PA: Do you happen to know how long I've got?

CM: I'd say a little over a minute?

CM: You're not going to do something stupid, are you?

PA: Of course I am.

She was already flying back to her house at full speed.

CM: You're going to get killed!

PA: Eh, I'ma risk it.

CM: >:(

***

The two spires had been severely weakened by the explosion, and now their lower sections were incapable of supporting their own weight. The spires began to tilt to one side.

***

Barely slowing down enough to stop herself from flying straight through her house, Rainbow dashed through her house to where she remembered leaving Tank.

"Tank! Where are you?" She didn't know what she was expecting, if she was being honest. Turtles (tortoises) were pretty cool and all, but they didn't make much noise.

CM: You've got about 30-35 seconds, ish.

CM: I can't say exactly because I can't see what's happening.

CM: All I know is that you have to get out of there. Now.

PA: Twilight, the more you talk to me, the longer this will take.

CM: Argh!

Rushing up her stairs, the pegasus let out a sigh of relief to find her pet right where she had left him. He seemed fine, if a little disconcerted.

"There you are!" Picking him up, but taking care to not captchalogue him (so far she had captchalogued several items, and had no idea how to retrieve them), Rainbow quickly flew over to the nearest hole in the wall.

CM: I wouldn't give you more than 20 seconds left.

CM: GET GOING ALREADY.

And then the meteor exploded.

***

At that exact moment, the third spires of Prospit and Derse completed their descent - crashing into their respective sixth spires. On each planet, the orbs of the two spires collided.

***

[obstinateCultivator began talking with prismaticAscension]

OC: Dash?

OC: Dash, please say something.

OC: Dash!?

PA: oh...

PA: hey aj...

OC: You're alive!

PA: yeah...

PA: i think so anyway...

OC: Where are ya?

PA: not sure...

PA: i cant have fallen far from my house...

PA: not that i have a house any more...

OC: OK, Ah'm coming to look for ya, so don't y'all go and make things worse by trying to move, ya got that?

PA: yeah ok...

PA: just...

PA: hurry

[prismaticAscension stopped talking with obstinateCultivator]

***END OF ACT 1***

Chapter 8

View Online

I apologise for leaving the story hanging at such a critical moment, but there is something I have to take care of which I can no longer ignore. I believe I have located our missing party pony, and I think it would be best if I retrieved her before she meddles with our story any further. Who knows what kind of damage she could do?

I will be right back. While you wait here, feel free to take a look through these notes here. They're on a completely different session of Sburb, entirely separate from the one led by Twilight Sparkle. I will go and track down Pinkie Pie as quickly as possible, and in the meantime I suppose you can entertain yourself with this other session. Think of this as an intermission, of sorts. Please rest assured that any relationship between our story and this session is highly unlikely, but at least you can enjoy it for what it is - a fascinating case study of a fairly standard game of Sburb.

***BEGIN INTERMISSION***

In Canterlot castle, a princess lay in her throne room with a weary expression born from a reign spanning centuries. Or maybe it was just because it was a Tuesday. Celestia was not a fan of Tuesdays, and hadn't been for as long as she cared to remember. This was a very long time. In the quiet, her ears twitched as the sound of hoofsteps echoed across the hallway. Turning, but not rising, she was greeted by her sister. Luna's face seemed content, but when she spoke her voice betrayed her anxiety.

"It's time, isn't it?" She nodded to the open doors of the castle, through which the sun was beginning to scrape the edge of the far off hills. "It's tonight?" It wasn't really a question - they both knew very well that tonight was the night. The night that the meteors would begin and Equestria would soon be devastated beyond recognition. The night that everything would be made better. Luna was just trying to make conversation, so Celestia nodded after pretending to think for a moment.

"Yes, it is. Tonight our saviours will begin their quest. And then I fear that our existence will become something of a moot point." She paused, considering what she wanted to say. "Luna, did you ever consider visiting them? Before it was too late, I mean. Just to... I don't know. Get some closure?" Her sister shrugged.

"Not really. We can't say it didn't occur to us that we could, but... you know how he always was about that kind of thing." Even after so many years had dulled the pain, the memory to which Luna was referring caused both sisters to share a moment of contemplation. "And even if we had, what would it have achieved? They don't have a clue what's going on."

"You're right. It's for the best that we don't get involved any further." She sighed, and slowly got to her feet. "Well, it's time for my walk, in case you wanted to join me." Luna smiled and nodded.

"Sure."

Together, the sisters exited the palace, and began their lap of the grounds. Canterlot had greatly expanded in recent years, covering most of the mountain, but the palace and its surrounding area had been untouched. It was getting harder to keep progress back, however, and the other political leaders were beginning to question the value of sentimentality over economising space. Of course, it wasn't as if they could do anything against Celestia and Luna's will, but a happy government was a strong government. Not that it would really mean anything after the entire planet was ground into dust anyway.

Above the sisters, several large meteors were nearing the end of their journey. One, particularly close by, was near enough directly above them. Behind this, barely visible at such a great distance, many more could be seen approaching.

It was going to be a long night.

***

[desertedDestiny began pestering fractalAbomination]

DD: Hey.

FA: oh hi, what's up?

DD: I was just making sure that this game is still happening tonight?

FA: yeah, it's still on if you're up for it

DD: I suppose. It'll be a nice distraction.

FA: from what?

FA: oh, right. nm then

FA: ok, moving on, do you have it installed yet?

FA: because i'm ready when you are

DD: No, I suppose I should start that up now...

FA: you haven't even started it yet?

DD: Not yet.

FA: fuck! :c

FA: that thing takes forever. not even joking

DD: That's hardly my fault, is it?

DD: You should have told me that it would take so long.

FA: and deprive you of the chance to bitch at me like this?

FA: even i'm not that cruel

DD: :/

FA: whatever, just start it up and leave it for a little bit

FA: and then give me a shout once it's set up

DD: OK. Also...

FA: yeah?

DD: You may have some trouble persuading Summer to play.

FA: yeah, i know. i'll have to deal with her sooner or later

FA: but to be honest it's not an encounter i'm looking forward to

FA: i'll probably put it off as long as i can manage

DD: Heh.

DD: Cya then.

FA: yeah, ok bye

[desertedDestiny ceased pestering fractalAbomination]

A young unicorn stands in his bedroom, at the top of his house in Canterlot. It just so happens that today is his birthday, and to celebrate his parents have decided to organise a holiday to Fillydelphia. For two. Somepony had to stay behind to look after the lizards, after all.

Around his room is evidence of his various interests. Among these interests is his love of mathematics, even though he isn't as good as he thinks he should be. He also enjoys messing around with computers, and likes to think of himself as being a fairly competent computer programmer. He often spends his time writing page after page of code. None of his projects are finished, and very few would do anything meaningful if they were, but he doesn't care. It makes him look smart, which is of course the main goal.

Speaking of computers, he is also a fan of computer games, and is planning on playing one later tonight with several of his friends. All of his friends are ponies he has met online, and he has never actually met any of them in real life. They generally think of him as being a bit tiresome, as he has a tendency to rant about every little thing. Online, he goes by the name of fractalAbomination. But what is his real name?

It's Comet. That should save us the trouble of suggesting some ridiculous or insulting name for this unfortunate colt, so let's accept that and move on. We have a lot of ground yet to cover, and the less time this narrative spends emulating the format of some other, much more popular story, the sooner we'll get to the good bit when the Prince enters. So let's just sit back and watch as Comet amuses himself by talking to one of his friends.

[fractalAbomination began pestering psychoticDeceiver]

FA: yo yo yo, what's up?

FA: C:

PD: We both know you only talk like that to annoy me, and that youre perfectly capable of intelligent conversation.

FA: we also both know that you only want to have intelligent conversation to make yourself feel better about how stupid you are

FA: whereas i am perfectly happy with my intellect, such as it is

FA: ie smarter than you, btw

PD: What do you want?

FA: des is being uncooperatively slow, so i may as well take the opportunity to check up on everypony else who's playing

FA: so are you ready to play yet or what

PD: Oh, right, that game.

PD: Its installing as we speak.

FA: ok, good. once me and des link up, you'll connect to her, k?

PD: So youve explained. But I still dont get what the whole player order thing really means.

FA: me neither, i just know that we need one

FA: this is information i have gathered through my various...

FA: shenanigans

PD: Ah, yes, your shenanigans.

FA: hell yeah

FA: i have just so many shenanigans going on right now, you have no idea

PD: Do you have all of the shenanigans?

FA: no. i have all but one of the shenanigans.

FA: that one remaining shenanigan is this game, because this game is nothing if not one huge shenanigan

FA: according to my shenanigans, anyway

PD: The word shenanigans has lost all meaning.

FA: yeah, it really has

FA: but idc, i like the way it sounds

PD: Meh.

FA: anyway, ttyl

FA: i gtg feed the lizards

PD: Fine.

[fractalAbomination ceased pestering psychoticDeceiver]

Closing the chat client down and stepping away from his computer, Comet turned and exited his room and descended the stairs to the area below. The large room was more or less entirely infested with examples of the worryingly vast collection of small lizards that his parents insisted on keeping. Part of him suspected they didn't even like lizards, and simply filled their house with them in an attempt to persuade him to move out. The things were everywhere, to the extent that Comet had taken the precaution of applying wards to his room in order to keep away the invaders. Everywhere else in the house, however, the lizards were free to roam. It had occurred to him more than once that the lizards really shouldn't be able to survive up in the mountains, but annoyingly they persisted. All he really knew was that they were stupid and he hated them. Yet for some reason, here he was feeding the damn things.

Finishing his task, he quickly retreated back up the stairs to get away from the feasting reptiles. Passing his room, he decided to continue upwards, to where the stairs opened out onto the roof of his house. From here, he could see across much of Equestria. A small cluster of lights in the distance signified New Ponyville, and far to the east the edge of Manehattan was creeping past the edge of the mountain and into his view. Beyond that, geography was not Comet's strong point. He vaguely remembered something about a forest being where New Ponyville was situated, but beyond that he didn't have a clue where anything was. Regardless, the view of the land was not what he had come to see. Turning his eyes skyward, he once again took in the alarming sight of the huge meteor that was at that moment just a small red dot in the night sky - although easily larger than it had been the night before. He had been aware of this meteor - and others further away - for some time, and had been able to pinpoint when and where it would strike. Specifically, his house, right around when he had been planning to play the game with his friends. There weren't many things Comet believed in, but one thing he did believe in was not believing in coincidences.

And then Destiny stopped being Comet just in time for Comet to start being Destiny.

***

DD: Heh.

DD: Cya then.

FA: yeah, ok bye

[desertedDestiny ceased pestering fractalAbomination]

A young filly stands in her room. She lives in Cloudsdale. If, after that, you needed to be told that she was a pegasus, then she really does not have time to put up with you. She's far too busy being kind of a big deal. But what could that deal be?

Let's find out.

Her name is Destiny. She has many interests, all of which are Neighpon. Ever since learning about this far off land, she has basically fallen in love with every single thing about it. It is just... SO COOL. She is particularly fond of animations originating from the country, and woe betide any who would even think of suggesting that these animations are anything short of deadly fucking serious. And if someone were inclined to make such a comment, the manner in which we would betide them would probably take the form of a katana. Katanas are also deadly fucking serious, not to mention incredibly sharp. It's also kind of tricky to hold them with hooves, but she thinks that she's got it figured out. Finally.

When she isn't admiring Neighpon, Destiny enjoys being moody. This is because being moody is cool. Obviously. Moodiness and being cool are just intrinsically related concepts, kind of like maids and period dramas. None of her friends agree, though, which fills her with rage. They all seem to think she's being silly. Nopony really understands her soul... she is all alone in this world, surrounded by false friends who make no attempt to comfort her...

Gog damn she is so moody. And awesome. And oh look she's being pestered again. While her friends are cool, sort of, she does find it rather tiresome to talk to them sometimes. Especially this one. If she's being honest, Destiny really thinks that this girl just goes out of her way to be cheery. Just to rub this pegasus up the wrong way.

[homelessChicken began pestering desertedDestiny]

HC: Hey Destiny!

HC: How are you?

DD: Oh. Hey.

DD: I suppose I'm OK.

DD: Not great, but OK.

HC: Aw, that's not good enough!

HC: We've got to get you into the spirit of things if we're all going to be playing this game together.

HC: Let's hear some of that TEAM SPIRIT! <:D

DD: ...

DD: "Woot".

HC: It doesn't count if it's a quote!

DD: Will it make you happy if I do a little dance in my room?

HC: YES.

DD: Brb.

DD: OK, there. I did it.

HC: Oh REALLY?

HC: *narrows eyes suspiciously*

DD: Believe what you want.

HC: Hmph. I know that really you're excited about playing this game.

HC: Which is why you're first in line to play!

DD: I'm second. That's the point.

HC: Yeah well you still get to play before me.

DD: Do you want to switch places?

HC: Oh, no! Not at all!

DD: Well then.

DD: Did you want anything else, or was this conversation purely intended to remind me of your continued existence?

HC: Er... I guess? I didn't really want anything in particular.

DD: In that case, if you don't mind, I have some things to take care of.

HC: Urgh, you ALWAYS have stuff to take care of!

HC: Sometimes I think you're just trying to get rid of me. <:O

HC: Anyway, we'll talk later, OK?

DD: Yeah, sure.

HC: Bye!

[homelessChicken ceased pestering desertedDestiny]

After setting up the installation file on her computer, Destiny walked out of her room and out onto the open balcony outside of her house. There weren't many ponies around at that time of night, so to the untrained eye her view of the city was just a particularly thick group of clouds. Despite the darkness, however, it was possible to make out the sides of pillars and closed doors, and the occasional house still shone faintly with the light from within. Cloudsdale was pretty cool, Destiny supposed. Nothing to write home about though, partly because it was already her home in the first place.

Cloudsdale was among the oldest cities in Equestria, founded in the days back when New Ponyville was just plain old Ponyville, or maybe even before then. Destiny wasn't sure how long ago that was, but it was probably somewhere between very long ago and really long ago. History was never her strong point. Regardless, it was an old city, and she had lived here all her life. More or less. Soon, though, she would be leaving it behind forever.

***

"Here it comes." Luna gestured above them, to the meteor which was now nearing the end of its journey. "Is there really nothing you can do?" Celestia shook her head sadly.

"No. I can't stop it. All we can do is limit the damage it deals to the rest of Canterlot." Even that would take a lot out of them, Celestia knew. But it was all they could do. "And then we'll leave for Cloudsdale, to do the same, and then on to Hoofington, and so on... for as long as we're able."

"But we both know we can't stop the eventual destruction of our planet. This is the end."

"No." It wasn't like that, Celestia had decided. Not really. "It's a miracle, in a way."

***

[fractalAbomination began pestering desertedDestiny]

FA: while i appreciate the positive direction your fucking around has taken

FA: and that we are actually getting stuff done

FA: i would like it if we could calm down for a moment and figure out what's going on

DD: Why, what don't you understand?

FA: i understand jack shit about anything

DD: That's a nice change.

FA: for starters

FA: what the fuck is this?

In a manner vaguely resembling fear, Comet once again studied the floating light that had emerged from his cruxtruder. It was about the size of his head, it was teal, and it appeared to be flipping the fuck out about something.

FA: some kind of emergency warning epilepsy sphere or something

FA: it's what the game sends to let you know that shit has just gotten real

FA: just in case the meteor didn't clear that up, it just sends you a little warning just to settle any doubts you may have had

FA: you may have been under the impression that the shit was all a figment of your imagination

FA: well this game has got news for you

FA: stop fucking around with the square root of negative royally fucked, because this shit is 100% real

DD: This is why I don't talk to you.

DD: You just whine about everything!

FA: you do talk to me.

DD: I wish I didn't.

FA: whatever, just focus on getting the other machines put down, i guess

FA: i'll deal with the epilepsy sphere

DD: Fine...

The epilepsy sphere seemed like it was trying to tell him something. Unfortunately its language consisted of a range of noises that can only be represented phonetically by rapidly animated clip art, so just imagine that in noise form. That's what it sounded like. The upshot of all this was that Comet didn't have a clue what the thing was saying.

Later he threw a lizard at it in a fit of stupidity and desperation.

***

"We wonder if he's aware of what's going on around him?" Luna asked her sister. The two princesses had walked to the statue garden, and were standing before an old friend they had not seen in decades. Unlike the other statues, Discord was formed of living stone, magically protected from the elements. While other structures had come and gone, he had been magically shielded. And so the draconequus looked the same way he always had - a look of sheer terror on his face, contrasting with his horrific mismatched body. The sight was both repulsive and pitiable at the same time. This, Celestia remembered, was why they never normally came here. Too many terrible memories.

"I think so. Whether or not he has enough of a mind left to understand what's going on, that's a different matter entirely." She sighed sadly, lamenting the memories of a time long since passed. "It wasn't our fault, was it, Luna?"

"No. We couldn't have known what was happening, and we couldn't have stopped it once we realised."

"That's what I want to believe." Her eyes wandered skyward. "Do you suppose he'll survive the meteors?" Luna thought for a moment.

"Perhaps. Or maybe this will be the just death that neither of us have the strength to give him." She thought for a moment. "In a way, I hope that's the case, for his sake. It'll be an escape for him." Oh no, she was going to start getting all depressed about how long her life has lasted, Luna realised. That wouldn't do at all.

"Stop right there. You're going to do that thing where you ask us if we regret living for so long. That's not what we need to be thinking about." Resting a hoof on Celestia's shoulder, Luna smiled warmly. "We need to look forward. This is the night that everything gets better, and after that..." She drifted off, waiting for Celestia to finish the sentence.

"We can start again."

***

[psychoticDeceiver began pestering homelessChicken]

PD: Hello.

HC: Oh, it's you. Why are YOU talking to me?

PD: Youre going to be my server player in this game, right?

HC: Uh... maybe? I don't know! <:D

PD: You are.

HC: Oh. Yay, I guess?

PD: I only bring it up because Comet has started playing.

PD: Its hard to make out whats going on from his inane yelling, but I gather that his life is in danger.

HC: <:O

HC: Does he need help?

PD: He has help, in the form of Destiny. This is the point Im making.

PD: A player entrusts their server player with complete control over their life.

PD: Which is to say that whether I live or die is up to you.

HC: Wow. That's... I don't know.

PD: Me neither, which is why I thought Id better make sure youre up for the job of not getting me killed.

HC: I'm sure it will be fine! It's not like I've never played a game before.

PD: Have you ever played a game where failure results in death before?

HC: Nope! <:D

PD: What is that, by the way?

HC: It's a happy face!

PD: Why do you give your emoticons horns?

HC: Uh... because I have a horn? Honestly, that's pretty obvious!

PD: It seems a bit silly to me.

HC: Your FACE is a bit silly!

PD: I suddenly feel completely relaxed about entrusting my safety to you.

HC: Why? What did I do?!?

PD: Nothing. Just...

PD: Id appreciate it if you didnt get me killed. OK?

HC: I wasn't going to!

PD: Hmph.

PD: Well, well see.

HC: Bye.

PD: Indeed.

[psychoticDeceiver ceased pestering homelessChicken]

***

On reflection, Comet mused, choosing such a temperamental server player was probably a bad idea. Not that he had realised the level of control over his environment she would be given, or the stakes for which they were playing. It was getting dreadfully hot, despite how late it was, and he really did not need to be trapped in his bedroom when his life was very close to a very early and very nasty end.

[fractalAbomination began pestering desertedDestiny]

FA: listen, i'd just like you to know

FA: even though i constantly make fun of you and your "issues"

FA: i never meant any of it, and i think you are the smartest and most perfect pony in existence

FA: now can you please

FA: PLEASE

FA: remove the bathtub from my doorway?

DD: Urgh, fine, just stop your whining.

FA: <3

DD: Fuck off.

Rushing out of his newly cleared doorway, Comet dashed up to the roof and checked on his cruxtruder, laptop drifting through the air behind him. 00:30. He could make this, easy. He retrieved the captchalogue card containing the teal totem he had made using the pre-punched card. Oh, fuck. He had forgotten to take into account the gog awful fetch modus he found himself stuck with. Before him, rather than a picture of the totem, there was a simple string of text.

Considering the equation x4+6x3-7x2-36x+36=0, what is the sum of the equation's roots?

Comet's polynomial modus produced a maths question involving a polynomial equation, the nature of which was related in some intangible way to the item in question. There was nothing wrong with a good challenge now and then, of course, but he had 25 seconds. He liked algebra, his special talent was algebra, but he wasn't a machine. This was not good. His panic was briefly interrupted by a beeping noise from his laptop, which he had been sure to simply hover next to him rather than captchalogue. Somepony was pestering him. At at time like this?!?

[amniomorphicWizard began pestering fractalAbomination]

AW: Hello, my good man.

AW: I've got a message from your future self, you said to pass it on.

Wait, who was this? Comet didn't recognise the name from his list of friends. And what about future selves? Really? He was a few seconds from death, and here he was getting trolled by some random moron. Praise Celestia for the wonders of technology.

AW: You said that the answer is -6, and also that it's "really just so painfully obvious to anypony with a brain, you complete..."

AW: Well, you can probably imagine what you would say. Anyway, I'll speak to you some more once you get in!

[amniomorphicWizard ceased pestering fractalAbomination]

Any thoughts on how odd it was that this strange pony knew exactly what was going on were immediately superseded by the sudden realisation that the answer was, indeed, -6. Wow, that was stupid of him. Not wanting to waste any more of the few remaining seconds, he scratched the number onto the back of the card and retrieved the totem, placing it onto the alchemiter. On the pedestal, a large teal bookcase made entirely of cruxite appeared. A particularly thick tome was ejected, the bookcase disappearing behind it, which Comet caught and quickly brought towards him. OK, so he had the artifact. Was this some kind of puzzle? Easy.

...

00:10

... gog damn it.

[amniomorphicWizard began pestering fractalAbomination]

AW: Heh, it's me again! You said you still needed a final shove in the right direction, so to speak.

AW: Well, I'm paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it.

AW: Actually, I'm just going to copy and paste what you're saying, it'll be easier.

AW: FA: HOW FUCKING STUPID CAN YOU EVEN BE YOU DUMBASS

AW: FA: DON'T JUST STAND THERE LOOKING AT THAT BOOK LIKE IT'S A DEAD KIPPER

AW: FA: SKIM

AW: FA: THE

AW: FA: FUCKING

AW: FA: PAGES.

AW: And that's all you had to say on the matter.

AW: Hope it helps, old boy!

[amniomorphicWizard ceased pestering fractalAbomination]

***

Across all sessions of Sburb, or whatever name it chooses to take, there are several key patterns that can be observed. There is often a certain degree of symmetry in the prototypings that the players will use - in a session where one player prototypes a pet, it is usual that most of the other players will also prototype with their respective pets. Another similarity is the tendency for the kingdom of Derse to be largely responsible for its own destruction, through the medium of wildcard archagents and less than competent Crown Defenders. These inherent weaknesses in the strength of Derse are flaws which are intended to even the playing field somewhat - they can occasionally prove enough of a handicap to counteract Prospit's sheer lack of military prowess. Derse will still inevitably win, however, if only because the political power struggles are far removed from the units deployed on Skaia. The armies are loyal to the King.

One last similarity of note is that Sburb is a very difficult game. Its objective is simple, yet easily obfuscated, and the vast majority of all games will end in failure. A perfect session is unheard of, and a successfully completed game is a treasure to experience (and to behold).

The thing about treasures is that they must be guarded.

There's always a Thief looking for the opportunity to strike.

***

Together, the two princesses had been strong enough to shield the majority of Canterlot from the explosion as the meteor was driven into the side of the mountain. The buildings in the immediate vicinity of the blast were a lost cause, but the remaining portion of the city was untouched. Once the shock had dissipated, the sisters stood in silence, breathing heavily while around them the sound of sirens and screaming civilians could be heard. Celestia was the first to speak.

"Are you hurt, Luna?" The question came in short, ragged bursts as she struggled to breathe. Luna's reply followed in much the same way.

"No, we think we're fine. For now. But you know that they'll only get larger over time."

"Yes, you're right. We should probably be preparing to leave for Cloudsdale soon." And so they would continue to follow the meteor showers, minimising the damage for as long as they could. That was what they had both planned, at least, and what they intended to do for as long as they could. And then, when the planet had been all but obliterated, and they were among the only ponies left alive in a deserted wasteland, together they would witness a miracle.

The miracle of a new beginning.

Chapter 9

View Online

A young colt stands in his house in Hoofington. His coat is grey, and his mane is black; the only colour in his appearance is his cutie mark - a five point star within a circle, in a vivid red. The symbol is commonly used in association with dark magic, and is widely understood to correspond with a summoning pentacle - a tool of sorcery and control over demons. The most literal and basic translation of his cutie mark is that this is a pony with a knack for magic.

With this in mind, perhaps we can understand the frustration that Mild Darkness feels. Magic is something of an interest of his, as it is of course the greatest thing ever. To have a special talent for magic, then, is simply adding insult to injury. For not only is he a great admirer of magic, but he could have been one of the greatest wizards of his generation!

Could have been, were it not for the cruel twist of fate that brought him into the world the way it did. As an earth pony.

Mild Darkness is a very secluded and borderline racist, earth pony living in Hoofington. The shame he feels has served to twist his perception of unicorns from the great and wise, to the lucky and ungrateful. He has a fascination for all things evil and villainous, and spends a lot of his time plotting to take over the world. His schemes are thought out and sensible, and avoid all of the stupid clichés which are so often the downfall of invading armies. He has all of the schemes. All of them. And they're all amazing.

He also spends time talking with his mindless slaves, he means, best friends. They find his plans to be amusing, if a little disconcerting, but he supposes that they may come in useful - as target practice if nothing else. Especially the unicorns.

Mild is a fan of any variety of role playing games, and he is always the wizard. Always. Except when he's being a thief, sometimes. As everypony knows, no matter how they dress it up, all RPGs have a warrior, a thief, and a wizard. Warriors are obviously stupid. Wizards are the greatest, because they have magic. As mentioned, Mild has occasionally played as a thief whenever he's been in the right state of mind, but he has always decided in the end that they are inferior due to their lack of magic.

After that rather contrived attempt to give subtle hints about the near future, it would probably be best if Mild actually did something rather than just standing around waiting for us to finish learning about his interests. How about if he talked to one of the ponies we haven't seen much of yet?

[psychoticDeceiver began pestering mushroomAddict]

PD: You there.

PD: Answer, boy.

MA: oH HEY mILD

PD: Youre playing this game, right?

MA: uH YEAH i THINK SO

MA: nOT FOR A WHILE THOUGH

PD: Right, because youre the end of the chain.

PD: You do realise that means that by the time it gets to you, the game will be a lot harder than it will be for the rest of us?

MA: tHATS WHY iM JOINING LAST BECAUSE iM SO PRO

MA: :D

PD: Whats sad is that you actually believe that.

PD: Comet probably set you to go last because hes hoping youll get your ass handed to you.

MA: wELL i SAY BRING IT BITCH

PD: Heh.

PD: Speaking of, have you heard from him lately?

MA: nOT REALLY HE HASNT SAID MUCH

MA: oH HOLD UP HES JUST YELLING AT ME NOW

MA: sHOULD PROBABLY GO TAKE CARE OF IT

PD: Bah.

PD: Very well, we will continue this later.

MA: sURE

[psychoticDeceiver ceased pestering mushroomAddict]

Well that was a good waste of a few minutes. Now he'll probably play a game, unrelated to the one he will play later, which will be very boring to watch, so let's look at somepony else.

***

Having entered his first gate, Comet was now able to properly explore the Land of Cloud and Ruins. Or at least, able to blindly stumble around the Land of Cloud and Ruins. As you may have been able to discern, the entire planet was draped in a thick fog, which obscured his vision even a few metres ahead of him. It was very hard to keep any track of where he was or what direction he was facing, and the occasional ambush by a pack of granite imps was not helping him keep his bearings. This was stupid. Pulling out his laptop from his sylladex, Comet decided to check up on Ember. After all, he was no doubt going out of his mind with worry for Comet's survival. It was only right to keep his friends informed of his situation.

[fractalAbomination began pestering mushroomAddict]

FA: hey fuckass

FA: listen up

MA: wHAT DO YOU WANT

FA: just thought i'd mention that i've gotten into the game world

FA: and by that, i mean i have just narrowly avoided being hit in the face by a giant meteor

FA: i thought you'd want to know

MA: wHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

FA: it turns out, this game is srs bsns.

FA: which is to say, it affects the real world in various ways

FA: such as by throwing meteors at you

MA: wOW SERIOUSLY

FA: yes, seriously

MA: iM NOT SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT

FA: idc, i'm not here to philosophise on your feelings

FA: i just thought i should tell you that i got in, and it'll be your turn soon

MA: uH YEAH ok

FA: good

MA: wAIT SO YOU MEAN YOU ACTUALLY ALMOST DIED

FA: yes. yes i did almost die

MA: uH

FA: oh for pity's sake, what is it?

MA: i DONT REALLY KNOW IF i WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME

FA: ... are you wimping out on me? seriously?

FA: is that what's happening?

MA: hEY MAN ITS NOT LIKE THAT i JUST DONT WANT TO PUT MY LIFE ON THE LINE IS ALL iM SAYING

FA: you are wimping out on me. you.

FA: this is just so screwed up in every meaningful way

MA: nOT MY FAULT

FA: yes, it is your fault

FA: suck it up, and play the damn game

MA: nO

FA: what do you mean "no"?

[mushroomAddict ceased being pestered by fractalAbomination]

Closing his laptop with an air of frustration, Comet vented his anger by smashing his Equestrian dictionary into the face of the nearest imp. The underling exploded in a shower of granite and shale, which he promptly collected before moving on. Man, screw Ember. Who did he even think he was, having second thoughts about risking his life? Comet had seen the risk coming, and he had taken that risk. Whether it was through stubborn pride, a scientist's intuition, or just plain stupidity, he had stayed in spite of the oncoming meteor. And it had paid off.

Ember, on the other hand, didn't even have a risk. He knew for a fact that playing the game would save him. What was he even worried about? Honestly, some ponies. Just thinking about it made Comet want to violently kill something with a large book.

So he did.

***

[desertedDestiny began pestering psychoticDeceiver]

DD: So, I've finished building Comet's house and stuff.

DD: Which I guess means that it's my turn to join the game.

DD: Are you ready?

PD: Yes. Ive been ready for several hours now.

DD: Good.

PD: Very well then, lets get this party started.

DD: Heh.

***

In Trottingham, a young filly is preparing to play a game with some of her friends. She is only vaguely aware of the terribly real effect the game has on the real world, and is completely unaware that her life will never be the same again. She is also completely unaware that she won't have to deal with that for very long, but let's not dwell on the future.

Her name is Acapella. She is a unicorn, and uses her magic to aid her in playing many different instruments. However, she cannot play all of the instruments, and even if she could we've used that joke far too many times already. Music, you might say, is her forte. She is particularly fond of, and good at, playing the accordion. Nopony knows, or cares, why this is the case. That's really all there is to say on the matter.

She also enjoys reading fantasy stories, which in Equestria are indistinguishable from accounts of real life events. While her magic is limited to the advanced level of levitation needed to play an instrument, she occasionally likes to imagine she is one of the more famous students from Princess Celestia's academy of magic. One of the great legendary figures from the past, like Twilight Sparkle. If only Acapella was of the same blood as Twilight Sparkle, then she could be a true witch. She often likes to imagine that she is, and that she has amazingly powerful magic. Not that she was complaining about what power she had, though. Playing the accordion was awesome, after all.

But enough of this silly girl and her oddly worded interests. What will she do next?

What she will do next, apparently, is reply to one of her friends.

[fractalAbomination began pestering homelessChicken]

FA: hey, can you help me out?

HC: Sure! What is it?

FA: well, i need to get dawn to play the game

FA: and dawn doesn't like me

HC: Heh, she sure can be strong minded sometimes!

FA: sometimes i wonder if we're talking about the same pony

FA: but whatever, here's the plan

FA: she doesn't like me

FA: but she listens to diamond

FA: and diamond listens to you

FA: and you're good willed enough to listen to me if i ask nicely

HC: Heheheh.

FA: so what i would like you to do is to ask diamond to ask dawn to play

HC: OK! But what I want to know is...

HC: If you and her don't get along, why are you so keen to get her on board?

FA: because emmy has stopped wanting to play, so i need dawn's superior bitching skills to convince him to rejoin the game

HC: And why are you so keen to get Ember to play?

FA: because he's my third best friend who isn't also completely insane

FA: and at this stage, beggars can't be choosers

HC: Heheh, alright, I'll go along with your crazy plan. FOR NOW. <:)

FA: thank you

FA: anyway, i gtg take care of these dumbass turtles that keep following me around everywhere

FA: later

HC: BYE!

[fractalAbomination ceased pestering homelessChicken]

Despite her enthusiasm, Acapella paused before starting the conversation with Diamond. She'd been getting worse lately, and Acapella really didn't want to bother her unless it was absolutely necessary. Perhaps she could talk to Ember herself? That would be a lot less stressful!

So she did that. It didn't work, but that's not really the issue here.

***

The two sisters approached Cloudsdale alone, without the usual fanfare that accompanied a royal visit. They preferred it that way. This was no time for celebration, after all. Above them, the meteor was bearing down on Destiny's home, where they could see the red pegasus frantically messing around with a kernelsprite and a large eagle. Where she had found an eagle, neither sister had any idea, but it was probably through some highly contrived and silly series of events. Celestia chuckled to herself at the sight.

"It brings back memories, doesn't it?" she asked, trying to read her sister's reaction. Luna didn't seem particularly surprised by the question, nor did it take her long to answer.

"Yes, it does." She shrugged. "Although we can't say we miss the feeling of not having a clue what we're doing."

"I suppose. Are you ready for the meteor?" Luna nodded. "Good. At least we don't have as much work to do this time - we can just help it pass straight through the clouds, and then just try to slow it down as much as possible. Not many ponies live below here, so it shouldn't be too hard to protect them all." They both looked below them, to where the meteor would soon be plummeting towards. A few houses were huddled together in various small groups, their inhabitants blissfully unaware of the oncoming rock. "You can barely even see them from up here."

"In a while you'll barely see them from down there."

***

In a different universe entirely, the first champion found himself travelling across the vast expanse that was the Land of Cloud and Ruins. Right now Comet was journeying through a large, desolate temple, practically indistinguishable from the thousands of other large, desolate temples that littered the world. All he had learned about this planet so far was that its turtle consort worshipped rubble, and had built large, desolate temples to store their sacred rubble in. Or something like that. He wasn't much of an archaeologist.

At that moment he was facing the latest in a series of incredibly tedious puzzles, which so far had accomplished nothing but to lead him further into the ruins. This puzzle took the form of a large turtle shaped groove in the wall in front of him. He had spent the last few minutes gathering the stone slabs (cunningly hidden in a pile of stone slabs) which fitted into the puzzle, and now lifted them up into the wall. He had had quite enough of turtles, and stupid puzzles, and the frustrating lack of action. This game was stupid.

After the final piece was slotted into the groove, the wall obediently slid away to reveal the corridor behind it. This predictably led further into the ruins, with no indication of how much further he had still to go. Stupid lousy unoriginal game design. Well, he wasn't going to put up with this without breaking up the monotony a little. Scratching the answer to the question his modus offered him (he had by now learnt this particular equation off by heart), Comet retrieved his laptop. There was some unfinished business to take care of.

[fractalAbomination began pestering amniomorphicWizard]

FA: wow, would you look at the time?

FA: it's explanation o'clock!

FA: i want some fucking answers, and i want them now

AW: I keep telling you, my good man, I'm really not supposed to say anything.

FA: why, did i tell you not to?

AW: No, I did.

FA: well at least it's not my future self sticking his nose where it doesn't belong

AW: Eheh, it's so very amusing to hear you talking about your past and future selves. You always get so worked up about it.

FA: ok fine, whatever, why aren't you telling me anything?

AW: Because pretty soon you're going to start talking to me in the past. So it'll be less frustrating all around if you talk to me out of order as little as possible.

FA: why am i going to start talking to you in the past?

AW: If memory serves...

AW: To apologise.

FA: apologise? that doesn't sound like me, bro. i don't apologise

FA: i'm sorry, but that's just the way i am

AW: Eheheh. We'll see, won't we?

AW: The point is that you'll talk to me in the past soon, so let's just try and keep things linear, OK?

FA: fine

[fractalAbomination ceased pestering amniomorphicWizard]

Captchaloguing his laptop and progressing down the corridor, Comet briefly took notice of the intricate runes carved into the side of the wall. Various stretches of the temple had been like this - small stretches of carved text at key points in the structure. Translating it would probably take little more effort than matching one symbol to an ordinary letter, since the turtles apparently spoke the same language as he did. This was convenient. He estimated that a full translation would take an hour or so, and then an extra twenty minutes per sequence of runes, which was far too long to spend on some obscure part of the backstory. It wasn't like LOCAR's culture actually mattered or anything.

Later he found out that LOCAR's culture actually mattered.

***

In winter, the winds in Cloudsdale were horrific to experience. The buildings, while structurally sound, were terrible at keeping out draughts, and it was hard to find any escape from the biting chill. That, however, was nothing compared to the tundra that Destiny had been transported to, and yet the freezing temperatures were offset by the awe inspiring landscape - an enormous mountain range stretching across miles and miles of snow and rock. Far surpassing any mountains found in Equestria, this mountainous terrain covered the entire surface of her planet. This was the Land of Ice and Decay, and its consorts had long been awaiting the arrival of their hero. The land had been tainted by anger born from the frustration and desperation of a species on the brink of starvation, and the consorts had been waging war across this barren land for many generations. That was the extent of Destiny's awareness of current affairs, as all the other information being spewed at her had glided straight past her. Only now did she shake herself from the hypnotic view of the mountains, as her lecturer neared his conclusion.

"It is your duty, as the hero of this planet, to journey across the land and unite the consorts. For only then can the corruption be halted, and our world can begin to heal." Finishing what would probably have been a very long and boring quest description - had she paid any attention - the salamander bowed to Destiny before heading back the way it had come. The emissary has appeared just a few minutes after her arrival on the Land of Ice and Decay, and had then proceeded to deliver a lecture on the planet's terrible misfortune that was apparently her problem. Honestly, everyone seemed to think they could just lay their problems on her, and she'd take care of everything. It was almost enough to drive a girl to depression. First waiting for the salamander to disappear between the snow-capped mountains that now surrounded her cloud house, Destiny turned to Eaglesprite. She had eventually used an eagle for prototyping her kernelsprite - not that she was entirely sure where she'd gotten an eagle from - but had soon come to regret the decision. It was a very, very wise eagle.

"So... should I go out and explore, or something?" The eagle simply looked back at her sagely. "... is... that a yes?" She waited for a few minutes, neither her nor the magic ghost eagle making any movement. Then it slowly shook its head. "Why not?!" If it wasn't being so slow anyway, the sprite would probably have paused, before giving its drawn out answer.

"You should... stay. Exploring... comes later. For now... fight." Content that its explanation had been sufficiently thorough, Eaglesprite flew off into the cold mountain sky, leaving Destiny standing on her cloud with an exasperated expression. Man, what a brainless feathery asshole of a sprite she had found herself stuck with. And what did it even mean by 'fight'? Fight what?

A sudden screeching from something right next to her caused the pegasus to lash out instinctively - drawing her katana from her strife specibus, she spun around and drove the blade deep into the thing standing behind her. The 'SAPPHIRE IMP', caught off guard by the sudden attack, leapt away from her in shock and fear, turning away and stretching out its wings ready to escape. Unfortunately for the wounded underling, by the time it had done so Destiny was already swinging her katana down onto it again. Defeated, it exploded with a shriek of pain, dropping several pieces of sapphire grist.

You have advanced one (1) rung up your echeladder! You achieve the title of 'Seething Problems' and receive 45 boondollars!

Gel Viscosity: +4!

Cache Limit: +20!

Emotions: +5!

In the distance, ogres were approaching. Destiny readied her blade. One rung down, several hundred to go.

***

After unsuccessfully attempting to reason with Ember, Acapella was feeling more than a little depressed. Which wasn't really like her, but nopony could be cheerful all the time, right? That would just be entirely unlikely and not fun. Sigh.

Something had to be done, though, and the remaining time was rapidly running out. Soon she would be getting Mild into the incipisphere, and after that it would be her turn. Comet's plan remained the only good option, as much as she didn't want to go through with it. She supposed that the only thing left to do was to talk with Diamond, and ask her to help out. Acapella had assumed that she was already on board to play this game, but then you never knew with that pony. Or rather, you did know, but only half of the time, and you didn't know which half. Maybe she'd be in a cooperative mood today?

[homelessChicken began pestering suspiciousSerpent (SS)]

HC: Hello? Are you there?

SS: of course I'm here. it's not like I'm going out anywhere, since we're playing this game and everything.

HC: Oh? So you ARE playing?

SS: yes, I'm your server player. at least, that's what Comet told me.

HC: GREAT! <:D

HC: Wait, when did Comet talk to you about this game?

SS: he mentioned it yesterday, and sent me the files and whatnot.

HC: Oh, OK. Well anyway, he asked me to talk to you...

SS: about?

HC: Well, he wants Ember to play, but he doesn't want to, so he needs Summer to play so that she can get Ember to play, but Summer doesn't like him...

HC: So in order to get Summer to play he needs you to get her to play because she listens to you.

SS: right.

SS: I might be missing something here, but couldn't he have told me this when he sent me the files?

HC: I don't think that the Ember thing was a problem back then.

HC: But I don't know, I'm just the messenger! <:D

SS: OK, well, that's fine, I'll talk to her about it.

HC: YAY!

HC: Oh, also, I'm just getting Mild into the game now, and once I've done that I'll need you to help me get in, OK?

SS: sure.

SS: Wait whats going on

SS: Hold on

[suspiciousSerpent (SS) ceased being pestered by homelessChicken]

[shiningSeraphim (ss) began pestering homelessChicken]

ss: Ok so whats happening

ss: What am i saying

HC: Uh, nothing! Just that you're going to be playing a game later tonight with us, OK?

ss: Am i

ss: I dont really remember that

HC: Well, you are! Sorry about this, but I've really got to go!

HC: <:(

ss: Wait

ss: I didnt agree to this

[homelessChicken ceased being pestered by shiningSeraphim (ss)]

Immediately after closing the conversation, Acapella planted her head firmly into her desk. Why did she just disconnect like that? Argh, that was NOT the best way to handle that. Gog damn she was such an idiot sometimes. But she always got a little flustered whenever 'that' happened. Well, she reasoned, no use crying about it now. She probably wouldn't be able to count on Diamond for an hour or so, so that was Comet's plan out of the window. Making a mental note to tell him about that later, she decided it was time to focus on the matter at hand, which was getting Mild into the game.

***

"Don't mind me." I say apologetically as I return to the room with a determined stride. "Suffice it to say that the Pinkie hunt has not gone entirely to plan. We may be on the brink of some more guests very shortly, unless I can do something about it. Please do not be alarmed." Disappearing into a cupboard, I begin my frantic search for the necessary machinery.

***

PD: I cant help but notice that you have apparently abandoned saving my life.

PD: And have instead opted to ruin my bathroom in what little remaining time we have to spare.

PD: Im not ok with this.

HC: Stop your whining! I'm getting you in!

PD: Youre getting me angry, but thats about it.

HC: <:D

HC: Anyway, I need to use your bath to whack the cruxtruder, right?

PD: You could have used anything.

HC: That's why I AM using anything!

PD: ... fine.

HC: It'll be just fine, don't worry about it.

HC: In the meantime, why don't you do the kernel thing?

PD: Sure.

HC: Yay for TEAMWORK! <:D

PD: ... no.

HC: Aww!

Taking a moment to clear his head, Mild turned his attention to the kernelsprite. The hovering grey orb stared back at him, showing no inclination of where it wanted to go. From observing Destiny's sprite, Mild had determined that the object used to prototype had an effect on the enemies of the game. This meant that prototyping something inanimate and useless would make the enemies much easier to defeat. If he was going to play this game, he was going to play it the half-assed way! But what could he use?

[eclecticSage began pestering psychoticDeceiver]

ES: why HELLO to you

ES: it would SEEM that you're in a bit of a dilemma, no?

PD: Im going to pretend that I dont find it at all odd that somepony Ive never spoken to before knows exactly whats happening to me right now.

PD: So that I can say its not really much of a dilemma.

PD: Ill probably just throw in this tooth.

After a brief period of glancing around his room, Mild had laid eyes on a large tooth with which he had decorated his desk. He forgot exactly which large predator it was supposed to have come from, but it certainly fit the bill as something which wasn't going to be much of a hassle to deal with.

ES: oh

ES: so you DON'T need my help with anything?

PD: No.

ES: in THAT case, i'll be taking my leave now, until you DO need my help

PD: I doubt that I ever will.

ES: ohohohoh, that's where you're WRONG

ES: ^^

[eclecticSage ceased pestering psychoticDeceiver]

Mild paused for a moment, internally debating whether that conversation had any significance whatsoever. Deciding it didn't, he shrugged and tossed the tooth into the kernelsprite.

***

"If you remember, there were some noises which warranted my attention before our story began. Those noises, I have determined, were caused by this machine..." I pause, and drag a large, complex machine out of the cupboard and through an adjoining door to the rooms beyond, before returning to explain my actions.

"I have just placed the machine in the necessary room, where it will distract my past self over the course of accomplishing the task for which I have now deployed it." Again, it is worth noting that time and space are very arbitrary concepts in my domain. "Rest assured that Pinkie Pie will be contained very shortly. In the meantime, feel free to continue with this session." Taking a look at your position in the notes, I rifle through them and offer you a page taken at random from deep within the bundle of paper. "There, try that. I have no idea where in the story that takes place, but there's nothing wrong with a bit of foreshadowing to get you into the spirit of things. After that, feel free to resume your normal, chronological order... if you wish. Either way, I'll be right back."

Giving a slight bow, I retreat from the room to resume the hunt.

***

It was funny how things turned out. After so long spent kneeling beneath the greater races, now Mild Darkness found himself catapulted to the highest rung of the social ladder. Now he was the most powerful player in the group, and now had the wings and horn befitting one who has reached the highest levels in Sburb - the God Tiers. Without his opportune ascension, their current assault on Derse would have been inconceivable. As it was, they now had the necessary firepower to take down the queen before she reached her full power.

The Black Queen was a potent enemy, even though her seventh prototyping had not yet been applied. Though Acapella and Destiny were making short work of the Dersite army which had arrived to protect their queen, Mild was barely managing to restrain the monarch. Since reaching God Tier, he found that most minds were little more than glass bottles he had to smash. But the queen, as a potent enemy, was beyond his complete control. Her mind was strong, and not easily broken, so the two remained locked in a mental duel while Mild's two team members fought in the background. Within her mind, Mild could feel the desire to destroy, to kill, and even his power was struggling to contain it.

"Are you two going to be finished any time soon!?" he called back to the others, not turning away from the queen.

"Will you just hold up for one moment? We're almost done!" came Acapella's frustrated reply, as she dodged yet another incoming pawn and jabbed her cane through its back. That was enough, Mild decided.

"OK, you know what? I've had enough of this. Switch over in five." he then began counting under his breath.

"What?" Acapella paused for a moment, focusing her attention on what Mild was saying, while Destiny continued beheading Dersites. "But we need all three of us to defeat her!"

"Just hold out for a few minutes, and I'll have the Dersites taken care of." While remaining focused on the queen, Mild subconsciously readied his knives. "Three. Two. One." So saying, he immediately threw every knife in his possession at the queen, and then spun around to face the Dersites. Acapella and Destiny then leapt past him in the opposite direction, towards the queen. Destiny, who had been planning to catch the queen off guard and take off her head in one swing, was both surprised and disappointed as the queen responded with her own sword, blocking the attack and knocking Destiny away from her. Picking herself up, she and Acapella once again advanced towards the queen.

While the girls were fighting behind him, Mild was finally able to use his power against the oncoming group of much weaker, more impressionable minds. Simply reaching out and twisting their killing instinct around, the hero of Mind was vaguely amused as the attacking army rounded on itself. Retrieving one of the swords scattered around the piles of bodies, he rapidly butchered the few remaining pawns, and then turned back to the queen to join in the fight. That was when he heard the scream.

The various prototypings in the queen, while not especially mighty on their own, joined together in a way that rendered them unexpectedly powerful. Although the queen's attention was focused entirely on Destiny, as Acapella leaped towards the monarch she was detected by the robotic sensors which the queen now had access to. In response, the queen's long snake tail lashed upwards towards the unicorn, knocking her up and over the queen in time to be skewered by the monarch's sword. As the unicorn lay on the ground, bleeding profusely, she was vaguely aware of Destiny flipping the fuck out, before everything faded to black...

FRAYMOTIF
[MIND && RAGE]
PHILOSOPHORTISSIMO

The battle music, which the game had been playing faintly in the background for the duration of their fight thus far, now approached a crescendo as Destiny and Mild activated their fraymotif. Combining their respective powers, the heroes of Mind and Rage both experienced Destiny's anger, greatly amplified by Mild's powers of Mind. Their stats, in case it needed pointing out, were completely ridiculous. They were now beyond the level of rage that clouded their judgement and lessened their overall effectiveness - instead their anger merely served to focus their (insane) power onto the hapless queen.

Knocking aside the queen's half-hearted attempt to defend herself, Destiny became a flurry of blades and anger as she unleashed exactly half of the fraymotif's power onto the queen, almost entirely knocking her health completely out of its casing of vitality gel. Unfortunately, however, her limited Rage powers dissipated before she had defeated the monarch, who still had the strength to knock away the sapped pegasus onto the floor. Fortunately, the second half of the fraymotif's power was still to come.

Flying up into the air, and using his magic to fling the queen up to meet him, Mild grinned evilly as he mentally grasped hold of the queen's mind. With the rage fuelling him, the queen's relatively pitiful defences buckled before his power, and she could do nothing but give a sharp shriek of pain as he crushed her mind like a paper cup. Considering the broken monarch, Mild then completed the fraymotif by venting the remaining rage into a final push with his magic, shooting the queen through the palace's walls and out of the other side. The fraymotif finished, both ponies returned to their natural state of aggression, and received several million booncases and experience points. Graciously accepting his newest god tier, Mild flew back down to the throne, where Destiny was tending to a dying Acapella.

"Is she-" the question was cut off by a curt nod from Destiny. Well, that answered that. Mild looked up, and surveyed the scene of destruction they had caused. It wouldn't be long before another few regiments turned up to see what all the fuss was about, and he would prefer it if they were gone by then. "OK, I'm going to go and take care of the queen's ring. The last thing we need is some unsuspecting pawn trying it on, or something. You can deal with Acapella?" Destiny paused, and then nodded. "Right, I'll be right back." He once again took to the air, flying through the hole in the wall the queen had left, in search of her body.

***

Wearily forcing her eyes open, Acapella begrudgingly forced herself out of bed. What was going on? Wasn't she meant to be fighting the queen or something? Or-

Oh. Yeah, that was right.

Taking note of her purple dress, confirming her suspicions that her waking self had died and then been revived, the unicorn made her way to the window of her purple dream tower, before flying out of it and down towards Derse. Destiny and Mild were probably worrying about her! Or at least, Destiny probably was.

Unknown to Acapella, behind her Mild was approaching Derse's moon, having taken care of the queen's remains. He now advanced on the towers containing the Derse dreamers. He had purpose in his eyes, a monarch's ring in his sylladex and plenty of knives in his strife deck.

Unknown to Acapella, she had just made a lucky escape.

Chapter 10

View Online

***FLASHBACK***

A young unicorn is in her bedroom in Fillydelphia. Her name is Diamond Heart, and she has a variety of interests. Let's find out about them, shall we?

One thing we should clear up right away is that, among her many interests, there is a distinct absence of photography. Gog does she hate photography. She wants absolutely nothing to do with photography. Let's just stop talking about photography, and really anything to do with cameras. This was only brought up in the first place to explain that she really doesn't want any further discussion on this topic. Unfortunately, everypony she ever meets always thinks that she has some kind of special talent involving cameras. Whenever somepony tries to talk to her about cameras, she has to take them to one side and explain, very clearly, that the next time they do so will be their doom. Also, it's very difficult to work the word "sylph" into a sentence.

The reason that everypony thinks she is good with photography is because her cutie mark happens to be a camera, if only because her special talent is rather difficult to render as a tangible object. Diamond has a photographic memory, an ability which is fantastically useful exactly half of the time. Her memory is so amazing, you don't even know. Not only can she remember all seventeen years of her life, but also the preceding seventeen years from before that! Well, that's not entirely true. Of the seventeen years of her current life, she can only remember more or less exactly half of them, and the seventeen of her past life is little more than vague impressions. Not that her friends believe her, of course. They all just think that she's faking her memory, to hide the fact that her special talent is really about cameras and OH LOOK THIS JUST STOPPED BEING THE TOPIC SO LET'S MOVE ON.

But she's not just some two-bit character who revolves entirely around remembering stuff and disliking cameras. She has a much deeper and thought through personality than that, involving many different interests.

She... um. Well, she likes meeting new ponies. Just recently, in fact, she met a very nice (and very drunk) pegasus, who has since introduced her to all of their online friends. On a related note, Diamond recalls that that particular group of friends was planning to play a game tomorrow, which she has asked to be a part of. The guy, who's setting up the game, should be getting back to her any time now, now that she thinks about it. This is going to be fun!

She also likes... uh... reading? Yeah, reading! She has just so books, even though she can't remember reading half of them. And with her memory, that means she hasn't! But seriously, she can't even remember buying half of these books. 'Grimoire for summoning the zoologically dubious'?!? Who even WRITES this stuff? Another of Diamond's interests is not being interested in religion, or any kind of supernatural mumbo jumbo, so it strikes her as very odd that she would ever obtain such a book. Honestly, who had time for demons and cults and whatnot in this day and age? This was the future, for crying out loud! Honestly, it was enough to drive a pony to writing a blog or something.

That said, she does remember reading this book, about 23 years ago, 6 years before she was born (or 6 BD, as she likes to say). In most of her memories from before her birth, she recalls having a very different set of interests. Almost completely inverted, in fact. But she still doesn't remember actually buying this book at any point. It must have happened during one of those 'dark patches' where she can't remember anything.

As for her other interests, she... uh...

To be honest, she's not really sure why she doesn't have more interests. It seems like she only ever has enough time for the few interests she does have! The rest of the time she's either sleeping, or...

Well, when she's not really there. Oh look, here's that guy who was meant to be getting back to her about that game.

[fractalAbomination began pestering suspiciousSerpent (SS)]

FA: hello

SS: oh, hello. Comet, right?

FA: yeah. and this is diamond?

SS: yes!

FA: ok, cool. well i don't know how much dawn's told you about this game in between being either drunk and useless or sober and useless...

FA: but basically we each have a sever and a client program

FA: and our group forms a ring of server/client connections, until we're all connected

FA: that's pretty much all i know about it

SS: uh, ok. speaking of Summer, is she playing?

FA: maybe. idk, she said she doesn't want to

FA: but we both know that what she says and what she does

FA: are completely irrespective of each other. she might decide not to play, to spite me

FA: she might decide to play, to spite me

FA: she might decide to get drunk out of her skull and jump off a cliff, to spite me

FA: all i can say for sure is that whatever she does, it will be done in the way which causes me the most hassle possible

SS: heheheheh, am I detecting some resentment there?

FA: nah, think of it as a respectful grudge

SS: you mean a grudging respect.

FA: no. no i don't

FA: anyway, here's the files and stuff

[fractalAbomination sent suspiciousSerpent (SS) the file "sburbinstall.zip"]

SS: OK, thanks.

FA: i'm just working out the player order atm, and i'm putting you in between acapella and dawn

FA: because obviously you know dawn, and i believe you know acapella quite well?

SS: well, I'd say so. we get along, anyway.

FA: good enough for me. we're starting up tomorrow, and once it gets to you you'll be her server, and then dawn can connect to you.

SS: OK.

FA: this is of course assuming that she plays

Wait, what was going on?

SS: What

FA: hm?

SS: Oh its you

SS: I vaguely remember you from somewhere

SS: Werent you dawns friend or something

FA: uh... yes?

SS: Oh hold on im on the wrong account again

SS: This always happens just wait a moment

FA: what?

[suspiciousSerpent (SS) ceased being pestered by fractalAbomination]

[shiningSeraphim (ss) began pestering fractalAbomination]

ss: Ok thats better

ss: So youre summers friend

FA: oh. that's right, i remember her telling me about you

FA: in between the swearing

ss: What did she say

FA: just that... uh...

FA: i need to 'remind' you about what we're talking about now and then

ss: Hey my memory isnt that bad

ss: I just forget silly little things like what day it is and stuff

FA: uh... ok...

FA: anyway, i need to go and feed lizards. :c

ss: Hmph

ss: None of you lot ever want to talk to me

ss: Not even summer usually

ss: But at least you came up with an excuse

FA: no, i really have lizards. that need feeding. and i hate them

FA: look, we'll talk later, ok?

ss: Fine

[fractalAbomination ceased being pestered by shiningSeraphim (ss)]

Well, that was annoying. Anyway, where was she? Oh, right, introductions.

Her name is Silver Edge, and she is a unicorn living in Fillydelphia. She has a variety of interests.

Among these interests is her fascination with the dark arts. Summoning circles, fenestrated planes, and all manner of eldritch abominations. They are just... SO COOL. Not that she has ever attempted any of the dark rituals with which she is so enthralled. That would be highly irresponsible! Plus she can't find the right incense.

A healthy interest in the writhing horrorterrors of the seventh doomwrecked plane also goes hand in hand with staying inside all the time. Silver makes a habit of abjuring social interaction, at least in real life, as well as most forms of physical exercise. Of course, over time she has come to regret her self-imposed handicap, and now the only way she can really meet new ponies is online.

She has a camera cutie mark, because she is the best with cameras. She once had cameras littering her house, but they were all mysteriously set on fire, so she has taken to storing them in a locked chest until she needs them. She occasionally supplies images to other ponies online as a sort of job, which is the only reason she has for venturing from her home, although she tries to keep her excursions to a minimum. Most of the work is editing the pictures on her computer anyway.

Speaking of her computer, she often finds she is logged onto the wrong account. She has attempted to make friends with the ponies who are friends with this account, with varying degrees of success. All she really knows is that they always seem on edge when talking to her, for some reason, so she ignores them for the most part. They seem to think that she has a good memory, which is just silly. Her memory is downright terrible. She can literally remember nothing, not even where she is, or how she got there, or why she's logged onto the wrong account. Her life is filled with 'dark patches' that obscure more or less exactly half of her life. And she can't always remember the half which isn't obscured.

Her room is evidence to this. Obviously there are all of her awesome books about sorcery and such, but what about this one? 'Pride and Prejudice'?!? Who even WRITES this stuff? It's all just a load of prissy nonsense. Who actually gives a damn. Not THIS unicorn, that's for sure. This just makes her ownership of this book all the more perplexing. Just what was she thinking when she bought this?

Over time, Silver has come to realise that her body is not entirely hers. For half of her life, she becomes some other pony, this "suspiciousSerpent", who reads Pride and Prejudice and makes friends and such. She sometimes wonders about this other pony. Does the mystery pony know about Silver? Do they wonder about why their pathetic excuse for reading material has been tainted by the awesomeness of eldritch tomes? Are they the ones with the good memory? Was it they who destroyed her cameras? Whatever the deal with this other pony is, it was a futile effort to hope that they would ever stop being a problem. Just another thing she had to deal with. And seriously, "sylph". That word is just so impossible to cleverly hide within a paragraph. Not like "thief" or "page". Just sort of blares out at you, doesn't it? 'Hello, I'm a subtle hint! Look at me!' and so on.

***NOT A FLASHBACK***

HC: So yeah, I think you'll probably just have to talk to Summer yourself.

FA: blarg. i figured it would come to this, but still

FA: how about diamond, then? is she going to play?

HC: She'll play, once she... uh, gets back.

HC: But to be honest I don't know if she's in any state to be playing.

FA: you are just being so helpful today

FA: look, it's your call since it's you who needs to get into the game

FA: either diamond or ember, whichever you want to trust

FA: one is mentally unstable, and one is a complete fucking idiot

FA: i, meanwhile, am going to go reason with dawn

HC: Urgh, FINE.

[fractalAbomination ceased being pestered by homelessChicken]

Closing his laptop, Comet once again returned to the sprawling mess of pages and stone slabs that he had laid out in front of him. After discovering that he should have been paying attention to the history of his planet the whole time he had been blindly charging on ahead, the unicorn had been forced to spend the last hour deciphering this confounded turtle language. But as mind numbingly boring as this was, at least he was putting off the increasingly vital conversation with a certain pegasus.

The problem, he reflected, was that he didn't know if his translation was wrong or if the turtles were just very stupid. He didn't hold much stock in his own abilities when it came to this sort of thing, but then again the turtles were incredibly stupid. But whatever. Briefly debating whether or not it was worth the trouble to sigh, he decided it wasn't and picked up the next stone slab. If his current system was correct, this one insisted that the moon was an oyster, with all of the words containing at least three spelling errors (including the 'an'). Nonsense. In the first case, LOCAR didn't even have a moon.

All in all, Comet had decided, this was a stupid game. Why would anyone ever want to spend hours and hours translating the ramblings of some clearly insane turtles? And all because of some random mythological role the game had assigned to him for no reason other than to be really annoying. He was basically the caretaker of time, he had surmised. Who wanted to be a caretaker? Nopony is who. What he needed was a distraction. Maybe talking to Summer wouldn't be too bad? Maybe?

While Comet deals with the Summer thing, we will go and see something completely different.

***

It hurt to move his head, so Mild had come to accept his newfound outlook on life from his current position lying on his back against a cold slab of rock. Even if he could move, he wouldn't make it far before he died from the blood loss. So instead he lay on the ground and reflected on the moments leading up to his current predicament, which was awfully convenient for any casual observers who had only recently begun following his actions.

Mild had begun travelling across the surface of his planet, the Land of Steam and Cogs. The entire planet was one huge city, covered in strange machinery which somehow worked perfectly even though it was all powered by an esoteric mixture of steam engines and clockwork. He thought it was awesome. And arguably, he was right.

Whether his current situation was caused by some seriously unfair rolls of the game's random number generator, or whether there were shenanigans of some kind involved, Mild didn't know. All he knew was that he had been attacked from behind by something powerful (or lucky) enough to knock his health bar clean out of its vitality gel casing. So he had collapsed onto the ground, where he was currently bleeding to death. This was not awesome. But arguably, what happened next was. Unfortunately for Mild, he wasn't there for the majority of it, as his last few seconds of life faded away, and the world around him melted away into nothing.

The creature which was responsible for Mild's death watched this, and as he died it took the cue to begin dragging the pony's corpse along the ground behind it. There was a long distance to travel. As it walked, the crowds of crocodiles which were beginning to form quickly stepped out of its way. Even if it had not just killed the hero of their planet, even if it was not clearly a powerful enemy, and even if it was not extremely ugly, they would have stepped aside out of respect if not out of fear.

It didn't pay to obstruct the Gods.

***

A young filly stands in her bedroom. Her location? New Ponyville. Her interests? Varied. Her blood alcohol content? So much that it's basically insane. But what is her name?

Her name is Summer Dawn, and she is a pegasus. As mentioned, she has a range of interests. Chief among these are the victims of her flushed leanings, of which there are many. A lot of her online friends qualify as such, but they generally regard her advances as very persistent ironic humour. On a potentially related note, she is infamous among her friends for drinking, a lot, all of the time.

When she's not entertaining either of those two passions, on the other hoof, Summer likes to mess around with building robots. Her room is littered with cables and blueprints, even though she only keeps them around to give the impression that she's even better than she really is. To be honest, mostly she just likes to play around with circuit boards. Technology is the future, after all. The days when computers were essentially complex enchantments are over. Now computers are for everypony, not just unicorns. Unicorns think they are just so great, but really they're not.

Another thing that unicorns think they are so great at is shooting. Most ponies agree, seeing as precise aiming is more suited to a magic user. But Summer has seen the light! She prides herself on being a natural marksmare, a talent that she never ceases to threaten her friends with. And if any of those foolish ponies told her that shooting was for unicorns, they would find themselves heir apparent to a world of pain after she snipes their wealthy pain uncle from 1600 metres. So there.

Summer has been invited to play a game with some of her friends, and is currently debating the best course of action. Of course she is going to play the game, because games are fun and she has nothing better to do with her life. But there wasn't any fun in just agreeing to play the game. That would be too easy. Comet was going to regret making all of those hurtful comments about her lifestyle choices.

Speak of the devilfucking dickens, here he was.

[fractalAbomination began pestering mechanicalNoisemaker]

FA: ok so i'm really dreading this conversation

FA: and i'd just like to say that if there's any chance that we can cut the bs and talk to each other like rational ponies

FA: then that would just make my fucking day, it really would

MN: We both know that there's no chance of that happening

MN: Especially seeing as you just told me you'd like me to be nice

FA: oh wow, what a fucking surprise

FA: the huge bitch is on top form today

MN: Petty insults will get you nowhere

FA: fine

FA: first things first, are you actually even playing this game with us

MN: Probably not. It seems boring from what I can tell

FA: right, glad to have you on board

FA: well not really, but w/e, the point is you're playing and we both fucking know it

MN: Urgh, what do you want?

FA: i need you to go bitch at emmy until he agrees to play

MN: And why would I do that?

MN: I don't really like talking to him all that much

FA: i'm going to rethink my plan now, because i highly value and respect your position on the matter

MN: That's awfully considerate of you

FA: really? fuck, i was aiming for condescending

FA: in that case screw you, you're talking to him

MN: I still don't see what's in it for me

FA: a guilt free conscience

FA: or at least, guilt free on that count. the rest of the shit you do is still on there, but that's not my problem

MN: I hope you realise that I'm actually not going to talk to him

FA: i hope you realise that i actually don't give a fuck

FA: we're done here

[fractalAbomination ceased pestering mechanicalNoisemaker]

Well, that was that taken care of. It was a shame he had called her bluff on not playing the game, Summer reflected, but over the years he had grown wise to her mind games. Making a mental note to talk to Ember later, which she more or less immediately forgot, Summer decided it was time to return to her most recent project. It was a bit of a leap from her normal domain of shooting and robots, but it was nothing if not intriguing.

A while ago, Summer received a strange program from somepony claiming to be her future self. She, being drunk out of her skull at the time, decided to run it, and was pleasantly surprised to find it wasn't a virus. On the contrary, her future self was indeed responsible, and revealed to Summer that the program was a stripped down version of an application that it was Summer's job to create from scratch. This was apparently important for continuity reasons.

Essentially, the idea was to expand the functionality of the chat program that all of her friends used, so that it was capable of managing 'memos' that allowed multiple users to communicate with each other at once. And, as she had discovered, from any point in the timeline. It was weird, highly convoluted, and only marginally useful, and yet it was apparently incredibly important. And so Summer had been attempting to replicate the effect, despite her less than thorough understanding of programming languages. She hadn't gotten anywhere.

Navigating to the simplified file, Summer once again decided to check up on her future self. Maybe she (and the program, for that matter) would be in a cooperative mood.

[CURRENT mechanicalNoisemaker RIGHT NOW created a new memo THISISSTUPID on board HELLOPASTME]

CMN: Hey again

[FUTURE mechanicalNoisemaker began responding to memo THISISSTUPID]

FMN: Oh hi

FMN: You're stuck again?

CMN: Sooorry

FMN: Don't worry about it

FMN: The interface was a bitch to set up

FMN: I still dont get those gog damn loops

CMN: I know

CMN: What are they even trying to achieve

CMN: It makes fuck all sense

FMN: Yeah well life's like that

CMN: Anyway how do I do this

FMN: You'll figure it out

FMN: By which I mean you'll get Comet to do it

CMN: What?

CMN: But he hates me

CMN: And even if he did want to do it

CMN: Fuck him I wanted to do this by myself

FMN: Yeah well let's face it we can't code to save our lives

FMN: You'll probably still mess around with it for a few more hours though

FMN: To no avail

CMN: >:/

[FUTURE fractalAbomination began responding to memo THISISSTUPID]

FFA: you said it, memo, you said it. this is, indeed, very stupid

CMN: Hey fuck off

CMN: This is between myself and I

FFA: yeah, and me, as of right now

FFA: just thought i'd make sure you're passing this project onto me as the alpha timeline dictates

CMN: Nope

FFA: heh, but of course you're going to do it all yourself, aren't you?

FFA: i feel sorry for you, so here's a clue:

[FUTURE fractalAbomination sent CURRENT mechanicalNoisemaker the file "protip.~ATH"]

CMN: I have most of it done already fuckass

FFA: no, you have the edited version that i authorised future you to give you, just so that we could get it into your thick skull that it's me who makes the code

FFA: you know jack shit about ~ATH, and you know it

FMN: OK I have to agree with myself on this one

FMN: Get the fuck out of my memo

FFA: add more people to the memo? as you command

FMN: Oh gog

[FUTURE eclecticSage began responding to memo THISISSTUPID]

FES: what am i DOING here?

FFA: think of it as a social experiment

FES: oh, well THAT'S cool

FES: ^^

FMN: Hey past me

FMN: You might want to leave now

FMN: Seriously

CMN: Yeah I think I will

FFA: don't forget to hand the files over to me

CMN: Fuck that

[CURRENT mechanicalNoisemaker stopped responding to memo THISISSTUPID]

Well, apparently Comet remained just as irritating in the future. That was reassuring. Briefly, Summer contemplated just sending his current self the files, but decided that it was worth giving it one more go, temporal inevitability be damned. She half-heartedly checked the file he had sent her.

protip.~ATH

import author Summer;

import entity Comet;

~ATH(Summer) {

Comet.CRYDEEPLY();

} EXECUTE (Comet.CELEBRATE());

THIS.DIE();

// By the way, this doesn't do anything. I just made this to fuck with you.

Letting out a groan of desperation, Summer planted her head firmly into her desk. This was going to be a long day.

***

Three players had entered the session so far, and therefore three prototypings had been applied. The Battlefield, the planet found within the heart of Skaia, had grown a dimension of complexity with each prototyping. First it had expanded to a fully sized chess board, before turning into a large chess cube that allowed the armies to wage war on six different fronts simultaneously. Its current form, that it had taken after Mild had entered the Medium, was that of a more traditional planet - a large sphere, now that the six different battlefields had been smoothed together into one large planet on which the armies now fought. Additionally, with each prototyping the range of units each army possessed increased, such that the current armies were comprised of battletanks and warships, fighting alongside the more usual components of a game of chess. Although both sides were taking heavy casualties, the war was just getting started. There was a long way to go, and plenty of stakes to be raised, which gave the battles an almost upbeat feeling to them despite the death count. Sburb's music seemed to add to this, inspiring as it was.

It was in the middle of this conflict that Mild Darkness now found himself, newly transported to the Battlefield in an inferno of light and magic. Many of the surrounding soldiers halted, pausing to take in the spectacular sight of a God ascending. But perhaps it would be a good idea to stop for a moment and clarify just what it means to become a God.

As may or may not be clear, all players of Sburb have a title, of the form the Class of Aspect. Their aspect is the element over which they have power, and their class is the manner in which this power manifests. This will probably be expanded on later.

All players of Sburb receive experience for completing quests, killing enemies, and many other impressive feats. As you may have gathered, by accumulating experience they are able to climb the rungs of their echeladder, which allows them to enjoy increased abilities and more boondollars, and also grants them an ever growing understanding of their aspect. But this is not a ladder to nowhere - the echeladder does have a top, many hundreds (or sometimes, thousands) of rungs high, at which point the player will be unable to gain any further strength by traditional means. Having reached the greatest height any mortal can achieve, they will find themselves fairly capable users of their aspect. There are, however, rungs above and beyond the echeladder. These can only be achieved by ascending to God Tier, after which point the player can continue to climb.

The process of ascension is simple: a player must die while on their quest bed. A quest bed is a special location on a player's planet which is uniquely tied to that player's aspect. If the player is killed while sleeping on their quest bed, or is placed upon the bed a short time after death, they will begin to ascend. At this point, the player's dream self and waking self will both be resurrected and combine, creating a fully realised God. What this means will depend on the player's title, but in all cases the player will find themselves capable of almost complete control over their aspect, with their class affecting the exact nature in which this takes place (potentially limiting their powers, or strengthening them). Regardless of the details, a God Tier player is incredibly powerful. Now, back to Mild.

The usual rush of power which can so often overwhelm new God Tier players, especially those who have not yet climbed to the top of their echeladder, were multiplied by the earth pony's sudden acquisition of wings, and a horn. However, besides the shock of finding himself transformed into a pony of royal stature (not to mention one with godly powers), Mild found that the wings and horn felt as if he had possessed them all his life. His mind was already filled with the knowledge of how to perform magic, and his muscles recalled the process of flight as they shot him upwards into the sky. He did not fail to take note of the bright green hood and coat which he was now wearing, nor of the assembled soldiers who were quietly gathered around the area where he had risen. Unfortunately for them, his audience soon became his first unwitting victims, as he decided to exercise his newfound power. Forcing his way into the minds of the soldiers around him, he found their free will buried deep within them.

And stole it.

***

[shiningSeraphim (ss) ceased pestering malignantRecursion]

After finishing a conversation with a friend of hers, who is entirely unrelated to this story in every single way, Silver's thoughts once again turned to Acapella. Though she found herself in the middle of talking to that pony more often than the others of that particular group, and as such had spoken with her most, Acapella seemed least tolerant of Silver's presence. Silver barely had any chance to get a word in edge ways before being cut off. Presumably, after having that reaction the first few times that "suspiciousSerpent" had changed to Silver, Acapella had come to the conclusion that any prolonged conversation would just be really awkward. And apparently she needed Silver, or at least her other self, to play this game with her. Well, screw her, and screw all of those ignorant ponies. If they didn't want to talk to her, then she didn't want to play with them.

Then Silver occupied her time with some fenestrated planes, carrying out some kind of process that would take entirely too much research and thought to describe accurately. So instead of describing it, let's go check up on Diamond.

Diamond was, at that point, asleep. She didn't know that, but that was because dream selves know very little about anything. They're kind of dumb like that. What she did know was that she was once again on the golden city where she spent the many dark patches of her life. She was also once again wearing the familiar golden dress, and was once again surrounded by the crowds of Prospitans who stepped respectfully aside as Diamond made her way down the street of gold. She could have flown, but completely forgot this.

"Did you hear?" The hushed voice came from a group of Prospitans huddled over in a corner, to the side of Diamond. She stopped and walked towards them, completely forgetting that subtlety is important when trying to eavesdrop. They continued regardless. "The Thief has ascended. That's one up over those Dersite slugs!" There were varied mumbles of agreement, before one of the group spoke up.

"I'm confused. Are the heroes of Derse on our side?" It seemed a fair question, but the older, wiser Prospitan sighed the weary sigh of one who had explained this same point many times.

"Let me lay this out for you. Four heroes of Prospit, four heroes of Derse. As you said, the Derse heroes are on our side. They're just one of the large handicaps Derse is inflicted with, because they're in a prime position to cause some serious damage. But beyond our pointless war, there are other facets of this to consider. The interactions between the heroes is a whole different battle, and in that sense the Thief could be seen as-" He stopped in his exposition as he noticed Diamond standing next to them, nodding happily. "You know what? I think I've said enough. If not too much entirely." He nodded, and the group dispersed around the silly dream pony. The requirement for all game delivered exposition to be frustratingly fleeting takes many forms, and reluctant informants is one of those forms.

Then Silver's dream self stopped being Diamond in time for Diamond's dream self to take over as Diamond while Silver became Silver's dream self.

***

As the monstrosity which had killed him flew off into the depths of the Medium, Mild briefly meditated on their conversation. On the one hand, he did owe that creature his newfound powers. And besides, the terms of his deal had been awfully persuasive. On the other hand, he felt bad about betraying his friends.

Actually wait, what was he talking about. None of his friends really liked him, anyway. Fuck them, he wanted infinite power.

[psychoticDeceiver began pestering fractalAbomination]

PD: Somethings come up.

PD: You want to know about this.

FA: do i? do i really?

PD: Ive gotten past my echeladder.

PD: I have all the levels. All of them.

FA: wait what?

PD: It turns out that theres a way to get beyond the echeladder.

PD: I have reached god tier.

PD: Im basically the best player at this game ever.

FA: :C

FA: wait, so how did you do this?

PD: I got killed.

FA: ... you're right, you're amazing at this game

PD: Quiet. I got killed, but I died on my quest bed.

PD: Which is a thing we all have on our planets, apparently.

FA: right

PD: And because of that, I ascended to god tier.

FA: oh, ok. wow. so what does that mean?

PD: It means I have all of the stats, and Im now a complete master of my aspect.

FA: which is what again?

PD: The thief of mind.

FA: oh, right. like how i'm meant to be the page of time, yeah?

PD: I guess. And anyway, that's not all. I now have wings, and a horn.

FA: wait, seriously? you're a winged unicorn now?

PD: ... a what?

FA: you know, a winged unicorn. like the princesses

PD: Oh, is that what you call them?

FA: idk, does it matter?

PD: Probably not. Anyway, because Im now a lot more powerful than any of us should be at this point in the game, I have an idea.

FA: i'm listening

He then proceeded to tell him his plan in great detail.

***

With great difficulty, Diamond had finally managed to extract herself from the tangled web of what looked like windows, and answered Acapella's urgent call for help while trying to shake from her mind the images of what was beyond the fenestrated walls.

[homelessChicken began pestering suspiciousSerpent (SS)]

HC: HELP!

HC: I SERIOUSLY NEED YOUR HELP RIGHT NOW! PLEASE! <:S

HC: ... Diamond?

SS: OK, I'm here.

HC: FINALLY! Oh gog it's so great to see you!

SS: calm down, and tell me what I'm meant to be doing.

HC: Right, you need to connect to me with your server file, OK?

SS: got it. what's this game even about?

HC: I have NO IDEA, but it's really serious and I'm going to die if you don't hurry.

SS: o_O

SS: just hold on a little longer!

HC: I can't really do anything else, can I?

SS: heh, guess not.

HC: <:/

SS: OK, let's do this.

***SEVERAL HOURS IN THE FUTURE (BUT NOT MANY)***

Having entered her first world gate, Destiny found herself transported from her snowy world to Mild's planet, the Land of Steam and Cogs. It looked pretty cool though, she supposed, even if the steam technology was incredibly silly. How did it even work? Although she didn't approve of her newly alchemised weapon (a sword that was somehow based off of steam technology - what was the point?!?), she couldn't deny its baffling effectiveness. And that had been very useful in aiding her most recent endeavours.

For the past few hours, she had been entertaining herself by competing in LOSAC's highly popular gladiatorial games. It provided a convenient source of both experience and grist, not to mention boondollars. She had earned her group almost three booncases in the time she had spent fighting, and her increasing rungs were more than enough to offset her depleting energy.

[psychoticDeceiver began pestering desertedDestiny]

PD: Having fun?

DD: I guess. It's a bit boring, to be honest, but I'm fine.

PD: You remember I said I got to god tier?

DD: Vaguely, even though I don't know what it means.

PD: It means I have awesome mind powers as well as wings and a horn.

DD: So you're a horned pegasus, then?

PD: ... a what?

DD: You know, a horned pegasus. Like the princesses.

PD: Oh, is that what you call them? Everypony seems to call them something like that.

DD: Why, what do you call them?

PD: Id always thought of them as winged-and-horned earth ponies.

DD: That's just stupid!

PD: Meh. This isnt the point.

PD: The point is that I have power, and so were planning to press the advantage by going to Derse and killing the black queen before she gets to full power.

DD: Cunning.

PD: I like to think so. But Comets got something important to take care of, apparently.

PD: And if we wait too long then itll defeat the point.

PD: So you me and Acapella are heading off to Derse on this Dersite warship that I have... 'acquired'.

DD: OK, sounds cool.

PD: Im going to go and pick up Acapella first because her planets closer, then Ill come and pick you up off my world.

DD: Kk.

[psychoticDeceiver ceased pestering desertedDestiny]

***

Jabbing her cane straight into the nearest Marble Ogre, Acapella once again repeated the process she had steadily been perfecting. Twisting her cane while keeping it inside the underling, and using her magic to make her next actions possible, the unicorn bent down as she lifted the cane above her head, impossibly swinging the ogre up through the air before bringing it down onto the ground. The ground on the Land of Tea and Cake (and Death, as she had taken to adding) was not particularly well suited for use as a weapon, being made of cake and everything, but the force was still great enough to transform the ogre into several large chunks of marble grist.

[mechanicalNoisemaker began pestering homelessChicken]

MN: Hello again my dear

HC: Oh hi! <:)

MN: I will keep this short and to the point

MN: Because this is serious

HC: Absolutely. Everything you say is deadly serious, right?

MN: I know you don't believe me but yes. Yes it is. Anyway

MN: I just thought I'd let you know that Diamond is having one of her episodes again

HC: Yeah, I know...

MN: Which means that I can't get her into the game until she comes back

HC: Oh. OH!

MN: Yeah

HC: <:S

HC: I'm... I'm sure she'll come around. Just give her time!

MN: Well she'd better come around sooner rather than later

MN: Otherwise

MN: We both know what will happen

HC: Yeah...

The noise of somepony calling her name made her look up from her laptop, and turning around she could see an approaching purple warship with a grey winged unicorn waving at her. That was faster than she'd expected.

HC: Oh, gog damn, here's Mild already. I've got to go, so I'll talk to you later, OK?

MN: Yeah sure

HC: Bye!

MN: Bye

[homelessChicken ceased being pestered by mechanicalNoisemaker]

Chapter 11

View Online

A young colt is in his apartment in Manehattan. He's playing a popular multiplayer first person shooter at the moment, and as such is a little too distracted to tell us about his interests. Let's leave him to it and see what we can figure out by ourselves.

His name is Ember Glow, and he is an earth pony with a knack for making things explode. He has a deep love for mindless destruction of all flavours, and is familiar with explosives and chemicals of all varieties. He is the baron of baratol, the monarch of mannitol hexanitrate, the prince of PBX. That said, some of his equipment is scattered about his apartment, and every so often he almost sets something off and scares the shit out of himself. Bombs, he understands. But packing away his equipment so he actually has some space in his apartment? What dark magic is that?!?

He has a tendency to become obsessed with things, to the point where those around him actively try to disassociate themselves with whatever is the current target of his boundless fascination. Because of this, his friends have long since stopped showing him new things, and with no motivation to find anything else to enjoy his interests have stagnated. This is why he is currently playing a first person shooter (that most of his friends view with little more than a certain amount of sentimentality) as though it was the greatest game of the decade - and it was, though that was a different decade entirely.

Despite their better judgement, his friends have invited him to play a game with them. However, due to deciding that the game was probably going to be really stupid and not fun, Ember has declined the invitation. Currently, Summer is preparing to get Diamond into the Medium, and once she has done so it will become too late for Ember to join. As far as he is concerned, this is a good thing. But the universe thinks differently!

After several minutes, the bleeping from his laptop finally caught Ember's attention (although that was more because the match finished than because he had any awareness of the world around him), and he reluctantly rose to check his messages.

[fractalAbomination began pestering mushroomAddict]

FA: ok, i think i've left it long enough

FA: idk if dawn's said anything to you about the game since we spoke about it

FA: but even if she has it hasn't worked, so...

FA: are you going to play the game or not?

MA: nO i ALREADY TOLD YOU

FA: yes, yes, i know. you're scared shitless of this game for some terrible reason

MA: i DONT WANT TO GET KILLED OVER SOME STUPID GAME

FA: just so you know, mild died a few hours ago

FA: and he's fine

FA: so even if you did die, it's not like it matters

FA: there's ways and means to get you back on your feet again

MA: wELL iM NOT PLAYING

FA: >:c

FA: ok, fuck you then. just don't blame me when the shit hits the fan

FA: or in this case, when the meteor hits your house

MA: iM NOT PLAYING SO THERE WONT BE ANY METEORS

FA: then look outside and tell me what you see

Well, Ember didn't see anything wrong with that if it would get Comet off his back. But frankly, Ember didn't really get what was so confusing about all of this. The meteors were there because you played the game. If you didn't play the game, there were no meteors. Simple. He looked out of the window.

MA: fUCK

***

Wait, what was going on?

Suddenly finding herself halfway through a particularly dense tome of macabre lore, Diamond Heart took a moment to readjust herself to where she was and how the world worked. Then she put the book down, trying not to think too hard about what a 'writhing horrorterror' looked like, and walked back over to her laptop. She had no idea how long she'd been gone for, and had already gathered that the game she was going to be playing was incredibly serious business. Her life was at stake if she didn't hurry things up.

[suspiciousSerpent (SS) began pestering mechanicalNoisemaker]

SS: so are we doing this or what?

MN: There you are

MN: Thank gog that was scary

MN: I thought we were going to run out of time

SS: heh, of course not. although I'm not sure...

SS: you know. how long I've got.

MN: No time to lose then

SS: quite.

And so Diamond began entering the Medium. Nothing of note happens until a little later, I'm afraid, so describing it would be very boring. So instead of describing it, let's go check up on Silver.

Silver was, at that point, asleep. She didn't know that, but that was because dream selves know very little about anything. They're kind of dumb like that. What she did know was that she was once again on the purple moon where she spent the many dark patches of her life. She was also once again wearing the familiar purple dress, but now - unlike every other time she had come here - she was not alone.

In the room with her stood a creature entirely unlike anything she had ever seen. Or was it? Something stirred in the depths of her mind, but she wouldn't have been able to recall the details even if she wasn't a silly dream pony at that point. Her half-hearted attempts to remember what she was missing were interrupted, as the creature spoke in a strangely familiar voice.

"So... we meet again, my dear. How have you been?" The voice sounded pleasant enough, although she was more than a little creeped out by its horrific appearance. Not to mention it had been waiting there for her while she was asleep. Eurgh. "Do you remember me, at all?" It leaned towards her earnestly, its oddly shaped eyes betraying a slight fear in this monster. It almost seemed to Silver as though it desperately wanted her to recognise it. Despite her misgivings about the whole situation, Silver found herself able to croak out a response.

"I... maybe." There was something there, she could tell. But at the same time, there was nothing. "Not really." The creature sighed, and nodded.

"To be expected. Never mind, though! You and I have a lot of catching up to do. Follow me." So saying, it turned and leapt through the window of her dream tower, flying down to the planet below. Pausing for a moment, Silver leapt after him. Whether it was because part of her trusted this creature, or whether it was because her dream self was stupid, not even she knew.

***

Placing her cruxite dowel into the totem lathe, Diamond carried out the same actions as many players had done before, after, and at the same time as her, and then retrieved the newly carved totem. Now she just had to take this up to the alchemiter, make the artifact, and she'd be away! And she had a leisurely 3:10 to get it all done in.

Wait, what was going on?

While Silver was accustomed to her house unexpectedly changing without warning, the assortment of large machines which now occupied her home were a few steps too far. And what about this pale purple cylinder? This must be part of the game which SS had been planning behind her back. And on any other day, she would probably have turned off her computer and thrown away this stupid cylinder. Because on any other day, she hadn't had the conversation her dream self had just been having.

Oh look, it was Summer talking to her again. What did she want now?

[mechanicalNoisemaker began pestering suspiciousSerpent (SS)]

MN: Well don't just stand there

MN: We've got to get this done now

SS: Hold on

[suspiciousSerpent (SS) ceased being pestered by mechanicalNoisemaker]

[shiningSeraphim (ss) began pestering mechanicalNoisemaker]

MN: ... fuck

MN: This is not a good time for you to be forgetting where you are

ss: No i know whats happening

ss: Were playing that game that i wanted no part of arent we

MN: Uh...

MN: We might not be

ss: Then what are we doing

MN: OK look

MN: Yes we're playing the game

MN: But if you stop now then you're going to get killed by the meteor which is 3 minutes from your house

MN: So feel free to burn up in the imminent explosion if you'd rather do that

She made a compelling argument, Silver reasoned. Plus she had already been convinced to play this dumb game.

ss: Then lets get started

MN: Really? Great

MN: Here's what you need to do

***

In the colossal void between Skaia and Derse, a lone battleship was making its slow, cumbersome way towards the dark planet. On board were three incredibly bored ponies.

"Are we there yet?" It was not the first time Acapella had asked the question, and it wouldn't be the last. She was Destiny's friend and everything, but as this journey wore on the pegasus found herself thinking increasingly dark thoughts involving Acapella's head.

"No, we're not there yet." To make her point, Destiny aimed a hoof past the front of the battleship they were sailing on, at the miniscule purple dot in the distance. "That is where we are going. This," she pointed down at the surface of the ship. "Is where we are. Note the fact that they are two different places. The reason for this is that we are not there yet, and will continue to not be there yet until 'there' and 'here' refer to the same place." Acapella was silent for a few moments.

"So... are we there yet?" Destiny buried her face in her hooves. This was going to be a long journey.

***

[fractalAbomination began pestering mechanicalNoisemaker]

FA: so i was talking to emmy

FA: merely possessing the patience necessary for that is an achievement, but w/e that's not the point

MN: Then get to the point

FA: i got him to play, so he'll be your server player.

MN: Oh

MN: Really?

MN: Thats good news

FA: is it? i would say something like "you're fucking welcome", but right now i think you need all the luck you can get

FA: it's hardly an enviable position having your life in the hands of a complete moron like him

MN: Why do you have to be such a dick to your friends?

MN: It makes it very hard to cooperate with you like I'm trying to at the moment

FA: hey, it's not my fault he was dropped on his head as a baby

FA: i'm just here to let you know that you have a server

FA: is diamond in yet, btw?

MN: I'd be lying if I said yes

MN: But let's pretend I did because that will be less hassle

MN: She's as good as in

FA: kk

FA: well, ima go check what's up with this weird round platform thingamawhatsit

FA: so cya

MN: Uhuh

[fractalAbomination began pestering mechanicalNoisemaker]

Eventually, the tedious process of translating the turtle ruins had been completed, and the Page of Time had descended further into the depths of his planet. Within the depths, Comet had found himself at a dead end. The twisting network of hidden tunnels had led him towards a room with no other exits, and no contents save for the circular platform. After captchaloguing his laptop, he stepped on the platform, which turned out to be some kind of transportaliser as he emerged into a strange, apparently abandoned, laboratory. He decided to explore.

***

Exploring the laboratory had yielded an astonishing amount of complete rubbish that somepony had stored away in chests, several large containers filled with giant chess pieces, and an awful lot of wires and slime. In the room Comet currently occupied, there were several large machines that he was currently inspecting. The nearest was shaped like a house, made up of four large monitors and a roof, beneath which there was a control panel bearing several large buttons. Currently, only one of these monitors, one in the top right, was active, apparently locked onto a specific point in time and space. The specific point in time and space apparently took the form of a dark blue mare, a pegasus, several centuries earlier. Curious.

Out of morbid curiosity, if nothing else, Comet pressed the central button on the control panel. It was a large blue square, bearing the symbol of four circles linked by a central design. This then began a process which drew his, and our, attention to the other machine in the room.

This other device was comprised of another circular platform beneath an appearifier. To either side of this platform were large machines, both supporting two glass canisters on top of them. After pressing the blue button, the appearifier apparently attempted to appearify the mysterious pegasus. As everypony knows, however, appearifying something from a different time zone, when doing so would create a paradox, instead produces a paradox ghost imprint of that object. The upshot of all that is that instead of a very surprised looking pegasus, the appearifier created a solid green imprint of a relatively calm looking pegasus, which naturally collapsed into a puddle of green slime. Lovely. As Comet watched, a pipe extended from one of the two machines and collected the ghost slime, using it to fill one of the four glass canisters.

Turning back to the monitors, Comet decided to use one of the four green buttons which presumably corresponded to the monitors. He hit the one in the bottom right, and sure enough the related monitor switched on, as the other turned itself off. This, again, was set to a time several centuries in the past, this time locked onto a stallion, a light grey unicorn. Repeating the process, Comet collected this unicorn's ghost slime, and the machine dutifully collected it into the second canister.

Now switching the bottom left monitor, Comet performed the process yet again. This time, the ghost slime was a unicorn, taken from a beige colt who happened to be asleep at that moment in time. Waiting for the slime to be collected, Comet switched to the fourth and final screen in the top left. This one showed a young white filly, standing atop a hill while the village below her was quickly becoming a raging inferno. Although Comet didn't know it, this was due to a recent meteor collision. All he knew was that he was pressing buttons like nopony's business, so he wasted no time in collecting the fourth and final sample of ghost slime.

With all the tubes filled with slime, the machine apparently began an automated process. In the centre of the room, undescribed until now, was a large round platform bearing the same symbol as the blue button he had been pressing. It was on this platform that, with a flash of light, four baby paradox clones were created. From the collected slime, the DNA of the target ponies had been extracted, and replicated, to create four exact clones of the original four ponies. Incredibly exact. And yet, as Comet surveyed the four young ponies, he had a nagging feeling there was something else left to do. Ah yes, there was one last button, a green square bearing the symbol of a portion of DNA.

At this, the glass tubes of slime emptied their contents into the machine below them, where the slime mixed together as another automated sequence began. After it finished, another flash of light created several more babies. To be precise, it created six. A teal unicorn, a red pegasus, a grey earth pony, a green unicorn, a deep blue pegasus, and an orange earth pony. That was... oddly familiar, Comet reflected. Either way, the creation of these ponies was apparently an achievement worth celebrating.

You have advanced three (3) rungs up your echeladder! You achieve the title of 'Ectobiolobabysitter' and receive 1 boonbuck!

Gel Viscosity: +1200!

Cache Limit: +2500!

Intellect Vim: +4000!

Wow. Three rungs in one go, just from making a load of babies? Nice. But still, why were there six ponies who lined up with the members of his group? And who were these other four supposed to be? What about Diamond?

[midnightEclipse began pestering fractalAbomination]

ME: Hello.

FA: oh look, what a fucking surprise

FA: yet another pony i've never met before, who is going to somehow understand everything about me and what i'm doing

FA: please, go ahead and deliver whatever cryptic message you have for me, then reply to all my questions with bs answers about causality

FA: actually don't, just leave, because i have had enough of this nonsense

ME: I wasn't going to.

ME: I just wanted to tell you about those ponies you created.

ME: They're your group.

FA: they're oddly similar to my group, i'll admit, presumably because they're exact clones

ME: Yes, exact clones. Incredibly exact. They're paradox clones.

FA: which means fuck all

ME: Which means that they're literally your group. Later in the game they will be sent back in time, from the perspective of your personal chronology, and will grow up to become you.

ME: The same goes for those other four.

FA: ok. let's pretend i believe you

FA: when do they get sent back

ME: During the Reckoning. Until then, just make sure they can't do any harm. They'll get teleported to the meteors once the Reckoning starts.

FA: what's the reckoning?

ME: Think of it as the endgame. It's nothing you have to worry about for now.

FA: ok. thank you for either being cooperatively helpful, or for at least telling plausible lies

ME: You're welcome.

[midnightEclipse ceased pestering fractalAbomination]

Hm. So these ponies were actually his group? Cool. Now he just needed to make sure they couldn't get - OH GOG WHERE DID PARADOX DESTINY GET A SWORD?!?

***

Sitting back from her computer and wiping her hoof across her forehead, Summer let out a sigh of relief. Diamond/Silver/whatever the fuck she wanted to be called had finally entered, and now she could relax for a few short moments before worrying about who was going to be her server player. It was at that point that she realised she was supposed to be talking with Ember about playing the game. Oh well. It was probably too late now, either way, and she could always get Comet to be her server it if it came down to that.

A new conversation popped up on her computer, but she didn't recognise the username. Who was this supposed to be?

[heliacalDreamer began pestering mechanicalNoisemaker]

HD: HELLO SUMMER!

HD: How are you on this fine day?

MN: Uh...

MN: Who are you?

HD: HEEHEE! You have no idea, do you?

HD: THIS IS AWESOME!

MN: So... uh... what?

HD: Basically, I'm going to be your friend!

HD: IN THE FUTURE!

HD: And you, in the future, told me, now, that I need to give you a message.

MN: What message?

HD: GO OUTSIDE! That's what you said to say, anyway.

MN: There's basically no good reason to trust you

MN: Or even believe you actually met my future self

HD: HA! It's funny that you're doubting me. HIGHLY AMUSING.

MN: Why?

HD: Oh, no, I can't tell you that. JUST LOOK OUTSIDE!

HD: Anyway, got to go! BYE SUMMER!

MN: Goodbye

MN: Goodbye creepy high mystery future pony

HD: :)

[heliacalDreamer ceased pestering mechanicalNoisemaker]

Slowly and deliberately adding 'heliacalDreamer' to her block list, Summer briefly contemplated going outside. But it was probably nothing, and besides she had to get her prototyping item ready. She had been trying to design something which would help her as a sprite, but which wouldn't give the queen a huge advantage, and had settled on a system littered with sensors and other equipment that is better left undescribed, if only because nopony was really sure what it was. The point was that it was going to be cool, if it worked.

On a related note, Summer realised, she was completely out of uranium. Gog damn it. That was what came from building hundreds of battle robots and getting them to fight for her amusement. She supposed that there was probably time to get more from her reserves, if she left now. And really, that was all she could do until it was time for her to enter. Striding over to her front door, she opened it and stepped out into the mid-morning light; almost tripping over the pile of uranium somepony had left on her doorstep.

Oh. Well. That was... convenient? She shrugged, deciding that questioning this turn of events was a waste of time, and quickly brought the uranium inside. A short distance away, two princesses watched from their hiding place. Back inside her home, Summer had the conversation that we already saw. The one that began like this:

FA: so i was talking to emmy

And ended like this:

MN: Uhuh

And then she went to talk with Ember.

[mechanicalNoisemaker began pestering mushroomAddict]

MN: I believe you've agreed to play?

MA: yEAH i GUESS SO

MN: Well then

MN: Let's get this party started

***

The Land of Shadow and Spirit was a strange place. The entire planet seemed to be made out of a thick purple fog, which resolved itself into cliffs and trees as Diamond approached them, then dissolving away again once she moved on. The effect was very disconcerting, not knowing if the space ahead of her was a cliff, or just more solid ground that would appear as she continued forwards. It also meant there were few constant landmarks that she could rely on for navigation, except for the cities where there would always be a certain amount of structure. This kind of nightmare planet was just the type of place she imagined that 'Silver' would get a kick out of. Typical.

[mechanicalNoisemaker began pestering suspiciousSerpent (SS)]

MN: Hey

SS: oh, hey again Summer.

MN: So me and Comet have been working on this upgrade that lets us have group conversations

MN: And also conversations with our past and future selves

SS: I see.

MN: So just switch over to this new version so we can make sure it works

SS: sure.

[mechanicalNoisemaker sent suspciousSerpent (SS) the file "memobeta.~ATH"]

MN: Just start it up and it should work

SS: OK.

[mechanicalNoisemaker ceased pestering suspiciousSerpent (SS)]

Well, this certainly provided a distraction from her terrible planet. Besides, she really didn't talk with everypony enough. Starting up the new program, she was presented with a slightly modified interface that allowed her to join or create memos. There was currently one open already.

[CURRENT suspiciousSerpent (SS) began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

[CURRENT mechanicalNoisemaker began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

CSS: OK, I'm here.

CSS: what's with the 'current' tag?

CMN: Well like I said we can have conversations with ourselves in different time periods

CMN: So it's important to have the distinction

CSS: ah, I understand.

CSS: I mean, that makes no sense and shouldn't even begin to work, but I understand.

CMN: Heh

CMN: This is the memo we're going to be using for making plans and stuff

CMN: So it might be a good idea if we everypony keeps half an eye on it

CSS: so are we all on here?

CMN: Most of us

[FUTURE fractalAbomination began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

FFA: i'd just like to add, because later on in this particular memo we've had problems with this

FFA: that if you see a discussion between a group of us in the future

FFA: it does not concern you, so please have the common sense to leave well enough alone

CSS: like I said, that makes no sense and shouldn't even begin to work.

FFA: if you think you can make a better system, i'd love to hear it

FFA: seriously. this time shit is doing my head in

CSS: also, can i ask, why is this memo called 'team fuckass'?

FFA: that's our team name

FFA: i wanted to choose something which summarised how i felt about you all

FFA: and, taking an average of all of you, this is the result

FFA: if it makes you feel any better, you were one of the ones bringing the average up

FFA: but when you're in the same group as ember, it's really just a losing battle

CSS: O_O

FFA: anyway, that's all, i'm going to try and follow my own advice as much as possible

FFA: later

[FUTURE fractalAbomination stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

Compared with the pointless time nonsense, Diamond reflected, maybe her planet wasn't too bad after all.

In the fog behind her, the creature that had been following her crept ever closer, waiting for the right moment to strike.

***

[fractalAbomination began pestering desertedDestiny]

FA: hey des, guess what

DD: What?

FA: no, guess. go on

DD: I really don't know... what is it?

FA: i made you

DD: ...

FA: no, seriously, i just created all of us. and some other random ponies we've never met, but are apparently our parents

FA: at least, in a confusing ectobiological time paradox kind of way

FA: except for diamond, but i guess she'll come along later in some kind of really convoluted and probably really stupid kind of way

FA: to be honest, it's a little confusing

FA: just think of this as the biggest game of transdimensional blind date ever. that's what this is

FA: and i'm a time travelling cilla black

DD: What are you talking about?

FA: long and short of it is:

FA: we're all related. mostly

DD: Mostly?

FA: yeah

FA: in the interest of keeping temporal / moral obligations to a minimum, that's really all there is to say on the matter

DD: Right...

FA: so yeah, that's interesting

FA: FUCK

Rushing forwards, Comet was barely able to grab Ember before he tried to pick up a sword the wrong way. Picking the baby off of him with his magic, he then strode back towards the small fenced off area he had constructed to store the ponies in. To his faint amusement, even in the confined space Mild had managed to move as far away from the others as possible.

FA: heh, that was close. anyway

FA: how's your little assault on derse going?

DD: We're almost there. It should be fun, I guess.

FA: you are just so pumped about this, i can tell

DD: At least I'm not babysitting.

FA: neither am i. i just need some time to hook a few of these machines together, and then the babies will be taken care of

DD: If you say so. Just don't get us killed, OK?

FA: i can't get us killed. we're living proof of that

FA: there is literally no way i can fuck this up

FA: anyway, just so you know, there's a transportaliser in this ectolab place

FA: which is a much quicker way of getting back into the action, if you're interested

DD: Really? That sounds a lot better than another few hours of confirming that we are not there yet.

FA: C:

DD: Well, I'll speak to you later then.

FA: yeah, ok

[fractalAbomination ceased pestering desertedDestiny]

A faint noise echoed from a few rooms away, and Comet twisted his head around towards the source. He couldn't see any change. Maybe he wasn't as alone as he had thought?

In his distracted state, he forgot about the small series of steps where the floor descended into the pit where he had stored the babies. Finding air where he was expecting solid ground, the unicorn promptly tumbled down the staircase. It was only a few steps, so he was mostly unharmed, but had a brief moment of panic when he realised he had dropped Ember. Quickly getting to his feet and glancing around, however, he saw that the pony was mostly fine, sitting up a few feet away from him rubbing its head with a pained expression. Oops. The irony in this situation was not lost on Comet, who resolved to apologise to current Ember when he got the chance.

***

On this planet, even the underlings were calm. The light of Skaia danced lazily over the open meadows, slipped through the gaps in the trees, bounced off of the trickling streams. Something about the Land of Brooks and Woods just made it feel good to be alive. It was only fitting, Summer mused, that the best pony should get the best world. She watched from her vantage point as an imp strolled happily through the woods, without a care in the world. Just look at that aloof little bastard. He doesn't give a shit about anything. Briefly, Summer paused before firing her rifle, wondering if it was morally wrong to kill enemies as carefree as this.

Then she shrugged, and blew its head off. It immediately exploded, but then she had to walk all the way over to where it had been standing in order to collect the grist it had dropped. Had she been anywhere less calming, she would probably have been quite frustrated about that.

***

With the Black Queen dead, it was with high spirits that Destiny, Acapella, and Mild Darkness entered the ectobiology lab where Comet had told them they could find a transportaliser back to his planet. The unicorn in question was waiting for them.

"So I take it you won?" They confirmed their victory, but he noted Acapella's purple dress. They hadn't succeeded unharmed. "Well, it's good to know your little expedition wasn't a complete waste of time. Now let's go. Something about this place sets me on edge."

"Oh, already?" Acapella sounded thoroughly disappointed. The others gave her a quizzical glance, until she mumbled out an explanation. "I was just wondering if we could see our past selves?" Comet thought for a moment, then shrugged.

"Fine, if you really want to. It's not like coming into contact with yourself makes the universe explode or anything." He then walked out of the room towards where he had kept the ponies, followed by Destiny and Acapella. Remaining behind, Mild then left the room as well, but by a different exit. Once separated from the others, he began his search for Silver Edge. It didn't take him long to find the room that she had hidden herself in, partly because he could see the minds of everypony within a certain radius of himself. He nodded in greeting as he entered.

"Are you ready?" It was barely a question - both of them knew full well that she was ready. Regardless, the unicorn nodded.

Many miles away, on LOSAS, the creature received the signal, and leapt towards its unsuspecting victim.

Diamond barely had time to scream.

***

"Summer!" Summer's ears twitched in recognition as she heard her name being called from the general direction of her home. Glancing back, she was pleasantly surprised to see Destiny soaring towards her. "I skipped ahead a few planets, because I was bored of questing on my own." She explained as she landed next to Summer.

"And you thought to come and help me? How sweet!" Summer grinned, ducking beneath the oncoming sword. "What about the others?"

"Acapella's meeting up with Diamond on LOSAS, and Comet's getting Ember into the game to complete the loop."

"And what about Mild?"

"Uh..." Destiny thought for a moment. Now that she thought about it, she didn't remember Mild transportalising back to LOCAR with the rest of them. "Not sure. Still, he can take care of himself, being a horned pegasus and everything."

"I guess. Anyway, never mind him. There are adventures to be had!" So saying, she took off into the sky, shooting towards the horizon. Allowing herself a brief sigh of resignation, Destiny followed.

***

"Diamond?!?" Once again calling her friend's name, Acapella continued onwards through the shadowy fog, searching for any sign of her friend. "DIAMOND!" She thought for a moment. "SILVER?" Still, there was no response. Unfortunately, neither account was currently logged on, and Acapella had no other way of reaching her. Where was she? "DIAMOND!" She tried again.

"What?" The voice behind her sounded vaguely irritated. Whirling on the spot, Acapella experienced a mixture of shock, relief, and confusion as she took in the sight of her friend. It was Diamond, hovering several feet in the air, wearing a golden dress.

"Diamond? What happened? You... died?" This didn't make any sense, she thought to herself. If Diamond had been killed, then she would be dead unless there was somepony around to revive her. How had she come back?

"Yeah. I just remember hearing a noise behind me, then I turned around, then I woke up in my dream tower. But it's weird, I feel..." she cast around in her mind for the right word. "Liberated. Lighter, somehow." Diamond shrugged. "Anyway, let's go!"

And so the two unicorns continued on into the fog, both of them revived dream selves - one of Prospit and one of Derse. Behind them, the creature checked the updates Mild had been sending it.

PD: Silvers awake, it worked.

PD: Get back here and then Ill be heading back into the Medium.

PD: Once Ive taken care of this ring.

Satisfied, the creature retreated from the adventuring ponies, and began the long flight back to the veil.

***

Sitting down in his home again for the first time in several hours, Comet set up his laptop in a more comfortable position and connected to Ember. He tried not to pay too much attention to what the turtles had done to his alchemiter.

[fractalAbomination began pestering mushroomAddict]

FA: ok, let's do this

FA: fuck, this is nice. it's been way too long since we sat down and played a game together, hasn't it?

FA: the last time we did that must have been...

FA: oh yeah, back when your games were popular

FA: c:

MA: hAHA

MA: tHATS JUST SO FUNNY

FA: yeah well, don't go getting ahead of yourself

FA: let's do this

MA: ok

***

Having received a bandage around his head, the baby Ember was sitting happily in one corner of the small box where Comet had trapped the young players. As Mild approached, none of the small ponies made any particular movement towards or away from him, simply continuing as normal. As he stood over them, however, most of them stopped whatever they were doing and looked up at the God with curious expressions. It was incredibly disconcerting, so Mild decided to get this over with as quickly as possible.

Offering a brief prayer to whatever deity may have been listening, including himself, he attempted to retrieve the queen's ring from his sylladex. Once, long ago, he had spent an afternoon attempting to code his own fetch modus. Sadly, his code was far from perfect, which was the gentle way of saying it was completely and utterly broken, to the degree that he was now incapable of changing the modus. He was stuck with this half-finished inventory system that was just as likely to give him his item as it was to destroy it without a trace.

This time, though, it was cooperative enough to grant him the ring, which he promptly dropped into the box. It landed directly in front of Ember, who picked it up with a slow smile on his face. Job done.

With that, Mild turned and walked away from the group of foals. It was really creepy to have them all looking up at him like that.

***

Standing on the roof of his tower block, Ember Glow neared the end of his entrance. Watching him closely were the two princesses, several blocks over. He could have easily seen them, had he been paying attention, but fortunately for them his attention was focused entirely on the task at hand.

More specifically, the task at hand involved prototyping his kernelsprite. He had been given strict instructions to use something simple and useless, so had managed to dig up an old family heirloom that he had owned for as long as he cared to remember. It was a simple gold ring, adorned with seven orbs. Six of these were glowing a soft white light, while the seventh was a bland grey colour. It probably had some kind of magical power, but as far as he could tell it was just a stupid ring, and prototyping with it would have no negative consequences whatsoever. Several buildings over, Luna turned to Celestia.

"We could stop this, sister. We could stop him right now. Wouldn't that be better?" Luna was almost pleading, and would have been if she didn't know exactly what the answer was going to be.

"Luna, please try and remember what I tell you. We are here, not as a reward, but as a punishment for our errors. We must, and will, do as much as we can to help this world. But we may do no more than that." Celestia sighed deeply. "No matter how much we may wish otherwise."

And so the sisters stood and did nothing, as the hapless orange idiot threw the ring into the kernelsprite.

[FUTURE fractalAbomination began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

FFA: ember.

FFA: i would just like to say, so we have this on record for everypony to see

FFA: you are the dumbest piece of shit who has ever lived

FFA: what the fuck were you even thinking

FFA: were you even thinking i can't tell any more

FFA: you are responsible for everything that has ever gone wrong and ever will go wrong, even the stuff which isn't your fault

FFA: die in a fire

[FUTURE fractalAbomination stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

***END INTERMISSION***

Chapter 12

View Online

"Again, I apologise for how long I have kept you waiting. Pinkie is a very elusive quarry. Fortunately, I have managed to keep her occupied, such that she will be unable to interfere with the story for some time." I smile, and contemplate the party pony in question.

In an entirely different room of my house, Pinkie Pie is confronted by a piece of paper, on which is written: 'There is a map to the land of chocolate on the other side of this page'. However, when she turns over the page, she is instead greeted by the words: 'There is a map to the land of chocolate on the other side of this page'. This keeps happening.

"Now then, I suggest we enjoy the reprieve from her meddling for as long as possible. With that in mind, let us continue where we left our heroes..."

***ACT 2***

Gradually, the darkness began to recede. Shades of light appeared, slowly resolving into colours. The blurred divide between one colour and the next sharpened, the world around her coming into focus as Rainbow Dash wearily opened her eyes. Judging by the decor, and the faint sound of Rarity humming to herself, Rainbow (correctly) assumed she was in Carousel Boutique. But why was she here? Weren't they supposed to be playing Sburb? Wasn't she supposed to be entering? What had-

Visions of fire and rock filled her mind as she recalled the last few moments before everything had gone dark. Oh.

Attempting to rise up from the makeshift bed Rarity had made for her out of pillows and fabric, the pegasus let out a weak cry as pain shot through her wings. Hearing the noise, Rarity was at her side in an instant.

"Rainbow? You're awake?" Obviously, Rainbow thought to herself. But aloud, she simply managed to croak a faint 'yes'. "Oh, thank heavens! We've been worried sick about you! At first we weren't sure whether or not to wait for you to recover, but in the end Applejack had no choice but to carry on."

"Why... how long have I... been out?" Rarity counted in her head for a few moments.

"I... hm, it must have been... yes, about 10 hours or so." She saw the alarm in Rainbow's face. "Oh, but there's no problem! Pinkie became Applejack's server, and got her into the Medium. In a few hours I'll be doing the same for Pinkie, and then Twilight will get the two of us in after that. With any luck you'll be feeling better by then."

"What about... Tank?" He had better have survived, after all of this. And yet the length of Rarity's pause told her he hadn't. "Oh."

"No, I'm afraid he didn't make it. But Applejack decided to use him for her kernelsprite's second tier prototyping. Apparently you can do it twice. So he is technically alive, even if he's just half of a dog turtle ghost... thing." Neither of the two ponies were entirely sure if that was a good thing or not, but at least it was better than no Tank at all. Probably.

"So, what can I do?" Rarity looked shocked at the suggestion, as though Rainbow had asked for the head of her firstborn.

"Oh no, Rainbow, you aren't going to be doing anything! You have to rest, and regain your strength." She silenced Rainbow's protests by stuffing a bundle of hay into the pegasus' mouth. "And that's all I want to hear on the matter." Happily turning back to her sowing, Rarity calmly blanked out the mumbled curses Rainbow was struggling to get out past the mouthful of hay.

***

Although initially the imps had been clambering around Fluttershy, desperately attempting to claw their way through her enchanted armour, they had finally given up when it became clear they weren't powerful enough to harm her. Now they simply sat around, glaring at the pegasus whenever she walked past them. She had, on multiple occasions, tried to make friends with the creatures, but the underlings were naturally programmed to harm the players. Changing that through charm alone was a fool's errand, so instead Fluttershy had simply resigned to work around them.

As had been explained to her by the bear consorts of her planet, she was the hero of Space, and this was the Land of Trees and Frogs. The trees, if a little sickly, were in plentiful supply. In the frog department, however, the planet was somewhat lacking. And so it was her quest to find the frogs, and to reintroduce them to the planet. This would somehow fix the dying trees, apparently. And then, the bears had explained, her sacred duty was to breed the frogs together, to create the Ultimate Being. Whatever that was supposed to mean.

[mushroomAddict began pestering reticentButterfly]

MA: hI

RB: Oh, hello again... Ember, right?

RB: How are you?

MA: uH iM FINE

MA: cOMET WAS YELLING AT ME TO TALK TO YOU THOUGH

MA: aBOUT THE FROG THING

MA: hE SAID IT WAS IMPORTANT

RB: It is, isn't it?

MA: yEAH WELL i STILL THINK ITS STUPID

MA: bUT ANYWAY DO YOU HAVE ANY FROGS YET

RB: Not yet. I'm supposed to go and find them, not that I have any idea how to do that.

MA: iTS PROBABLY YOUR SPECIAL POWER

RB: Oh, no, my special talent is talking with animals! :)

MA: nO i MEAN ITS THE POWER THE GAME HAS GIVEN YOU

RB: Well, I don't know about that.

MA: wELL YOURE ONLY JUST STARTING SO i GUESS THATS WHY

MA: aNYWAY YOU SHOULD PROBABLY JUST DO WHATEVER YOUR CONSORTS TELL YOU TO

RB: Uh... OK.

MA: aND NOW THAT iVE DONE WHAT i WAS ASKED TO

MA: bYE

[mushroomAddict ceased pestering reticentButterfly]

Whoever this Ember really was, Fluttershy thought, he was the picture of helpfulness. What was even his deal?

***

At that moment, Ember Glow's deal was navigating the treacherous landscape of the Land of Shadow and Spirit. The shadowy fog was made all the more dangerous since he had entered, as his less than advisable prototyping had made the underlings truly formidable. Especially when you couldn't see them coming.

Detecting the approaching basilisk with a sense built up from several hours of practice, Ember swiftly retrieved the Large Head-on Collider from his strife deck and began to swing the hammer around him. The basilisk leapt forwards from its hiding place, reaching him just as he brought the hammer towards it with all of his weight behind the swing. The weapon slammed hard into the side of the beast, which was sent sprawling into the fog. Of course, it was nowhere near dead yet. Continuing the momentum of his swing, Ember spun around several more times, before releasing his grip on the hammer and sending it spiralling towards the underling. Once again it shrieked in pain before scrambling to its feet, but Ember wasn't done yet. Switching his strife specibus to his bombkind abstrata, and choosing the first item he happened to find, Ember quickly jumped backwards as he tossed the Schwarzschild's Revenge into the gaping maw of the basilisk. Upon hitting the creature, the grenades detonated, imploding with such force that the each formed obscenely miniscule micro black holes. Due to their size, these instantly evaporated, causing a high energy explosion within the basilisk. Ember had explained the effect of the weapons to Comet, who had simply replied that he was going to lock himself inside and not come out until physics wrote him a sincere apology. All Ember knew was that they were powerful, and even the highly strengthened underlings were severely weakened by it. In this case, the explosions were enough to finish off the basilisk, which dissolved into a mountain of grist. That was one benefit of the incredibly powerful enemies - the rewards were much greater.

You have advanced one (1) rungs up your echeladder! You achieve the title of 'You are a terrible person' and receive 560000 boondollars!

Gel Viscosity: +1000!

Cache Limit: +2250!

Mangrit: +3175!

All things considered, Ember could have done without that. All of the rungs in his echeladder were named something along those lines, insisting how terrible he was at this game. Everything about this game seemed like it was designed to annoy him. Even his planet was terrible, which was why he had left it at the first opportunity. Comet could sit around breeding frogs; this pony had an adventure to be getting on with.

***

MN: I wouldn't go that far

MN: It's just a phase that'll be over soon

OC: Ya seem awfully sure of that.

MN: I have to be

MN: For reasons that should be obvious

OC: Ah suppose.

The austere surroundings of the Land of Secrets and Lies were beginning to get under Applejack's skin. The majority of its landscape seemed to be copied straight out of a cliché horror novel - with its wide stretches of dense forest, punctuated by the occasional manor populated by especially bitter or mysterious crocodiles. Well, the crocodiles were fairly original, she had to admit. Either way, it was a very disconcerting place, and she imagined that she would have gone out of her mind if she hadn't been able to talk to her friends.

And Summer, of course. Applejack hadn't had much experience with this other group of ponies, but Summer seemed amicable enough. She had also been very helpful, and thanks to her Applejack had begun to learn how to use her in-game abilities, which for some reason she currently felt the need to conceal from any potential observers that might be out there. This planet did wonders for paranoia.

OC: Ah just want Pinkie to hurry up and get in the game, so Ah can get off this rock.

MN: Your planet can't be that bad

MN: It's covered in woods, right?

OC: Yeah.

MN: So is mine

MN: It's really nice

OC: Good for ya. Mine has the spooky kind of woods.

MN: Oooh

MN: That sounds like fun

OC: :|

A faint rustle in the bushes behind her caught Applejack's attention, causing her to freeze on the spot as she tried to pinpoint the source of the noise. Anything could happen at any time on this planet, and she had of course noticed the gradual increasing difficulty of fighting the enemies. A twig snapped directly behind her. Spinning around, Applejack slashed the latest addition to her scythekind specibus - Fear the Reaper - across the thing standing behind her. The four legged thing. The four legged thing that bore an uncanny resemblance to - OH GOG, TWILIGHT!

As Twilight was knocked aside by the blow, Applejack dropped her scythe and rushed towards her friend. She was expecting the worst, and as such was already half way to retrieving her My Little Trauma Centre (a curious piece of medical equipment that she had created by combining a first aid kit with a pitchfork - but although its origin was fairly dubious, it worked wonders on most injuries) from her sylladex before noticing that Twilight seemed unharmed. A little dazed, maybe. But as the unicorn picked herself up, Applejack could see that there wasn't so much as a scratch on Twilight's face.

"Twilight? Are ya OK?" That kind of damage resistance was pushing the boundaries of what Applejack was prepared to accept, and at the back of her mind was the growing thought that this may be some kind of trick.

"Yeah, I'm fine, AJ. I don't mean to be condescending, but given our respective levels you couldn't deal any real damage to me even if you tried."

"But y'all haven't even been in this game for that much longer than me. Why are ya so high powered all of the sudden?"

"You mean 'all of a sudden'." offered Twilight, who - patient with Applejack's speech though she was - was not about to let that particular transgression go uncorrected.

"Ah mean all of the sudden." On second thoughts, Twilight reflected, maybe it was better to just let it go.

"Well, the short answer is that I have been in the game for a lot longer than you. I'm from a few days or so in the future, so I'm practically at the top of my echeladder. Technically I shouldn't be here, I'm just passing through and thought that I'd say hello."

"Are ya sure ya can just do that?"

"Probably." Twilight nodded at the visible component of the communication spell, which was patiently hovering to one side while it waited for Applejack to finish their conversation. "I see you're talking to Summer?" Applejack nodded.

"Yeah, she's been mighty helpful."

"Well, good. I don't suppose you've spoken with Comet much?" Applejack thought for a moment. Comet was FA, right? Yeah, that sounded right.

"Not really, just a little bit when Ah first got in. Why?"

"No reason, no reason. Anyway, we've both got a lot to get on with, so I'll see you later AJ. Say hi to Winona/Tanksprite for me." With that, Twilight took off into the woods, leaving a very perplexed farmer standing alone in the mist.

After convincing herself that she was a good distance away from Applejack - or, indeed, anything - Twilight opened up her own spell.

[crespucularMagicant began talking with fractalAbomination]

CM: OK.

CM: You've got some explaining to do.

***

Meanwhile, on Derse, an Artillery Regulator emerged from the palace after very nearly losing his head. Thank gog he had managed to take out two princesses, otherwise the queen would have had him destroyed. Luckily that other pony, their mysterious benefactor, had been there to smooth things over. He was the kind of guy who made you rethink rebellion.

Within the palace, the mysterious benefactor in question was idly rotating a queen's ring through the air. The Black Queen sat watching him, an expression of mild distaste splashed across her otherwise blank face. Behind the throne, towering above the two uneasy allies, a Black King stood proudly displaying his augmented powers for all to see. Not that anyone took notice of him these days, which he wasn't entirely happy about. Maybe he should bring it up? No, that would be silly. It was probably all in his head, anyway. He was a king, after all, and that counted for something. Probably. Still, he remained respectfully silent as the queen said her piece.

"I can't argue with results, but I still have plenty to say about your methods. The heroes have not yet assembled, and we have more power than we could ever have dreamed of. Should we not strike now, especially when we have this oaf to smash Prospit into a thousand pieces?" She absently shook a hand behind her in the king's general direction, which stung a little - though he agreed with her point. The target of her attention was of a rather different opinion, however.

"We have been over this. He is here because we need a diversion. You are here because we need your abilities. And I am here to stop you all from being completely inept and getting taken apart by the champions who are scheduled to arrive in about a days time." Of course, the Black King recalled the talk of the champions which were soon arriving. This raised another point in his mind, which he felt was worth breaking his silence. He spoke, his voice a low rumbling that shook the foundations of the palace.

"And that, pony, is why you are being allowed to live." He would have brandished his sceptre threateningly, but that was impractical given the dimensions of the throne room. "Because you know about these champions, and you can help us to fight them. Never forget that."

Despite all knowledge of how he matched up against the monarch before him, Mild found himself slightly dipping his head.

"Understood."

***

You make the MONOPONY IS ALREADY A PUN!

Over the course of her travels around LOTAF, Fluttershy had spent the vast majority of her time in the villages, where the underlings couldn't reach her (mostly). Consequently she had gotten to know the bears very well, although their conversation seemed highly restricted to salmon and caves. Yet for some reason she had found one bear who had sold her many books concerning the history of the incipisphere, and cryptic riddles involving its future. Among these documents, through which she was currently making her way, Fluttershy had found what was apparently a map of the incipisphere. On a whim - which was partly inspired by a conversation with a certain heliacalDreamer - she had decided to alchemise a combination of the map and a game of monopony, which had resulted in the MAP - Monopony is Already a Pun. Apparently the game was attempting to make a pun based off of the combination, and had decided it was too difficult. She didn't really approve of that practice, but reasoned that it must be quite difficult to comprise puns for any conceivable combination of objects.

Inspecting the MAP, Fluttershy noted that the monopony board had been modified to fit the layout of the incipisphere map, as it was now round and had planets and world gates rather than streets and cities. The route that one took around the board was not made explicit by the design (partly because not even Skaia itself fully grasps the mechanics of gate progression), but that seemed irrelevant. From her vague assumptions of how it worked (which were entirely accurate, almost as if Fluttershy was in some way more suited to making predictions and/or more suited to understanding the workings of spatial anomalies), it seemed that it was a case of simply selecting a location before hitting the domed button in the middle of Skaia. This seemed incredibly useful, if it allowed her to travel anywhere in the incipisphere. Some options were greyed out, however - specifically, those corresponding with Pinkie's planet and Rarity/Rainbow's planet.

[reticentButterfly began talking with crespucularMagicant]

RB: Twilight?

CM: Oh, hey Fluttershy. What's up?

RB: Do you mind if I come over to your planet for a little bit?

CM: Uh... are you sure? I'll be heading to your world in a few hours.

RB: Yeah... I'm...

RB: Well, it's pretty lonely here by myself.

CM: What about Angelsprite?

RB: He flew off somewhere.

RB: I don't know where he's gotten to.

CM: :|

CM: Well, feel free to come over...

CM: Wait, how?

RB: I'll show you when I get there.

CM: Well, OK then.

[reticentButterfly stopped talking with crespucularMagicant]

Selecting Twilight's first world gate, and popping the middle button, Fluttershy let out a surprised gasp/yelp as she was transportalised across the incipisphere, towards the Land of Night and Glow.

***

At first, it had been subtle enough for Destiny to shrug it off as just her mind exaggerating the situation. Over time, though, Summer's advances had grown to be not quite so subtle, and so Destiny had decided to put an end to things before they got out of hand. This is to say, she tactfully explained to her friend that she was not, and never would be, ‘into mares’.

The problem was that Destiny did not entirely understand the concept of being tactful. Nor did she particularly care, as long as it made Summer stand a little further away from her. On an unrelated note, Summer was feeling a little down at that point. Resolving to simply follow Destiny's lead through the Land of Brooks and Woods with a depressed expression, the relaxing atmosphere doing nothing to lift her spirits. The occasional group of underlings, however, provided ample opportunity to vent her anger. Destiny's attempts to cheer her up were simply making things worse, if anything.

"Come on, Summer, I'm meant to be the depressed one." That said, if she was honest with herself, she had been feeling pretty content through the whole game so far. Not that she was about to be honest with herself.

"You're not depressed, though. You just pretend to be because you think it's cool." Well, Summer did have a point. That was the reason that Destiny acted depressed all the time, so she couldn't give much of an argument to that. Summer sighed, disappointed that Destiny had given up so easily. "Well, never mind. I'm going to head back home to get some more ammo, but feel free to paint the town red or whatever." At that, she took off and began flying back the way they had been walking.

[eclecticSage began pestering desertedDestiny]

ES: HEY

ES: what's going on?

DD: Oh, hey again. You're the guy who was talking to me about axes or something, weren't you?

ES: oh yes, AXES. but that's not why i'm here now!

DD: Then why are you here?

ES: i'm here because i want...

ES: I WANT...

ES: to play...

ES: a....

ES: ..........

DD: ...

ES: GAME

DD: Wow, I did not see that line coming.

ES: ^^

DD: But OK.

DD: What kind of game?

***

[adamantineCorsair began talking with insanityPrelude]

AC: Ahem.

AC: Pinkie?

Persistent though they were, the communication spell's bleeping noises were incapable of penetrating the thick shell of defeat that Pinkie Pie had fallen into. The bright pink earth pony was lying on her back in the midst of a ring of half eaten cake, an expression of hurt and anger on her face as she glared up at the ceiling. Both Pinkie and Rarity had been affected by losing their dream selves, but Pinkie had taken the blow somewhat harder. Maybe it was because she had been awake longer. Maybe it was because Rarity was better at hiding the pain. Regardless, all Pinkie could think about now was the wondrous dreams that would never be repeated, the friends she would never see again, the life she had left behind. The dreams, Twilight had explained to her, were on the golden planet that was in the game world. But even if she revisited the city of gold, it wouldn't be the same. In her current state, it was a miracle in itself that she had been able to act as Applejack's server player. She was definitely in no fit state to play the other end of the connection with Rarity.

AC: Pinkamena Diane Pie, get up off that floor this instant!

AC: This is no time for despair, and you should know that better than any of us!

Blarg. With a world weary sigh of mild aggravation, Pinkie reached out and checked the messages Rarity was sending her. She knew that the unicorn was right, and that she was no use to anypony if she sat around moping all day. Or if she was killed by a meteor, for that matter.

IP: Uuuuuuurgh....

IP: Can't it wait?

AC: It most certainly cannot. Now get to it.

IP: FIIIIIINE.

Slowly and painfully picking herself up off of the floor, Pinkie Pie began the process of setting up Sburb.

***

On the other side of the newest client/server connection, Rainbow Dash watched with vague disinterest as Rarity set about deploying the necessary machines into Pinkie's home. It seemed like a lot of bother to go through with, especially when there was very little use for the machines besides making stupid combinations of existing items.

"Urgh, can't we make this go any faster? I mean, are we really going to have to wait for six hours before we can get into the game?" The idea of spending six hours sitting around Carousel Boutique watching Rarity sowing was not incredibly appealing, to say the least. Six hours was at least twice as long as ten hours if you were conscious.

"Well, I don't know, you'd have to talk to Twilight about that. But if you want something to do, you may as well go and get used to your wings again." Rarity made no attempt to make the suggestion appealing - she just wanted Rainbow to stop pestering her, and it showed. Sighing dramatically, Rainbow strode out of the shop.

"Fine. If you need anything, I'll be on my back in a ditch writhing in agony."

***

In the Land of Night and Glow, Twilight and Fluttershy were returning to Glowmire after a particularly drawn out series of quests. Strangely, although this was Twilight's world, it seemed as though the game had intended for Fluttershy to spend some time on the planet as part of her quest. In the heart of a temple which contained a powerful artifact they had been sent to retrieve, they had found a large statue of a frog. Underneath this was a small glass orb, which Twilight had been unable to operate. Fluttershy, however, had found that the orb allowed her to see anywhere in the incipisphere.

"You know, Fluttershy, I've been thinking about your quest." Twilight mentioned casually, as the two of them walked the familiar path through the hills. "You're the Seer of Space, aren't you?"

"Yes..." At least, that was what the bears back on LOTAF had called her. "Why?"

"Well, that means your quest is to learn what it means to be a Seer of Space. So maybe what it wants you to do is, literally, see space. You've got that MAP, and now that crystal ball thing..." Fluttershy nodded for Twilight to continue. "I'm just thinking, maybe you're supposed to be visiting all of the planets, and complete a little part of your quest on each one. So, on my planet you got that crystal ball, and you'll do something else on all the other planets, and then you can get back to whatever your quest on LOTAF is actually about."

"Do you think so?" It seemed a bit far-fetched to Fluttershy. Then again, so was this whole game.

"I don't know for a fact, of course, but it seems like a good course of action for you. Especially since I'm moving onto your planet now, so it seems like maybe we're supposed to part ways at this point?"

"Oh... I guess that makes some sense." Fishing her MAP out of her fetch modus, Fluttershy considered the board. "I guess I'll be going now, then?" Twilight nodded.

"Yeah, I'm just going to take the gate back home, and then move over to your planet. I'll speak to you later, OK?"

"OK." Fluttershy watched uncertainly as Twilight walked confidently into the city, and then turned her attention back to the game board. Applejack was the only other option at this point, as Pinkie and Rarity still had yet to enter the game. Selecting the Land of Secrets and Lies, Fluttershy once again experienced the uncomfortable sensation of being transportalised across the wide expanse of the Medium.

***

[fractalAbomination began pestering mechanicalNoisemaker]

FA: hi

MN: Oh

MN: Hey Comet

MN: Listen, did I ever...

FA: what?

MN: Did I ever tell you

MN: ...

FA: tell me what?

MN: That you're... what's it called...

MN: You're just really... uh...

MN: Fuck it, I don't know

MN: The point is that I'm insulting you

MN: You should be feeling burned right about now

FA: oh, i am. where do you even get burns like that it's basically insane

MN: What do you want

FA: des told me you ran off a while ago and haven't come back yet

FA: why are you sulking

MN: I'm not

FA: bullshit

FA: why are you sulking

MN: I just have a lot of stuff to deal with right now

FA: oh gog, you're drunk, aren't you

MN: No

FA: where the fuck did you even find alcohol. seriously, holy shit

MN: HEY

MN: JUST SHUT UP

MN: I'm fine

MN: And sober

FA: in that case, can you sort your shit out and get a fucking move on

FA: the reckoning could start at any moment, and when that happens

FA: i will give even less of a shit whether you're hormonal or drunk or whatever it is you're being atm

MN: >:(

FA: just get to work already

[fractalAbomination ceased pestering mechanicalNoisemaker]

***

AC: Pinkie, now is not the time for this. We only have three more minutes!

IP: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

IP: But... he's... HAAAAAAAAAA!

AC: Pinkie! It is NOT that funny!

IP: But he's Gummysprite! Ha!

AC: Yes, I know that. The same thing happened to Winona and Tank when Applejack entered, and you didn't burst out laughing then.

IP: I'm sorry, it's just... the look on his face... it's priceless!

While the pink party pony was rolling around the floor of Sugarcube Corner in fits of laughter, Gummysprite hovered next to her with a blank look on his face. Every so often the floating pink alligator would blink slowly, his eyelids ever so slightly out of sync with one another. Some ponies would find it disconcerting. Pinkie found it hilarious.

AC: OK, fine, but can we laugh about it when you're not about to die?

IP: Urgh, fiiiine.

AC: Good.

***

[CURRENT fractalAbomination created a new memo TEAM NUBLET on board TEAM CHAT]

[CURRENT crespucularMagicant began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

CCM: OK, what's this all about?

CFA: oh, great, you got the time thing working

CCM: Eventually. That was a lot of work!

CFA: yeah, well it's your own fault for making a chat client from scratch with magic and stuff

CCM: As opposed to what, exactly?

CFA: nvm.

CFA: anyway, to help sort our shit out, my group is one team, and your group is another team. both teams have a memo each, on this board, which they can use to plan and stuff

CFA: that way we have a standardised system for where to go if we have a message for the whole of either group

CCM: Right...

CCM: Wait, we're "Team Nublet"?

CFA: yes. it needed to be something which reflected your group as a whole, so i looked at the things which you all have in common

CFA: which is that you're all terrible gamers

CCM: Hey! I'm not that bad at this game!

CFA: who is it who's only just gotten onto their server's planet?

CCM: You started before me!

CFA: true. but i still didn't take that long

CFA: anyway, the name is arbitrary, it doesn't matter

CFA: the point is, tell your friends about it and then maybe we can have some sort of meaningful system

CCM: Fine.

[FUTURE heliacalDreamer began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

FHD: Great, you've made Nublet's memo.

FHD: YAY!

FHD: Now can you please hurry up and make my group's one?

CFA: no

FHD: WHY NOT?!?!?

CFA: because i hate your group, because you don't talk to me

CFA: except ME, she's cool

FHD: Oh, you did not just say that.

FHD: FUTURE YOU IS GOING DOWN.

CFA: come at me sis

FHD: Graaaaargh!

[FUTURE heliacalDreamer stopped responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

[FUTURE fractalAbomination began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

FFA: thanks for nothing, fuckass

[FUTURE fractalAbomination stopped responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

CFA: argh, whatever. this is taking up too much of your memo

CFA: enjoy it, and you're welcome, and blah blah blah

CFA: i'm leaving. if you want to say anything then say it in a private chat

CCM: I'm sure I will. Not.

CFA: c;

[CURRENT fractalAbomination stopped responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

***

After a few hours, Rainbow had slowly gotten her wings used to flying again. Maybe the long gap between entries was a good idea, since there would be little chance for practice once they got in. They would have to hit the ground running. Or flying. Or whatever. She was currently circling above Ponyville, where a large storm was gathering. With all but one of the weather team evacuated, the clouds had gathered unchallenged, and spun violently around the pegasus as she darted in between them. Despite the risks, Rainbow was enjoying this. Too many clear skies made you lazy, but this... this was flying.

Rainbow's flight was interrupted, however, as she burst beneath the cloud layer and spotted a cloaked pony walking through Ponyville. Who, in the names of Celestia and Luna, was in Ponyville at a time like this? Didn't they know it was only about four hours away from being completely obliterated by a meteor? She dipped sharply, accelerating ground-wards to land directly in front of the pony.

"Alright, what do you think you're doing here?" the question was out of her mouth before she had taken a proper look at the pony before her. "Ah! I, uh..." Princess Luna simply laughed softly.

"Our apologies for intruding, Rainbow Dash. We did not realise there was a curfew in Ponyville." She thought for a moment. "Or that it would apply to a princess, even if there was."

"I... sorry."

"No matter." Luna smiled warmly, allowing Rainbow to relax slightly. "We did not come here to cause trouble, we can assure you. We came to wish you luck on your quest." Cogs spun in Rainbow's mind. Right, it was Princess Celestia who had told Twilight about this game in the first place. Of course Luna must know about it. That made sense. "And we have a gift..."

On some abstract plane slightly removed from reality, Luna rolled the five dice of her Yahtzee fetch modus. Her sylladex contained seven captchalogue cards, each of which was assigned to a different combination of dice rolls. When captchaloguing items, she would roll the dice and assign them to the corresponding card. To retrieve the items, she merely had to roll the equivalent. While on any other occasion this could potentially take forever, this time Luna had wisely placed the needed item in her Chance card - whatever she rolled, she would be able to access it. As it happened, she rolled three 6's, but she was still able to score the roll as a Chance and retrieve the item.

"Here." The princess levitated the gift towards Rainbow - a solid golden ring bearing 16 glowing white orbs. "This is a treasure beyond value - it was stolen from us many centuries ago, but by some twist of fate we have found it again. We would like you to take it, in the hopes that it will serve you well in your coming trials." Had Rainbow been watching Luna more closely, she might have seen the faint unease in the horned pegasus' expression. Unfortunately, she was far too captivated by the ring as it spun in mid-air.

"Wow. Thanks, Luna! I'm sure-" the ring suddenly dropped into her hoofs; the magical aura around it had disappeared. Looking around, Rainbow realised that Luna had gone, disappearing into the stormy skies. Dispelling the feeling of loneliness that suddenly filled her, Rainbow stored the ring in her own sylladex, and took off for Carousel Boutique.

***

"Did you give her the ring?" A brief nod answered Celestia's question, as Luna entered the throne room. "Good."

"Why did we have to do this, sister? How much pain could be stopped if we had simply kept the ring?" It was an argument they'd had before, and one which Luna felt they would have again many times. But of course Celestia's answer never changed.

"Because, Luna, what has happened, and what will happen, is something that we cannot change. We had our chance, and now we can do nothing but ensure that the victors are able to achieve their reward. Things must happen as they have happened, you know this."

"Yes, we know." Luna decided to change the subject. "What will we do with the evacuees from Ponyville, after the town is destroyed?"

"We'll start again." Her reply came after barely a moment’s thought, the answer obvious to her. She gave a hollow laugh as she considered the similarities between Ponyville, and her own fate. "It's something of a recurring pattern, isn't it? No matter how hard we may try, eventually our work is wiped out by some freak event. And so we try again. On and on, countless attempts, never failing to get things slightly wrong." Celestia shrugged. "We're lucky that there are any victors at all. At least we can take some relief from that."

"It's not fair, though."

"No. No it isn't."

Chapter 13

View Online

In the centre of Skaia, the Battlefield had changed greatly from its days as a 3x3 chessboard on which two kings sat locked in eternal stalemate. Now, with seven prototypings, the planet on which the two armies fought was now a complex system. In addition to the central sphere which was now littered in mountain ranges and oceans, the entire planet was surrounded by a tangled ring of rock amongst which the two armies waged battles for air supremacy. Further afield than this surrounding ring, the Battlefield had two moons which orbited. One of these moons had its own little moon.

At this stage in the fight, even those who did not know that the army of Darkness was always going to win would be able to see the clear victor. The skies were dominated by the army of Darkness, and the White King stood over the one patch of the Battlefield which the army of Light still controlled. The most generous estimates wouldn't have given the White King more than a day left to live.

In reality, he had all of five minutes, as a powerful and twisted creature neared the Battlefield.

***

In the midst of the Land of Shadow and Spirit, Acapella and Diamond Heart were both extremely bored. They had been struggling with the shadowy maze they were currently stuck in for over two hours, and it was beginning to get them down. Diamond suspected that the maze was actually changing shape around them as they continued onwards. Acapella suspected she was right.

Then something happened to alleviate the boredom - but that only added to the confusion.

[suspiciousSeraphim (Ss) began pestering homelessChicken]

Ss: Hello!

HC: Oh, hey... uh...

HC: Wait, what?

"Hey, Diamond. Come have a look at this." Beckoning her friend over to her laptop, Acapella pointed a hoof at the name of this new pony, whoever it was. Unfortunately pointing a hoof at one line of text was the same as pointing a hoof at anything else on the screen, but luckily Diamond was able to gather her meaning.

"But... isn't... wait, no, I'm suspiciousSerpent."

"Yeah, and your... uh, I mean..." Acapella thought about it for a moment. "Silver Edge's name is shiningSeraphim."

"Right. So... who's this?" There was already one too many double S's running around, in Diamond's opinion. That said, ever since dying she had remained as Diamond - so that was one benefit, she supposed. Plus she could fly now, which was awesome.

HC: I hope this isn't too forward, but...

"Stop being so polite." Diamond chided her friend. "Whoever they are, they're suspicious. They can't be trusted!" Acapella decided to let that particular thread of logic go. It wasn't worth the argument.

HC: What's your name?

Ss: I'm Silver Heart!

Well, wasn't that just perfect. Diamond and Acapella both turned to look at each other, the former covering her face with her hooves.

HC: Uh... OK, um...

HC: Why are you talking to me?

Ss: Because all the other ponies in my group are talking to you guys, so I figured I may as well join in the fun!

HC: Right...

HC: I suddenly understand nothing.

***

"I'm back!" Rainbow Dash called as she returned to Carousel Boutique, shaking the rain off of her feathers - and making sure to get as much of it as possible on the dresses Rarity had lined up near the entrance. It wasn't like she'd need them, anyway. In any case, Rarity only gave a vague murmur of recognition as she concentrated on her current task of building Sugarcube Corner. "So, Pinkie got in OK, yeah?"

"Hm? Oh, yes, she's fine. Finally." Glancing over at the clock on the wall, and quickly making a few calculations, Rarity hummed thoughtfully to herself. "Two hours, and it's our turn."

"Yeah. I suppose I should talk to Twilight, and make sure she's ready, right?" Rainbow waited for a response, but Rarity had already gone back to focusing on the building. Apparently she was finding it incredibly thrilling for whatever reason. "Yeah, I'll do that."

[prismaticAscension began talking with crespucularMagicant]

PA: Hey Twilight.

CM: Rainbow! Hi!

PA: What's gotten you so excited?

CM: Well, I'm kind of-ARGH!

CM: Multitasking!

PA: :S

PA: Should I come back later?

CM: No! This is... fine...

CM: What did you want?

PA: I just wanted to check when you're going to be able to get us in.

CM: Oh, right! Well, I'm...

CM: Hold on.

CM: This is going to require a bit of concentration.

***

[FUTURE suspiciousSerpent (SS) began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

FSS: hey, Comet.

FSS: specifically, Past Comet. Past Comet who's reading through this memo right now, answer.

[CURRENT fractalAbomination began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

CFA: i assume you mean me, because that makes no sense and apparently it is the job of future selves to cause self-defeating time loop bs

FSS: correct, on all counts. anyway.

FSS: just so you know, our Reckoning has started, as of a few minutes before where you are on the timeline.

CFA: seriously?

FSS: yeah. but none of us had any idea because you'd left the foals to their own devices. they've now been sent on their way, as part of the meteor barrage currently heading for Skaia.

FSS: we only know because I'm telling you now.

CFA: oh. ok, that makes sense

CFA: thanks, i guess

FSS: no problem.

[FUTURE suspiciousSerpent (SS) stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

CFA: ok everypony, you heard the lady

CFA: action stations right the fuck now

CFA: just when you thought shit couldn't get any real

CFA: it just did

[CURRENT fractalAbomination stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

***

DD: Remind me again, how did you make this?

ES: ok, BASICALLY

ES: i combined your sword with a legendary umbrella

DD: Seriously?

ES: yes

DD: XD

DD: OK, I'm going to go test this thing out.

After some experimentation, it had been discovered that the bladekind abstrata which Destiny used would accept any weapon that was technically any kind of blade - however slight the similarity. Using the latest code which ES had sent her, Destiny had produced her newest weapon which she was now testing. It was a slightly more traditional sword, in contrast with the other weapons which had mostly been a variation on the theme of 'sword with x attachment' - where x had covered 'sniper rifle', 'door handle', and everything in between. Confronting the Ochre Gliclops that she had finally tracked down, Destiny once again called upon her powers. Using the might of her ragey thing to focus her own ability and disrupt her opponent, the pegasus became a flurry of sword and more sword as she dodged around the gliclops. Unable to focus enough to actually hit her, the gliclops roared helplessly as Destiny gradually knocked away at its substantial health - until it was sufficiently weakened.

Half jumping, half flying above the gliclops, she drove the blade downwards into its skull. Now, it was time to test the latest improvement to her weapon. Pushing in the button on the hilt and dragging the handle backwards, the blade opened outwards within the gliclops, its serrated edges tearing at the inside of the underling. As Destiny finally dragged the Killing in the Rain out of the gliclops, the blade was compressed back into its sheathed form, and the gliclops collapsed onto the ground before dissolving into a small pile of grist.

DD: And that, children, is why you should never open an umbrella inside.

ES: HA

ES: WOW

ES: that was awesome!

DD: It really was.

DD: Wait, you can see what I'm doing?

ES: um

ES: yes. didn't you know that?

DD: No! Can all of your group see us, then?

ES: well, YEAH

DD: Oh.

DD: I'm... not sure how I feel about that.

ES: well never mind, it's NOT that big of a deal

DD: I guess.

DD: Anyway, this umbrella sword is awesome, thanks!

ES: ^^

ES: no problem, but i should go now

DD: Yeah, OK.

ES: BYE

[eclecticSage ceased pestering desertedDestiny]

"Destiny?" Captchaloguing her laptop and turning around, Destiny was fairly surprised to see Summer standing before her, looking thoroughly repentant. "Uh... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for leaving for so long, and that we can go and take care of my denizen now. If, uh... if you wanted to." Well, it had taken her long enough to show up. Still, it was better late than never. Destiny nodded.

"Yeah, let's go!"

***

"Hey, Comet." The casual greeting seemed almost surreal when it was being delivered by a God. Regardless, Comet responded to Mild's arrival with a vague nod of recognition. "Having fun?" The God inquired, although he probably knew the answer already.

"Not really. I wouldn't mind the frogs so much if it wasn't for the underlings I have to deal with whenever I venture outside." Come to think of it, he thought, it was odd that Ember hadn't liked adventuring on his planet. The enemies were completely unstoppable thanks to his stupid prototyping. "Speaking of which, you could - by which I mean you're going to - help me out."

"Actually, I'm afraid I have business to take care of on LOSAC. Somepony has to take out my denizen, after all."

"Oh, yeah." Right, Comet thought, the denizens. As he had come to realise from the hushed whispers of consorts throughout the Medium, each of the six planets in their session had a large, powerful creature that controlled the underlings. Sooner or later each of them needed to deal with their denizens in order to win the game, through some strange game mechanic that made even less sense than the frog thing. "I'll need to deal with Hephaestus as soon as I'm done here, now that I think about it."

"True. But in any case, I have somepony here who can help you." Gesturing for the pony that had been hiding in the trees behind him to come forward, Mild stepped to one side to reveal... was that Diamond? "This is Silver Edge." Well, he was almost right.

"Oh." Inside Comet's head, he quickly double checked that one plus one did indeed make one, when divided by two. Satisfied, he began to question exactly what Mild had just said. "I thought that Silver Edge was just Diamond in crazy mode." At that, Mild laughed, and Silver shot both of them an angry glare.

"Not quite. It turns out that both Diamond Heart and Silver Edge are two entirely separate entities, who until recently have been... 'sharing', shall we say, one body. However, after that body was killed on LOSAS, we now have two fully individual dream selves. Diamond is adventuring on LOSAS with Acapella, as you know. And I discovered Silver on Derse after we killed the Black Queen."

"Right. That makes sense. So, is she in the group, or what?" Acceptance was probably the easiest way to deal with this turn of events, Comet decided.

"Yes, of course I'm in the group!" Silver said, apparently almost hurt by the idea that she might not be in the group.

"OK, fine. Well if you really want to be in the group, then I guess you can stick around here and help me breed frogs." It wasn't the most appealing job, Comet had to admit. And in all fairness, they had kind of forced Silver into this game by getting Diamond to play. But at least it would be more fun with two ponies.

***

"Hello? Is anypony there?" It was just her imagination, Applejack tried to tell herself. There was nopony out here, besides her. She couldn't have just heard a faint rustling in the bushes, or seen a shadow darting through the fog. That was just ridiculous. But gog damn it was unnerving.

Suddenly, Fluttershy.

With a yelp of surprise, the pegasus suddenly appeared directly above Applejack, sending both ponies crashing to the ground in a tangled heap of pony and shrub. Seizing the opportunity, unknown to both ponies, the creature that had very nearly been discovered sprinted off into the fog, leaving Fluttershy and Applejack to pick themselves up.

"What in tarnation was that about, Fluttershy?" If there was any anger in Applejack's voice, it was more because of the sudden terror of having an unknown pony fall onto you than because of any injury. "Ya can't just go around jumping on ponies that are clearly on edge!" Fluttershy, already embarrassed by the whole event, now bent even lower to the ground, hiding behind her mane as she always did in such situations.

"I'm really, really sorry Applejack! I just pushed the button and it... I'm sorry." One baleful eye warily emerged from the side of her mane as the pegasus tilted her head, swiftly removing any remaining frustration towards Fluttershy that Applejack may have had. Nopony could ever stay mad at Fluttershy, after all. Applejack sighed, reaching a hoof out to help Fluttershy back up to her feet.

"That's alright, sugarcube. But what are ya doing out here anyway?"

"Oh, I'm apparently supposed to be going all around the Medium as part of my quest to find frogs." She paused, looking around the dense forest they were both standing in. "I don't suppose you've seen any frogs around here?" A short distance away, a twig snapped.

"Can't say Ah have. Ya could try asking the folks who live round here, but it wouldn't help." The Land of Secrets and Lies certainly lived up to its name, to Applejack's continued annoyance - every single piece of information was locked away behind countless riddles and side quests. Nopony gave anything for free on this planet, and what they did give was probably stolen. Needless to say, the element of honesty found it a wholly terrible place to be.

"Oh. Well, maybe I could just help you out for a little bit?" Now that was an idea that Applejack could get behind.

"Sure! It'd be nice to have some company. And besides..." Taking a few steps forward, Applejack quickly looked around to check their surroundings before whispering into Fluttershy's ear. "Ah don't think we're alone."

***

Having left Comet and Silver behind in the Land of Joy and Frogs, Mild used the opportunity to send a few messages to his supposed ally.

PD: I couldnt help but notice you killed the white king.

PD: That was a bit stupid of you.

PD: Yes it makes no difference I realise that.

PD: But even so you should have at least talked to me about it.

His ally never responded to his messages, so Mild began closing his laptop immediately after finishing his little rant. Suddenly, however, he stopped, as the bleep of a new message caused him to reopen his laptop. Although simply printing the reply would waste perfectly good dramatic tension, the message itself was clear.

The next time you try and tell me how to do my job...

You'll wish you could die.

For a few moments, Mild hovered in the middle of the Medium, currently several miles away from his planet. Panic swept over him. Was this just a threat, or was this a closing of their agreement? Should he be worried about this? What if he'd been a complete idiot in making this deal in the first place? His laptop bleeped again, and - after a quick prayer - he checked the message.

Lol.

***

Completely oblivious to the killer who was currently stalking her, Pinkie Pie happily bounced around the small village her first gate had taken her to. She had only been in the Land of Presents and Laughter for a few hours, but she was already in love with the planet. Everywhere she looked in the village there were hedgehogs with huge sacks filled with presents, addressed to anyone and everyone. The whole planet seemed to be littered in cakes, and balloons, and all of the things which were the best things. Best. Planet. Ever.

Hiding in the hills of presents, slowly edging closer to his prize, the Artillery Regulator watched as Pinkie happily danced around the village. Although she appeared carefree, he knew that she was one of the most dangerous of these ponies. The chances were she already knew exactly where he was, and was allowing him to live for her own amusement. Something about that made the regulator double check his equipment.

There are few feelings more unnerving than being scared of a bright pink pony.

***

[CURRENT fractalAbomination began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

CFA: there

CFA: we're finally done with the frog

CFA: i'd like to give a shoutout to silver, she's been very helpful, and i mean that genuinely. this took a lot of effort

CFA: but in the end it was all worth it

CFA: look at that glorious tadpole. look at it

CFA: he doesn't give a shit about everything, swimming around in that little goldfish ball

CFA: lucky bastard

CFA: anyway, the frog is done, so me and silver are heading off to my planet to take out my denizen

CFA: unless i have to deal with emmy's denizen as well because he is the most FUCKING USELESS HERO OF SPACE IN THE HISTORY OF CREATION

[CURRENT mushroomAddict began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

CMA: hEY iM GOING TO KILL MY DENIZEN YOU DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT

CFA: oh of course, it's a great quest when it involves just smashing stuff, then you're all over that quest

CMA: nOT MY FAULT THAT THE FROG THING WAS STUPID

CFA: i'm past the point where i actually believe any good will come of arguing

CFA: so whatever. if you want to kill your denizen then that's fine

[CURRENT homelessChicken began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

CHC: I thought we weren't supposed to kill the denizens?

CHC: Mine was quite helpful, once he'd settled down.

[FUTURE fractalAbomination began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

FFA: yeah, there's a variety of ways that the denizens can be dealt with

FFA: i talked to mine, and got a badass weapon out of it. i can't use it, but still

FFA: i mean, i just had to solve a few riddles and then he forks over like 801 metric fucktons of grist

CFA: really? is it that easy?

FFA: yeah man. just go and take care of it

CFA: ok

[CURRENT fractalAbomination stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

FFA: heh, poor bastard

CHC: <:D

FFA: so anyway, deal with them however you want, but i guess charging ahead and killing them is another option

CMA: wELL THATS WHAT i DO BEST ISNT IT

FFA: yes, yes, now go and kill your giant space lizard woman

FFA: or whatever it is. as for the rest of you lot, you'd better clean up your planets and move out as quickly as possible

FFA: finish your quests, kill/talk/whatever your denizens, then you can all meet up on skaia

FFA: i'll have seen you there

[FUTURE fractalAbomination stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

***

CM: Hold on.

CM: This is going to require a bit of concentration.

Emerging on the Land of Trees and Frogs many hours ago, Twilight had been greeted by the bear consorts and taken to their village. Over time, she had been tasked with numerous quests to help the villagers in some way or another, which had eventually culminated in her current quest - joining the bears in driving back the underlings to the caves beneath the planet. After that, it would be easier for Fluttershy to perform her frog duties - as the underlings were programmed to attack frogs on sight. At that exact moment, Twilight was confronting a large Granite Lich. The bears all around her were keeping the remaining underlings preoccupied, leaving the unicorn to deal with the most powerful underling. She wasn't sure if the lich had any kind of magic of its own, but she did know that it was going to take a lot of effort to take it out. Fortunately, she had come to this fight prepared.

Drawing the latest addition to her strife deck, the Murder, She Wrote (the latest in her series of sword/quill combinations), Twilight surveyed her surroundings as she rushed towards the lich. There were few trees in this area, the gap between bear and underling territory, and the landscape was covered in a thick layer of compacted ash. There wasn't really anything she could use. Luckily, she didn't need to rely on her environment any more.

Reaching the lich, and quickly jumping to one side as it almost succeeded in crushing her beneath its foot, Twilight opened up the Historically Accurate which she had been floating beside her. Although she had owned this large history book since the first few hours of the game, it was only recently that she had discovered the extent of its time powers. Maybe because before she hadn't been trying to, or maybe because only now were her time powers strong enough, but now Twilight was capable of using the book to send herself backwards or forwards in time by small amounts. Which was just enough for what happened next.

Twilight leapt towards the lich, stabbing it with her quillsword. Then she took a quick step to the left and sent herself a few seconds back in time. Then she carried on doing this.

To the casual observer, about eighty Twilight Sparkles leapt forwards and stabbed the lich, stepped to the left, and then seventy nine Twilight Sparkles disappeared. The one remaining Twilight then jumped upwards to be eye level with the wounded lich, before quickly decapitating the underling with her quill.

As the bears pushed forwards, some of them giving triumphant cheers as they went, Twilight remembered she was talking with Rainbow Dash.

CM: I'll get back to you in an hour.

PA: OK.

[prismaticAscension stopped talking with crespucularMagicant]

***

The seventh of the gates suspended above Summer's house had led deep within the Land of Brooks and Woods, to a hidden network of underground caverns. Presumably one of these would lead to the monstrosity that ruled over LOBAW - Cetus, which was apparently some kind of sea monster. To be frank, Summer didn't see the harm in letting Cetus stay down here. It couldn't hurt the surface. What was the problem? Sadly, the game seemed to have other ideas, so here she was. At least Destiny was here to help.

"Just remember the plan," Summer reminded Destiny, for the fourteenth time. "We go in, we talk to it, we try to convince it to give us the grist hoard. That's all we're after, that's all we need, and then it can go back to whatever it does."

"And when that doesn't work?" As far as Destiny was concerned, negotiating was a losing battle. The fact that they were only assuming that Cetus could speak was a factor in her reasoning. "We kill it, right?"

"Yes. Now hold up, I think we're here." In front of the two pegasi, the tunnel took a sharp left, which - judging by the light coming from it - opened out into a larger room. A small puddle near the entrance to this room suggested the path would take them out onto some kind of underground lake. "Remember, no sudden movements." Counting to three, and nodding, both ponies stepped around the corner and into the large open area. Sure enough, they were at the edge of a large lake, the surface of which broke as an enormous creature cut through the water. Presumably, that was Cetus. The underlings had been getting larger recently, but not that large. Breaking through the lake once more, Cetus turned its head towards them, considering the two little ponies. The creature was shaped like a large sea serpent, its tail twisting around it as it floated on the surface. Besides the noise of the water being thrashed around by the tail, there was silence until Destiny attempted to speak.

"Uh-" The moment the noise left Destiny's mouth, the monster screeched horrifically before darting towards them with its teeth bared. "FUCK!"

***

"Comet." Given the circumstances, Silver's voice was admirably level. "I couldn't help but notice that we are about to die." Comet, to his credit, made a half-hearted attempt to not flip his shit before responding.

"Don't you even think about getting smart with me. Don't. You. Even. Dare." A bone chilling roar, alarmingly close by, reminded the two ponies of their predicament. "How was I to know that my future self was trying to kill me?"

"I don't know." Silver replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Maybe because of how you're trying to kill your past selves?"

"That's different. Past me deserves it for being such a pretentious bitch. Future me is just being an elitist pile of-" Another roar, even closer, cut him off. Both of them knew exactly what he was going to say anyway.

"And isn't that exactly what you said about current you when you were past you?"

"I hope you realise that none of this is going to help." In all honesty, he was still mystified about the circumstances that had led up to the two of them being chased around the inside of LOCAR by Hephaestus. "But seriously, I call serious doubt on his so called 'riddle'."

"Oh gog, not this again."

"Excuse me, but that was not a riddle. It was a tongue twister. Yellow lorry, my ass."

"OK, fine, it wasn't a riddle! We're still going to die!" While he was good at his job of noticing the little things, Comet all too easily forgot the bigger picture, as Silver was only just learning.

"Yeah, but at least my intellect is no longer up for debate." As for common sense... Silver thought.

"Now who's being elitist? Do you have any ideas for how to get us out of here, or not?"

"Yeah, I do have one idea." Comet retrieved his laptop, and opened up the team chat memo.

[CURRENT fractalAbomination began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

CFA: hey future me

CFA: get your ass over here now you son of a bitch

***

Applejack's quests on her planet seemed to revolve primarily around healing the land from the poisons that had tainted the world. Exactly what these poisons were was a point left vague, but it was clear from the context that it was either due to, or a cause of, the unpleasant crocodiles which lived on the planet. In this, Fluttershy was a very competent helper, even though she didn't share Applejack's powers and was incapable of fighting the occasional wave of underlings that attempted to slow the ponies down. More importantly than anything else, she provided company in the lonely mist, which Applejack couldn't imagine herself coping without. Or at least, not for this long.

"So, as ya can imagine, the whole herd just-woah!" Taking a step forwards and finding nothing but open air, Applejack cried out as she tumbled forwards over the cliff face which the mist had obscured, falling into the trees below. Fluttershy, at the sound of Applejack's exclamation, had instantly dropped to the ground and attempted to hide underneath her hooves. After no further sounds came, she lowered her legs and peered over the edge of the cliff.

"A-Applejack...?" She called down nervously, her temperamental fear of heights taking this opportunity to torment her once again. "Are you OK?" When the reply came, it was muffled by the trees as Applejack struggled to make herself heard.

"Ah'm fine! Ah just... hurt my leg a little. Might be a good idea to rest it for a bit, can ya fly down here?" Fluttershy considered the drop. No, was the simple answer to that. She couldn't fly, not like this, not when she was scared and her friends’ life was in danger. No, she couldn't fly down there, but...

Retrieving the MAP from her sylladex, Fluttershy carefully nudged the manual co-ordinate settings forwards and downwards, with all the precision of a true hero of Space. It kind of came with the territory.

Appearing at the base of the cliff, near where Applejack was lying, Fluttershy's instincts kicked in the moment that she saw her friend's condition - although, as Applejack had said, it really wasn't that bad - and the pegasus instantly dropped everything and shot towards the injured earth pony.

From the top of the cliff, the creature that had been following them throughout their adventures watched as Fluttershy tended to Applejack. It saw the MAP, discarded on the ground behind the two ponies. It grinned a slow, evil grin.

***

"Ah, so the Prince of Space approaches me at last." Echidna smiled gently, stretching her arms wide. "I welcome you to my domain, my Prince."

After smashing his way through legions of underlings, to be confronted by this seemingly docile - yet enormous - denizen had caught Ember Glow off guard. He now stood directly in front of Echidna, warhammer by his side. He nodded in greeting.

"I know that you are here for the grist hoard, in order to achieve your ultimate goal. I believe that simply getting this far means you deserve this reward. But make no mistake - I will not be releasing the hoard lightly."

"Yeah, I figured." Ember readied his warhammer. "Let's get this over with." If anything, Echidna seemed rather alarmed by his suggestion.

"Wait!" Ember lowered his hammer. "I didn't mean you have to fight me! I simply require you to perform a task for me, in exchange for the hoard." Extending her hand, the denizen created a small model of a very familiar pony - Mild Darkness. "Your supposed friend, Mild Darkness, is planning to betray you. I know this, as I have seen its passing. All I desire is for this to not happen. I will give you the hoard freely, on the condition that your group will kill Mild Darkness before he is capable of perpetrating his evil."

"You want me to kill Mild? No!" Ember was at least smart enough to consider that this was a trick - after all, the denizens were in charge of the underlings, who were undoubtedly enemies. "He's our friend!"

"Is he?" Maybe not, Ember thought. He and Mild had never entirely seen eye to eye on certain matters. "Trust me when I say that you shall be forced to end his evil sooner or later. The sooner you do so, the greater your chances of success."

"Yeah, I'm sorry but I don't really believe that. Sure, he likes to plan evil schemes, but he's not really the type to go through with them." So saying, he once again picked up the warhammer. "Plus it would be a whole lot harder than just killing you now." Echidna sighed, either accepting the futility of trying to change the future she had foreseen, or the futility of attempting to reason with Ember Glow.

"Very well, you may endanger all of creation if you wish. But I would still prefer to not die. Lower your weapon; I will grant you access to the hoard."

Ember considered the situation. On the one hoof, she was being very nice about this, and it would save time. On the other hoof, there was experience to be had, and he liked smashing stuff.

"Actually, I think I'll just kill you."

So he did.

Chapter 14

View Online

No words passed between them. Almost as quickly as he had appeared, future Comet turned and trotted purposefully around the remains of Hephaestus and out of the large chamber in which the three ponies - Comet, future Comet, and Silver Edge - had been standing. No words, but an understanding was passed between the two Comets. Comet would allow his future self this chance to be a complete silent badass, and so would in due time be allowed to be a silent badass when his turn came. Silver Edge, however, was less impressed at the sight of the retreating Page.

"Hmph. That was cheating, you know." Though she didn't approve, neither did the unicorn reject the rewards that future Comet had left behind, as she quickly swept up the immense grist hoard.

"So was that stupid riddle." Comet interjected, joining Silver in gathering the grist. Gog damn there was a lot of the stuff. "And at least I actually did something."

"Don't go there." Because Silver and Diamond had until recently been sharing their one strife deck - camerakind, much to Diamond's annoyance - and Diamond had been the first to reach their shared body, Silver found herself without any strife deck to speak of. Even so, the scowl on her face was threatening enough. "Just... just don't."

"Understood. Now, let's get this show on the road." Once again entering the well-rehearsed answer of 57 into his sylladex, Comet retrieved his laptop and began pestering their ride off of LOCAR.

[fractalAbomination began pestering homelessChicken]

FA: ahoy thar

FA: requesting permission to board the good ship backstab

HC: Hm...

HC: I don't know about that.

FA: oh come on

FA: i did the pirate voice

FA: how can you not let me on

HC: Why would I let a pirate onto my ship?

FA: because pirates are cool

FA: they're like

FA: the third or fourth greatest demographic ever

HC: Very well then. But only because I'm in a good mood.

FA: you're always in a good mood

HC: Do you want to get onto the boat or not?

HC: Anyway, we're practically at LOCAR by now. Can you wait five minutes?

FA: no

HC: <:\

FA: yeah, ok, i'll see you then

HC: OK, bye!

[fractalAbomination ceased pestering homelessChicken]

Packing away his laptop, Comet realised Silver was waiting for him to tell her what was going on.

"We're all heading to Skaia together, so they're flying that Dersite warship that Mild stole around the Medium to pick everypony up." It then occurred to him that they were at the heart of a huge, convoluted labyrinth, and that this would need to be changed in five minutes. "They're about five minutes away, so we should be trying to get out of here. Maybe if we - ooh, hello, what's this?" A small card lay on Hephaestus' throne. A small white card with a green border. A strife specibus, and it had an item equipped. Closer inspection revealed that the card was, in fact, an axekind abstrata with a legendary axe equipped: the Gidian's Regret. He was about to slot it into his strife portfolio, alongside his preferred choice of bookkind abstrata, when the card was surrounded by a faint purple aura and flew out of his hands towards Silver. Oh, right, she didn't have a strife specibus.

Equipping the axe and giving it a few experimental swings, Silver began to survey the ceiling of the large chamber they were in. The underground palace had been carved out of solid rock, and rather than a smooth, artificial surface, the top of the chamber was instead the rough underside of a huge sheet of rock. Although she wasn't physically holding it, Silver tested the weight of the axe.

"Are you sure this isn't going to make the whole cave collapse?" While the last few hours had been entertaining enough, they had not exactly reinforced any kind of trust in Comet's judgements.

"No." So saying, Comet closed his eyes and encased the two of them in a bubble of magic. "Just get on with it."

Weighing up her options, and shrugging to nopony in particular, Silver grinned as she swung the axe upwards.

***

In a completely different incipisphere, one where the Queen still lived, we find Silver Edge grinning as she swings an axe upwards. Though, due to the odd fancies of paradox space, this took place at the exact same time as her previous attempts at upwards axe swinging, this time the axe did not burst through several kilometres of rock, manipulating its own spatial properties at differing points in time in order to maintain its initial velocity throughout its journey. Instead, it simply completed the usual path for an axe tossed skyward - barely scraping against the roof of the Derse palace, the weapon once again came crashing down towards the unicorn, who swiftly caught it in its descent and flung it up into the air once more. Silver had some time before the plan was put into action, and so she had decided to practice with her axe while she had the chance. And so she was able to continue catching and throwing the axe, rather than dodging between falling slabs of rock which completely failed to acknowledge any magical barrier a certain teal unicorn had attempted to place in their way.

"Enjoying yourself?" Almost dropping the axe in surprise, Silver spun around to face Mild Darkness, who had crept into the palace without her noticing. Or maybe he had barged in loudly, and stolen her awareness of his presence. She wasn't sure if he could do that or not, but thinking about his powers in any context made her uneasy. In spite of, or perhaps because of her thoughts, Mild smiled thinly as he approached her. "He should be here any moment. He has the third component, then things can begin in earnest."

"Do you have to keep talking like that?" While initially the three of them had been a coherent team that trusted each other, the third member of their group had clearly become the mastermind of the operation. As far as Silver was concerned, Mild was just dragging them down, and she had been left here to be dragged down with him. "Nopony repeats their plans as frequently as you, it's getting annoying." Mild shrugged.

"Well, this is what you do when you're taking over a country, or a Universe, or any kind of relatively impressive conquest."

"No it isn't! That's what made up leaders do. Fictional evil emperors are the only ones who monologue anywhere near as much as you're doing!" In Silver's opinion, Mild was growing into the role of 'villain' a little too well. He was acting like the traditional bad guy, which was a stupid thing to do. Firstly it was obnoxious in the extreme. And secondly... "If you've learnt anything from fiction, surely it's that ponies who act the way you're acting never win?"

"That's hardly down to their tendency to rant, now is it?" Although he was attempting to be civil, inside Mild was struggling to restrain himself. He was a God, and deserved to be shown respect that reflected his power. Who did Silver think she was, anyway? "Besides, there's nothing to necessitate the victory of good over evil, not in real life."

"That's another thing. Can you stop insisting that we're evil, or at least that the others are, in any quantifiable sense, 'good'? If there's anything I learned from the few hours spent in that group, it's that they're just as rotten as you." Nopony thought of themselves as evil, wasn't that how this was supposed to work? If Mild went around calling himself evil because it was 'cool', then maybe that meant he wasn't taking this seriously. "We're not evil, this isn't some fated victory. We're just three Sburb players who have found themselves in a certain place, at a certain time, which presents us with a unique opportunity. I suggest you realise that, and start taking this a little more seriously." Her lecture complete, Silver was prepared to storm out of the palace indignantly, when a familiar voice sounded directly behind her. The third member of their group had returned.

"Well said, my dear." Although Silver knew the horrific form that would greet her if she turned her head, she still allowed herself to smile at the compliment, before trotting past Mild and exiting the palace. It was a cold night, but the cool wind felt refreshing after so long inside the palace. Leaping forwards into the night, and spinning around, Silver was greeted by the tall and imposing front face of the castle from which the Black Queen - and now, herself and her allies - dictated the movements of Derse. Higher above the castle, five prototyping towers stood, four of them undamaged. These four had all been successfully filled with information from the kernelsprite. One of the others, of course, had been damaged by that reckless Dersite, and had smashed into the side of the other on its way down. Now, on top of this final unprototyped tower, the prototyping sphere was no longer a smooth white sphere. Now it was littered with cracks and scratches. Absently, Silver wondered what that meant for this session. Not that it would make any difference, in the end.

***

[suspiciousSerpent (SS) began pestering suspiciousSeraphim (Ss)]

SS: OK, 'Silver Heart', you've got some explaining to do.

Ss: What? Who are you?

SS: I'm Diamond Heart. I'm on a boat.

SS: this boat is about to pick up a unicorn by the name of Silver Edge, who uses the username shiningSerpahim.

SS: I would like an explanation, right now.

Ss: Wow, that's... that's a pretty amazing coincidence, isn't it?

SS: I wouldn't call it a coincidence. I'd call it suspicious.

Ss: Oh, of course, I can understand that. But trust me, I've never even heard of you before you started talking to me just now.

SS: well, I'm in Acapella's group.

SS: what about you?

Ss: Oh, I'm in Golden's group.

SS: I see. well that's very helpful.

Ss: :\

Ss: Well I'm sorry, but if it makes you feel any better I won't be talking to your group any more. Our """"leader"""" flipped his lid when he found out we'd all been talking to you despite his orders otherwise.

Ss: With triple quotes because I'm implying that he's the only one who thinks he's the leader.

Ss: Stupid lousy stuck up leader.

SS: I like the sound of your leader.

Ss: :(

Ss: Well apparently you'll all be talking to us later, but until then...

Ss: Bye Diamond!

SS: sure.

[suspiciousSeraphim (Ss) ceased being pestered by suspiciousSerpent (SS)]

Urgh, that was just confusing to read. Far too many 's's. Closing down her laptop, Diamond took in the view from her current position - sitting on the top deck of the RDS (Royal Dersite Ship) Backstab - and saw that they were already descending through the atmosphere of Comet's planet. That had been a quick journey. Although Diamond had decided to stay on the top deck throughout the trip across the Medium, the others had remained inside the ship until now, as Acapella emerged onto the top of the ship. Not that there were any ill effects of being exposed in the Medium, despite its apparent lack of atmosphere. It was probably for the best that none of them questioned it too much. Diamond wearily rose from her comfortable position on the floor to greet Acapella.

"Hey." Her greeting was deliberately kept concise - she wasn't particularly in the mood for Acapella's enthusiasm right now.

"Hello again! Good to see you didn't get blasted off into space like I expected." She paused, continuing again just as Diamond opened her mouth to speak. "Expected, despite the already existing evidence to the contrary." Another pause, once again finishing just as Diamond decided to speak. "So, what's it been like up here?" She paused again, but this time Diamond decided to wait it out. She wasn't going to fall for that again.

This waiting continued for two minutes, before Diamond decided to answer.

"Well-"

"Aside from, obviously, cold and quiet and boring." Acapella added onto the end of her question, before smiling sweetly as she waited for an answer. This was ridiculous.

"It's been very nice, actually. Relaxing." And it had been - this had been the first chance for rest Diamond had gotten since they had started playing the game, besides when she had been sleeping. And their session had lasted for almost a week. It was nice to get some time to herself. "I talked with Silver a little." Now Diamond paused, waiting for Acapella to begin to speak. She didn't, so Diamond sighed and continued. "By which I mean Silver Heart, not Silver Edge." This seemed to get Acapella's interest.

"Oh yeah, that's right, once we land you'll come face to face with yourself! That's going to be so cool, isn't it?" At least she had been paying attention, it seemed.

"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of 'unsettling', but sure." In truth, Diamond didn't know what to expect. Finally, she would meet the pony who had filled her house with cameras, made her social life increasingly awkward, terrified her when absent and pestered her when present. This would be interesting, one way or the other.

***

[CURRENT crespucularMagicant created a new memo RARITY/RAINBOW ENTRANCE on board TEAM CHAT]

[CURRENT adamantineCorsair began responding to memo RARITY/RAINBOW ENTRANCE]

[CURRENT prismaticAscension began responding to memo RARITY/RAINBOW ENTRANCE]

CCM: Right then, let's get started!

An hour had passed, and Twilight had made good on her promise to connect to Rarity. This was good, because the meteor was dreadfully close. And, more than that, it was huge. Wasting no time in getting down to business, Rarity activated the client scroll. A few minutes later, a group of large machines were placed at various points around Carousel Boutique - the alchemiter at the top of the building, in Rarity's bedroom; the totem lathe next to her sowing machine; and the cruxtruder was placed in the centre of the main room where Rarity and Rainbow had been standing around while this was taking place.

"OK, so we need to hit the top of the cruxtruder, right?" Rainbow's understanding of the process was somewhat fractured - she knew only what she had already carried out with Applejack, and what she had gained from watching Pinkie's entrance over Rarity's shoulder. But Rarity confirmed her guess, so she quickly leapt up to the top of the cruxtruder, and gave the lid of the machine a solid kick. This achieved the desired effect - a kernelsprite was released, the wheel on the side of the machine now turned to produce cruxite, and the base of the machine lit up with an ominous countdown.

0:03:56

The two ponies looked at each other in alarm. The others had taken around five or six minutes to enter. Then again, they knew the process a lot better now. They could do this. Maybe.

"Alright Rainbow, I'll take care of the totem. You can deal with the kernelsprite." They had already discussed what was to be placed into the kernelsprite during the hour they had waited for Twilight. In the first place, Rainbow was to prototype with Opal. That was, in and of itself, a challenge. Who knew where that animal had gotten to.

While Rainbow began the search for Opal, Rarity busied herself with the cruxite artifact. Using the cruxite artifact could potentially be the most time consuming part of the whole process, so it made sense to make it as quickly as possible. Rushing up to the totem lathe, placing the cruxite dowel she had made into the grip, and inserting the pre-punched card that Twilight had given her into the machine, Rarity quickly carved the needed totem to correspond with the item on the card, which was...

Inspecting the card, Rarity attempted to make out the obscured image hidden beneath the punched holes. This was difficult, because her cruxite ore was solid white. Against the white background of the card, only a faint line betrayed the edges of the object. Some kind of ball? Whatever, it wasn't important. Captchaloguing both the card and the totem into her safe modus, Rarity headed up the stairs to the alchemiter.

Her safe modus was based off of a similar system to Applejack's stack modus. It also used a 'first in, last out' system, but with a few differences. In the first case, items were not ejected if she picked up too many. Instead, she simply wouldn't be able to captchalogue them. Another difference was that the modus would order any captchalogued items, in terms of value. As such, the most valuable item in her sylladex would also be stored at the bottom of the stack, with the least valuable the easiest to obtain. On the plus side, this made her valuable items all the more secure. On the other hoof, there wasn't any way to steal items from a sylladex anyway, and this system just made it awkward to access the items which she would likely require the most. Still, with no way of changing her modus, Rarity had to make do.

In this case, luckily, the item she needed was at the top of the stack. Running by the logic that the card would take more effort to replace than the totems, the pre-punched card had been placed at the bottom of the stack while the totem took the top of the pile. Retrieving the totem, and placing it onto the alchemiter, Rarity produced a large pyramid of white spheres. Then, suddenly, all but one sphere disappeared, leaving her with the one remaining ball of cruxite. Picking it up, she inspected the sphere. It was made of solid white cruxite, but was covered in cracks and fractures. What in Equestria was she supposed to do with this?

CCM: What is it?

CAC: It's a white, cracked sphere.

CCM: Oh.

CCM: ... um.

CCM: What in Equestria are you supposed to do with that?

CAC: I have no idea...

Downstairs, Rainbow Dash had eventually succeeded in prototyping the kernelsprite with Opal. Although the cat had been entirely determined to get away from the pegasus, now that Opal had been prototyped she seemed accepting of her fate. As much as it was possible for a floating ghost cat head to show emotions of any kind. Taking a moment to catch her breath, Rainbow turned her head to the stairs as Rarity came rushing down holding a broken sphere of cruxite.

"Oh, hey Rarity. I finally managed to prototype with Opal, so that's that taken care of. What's that?" She pointed a hoof at the sphere.

"This is our cruxite artifact, only I have no idea what to do with it!" Rarity glanced at the cruxtruder, then immediately wished she hadn't.

0:01:26

"Isn't this the part where a mystery pony from some other session tells us what to do?" Rainbow asked, only half joking, as she lifted the sphere out of the grip of Rarity's magic and spun it around in her hooves.

CCM: So, any idea?

CAC: Not yet.

CPA: Do any of our mysterious omniscient future friends have any ideas?

CCM: Well, I was trying to talk to them, but it seems like they have their hands full at the moment.

CPA: Isn't that thoughtful of you, leaving them to their troubles while me and Rarity get killed.

CAC: Rainbow, that's enough of that kind of talk. We're going to be fine, we just have to get clever about this.

CPA: OK, sure. How?

CAC: Any ideas, Twilight?

CCM: Not as such, no.

CAC: :|

CAC: Well... this is a bit disappointing.

CPA: Isn't there anything we could try?

CCM: I don't know!

This was stupid. Dismissing her own spell and leaving Rarity to talk things through with Twilight, Rainbow flew outside the shop for some space. Not that there was much space between the ground and the huge meteor which was now only a minute away. Rainbow had been in this position before, but this time it would be a lot harder to get up from. They needed help from somepony. Anypony.

As it turned out, it was certainly not the pony that Rainbow had been expecting the Universe to offer her.

[insanityPrelude began talking with prismaticAscension]

IP: Hey!

PA: Oh, hey Pinkie.

IP: I figured it out!

PA: You figured what out?

IP: Your artifact! I saw you guys talking about it on the memo, and I thought about it for a bit.

IP: And it's obvious, really.

PA: Really? Do you think you could tell me in less than a minute?

IP: Heheh, maaaaybe!

PA: Pinkie.

IP: Oops, sorry. It represents Rarity's prototyping sphere!

PA: Rarity's what now?

IP: Oh, I forgot that your dream self is still asleep. Figures that you wouldn't know this!

IP: But there are six towers... well, five now, that match up with all of our kernelsprites.

IP: Your artifact represents the one on top of Rarity's tower.

PA: So why is it all smashed up?

IP: Oh, that was... uh.

IP: Let's just accept that it is, and not bring up painful memories, OK? :)

PA: Uh, sure.

PA: But what do we do with it?

IP: If I had to guess, which I do, the game is giving you a chance to fix Rarity's prototyping tower.

IP: Whether that will help in the long run, since you failed to enter, I don't know.

IP: Maybe it's just another bend in the road to our ruin.

PA: Wait, what?

IP: Nothing, just thinking out loud! :D

IP: Regardless of how good an idea it is, you'll need to fix it or you won't get into the game.

PA: OK, whatever. How do we fix the sphere?

IP: I don't know. It would require a lot of energy, so the natural assumption would be that you need to prototype something that will give the sphere enough power to fix itself.

IP: Since it's not actually a flawed sphere, it's just taken a bit of surface damage from your tower.

PA: Right. I thought that-

IP: There's no time to debate what this may or may not mean! Go!

PA: Oh. Right.

PA: How do you know all this stuff about the prototyping towers?

IP: I dreamed, and I paid attention.

PA: ... OK, sure.

PA: Later, then.

IP: Bye!

[prismaticAscension stopped talking with insanityPrelude]

Rushing back inside to Rarity, Rainbow threw her the sphere.

0:00:38

"I think I know what we need to do." While she talked, she began to fish around inside her fetch modus. In the interest of keeping the pace, no explanation of her modus will be provided at this point, except the fact that it took her quite a while to retrieve anything from it.

"What? Who were you talking to?" Rarity inspected the sphere once more. It seemed almost more damaged than it had been before.

"Pinkie has an idea. She said that the sphere represents your prototyping tower, so to fix it we have to prototype the kernelsprite with something that will give the sphere enough power to fix itself."

"Doesn't that fly in the face of everything we know about prototyping something weak so that the enemies aren't as powerful?"

"Yes. It's also the only idea we have, and we have twenty seconds left." Finally accessing the desired item, Rainbow presented the ring Luna had given to her to Rarity. "So maybe this will work." Rarity seized the ring from her, and gave it a closer look. Sixteen white orbs glowed back at her.

"Where did you get something like this?"

"It was a gift from Princess Luna." Rainbow paused, thinking it over. "Come to think of it, maybe Luna knew this would happen, and that we would need the ring!"

"Maybe. Or maybe you're seeing patterns that aren't there. It is the best chance we have, though." Turning to Opalsprite, who seemed only vaguely aware of what was going on, she sighed. "Well, here goes nothing."

CCM: What are you doing?

CPA: I am so sick of explaining this.

CPA: The orb is Rarity's prototyping sphere, which is damaged.

CPA: To solve the puzzle, we fix it. To fix it, we need to give it energy.

CPA: To do that, we prototype something powerful, so we're using a ring that Princess Luna gave me.

CPA: ANY MORE QUESTIONS?

CCM: Wait. A... ring?

CPA: Yeah.

CCM: Don't do a thing, I'll be right back.

CPA: Uh. We really can't wait, Twilight.

CCM: Just hold on!

0:00:15

***

[crespucularMagicant began talking with fractalAbomination]

CM: Hello?

FA: this had better be quick

CM: My thoughts exactly.

CM: What did you say a few conversations ago about a ring?

FA: uh

FA: that our prince prototyped with a monarch's ring

FA: and is therefore a complete and utter dumbass

FA: i mean, where did he even find one?

CM: How do you know if it's a monarch ring?

FA: it's a gold band, with white orbs around the outside

CM: Oh.

FA: why?

FA: ...

FA: hello?

***

CCM: Don't do it!

CPA: Twilight, we're out of time.

CCM: But-

CPA: Sorry.

[CURRENT adamantineCorsair stopped responding to memo RARITY/RAINBOW ENTRANCE]

[CURRENT prismaticAscension stopped responding to memo RARITY/RAINBOW ENTRANCE]

CCM: ... oh.

***

Deciding that Twilight probably wouldn't be coming back for a while, Comet closed his laptop and joined Silver by the cliffside temple where they had emerged. The ship was in the process of pulling up alongside them, and on top of the craft they could see their assembled team members - Diamond, Acapella, and Mild. After this, they would then continue looping around the Medium, to pick up Ember, Destiny and Summer. And then they would journey into the centre of the incipisphere, to the Battlefield, and fight the Black King...

That was going to be one hell of a fight, Comet reflected as he and Silver stepped onto the ship, and Silver was immediately grabbed hold of by Acapella and dragged off somewhere. Thanks to Ember's poor choice of prototyping, the king was twice as powerful as he should have been. Still, they could do it. Despite his lack of abilities in problem solving and/or simple addition, Ember was good at smashing stuff. Mild being at God Tier was obviously a huge benefit, and Silver's addition to the team gave them an extra source of damage. Then again, since Diamond's strife specibus was camerakind, maybe Silver's addition meant they didn't lose any sources of damage rather than gaining an extra one. How did a camera even work as a weapon.

Briefly, he wondered what Twilight had been asking about the rings for. Surely she didn't mean that one of her group was prototyping with a ring? Aside from that being a really stupid thing to do, he still didn't know how it was possible to obtain a queen's ring before entering the game. What were the chances of that happening twice, to two sessions that were communicating with each other, both of which were from the same original Universe? They were either very slim or almost certain, that was for sure.

Below deck, Silver Edge and Diamond Heart stood facing each other. Now that they were in separate bodies, Acapella noticed that there was a difference - Silver's eyes were red, whereas Diamond's were blue. Beyond that, they were identical - the same light purple coat, the same roughly shaped mane and tail, even the same camera cutie mark. It was rather disconcerting, especially when they spoke with almost the same voice. It was Diamond who spoke first, extending a hoof towards Silver and attempting a warm smile.

"Uh, hello! I'm Diamond Heart." She felt like an idiot as she said her greeting. It sounded forced. In a way, it was forced, but she had to say something. To her credit, however, Silver forced herself to take the greeting at face value, shaking hooves with Diamond.

"And I'm Silver Edge." A pause.

Acapella rolled her eyes painfully as she sat watching the two ponies attempting to have a conversation. This was going to be a long journey.

***

To pass the time, while she and Destiny waited for the ship on the Land of Brooks and Woods, Summer Dawn performed a grand total of 97 backflips.

***

Ember probably did something on the Land of Joy and Frogs while he waited, but it wasn't very interesting, so let's move on.

***

Outside of the incipispheres with which we of the alpha timeline choose to concern ourselves, perhaps there exists a game session where Rarity and Rainbow Dash are able to enter separately. What might such a session look like? It is not our place to know, only to wonder. What we may know is that Rarity and Rainbow Dash entered together in this incipisphere, and found themselves on a planet which Skaia designed to accommodate the heroes of both Heart and Breath. And so they found themselves emerging from Carousel Boutique to take in the sight of the Land of Silk and Flames.

Before them, stretching for miles into the distance, the ground seemed to be literally shaped out of light, silver silk, rolling across hills in great sweeping sheets of the fabric. As if this was a perfectly acceptable substitute for actual soil, trees could be seen in the distance, along with small villages built into the hills. Whether or not this made any sense, the whole planet seemed to shine gently. While this looked very nice, somewhat less appealing was the great plume of smoke drifting upwards from over the horizon. That was alarming.

Deciding to ignore the smoke for the time being, and returning inside, they were pleasantly surprised to see that the communication spell had gotten over its usual short period of not working until it reconnected to Twilight. They were less than pleasantly surprised to see what was waiting for them.

[crespucularMagicant began talking with adamantineCorsair]

CM: Rarity?

CM: About the ring...

CM: I think we might have made a bit of a mistake.

AC: Twilight. It was that, or me and Rainbow would have died.

AC: We had no choice.

CM: I know. I just...

CM: This is bad. Really, really bad.

AC: What's even so bad about it? It was just a ring.

CM: This happened in Comet's session. Their last player prototyped a queen's ring, which they had somehow obtained from Celestia knows where.

AC: And what does that mean?

CM: Well, the queen's ring is an item that the queen of Derse wears, which takes on the prototyping information as players enter.

AC: So?

CM: So, for every glowing orb on the surface of the ring, the monarchs - and underlings - of our session gain an extra prototyping.

CM: ... how many orbs were on that ring?

AC: Um...

AC: Sixteen?

CM: Oh.

CM: ...

CM: Well, I'll talk to you later.

[crespucularMagicant stopped talking with adamantineCorsair]

In the distance, from somewhere outside the Boutique, a blood curdling scream echoed across the landscape, and both ponies were overcome by the feeling that they had been very, very stupid.

***

At first, the realisation that the MAP was gone had led to panic. A few minutes of frantic searching later, and Fluttershy had come to the realisation that somepony - or something - had taken it. This meant that Applejack’s suspicions had been right, and they hadn’t been alone. Which was a terrifying thought, although as Applejack had pointed out, whatever had taken the MAP had probably used it to travel somewhere else.

So they had continued onwards, until the time had come for Applejack to move on to Pinkie's planet. Seeing as Fluttershy still needed to travel around the Medium, and no longer had her MAP, she had resolved to continue adventuring with Applejack. And so the two of them had both progressed through the next gate and into the Land of Presents and Laughter. However, they were not greeted by Pinkie Pie when they emerged in the middle of LOPAL. Their friend was nowhere to be seen, and hadn't responded to any of their attempts to message her. This was worrying.

They had eventually made their way to Sugarcube Corner, by walking towards the enormous tower that Rarity had built up from Pinkie's house. And, of course, they had found Pinkie inside. Where had she been, they asked, while they had been trying to contact her?

"Oh, I was asleep!" Pinkie replied brightly, as she bounced out of the door past her two friends. "Staying well rested is very important, dream self or not!" This sentence had been proclaimed very loudly, in a manner which usually suggested she was about to burst into a song about the virtues of getting enough sleep. In an instant, Fluttershy appeared at her side, cutting short any forthcoming musical.

"Oh, of course, Pinkie. We were just getting worried about you, that's all." Applejack followed as Pinkie and the pegasus headed out from Sugarcube Corner in the general direction of Pinkie's next quest. "So, uh, would you mind if we all went around together?" Pinkie looked at her, almost hurt by the possibility that she would mind.

"What? Me, mind? That's crazy talk! Come on, there's plenty of-" she stopped, her face suddenly deadly serious. "Oh."

"What is i-" Fluttershy began, before stopping as she looked around. The three ponies suddenly found themselves blocked by all manner of underlings - gliclops, liches, basilisks, and more - all of them horrifically warped by the latest prototyping. None of them knew exactly what Rainbow and Rarity had done, but they knew that it couldn't have been anything good. In the shock of facing such a fearsome wave of enemies, Fluttershy was only vaguely aware of Applejack pushing herself in front of the pegasus and the earth pony. "Uh... Applejack?"

"Don't y'all worry none." Brandishing her scythe, Applejack stood on her hind legs with calm in her voice and determination in her eyes. "This'll be over quickly."

Chapter 15

View Online

[fractalAbomination began pestering crespucularMagicant]

FA: hey

CM: Oh, hi. What is it?

FA: we're about to go fight our black king

FA: which we're all a little nervous about, but w/e

FA: i just wanted to check what all that stuff about the ring was about earlier

FA: it sounded almost like you were going to prototype with one

CM: We were.

FA: oh. well, that's either very surprising or totally expected

CM: And we did.

FA: wait, what?

CM: They only had a few seconds, they had to do something!

FA: why would you do that?

FA: could you really find nothing else other than a ridiculously powerful game item that ponies shouldn't even have lying around on the basis that we can't even fucking wear rings!?

FA: not even a pillow or something?

CM: No, it was because of our artifact, we needed to prototype something powerful.

CM: The artifact was Rarity's prototyping sphere.

FA: really? that's a bit far fetched, i hope you realise

CM: Well, it was. And the 'puzzle' was to fix it, by prototyping something powerful enough to repair the damage.

FA: wait, it was damaged? how?

CM: It's a long story. The point is that we didn't have a choice!

FA: ok, fine. i just...

FA: i mean, we're struggling, if i'm honest

FA: are you sure you guys can handle it?

CM: Well, we'll just have to manage, won't we?

FA: :c

FA: well, good luck i guess

CM: You too.

FA: i'll speak to you later, assuming we're both still alive

[fractalAbomination ceased pestering crespucularMagicant]

"What did he want?" Spike asked, as Twilight dismissed the communication spell once more.

"To check up on us, like always. He was just asking about Rarity and Rainbow's prototyping." From somewhere in the nearby forest, a horrific shriek echoed around them. "Speaking of which, stay close to me. We might be in for another wave soon."

"Isn't there anything we can do about how strong the enemies are?" Spike asked. "Can't you go back in time to before, and warn them?

"No, because if I did that, then I already would have done, wouldn't I?" Twilight paused, thinking it over. "Actually... now that I think about it... that gives me an idea for this planet." Retrieving her book from her sylladex, she began flipping through the pages frantically. "There were tons of frogs on this planet, before they all disappeared, right?"

"Uh... yeah. Why?"

"I have a feeling I might know why they disappeared." And with that, she closed the book, flinging the two of them back in time.

***

"Pinkie Pie! Look out!" Applejack called out, as Pinkie nimbly leapt around the oncoming basilisk. What Applejack hadn't been prepared for, however, was that this meant that the basilisk was continuing its charge towards her. "Let's dance, ya scaly son of a-"

Applejack was cut off as a sickening crunch marked the union of Pinkie's club with the back of the basilisk's neck. Roaring in pain, it attempted to flip the earth pony off of its back as Pinkie continued to attack, its many limbs grabbing and slashing at her. It was at this point that Applejack decided to get involved, rushing up to the underling with her scythe in hand. Dashing past the creature and hacking furiously at its flailing limbs, Applejack couldn't help but feel a certain grim satisfaction as one of the creature's forearms was severed. Twisting around to face it once again, she paused for a moment to watch Pinkie Pie. Having thrown her club to one side, Pinkie had instead decided to dual wield umbrellas. Only Pinkie Pie would think to use umbrellas as a weapon, and only Pinkie Pie would succeed at such an attempt. The basilisk writhed in pain, before it finally rolled sideways and Pinkie was knocked off of it and lay on the floor, injured. Quickly getting to its feet, the creature scuttled towards where she had been thrown, its fangs bared. Now Applejack was sprinting towards the creature, time seemingly slowing as it drew nearer to Pinkie.

Suddenly flying out from where ever she had been hiding during the battle, Fluttershy shot towards Pinkie, and began to fly her upwards as quickly as she could. Beneath them, the basilisk screeched as it leapt upwards, desperately trying to grab hold of them. And, by a mere millimetre, it was able to grab onto Pinkie's leg. After the two ponies and the basilisk seemed to be frozen impossibly in mid-air for a few moments, they began to plummet downwards again, smacking into the ground all too quickly.

"Pinkie! Fluttershy!" Finally reaching them, Applejack quickly finished off the crippled basilisk, and brushed aside the shower of grist which the game offered her as a reward. She could now see Pinkie and Fluttershy, lying together in a crumpled, bloody heap. "Oh... oh no."

***

In the end, perhaps what happened was inevitable. Perhaps, despite their best efforts, no matter what they tried, Skaia would always have found a way to screw them over. That was what Comet chose to believe, if only because it shifted the blame away from himself. Because, at the end of the day, he really should have seen it coming. All of them should have seen it coming.

In front of him, a mighty battle was taking place, although the ending had been spoiled - now it was just a memory, repeating itself before his eyes. He watched with something approaching pride as he and his friends attacked the Black King, acting with brutal efficiency. His own role had been one of the most important parts of the battle - to freeze the king in time for as long as possible. Then, after he had used most of his energy, he had settled for slowing the king down during attacks in order to give his friends enough time to evade the attack.

"It's a shame, isn't it?" A quiet voice whispered behind him. Glancing behind him, Comet was greeted by the sight of a bright pink winged unicorn, whose bright eyes contrasted with her tired smile. She was wearing a deep blue shirt, with pointed shoes and a tall conical hat. Somehow, this didn't look as silly as it should have done. "To fight so well, for so long, all for nothing."

"Who are you?" Despite having never seen her, Comet couldn't shake the feeling that he knew this mare somehow.

"I'm Pinkie Pie. I'm from Twilight's group." Oh. Wasn't she the one who had advised the prototyping of a queen's ring? "And you're Comet, right?"

"Yeah. Aren't you the crazy one who somehow knows everything?" Pinkie seemed to find that funny, as she laughed quietly before answering. In front of them, Summer activated her fraymotif. Neither of the two dreamers watching paid much attention to what was happening, but it seemed to involve giant dice-shaped gaming abstractions.

"I suppose so. It's only natural for a player with my role to know so much about the game. Destruction of obfuscation, and all that. As for crazy, well..." One of the Black King's attacks slipped through Comet's time warping, but luckily Silver was able to slightly change Ember's fate to cause the attack to miss. "Since my dream-self died, I've been... changed. Everything seems a lot more serious now. Maybe it's just me growing into my role, or maybe my dream self was related to how silly I was?" She shrugged. "In the end, I don't suppose it really matters."

"I guess. Anyway, next question." Gesturing towards himself as past Comet swung his unabridged encyclopaedia into the king with a deafening blow. "Why are we floating above the Battlefield of my session, four hours in the past?"

"Well, it took me forever to figure this out, but we're dreaming!" A spark of excitement crept into Pinkie's voice as she explained. "Now that my dream self is dead, I don't dream of Prospit anymore. I dream here. Of course, you never dreamed on Prospit, but now that your dream self is dead you come here all the same. Where exactly 'here' is, I'm not too sure." She nodded towards the battle. "But it seems like we can relive memories here, and share them with others."

"My dream self isn't dead." While his dream-self had never fully awoken, Comet was pretty sure it was still alive. Surely he would know if it had died?

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but it is. It's incredibly dead. I saw it happen, in fact." To her credit, Pinkie remembered that she was meant to say that sentence with remorse, but quickly perked up again as she got back to the point. "Anyway, there is a point to reviewing this memory. You need to properly understand what happened, and what the consequences were."

Summer was knocked away by a blow from the Black King, only to be replaced by a very angry Destiny. Diamond checked up on the wounded Heir, while Destiny and Mild once again used the fraymotif they had used to defeat the Black Queen. Comet slowed the king's progression through time during the attack, as they had learned that he had some amount of health regeneration - the key was to cause as much damage in as short amount of time as possible, which was aided by slowing the king down. It was an ingenious plan, if Comet said so himself. Which he did. Not that it mattered, in the end.

"The rise and fall of Team Fuckass, all over again..." Comet muttered as Pinkie happily laid down in mid-air and watched the epic battle taking place in front of them. "Great."

***

As it had turned out, Fluttershy was not too badly damaged, and Applejack had been able to patch her up to the extent that she would be alright. Pinkie, on the other hand... Pinkie had been too far gone for anypony to have saved her. Fortunately for her, Sburb had many routes to revival, which Gummysprite had been more than willing to talk about. And so Applejack had carried Pinkie across LOPAL, until eventually she had found the planet's quest bed on top of a large hill. And so she laid Pinkie to rest on the quest bed, and watched as her friend became a God.

Ascending to God Tier carried with it a great deal of fanfare between laying a dying player onto their quest bed and the actual ascension, but eventually Pinkie disappeared and the music and lights faded away. Having taken care of that, Applejack headed back to Fluttershy, who had been in substantially better shape than Pinkie. This was to say, she wasn’t dying.

"Fluttershy? Can ya hear me?" Applejack resisted the temptation to add 'yet' onto her question. It wasn't Fluttershy's fault, and she had tried her best to help. She should be patient with her. And, sure enough, the pegasus' eyes began to flutter faintly as she came to. "There we go. How are ya feeling?"

"Mrmrmm... ow. Hurts." Her eyes open properly now, Fluttershy glanced around, taking in the large mound next to them which housed Pinkie's quest bed. "Where are we?"

"We're at Pinkie's quest bed. She was in a pretty bad way, so Gummysprite said Ah needed to bring her here and lay her down on her bed. Ah'm not sure where she's gone now, but she should turn out OK."

"And what about us? We can't continue like this. I'm no use in a fight, and you can't take on those things by yourself." Applejack paused, considering their options. Fluttershy was right, of course. There was no way that the two of them could continue to fight their way around the planet.

"Don't y'all worry about that. Just focus on getting your health back and Ah'll think of something." She hoped that her reassurances would calm Fluttershy, because they certainly weren't working on herself.

***

The king lay dead, and all across the Battlefield the soldiers of Prospit and Derse laid down their weapons. From all corners of the planet they came towards the eight ponies standing by the dead monarch, repeating their ceaseless chant.

The King is dead. Long live the heroes of Skaia. Long live our champions. Long live the Page, who steered us through the winds of Time. Long live the Maid, and may this victory calm her endless Rage. Long live the Thief, who we keep forever in Mind. Long live the Witch, drenched in the Blood of our enemies. Long live the Sylphs, who brought us Hope when our Doom seemed near. Long live the Heir who will lead us into the Light. Long live the Prince who has created Space from its own ashes. Long live our Glorious Speaker, that we may hear his Vast Croak.

The assembled ponies were, of course, feeling thoroughly pleased with themselves. They had finally defeated the Black King, they were finally being recognised as heroes, and their seemingly endless campaign had at long last come to an end. It made Comet feel sick to watch the celebration taking place below him. Why were they celebrating? They were all fools! Pinkie caught his pained expression, attempting to reassure him.

"Don't worry about it. What's done is done, and-" she was cut off as Comet held a hoof in her direction, without taking his eyes off of the scene below him.

"Don't bother. Let's just watch this and get it over with." And so they watched as, all too quickly, the celebrations came to an end...

***HOURS IN THE PAST (BUT NOT MANY)***

The Black King was dead, but there was still a Reckoning to take care of. Picking up the Black King's sceptre, now shrunk to a more manageable size, Mild raised it into the sky and allowed its power to fill him. Undoing the magic which had begun the onslaught of meteors, the oncoming missiles slowed at first, before stopping entirely and flying back into the Veil. The cheers of the watching Prospitans and Dersites told him that the task was complete, and he lowered the sceptre. Finally, it was done. And yet, there was so much more yet to do.

"Well then, that's that." Comet said, as he walked away from the rest of the group to where Mild was standing. "I'm just about ready for a nice lie down." Mild smiled grimly.

"Can you bear to stand on ceremony for just a little longer? I take it you have the frog ready?" The rapidly approaching beginning of his plan was, admittedly, the part which Mild was least sure about. But in the end he had to agree with his friend, who seemed to know much more about what was going to happen. Being from the future did give him an unfair advantage, though.

"Yeah, but I think I should probably leave it in my sylladex until we've gotten Skaia ready." Wait, what? No, that was wrong; he was meant to hand it over. "This is silly, since there’s no danger, but I just feel really paranoid about the damn thing. It took forever, after all." Well, this was a problem. He couldn't very well kill a frog that was tucked away inside a gaming abstraction. Of course, there was one very simple way to get what he wanted, but using his powers on a close friend... he glanced in Silver's direction, to find her staring back at him. She nodded, and of course she was right. They were too close to walk away now.

Swiftly reaching into Comet's mind, and taking it for himself, Mild reached out a hoof to pick up the frog which Comet dutifully removed from his sylladex. The surrounding soldiers, unaware of what was happening, cheered at the sight of their glorious speaker. Though Comet was entirely under his control, Mild swore quietly as the cheering drew the attention of the others. Destiny was the closest.

"Mild? We're not ready for the frog yet, we still need to heal the Battlefield." Destiny frowned as she approached, inspecting Comet. The unicorn was staring off into space, not showing any awareness of what was going on around him. "And what happened to Comet? He didn't-" she paused, as she saw his eyes. They had filled in a solid green, bearing a Mind symbol in a lighter shade of green. "Mild..." Fuck, Mild thought to himself, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. He decided it would be best to play dumb.

"Yes? What is it?" He asked cheerfully, in a very forced voice, while slowly moving around Destiny towards where Silver was standing. Suddenly he halted, so as to not impale his neck on the outstretched sword which was now in front of him.

"Mild. You'd better have a good reason for this." Of course, Destiny had instantly assumed the worst, but she was at least prepared to hear her supposed friend out. "What are you doing with that frog?" Mild thought for a moment, mainly to come up with a suitably badass book-based pun. Finding none, he shrugged.

"Screw it; it's not worth the effort." Before Destiny could figure out exactly what he meant by that, she was suddenly preoccupied by an unabridged encyclopaedia smashing into the side of her face with a terrible crack. Correctly expecting that this wouldn't go unnoticed, Mild grabbed hold of the nearest soldiers and ordered them to attack the rest of his group - besides Silver, of course. By the time Summer and the others realised what was happening, they found themselves fighting off a swarm of oncoming agents. Making the most of the distraction, Silver began to sprint towards the waiting warship, while Mild waited for a few moments to watch his friends fighting back their attackers. Obviously, after such a huge victory, a few measly foot soldiers weren't even approaching a challenge. Ember in particular was enjoying himself, swatting three or four out of the way with each swing of his warhammer. Acapella, having managed to stab her way into some breathing space, shouted out to the watching God.

"Hey! Mild! What the hell do you think you're doing?!?" As a response, Mild tossed the frog into the air.

"I like to think of it as... tying up loose ends." Now the frog was falling, but it wouldn't have time to hit the ground. Swiftly equipping his knife, Mild jabbed the weapon upwards into the glowing amphibian. Satisfied that he had been suitably badass, he then turned and began flying after Silver. Acapella turned angrily towards Summer.

"Are you just going to let him get away with this?" In all fairness, there wasn't a lot any of them could have done. Comet had passed out after Mild had released his mind, Destiny was lying on the floor on top of a thick lake of blood, and the rest of them were all struggling with a group of soldiers. Even so, Summer kicked her attackers away, and flew up and out of their reach. By the time she had brought up her rifle, Mild was already halfway to the warship. But with luck like hers, there was basically no way she could miss.

Except, in an instant, Mild released the soldiers. He needed all of his concentration for his powers to work over such a distance. Kicking his way into Summer's mind, Acapella and the others could do nothing but watch helplessly as Summer quickly swung the rifle downwards, firing a bullet directly into Ember's vaguely surprised face. Throwing the rifle away, Mild then released Summer, who promptly fell to the ground due to a combination of surprise and fatigue. A short distance away, a Dersite warship flew off into the depths of the Medium, as the few survivors tried to make sense of what had just happened.

***

"Rarity." Rainbow said, remarkably calmly, as she burst through the front door of the Boutique and slammed it shut behind her. "We have got to do something about this."

"About what, Rainbow?" Rarity asked sweetly, but it was anypony's guess whether she was being sarcastic or genuinely clueless. Rainbow rolled her eyes, which was a suitable reaction to either option.

"About the giant monstrous enemies who are completely surrounding your home." She paused. "And also the fact that the whole planet is apparently on fire." Another pause. "And, for that matter, the fact that I'm the one going out and risking my life while you're staying in here." To her mild annoyance, Rarity laughed.

"Oh, don't worry about any of that. I have it all under control." She reached into her safe modus, taking the first thing which it offered to her - a pair of pointed silver knitting needles.

"Um."

"Shh!" Equipping the needles into her needlekind abstrata, Rarity made a few rapid slashes through the air. "I've spent an awfully long time making these, so they should work pretty well."

"Knitting needles? Really? Are you going to knit a scarf and strangle them with it?"

"Laugh all you want, Rainbow Dash, but we'll see who's laughing in the end." Opening the front door and trotting outside, she waited for a bemused Rainbow to follow her before continuing. "Watch and learn, my dear, watch and learn."

Now that she had stepped out into the open, Rarity was almost immediately greeted by an enormous Obsidian Ogre, which growled a low, rumbling growl. It reached down with a clawed hand, and Rarity lashed out with her magic, causing the needles to swipe clean through the underling's hand in a flurry of wool and pain. It quickly retracted the hand, but the needles continued their onslaught, flinging themselves upwards towards the ogre's head. What happened next was entirely too graphic to describe in detail, but suffice it to say that Rainbow made a mental note to never, ever get on Rarity's bad side. Ever. Rarity gave a light laugh and turned to her side, where Rainbow Dash was staring open mouthed.

"Your turn."

***

"OK, there we go. It turns out Mild was in cahoots with Silver, he stabs the frog, I kill Destiny and Summer shoots Ember, and then Mild and Silver escape with the Black King's sceptre. Then the others revived Destiny and Ember's dream selves, and now they're sitting around waiting for me to come around. Big whoop." Watching Mild's betrayal a second time had left Comet thoroughly annoyed with everything, not least the ridiculous party pony with who he now had the pleasure of conversing. "Was there any point this at all?" As if in response to his question, the scene around them faded into darkness, only to resolve into a starkly different one. "Wait, what?"

"This is what I need to show you." Pinkie explained, pointing out the two ponies in front of them. Mild and Silver, presumably fresh after their escape, stood in what looked like a part of the warship. They were talking to somepony, who was conveniently hidden from Comet's apparently limited view. "This is what you need to know before you wake up."

***

"Well, that went rather smoothly, all things considered." Mild thought so, anyway. They had left Team Fuckass crippled, with all the players down to just one life each, and they had managed to escape unharmed. "Don't you think, Silver?" The unicorn in question seemed somewhat less happy with their escape.

"We got out alive, so that's something. But we can't rest on our laurels yet. They'll be chasing us, and we need to get moving before that happens." Retrieving a sheet of paper and a Monopony board from her sylladex, she nodded towards the unseen figure. "I've got the components you asked for." Although Comet couldn't see this shadowy pony, he could hear his rich, yet sinister reply.

"Ah... thank you, my dear. Not long now before we have all of the necessary pieces. And what of the frog? Is it dead?" The voice betrayed the urgency of the question - whoever it was; they clearly wanted to make sure their instructions had been carried out exactly.

"Yes, of course it is." Mild answered, displaying an uncharacteristically solid backbone as he replied to this mysterious pony that was imposing enough even without being visible. "You leave my jobs to me, and worry about your own tasks. It will soon be time for you to make good on your promises."

"I would comment on how you've got some nerve to speak to me like that, but it would only go to your head, and that's the last thing I need. What I would really like is for you to be quiet for a few minutes." When he next spoke, it was clear that the pony was addressing Silver. "Are you ready to complete the next stage of the plan?" She nodded, which seemed to cheer him up slightly after speaking with Mild. "Excellent. You know what you have to do." Nodding again, Silver walked out of the room - presumably to carry out whatever they had been talking about. Now the voice spoke again, this time to Mild.

"Now Mild, I will leave you and Silver to meet up with my dear friends in their session... But if you'll excuse me, I have some business of my own to take care of, with a certain Twilight Sparkle..." The mystery pony allowed himself a quiet chuckle, which faded away into nothing as the entire scene fell away into nothingness. Once again, Comet and Pinkie were alone in the darkness that somehow didn't obscure them in any way.

"So what was that about then?" Comet asked, thoroughly confused now. "There's some other pony, that's what you wanted me to see?"

"Well, I guess that's one thing you can take away from all this. But no, the important part is that big super evil mystery guy is heading to Twilight's session!" Pinkie seemed thoroughly excited about this. "So when you wake up, you've got to come to our incipisphere and help us right away!"

"I thought you said you were more serious now?" Pinkie shrugged.

"It comes and goes."

***

SS: really.

ss: Yes really

ss: I know it looks bad but trust me im on your side

SS: of course you are.

SS: that'll be why you took off with the guy who just killed two of our friends.

SS: knowing full well that your plan would involve our friends getting killed.

ss: Theyre alright now though right

SS: well, yes. but that's not the point!

SS: you can't just come crawling back and say 'oh, it's OK, I was just pretending to be a traitorous bitch!'

ss: Well believe what you will

ss: Im just trying to help so here you go

ss: Milds next move is to head into nublets session

ss: Yuu8E3Es

ss: Thats the code for a device that lets you travel anywhere in nublets incipisphere

ss: You should be able to use it from outside their session in order to break into it

ss: Although just a word of warning

ss: Youll end up somewhere in the session but using it from outside makes the final location a little uncertain

SS: and you know this because Mild trusts you completely, of course.

ss: I guess

SS: hmph. we'll see.

ss: Of course and i wouldnt expect you to trust me after what happened

ss: Just try and remember that im helping you as best i can

SS: OK.

[shiningSeraphim (ss) ceased pestering suspiciousSerpent (SS)]

"OK everypony, listen up." Diamond hadn't exactly been at the forefront of the group during this campaign, but it wasn't difficult for her to get the attention of the rather sombre group of ponies. Destiny and Ember were still recovering from the shock of having been dead until recently, and Comet was still unconscious. "Silver's been in touch; apparently she's just pretending to be with Mild, so that she can help us from behind enemy lines, as it were."

"Does she realise that none of us are going to believe that?" Ember asked bitterly, his pride hurt more than anything else. "Why didn't she say anything if she knew all about this plan of his?"

"The excuse she gave me was that we wouldn't stand a chance in direct combat, and we need her on the inside to have a chance of defeating him, but whatever. The point is that she's sent us the code for something that will let us get into Nublet's session, since apparently that's Mild's next target."

"It isn't." Slowly picking himself up, Comet was relieved to see Destiny and Ember staring down at him. At least they were alive. "But we need to get over there anyway, they're all in trouble. And yes, hello everyone, I'm back from my semi-spiritual ghost dream."

"We know that they're in trouble, you already told us that." Summer pointed out. "Didn't you say we just had to hope that they got through it all?"

"That was about the prototyping thing. This is different, somepony is heading to their session who’s in cahoots with Mild and Silver." He nodded to Diamond. "And he wants us to face him in Nublet's session, which is why Silver's sent you that code."

"In that case, wouldn't it be a really bad idea to go to Nublet's session?" Comet pretended to think about Summer's question for a few moments before shrugging.

"Well, thanks to that guy, whoever he is, our frog is dead. I spent ages making that frog. So if it's all the same to you, I want him dead." And that was really all there was to say on the matter.

Chapter 16

View Online

CRB: So, um, I think that's everything.

CRB: But we really need to do something, because I'm not sure how long it's going to take before the monsters decide to attack the Boutique...

PCM: OK, don't worry, I'll think of something. You're safe at the moment, right?

CRB: Yeah...

PCM: Well, the four of you just stay there, and I'll be over shortly.

PCM: Once I've jumped all these frogs into the future.

PCM: Then you can come over here and start breeding them!

CRB: :)

PCM: OK, talk to you all later!

[PAST crespucularMagicant stopped responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

[CURRENT fractalAbomination began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

CFA: attention! calling all noobs

CFA: this is your early morning wake up call

CFA: alerting you to the fact that you've slept in, the toast is burnt, you've missed your business meeting

CFA: and basically shit has just gotten real in every meaning of the phrase, except one

CFA: but before all that

CFA: hey nublets, how's it going?

[CURRENT adamantineCorsair began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

CAC: Thank you for pointing out that we're in trouble, we hadn't noticed.

CAC: Except that Rainbow and I would be dead if Applejack and Fluttershy hadn't shown up when they did.

CFA: boohoo. dying means fuck all in this game

CFA: as i have now realised that, thanks to a certain stab-happy thief

CFA: all of my group have died once, and we're all very much alive

CFA: and also furious

CAC: My dream self already is dead, and I can't very well pull a trick like Pinkie when there's so many underlings in between my home and my quest bed.

CFA: meh, guess not

CFA: although since you bring it up, your little god tier friend is your best weapon now. where is she?

CAC: I don't know. We haven't seen her since she ascended.

CFA: i'd recommend you just sit tight until she shows up again. all but the most powerful of even your underlings should be child's play for a fully realised bard

CAC: Bard?

CFA: yes. she's a bard of void. by celestia, are you paying attention to anything that's happened yet? how do i know more about your session than you do?

CAC: Well, I have only just entered the game, and thanks to my artifact forcing me into prototyping that ring, I now find myself... what's the word...

CAC: House-trapped.

CFA: yeah, well, anyway

CFA: getting back on topic

CFA: when i said that shit has gotten real, i didn't mean your ridiculously terrible prototyping, although that is still a very bad thing

CFA: i meant that your session is being invaded

CAC: Oh? By who?

CFA: i have no idea

[CURRENT prismaticAscension began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

CPA: Worst. Warning. Ever.

CFA: i see what you did there

CFA: and no, it isn't. the worst warning ever was emmy

CFA: who apparently knew all along about mild being a complete idiot, but figured it'd be fun to not tell anyone until after our game was ruined

CPA: Hah.

CFA: this is going nowhere fast

CAC: Well, what did you want? We all have a lot of things to get done. I don't even know what happened in your session.

CFA: urgh...

CFA: ok, you know what?

CFA: recap time, everypony!

CRB: Uh... a recap of what?

CFA: everything

CFA: ok, so

CFA: myself, emmy, des, dawn, diamond, and acapella

CFA: are in team fuckass, and have technically finished the game, even though our frog is dead

CFA: on an unrelated note, mild and silver are hereby removed from the team for high treason

CFA: they're now in their own little group with some weird shadowy pony that none of us have even the slightest clue about, all we know is that he's the reason our frog is dead and so we're going to kill him

CFA: their little trio of evil will hereafter be referred to as the asshole squad

CFA: may all their endeavours result in at least one of them becoming severely injured, amen

CFA: although, silver is claiming to be on our side, but who knows for sure

CFA: personally, as much as i may feel bad about it, i don't trust her

CFA: anyway, silver and mild are going somewhere, we're not sure where atm

CFA: but we do know that the third member of the AS is going to your session

CFA: presumably to make it even worse than it already is, somehow, possibly by killing your frog the way he did ours

CFA: maybe he's just a guy who really hates frogs

CFA: even though that's kind of silly and would never make a credible villain

CFA: moving on to the next team, we have, in no particular order

CFA: fluttershy, twilight, pinkie pie, rainbow dash, rarity, and whatsherface

[CURRENT obstinateCultivator began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

COC: Applejack.

CFA: right

CFA: you're all in team nublet, cause you're noobs

CAC: I'm not sure those are real words, darling.

CFA: the reason you don't understand them is that you're a noob

CFA: the point is that your group, true to its name, has completely fucked up your prototypings to the degree that the game is basically unplayable for such inexperienced players

CFA: and if i'm right about the visitor who should be on his way, it's about to get a whole lot worse

CAC: Thank you for telling us everything we already know. Is there anything else?

CFA: yes, there is. i figure i might as well mention them

CFA: while we're on this whistlestop tour of the seemingly endless temporal clusterfuck jamboree that we've got going on

CFA: we also have another group who seem to have no connection to either of us yet, but still insist on existing and being annoying

CFA: they are heliacalDreamer, midnightEclipse, amniomorphicWizard, suspiciousSeraphim, and eclecticSage

CFA: but they aren't talking to us any more because apparently time shit is involved

CFA: i mean, obviously, that goes without saying. time shit is always involved

CFA: but in any case, they don't get a team name until we figure out what the hell they're up to

COC: So, to put it in a nutshell...

CFA: that's already in a nutshell

CFA: imagine how long it would take to write it all out properly

CFA: probably about 3.5 months or something ridiculous like that

COC: To put it in a nutshell... y'all screwed up and didn't stop this unknown pony when ya had the chance.

COC: And now it's our problem.

CFA: well, to be fair, we didn't even know about his existence until i had my crazy prophecy dream where i met your pink friend

CFA: but it's not all your problem, don't worry

CFA: we will soon be joining your session to unleash a world of pain on the aforementioned invaders

CFA: think of us as the incredibly well timed dragon swooping down to save you

CFA: to use an incredibly contrived metaphor

COC: Hrm.

CFA: now if you'll excuse me, i have a high powered business meeting with my cohorts

CFA: feel free to sit around aimlessly in the mean time

CRB: Uh... OK, bye.

CFA: later

[CURRENT fractalAbomination stopped responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

***

It was strange how, even here in the deepest corner of the Veil, Skaia still shone brightly from the centre of the incipisphere. A dot of blue against the pitch black darkness, mocking the people of Derse from afar. But to Mild, the light was not insulting to the eye, but seemed to be beckoning him towards it. Skaia wanted its hero to return. He was a prince of Prospit, after all - his dream self's destiny had always been tied to the planet. But now, that was in the past. His new destiny concerned itself with a different place at the centre of an entirely different system - but not an entirely unrelated one. And the sooner Silver came out to meet him, the sooner they could begin the journey towards that centre. Oh and here she was. That was convenient.

"I take it you gave them the code?" Mild asked as Silver Edge walked out onto the deck of the ship. She nodded. "Well then, I suppose we're all set. Shall we?"

"I guess. Maybe I'll finally be able to get some answers, once we meet... you know. Her." Silver knew that she didn't need to specify who she was talking about. Both of them knew already, just as they knew - and therefore didn't need to discuss - everything about their destination. Which was convenient for them, but mildly irritating for anypony who happened to be observing their actions. "It seems odd that everything that's happened so far hinges on how well we can handle what happens next."

"Well, Time isn't either of our departments; we're not supposed to understand." In a way, of course, their future success was already determined by their previous triumphs. Then again, fooling yourself into thinking that you couldn't fail was suicide. "Do you have the Gate?"

The Gate, just to be clear, is something that should be treated as highly mysterious and intriguing, and should be accompanied by suitable feelings of awe and wonder as Silver retrieves it from her sylladex.

"OK then, time to go." Silver made the necessary adjustments to the instrument, and hovered a hoof over it in preparation. "Ready?"

"Yeah." The hoof was lowered, the Gate activated, and the two ponies were sent billions of years to the left.

***

You make the MONOPONY IS ALREADY A PUN!

"So... wait, this is what?" Acapella asked, as she picked up the monopony board from the alchemiter. It seemed just like any other, except that now it was now round and apparently powered by popamatic bubble technology. "And how does it help?" Diamond shrugged.

"Well, I don't know. All I know is that Silver said we could use it to get into Nublet's session." Lifting the board out of Acapella's grip with her magic, Diamond inspected the circular map. "LONAG, LOTAF, LOSAL, LOPAL, LOSAF... that's their session, right?" This question was directed at Comet, who seemed to have taken on the role of knowing everything about the game - if only because none of the others could be bothered.

"Yeah, that's them." Comet had by now finished his recap of the current situation, and was in the process of packing away his laptop. "We should probably be heading off soon. There's no point hanging around a dead session."

"It seems like a waste, doesn't it?" Summer asked, gesturing around them at the all but destroyed Battlefield littered with corpses. "We were so close..."

"Yeah." Disheartening though it was, there was of course a silver lining to their misfortune. "But hold on to your frustration, because when we catch up to Mild there's going to be a whole other Reckoning." Oh, and speak of the devil-fucking dickens.

[psychoticDeceiver began pestering fractalAbomination]

PD: Hey.

FA: oh, you can still talk to us?

FA: i mean, obviously, i don't know why you wouldn't be able to just because you're suddenly a backstabbing asshole

FA: wait, that's not what 'suddenly' means, that implies a rapid change in your personality

FA: which is wrong, of course

PD: Uhuh.

FA: you've always been a complete asshole is what i'm trying to say

PD: I got that.

FA: good, i just wanted to make sure

PD: Anyway.

PD: I would just like to say that I dont see why we should be enemies.

PD: You could just let go of the petty grudge that youre no doubt harbouring against me.

PD: Wouldnt that be easier?

FA: yeah

FA: but it wouldn't be as satisfying as killing you

PD: By Celestia, Im trying to let you guys off easy here, for old times sake.

PD: Do you seriously think you could kill me?

FA: yes, yes i do

FA: because at the end of the day, while you've got magic and god tier powers and all that bs

FA: we have something you'll never have

PD: What, friendship? :P

FA: actually, i was going to say something about how we're filled up with anger and determination because of losing something that we put a lot of effort into, implying you never have and never will put any effort into anything because you're lazy

FA: but since you bring it up, you suck and have no friends

FA: that's a much better insult, thanks

FA: lol

PD: Why do I even bother...

FA: i strongly suspect it has something to do with you being an asshole

PD: ... how?

FA: idk, but you are

PD: Ok, never mind. Im going, and if I were you Id stay out of my way in the future.

FA: oh, don't worry, we won't get in your way

FA: backstabs do more damage

[fractalAbomination ceased being pestered by psychoticDeceiver]

"What did he want?" Summer asked, as Comet once again captchalogued his laptop.

"I think he wanted to be insulted repeatedly." Comet shrugged. "I can't really think of any other reason why he would start messaging me." Calmly walking over to Diamond, he waved his hoof aimlessly over the MAP. "Now, let's get this show on the road. Oh, and Emmy?" At the mention of his name - or at least, the irritating nickname that Comet had forced onto him - Ember looked up.

"Yeah?"

"I just realised I forgot to tell you this earlier, but if you see any frogs, something tells me you should leave them be." So saying, he pressed down onto the central button, and the six ponies were sent catapulting through time and space. Mostly space, to be honest. But, of course, it's essentially the same thing either way.

***END OF ACT 2 ACT 1***

"We thank the Mage for returning our charges to us." The bear consorts which occupied the Land of Trees and Frogs had been very nice about allowing Twilight to take the frogs in the past, and were positively ecstatic about her returning them in the present. "And so the unity of Time and Space is assured. Now we must wait for our Seer to see the way." Spike failed to hide a yawn - this debriefing had lasted entirely too long for his liking. Of course, Twilight was thoroughly enjoying herself, and shot the dragon a vicious glare at his interruption before smiling back at the bear chieftain.

"Yes, of course. There's a few things we need to take care of before Fluttershy can... well, leave the Boutique. They're surrounded by underlings, and the approaching fire is going to get to them soon, so they're in a bad way. Me and Spike will have to leave to help them straight away!" Twilight paused, checking to make sure that she had covered everything. "Are you all alright here, against the underlings?"

"We appreciate your concern, for we understand that our cousins in realms far beyond this are not always treated to such respect. But we will be fine, and the frogs will be kept safe. Oh, and before you leave..." The chieftain waved a paw, and a pair of smaller bears entered carrying a large bottle of ink. "We have a gift for the Mage - ink fit for the weapon of only the highest scholar." Picking up the bottle magically, Twilight read the label. Ink of Squid Pro Quo. "We trust you can make use of this?"

***

Damn it. Damn it all to heck. He had that shot. He had it. But did he take it? No. Stupid stupid stupid. Damn.

Taking a brief moment of respite from his campaign of self-hate, the Artillery Regulator sighed wearily as he glanced upwards to Skaia. Despite the years of conditioning that taught Dersites to hate or otherwise fear Prospit and Skaia, the light of the great crucible above him felt refreshing. Almost... hopeful. Or at least, it was hopeful in contrast to his thoughts of Derse, and of his fate when the Queen learned of what had happened. Or, if not the Queen, then of the Thief who had visited them. Somehow that seemed worse. Regardless, he had screwed up in a big way, and he knew it. Not only had he failed to eliminate the Bard, but he had allowed her to ascend to the God Tiers, undoing all the good he had done by killing her dream self! Stupid! Argh!

Wait, what was that?

A slight movement in the corner of his sight drew the regulator's attention to a pair of tiny purple specks - the Mage, and her assistant, here? It was almost too much to hope for, if he wasn't able to see them for himself. Double checking his equipment, the regulator began to sprint towards the Mage, while she entered Sugarcube Corner.

***

"OK Spike, it's time to test out this code." Twilight had been wondering for quite some time about the code PH04?D6E. Whatever it was, it was surely a powerful weapon for it to cost so much grist. It was, in other words, just what she needed to get the edge over the underlings. And so she had stopped off in the Land of Presents and Laughter to try and make the mystery item. She duly punched the code into the designix, made her card, carved her totem, and once again stood before the alchemiter.

As it turned out, her millions of units of build grist and shale and amethyst and all other kinds of grist notwithstanding, she was fifty granite short of being able to make the item. It seemed that the game did not think it was appropriate for her to have that kind of power at this stage, which was disappointing.

"Oh. Well, that's disappointing." It was also something of a spanner in the works. Admittedly, Twilight was much higher up her echeladder than any of the others, except maybe Applejack, but the entire Boutique was surrounded. She couldn't take on that many by herself.

"You've always got me," Spike said, as if reading her thoughts. "We'll make it, just like always." Twilight smiled a little at that.

"Of course we will, I'm just-" Twilight broke off, catching a glimpse of someone - or something - through the window, outside of Pinkie's home. "Wait, what's that?"

"What's what?" Spike pushed Twilight out of the way to get a better view of the land outside. "Hm, it's some guy who looks kind of like an underling. Except I don't think I've seen an underling using a... uh... whatever that is." Whatever the weapon that the small carapaced individual outside of Sugarcube Corner was using, all Spike knew was that it didn't look like much fun.

"Let me see." Taking another look out of the window, Twilight glared intently at the figure, as one end of the weapon flashed brightly and propelled a large projectile out of the tube. "I think it's a-"

Silencing her answer, as well as any debate over whether or not a pony living in the time period from which Twilight originates would be able to recognise a rocket launcher, the side of Sugarcube Corner promptly exploded.

***

[CURRENT mushroomAddict began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

CMA: sO

CMA: wHERE IS EVERYPONY NONE OF YOU ARE ONLINE

CMA: aND i DONT KNOW WHERE i AM EXCEPT THAT ITS TERRIBLE AND THERE ARE FROGS AND THATS WHY ITS SO TERRIBLE

CMA: gUYS

[PAST fractalAbomination began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

PFA: holy fuck can you not wait for ten fucking minutes

PFA: we knew this was going to happen

PFA: silver told us that teleporting into nublet's session from outside would get us separated

PFA: figures that she meant temporally as well

PFA: space and time are pretty much the same thing, after all

PFA: which i suppose is a blessing, because if it was all up to you to understand the weird space shit then celestia help us all

CMA: wELL YOU DONT KNOW THAT WHAT YOURE SAYING IS TRUE

PFA: that's right, i don't

PFA: you're the one who's supposed to know

CMA: hOW THE FUCK AM i SUPPOSED TO KNOW NOPONY TOLD ME THIS STUFF

PFA: nopony was supposed to

PFA: seriously. grow a fucking brain, or at least some patience

[FUTURE mechanicalNoisemaker began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

FMN: I just thought that I'd point out that Comet was right

FMN: We'll be online again in a few minutes

PFA: told you

FMN: Shut up

CMA: ok THEN iLL JUST WAIT i GUESS

CMA: mAYBE KILL SOME FROGS OR SOMETHING

FMN: No don't

FMN: Doing that is a really terrible idea

FMN: Trust me

CMA: i REALLY THINK i SHOULD KILL THE FROGS

FMN: Well fine

FMN: I only know it's a bad idea because of what happens when you do it

FMN: So I guess that actually you have to

PFA: yeah

FMN: Shut up

PFA: i was agreeing with you

FMN: Shut up

PFA: stop saying that

FMN: Fine

[FUTURE mechanicalNoisemaker stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

PFA: what the hell did i do to piss her off this time

PFA: and by this time, i of course mean in the future

PFA: whatever, it's not important

CMA: iM GOING TO GO KILL SOME FROGS NOW

PFA: yeah, sure

[CURRENT mushroomAddict stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

[FUTURE mushroomAddict began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

FMA: uH

FMA: cOMET

PFA: what?

FMA: cAN YOU TELL PAST ME THAT i SHOULDNT KILL THE FROGS

PFA: C:

PFA: no. firstly because whatever it is, it clearly isn't lethal

PFA: and i think you deserve to end up on the business end of your own stupidity for once

FMA: >:(

PFA: also, let's imagine that i will tell your past self

PFA: he, in spite of the warning, quite clearly just went off with the intention of killing frogs

PFA: you complete dumbass, you don't know the first thing about time travel, do you?

FMA: wHATEVER JUST TELL HIM

PFA: sure, but only so i have something else to put on the list of your terrible ideas

PFA: there's not much on there, because you rarely have any ideas

FMA: uRGH WHATEVER

[FUTURE mushroomAddict stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

PFA: heh

PFA: does anyone else, from any time period, have something they want to say?

PFA: ... no?

PFA: ok then

[PAST fractalAbomination stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS]

***

The Mage was weakened, but not yet dead. Luckily, the regulator had prepared for such an eventuality, having had the foresight to bring along his trusty knife. Man, he loved his trusty knife. If he didn't have his trusty knife, he'd probably slit his wrists. While the dragon had been knocked out by the blast, the unicorn was still hanging on to consciousness, looking towards him with a pleading expression.

"Who... who are you..." she asked, seeking some reason for the seemingly unprovoked attack. "Why... why did you do this?"

Briefly, the regulator considered the list of awesome one-liners he could use next. 'I'm the guy who keeps the afterlife in business', and 'Screw the rules, I have money' were his two favourites, but only one of those actually made sense in context. Besides, he didn't have any money. His reply chosen, he strode towards the Mage, knife in hand. Timing was everything here.

"I'm the guy who keeps the afterlife in business," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, as he began to swing the knife downwards.

"Actually, that would be your mother." The knife halted, and the regulator span around on the spot to face an unfamiliar pony - a teal unicorn, with a large book hovering by his side. "You know, because so many people die. As a result of sleeping with her. Get it?" A moment of silence passed, which Comet spent looking around awkwardly. "Oh, just forget it." With that, the book leapt forwards and smashed into the regulator's skull, causing him to fall down onto the floor. Neither Comet nor Twilight bothered to check if he was going to get back up. Instead, Comet stepped over the freshly deceased agent and helped Twilight to her feet.

"You took your time."

***

"This seems oddly familiar," Acapella remarked, as she and Diamond suddenly found themselves in the shadows of huge, looming towers. "Isn't this Derse?" While her dream self had only been on the planet for a short time, the architecture and all pervasive colour scheme of Derse was quite iconic.

"I think so." Diamond agreed, warily eyeing the shadows for any signs of an agent - or worse - lurking in the darkness. She, of course, had never been to Derse, but the planet was essentially identical to Prospit. Which was all part of the balance, of course. "Not our Derse, though. This must be Nublet's Derse."

"How can you tell?"

"Towers." Pointing upwards, Diamond gestured towards the purple moon of Derse, relatively bright against the perfectly dark sky. At the current angle of the moon relative to their position on Derse, the dream towers could clearly be seen. Three of them, as opposed to the four of their session. "Speaking of which, we're down on the actual planet. And more than that, we're not the princesses of this session. Which means we can and will be attacked by any agents who happen to find us." Nodding upwards - an unusually awkward movement reserved for those who have used all of their more common methods for drawing attention to something, but who would sacrifice their own comfort for the sake of avoiding repetition. "Whereas, the dream towers would be a good place to hide, or at least to meet up with the nublets."

"Sounds good," Acapella commented, before nudging Diamond in the shoulder. "But it might be a good idea to wait for a little bit before you go flying off. Look who it is." Following Acapella's line of sight, Diamond glanced through the air to where Silver Edge was slowly gliding around the buildings.

"Hm, fancy seeing her here. I thought that Silver was going to some other session?" Acapella shrugged. "Well, whatever. If she's here, then that means that Mild must be around here somewhere. We'd best tread carefully."

"Oh, it's far too late for that." Mild said, stepping out from the darkness behind the two unicorns. "No, I think your best bet would be to tread as rapidly as possible, in whatever direction you deem safest." He smiled evilly, drawing multiple daggers from his sylladex and magically juggling them in a circle around him. "Tell you what - I'll give you a five second head start."

***

"Rarity, we really need to do something about this," Rainbow called down from her vantage point by the second floor window. "Where the word 'this' could mean the underlings surrounding us, the time limit we have to complete the game within, or the ever approaching fire which is burning up the entire planet. Actually, 'this' means all of those things, and probably some more stuff that we don't know about yet."

"Well Ah'd love to hear what ya think we should be doing, Rainbow!" Applejack shouted back, voicing the opinions of all three ponies whom were waiting downstairs. "But until ya have any ideas, ya ain't doing any better than the rest of us!"

"Yeah, I know." Rainbow sulkily turned back to her post at the window. She, of all ponies, should be the last one to be trapped inside like this. Sadly, she had learned the hard way that some of the underlings had ranged attacks, so simply flying away wasn't an option. "Wait, what's that?" It was at that point that Rainbow noticed something - two pegasi she didn't recognise, on the other side of the wall of underlings. "Hey, there's somepony out there!" In the room downstairs, the others all clambered to the window, to take in what happened next.

The three ogres who were blocking the path towards Carousel Boutique were all vaguely surprised to discover just how 'vital' their vital organs were, as three loud rifle shots blasted holes straight through their thick carapaces. As the volley of bullets continued, they were one by one cut down by a flurry of blades.

Now ignoring the remaining underlings, who were only just beginning to realise that there were ponies out in the open, the two pegasi quickly dashed towards the Boutique, leaving a blurred trail of deep blue and red behind them. Hurriedly unlocking the door, Applejack opened the entrance to let the ponies in before slamming it shut once again. Everypony took a few moments for the excitement to wear off, while Summer Dawn and Destiny stood panting from exhaustion. Oddly enough, it was Fluttershy who was the first to speak.

"Ohmygosh, that was amazing! How did you do that? Where did you come from? Who are you? Are you here to help? What WAS that? Are you hurt? Hungry? Do you want something to eat? What about-" her barrage of questions was halted by Applejack, who approached the two newcomers with a little more caution.

"Now don't get me wrong, Ah appreciate that ya just took out a few of the underlings out there for us. But who are ya?" The blue pegasus looked her directly in the eyes, and grinned.

"I'm Summer Dawn, and I'm here to drink alcohol and kick ass... and I'm all out of alcohol." The red pegasus next to her coughed. "OK, actually there is still some alcohol, but Destiny here has seen fit to remove the alcohol from my possession until an unspecified point in the future. The point is that I'm here to kick ass."

"Smooth, Summer." Destiny commented, rolling her eyes apologetically at the assembled ponies. "Relax everypony; the psychopath and her alcoholic friend are here to save the day."

"Uh..." Fluttershy began, searching for the right response. "Yay?"

Chapter 17

View Online

***ACT 2 ACT 2***

"You complete idiot!" Silver Edge had long since passed the point when she was surprised by the degree to which Mild was capable of completely failing at everything. It still stung a little, though. "Let me clear something up here, OK? You're allowed to say that you'll give your victims a five second head start, in order to be a badass which I know is something you have some kind of werid fetish for. You do not actually give them five seconds to run away. I cannot believe that you actually did that."

"And what about you? I didn't see you rushing to help," Mild retorted, clawing back the few inches that he could. "You were just flying around having the time of your life."

"I looked over, and I saw a Thief of Mind aiming knives at two relatively weak and helpless mares. I did not think 'Oh, it looks like Mild needs my help'. I let myself believe, for a few precious seconds, that I had a partner who was HALFWAY COMPETENT!" She was practically screaming at this point, the frustration that she had gradually accumulated flowing through her. "Now, Acapella and Diamond are somewhere on Derse. We don't know where they are, what they're doing - we don't even know if they're still on the planet!"

"OK, OK, let's just think." Mild was becoming aware that the Black Queen and King were watching the argument from their end of the throne room. He needed to get things back under control. "Our main goal here is to keep them all distracted and off balance for as long as possible, until the King is in play." Silver nodded warily, waiting to see where he was going with this trail of thought. "Until the switch is complete, we only have ourselves - and the whole of the Dersite army - to rely on. With that in mind, I propose the following."

He then proceeded to go into a fairly detailed plan which revolved around a lot of subterfuge and sending agents on special missions, some of which was far too spoilery - and all of which was far too long winded - to describe in full. Eventually coming to an agreement over the best course of action, Mild turned to include the monarchs in the debate.

"So, we need someone with guts, who won't mess around, who'll cut to the chase and get the job done. Who's your best man?" The Queen considered the question for a few moments, before replying with certainty. There was one person who was brought to mind, primarily due to the word 'cut'.

"Jack Noir."

***

"Worst. Planet. Ever." Absolute terms like 'worst' were thrown around a lot, but Ember was pretty sure that it was the correct term this time. The Land of Trees and Frogs was a complete hellhole, filled with bears and frogs and pointed sticks. The sticks were usually owned by the bears, who had apparently taken it upon themselves to defend the frogs against any wandering earth pony that decided to kill every last gog damn frog on the planet. Which probably didn't happen all that often, but regardless they had reacted rather quickly to Ember's attempted genocide. It was lucky for him that bears were herbivores, Ember reflected.

It hadn't been all that long ago that he had been back on his planet, the Land of Joy and Frogs - also a terrible planet, but at least it was made tolerable by the absence of bears and pointed sticks. That was back when he had been making the Genesis Frog with Comet, which had been frustrating and dull. Constantly running around, grabbing frogs, rushing back to base, pushing buttons, calculating gene sequences, and loads of other stuff which had barely anything to do with being a hero of Space - as far as he understood, anyway. Still, there had been some fun times as well. He remembered it as if it was yesterday...

***FLASHBACK***

"I still think this is just stupid," Ember commented for the nth time. It had long since passed the point where Comet had bothered to keep track of the value of n, although he suspected it mapped neatly onto an exponential curve which was represented by n=f(t), where t was equivalent to the time they had been talking for. He had amused himself for the last half an hour by theorising what the significance of the unknown function would be, and whether or not there was an item in existence which would have that function as an equation to solve when stored in his sylladex. Occasionally he had nodded or given vague grunts to convince Ember that he was listening to whatever he was saying. "I mean, I'm meant to be a Prince of Space. I should be making black holes, or making things explode. Something cool like that. What's the point of all this frog stuff?"

"The fact that you didn't listen the last time I answered that, or the time before that, or in fact any of the countless times that I've answered your question, makes me wonder if there's any point in answering again," Comet replied, vaguely irritated. After several hours of frog hunting, everything started to be vaguely irritating. Especially ponies who were vaguely irritating to begin with. "But fine. The frog stuff is the Space stuff, OK? The frogs, and breeding the frogs, and all this genetic sequencing and hunting and correcting and splicing and bullshit, this is all inherently linked with Space. The frog which we are attempting to create, the Genesis Frog, the frog with the perfectly structured, perfectly measured DNA sequences, is a literal embodiment of Space. In its genes are the building blocks of matter itself. This frog is, in every sense of the word, a Universe, and the slightest mistake in its genetic sequence will make that Universe imperfect. Flawed, maybe fatally so. So in the first case, we cannot fuck this up. That's not even an option. And in the second case, the frog thing is more to do with Space than space itself." Ember listened to all of this carefully, although his eyes were beginning to close by the end of Comet's speech. He had already heard this explanation f(t) times before, after all.

"Yeah, sure." The two ponies continued in relative silence for a few moments, before Comet was struck by a sudden premonition of the future. He halted.

"Emmy."

"What?"

"This WAS yesterday, you dumb fuck."

***NOT A FLASHBACK***

Stupid lousy time powers, Ember thought darkly, as he returned his attention to the real world. At that moment, the real world largely consisted of bears with serious expressions. They were stationed at various points around the small prison where he had been stored for the time being, until the consorts decided what to do with him. Besides the occasional croak, the room was silent. At least, it was until voices began to drift downwards from the building above. The first voice that Ember managed to make out was recognisably the voice of the bear elder, who had taken it upon himself to explain to Ember in great detail just why he was so terrible.

"Ah, Seer. It is good to have you with us again." The next voice - presumably belonging to the Seer - was much fainter, although the respectful silence she was being given made sure that her voice was heard.

"Thank you. My, there... there are a lot of frogs now, aren't there?"

"Of course. You will need many frogs in your quest." Far too many, Ember quietly added.

"Right, sure. Um... about that..." Now there was a pause that lasted just a little too long, to the point where Ember was no longer sure if the Seer was simply unsure of herself, or if she had actually passed out. "What is my quest? What are all of these frogs for?"

"We have told you this before, Seer. You are to create the Ultimate Being, the Genesis Frog, from these humble creatures."

"Yes, I know. I just... I'm not sure what that actually means." There was another pause, as the elder collected his thoughts.

"Hm. I'm afraid that such knowledge is kept hidden from us. Only you can comprehend the true nature of your task - discovering how the process works is simply another of your trials."

"Oh... OK. But, what actually is the Ultimate Being?"

"To put it simply... the Ultimate Being is an entirely new Universe." There was a loud gasp of shock, which presumably came from the Seer.

Ember groaned inwardly, and lay down in a more comfortable position as he listened to yet another round of terrible, unnecessarily complex exposition. He had already heard all of this nonsense about ancient technology and ectobiological ruins before. He did not need to hear all of it again.

***

"12. It's definitely 12." Comet repeated with certainty, once again retracing his steps around the large stone pillars which littered the room he and Twilight found themselves in.

"12 what?" Twilight asked, a little annoyed at how little she was being involved in the puzzle solving. Not that she didn't appreciate having some help with the underlings, of course.

"12 metres, 12 kelvin, 12 shrews, it doesn't matter. Either way, it should be... yeah, this one right here." He tapped his horn against one of the pillars, completely indistinguishable from the others in every way. "Take it down, Sparkles."

"I'll take you down if you call me that again," Twilight said between gritted teeth, before complying and smashing the pillar apart with a blast of magic. "Couldn't you have done that?"

"Well, if you really want me to do everything myself, then I suppose I could do that. Anyway, here we go." Left behind by the blast was the latest puzzle piece, which Comet quickly picked up. Then he checked the equation, just for the sake of it. "Heh, would you look at that. 'Given that x is a positive integer at the intersection of the lines y = 4x^2 + 24 and y = 45x + 60, find x.' 12, just like I told you."

"Uhuh. And you realised that this was the puzzle... how?" Twilight was thoroughly annoyed at how little sense this was making. It was just a room filled with pillars. Nowhere was there any indication of any kind of underlying mathematics that governed the room. It didn't help that she wasn't the best at quadratic equations anyway.

"Now that would be telling," Comet said as he attempted to give Twilight a sly wink, but failed miserably. "Anyway, onwards and upwards."

"Onwards and upwards," Twilight repeated dryly.

***

"Huh, spooky woods. Now I can see what you meant."

"Eeyup." Returning to the Land of Secrets and Lies was not something that Applejack had been looking forward to. Still, at least Summer was with her. That was a good thing, right? "So what exactly are we trying to achieve here?"

"I don't know. Your quests won't be anything like mine, since both your class and your aspect are completely different to mine." Which was a shame, Summer reflected. Her destiny as the Heir of Light had been thoroughly entertaining, not to mention profitable. "Mostly, I just flew around sniping underlings all over the place."

"Ah see. Well, before Ah left this place the first time, Ah was mostly just trying to help people. A lot of them are dying, mostly because of their own mistakes." Indeed, it seemed as if the entire planet was actively trying to damage itself. Every single consort Applejack had met was secretly planning something, and it was difficult to trust any of them when they were only helping her for as long as it helped them. It was stupid, destructive, and Applejack couldn't stand it. "They're all as bad as each other, but Ah can't just stand by and not do anything. Ah'm just not convinced that it'll be worth it in the end."

"Well, I think our best course of action is to track down the path to your denizen." Summer spoke slowly, unsure of her position. Whatever this planet had planned for them, it was completely outside of her own experience.

"My denizen?"

"Yeah. All of the planets have a super powerful boss at the centre, which is related to your aspect. And sure, you might not be ready to defeat it just yet. But if the path to the palace is anything like mine, you will be by the time we get there."

"So we should get right onto that, Ah suppose?"

"No." Summer pointed a hoof behind Applejack, who turned around just in time to dodge the oncoming basilisk. "First we take this thing out. Then we get right onto that."

***

"That was just a little too close, Acapella," Diamond said, still out of breath from running. The two of them had gotten away from Mild some time ago, but had continued on into the night. Now they were hiding underneath a bridge on the dark side of the planet, exactly where no one would think to look for them.

"Oh, relax. We're not dead, are we?" While Diamond was at least aware of their situation, Acapella seemed thoroughly relaxed about the whole thing. "And now that we're on Derse, but they don't know our location, we're in a position to do some real damage if we play our cards right."

"Uhuh. Except that Mild will be waiting for us when we go back to the palace, and we'll be seen if we try to head to the moon."

"Oh, but you forget, we have somepony on the inside!" The Derse dreamer grinned. "Just get on the laptop to Silver, get her to buy us some time, then we can get up to that moon."

"We don't have somepony on the inside, Acapella. Silver's blatantly working with Mild and that other guy." While it was technically up for debate, Silver was the enemy as far as Diamond was concerned. Thanks to her, Diamond had been stuck with this stupid camerakind abstrata, not to mention that the traitor owed Diamond half of her life back. Or was it the other way around?

"Why don't you trust her? She gave us the MAP to get into this session, didn't she?"

"Yes." Diamond looked around them. A dark stream of what probably wasn't water trickled along a canal, while the streets above them accumulated a thin layer of mist, and there was almost complete silence. Nothing dared to venture out into the open. "Look how well that turned out."

"Oh, come on, I say we trust her. What's the worst that could happen?" Not waiting, or particularly wanting, to hear the answer, Acapella retrieved her laptop from her sylladex.

[homelessChicken began pestering shiningSeraphim (ss)]

HC: Hey Silver! <:D

ss: Hello

ss: Mild was yelling about you getting away or something

ss: I hope youre both ok

HC: Oh, we're fine, don't worry!

HC: Well, I'm OK, but Diamond is being grumpy for no reason.

ss: Oh

HC: adfsahfsl[[w-23

ss: ?

HC: sorry about that, I was being stupid as usual.

HC: also I'm a gullible idiot and instantly trust everyone.

HC: look at me being all stupid and carefree.

ss: ...

ss: I know this is you diamond

HC: fuck, fine, carry on.

HC: Sorry about that! <:D

ss: Its fine

ss: I understand why shes being suspicious

ss: But i want to help if i can

HC: Well, good, because we have something you could help out with!

ss: What

HC: We want to get onto the moon, but obviously we can't with Mild on the lookout. But you could distract him or something, and then we head on up there!

ss: You realise that the moon is a really obvious place to hide

HC: That's because it's such an important place to be! We'll go up there, and then maybe we can meet up with Nublet's Derse dreamers.

ss: Well i guess that its a plan at least

HC: So, can you help? <:)

ss: Uh

ss: Maybe but i cant tell you exactly when hell be distracted

ss: So just be on standby until i give the green light i guess

HC: OK, sure!

HC: Thank you.

ss: No problem just

ss: Just make sure youre ready to go as soon as i say

HC: Yeah, of course.

ss: Bye

HC: Bye.

[homelessChicken ceased pestering shiningSeraphim (ss)]

"There, see Diamond? Nothing to worry about," Acapella said cheerfully as she packed away her laptop again. "Now, let's get back around to that chain so we're ready." With that, she took off along the side of the canal. After a moment, Diamond sighed and followed her.

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

***

"Before you go, Seer, there is one small matter that has come up..." Apparently the exposition had finished, as the words from the room above were drawn back into focus and Ember was once again aware of what was being said.

"Yes?"

"Not long after the Mage returned the frogs, another pony appeared, making noise and causing trouble." Ember wished that 'killing frogs' was an addition to the list, but sadly he had been stopped before managing to kill a single frog. "He's being kept in the dungeon, in case there was anything you could do about him..."

"Uh, OK..." A pause followed, then came quiet footsteps as the Seer walked over the floor above Ember's head, until she stopped and the entrance to the dungeon was hauled open by one of the guards. Ember rose to his feet now, as Fluttershy walked tentatively towards his cell. "Um... hello?"

"Hey... Fluttershy?" Now that he could see she was a pony, Ember knew that he was right. She was a player, and clearly she was the hero of Space, so of course that meant she was the pony he had talked to a few times already. "I'm Ember." The confused look that Fluttershy had adopted when he had called her by name was now replaced by an expression of surprise.

"Oh! From Comet's session!" He nodded. "Oh, hello, I'm sorry about this, we'll have to get you out of there right away." At her words, another of the guards stepped forwards and opened the door to allow Ember to step out of his cell.

"Thanks." It occurred to Ember that Fluttershy might not know about the whole frog killing thing. It seemed to him that keeping it that way would be a good idea. "Were you going to be getting on with your quest? Because I think that all the others are helping your friends, so... yeah." It was hard to be enthusiastic about it, especially when he knew exactly what her quests would consist of. Fluttershy didn't seem to mind.

"Oh, yes, that would be very helpful. I'm not sure I'd be able to keep track of all these frogs by myself..." With that, Fluttershy picked up a nearby frog, and hugged it. "But aren't they just the cutest things?" She looked towards Ember expectantly.

"Aren't they just." Ember repeated quietly.

***

There were more powerful underlings, but none of them quite matched the ferocity of the basilisk. Ogres were powerful but easy to confuse, whereas basilisks required a more delicate strategy. This was something which a certain pegasus learned the hard way, as the Ruby Basilisk shrugged off her attack and dove towards her with its teeth bared.

"Rainbow!"

Angrily knocking the two ogres away from her, Destiny slipped through the air towards Rainbow, sword at the ready. The basilisk had knocked Rainbow's lance beyond her reach, and had knocked Rainbow herself into a rock, so Destiny couldn't rely on any help from her. Slashing wildly into the basilisk, which promptly turned its attention to her, Destiny quickly glanced over to Rarity. The unicorn was single handedly taking on a swarm of imps, although her battle had some severe weaknesses. The most noticeable of these weaknesses was that she and the imps were becoming increasingly tangled into a colourful, blood-stained scarf. Sure, needlekind could be a vicious weapon in the hands of a master, but did Rarity really have to keep wool attached?

Regardless, Destiny was on her own for this fight. Acting from experience, she simply held her ground and waited for the underling to attack her. After a few moments of uncertainly surveying its surroundings, the basilisk did so. Scuttling in a large semicircle around the pegasus, it lunged at her side in an attempt to throw her off balance. Unfortunately for the basilisk, Destiny had fought basilisks before, and the majority had attempted the exact same move. Stepping forwards while swinging her sword to her left, she drove the blade into the side of the underling. Activating the umbrella blade inside the basilisk, she then simply held onto the weapon as the basilisks own escape attempts caused more damage to it. Finally weakening it sufficiently to the point where the basilisk was forced to pause for breath, she closed the sword and drew it out of the underling. Taking to the air and quickly flipping herself to face the basilisk, she drew her sword upwards, decapitating it in one quick motion.

"Rainbow?" Rarity, having finally untangled herself from the jumble of wool and dead imps, rushed over to where Rainbow was lying unconscious. "Oh dear... she's out cold." Without saying anything, both Rarity and Destiny glanced to the horizon, where the plume of smoke was growing noticeably darker. "We'd better get her moved somewhere safe or that won't be a problem." Again without saying anything, they both glanced to where the two ogres that had been fighting Destiny were standing. Neither ogre looked particularly happy. "And somepony should probably take them out before they start to be a problem."

"Yeah, I hear you. Get Rainbow somewhere safe." For ogres, a different strategy was required. Standing before the two underlings, Destiny activated her sword and split the weapon into its multiple blades. "I'll deal with these guys."

"Very well." Rarity nodded as Destiny got to work, and then set about picking up Rainbow magically. Briefly, Rarity considered her options. The Boutique was close, but she wasn't sure how long it would be safe. That being said, anywhere else on the planet wasn't safe in any sense of the word. "Right then, off we go."

***

[shiningSeraphim (ss) began pestering homelessChicken]

ss: Hey

HC: Oh, hello again!

ss: Milds briefing some poor derse agent

ss: Which is to say that the sky is clear

ss: If anyone sees you then youll be able to hide on the moon before mild finds out about it

HC: Cool, thanks.

HC: I knew we could trust you. <:)

ss: Of course

ss: Anyway id better make myself scarce in case im expected to stop you

ss: Ill talk to you later

HC: OK.

[shiningSeraphim (ss) began pestering homelessChicken]

"Well, Diamond? Anything to say?" Acapella asked, with more than an air of smugness. "I told you that Silver would pull through."

"Hmph. I'll be waiting until after we make it before I thank her, if it's all the same to you." As far as Diamond was concerned, this was the most obvious trap ever. Still, she did feel that maybe Silver didn't quite deserve the mistrust that Diamond felt. Her perception was just a little slanted by the bad blood between them - most of which was as much her fault as it was Silver's. "Let's just get this over with, one way or the other."

And so the two ponies leapt out into space, quickly reaching the chain before travelling along it towards the moon of Derse. Below them, scattered cries of alarm could be heard as the Dersites caught sight of the two dreamers. Some attempted to shoot the two unicorns out of the sky, while others turned and ran back into the palace.

"We'd better hurry. Mild's occupied, but he's going to realise something's going on pretty quickly," Diamond pointed out. Assuming that he doesn't already know, she couldn't help but add in her mind.

"Good point."

Fortunately, even colossal journeys only ever seemed to take as long as a few lines of dialogue, so it was not long before the two dreamers reached the moon. Conveniently, the streets where they landed were completely empty.

"So where are we going? The towers?" Acapella asked. Diamond shook her head.

"No. That would be too obvious, even Mild would think to look there. No, we should just lay low in the city somewhere until after the excitement has died down and he's given up looking. Then we can head on up to the towers." A good plan, all things considered. At least, Diamond thought so.

"Not a bad plan." Mild Darkness commented, as he stepped out of the shadows to greet the two unicorns. "It's a shame that you won't get to try it out. I'm almost tempted to go away and come back to find you later, but..." he grinned, proudly displaying the face which Diamond was incredibly tempted to fling a camera at. "Given how that turned out last time, I think it'd be safer to just kill you."

"I hate to say I told you so..." Diamond began, before Acapella cut her off.

"Shut up."

***

"Let me make one thing abundantly clear," Twilight began, after slotting the final puzzle piece into the groove and unlocking the next stage of the denizen's palace. "I don't mind your help, and I appreciate having some company, but... this is just ridiculous."

"What's ridiculous?" Comet asked, once again making Twilight question whether or not he was faking his ignorance.

"Look, I'll admit that you're good at this game. You've helped me out in fights; you can do all of these puzzles... even if that's mainly because you've already done them. But I'm not prepared to just stand around watching you play through my planet on my behalf." She strode past Comet, into the next chamber. Through a central window, a beam of light shone onto an angled mirror. Around the room were statues supporting other mirrors, and in the very centre of the room a giant metal orb was suspended. Small holes littered its surface at odd positions. "OK, so here we have yet another puzzle. Instead of you just rushing ahead and solving it, how about we actually do this together? Just talk to me about what you're thinking. If we're both working on it then we should solve it faster, right?" She paused. "Right?"

"Unh..." A voice that sounded like Comet let out a vague cry of what was probably pain. Glancing behind her to where she expected to see Comet, Twilight let out a gasp of surprise as she was instead greeted by a Dersite agent standing over her companion holding a bloody knife.

"Oh, um, uh... hello?" Twilight attempted, taking a few steps backwards as Jack Noir approached her with a slow grin forming on his face. He knew a stab connoisseur when he saw one, and this unicorn certainly looked like she had a fine taste in stabs. Furthermore, he had recently come into possession of some quality stabs, which a pony of such refined taste would surely appreciate, and which it was his honour - nay, his duty - to present to her.

Which is to say, he decided to show her his stabs.

***

"So, just where is Pinkie Pie?" Summer had been trying to figure out exactly what had happened to the elusive Bard, but neither Applejack nor any of the others had mentioned her since they had all met up on LOSAF.

"Ah'll be honest, sugarcube, Ah don't rightly know. After Ah got her to her quest bed, she lit up and ascended and whatnot, then disappeared. Comet thought she'd been transported to Skaia, but if that's the case then why hasn't she shown up yet?" Applejack shook her head wearily. "But he saw her, so she must be OK."

A short distance away, a creature made a mental note. The Bard hadn't been found yet. She was a missing detail, and a critical one at that. Even this creature, capable of bringing about the destruction of an entire incipisphere, was unsure how it matched up against the missing God. For all it new, she could even surpass the creatures power.

At least, for now.

***

"Urgh... what..." Shaking her head, Rainbow tried to stand up, which was very easy given how badly hurt she felt. After a few seconds of taking in her surroundings, she came to realise that this was because she was asleep, and had woken up in her dream tower on Derse's moon. "Oh... right." Making her way to the window, Rainbow allowed herself to drift out of the tower and into space. It was about time that she got to doing something on Derse, instead of staying in her tower every time she woke up here. It felt strange to fly without using her wings, but somehow she just didn't feel the need. Instead, she flew around the tower as she descended towards the surface of the moon, taking in the imposing architecture. Most of the detail was lost in the darkness, causing the buildings to appear as solid, looming structures.

"I think it'd be safer to just kill you," came a voice from somewhere nearby. Quickly ducking for cover in a narrow alley below her, Rainbow crept to the edge of the street in an attempt to find the source of the voice.

"I hate to say I told you so..." Diamond began, before Acapella cut her off.

"Shut up." Following the sound of the arguing, Rainbow poked her head out into the street and finally caught sight of the three ponies. Presumably the horned pegasus in the bright green pyjamas was Mild.

"I have to say, you two were slightly more trouble than I'd expected," Mild commented, once again drawing several daggers from his strife deck. "But it doesn't matter. Twilight and Comet will soon be taken care of, then Ember and Fluttershy, and so on. There's basically nothing that you can do to stop it, especially as you were all so very helpful in splitting up into small, easily defeated teams." Diamond stifled the urge to yawn.

"If it's all the same to you, Mild, I'd rather die of being stabbed than of listening to you rant about how much of an asshole you are," Acapella said, and for once Diamond was inclined to agree with her.

"Hmph." If there was one thing that Mild didn't like, it was being told what to do. Which, of course, was precisely why Acapella had done just that. "Fine, since you really want me to."

That was when Rainbow Dash got involved. Using her wings this time, she burst out from her position at the edge of the alley, slamming into Mild at marginally less than the speed of sound. While her attack probably damaged herself more than it hurt Mild, he was still knocked off of his feet by the blow, at which point both Acapella and Diamond instantly grabbed a somewhat dizzy Rainbow and sprinted into the winding streets. As they disappeared into the sea of buildings, Mild picked himself up and sprinted in their direction. After five minutes, however, he quickly came to realise that he had lost them. Pausing in an alley, he sat dejectedly in front of a dumpster as he answered the faint bleeps coming from his laptop.

[shiningSeraphim (ss) began pestering psychoticDeceiver]

ss: Are they dead yet

PD: Would you accept it if I said that they were as good as dead?

ss: ...

ss: Does that mean youre literally about to stab them

ss: Hint: the answer which doesnt make me flip the fuck out is yes

PD: OK, well, lets be honest here.

PD: The situation could have been more strategically weighted in our favour if, say, you had agreed to come along.

ss: Did you monologue

PD: I dont see what that has to-

ss: Did you monologue

PD: ... I guess.

ss: Holy fuck...

ss: Why do i do this to myself

ss: How do i let you do this

ss: If ember has brain damage then what the fuck do you have

PD: Hey, thats a little harsh.

ss: SHUT UP

ss: I

ss: Just

ss: ARGH!

ss: You get back here right the fuck now

ss: And yes i did just give you an order fucking DEAL WITH IT

PD: ...

PD: No one gives me orders.

ss: Get the fuck over yourself

[shiningSeraphim (ss) ceased pestering psychoticDeceiver]

Unsure whether he should be feeling anger or fear, Mild shook his head and stood up, before starting the long flight back to Derse. A few minutes after he had gone, the dumpster lid was thrown open and three dream selves lifted themselves out of it.

"Worst. Villain. Ever." Rainbow noted.

Chapter 18

View Online

A/N: WARNING! DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT THE WEIRD TIME SHIT!

"Blarg..." How long he had been unconscious, Comet had no idea. He also had no idea whether or not he was awake - this could be a dream. There was really no way of telling, that he knew of. After a few moments of checking his surroundings, however, he was quite certain that this was a dream. The twenty Twilight Sparkles told him that much. "... uh."

"Are you OK?" Twenty concerned voices asked.

"There are twenty of you," Comet stated wearily. "Why are there twenty of you." And where, for that matter, was the stab happy Dersite agent? Comet couldn't see any sign of him, and wasn't sure whether or not that was a good thing.

"Oh, well," only one Twilight spoke this time, which was probably for the best. "That Dersite agent was a little harder to deal with than I thought, so it turned out I had to use 20 of myself to take him out." Oh, of course, Comet thought, she's the hero of Time, after all. He could see which Twilight was the most recent in the timeline as she had all of the accumulated wounds of the other nineteen. If the 5th Twilight had a scratch on her leg, then all the subsequent Twilights would also have the same scratch on that leg.

This struck him as a highly irresponsible use of time manipulation, and he wasted no time in saying so. Twenty Twilights shrugged off his concern.

"Calm down. Nothing bad has happened, we dealt with the agent, and you’re still alive by some random chance, what's the problem? Oh, speaking of which..." the most recent Twilight nodded, and the other nineteen travelled back in time to the start of the battle. "See?"

"Whatever, but I won't have any part in such nonsense." Turning his attention back to the room they were in, Comet noticed something. "Wait, this room's different somehow." The main change was that the entire rear wall had slid open to reveal the chamber beyond. He glanced to Twilight for an explanation, to find her smiling smugly.

"Why so surprised? I can solve these puzzles just as well as you can, you know." Trotting past him further into the temple, Twilight called back to him. "Coming?"

***

"I do wish you'd be more careful with them!" Taking the frogs out of Ember's hooves as gently as she could while still being indignant, Fluttershy lowered them onto the large platform that seemed oddly reminiscent of a lily pad. "They're delicate, after all. Not to mention cute."

"Give it a rest already," Ember grumbled. He didn't approve of this planet, or its frogs, or anything to do with being a hero of Space, and Fluttershy's insistence that the frogs were cute was simply making things worse. "Let's just breed the damn frog and get this over with."

"How did you ever manage to make your frog if you treat them like that!?" Fluttershy didn't know what it was, but something about Ember just made her more aggravated than usual. "I suppose you just sat around complaining while the others did it all?"

"Yeah, pretty much." He didn't need this. He didn't need some crazy frog loving pegasus telling him what to do. He didn't need to be ridiculed by the game itself at every hurdle. What he needed at that exact moment was a swarm of underlings and enough space to swing a hammer. "So let's just get this over with."

"Fine." Pushing the button, Fluttershy carefully watched over the strings of letters that began flying across the screen. Exobiology is a touchy thing, and the slightest miscalculation would ruin the entire frog. Ember, meanwhile, decided to annoy somepony else for the time being.

[mushroomAddict began pestering psychoticDeceiver]

MA: hEY mILD

PD: It seems youre still not getting this.

PD: Were enemies now.

MA: sO WHAT iM BORED AND NOPONY ELSE WANTS TO SPEAK TO ME

PD: You say that as if I do want to speak with you. Which I dont.

PD: Please go away.

MA: nAH i THINK iLL STAY RIGHT HERE

PD: Look we cant be talking when were on opposite sides.

PD: Thats just all kinds of wrong.

MA: uH WHATEVER i JUST WANTED TO TALK

MA: aNYTHINGS BETTER THAN THESE FUCKING FROGS

PD: Ah of course youre with Fluttershy arent you.

PD: Tell you what, Ill send some of my friends your way.

MA: wHO

PD: All you need to know is that theyre going to kill you.

MA: iD LIKE TO SEE THEM TRY

PD: Well whatever.

PD: Im going to go kill your friends now.

MA: k

[psychoticDeceiver ceased being pestered by mushroomAddict]

"Are you done yet?" Ember called to Fluttershy, who shot back an angry glare. "I'll take that as a no."

"Not just yet, no," Fluttershy replied, having resumed her position at the appearifier as she collected yet another dozen samples. Samples from frogs that they would then go out and hunt down, so that appearifying them would create paradox slime rather than actual frogs. "Isn't there any way that you can make yourself useful?"

At that point, both ponies were silenced by a sudden roaring from outside the ectobiology lab, which was built atop a large hill overlooking most of the forest. Quickly rushing to the entrance, Ember looked out on this view of LOTAF to be greeted by a horde of rapidly approaching ogres.

"I'm sure I'll think of something to do," he called back to Fluttershy.

***

MA: k

[psychoticDeceiver ceased being pestered by mushroomAddict]

Grumpily storing his laptop away, Mild resolved to look anywhere but at the impressive force of foot soldiers that Silver was currently marching through the streets of Derse's moon. Briefly, he wondered why they all just referred to it as Derse's moon, instead of giving it a proper name, but he supposed that it probably didn't matter. Flying down from his vantage point, he came to stand next to Silver on top of the armoured vehicle they had brought along for some reason.

"Do you really think they won't hear the oncoming army, and move out of the way?" Mild asked, his tone betraying the fact that he really wanted this plan to fail miserably. At least then Silver wouldn't be able to act so high and mighty. "I'm just saying that it doesn't seem to make much sense."

"Neither does the idea to bring you along," Silver replied, although she continued surveying the moon for any sign of the three missing ponies. "So are you going to help, or just complain all day?"

"I'll help, but don't think that the three of us aren't going to have a nice little talk before this is all over." The third pony he was referring to was, of course, far too important to name. Anyway, Silver knew what he meant.

"Naturally. I just hope you're ready for that," Silver said, not without a hint of satisfaction. "In the meantime, can we focus on fixing everything you screwed up?"

"Sure." It was just as well that he had already sent agents to LOTAF, Mild reflected. He would need all his concentration to keep Silver in check.

***

Combat was the only sense in which the Prince respected and understood his aspect. Warping space itself to crush his enemies into singularities was a little beyond his reach, but he could still manage a sphere about the size of a marble. And he still had his warhammer, after all. His only concern was that he was about to run out of enemies, having cleaved through a few dozen ogres already.

The vague sense of satisfaction which he was granted after finishing off the last underling was dispelled as a faint cry came from back within the ectobiology lab, and Ember remembered that he had left Fluttershy on her own. She was hardly the most competent fighter, in that she refused to actually fight anything as a matter of principle - whatever that was. Either way, if she was in danger then she almost certainly needed his help, so he rushed back into the building. There, confronting Fluttershy and the assembled frogs, stood a group of 10 Dersite agents. These were elite soldiers, the best of the best. They had been trained for years to hate frogs with all their being, to stab in a way so precise as to be considered an art form. They were tough, they were ready, and they were here to fuck as much shit up in as little time as possible. Sadly, they had not prepared for an Ember Glow that had been deprived of any real challenge for several hours.

What followed was entirely too graphic for this story, even with some of the things that occasionally slip past the censors. Not that there are any. Suffice it to say that expletives were yelled, frogs were saved, heads were rolled, hammers were swung, agents were killed, warps in the fabric of space were created, internal organs were shredded, limbs were -

Wait. This is starting to defeat the point of skimming over the details. Let's just accept that the pain exchange was massive, and entirely in Ember's favour, and all things considered it wasn't very nice to watch.

But, eventually, it was over. For a few moments, Fluttershy sat in shock, a pile of frogs peeking out from behind her, while Ember shook himself and sat down to rest. Then Fluttershy somehow found the strength to talk.

"Um..." Rather, she found the strength to make noises of some description. Stringing words together was still a little beyond her reach. "I..."

"... had better get on with the frog thing," Ember finished. "And then we can get outside and do something exciting for once."

As she nodded and got back to work, Fluttershy silently wished that she never, ever, ever found out what Ember considered 'exciting'.

***

"So here you are at last, Mage." In contrast to the cool surface of LONAG, the centre of Hephaestus' palace was boiling hot from the roaring fires which were surrounding the denizen's throne. The denizen himself was a huge humanoid figure that burned with all the heat and intensity of the other fires.

"Hephaestus," Twilight called out to the denizen, fully prepared to launch into battle at a moment's notice. From what Comet had explained, they were about to be in for quite the fight. "I'm here to make you answer for what has happened to my planet." Even as she spoke, however, Twilight noticed that the fires which were supposedly extinguished were burning hot. This was curious.

"Oh? The planet above is just as it has always been, Mage. The plants are growing, the people are happy. I am heating this planet just as I have always done."

"What? No, the people are dying! The plants are dying, the surface is freezing, this... this doesn't make any sense!" Desperately, Twilight turned to Comet. "What's going on?"

"I wonder..." Comet quickly took his laptop out of his sylladex.

[fractalAbomination began pestering psychoticDeceiver]

FA: hey mild

PD: What?

FA: where are you, we've been looking all over

PD: Im still on LOSAC, where did you think I was.

FA: oh, right

FA: out of interest, do you know if acapella's gotten in yet?

PD: No she hasnt.

FA: right, kk

FA: ttyl

PD: Sure.

[fractalAbomination ceased pestering psychoticDeceiver]

"Like I thought," Comet said. "We're in the past. This is before Acapella entered my session, meaning that you lot probably haven't even heard of this game yet."

"Wait, so that means..." Twilight paused, confused. "What does it mean?"

"Not sure yet. Anyway, Hephaestus," Comet continued, addressing the denizen. "I don't suppose you could see your way around to releasing the hoard?"

"All in due time, Page. I will give you the hoard, but first... but first you must answer my riddle." Although it was impossible to make out the denizen's face, Comet could tell from the voice that it was grinning widely. He rolled his eyes.

"Here we go again," he said to Twilight.

Red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry, rellery yellery, red yellory?

A few moments of silence passed, in which Comet tried desperately to not burst into laughter.

"... What!?" Twilight asked, a little perplexed by what Hephaestus had just said. "That's not a riddle!"

"Tell me about it," Comet said, as he had been given the exact same riddle. "It's a tongue twister."

"I'm going to have to press you for an answer, Mage," Hephaestus said, reminding the two ponies of his presence. "Red lorry or yellow lorry?"

"But... uh... I-" Twilight began, before Comet cut her off.

"Don't worry; I know this from when I got it wrong before. It's yellow lorry," he called out to the denizen. "Yellow lorry." For a few seconds, Hephaestus considered the response.

"No, I'm afraid that's wrong."

"What? But last time-"

"What happened in some other parallel Universe doesn't concern me. You got the riddle wrong, so prepare yourselves!" So saying, the denizen stood up from his throne and equipped his warhammer menacingly.

"Wait!" Twilight called out, holding back Comet who was about to leap towards Hephaestus. "You're my denizen, so I'm the one who answers the riddle, and I think the answer is red lorry." Another few moments passed.

"... are you sure you don't think it's something else?" Hephaestus offered hopefully, only for Twilight to shake her head. "Oh. Well, fine. Take your hoard and leave me." With that, he stormed out of the chamber rather dejectedly, leaving Comet and Twilight to continue to the room behind his throne.

"That was stupid, and shouldn't have worked," Comet said, as they entered the new chamber. "But well done, for what it's worth. Also, wow." That last sentence was in reference to the area they found themselves in. It was a huge cylinder, with a huge mound of grist in the centre. Around the edge of the room, many complex machines could be seen, performing some kind of task or another. "If I'm right about how huge this grist hoard is supposed to be, that pile of goodies will go down for a fair distance. Even so... that's a lot of grist." Something about what he said triggered something in Twilight's mind.

"Oh, that's right; I can make that item now! The one you gave me, remember?" Twilight had forgotten all about her previous failed attempt to create the item, partly due to her mild concussion. But now it all came back to her. But not, it seemed, to Comet.

"I gave you the what now?" Comet asked, only half listening as he inspected the machines. The one he was standing by showed an image of the entire Land of Night and Glow from somewhere in the Medium. Sure enough, it seemed bright and cheerful on the outside, just as Hephaestus had said. "Hrm... I wonder."

"You gave me the code ages ago, back when I had only just entered. You know, PH04?D6E," Twilight said in an attempt to jog his memory. He seemed to have no idea what she was talking about. "OK, never mind."

"I'm sure I'll figure it out if it's important. Anyway, you go off and make your special item if you want. I have a theory I want to try out." With that, he ran off to a connecting chamber, while Twilight was left to use the alchemy devices which were scattered around the central grist mound.

After a few minutes of searching, Comet finally found what he was looking for. A stone tablet, probably broken or otherwise rendered unreadable on the surface, written by the consorts living above him at that exact moment.

According to the elders, our ancestors will soon be returning the Mage to us so that her task can be completed. A cause for celebration, surely. And yet not so, for her success on our world is a mere illusion in the face of the ages that cannot be undone. At least, that's what the elders say. I sometimes wish they wouldn't insist on such a convoluted, winding manner of speech. Wouldn't it be easier to just speak plainly? "It's not a time for celebrating because she hasn't actually saved anything." There, how hard was that? Bloody ancient wisdom, it does my head in.

Somewhat intrigued by the change in tone, Comet flipped the tablet over.

The boss caught me sleeping on the job again the other day, which isn't so wonderful. She said that if it happened again then she'd fire me. I said that I'd tell Dad, but then she just goes off on a rant about business standards like always. I mean, I get that I have to treat her professionally in the workplace and all, but she IS my sister, you'd think that she would cut me some slack. Ah, stone slab, sometimes I feel that you are the only one who understands me.

Beneath this was a crude drawing, presumably of the writer's sister, with the label "BLUH BLUH HUGE BITCH", as well as a brief note explaining that it was really hard to draw on a stone slab. This was interesting... kind of.

So his theory was correct, as confirmed by this frustrated scribe. In the present, as far as the consorts living on the surface of LONAG when Twilight had arrived were concerned, Hephaestus was dead. It seemed that as they had progressed further into the planet, the rate at which time passed had slowed. The combined effect of this over a long period of time was, apparently, that while Hephaestus was dead relative to the surface, he was very much alive and kicking by the time they reached the centre of the planet. Which meant that, technically, they would 'win' if he simply found the spell or time warp or whatever it was, and strengthened it so that the 'safe time zone' when Hephaestus was still alive covered the entire planet.

This probably would have sounded more like a plot hole than a genuine solution to anypony who wasn't a hero of Time, so it was a good thing that Comet was so qualified to fix the planet.

***

"Look out!" As warnings are wont to do, Fluttershy's cry of alarm came a few seconds too late, as Ember was caught off guard by the basilisk that leapt out of the trees and into him from the side, knocking him off of the cliff face which they happened to be walking along. "Ember!" Quickly leaping into the air, Fluttershy dived towards the falling earth pony as he attempted to battle with the basilisk in mid-air. All things considered, he was doing an excellent job.

"Take... this..." Ember grunted, kicking himself away from the basilisk as the two opponents continued to fall. "You... little..." Equipping his warhammer yet again, Ember gripped the weapon between two hooves. "BITCH!" Swinging the weapon over his head, and feeling the impact against the basilisk, Ember allowed himself a moment of grim satisfaction - which is the only kind of satisfaction worth a damn. He then turned his attention to his next opponent, gravity. Or at least, he would have done, except that at that moment Fluttershy reached him and grabbed onto his hooves, managing to drag him to a stop before hauling him back upwards until the two of them once again reached the edge of the cliff.

For a minute, both of them sat in silence. Fluttershy, because of complete exhaustion. Ember, because he was attempting to figure out exactly what had just happened, and why.

"Are you... OK?" Fluttershy asked. Ember nodded, and she smiled. "Good... would be a shame if anything... had happened." Ember nodded again, thinking for a few moments before replying.

"You, uh..." He tried to think of a way of putting it gently. "You do realise that I'm a dreamer, right? I can fly." Another few minutes of silence passed.

"...oh," Fluttershy managed. "Uh. Sorry."

"Why? You were just trying to help, after all..." Getting to his feet, Ember picked up one of the frogs that Fluttershy had scattered when she had leapt into the air. "I'm.. sorry, for being impatient. Friends?" He offered, extending a leg towards the pegasus, frog in hoof.

Taking the frog from him, Fluttershy smiled again and nodded.

"Friends." It was a nice sentiment, and Fluttershy appreciated that he had apologised, but she was exhausted. At that point, all she really wanted was to just...

Just kind of...

Sleep.

***

The Land of Night and Glow in full bloom was an impressive sight. The combined light from the impressive forests which covered the planet did a fair job of lighting up the space beneath the impenetrable dark clouds. The consorts were happy and loud, in vast contrast to the hushed whispers of a population living in fear. Even if it was only an image of the past, that didn't exist outside of the protective spell, Comet still felt a sense of achievement.

"So we did it..." Twilight said, a confused expression crossing her face. "But... what did we change?" As far as Twilight was aware, they had simply returned to the surface after having collected the grist hoard. Comet hadn't yet told her about the spell, and had been sure to alter it so that Twilight's home would be unaffected. Because of course, when Hephaestus was still alive Twilight had yet to arrive on LONAG.

"I don't know, but don't complain," Comet said, which would have been a fair statement if he hadn't been lying. "Anyway, that's the planet taken care of. Next stop, Skaia." From this side of the time spell, it wasn't possible to see any transition between Twilight's house and the rest of the planet, but now they were right on the edge of the safe zone. After they stepped forwards, the time compression would unfold very quickly, which should mean...

"Oh Celestia," Twilight managed, as the two ponies stepped into the cylinder around Twilight's home where time was not being held back. From this side of the compression they could see the planet as it truly was - a barren, dying wasteland. "What is this?"

"Ah, I figured I'd need to mention this." Comet paused, trying to figure out what the best way of explaining the situation would be. "Hephaestus, relative to us in the present right now, is dead. As we journeyed lower into the planet, we passed through stages of a time compression field in which time passes slower - the net effect of this is that at the centre, Hephaestus is still alive. While we were down there, I extended the safe zone in which he's still alive, and adapted the field so that the only spot on the planet which is in real time is here, around your house. From here... from here we can see the planet as it truly is, and as it has been for years."

Taking a step back away from her house, Twilight saw that he was telling the truth - the planet reformed around her, and once again she was in the world of happiness and prosperity. The Land of Night and Glow, in the past. Once more she stepped into the present, observing the view of the planet changing rapidly as she passed out of the compression, until she reached the view of complete desolation that was the current state of the planet.

"So, we lost?"

"No. We won, to the best degree that we could have possibly won. Now that the entire population is in sync with Hephaestus, which is the best outcome that could be achieved with the situation we were given." Nodding towards the top of her home, Comet attempted to bring the focus back onto how they were going to not fail miserably. "Now then. Skaia?"

"OK, sure." It was a little depressing, and more than a little confusing, but Twilight supposed that in the end it didn't matter. The whole of LONAG was simply a means to an end, after all.

And again, she was a little disgusted with herself a little for thinking about it like that.

***

Somewhere on the Land of Secrets and Lies, the woods echoed with the sound of gunfire as Summer shot a group of four imps dead in the space of ten seconds. Angrily reloading her rifle, she then continued forwards in a determined manner.

"Are ya feeling OK, sugarcube?" Applejack asked, a little concerned as she noticed Summer's angry expression.

"No. I've just had the most horrible feeling that me and you are being left out of the loop."

"Whatever gave ya that idea? They'd let us know if anything was happening."

"Well, I don't care. We don't need those guys anyway, we're doing fine just like this." Summer paused. "Aren't we?"

"Yeah, for now. Just don't get too cocky," Applejack pointed out. "Your confidence is your weakness."

"Your faith in your friends is yours," Summer replied. "But yeah, this isn't so bad. I suppose it could be worse."

***

Destiny's ear twitched for seemingly no reason. Sitting upright, she called over to Rarity.

"Hey, did you just get a weird feeling like somepony didn't specifically mention you in a conversation, but was clearly talking about you anyway?" Rarity thought for a moment.

"No, can't say I did."

"Oh, OK..." Destiny shrugged, then returned to her comfortable position on the pile of pillows that she had constructed. "Me neither."

***

"Personally, I don't think that they're hiding in there," Mild commented. "I mean seriously, the dream towers? That's a little too obvious, don't you think?"

"Let me put it this way," Silver said, trying to keep her voice under control. "If they're in there, then we win. If they're not in there, the worst that can happen is that team Nublet loses a few dream selves. This is also a win for us. So light it up already."

"As you command, o most glorious and perfect one," Mild retorted, his words like those of a motivational speaker addressing a group of adolescents, where the speaker's humour represents Mild's lack of sarcasm.

"Oh, knock it off, you don't have to use my full title every time you talk to me," Silver said. It can probably be safely assumed that there was a certain amount of sarcasm in her comment as well. Maybe even some irony - who knows?

Putting aside all forms of wit, low or otherwise, Mild finally began the task at hand, the task at hand being the destruction of the three dream towers, taking off into the sky. Although he could now do his Mindy thing, and had all of his other powers, it was worth remembering that now Mild was a unicorn, and was capable of the regular magic that any other unicorn could perform. And, as previously mentioned, Mild had a certain affinity for magic, which is partly what allowed him to do what he did next.

From his current position, Mild was aligned so that he could trace a straight line through all three towers. Closing his eyes, and focusing his magic, Mild bound himself in several layers of solid magical energy. Then, once he was convinced that his protective barrier was strong enough, he opened his wings and shot forwards, blasting clean through Rainbow's dream tower. Continuing onwards, he shot through Rarity's dream tower - by this point, Rainbow's had almost completed its descent to the moon below. Instead of destroying the support of the third dream tower, however, Mild dodged around it and banked upwards, twisting so that he was level with the room containing Fluttershy's dream self. Focusing his remaining barrier into one huge ball of energy, he fired it at the tower, completely destroying the room and any dream self-contained within.

Below Fluttershy's dream tower stood Rainbow, hiding in a dark alley along with Diamond, Acapella, and Fluttershy's newly awakened dream self.

"What do you think of him now, Rainbow?" Acapella asked, in reference to the exploding dream tower that Fluttershy had only escaped minutes earlier.

"Meh. Getting closer, but he's still pretty bad," was Rainbow's reply.

***

In Twilight's session, the Reckoning had yet to begin. The White King was still fighting, and there was still at least a day left before the Reckoning would begin to be a problem. Or at least, that was what should have happened.

Unfortunately for the White King - and, by extension, the players themselves - a certain creature had other ideas. A certain creature that had been lurking around the incipisphere for quite some time, gathering knowledge and watching the movements of the players. A creature with a past more convoluted, and a future more ominous, than basically all of the other characters in the story combined. A creature that had already brought about the death of one incipisphere, and that was more than ready to strike another two off of its list.

"Hm. Interesting," Comet noted, as he and Twilight appeared on the Battlefield. "By the time I reached my Battlefield, the White King was already dead. But right now the war's still going on in full force." He pointed out a few areas of the planet, emphasising where the White King was fighting off hordes of Dersite soldiers. "Obviously your King is pretty potent, given your prototyping, but even so we should try and help him last as long as possible. Which means kill any and all Dersites you happen to see."

"Uh, Comet?" While Comet had been planning out their next move, Twilight had caught sight of a tiny blob in the distance behind them. As they watched, the blob drew nearer, its features becoming easier to make out. This was a shame, all things considered. "Oh... oh no."

Whatever it was, it was clearly a very surprising revelation.

Chapter 19

View Online

[CURRENT homelessChicken began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

CHC: Hello, to every and anypony who reads this!

CHC: Except for Mild and Silver, they're not allowed to read it because it's top secret.

CHC: Even though they have full access to this memo because for some reason banning ponies doesn't work.

CHC: I'm just going to hope that the backstabbing traitors have enough honour to avoid reading all of our plans.

[CURRENT desertedDestiny began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

CDD: There are no words to describe how much I want to hurt you.

CHC: <:D

CDD: I assume you have some kind of plan, then?

CHC: Well, not exactly. What I do have is a situation that could become a plan.

CHC: Me, Diamond, Rainbow, and Fluttershy are all camped out SOMEWHERE on EITHER Derse or Derse's moon.

CHC: We're in the perfect place for a surprise attack!

CDD: Please don't do anything stupid.

CHC: Well obviously I won't. Diamond won't let me.

CDD: Good.

CDD: Also, can you give Rainbow back already? Me and Rarity need to move out soon.

CHC: But we need her for our surprise attack...

CDD: Which hasn't been planned, and that you'll probably need more people for anyway. So hand her over.

[CURRENT prismaticAscension began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

CPA: Do I get a say in this?

CDD: Yes. You can either stay talking to Acapella for a few hours, or you can come back to LOSAF and get some payback.

CHC: <:\

CPA: Well, we'll see.

CPA: I don't feel all that tired, though.

CDD: :/

CDD: Whatever, it's not like we'll be going anywhere in the meantime.

CDD: I'll see you all later.

CHC: OK.

[CURRENT desertedDestiny stopped responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

***

After several hours of adventuring, Applejack had taken some time to appraise her traveling companion. She had long abandoned any attempt to understand what Summer was trying to achieve - all she knew was that a lot of underlings were going to be killed because of it. Apparently growing bored of the quests on the Land of Secrets and Lies, Summer was becoming notably more efficient and aggressive with her game. The last three groups of underlings had barely taken a full clip of her rifle. Not that her rifle was in any danger of running out of bullets, as it appeared to use some kind of esoteric gaming abstraction as ammunition, which was awarded to the pegasus based on her victories in combat. Of which there were many.

Putting her progressively more ruthless gameplay to one side, however, it was worrying to see a friend descend from relatively calm and amicable to completely focused and more than a little frustrated.

"So you're definitely OK?" Applejack asked, once again trying to break the silent walking which filled the gaps between fights.

"Yes," Summer replied, once again trying to resume the silent walking which filled the gaps between fights.

"Well, that's what ya say, that doesn't mean Ah have to believe it." Whether or not Summer wanted to talk, Applejack reasoned, there was no sense in making an issue out of it. "So anyway. Where are we going now?"

"To your denizen, I suppose. Unless you wanted to carry on with these repetitive side quests so that we can help a few more consorts with their problems." The effects of the whole paranoia thing which the planet had clearly been intended to cultivate were lost when the fighting was so ridiculously high risk. Having rushed through the last few quests on nothing but adrenaline and a vague sense of achievement, the fairly linear layout of the objectives was made all the clearer. Personally, Summer was getting bored of it. "Also, please don't say you want to carry on with these repetitive side quests."

"Well alright then, when ya put it like that Ah suppose we can deal with my denizen. Which way?" Contemplating the question, Summer quickly leapt up into the air, surveying the land around them. They were near the latest quest hub, a large manor surrounded on all sides by dense forest. Besides that, and a few large mountain ranges to the south, the surrounding area was entirely devoid of any major landmarks.

"No idea," she said as she returned to Applejack. "Our best move would be to head back to the barn, but I don't have any idea where to find a return node. So I say we head back to that manor and try to get some answers from there." Applejack considered the idea, then nodded.

"OK then, let's do that."

***

"Ugh, ow. Argh." Uttering vague noises which almost resembled cries of pain, Rainbow shook her head as she slowly rose to her feet. "Stuff. Blarg. Mornings are bad, I'm allergic to mornings. Urgh." Even as she said it, she corrected herself - it wasn't morning. She hadn't fallen asleep, she had been knocked out. "I mean, pain. Ow. I'm allergic to pain, it gives me bruises. Agh."

"Rainbow?" Rarity's head appeared from the entrance of whatever room Rainbow was in, a concerned expression on the unicorns face. "Are you awake now?"

"No, please try again later," Rainbow said, as she walked out into the main room of Carousel Boutique, attempting to wake herself up. "Anyway. When are we going?"

"Right now, if you're ready," Rarity said. She was relieved that Rainbow was finally awake. There had been far too much sitting around, and there was an awful lot of adventuring still to be done. "I'm not sure where Destiny has gotten to..." Rarity glanced around the room, as if Destiny might be standing right next to her without her noticing. "Oh, that's right, she was heading out to make sure we had a path away from the boutique when you decided to wake up, so we should get going."

"You just let her go out by herself? What if she's in trouble!?"

"Oh come now, Rainbow. If she was in trouble, then it's not likely we'd be able to do much about it at this stage. And besides..." Opening the front door of the shop and stepping out, Rarity couldn't help but smile as Rainbow's jaw fell open. Before them, Destiny was calmly slipping in between ogres as they attempted to crush her beneath them, ducking underneath basilisks, and stabbing any imps which got too close. Exercising the other side of her powers, Destiny was taking on huge numbers of underlings - by making them angry and uncoordinated, allowing her to weave in between their attacks. "... I don't think that we need to worry about Destiny getting into trouble any time soon."

"Yeah, whatever. Less talk, more getting things done." Equipping her lance from her strife deck, Rainbow threw herself into the air, before quickly spinning and dashing straight towards the nearest ogre. Dodging the colossal arm it sent flailing towards her, she drove into its shoulder, her lance somehow managing to puncture the thick carapace that one of its many prototypings had provided. Screaming in pain, the ogre swung its other arm, which Rainbow narrowly avoided as she barely managed to retrieve her lance from the ogre's shoulder.

Rolling her eyes a little, Rarity decided to join the fight, sending a few dozen needles speeding straight through the ogre's neck. Experience had taught her and Destiny that the neck was relatively unprotected, and on an ogre it was quite a large target. Delivering a few more blows in rapid succession, the ogre eventually attempted to turn and flee from the battle. Apparently one of the benefits that its prototyping gave it was a basic ability to recognise a losing battle. Unfortunately for the underling, by this point Destiny had noticed what the others were doing. Flinging herself into the air, towards the underling, she arced sharply through the air as an ogre head was thrown over the rest of the fighting underlings before exploding into a mound of grist.

The three ponies paused briefly to regroup, taking in the assembled hordes of enemies. Mostly imps, with an abundance of basilisks and ogres. A few liches could also be seen towering above the rest.

"Hey Rainbow. Good to see you're awake now," Destiny said, as the two factions stood opposite each other in a brief moment of calm.

"Thanks," Rainbow replied. "Let's see if I can make it past the first three basilisks this time, shall we?"

***

"Back already, hero? Have you found the information yet?" If the crocodile quest giver had a name, Summer had either forgotten it or neglected to give enough of a shit to ask in the first place.

"No, we haven't. You can consider this a resignation," Summer said bluntly, before stepping around her to continue further into the manor in search of someone who could tell them where to go, leaving Applejack to deal with a rather shocked looking crocodile.

"What? But..." Looking pleadingly at Applejack, the crocodile once again tried to make its case. "Please, you have to help me! You're the hero right, that's what you do? Help people?" Applejack paused awkwardly. She knew that once they found out how to find her denizen, any other missions that they had been tasked with would be pushed to one side - or, more likely, they would simply be forgotten about altogether. She didn't want to give this consort false hope. At the same time, she didn't want to turn her back on it either.

"Well, uh..." One side effect of spending the past few hours with Summer, Applejack noted, was that she found herself adopting a much more jaded view of her planet as a game construct. She was thinking of her tasks as ways of gaining boondollars and rungs, rather than as favours for the population. But when it came to telling the population that, somehow it felt wrong. "Ah..."

"Hey AJ, I know where there's a gate back to your barn. Let's go," Summer called, returning from a very speedy discussion with a terrified crocodile. Applejack suspected that the discussion had probably been more about rifles than about directions. As Summer passed Applejack, though, she paused as she noticed Applejack's hesitation. "What's wrong?"

"Uh, well, Ah was just explaining to, uh." Summer glanced at Applejack quizzically, then at the crocodile who was watching them with a cynical expression, then back to Applejack. "Ah just don't want to let these people down," Applejack explained.

"Applejack. That's very nice of you and everything," Summer began, as she rested a hoof on Applejack's shoulder and began leading her out of the manor and away from the protesting crocodile. "But there comes a time when you have to stop and realise that you just can't help everyone." She paused. "And also that they're crocodiles, for crying out loud."

***

"That could have gone better, all things considered," Silver said, as she and Mild returned to the throne room on Derse. "Still, this is the only place left on Derse or its moon that is of any interest to them. They'll come here, soon enough."

"Perhaps." Despite all of Mild's attempts to cast doubt over Silver's plans using the smallest excuses, there was a flaw that seemed obvious to him. "Or they could just start flying while we're not looking, and get back to the rest of their group without either of us noticing."

"Yeah, they could. But they won't. You saw the memo, they're waiting around in case we let our guard down." While Silver knew that she was, all things considered, in a better standing than Mild's repeated failures, she wasn't about to get ahead of herself. That was the difference between Mild and her, after all. She waited for her moment. She didn't make mistakes. "I say we just hold the fort here until everything is in place."

"Am I the only one who isn't entirely comfortable with the fact that neither of us are having any impact over the important parts of our plan?" Mild asked, betraying the uncertainty he felt over this particular topic. "Before, it was different. We were needed then. Now, we just sit back and watch as everything falls into place. We've become obsolete."

"Speak for yourself," Silver said, awarding her a scowl from Mild and a faint noise resembling amusement from the watching queen. "If you're trying to get me to join you in mutiny or something, then forget it. I intend to keep this group together, but if you start thinking like that then maybe it would be better for everypony if you weren't in the group. Three's a crowd, you know."

"Was that a threat?" Silver rolled her eyes at the question. She really didn't know if he was being dense or cliché, and frankly her reaction was the same for both possibilities.

"Yes, it was a threat. The purpose of threats is to stop ponies from doing really stupid things that they'll regret. If you don't like it, then why don't you try thinking things through for once in your life, instead of saying the first thing which comes into your head?" Reacting ridiculously quickly, Silver was barely able to equip her axe in time to defend herself against the knife which came slashing down towards her. "What the fuck!?"

Blocking a few more knife swings, Silver changed her tactics, quickly using her magic to seize a shield from the hands of a watching guard, and flinging it towards Mild. As he focused his own magic on stopping it, she attacked with her axe, knocking the knife across the room and out of his influence. For a few moments, the two supposed allies stood staring at each other, both of them wearing expressions of anger and mistrust.

"Sort your shit out, Mild," Silver eventually said, turning her back on the furious God and walking smugly out of the throne room. "Before somepony has to sort it for you."

***

"I don't believe it," Summer said. "Why is it still here if I don't believe in it. It should stop existing. Why is it still here?" The subject of her frustration didn't reply, mainly because it was a locked door. It was, to be precise, the fourth locked door which had been presented to the two ponies since they had begun exploring the denizen’s palace. The previous three had eventually been overcome through a combination of mazes, puzzle solving, brute force, and blind guesswork. It had gotten very old very quickly, and Summer did not relish the chance to do it all over again. "I wouldn't mind this so much if there was some indication that we were making any kind of progress."

"Well, the underlings have been attacking thicker and faster," Applejack pointed out. "Besides, this isn't so bad. Ah'd say we've only got a little further before we're done." This complete guess seemed to give Summer a little hope.

"Really?" Inspecting the door thoughtfully, Summer smiled to herself. "Well then, we'd better get right onto the next hour of boring, repetitive puzzles..." An instant later, somehow, she had equipped her rifle.

A few minutes and one ingeniously named fraymotif later, the door had graciously agreed to stop existing. At least, Summer assumed that it was OK with not existing any more, and it would be hard to prove otherwise. Surprisingly, what greeted them on the other side was not another locked door. Instead, they were greeted by a vast open chamber, swarming with underlings.

"I liked that door," Summer commented. "It was a good door."

"Ya can mourn it later." Readying their weapons, the two ponies leapt forwards into the horde of oncoming underlings. Applejack rushed ahead, carving imps out of the way in huge sweeping arcs, while Summer held back and killed off the more resilient enemies that weren't killed by the scythe. Continuing in this way, the two heroes quickly made short work of the room, until only they were left amidst a sea of bodies.

"Huh. That was oddly easy." Summer stepped cautiously over one of the imps, glancing around to see what she had missed. "Seriously, there are hundreds of these things, and we just wiped the floor with them. Is that really the best this planet has to offer?"

"Wait," Applejack said, as she suddenly realised what was wrong. "Look at all the bodies, Summer."

"Yeah, what?" Summer glanced briefly down at some of the nearby bodies, checking to see if she had missed something. Nothing seemed out of place.

"Why haven't they turned into grist?" At those words, the imps immediately surrounding them leapt up to their feet. "Oh."

"For fuck's sake, LOSAL," Summer complained, suddenly finding herself fending off a few dozen of the angry underlings she had already killed once before. "It was a rhetorical question, not a challenge."

***

Picking himself up out of a small pile of cushions that somepony had apparently attempted to craft a bed out of, and making a futile attempt to clear his head of the loud ringing sound, Spike wearily got to his feet and inspected his surroundings. What had happened here? The entire front side of Sugarcube Corner was in pieces, most of which were scattered around him. He vaguely remembered something about an underling, and some kind of explosion, and a large book.

Whatever that had been about, all Spike knew at that moment was that he was apparently on his own. There was no sign of Twilight, or any underlings, or anything. That was odd. Presumably Twilight was alright - he doubted that the underling would have killed her and then made sure he was sleeping comfortably. Even so, it did seem odd that she would just leave him here.

But then again, who was he trying to convince? Spike had realised quite early on into this whole adventure that he wasn't cut out for Sburb. The extended periods of walking and/or fire-breathing were taking their toll, and even after several hours of relatively comfortable sleep he felt exhausted. And the back of his throat was still sore from the constant bursts of fire he had been providing for Twilight. Maybe Twilight had found some other method of carrying things around, and had decided to give him a rest that she knew he needed.

That didn't make him feel much better, of course. Twilight shouldn't have to go out of her way to suit his inability to cope with the job at hand. It made him frustrated with himself that he was unable to help her as much as he should have been able to, but at the same time there wasn't a lot he could do about it. He was a baby dragon, after all.

***

[mushroomAddict began pestering reticentButterfly]

MA: hEY

RB: Oh, hey Ember.

RB: What is it?

MA: aRE YOU COMING BACK ANY TIME SOON

MA: bECAUSE YOURE JUST SLEEPING IN THE MIDDLE OF A PRETTY EXPOSED CLIFF FACE

MA: aND THERES A LOT OF ANGRY STUFF LIVING HERE

MA: wELL

MA: tHERES A LOT OF ANGRY STUFF THAT LIVED HERE

MA: wERE CURRENTLY EXPLORING NEW RELOCATION OPTIONS

MA: mOST OF WHICH INVOLVE ME TURNING THEM INTO GRIST TO PREVENT OVERCROWDING

RB: I... see.

RB: Maybe I should get back soon, if only to stop you from killing everything.

MA: wELL i CAN AGREE WITH YOU THERE

MA: tHIS IS GETTING TIRING

RB: Well, I'll try and hurry, but we're all very busy over here!

RB: Escaping exploding buildings, hiding from soldiers...

RB: It might not be safe to leave my dream self out here.

MA: wELL THE OTHERS WILL LOOK AFTER IT WONT THEY

RB: I suppose.

RB: Listen, Ember...

RB: I've been thinking.

RB: Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the help you're giving me, like keeping all the underlings away while I'm on Derse, and helping me round up all the frogs.

RB: But, um...

MA: wAIT IS THIS ABOUT WHAT i THINK ITS ABOUT

RB: Uh... maybe? What do you think it's about?

MA: uH

MA: hOLD ON i NEED TO TAKE CARE OF A FEW THINGS

RB: Oh, OK.

RB: I'll, uh, talk to you later then?

MA: k

[mushroomAddict ceased pestering reticentButterfly]

***

Eventually, the seemingly ceaseless waves of underlings had slowed, until finally Destiny and Rarity were allowed a moments rest while Rainbow flew ahead to plan their next move.

"So, how are we for time?" Rarity asked, only vaguely aware of the way a standard Sburb session was supposed to be set out. Beyond the fact that they had to deal with a denizen somewhere on the planet, and that there was going to be a Reckoning at some point, nopony had bothered to explain much about the game to her. Not that she need them to, of course.

"Depends on how long it takes Derse to defeat the White King. After that, the Black King can start the Reckoning. In theory, it could happen in a few seconds. I'd probably give it a good while yet, though. It could be anywhere between a full day and, I don't know, six hours?" Destiny, on the other hand, had been paying quite a bit of attention to how things had worked in her session. There hadn't been a lot else to do, when she was as good at the game as she was - and her enemies had been at a reasonable level of difficulty.

"I take it there's a reason why the Black King has to wait until the White King is dead before starting the Reckoning?" Destiny nodded.

"Both the kings have sceptres, which are powerful artifacts that give the kings the powers of the prototypings Sburb gives them. Each sceptre can control the Reckoning. The Black King could start the Reckoning at any time, of course, but the White King could just stop it again immediately afterwards. And besides, there are procedures involved with that kind of thing. It's all very honourable and by the book." She shrugged. "I guess the Prospitans agree to it all because they're very honourable anyway. And I suppose that the Dersites are fine with it because they know that they're going to win one way or the other."

"I wonder about that. Why would they fight so hard, for so long, and lose so many lives, when they know they're going to lose anyway? How can they do that?"

"Because it's not their job to save Skaia, Rarity. It's your job. Well, all of our jobs. They fight so that we have time to prepare, to buy us time. They're fighting because they know that we can win." A brief silence passed as Rarity contemplated her speech.

"If you don't mind me asking, how much of that did you not steal word for word from one of those stone tablets that the consorts leave lying around?"

"Absolutely none of it."

***

[suspiciousSerpent (SS) began pestering shiningSeraphim (ss)]

SS: hey.

ss: Uh

ss: No offense diamond but im pretty sure that the jigs up as far as pretending to be on your side goes

ss: You do realise that right

SS: yeah, and I kind of hate you for that.

SS: but whatever. I wanted to talk.

ss: Why

ss: Is this some crazy attempt to guilt trip me or something

SS: no. this is some crazy attempt to not go insane and kill acapella.

ss: Heheheh

ss: Dont you have fluttershy and rainbow to talk to

SS: well, Rainbow's gone back to sleep. from my perspective.

SS: Fluttershy's cool though, so I guess it isn't all bad.

SS: but I suppose I did want to guilt trip you a little bit.

SS: I just want to know why you're stabbing us in the back like this.

ss: Do you think that knowing why will change anything

SS: maybe. maybe I just want to know that there is a good reason for all of this.

SS: or maybe I just want to know that whatever it is, it's not my fault.

ss: I dont know why you would think that it has anything to do with you

SS: I guess you're right. it's not like there's any history between the two of us.

SS: I'm implying that there is history between us, just so that we understand each other here.

ss: Well think about it

ss: We dont have any history

ss: Weve never actually met

SS: true, I guess. but still.

ss: What

ss: You destroyed a couple of cameras left lying around by a mystery mare who appeared to shadow your entire life and whose very existence was based purely off of your own assumptions and the accusations of a few online friends who never really understood what was going on

ss: And lets be honest both of us just thought that the other was just a figment of our imagination

ss: Like we had mpd or something

ss: Thats definitely a solid basis for claiming to have history with somepony

ss: If you hadnt died on losas then my existence would still be a matter for discussion as far as youre concerned

ss: And vice versa

SS: I know! I just... it feels like we should be on the same side. we were the same pony until recently.

ss: No

ss: We just had the same body

ss: We are completely different ponies diamond

ss: Our interests are almost inverted

ss: And our special talents

ss: Although suspiciously they are both represented by the same pictographic symbol

ss: Are completely different

SS: you're right, of course.

SS: I guess I'm just being stupid.

ss: Theres nothing stupid about attempting to find similarities

ss: You just need to accept that there arent any

SS: and that's it?

ss: Thats all it needs to be

ss: Ill talk to you later i guess

SS: ... yeah, OK.

SS: bye.

[suspiciousSerpent (SS) ceased pestering shiningSeraphim (ss)]

"Are you OK?" Acapella asked brightly, as she noticed Diamond captchaloguing her laptop with a pained expression. "Who was that?"

"Nopony important," Diamond replied. "Do we have a plan of attack yet?"

"Not really." Acapella shrugged apologetically. "We can't do anything while Rainbow's asleep, and even if she was here we can't do much when it's just the four of us." She looked apprehensively at Fluttershy. "Well, if I'm being brutally honest, just the three of us. Fluttershy has made it quite clear that she doesn't want to be fighting."

"Oh, well, I mean, only if that's OK..." Fluttershy began, but Diamond waved a hoof to cut her off.

"Don't worry; we won't be doing anything anyway. Not until we can get some reinforcements. Emmy has the MAP - we'll need him to sendificate himself over here once he's finished with whatever he's doing. Maybe we'll even get him to bring one of LOSAF's group over, to be on the safe side. Then we can probably do quite a bit of damage if we're careful." The problem, of course, was in knowing when and how to strike. They had no idea what was in the palace. Even if they waited for Mild and Silver to leave, there was no guarantee that there would be nothing more than a fairly potent Black Queen. There could be an entire army inside. "For now I don't think there's much we can do besides sitting around and waiting."

"Well now," an unfamiliar voice said. Turning on the spot, Diamond could only gasp in shock as she saw who was addressing her. "That's not exactly the inspiring battle plan I was hoping for, but maybe we can work something out." Despite the situation, Luna smiled brightly at the assembled ponies. "Who is your leader?" She paused, while the three ponies in front of her simply stared back with a mixture of shock, fear, and surprise. "And... why are you all staring at me like that?"

***KIND OF IN THE PAST I GUESS BUT ITS ALL OPEN TO INTERPRETATION, I SUPPOSE TECHNICALLY THE EVENTS OF THE PAST TWO CHAPTERS WERE ALL SORT OF HAPPENING CONCURRENTLY. THERE AREN'T REALLY ANY WRONG INTERPRETATIONS, EXCEPT ONES THAT ARE CLEARLY FALSE, LIKE SAYING THAT THIS HAPPENED BEFORE TWILIGHT ENTERED OR SOMETHING STUPID LIKE THAT***

"What? What's going on?" If Comet was supposed to suddenly understand something, as Twilight's reaction suggested, he had no idea what it was. "Twilight?" Twilight didn't respond, simply staring in shock. He turned back to the approaching creature. It wasn't like anything he had ever seen before. And he had seen salamanders fighting to the death in some kind of steampunk coliseum thing. "And who the fuck are you supposed to be? Why is nopony telling me what's going on? When did everything stop making sense!?" His increasingly exasperated questions were cut short, as the creature in front of him gave a quiet, yet undeniably evil laugh.

"Making sense? Oh, my poor ignorant friend..." Discord grinned wickedly. "What fun is there in making sense?"

***END OF ACT 2***

Chapter 20

View Online

"I apologise for stopping with that dramatic revelation," I say, as I rise to my feet. "But I must make sure that Pinkie is still suitably distracted. That, and... let's just say that I may need to fetch a few extra chairs. And also a gun. But do not be alarmed. Everything is under control." Sorting a few of my notes into a small bundle of paper, I hand them over to you. "I trust you can entertain yourselves with this until I return. It shouldn't take long, I promise." I do not approve of this practice - leaving you so frequently that it is necessary for you to continue the story without its narrator is just bad form. Truly, I am not a particularly good host. But then, I have never claimed to be. Doing so carries with it certain risks, which I am not about to go into. Regardless, it is with regret that I leave again, and I will make every effort to save my house as quickly as possible. "If it is any consolation," I add, "the next act is one of my favourites."

And with that, I am gone, leaving you to come to your own conclusions about what follows.

***BEGIN INTERMISSION 2***

The plains to the south of Canterlot were a beautiful sight in the Spring. Gentle rolling hills, clear skies, and what felt like all the time in the world. Luna had often wondered why nopony had built a town here. It was a perfect place to live. There was plenty of open land for farming, with the Everfree forest to the west. But then, maybe that would spoil the atmosphere. Briefly scanning the ground below her for any sign of her friends, but finding none, Luna decided to land and wait for them. Normally the others arrived before her, and upon landing she almost immediately discovered that they had done so this year as well.

"Luna!" Before Luna could turn around to face the source of the voice, Celestia had cartwheeled over her so that Luna was staring right at her excitable sister.

"Oh, hey Cel," Luna said, attempting to hide her surprise and mild irritation at her sisters unexpected appearance. Sometimes she really wondered if Celestia was older than her. "Where're the others?"

"Huh? I don't know, I guess they're running late," Celestia said, tilting her head so that her mane was covering most of her face, which was usually a sign that she wanted to change the subject. "But hey, can you hold onto this for me?" She held out a large book, which Luna warily accepted. Something about this was off, Luna could tell. Celestia never read books if she could help it. A few moments later, another voice confirmed her suspicions.

"OK, OK I caught you..." A thoroughly out of breath colt approached them, struggling to pull himself up the shallow incline. His task was made all the more difficult by his clothes - a large hat and a cloak covered in bells. While it looked very wise and wizardly under certain conditions, in broad daylight in the height of Spring it was nothing but impractical. Celestia completely failed to control herself at the sight, bursting into laughter as the unicorn approached. "Can I... have my book back now... please?" Pausing as he reached the two sisters, he glanced between Celestia and Luna, noticing her for the first time. "Hey Luna... I... uh. Book? Please?" He managed a smile, despite having long since passed the point where verbs were necessary components of a sentence. Shaking her head, and ignoring Celestia's cries of protest, Luna tossed the book towards him, which he simply seized out of the air with his magic and returned it to the satchel he was wearing.

"Good to see you again, Swirly," Luna said, smiling broadly at her friend. He nodded back distractedly, suddenly becoming incredibly interested in the bells along the edge of his cloak. "It's good to see that you two lovebirds are getting along so well." Celestia groaned dramatically, before rushing up to Luna and knocking her on the back of the head.

"Luna, how many times do I need to repeat myself? I am not, nor will I ever, be going out with Star Swirl. He's boring." Despite the indirect verbal abuse, Star Swirl seemed to agree with what Celestia was saying. Or at least, he was nodding while not really paying attention to them. Or at least, he wastrying to not pay attention to them. "Besides, everypony knows that Star Swirl -"

"Moving swiftly on," Star Swirl interrupted, cutting short whatever dramatic revelation was forthcoming. "Has anypony seen Golden? Or Silver, for that matter."

"Nope," Celestia said calmly. "If one of them was missing, I'd be worried. Since they're both missing, I don't think we need to worry. And I'm sure they'd appreciate it if we didn't go looking for them."

"I don't know what you're implying," Silver Heart said, as she, Golden Shine, and a large box teleported into the air next to the group. "But I'm sure that whatever it is, it deserves a preemptive 'shut the fuck up'. Moving onto more important matters..." Drawing attention to the box which the two newcomers had brought with them, Silver opened it and stepped back as Golden began removing its contents. "Who's hungry?"

***

It wasn't long before the five friends had finished making sure they knew exactly how the other four had spent the last year, at which point the conversation turned to the much more interesting and plot related. Most were grateful for this change, particularly Luna - who hadn't relished the chance to relate the last year at Flight School. And of course, that had been the story which everyone had paid the most attention to. It was about time that someone else took the pressure for a few minutes, she thought, while helping herself to another pie.

"So Swirly," Luna said, in between mouthfuls. "What was that computer game you mentioned us playing?" At the mention of the game, Golden - who had been staring absently into space for the last few minutes, while Celestia stole food off of his plate - suddenly snapped back into reality and began paying attention.

"Oh yeah, I remember you said about that. It sounded pretty awesome. Also, where's my pie!?" Celestia suppressed a giggle. Star Swirl nodded, and then summoned a large scroll for them all to see. It consisted of a large circle, with five smaller circles around it, as well as a few extra lines and dots.

"It's not just any game. I made it by adapting some old technology that I found in the Canterlot library. And when I say old, I mean ancient. This is from before computers, but somehow it's perfectly compatible. With a few minor tweaks, that is." Gesturing towards the smaller circles, he continued. "But I understand that it works something like this. Our group connects to each other, somehow allowing us to enter the game world, which will be laid out something like this. Then we will all fight and complete quests and so on, until we eventually claim some kind of ultimate prize. Exactly how it works, and to what extent the game can change reality, I have no idea. But it certainly seems like it'll be a lot of fun."

"I think it sounds odd," Celestia said. "I mean, I'll give it a go if you guys want to play it, but I'm not getting my hopes up." Star Swirl shrugged.

"Good enough for me. Luna, you'll play, right?" Even if she didn't want to play, Luna probably would have agreed anyway. Nopony should be punished with playing a game for several hours with only Celestia for company. She nodded. "Great! Obviously you want to play, Golden. Silver?"

"Well, I don't want to be the only one of us who isn't playing," Silver reasoned. She wasn't a huge fan of games, but surely it wouldn't hurt to just play one. Besides, this story of ancient technology had piqued her interest. "So yeah, I guess I'm on board."

"Jolly good. I'll send it to you all the next time you're online."

And so the friends continued to eat, and laugh, and steal Golden's pies, and all the things which friends do. Except for some things which certain types of friends do that these friends didn't do, because that would be inappropriate. The game, forgotten, sank to the bottom of their minds, buried beneath all the drama of a cut-throat social heirarchy. It would remain that way for some time, until many moons later...

***

Later that evening, the sun was setting low over the Everfree forest, and everypony was just about ready to call it a night. Then again, ponies of their age had an amazingly high resistance to common sense, and so none of them showed any sign of leaving, except for Silver Heart. She was standing at the edge of the group, staring out into the setting sun. If she was going to teleport home - which she was, because it was a ridiculous distance to Fillydelphia - then she needed to leave while the sun was still in the sky. Teleporting several miles across the country in the dark carried a lot of risks if you weren't careful, and Silver preferred to stay on the safe side when her internal organs were at risk.

"Hey, Silver," Golden called out as he approached, stopping next to Silver and following her line of sight to the setting sun. "Are you OK?"

"Yes Golden, I'm fine," Silver said. "But I'm probably going to head off now, before it gets too dark. This was fun, though. It was good to see the others, and you. We'll have to meet up again sometime."

"Yeah, that'd be cool," Golden agreed enthusiastically. "I don't know why the five of us only properly get together once every year anyway. This was awesome."

"I guess, but I didn't really mean all five of us," Silver said, trying to figure out a way of saying what she meant without it sounding awkward. "I was just thinking that maybe... you and me could meet up some time?" She paused, while Golden appeared to be lost in thought. "If, uh, you wanted to, that is. It's not a big deal, I just, uh. Yeah, I'll be quiet now." For some reason, the sun had never been so interesting, as Silver found herself staring intently at the descending sphere. After what seemed like an eternity, Golden eventually said something.

"So, you want to just hang out some time?" She nodded. "Do you mean that as in, uh..." Don't say it, Silver thought to herself, don't say it. "Like a, um... like a date?" Gog damn it. Breaking away from her staring contest with the sun, she swung her hoof wildly and clubbed Golden over the back of the head.

"That," she said calmly, "was for being pitifully cliché. Don't do that again."

"Sorry." He smiled weakly, while rubbing the back of his head. That was probably going to leave a mark.

"And for the record, no. No, it's not like a date. It's like..." Pausing for a moment, Silver tried to agree with herself on exactly what it was like. "It's like two friends spending time together doing friendly things because they are friends."

"Oh, OK." He nodded, but it was unclear whether that was to assure her or himself. "Good. I think. Not that, um. I mean... Heh, I don't know what I mean." He shrugged.

"No, I see what you mean, I think. I mean, it's not like I'm saying I wouldn't... I mean, wait. Fuck. I... am not saying... that... we are? But. I mean, hm. That is, I think that's what you... urgh, wait. Hang on, let me start again."

This kept on happening, with neither of them getting anywhere fast. But for now, let's leave them to their increasingly awkward conversation, and instead look at what the others were doing.

***

Luna wasn't sure who was supposed to be watching how much Celestia was drinking, but whoever it was clearly hadn't done a very good job. Trying to pay as little attention to her hyperactive sibling as possible, the pegasus instead attempted to start a conversation with Star Swirl. This was made more difficult by the fact that he was currently asleep. It seemed like Luna was the only one who hadn't drunk any alcohol. But then, she was the only one who was flying home.

"Swirly." No response. "Swirly, wake up." Still nothing. "Swirly, if you wake up right now then I will love you forever." The unicorn remained completely unresponsive. Maybe he really was asleep? There was only one way to be sure. "OK, if you don't wake up right now, then Celestia will love you forever." Nothing. That settled that. Pouring herself some more water thoughtfully, Luna decided that Star Swirl probably needed it more than she did. Of course, he couldn't drink it while he was asleep, so she settled for throwing it into his face instead. Crying out in surprise, Star Swirl was jolted awake by the sudden splash of cold.

"So, Swirly," Luna said, barely trying to contain her laughter as Star Swirl shook himself awake before attempting to listen to her. "How are you feeling?" His reply was almost instant, and incredibly racist, but it simply caused another laughing fit.

"Hmph," Star Swirl grumbled, wiping the water off of his face with his hoof. "Sometimes I wonder why I bother being so nice to you."

"Obviously it's because you feel pity for me." Without any need for clarification, the two ponies glanced at Celestia, who was currently working her way through Neighties pop songs. "I have that as a sister."

"True, I suppose," he grinned, Luna's crimes apparently forgiven. "It doesn't hurt that you're adorable." Instantly, he ducked, as Luna beat the hay out of the air where his head had been moments before.

"I am not adorable!" Luna shouted adorably. Star Swirl simply rolled his eyes.

"If you say so." For a few moments, the two of them sat there quietly, which forced them to listen to Celestia's singing.

Once upon a time I was falling in love

But now I'm only falling apart

There's nothing I can do

A total eclipse of....woah... *hic*

"Should we help her up?" Star Swirl asked, as the two of them watched Celestia collapse onto the ground in a fit of laughter. Luna thought it over briefly.

"... no."

***A FEW MOONS LATER***

Today was the day, Luna had decided, that she would finally remember to ask Star Swirl about the game he had talked about ages ago. For too long had she been intending to ask about it, only to be distracted by games or videos or music or studying or flying or really any other irrelevant distraction. But now she was going to turn on her computer, open up a chat window, and ask him straight away.

Except he wasn't online. Fuck.

***MANY MOONS LATER***

Star Swirl sighed wearily as he entered his home, the door closing behind him with an almost remorseful click. He had gotten into the habit of doing things in weary and remorseful ways, as part of an ongoing campaign to become more wizardly. The cloak and hat just weren't enough any more. You didn't just need to look like a wizard - you had to think like a wizard. And also be capable of magic, that was a plus, but there was so much more to it than that. More than most unicorns realised, or cared to know. That was part of the reason why he put up with the flaws of his home - the creaking floorboards and the draughts in winter were more than offset by the atmosphere. It just felt magic. Or at least, he thought so.

Quickly turning his computer on, and then leaving it to run while he went to make himself a cup of tea, Star Swirl reflected on the day's proceedings. Sure, in theory it was a great idea to use the magic released from an energy blast in the future to fuel the creation of that energy blast, thereby creating energy out of nothing. In practice, however, it had been discovered that physics had laws for a reason. Infinite energy sounds great, until you have explosions going off dangerously close to your head. Still, at least there hadn't been any casualties. Somehow. He suspected it was because the explosions had not actually happened, in a retroactive time warping paradox kind of way. It had still hurt, though.

A loud beeping from his computer told him that somepony was trying to contact him. Taking a closer look, he saw who it was - Luna. What could she ever - wait. Stop. Noticing the beginnings of certain trails of thought starting to form, he quickly silenced all guesses of what she wanted. The last thing he needed right now was to be typing and thinking two entirely different things.

[midnightEclipse began pestering amniomorphicWizard]

ME: Hey Swirly, do you have a minute?

AW: Of course.

Hold on, that sounds too self assured. Just 'of course' makes it sound like she's wasting your time. I should probably elaborate in case she gets the wrong idea.

AW: If you need something, then I have all the time in the world.

Wait, why the fuck did I type that? Argh, stupid! Quick, act like you're joking around.

AW: :P

Whew. Saved it.

AW: So, uh. What did you want?

ME: Do you remember, aaaaages ago, when we had our picnic?

AW: Of course I do.

AW: Although, if you know some way to forget the image of a drunk Celestia singing Pony Tyler songs, then please let me know.

ME: xD

ME: Sadly, I don't.

ME: I was thinking more about that game you were talking about.

ME: You never mentioned it to me again after that...

ME: :\

Oh, yeah. Memories came flooding back as Star Swirl suddenly remembered the game. Had he really forgotten to mention Sburb? It had been ages since then!

AW: Oh, that?

AW: Well, the deal with that is.

AW: I completely forgot about it until you mentioned it just now.

ME: Seriously?

AW: Yes. Don't act so surprised, Luna, you know what I'm like.

ME: Sigh...

ME: Well, now that you've remembered, what's happening with it?

AW: Well. I.

AW: I suppose we may as well start setting it up.

Quickly running his eyes over his friend list, Star Swirl checked to make sure the others were online. Most of them were. Celestia wasn't.

AW: And obviously we'll have to wait until all the others have it installed.

ME: Yeah...

ME: :/

AW: But never mind that. I'll send it to you now, and then we can both send it to the others later.

AW: If you don't mind, that is.

ME: Not at all, I'm just glad we're finally going to play it!

AW: Sorry about that.

ME: Oh, calm down, it's not like this game is the end of the world.

ME: Let's just get it set up.

ME: :D

AW: You're right, of course.

AW: Let's get this party started.

ME: ;)

A loud whistling from his kettle told him that the water had boiled. Making sure that the file was being transferred to Luna, he left his computer while he went to make his tea. Damn, his head hurt. Maybe he should get it looked at? Regardless of whether his injuries had actually happened or not, he still felt like hell. Maybe-

And then the floor beneath him collapsed.

ME: OK, got it. Thanks!

ME: I guess I'll install it and make sure it's ready to go, right?

ME: ... are you there? Swirly?

ME: Heh, you're probably making tea or something, aren't you.

ME: Well, give me a shout when you're ready to play the game.

ME: Or really for any other arbitrary reason, if you want.

ME: :)

[midnightEclipse ceased pestering amniomorphicWizard]

***

"You were a fool to come here, Miss Heart." Silver leapt backwards in surprise, as an unfamiliar voice rang out from the shadows. Where was that coming from? And where was she? "The halls of Derse have no place for you." Although the thick purple fog around her was thick, she could make out vague blocks of colour. There was a blob of bright green, which seemed to be in the direction of the voice.

"Wait!" A second voice, this one from another blob that appeared next to the green one. This second pony was a pale purple, a similar colour to Silver herself. "For reasons that should be obvious, I kind of have some moral issues with this. Just let her go." Although the voice was muffled by the fog, it sounded familiar. Somehow, Silver thought that she knew this mare. The first pony sighed wearily.

"I understand what you're saying, but please try to remember: she is not on our side. We cant allow her to continue unharmed, regardless of how you feel personally!"

"... you're right, of course," the mare admitted, apparently walking away from Silver and the green pony, as what little could be seen of her faded away altogether. "Just get it done, and then we can continue."

"Very well." The pony stepped away from Silver, fading completely into the fog once more. His voice persisted. "As I said, Miss Heart, you do not belong here. As far as Derse is concerned, the only good hero is a dead hero." When the voice next spoke, it was directly behind her. "'And from what I here, you're the single greatest hero in this entire session."

Suddenly, reality returned to being a thing which existed. A few moments later, Silver began to pay attention to it. She was sitting in the corner of her room. Sunlight was pouring in through the open window, and someone was trying to contact her on her computer. So what had just happened? Some kind of dream?

She supposed it was a side effect of spending so much time researching dark magic and keeping blueprints of summoning circles. Even so, that dream had felt worryingly real. Also that computer was making far too much noise for this time in the morning. But as she walked grumpily towards it, she smiled. It was Golden.

[eclecticSage began pestering suspiciousSeraphim (Ss)]

ES: HEY SILVER

ES: how's it all going?

Ss: Hello Golden!

Ss: I was just, um.

Ss: Sleeping.

ES: really? but it's the middle of the day!

Ss: Well, when I say sleeping, I mean hallucinating vividly before waking up in the corner of my room.

Ss: I don't know what I was doing, but it's all really weird. I suspect alcohol was involved.

ES: oh. WELL, anyway

ES: i

ES: do you remember the last time when all of us got together

Ss: I think so.

Silver began typing her next sentence. Wasn't that when we were talking-

ES: whatever you're about to type, PLEASE don't type it

Oh. Fine.

ES: i just wanted to say that i, uh

ES: well

ES: i've been thinking about it all

Ss: Good. Thinking is good.

ES: heheh, YEAH

ES: but yeah, i've been thinking, and

ES: WELL

ES: the thing is

Ss: ...

Ss: You're enjoying this, aren't you.

ES: enjoying WHAT

Ss: Dancing around whatever you have to say for as long as you can, in the most infuriating way possible.

Ss: And don't pretend that you're not!

ES: oh, sorry

ES: this is just kind of hard to actually SAY, you know?

Ss: No, I don't, because I don't know what you're trying to say.

ES: ah

Ss: Come on, what is it?

ES: FUCK, sorry silver

ES: let's just forget i was going to say anything, k?

Ss: No! That's even more annoying!

ES: sorry

Ss: >.<

Ss: Never mind, I suppose it doesn't matter.

ES: heh, guess not

Ss: Well, listen. I'm going downstairs, where I will get something to eat.

Ss: Then I will come back up here, and we can talk then.

ES: SURE

Ss: Bye!

ES: ^^

[suspiciousSeraphim (Ss) ceased being pestered by eclecticSage]

For a few moments, Silver reflected on how awkward it had become to talk to Golden. Ever since they had last met up, when both of them had completely failed to get their points across, their conversations had revolved almost exclusively around how awkward it was to talk to each other. Which simply made things worse, of course. It hurt her head to think about it for too long.

So she stopped, and went downstairs to get something to eat.

***

It was interesting to live around unicorns with the perspective of an earth pony. It showed you things. Things like how lazy ponies became when they didn't need to go through the precarious balancing act that was picking up anything. Things like how certain conversations would stop when an earth pony was in earshot. Of course, everypony in Canterlot was nice enough when they needed to be, but they didn't have to say anything for Celestia to know exactly what they were thinking. That she didn't belong in Canterlot.

Which, for her, was part of the appeal of living there. Because she could, and she wanted to, and there wasn't a damn thing anypony could do about it. Still, there were certain benefits to being an earth pony in this city. The first that came to mind was the bar where she was currently forgetting her troubles, of which there were assuredly plenty.

Noticing her empty glass, Pony Joe walked calmly over to the young mare and poured something into a glass. Celestia smiled gratefully as she slid four bits over the counter. He took half of them, then nodded and walked away. Laughing quietly to herself, Celestia retrieved her money. Joe was almost too nice for his own good. He had always knocked a few bits off of her drinks, claiming - although he had been drunk at the time - that he knew 'what itsh like to be in a place where nopony wantsh ya... *hic*'. Celestia had no idea what he thought life for an earth pony in Canterlot was like, but she wasn't about to turn down cheap drinks.

At any rate, she couldn't sit around drinking the night away, especially since it wasn't dark yet. There were important plans of importance to be put into motion, most of which required a clear head. And in this case, Star Swirl had explained, 'clear head' meant that her head needed to be empty of alcohol, not empty of cognisant thought.

***

Luckily, he was online.

[midnightEclipse began pestering amniomorphicWizard]

ME: Hey Swirly, do you have a minute?

AW: Of course.

AW: If you need something, then I have all the time in the world.

AW: :P

Typical Star Swirl, Luna thought. Saying the first thing he thinks of, and then reading it back to himself to decide whether or not he's said something stupid. Which was surprisingly often.

AW: So, uh. What did you want?

She then proceeded to have a conversation which does not need or deserve to be repeated. It ended like this:

ME: I guess I'll install it and make sure it's ready to go, right?

She opened the Sburb installer, and then spent the next five minutes clicking the endless "Next" and "OK" buttons which were a necessary part of any installation. It then occcurrred to her that Star Swirl hadn't said anything for five minutes.

ME: ... are you there? Swirly?

Another minute, and no answer came. It wasn't like Star Swirl to take so long to respond. Especially since he had 'all the time in the world' for her, Luna thought to herself. It amused her to think that he was probably kicking himself over saying that. At the time, she had briefly wondered why he had said it, before realising that it was for the same reason that Star Swirl said anything. He just didn't think.

ME: Heh, you're probably making tea or something, aren't you.

ME: Well, give me a shout when you're ready to play the game.

ME: Or really for any other arbitrary reason, if you want.

ME: :)

[midnightEclipse ceased pestering amniomorphicWizard]

***

Ss: Well, listen. I'm going downstairs, where I will get something to eat.

Ss: Then I will come back up here, and we can talk then.

ES: SURE

Ss: Bye!

ES: ^^

[suspiciousSeraphim (Ss) ceased being pestered by eclecticSage]

"Gog damn it." The curse was accompanied by a hoof to the forehead, as Golden Shine reflected on the many ways that he could have handled that conversation better. At the top of the list was not having the conversation in the first place. Why had he even needed to try, when he knew that he wouldn't be able to say anything? And besides, if he had said anything, what would have happened?

Well, he had a fairly good idea of what would have happened. She was Silver Heart, after all. And he was Golden Shine. Which was why he hadn't said anything. Stupid lousy brain, always second guessing itself.

Elsewhere, far removed from the world of Equestria, two ponies stood watching Golden Shine as he slept soundly in his fanciful dream tower. The unicorns eyes were firmly shut, making his fate all the more assured.

"I wonder what he's dreaming about," said Silver Edge. She was confused with the sight of their sleeping victim - memories clung to the back of her mind, unidentified but very insistent that their existence was acknowledged. She did remember this pony, despite having never met him. And it felt more than a little wrong to be doing this to him.

"I don't know," Mild said, shrugging off the nostalgic tone to his companion's voice. "I don't particularly care, either. Grab him, and let's go." He waited for a few moments, in which the two of them stood in silence. Eventually, he decided that Silver probably hadn't heard him. "Or you can sit there reminiscing about someone else's past that hasn't even happened yet, and I'll grab him instead." Lifting the sleeping pony into the air, Mild slowly dragged him out of the tower. "Anyway, we're going now, yes?"

"Yeah, sure," Silver said, not really listening. She was paying more attention to Golden's dream room. Specifically, she was staring at the image on the wall in front of her, above Golden's bed. Her memory was pretty shady at the best of times, but suddenly everything was very clear. Impatient with the wait, Mild flew back into the room, almost immediately spotting what had grabbed her attention.

"Oh..." he searched for the right words. "Uh. I don't want to be an ass about this, but you do realise-"

"Yeah, I know," Silver said, her voice sounding more tired and defeated than it sounded sad. "None of my business. Come on, let's just get out of here." Turning away from the wall, she and Mild hopped out of the tower and began to fly Golden's body down to the planet below.

"It's about time," Mild said.

***END INTERMISSION 2***

"I cannot stress enough just how sorry I am about all of that," I say, returning once more, this time through an entrance which does not yet exist. Or perhaps it is one that does not exist any more. I'll be damned if I can tell the difference. "Rest assured, however, that everything is under control... for the time being. The group which is converging on this position is still a threat, but fortunately I have managed to set up several convoluted plot devices to keep them from reaching us for a little longer." For perhaps the first time this evening, my expression betrays my fear of what is to come. I smile in an attempt to allay your concerns, but my sworn duty to record everything - including feelings that I may wish to keep concealed - defeats the purpose entirely.

"I do feel, however, that it is important that I explain this," I say. "It may be necessary for us to relocate the proceedings to another room of the building, for your convenience. That is not required just yet, of course, so until then I believe that we should continue as we have done so far. I have no intention of dying while I am keeping guests." I am not lying, nor am I being overly optimistic - there is nothing to say that the evening will end badly.

Then again, there is nothing to say it won't.

Chapter 21

View Online

***ACT 3***

A young colt is lying unconscious on the floor of a tunnel beneath his home. He has recently discovered this tunnel after his ancient floorboards finally decided to give way, but has so far been unable to make any meaningful observations about the nature of the tunnel. This is mainly due to the fact that he is unconscious. Another regrettable side effect of his current state is that he is incapable of giving a name by which we might refer to him. But if he was capable of naming himself, he would introduce himself as Star Swirl the Great. Or maybe Star Swirl the Wise. Perhaps Star Swirl the Mighty, although that one was usually reserved for special occasions.

Star Swirl is a unicorn who lives in Canterlot, in a decidedly run-down building. He is a talented magician, and has already created a vast number of spells despite his tender age. Not that his creations are the most important thing about magic, as far as he's concerned. If he was awake, and could see us, he would probably begin his well-practiced rant about the importance of a wizard behaving in a wizardly way. Aside from his technical ability, Star Swirl is a firm believer that showmanship is just as important - which is the reason for the ancient building, the cloak and that he is often found wearing, and his tendency to occasionally use outdated language and/or introduce himself with made up titles. He fully intends to become an old, wise stallion, with a cloak and a staff and a beard and all sorts of magical paraphernalia.

That said, he is not impartial to a good computer game, and also possesses a fair amount of skill when it comes to programming. In fact, he has managed to create a game for his friends by modifying old technology, which he plans to play later. Just as soon as he wakes up. Some of his other friends call his programming skills into question due to his rather pedestrian choice of language, but what do they know? ~ATH is such an unwieldy mess of logical and illogical loops overlapping in imperfect disharmony, it's just not worth the hassle to get it to behave.

Although traditionally a dream self would be awake while the corresponding player was unavailable, Star Swirl's dream self is yet to awaken. Instead, it is sleeping soundly in its dream room around the moon of Prospit, completely refusing to do anything interesting. He will awaken later, in very convoluted and dramatic circumstances, and at that point there will be no end of interesting things for him to do. But for now, observing his dream self would simply be a waste of time.

At any rate, Star Swirl will probably be out of action for quite some time. Maybe we should look at somepony else?

***

A young filly has just returned to her home in Canterlot. She is an earth pony, something of a rarity in the city. But she is far too optimistic to be crushed beneath the disapproving looks which are often aimed her way. Besides, she has more important matters to attend to.

Although she is only vaguely aware of it, she will soon begin to play a game with her sister and their friends. It is going to be just SO GREAT. But before she can do that, this filly is in desperate need of a name.

What could that name be?

On second thoughts, the last thing we need right now is to offend her with any silly suggestions. That would be no way to treat royalty, after all. Not that she is royalty, of course. As everypony knows, Equestria is ruled by a democratic republic consisting of several representatives from all three races. But still, that wouldn't be very nice, so let's just accept that and move on.

Her name is Celestia. As mentioned, she is an earth pony living in Canterlot, and her special talent is... uh... being... sunny? She guesses? It probably doesn't mean that she has a special talent for fusing hydrogen. Clearly, her cutie mark is one of the more symbolic and abstract special talents, rather than any concrete ability. She can't even remember when she got her cutie mark. Weird. Although she is not aware of the game she will soon be playing, she is fully aware of another scheme which is currently unfolding. This is a scheme which she and Star Swirl have been planning, and that she is about to set in motion.

Come to think of it, scheme isn't the right word. It's not like there are any complicated twists or sinister motives involved. She just has to talk to her sister.

[heliacalDreamer began pestering midnightEclipse]

HD: HEY LUNA!

ME: Ah, just the pony I was waiting for.

HD: You were waiting for me?

ME: Yes.

HD: WHY!?

ME: There's no reason to shout. I was waiting to send you this game.

HD: What game would this be?

ME: Swirly's game. The one he was talking about aaaaages ago, remember?

HD: NOPE!

ME: Well, whatever. We're playing it.

Accepting the files which Luna was sending her, Celestia briefly meditated on what this would mean for the plan. If Star Swirl had agreed then presumably that meant everything was going to continue as planned. Or maybe he was just being an idiot because of obvious reasons. The obvious reasons being that he was an idiot. And it was obvious.

HD: I don't suppose you know why he isn't online?

ME: Swirly? I have no idea. He just stopped responding to all my messages suddenly, and then a few minutes later his computer must have put itself on standby or something.

HD: HAH.

HD: And you're sure he's not just hiding because you were annoying him?

ME: I was not annoying him!

HD: OH, SURE.

ME: We were having a perfectly friendly conversation, I'll have you know.

HD: Yeah, I'm sure he was more than happy to make time for you, wasn't he.

ME: And what the hay is that supposed to mean?

HD: NOTHING WHATSOEVER.

HD: I'm just saying, he's always really nice to you.

HD: ISN'T HE.

ME: I don't know. He's not mean to me for no reason, if that's what you mean.

ME: But the same could be said for Golden. Or Silver. Or really, anypony who isn't you.

Hm. Maybe this would be harder than expected. Or maybe Luna was just being dense for ironic purposes. Celestia found it annoying how difficult it was for her to understand her sister, although she supposed that she was probably just as hard to understand for Luna.

HD: Hey, calm down, I'm just speaking my mind. NO BIG DEAL! It's just what I've noticed.

ME: Well, your opinion is acknowledged. And then discarded immediately.

HD: OH MAN I'M JUST SO DEPRESSED NOW THAT LUNA REJECTED MY PROTIPS.

HD: But seriously, why don't you just talk to him about it when he gets back.

ME: Talk to him about what?

HD: HOW ARE YOU SO DENSE!?

HD: About how he's so nice to you.

ME: I just said that I haven't noticed him being excessively nice to me in particular. He's just a nice guy to everypony.

HD: WOULD IT KILL YOU TO ASK?

ME: Why are you getting so worked up about this?

ME: Is this some kind of misguided attempt to use reverse psychology to dare me into talking to him about some kind of obscure shipping fantasy you've got?

ME: Because if you admitted that then I would just want to go and talk to him immediately.

HD: At least I'm better at reverse psychology than you are.

ME: You do realise that I just won, right?

HD: YOU DID NO SUCH THING.

ME: Whatever. I'm going to go and search for food. You can install that game, I guess.

HD: Fiiiine.

[heliacalDreamer ceased pestering midnightEclipse]

All things considered, that could have gone smoother, but Celestia couldn't pinpoint exactly where the conversation had abandoned any genuine attempt to follow the plan. She suspected that was because the conversation had only ever been about her ongoing series of increasingly childish/ironic arguments with her sister. Achieving the intended outcome for Star Swirl would have been a bonus, sure, but it wasn't a big deal for her. Not when she had more important things to be doing.

Most of these things were alcoholic.

***

Star Swirl was not particularly happy. Not ony had his floor collapsed, but he was in no fit shape to teleport out of the tunnel he now found himself in. The only option left available to him, it seemed, was to wander aimlessly around the undergound paths he had discovered until one of them led back to the surface. And that was just what he was going to do. Nopony got between him and playing a game with his friends. Nopony. Not even gravity.

***

A unicorn living in Manehattan is currently burying his head in his hooves, after entirely failing to properly communicate with one of his friends. As a result, she is still simply a friend, rather than anything more than that. Still, she could potentially be even less than a friend, which is one of the reasons why he completely failed to talk to her properly.

Shipping is confusing.

His name is Golden Shine, and he - like so many others in the world - has a variety of interests.

Golden is not known for his eloquence and skill with words, but regardless he has a quiet fondness for riddles. Riddles are awesome. If there was some kind of contrived situation in the future when the life of his friends depended on his ability to answer a riddle, then he would have no trouble. Still, he can't imagine anything like that actually happening. Riddles are still awesome, though.

Another of his interests is food. All kinds of food, but most especially pies. All kinds of pies, but most especially apple pies. Oh man, apple pies. Apple pies are literally the greatest thing ever. If there was any one reason why one of the founders of Equestria, arguably the six most important ponies to have ever lived, was an apple farmer, apple pies were that reason. Golden wasn't sure exactly how much the founding of Equestria had to do with apples, but there had probably been apple pies involved somewhere along the line. And they were probably delicious.

In fact, it is Golden's love of apples that earned him his cutie mark. A solid gold apple, although exactly what it was supposed to mean he didn't know. Did he have a special talent for eating apples or something? Whatever, it probably wasn't important.

Before he could contemplate any further interests, however, Silver returned to her computer and began messaging him. Golden gave himself one final kick in the brain - figuratively speaking. He was doing this, he was not going to be a complete idiot. He had this conversation sorted. No problems.

[suspiciousSeraphim (Ss) began pestering eclecticSage]

Ss: I'm back!

ES: oh, HEY

Ss: So...

Ss: Have you decided to tell me what you're thinking yet?

ES: yeah i have

Ss: Oh. Good. I wasn't expecting that, but OK sure.

Ss: So, what is it?

ES: the answer is YES

Ss: The answer to what?

ES: last time we met up, and you were asking if i wanted to hang out

Ss: Oh, right...

ES: the answer to that is YES, yes i would

Ss: Ah. Good, that's good. Not like a date or anything, of course.

ES: .... silver

ES: i have an idea

Ss: What?

ES: how about neither of us give a flying fuck whether or not this is a date

ES: or whether we would agree to it if it was

ES: and just hang out, which is all that you were asking IN THE FIRST PLACE

Ss: ...

Ss: You know, that sounds like a really good idea.

ES: GREAT

ES: ^^

Huh. Apparently he had made it through what he had wanted to say without fucking up. That was... convenient? It was unlike the Universe to allow things to go so well for him. It was almost suspicious, although Golden wasn't about to complain. Maybe it was just his luck finally balancing out?

Ss: You know, in a few days there's a comet due to pass right across Fillydelphia.

ES: oh?

Ss: I was going to stay inside and try to use its power to open a gateway into the doom weary realm...

Ss: But I suppose we could go out and take a look.

Ss: If that's cool with you.

ES: YEAH, that sounds awesome

ES: were you actually going to do all that weird eldritch stuff you always talk about?

Ss: Heh, maaaybe.

Ss: You'll never know! :D

ES: ^^

Well, that went better than expected. This run of not screwing up was incredibly unsettling. Even so, he was feeling better with himself now that that had been taken care of.

***

After wandering through the dark for quite some time, Star Swirl was beginning to wonder exactly what these tunnels were actually for. Surely there wouldn't be a network of underground passages beneath Canterlot for no reason. And the markings on the walls were rather strange as well, apparently consisting of random combinations of turtles, crocodiles, and some other animals that he couldn't identify. As he pondered their meaning, it suddenly occurred to him that he could see wall carvings when he should have been in almost total darkness. Exactly how he hadn't noticed the faint orange light which was filling the tunnel, he had no idea.

Running down the steadily brightening tunnel as cautiously as possible, Star Swirl was unsure of whether he should feel relieved or frustrated as the path opened up into a large chamber. Although he had actually found something other than endless tunnels, which was reassuring, a few quick glances around the room told him that there were no other exits. So he had been going the wrong way the entire time. Having spent the best part of an hour wandering around, he was not about to turn around and head back the way he had come. Instead, he decided to investigate the chamber.

Immediately drawn to the centre, he slowly approached the large statues which surrounded a central platform. The entire setup looked like it was some kind of temple, to something or other. And, looking more closely at the six statues, he realised exactly what it was.

As he stood on the large round platform in the very centre of the chamber, and rotated clockwise, he mentally checked off the list as his gaze passed each statue. Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity. The six founders of Equestria. He suddenly understood very little. Why were statues of the six founders in a temple underneath Canterlot, surrounded by drawings of reptiles?

And why, for that matter, was the platform beneath him suddenly glowing red? Suddenly looking down as he noticed the glow, Star Swirl realised that the entire platform now bore the symbol of a large red cog. Whatever it meant, it seemed almost familiar to him, and for a few moments he was frozen in place as he stared down at the glowing shape.

And then everything went crazy.

***

A unicorn is in her room in Fillydelphia, having just finished talking to one of her closest friends. And when she says that he is a friend, she means that he is a friend. Seriously, those two are just so friendly. Their friendly friendship is just a testament to the power of friendship when you believe in your friends. Wow. So friendly.

Her name is Silver Heart, and her interests - although varied - are a bit of a mixed bag. On the one hand, she has more than a passing interest in matters of the occult. Some would call it an obsession; she would call it an appreciation. Regardless, she finds all incarnations of dark magic and grim legends fascinating. She often attempts to perform summoning’s, which is the closest to full-blown dark magic she can get without breaking the law. So far, none of her attempts have worked. Maybe demons just don't take her seriously or something?

One reason why that may be the case is that Silver also enjoys going out with her friends. That is, she enjoys hanging out with her friends. Not 'going out' as in dating her friends. She doesn't do that, because all her relationships with her friends are exclusively friendly. Where did you even get the idea that she wants to go out with her friends, that's what she wants to know. Really, the very idea is almost laughable. Haha. Friendship, on the other hand, is incredibly serious business.

Silver prides herself on being one of the few ponies in her circle of friends that has a cutie mark which makes perfect sense and doesn't have any hidden meaning behind it. It's a camera. She's good at using cameras. It doesn't get much clearer than that. Cameras are just so cool. Or at least, using them is. Silver doesn't appreciate having photos taken of herself, that's just not OK. Even so, Silver does sometimes wonder why so many of her friends have vague or unfitting cutie marks. Take Luna, for example. She had a moon. What the hay was that supposed to mean? Was she a werepony? Then again, it was only a crescent moon, not a full moon.

It was at that moment that Luna decided to message her, which was thoroughly disconcerting.

[midnightEclipse began pestering suspiciousSeraphim (Ss)]

ME: Hey Silver.

Ss: Luna!

Ss: To what do I owe the pleasure?

ME: I came to give you this...

Ss: Huh. What's that?

While their conversation continued, Silver quickly began to download the files Luna was sending her.

ME: Remember at that picnic we had ages ago?

Ss: Urgh, why has everypony been talking about that today?

ME: They have?

Ss: Yeah, I was just talking with Golden about it.

ME: Ah.

ME: Why, what was he talking about?

Ss: Well. That is.

Ss: Yeah.

Ss: So anyway, what about the picnic?

ME: *raises eyebrows*

Ss: You can do whatever you want with your eyebrows.

Ss: Just tell me what the point is.

ME: The point is, do you remember the game Swirly was talking about?

Ss: Vaguely.

ME: Well, it's finally happening.

ME: As soon as he gets back, that is.

ME: In the meantime, I'm going to send it to Golden.

Ss: Oh, right. OK.

ME: I'll talk to you again in just a bit, OK?

Ss: Yeah, sure.

[midnightEclipse ceased pestering suspiciousSeraphim (Ss)]

In all honesty, Silver couldn't remember anything about a game. Still, it could be fun. Especially since Golden would be playing.

By which she meant that if Golden was playing then there would be one more friend playing than if he wasn't. And more friends is better. Because of how friendly they are.

Friendship. So great.

***

"Urgh... head. Ow." The first thing that Star Swirl noticed when he eventually woke up was the sunlight which burned into his drowsy eyes, causing him to cry out in pain. Or at least, it would have done if he hadn't been so tired, so instead he simply grunted in annoyance. Then he tried again, and was greeted with an unexpected sight.

He was standing in an area which was recognisable as Canterlot, minus most of the buildings. A few, such as the large building where the leaders of Equestria met to discuss whatever it was that they discussed. Star Swirl had never paid much attention to politics, especially when he was busy figuring out exactly why half of Canterlot was missing. Before he could investigate, however, a bright pink earth pony appeared out of nowhere, grinning maniacally.

"Hi!" Pinkie Pie cried, causing Star Swirl to fall backwards in confusion. "I'm Pinkie Pie, and you must be new here because I've never seen you before, but you look nice and friendly so let's be friends, can we be friends? Oh please say we can be friends, I love being friends! Friends are my favourite!" As she spoke, Pinkie happily bounced on the spot, saying one word as she kicked off of the ground and another as she landed again. Star Swirl just stared up at her in shock. "Is that a no? Why, stranger, whyyy? Is it the bouncing? The hair? I can change, I swear, just give me another chance!" Her act would probably have been more convincing if she wasn't beaming madly at him.

"I. Uh. Hello. I'm Star Swirl," Star Swirl managed, somewhat perplexed by Pinkie's erratic behaviour. It wasn't what he would have expected from a national hero. Then again, he wouldn't have expected to ever meet her. On a related note, what the hay had just happened? "I don't suppose you know how I got here?" He asked, although he already knew what her answer was going to be.

"Of course I do!" Oh. Maybe he didn't. "You time travelled from the future!"

"Ah. Uh." Despite the fact that the idea made a worrying amount of sense, he couldn't help but feel a little confused. He had made several attempts to do what some of his peers had termed 'breaking the time barrier', but sadly they had all ended in failure. Some more painfully than others. The fact that he had apparently managed it entirely by accident was both encouraging and irritating. "How... how do you know that?" In response, Pinkie jumped unnervingly close to him, and sniffed deeply.

"Smell that? That is undeniably the smell of negatively charged tachyons. Hence, time travel from the future." Warily, Star Swirl followed her example. The smell of cinnamon filled his nose. "Or possibly delicious pastry," Pinkie admitted. "Which is just as exciting."

"Right. Um." Well that was that, Star Swirl decided. Now he was in an interesting position. He could learn so much about the founding of Equestria. This was kind of a big deal. Only the vaguest bits and pieces were known about this time, when six ponies had changed the face of the planet forever. Working alongside each other, they had brought all the races to work and build together. And from that, many great things had happened. The first tentative steps towards the first computer were made, the council had been formed, and all of them had in some way contributed to the peace which came to the land. Specifically, Pinkie Pie... if memory served, Pinkie Pie had - among other things - made a lot of spookily accurate predictions about the future. And as far as Star Swirl could tell, she definitely showed every sign of knowing a lot more than she should do considering her time period. It was kind of unnerving, if he was being honest. "I don't suppose I could ask you a few-"

"No!" Pinkie cut short his request, an alarmed look on her face. "There's no time, you have to get back to your friends!"

"Uh." There were a few problems with her demand that Star Swirl noticed. In the first case, he couldn't actually time travel. Not properly, and certainly not reliably. A few failed experiments didn't count. And in the second case, how did she know about his friends?

"You're playing a game with them, aren't you?" Pinkie asked. Although a little taken aback by her worrying knowledge, Star Swirl nodded. "In case you haven't realised it yet, that game is incredibly important. You have to get back and play it straight away. The fate of more than one Universe depends on it!"

"Wait. If time travel is involved, then surely it doesn't matter when I leave?"

"You'd think so, but it's all relative. Every second you spend here is a second missed in your time." That still made no sense, Star Swirl thought to himself, but he wasn't about to try to argue with one of the founders about temporal mechanics.

"Is there any point in asking how you know all of this?" Pinkie thought for a moment.

"Nope!" Of course. It was an act of sheer optimism to ask the question in the first place. That still left one or two questions, however.

"So... uh. How do I get back?" Even as he said it, he found the answer - the ground beneath him once again lit up with the familiar red cog; presumably whatever mechanism had launched him into the past in the first place was about to reel him back to the present. "Oh." He looked up from the cog at Pinkie, who was still beaming happily. "Uh, goodbye then? I guess?" Suddenly, her eyes widened.

"Oh! Oh, waitwaitwaitwaitwait! I need to give you this! It's super important!" Seemingly summoning a box out of nowhere, Pinkie reached into it and triumphantly retrieved a large sceptre. It was solid black, and somehow it was levitating 10 glowing white orbs around itself. Whatever it was, Star Swirl was getting a strange feeling from it. Something told him he didn't want anything to do with it. When Pinkie handed it to him, though, he lifted it out of her hooves all the same. "Listen very, VERY carefully. When you begin playing the game, you'll see a glowing ball of light. It's called a kernelsprite, and you'll all get one. You'll all have to throw something into it before continuing, and when it's your turn, you need to use that sceptre. OK?"

"Why? What will it do?" Despite his misgivings about the sceptre, Star Swirl quietly placed it into his sylladex.

"I can't tell you that. All I can tell you is that it is very, VERY important." Pinkie smiled again, her task apparently complete. "Anyway, goodbye Star Swirl!"

"Yeah, OK."

"Oh, and remember: no matter what happens, you can never EVER let Golden-"

And then the steadily increasing red glow engulfed him entirely, and he was sent flying across centuries, back to the future.

***

A pegasus is in her home in Cloudsdale, and has been patiently waiting for her turn to be introduced into the story. So let's get right onto that.

Her name is Luna, and she is about to play a game with her friends. She has spent the last few hours sending the game to everypony or otherwise preparing, but has yet to discover the exact nature of what the game is or how to play it. All she knew was that, whatever game it was, it was apparently huge. In the time Star Swirl had been gone, the game - calling itself 'Sburb' - had barely had time to install itself onto her computer. And, upon attempting to open it, she had discovered that the two programs (the client and the server) each required another player using the other program in order to run. Apparently this game was exclusively multiplayer. She made a mental note to ask Star Swirl about it when he got back from his suspiciously long tea break.

Speaking of Star Swirl, Luna wasn't sure what Celestia had been implying earlier. She suspected it was just another attempt to get under her skin, but even so she found herself pondering how Star Swirl acted around her. Was he always nice to her? Luna liked to think that she would have noticed, but the more she thought about it the less sure she was. Maybe she would have to talk to him about it, after all. The fact that she was spending most of the day waiting for Star Swirl was not lost on Luna, although she was sure that it wasn't important.

And then the unicorn in question returned.

[midnightEclipse began pestering amniomorphicWizard]

ME: Swirly!

AW: Luna!

ME: Tell me, where - and I mean this in the nicest way possible - the FUCK have you been?

AW: Erm. Well, I could tell you. But I'm not so sure you'd believe me.

ME: Try me.

AW: My floor collapsed, and I was forced to spend several hours wandering through pitch black caverns.

ME: Oh. Well, that's kind of amusing, but perfectly within the bounds of random stuff that happens for no reason. Why wouldn't I believe you?

AW: I wasn't done.

ME: Ah. Carry on then.

AW: So, I was walking through these tunnels for ages, and then I find this temple dedicated to the six founders buried underneath Canterlot.

ME: Right...

AW: And then I ended up being sent back in time somehow, had a brief conversation with Pinkie Pie...

AW: And yes, by "Pinkie Pie" I do mean Pinkamena Diane Pie herself.

AW: Then I got pulled back into the present, and the whole wall of the cave opened up and I got out.

AW: After that, I ran back here.

ME: I see.

ME: Um. I want to believe you, but.

ME: Well.

AW: It's not very believable, I know. Especially since I told it so terribly.

ME: Ah, never mind.

ME: At the end of the day, does it really matter what happened?

ME: Whatever it was, you're here now.

AW: Yes, I suppose you're right.

ME: I've sent everypony the game while you were gone, although I wouldn't expect them to be ready yet given how long it took me to install it.

ME: It's all ready on my computer, though.

AW: Good, that's very good. I'm beginning to think that this game is a lot more important that any of us realise.

ME: Why?

AW: No reason in particular, just something that Pinkie said.

ME: Heh.

ME: Anyway Swirly, now that you're here...

ME: Shall we?

AW: I thought you'd never ask.

ME: ;)

ME: Let's get this show on the road.

***

ME: Let's get this show on the road.

Retrieving the black sceptre from his sylladex, Star Swirl placed it next to him as he and Luna connected their respective programs. He still had a bad feeling about it, but he was prepared to trust Pinkie's word in this case. Especially since, as he had discovered while rushing towards his home through the streets of Canterlot, this game really was serious business. Turning absently to the window next to his computer, quickly stuck his head outside and glanced upwards. Just as before, the rapidly growing
meteor refused to deviate from its path. Which, unless he was mistaken, was directly onto his home.

Chapter 22

View Online

Even something as simple as prototyping a kernelsprite can be difficult under pressure. The ability to pick an object and random and throw it at the kernelsprite has a tendency to disappear at the most inconvenient moment, as Luna was discovering. The pressure was not helped by the effects of Star Swirl's prototyping, which had been less than brilliant. Silver wasn't helping, either.

Ss: Come on; just throw any old thing into it.

ME: What happened the last time somepony just threw any old thing into it?

Ss: Oh right, I'm sorry for not being clear.

Ss: Throw any old thing which ISN'T A MEGA POWERFUL ANCIENT ARTIFACT into it.

Ss: Better?

ME: Marginally.

Casting about her room for any inspiration, Luna found herself drawn to absolutely nothing in particular.

ME: Yeah, I have no ideas.

Ss: Why is this so difficult!?

Ss: OK, let's see... what's that pie?

ME: Pie?

Glancing around, Luna spotted the pie in question. She had been planning on eating it earlier, except she had completely forgotten about it. And also she had been busy saving Star Swirl's life. Damn.

ME: Aw, I forgot about that!

ME: Also, no way.

Ss: :\

ME: I'm not using the pie. That is a delicious pie, and I am going to eat it.

ME: Later.

Ss: Nooo, use the pie!

ME: Why?

Ss: Because you've already spent far too long with this.

Ss: Just write down the code and you can make another pie once we get you in.

ME: Oh yeah.

Quickly taking note of the code, Luna tossed the pie kernel-ward.

Ss: And now that that's finally taken care of, we still need to figure out what the deal with this stupid cruxite butterfly thing.

ME: Oh, that? I got that ages ago.

Ss: I thank you for including me, your trusted friend, in your thought process.

ME: Calm down, it's no big deal.

Quickly hopping down two flights of stairs, spending a few moments searching while ignoring the ever-decreasing countdown, and hopping back up again, Luna triumphantly presented a large glass jar to nopony in particular.

Ss: Uh. What?

ME: It's a jar. To put the butterfly in.

Ss: What makes you think that's what you have to do?

ME: Well, Star Swirl had to write a scroll and fold it up. So it makes sense that I have to catch a butterfly and put it in a jar.

Ss: How does that make any sense?

ME: There's clearly a pattern. We're both doing something that's... I don't know, it's like our puzzle is setting up a puzzle to be done later.

Ss: 0:05, by the way.

ME: Thanks for the encouragement.

Ss: Well, go ahead and try it if you want.

ME: I will.

And she did.

***

Waiting patiently beneath the gate which would take him to Luna's planet, Star Swirl looked out across his planet one last time before he left. Although Sburb had not turned out to be anything like he had expected, he was - as it happened - very good at it. Storming through his initial group of quests, he was comfortably strong enough to continue on to Luna's planet. Or strong enough to continue questing by himself, he noted. That was still an option, albeit a terrible one. The game would be more fun with more players. And besides, he was getting lonely.

Briefly, he considered finding his sprite to see if it had any parting words of advice, before deciding against it. Whatever that sceptre had been, regardless of how important it was, it had meant nothing but trouble. His sprite looked nothing like it, instead resembling a jumbled mess of seemingly random items. An eagle wing, a sharp tooth, a fluffy wig... what was all of that supposed to be? Whatever it was, the underlings had possessed the same physical traits, and they were very hard to kill. Star Swirl was a magician, not a mathematician, but he could still put two and two together. Clearly, what was prototyped changed the game in some way. And using the sceptre to do so had clearly been a terrible mistake. Not to mention that his sprite was prone to randomly attacking him in the middle of giving advice - and by advice, he meant vague riddles that didn't help at all. Finding the damn thing was not only difficult, but he would probably just end up having another epic duel with the thing. No, it was better to just sit and wait for Luna to enter.

Even so, he did wonder why Pinkie, a founder of Equestria, had considered it so very important to screw up his game. What possible purpose could this serve? He had a feeling that he was going to find out sooner or later, and that he wasn't going to like it when he did. It was probably one of those terrible reasons like all the stupid "it couldn't have happened any other way" rubbish that people in stories about time travel always came up with. Star Swirl was always annoyed by excuses like that. Doing something for no reason other than that you've already done it was stupid. Still, if he was going to trust anyone's judgement on such matters, it may as well be a founder's judgement.

***

As Luna's house faded away into a bright white light, Silver sighed wearily and closed down the game window. Luna's solution had clearly been correct, that was clear from the lights and fanfare that had begun as the jar had been sealed. It remained to be seen whether she had gotten through in time, however. Still, there wasn't a lot that Silver could do for Luna now. Now her main priority was making sure that she got through in time. And since her server was probably going to be drunk, that meant she should get started as soon as possible.

[suspiciousSeraphim (Ss) began pestering heliacalDreamer]

Ss: Hello again, Celestia.

HD: HEY SILVER!

HD: What's up?

Ss: Well, I just got Luna into the game.

Ss: At least, I assume I did. Everything went white just as the meteor was about to hit...

Ss: But in any case, it's my turn next. And, given what's at stake, I'd like to get it out of the way as quickly as possible.

Ss: So, are you ready?

HD: YEAH!

Ss: Great.

HD: Just remind me...

HD: WHAT GAME ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE?

Groaning and burying her head in her hooves, Silver silently prayed to any horror-terrors that happened to hold her in good favour. She had a feeling that this game was going to be a long and painful experience.

***

Even after slowly opening her eyes, Luna had to open and close them a few times before she was suitably convinced that they were open. Not because she couldn't believe what she was seeing, but because she literally couldn't see anything. Everything was thoroughly shrouded in darkness. A faint sigh nearby told her that her laptop was asleep, although she had no idea where it was. This was ridiculous. Star Swirl had gotten a cool planet. It had pillars and crocodiles and lots of awesome puzzles. But what did she get? The Land of Power Cuts and Midnight, from the way it looked. Presumably the quests would revolve around waking up at 2am and being unable to get back to sleep, a few panicked moments of repeatedly flicking the broken light switch on and off, followed by several minutes of painful stumbling through her house in attempt to find the fuse box. Luna couldn't wait to get started.

After a few confused and injury filled minutes of investigating her surroundings, Luna came to the conclusion that this really wasn't going to work. If she could find one of her windows, then she could try to fly out of her home. But that presented its own problems. It was probably a bad idea to try flying blind with only gravity to tell you where the ground was. Besides, if she flew away, how was she ever going to find her way back home again? No, the thing to do was-ARGH!

One rapid decline in altitude and several thoroughly offended deities later, Luna eventually picked herself up and tried to get her bearings. So now she was on the first floor, at the base of the staircase that she had just fallen down. That meant the other staircase was forwards and to her left, so she didn't want to go that way. Or did she? Was she trying to get outside? She didn't know, and it was hard to think about anything other than how much her legs were hurting after their collisions with the stairs. Turning around to face the staircase in question, Luna could almost see faces in the patterns the cloud had formed, smiling evilly at her as they reminded her about the things which often happened involving stairs, and how those things had a tendency to continue happening. Wait, why could she see the pattern in the dark? The answer, she immediately told herself, was that it wasn't totally dark like it had been previously. There was a light coming from somewhere behind her, which was - as far as she was aware - a new development. Turning back to face the room in search of the light source, Luna found it almost immediately.

"Hey Luna," Star Swirl said. "I figured I'd come over and see if you needed a hand."

"Swirly!" And sure enough, there he was, surrounded in a warm aura of yellow light, an undeniably smug look plastered across the unicorn's face. Abandoning any attempt to calmly greet her friend, Luna leapt across the room towards him with a wide grin on her face, before swinging her hoof into his head. Then she hugged him. Any objections and/or expletives that had been forthcoming were instantly cut short as Star Swirl froze, not daring to say or do anything. For a few seconds neither pony was moving, and only one of them was breathing. "That was for taking so long," Luna said, as she eventually released him and set about finding the way out of her home. Star Swirl followed, the light he was projecting guiding her through the building.

"What was, the punch or the hug?" Luna glanced back at him, tilting her head in mock confusion.

"I don't understand the question. Anyway, hold steady for a moment." After descending a short staircase - thankfully without her earlier attempt repeating itself - they were now by the front door of Luna's home. An array of locks and chains were firmly in place. Absently, Luna tried to remember why she had so many locks. It didn't make much sense to her now. As she prepared to get started, however, something occurred to her. "Wait a minute, if all the locks are still shut, how did you get in?" Star Swirl didn't need to answer. The moment Luna's hoof came in contact with the door, the entire structure tipped backwards as the door fell out into the pitch black planet beyond. A few moments of surveying her broken doorframe revealed that the door had been forcibly removed from its frame. The burn marks told her how that had probably been done. Stepping out of her house, she gave Star Swirl a dark look as he sheepishly followed her outside.

"Sorry about that. I-" he paused, as their surroundings suddenly changed. "Oh, wow."

The land before them was suddenly visible, and it was certainly not what either of them had expected. Luna's house had been transported to an enormous field of rock littered with crags and chasms and other formations. Huge spires of rock were also visible, as well as smaller needles sharpened into a very dangerous looking point. From their slight vantage point - a platform of cloud extended out from Luna's front door, on which they were currently standing - they could see that this maze of spires and needles continued in all directions for several miles, until vast mountains loomed up from the horizon. And, although this was all visible, they could now see why they had been in total darkness before; huge black clouds could be seen rolling across the ground, enveloping the rocks as they swirled around ceaselessly. Apparently one such cloud had covered Luna's home until that moment. And, of course, the terrain was exactly the worst kind of area to navigate in total darkness. One wrong step could mean disaster, between the endless ravines and the wickedly sharp spikes. Even now they were out in the open, the planet was only slightly brighter, as everything was bathed in a dim blue light. Above them they could see a thick barrier of clouds stubbornly refusing the light from Skaia - contrasting with Star Swirl's planet, where Skaia had been a particularly prominent part of the setting.

"Quite the planet you have here," Star Swirl commented. "I just wish it wasn't so freezing." As he said it, Luna noticed the temperature for the first time. She hadn't initially noticed anything strange, since it was always quite cold in Cloudsdale. But to be so cold at ground level...

"Great, just my luck. Freezing, periodic total darkness, and thousands of deadly spikes. My planet rules."

"It's not that bad," Star Swirl said. "I just wish I'd brought my cloak." Luna laughed.

"Yes you do, but not because it's cold. You just like looking like a wizard."

"I am a wizard," Star Swirl retorted. "If I'm not a wizard then how did I just walk up stairs made of clouds?" Luna shook her head, dismissing the fact that she hadn't even realised he shouldn't have been able to walk around in her house. Instead she reached down and gathered up a clump of cloud from the platform beneath them, and stuck it onto his face. It covered his mouth, but she could still make out a few muffled shouts.

"There, now you look like a proper wizard," Luna said, jumping over him and off of the platform of cloud, landing on the planet below. "Star Swirl the Bearded. That sounds wizardly enough, don't you think?" Shaking his head to disperse the cloud, Star Swirl followed her onto the planet's surface.

"One day, maybe. Just you wait," Star Swirl said, stopping as Luna suddenly approached him, staring intently at his chin. A few seconds later, she shrugged, and began walking into the maze of rock.

"Heh. Keep dreaming, Swirly."

After a moment's pause, Star Swirl followed her.

***

Silver wasn't sure exactly when it had happened, but somewhere along the line her short term goals had changed. Initially she had been working with Celestia to try and save herself from the rapidly approaching meteor. Now she found herself working with Celestia to try and save herself from Celestia's ill-advised modifications to Silver's home. Surviving the collapsing ceiling long enough to be killed by the meteor would be an achievement in and of itself.

Leaping forwards as the room behind her collapsed, Silver found herself falling into a pit which a few moments ago had been covered up by a floor. And, a few moments later, a floor covered it once again. Landing onto the surprisingly sturdy platform which Celestia had managed to deploy beneath her, Silver allowed herself to take a moment to rest. It was highly unlikely that the ceiling in this part of her house was going to collapse now, mainly because it had already done so. On the plus side, she had an excellent view of the meteor.

Ss: So, Celestia. What have we learned today?

HD: Uh.

Ss: We learned that a building has certain walls that it really needs to have.

Ss: I hope that you will remember this when you are building my house many miles into the sky.

Ss: Or even when you're building it up to its original height.

HD: OK I GET IT, CALM DOWN!

HD: Seriously, you worry too much!

Ss: My house is collapsing.

Ss: A meteor is about to give me an even worse headache than your terrible excuses.

Ss: Exactly what would you recommend I do instead of worrying?

Ss: Drinking.

HD: DRINKING!

Ss: ;)

HD: ... bah.

Ss: Look, do we have enough grist to move all those machines onto this platform?

HD: I THINK SO...

Ss: Then do that, and then just try to save as much of my home as you can.

HD: OK, sure.

***

"It's strange, isn't it?" Star Swirl said, as he and Luna entered another empty clearing. "No sign of any consorts, and only a handful of underlings now and then. It's like the whole planet is... empty."

"You can't say that until we've seen the whole planet," Luna pointed out, randomly choosing one of the exits from the clearing and striding towards it. "Unless you're assuming that the entire planet is exactly like this, with the same population density and the same terrain and climate. That would just be highly unrealistic."

"Well, you say that, but that's how it was on my planet," Star Swirl reminded her.

"Just how many corners did you cut when you were making this game?" Luna asked, turning around sharply and heading back into the clearing as she realised that the exit was a dead end.

"I keep telling you that I didn't make this game," Star Swirl said wearily, walking towards the one remaining exit that Luna hadn't chosen. "If I had, I probably wouldn't have included the giant meteor that kills you if you're not quick enough. And also the gate progression would probably make sense." He paused, and waited for Luna to realise that her second choice was also a dead end. "All I did was make it compatible with our computers."

"How does that even work? How are you supposed to do that without understanding what the game does?"

"With all due respect, Luna, even I find the explanation boring. You don't want to know." Star Swirl shook his head as he recalled the late nights and catastrophic failures that had been involved in his work. "Let's just say I had to go through a lot of coffee."

"I thought you didn't like coffee."

"I don't."

***

0:30

Completely not panicking, Silver inspected the tiny round blob of purple cruxite which the game had presented to her.

Ss: OK, let's see what we've got here. This is... uh.

Ss: What the hell is this supposed to be?

HD: IT'S A CRUXITE ARTIFACT!

Ss: You are just so helpful today.

Ss: What's with that?

HD: I'm sorry for trying to help.

HD: :P

Ss: You are not helpful. Ever.

HD: But what about that one time when-

Ss: Never. Helpful. You.

Ss: If you want to refute that claim, take it up with my house.

Ss: What's left of it, anyway.

HD: I ALREADY APOLOGISED FOR THAT!

Ss: Whatever. I need to figure out what this thing is.

"Any ideas?" Silver said, aiming the question at the rapidly flashing sphere which now looked kind of like a pair of dice. For obvious reasons the sphere said nothing, but instead it drifted down to the floor below. Seemingly excited by a particular portion of rubble, it bounced up and down and made annoying noises for several seconds. There wasn't, as far as Silver could see, anything particularly special about it.

Ss: Hey, can you see what's under that bit of the ceiling? The bit that my kernelsprite seems all excited about.

HD: Yes. BUT ONLY BECAUSE I AM SORRY ABOUT DESTROYING YOUR HOUSE.

Ss: Noted.

Almost immediately, she saw what the kernelsprite was trying to show her - one of her plants, smashed almost beyond recognition. Her plant was important somehow. Again, she inspected the small round artifact. Plants. Hm.

***

After Luna had given him the game, Golden hadn't been able to talk to any of the others. They had all been too busy. Whatever the game was about, it was apparently serious business. Even Silver...

This was fine, of course. It wasn't like there was any reason why Silver should have had a different reaction to the others. Of course.

Sometimes, Golden wondered just who he was fooling.

[heliacalDreamer began pestering eclecticSage]

HD: Hey Golden.

ES: HEY CELESTIA

HD: ARE YOU READY TO PLAY A GAME!?!?

ES: uh, sure

ES: just to clarify, this is the game luna gave me earlier, right?

HD: Yes it is, and now that I've gotten Silver in it's your turn to help me!

HD: :D

ES: then YEAH, let's do this

HD: I think you should know, this game is quite literally...

HD: A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH!

ES: ooh

ES: wait, SERIOUSLY

HD: Uhuh.

HD: WHICH MEANS...

HD: My life is literally in your hooves.

HD: CAN YOU HANDLE IT?!?

ES: i'll try

HD: Well, that's good enough.

ES: ^^

HD: LET'S DO THIS!!!!

Finally, it was his turn to see what all the fuss was about. Although, if it really was as serious as Celestia was implying, Golden supposed he could probably accept how preoccupied with it his friends had been.

***

"Yeah, if it's all the same to you... I'm going to stick with my theory that there are no consorts anywhere on the planet," Star Swirl said, as he inspected the group of iguana skeletons that the two ponies had stumbled across. "No living ones, anyway."

"Well, if you can say that all the consorts are dead, just because you found some dead consorts, then this game is officially stupid." Luna was annoyed, not least because her planet was terrible in every single way. It was also annoying that they had made almost no progress, mainly because a lot of time they had been moving very slowly due to the large dark clouds severely hindering their journey. Whenever a cloud was around them, she could do nothing but follow the glowing ball of light that was Star Swirl. Luna had no idea how she would have managed without him. That was something else which annoyed her. Surely sooner or later it would be her turn to be helping everyone?

"Hey, I don't know how much I can claim to know about the way the planets work in this game, because I don't know how well my planet can be used as a baseline. All I know is that my planet was pretty much the same everywhere I've gone so far." Magically picking up a few stone slabs which surrounded the dead consorts, he sent one towards Luna. "Have a look at that, it might have some information about what your quest is - since there's no one alive to explain it." Luna picked up the slab, and attempted to read the badly carved letters.

hey luna

not sure what to say

youve got to use your powers to

idk

fix all the bad stuff i guess

but apparently you wont fix it in time and well be dead

so i have to write this down

cant write that well sorry

something about nyx

shes important i think

i guess you could just fly around until you see something

because you can do that i think

i wish i could fly

it would be so much more fun than not flying

probably

you would know more about that than me

so anyway

have fun and stuff

from jim

"Nothing useful," Star Swirl said, putting the slab he was holding down. "I skipped most of it, but I think it was a shipfic from a fandom I don't recognise. What about yours?"

"It's a letter to me," Luna said slowly. "From a dead iguana called Jim."

"Huh." Star Swirl thought about that for a moment. "Cool. Did he have anything useful to say?"

"Not in the slightest."

***

Placing the totem onto the alchemiter, Celestia watched as a solid white ellipse was formed in the middle of the platform. Stepping towards it, she paused, surprised to see herself staring back from its surface.

HD: A mirror, eh?

ES: hm

ES: what do you have to do with that?

HD: OH, I WONDER.

Although the artifact was made of solid white cruxite, it was still somehow usable as a mirror - albeit one that reduced any reflected images to white separated by black outlines. It was a good thing that her artifact was so obvious, Celestia reflected. She only had a little over a minute left.

HD: So, before I can do that, I just need to quickly prototype the kernelsprite with something.

ES: i swear half of these words you're using aren't the proper terms

ES: you're just messing with me

HD: IF ONLY!

HD: Star Swirl has some imagination, I'll give him that.

ES: so... WHAT are you going to use?

That was a good question, Celestia thought, as she looked around her home. Anything would do, as long as it wasn't something that wouldn't do. Glancing around, and settling on the first thing which came into view, Celestia triumphantly held up a large fluffy feather. One expensive transformation sequence later, and the feather and kernelsprite had become one.

ES: heh, i guess that works

HD: :D

HD: Now, time to break this mirror.

ES: isn't that BAD LUCK or something?

At that moment, Celestia was distracted by her door being forced open. Turning quickly to face the intruders, she was relatively surprised to see members of the Canterlot Civil Protection standing in her doorway.

"Excuse me miss, but we need you to leave the building," one of them said in as calm a voice as he could manage. He was still rather shaken up by the huge-ass meteor flying towards his current position. "For your own safety."

HD: YOU'RE BAD LUCK.

ES: eep

HD: Well, I'll go take care of these guys. BRB!

ES: wait what

[heliacalDreamer ceased pestering eclecticSage]

***

The Land of Souls and Spirit was a strange place. The entire planet seemed to be designed like a cathedral. Cliffs and mountains were intricately designed structures, lined with gargoyles and stained glass windows and many other things which require research to properly name. It was a fascinating design for a planet, although the architecture seemed a little over the top when it was literally everywhere. On the plus side, there was no end of landmarks that Silver could use for navigation. Countless spires could be seen in the distance - because the entire planet looked like it had been built, the actual buildings needed to be noticeably larger and more impressive. It was towards one of these buildings that Silver was now making her way, currently walking down a long stretch of ground flanked on either side by trees. Or at least, that's what it would have been anywhere else. On LOsAS, it translated into a series of arches arranged in a long corridor. It was difficult to see exactly where there was tree and where there was stonework, with the building seemingly emerging from within the tree.

Whatever the deal with this planet was, Silver doubted it would stand up under closer inspection. So, for the time being at least, she decided to not question the planet too much. Instead, she continued her journey across the planet. It was a nice day, and the temperature wasn't too stupidly high or low. And yet, she couldn't shake the feeling that somewhere, somehow, she was being watched...

***

"You can't be serious," Celestia said, as she reluctantly allowed the guards to drag her out of her home. "Why is this happening?"

"Now settle down there," Pony Joe assured her, as he helped her to her feet. "Everything's under control. You're safe now."

"Joe, you're a nice guy, and I appreciate the help, but you don't have any idea what you're talking about," Celestia said absently, as she and Joe were pushed away from her home with the rest of the gathered crowd. Apparently incoming meteors were something of a spectacle, especially after everyone had been woken up by the rock which had hit Star Swirl's house. "I need to get back in there!" Joe shook his head firmly.

"Sorry Celestia, but that isn't an option. That thing is moments away from hitting-"

"It's exactly 46 seconds away," Celestia stated, weighing up her options. She could probably make it to her front door before the guards noticed, but if they caught up to her then that would be that. If she was going to make a move, it had to be now while she was still close enough to make it. And Joe was a rogue element; she couldn't count on him not trying to be a hero and stop her from leaving. "I just need to get one thing, that's all."

"I can't let you do that. Nothing is worth the risk," Joe replied flatly, and at that point Celestia knew that he wasn't going to change his position. Or at least, not in the time she had left. "You know that I care about you too much." That did it, Celestia decided. If he was going to bring out the emotional attachment card, then that was the end of the discussion.

"Joe, please don't take this personally," she said, as she kicked him hard in the face, causing the unicorn to stumble backwards. "You're just too nice for your own good." Leaping over the fence, and quickly weaving around the guards, Celestia sprinted back towards her house. She considered locking the door, but the angry shouts behind her gave the impression that doing so wouldn't help. She had to finish this, now.

Rushing towards her computer, she grabbed hold of the white cruxite mirror. A black and white image of herself and the room behind her was reflected out of its surface, including the door which was flung open to reveal several guards and a rather frustrated Pony Joe.

0:12

"Celestia," Joe said, taking a step backwards. "Come on, let's go." Celestia paused, as if thinking about it. Then she shrugged.

"I'd argue, but then you wouldn't have time to get away," Celestia said, considering the mirror in her hooves. "I'll see you around, Joe."

"Wai-" Any last words were interrupted as Celestia tossed the mirror downwards, shattering it into a thousand pieces. And, with that, Celestia and her entire house was transportalised to another dimension entirely. A few more seconds of staring in shock later, Joe came to his senses, as he and the guards turned and sprinted away from where her home had until recently been located. Several seconds later, the entire area was engulfed in flame.

Chapter 23

View Online

[amniomorphicWizard began pestering eclecticSage]

AW: Hello there, my good man!

ES: oh, HEY

ES: what's up?

AW: A giant meteor.

AW: Therefore, time is very much of the essence.

ES: ah

ES: that's probably a good idea

AW: Eheheh.

AW: Well then, let's get started!

ES: OK

***

"Whew. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?" Celestia wondered aloud. Unfortunately, it sounded like no one was around. That or they just didn't get the joke. Even so, that didn't change the fact that it was very hot. Staggering over to the door and letting herself out, Celestia groaned in annoyance as the temperature only seemed to go up. This was stupid. And, ignoring the heat, why was everything so red? Everywhere she looked, the land was a bright red that assaulted her eyes and gave her a headache. This was just like that Doctor Whooves episode with the spaceship crashing into a star, except without the maths jokes and with slightly less pop culture references. "Seriously. What the hell. Why couldn't I get a normal planet like Silver? Her planet's quirk is that everything looks like a cathedral. That's better than a terrible environment any day of the week." Squinting through the glare of the heat, Celestia attempted to make some sense of her surroundings.

Despite the orange glare that covered everything, she could see that the planet was very mountainous. Huge barriers of rock surrounded her home on all sides, as did a small lake that her house had been deposited next to. As mentioned, everything was bathed in a red light, and it was swelteringly hot. How the planet sustained liquid water, Celestia had no clue. Unless the lake wasn't water, which would be just her luck.

"Great, I get the furnace planet. I can't wait to get into fights and get even more worn out and tired. Yay." Even if her enthusiasm was being faked, there was no point in sitting around doing nothing - especially since the inside wasn't much better than the outside. Grabbing her staff, Celestia strode out into the searing heat.

***

[midnightEclipse began pestering suspiciousSeraphim(Ss)]

ME: Hey.

Taking a moment to answer her friend, Silver sat down in the shelter of what seemed to be a bell tower. After a fairly successful quest, she was currently returning home to make use of her hard earned grist.

Ss: Hi Luna!

ME: Having fun, are we?

Ss: Yeah, but I have to say...

Ss: This adventuring really tires you out. :(

ME: You should rest.

Ss: I was going to! I'm just heading home now.

ME: Good. And while you're resting, maybe you could see your way to building my house up some more? It's kind of important.

Ss: Oh, right! Sorry, I completely forgot I had to do that.

ME: I noticed. Never mind though, we just stopped at my house while Swirly gets Golden into the game.

Ss: Oh, so Golden's entering right now?

Ss: I think I'll go see him once he gets in.

ME: Good idea. Then me and Swirly can meet up with Cel.

Ss: Oh yeah, she's also in now, isn't she.

Ss: Now that I think about it, I haven't heard from Celestia since she got in. Is she doing OK?

ME: If I know my sister, she's doing fine.

Ss: D'aw.

Ss: No matter how you might try to downplay it, you DO care about your sister!

Ss: It's kind of sweet how you believe in her like that.

ME: Not really.

ME: It's more that if she wasn't doing fine, we'd never hear the end of it.

Ss: ... ah.

ME: Heh.

ME: So, how are you doing? Is everything going fine?

Ss: Absolutely. This game is awesome!

ME: Yeah, it really is.

ME: I just want to know how we leave.

Ss: What?

ME: Well. When we're done with this game, and we've finished our quests...

ME: How do we get back home?

Ss: ... hm.

Ss: Doesn't Star Swirl know?

ME: Swirly knows jack shit about this game.

ME: He's lucky I don't give him a piece of my mind about that fact.

Ss: Aw, but you'd never do that to "Swirly", would you?

ME: ...

Ss: D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

ME: One more word and I will shoot you.

Ss: D'aw isn't a word, it's a sound effect. It's the sound you make when you see something adorable. Like you and Star Swirl.

ME: Urgh...

ME: Well, have fun. I suppose I'll talk to you later, once I've forgiven you.

ME: If I forgive you.

Ss: Bye! ;D

[midnightEclipse ceased pestering suspiciousSeraphim (Ss)]

***

ES: listen

Quickly throwing himself to one side, Golden narrowly avoided another swipe from his irritable kernelsprite.

ES: i don't like you very much

AW: Oh come on, how the fuck was I supposed to predict that this would happen?

ES: i have many, MANY pointless objects

ES: why did you have to use a LION

AW: It was just a lion's paw. Why the fuck do you even have something like that lion around the place.

ES: ...

AW: lying*

AW: I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me.

ES: it was just one of the random trophies my dad kept around the place

AW: Your dad killed a lion?

ES: no

ES: i don't THINK so, anyway. i don't know where he got the thing

ES: all i know is that now, thanks to SOMEPONY, i have a really cranky and territorial kernelsprite

Having forced Golden an acceptable distance away, the kernelsprite had returned to patrolling its 'territory'. This was unfortunate, because its territory apparently included the cruxtruder and totem lathe, which were crucial to success.

AW: OK, fine. Isn't there anything we can do?

ES: i don't know, GENIUS, you tell me

AW: Jegus, I said I was sorry.

AW: Maybe we can prototype it twice?

AW: Maybe with something that will make it a bit nicer towards you?

ES: like what?

AW: I don't know, that's a tough one. Can you think of anything that likes you?

ES: ...

AW: And Silver doesn't count, we can't use her. For one thing, she's in a different universe right now.

ES: ha. ha. ha. that's just SO funny

AW: But seriously. That's probably our only option for getting the kernelsprite to let you pass.

ES: ah, let me think...

ES: OK, right. you see in the living room? Down the stairs, and through the door on the right?

AW: Hang on, I'm going, I'm... uh. Golden? Who the fuck is this?

ES: it's my aunt

AW: Does your aunt normally go to sleep standing up with her eyes open?

AW: On a plinth?

ES: she's dead, smartass

ES: can you use her

AW: Isn't that... uh. Isn't that a little disrespectful?

ES: isn't that MY decision?

AW: Why do you have a dead aunt in your living room?

ES: family custom, no big deal. now are you going to stand there and bitch about it or are you actually going to HELP!?

AW: ... OK man, but this was your idea.

***

As terrible as her environment was, Celestia was beginning to grow accustomed to the searing heat. This was helped by her discovery that all the consorts lived inside the mountains, in the relatively cool caverns that were out of the glare of... what, exactly? Skaia wasn't causing the same environment on any other planet, so what was in the sky making so much heat? It probably wasn't even for any good reason, Celestia decided, but at least it was cooler underground. And her crocodile consorts had taught her many things about her planet, such as its name. It was the Land of Warmth and Frogs, although personally Celestia felt that the Land of Boiling Heat and Aggravation was a better name. Apparently, she needed to journey across her planet, both over and under, in search of the bringers of the Glorious Speaker. Whatever that meant.

Although their caverns were vastly preferable to the stupid temperatures of the surface, the crocodiles were beginning to unnerve Celestia. The way that some of them worshipped her, almost like she was their leader, was starting to get under her skin. And why did they insist on calling her 'Mage'? She wasn't a unicorn, and she couldn't use any magic. She had a staff, but that was about it. It wasn't even a wizardly staff. Her staff was purely for stabs. Regardless, one of the locals had taken to following her around and giving advice on whatever puzzle she was currently dealing with. Apparently his name was Lector, although frankly Celestia was dubious of that. Still, she supposed she could allow him to tag along for the time being.

She just wished that he would take the detective hat off.

***

AW: I can't believe that worked.

ES: you're lucky it did

AW: No, you're lucky it did. Now hurry up and do the rest of it. I've done my part down to the letter.

ES: WHATEVER

Although he could now access the machines, it was very difficult to ignore the lion/elderly pegasus hybrid he had created. Especially since it didn't look quite like a simple lion/pegasus. There were half parts of other things, like a huge fang and gog knew what else. Realising that he was completely failing to ignore the kernelsprite, and forcing himself to look away, Golden set about doing what has already happened many times over. He did this for quite a while, before...

0:30

ES: right, let's just take a quick summary of my situation

ES: thirty seconds on the clock

ES: the kernelsprite is taken care of

ES: somewhat less taken care of is this thing

ES: whatever it is

AW: I think it's a sphere.

ES: no shit, really? that clears that up then, that's obvious

ES: i mean, WHAT ELSE do you do with a sphere

AW: No need to be a dick, I'm just trying to help.

ES: thanks for that

ES: you're helping

Turning the orb over in his hooves, Golden considered his options. The others had all given brief explanations of their 'puzzles', such as they were. Star Swirl had written and sealed a scroll, Luna had put a butterfly in a jar, Silver had planted a seed, Celestia had broken a mirror... and he had a smooth, perfect sphere. He tapped it absently, and it made a clear ringing noise.

ES: well, there IS one pretty obvious course of action

AW: Oh, yes, obviously.

AW: ...

AW: Which is?

ES: ima smash this thing

AW: Oh, right.

AW: Do that, then.

So he did.

[eclecticSage ceased being pestered by amniomorphicWizard]

AW: Golden?

AW: OK, there was some time left on the timer, so if you're gone already then I'm going to guess you got it right.

AW: Or you really, really suck.

AW: Well, back to questing I guess. Let me know when you get in, old boy!

***

"It's... just a frog?" Celestia asked, a little confused about exactly why she had spent the last hour running back and forth for this stupid puzzle, only to receive a frog as her reward. It wasn't even a particularly healthy looking frog. "There had better be a damn good reason for this." She offered the amphibian to her crocodile partner, who gaped in amazement - or at least, as much as a crocodile can be said to gape. "Lector?"

"Just a frog? Just? To label it with such an unassuming title is to belittle the bringer of our salvation, O Mage!" After listening to such unnecessarily obnoxious sentences for the better part of an hour, Celestia was beginning to tire of her reptilian friend. "This frog, and the others we will uncover, are precious beings that you must keep safe! For without them, all is lost!"

"Uhuh. Precious cargo, got it." Snatching up the frog and tossing it into her Russian Roulette modus, Celestia looked around in the vain hope that this wasn't a dead end. "So, why do I need frogs?"

"Because these frogs are key to your purpose here! These frogs are the only thing standing between us and destruction! These frogs are-" Lector was interrupted by a hoof to the face, causing him to fly backwards onto the ground.

"Yeah, I get that. The frogs are important. I want to know WHY. WHY are they important, and exactly what is my purpose?"

"Ah, of course, my Mage. You have several tasks to complete on LOWAB..." Celestia strode past him, not waiting for the crocodile to catch up. He quickly rushed after her, continuing his explanation as they went. "First, you must find and ignite the Forge! This will cause a transformation that will make the surface of LOWAB fit for your other tasks. Second, you must find and release the frogs from their prisons around the planet! There are many thousands of frogs trapped in a huge underground cavern - for their own safety, of course - that you must free and release onto the surface! And finally, once the frogs are in place, you may begin your one true task, the task for which you were born, the task that-" Celestia paused and raised a hoof threateningly. "Uh, that is, you can start breeding." The hoof didn't lower, but instead struck Lector once again.

"So my purpose in life is breeding? Real smooth, smartass."

"Ah, no, wait! I meant, uh, I meant that you can start to breed the frogs!" Lector blurted out, as he cautiously stood up, fully expecting to be reunited with the ground at any moment. "Your purpose is to breed the frogs together until you create the Glorious Speaker. Which is the, um, ultimate frog? I guess you could call it that."

"... huh." Celestia stood in silence, as she took in what Lector had told her. "Well, that's... original. Star Swirl has some imagination, I'll give him that."

***

"I'm not usually one to say this, but..." Luna began, rapidly firing three arrows in quick succession. Half a moment later, three imps dropped dead. "We're kind of kicking ass here." Oblivious to the ogre behind her, she grinned at Star Swirl. "Don't you think?"

"I think you should get out of the way," Star Swirl said, sending a huge pulse of magic directly at his friend. Barely leaping out of the way in time, Luna spun around angrily, only to see the Tar Ogre knocked backwards by the blast. "Either that, or stop making it so easy for them to surround you." Another of Luna's arrows flew through the air, this time narrowly avoiding Star Swirl's head. It completely failed to miss the basilisk behind him, although that could be considered something of a success. "Uh. Yeah, I'll stop talking now."

"That's what I thought," Luna said, smirking, as she quickly made her way back to Star Swirl. "But like I said, we're awesome at this game. It won't be long now until we get to the end of my quests."

"I suppose. I still have my own planet to take care of."

"Well, I'll help you with that since I owe you," Luna said. "And then what? Do we know what the point of this game is yet?"

"The short answer is no. Your sprite is a fucking pie. It can't talk. And mine is semi-psychotic." Star Swirl sighed, and decided to continue their slow pace through the maze. Luna followed a short distance behind him. "The long answer... I've been piecing together parts from all the vague clues we've gotten. And I don't like what I've found." Although she was behind him, Star Swirl could almost hear Luna's quizzical expression. "If I'm right, then it doesn't matter what the point of this game is. It makes no difference if we're saving a Universe, or destroying one, or whatever the stupid half riddles about a cycle is supposed to mean. I've been getting the impression that, one way or another, we're going to fail. Like it's a foregone conclusion."

"That's a little depressing, don't you think?" Luna asked. "Maybe the reason we supposedly fail is that we stop trying because somepony in our group convinced us that there was no point." Thinking about that logic hurt Star Swirl's brain, but he took the point.

"Who said anything about giving up? I just wish there was some actual concrete advice we could follow. At least that way we could-" he stopped, and Luna was able to catch up to where he was standing. In front of them stood a pony unlike anything either of them had ever seen. He was a grey colt, and was wearing what appeared to be bright green pyjamas. But the most striking thing about his appearance was that he was...

"A horned pegasus!?" Luna exclaimed, drawing confused looks from both Star Swirl and the mysterious pony in question.

"What are you talking about?" Star Swirl asked. "He's a winged unicorn."

"Shut up, both of you," the winged and horned earth pony snapped, with a look in his eyes that suggested he had heard this argument far too many times before. "We are not here to debate taxonomy, however fascinating a discussion that would be. Nor are we here to ask inane questions about who I am or what I want. We are here because I have finally cornered you, and you are about to get served like this is the Land of Butlers and Islands." Mild grinned evilly. "Understand?"

"You what?" Star Swirl asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice. "First of all, whoever you are, we've been wandering around this maze for hours - grounded, because Luna's stuck to walking with me. Whereas you can fly where you please. You 'finally' cornered us? How long does it take to find two ponies in an otherwise empty maze when you can fly? Second of all, what the hell is your problem? We don't know you, and you don't know us, but for some reason you want to fight us now? What did we ever do to you? And finally," Star Swirl paused here, nodding at Luna. Retrieving a few dozen enchantments from his sylladex and sharing them between himself and Luna, Star Swirl quickly threw down a magic circle around the two of them. "And finally, if you think you're going to take us down, then you clearly have no idea who you're fucking with."

And then all hell broke loose.

***

"I'll just jump to Celestia's planet, see if she needs any help, and then head straight over to see Golden," Silver had told herself as she stepped through her gate.

Several confused seconds later, and Silver found herself blinking away the light which was forcing its way into her eyes. Why the fuck was it so bright? And so hot, for that matter? Growing accustomed to the light, Silver was finally able to actually look around Celestia's planet from her vantage point on top of her house. Stretched out before her, mountains extended for miles in all directions, seemingly following curves emanating from the central point of Celestia's house. The mountain range spiralled outwards from this point, eventually lowering to ground level. At ground level, Silver could see nothing but desert. Celestia's planet wasn't especially hospitable, that was for sure. Briefly, Silver considered sticking to her original plan.

"Well, if Celestia really wanted help, she knows that she just has to ask," Silver said slowly, quickly scanning her surroundings for any sign of Celestia. "I wouldn't be doing her - or me - any favours by spending hours stumbling through this desert. Maybe I should just go and visit Golden..." Finding no sign of Celestia, Silver nodded to herself as she climbed higher up the building to the next gate. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."

***

It hadn't been long before he had taken the pegasus out, but that hadn't done Mild any favours. If anything, the unicorn's attacks had gotten faster and more powerful. Still, as he danced around the fireballs and magical explosions, Mild drew ever closer to Star Swirl, knife at the ready. Leaping around him, then turning ready to stab forwards, Mild paused in shock for a moment as he found empty air where Star Swirl should have been. Another moment, and the back of his head exploded. Angrily picking himself up, Mild finally saw where Star Swirl had gone - he had teleported on top of a large stone pillar, from which he was raining hellfire upon the Thief. While normally a thief would have the advantage over a wizard, it really wasn't worth this much trouble. Flying into the air, and using his own magic for once, Mild sent one large beam of energy in Star Swirl's general direction, collapsing the stone pillar and sending the unicorn tumbling down. And with that, Mild turned and flew off into the Medium. There were more important matters to take care of.

Back on the surface of Luna's planet, Star Swirl lay panting in exhaustion, his last minute shield taking most of his remaining energy. It was a good thing that he had made all of those enchantments, or he would never have been able to hold out for so long. Not that he had won, of course. Maybe next... oh... oh gog. All thoughts left him, as he suddenly noticed Luna. She was lying on her side, still in the same place that she had fallen. Her eyes were closed, and she had long since passed the healthy amount of stab wounds. She... she wasn't... oh gog. Fuck.

At any other moment, Star Swirl would have rushed up to his friend, checked her pulse, attempted to stop the bleeding. A few pointless minutes of begging her not to die would probably have been part of the proceedings. But all he could do was collapse on the ground next to her, staring uselessly at her as he tried to make sense of what had happened. Who the fuck had that been, and what the fuck was his problem? Fuck. Where had he even come from? Fuck! The only thing Star Swirl understood was that he needed to decide on his next move. The decision was made very quickly, as both he and himself unanimously agreed that the best thing to do was to stay right the fuck here and to not do anything. That was it. Luna was dead. He was done. Maybe he should say a few words? Even that basic display of respect seemed stupid. What would that even achieve. She certainly couldn't hear him, and nopony else could.

"Luna... I." He hesitated, the words stubbornly refusing to be said. "I'm sorry." Best to start with the basics, he supposed. "For a lot of things, I guess. I'm sorry I even made this stupid game. I'm sorry I brought you into it, and I'm sorry that I... that I let this happen to you." Is that it, his brain asked him meaningfully. Is that all you have to say to one of your best friends? No it fucking isn't. "I know that we said a lot of stuff, and a lot of it was just meaningless rubbish. And I never did know if you ever... if you actually meant any of the things we used to joke about." And now you're never going to know, jackass. "But I. Uh." Don't worry, she won't judge you. Or maybe can't would be a better word. "Luna, I... is... that Piesprite?" Don't change the fucking sub- oh wait, yeah it is. Huh.

Star Swirl watched in mild confusion as the glowing blue pie drifted towards him. It didn't say anything, or have any eyes, but Star Swirl could have sworn that it was trying to tell him something. Slowly forcing himself to stand up, he looked quizzically at the pie. The pie looked down at Luna. Or rather, the pie gave him a very strong impression that Luna was the subject of its attention. Absently, Star Swirl wondered what kind of pie it was. Probably apple. Apple pies were pretty great, he supposed. What else would you even put in a pie. Regardless, he was rather taken aback when a beam of blue light shot out of Piesprite, and enveloped Luna. After a few seconds, the ball of light containing Luna lifted, and then began moving as Piesprite headed further into the maze. Star Swirl watched in bemusement as his dead friend was guided through a dark stone maze by a glowing pie, before shrugging and chasing after the wandering pastry.

Man, you just got upstaged by a pie. That's pretty tough to do, you must have been practicing. Silencing his mutinous brain, Star Swirl tried to focus on the path that he and the pie were taking through the planet. It wasn't the direction he and Luna had been heading in, or the way they had walked, but it seemed as if they were heading towards the mountain range that bordered the maze. What the pie planned to do when they got there, he didn't know. Maybe it had a plan for helping Luna? It's a fucking PIE.

"You are her assistant, correct?"

Who said that? Turning around, but finding no one, Star Swirl continued following the pie. Where had that voice come from?

"I mean you no harm. Speak."

There it was again. It had a strange quality to it, almost sounding as though it was inside his head. But not in the same way that his smartass brain was. I take offence to that, by the way. Wait, it wasn't-

"Piesprite?" Star Swirl asked, fully aware that he was trying to talk to a pie. A floating glowing ghost pie, but a pie nonetheless.

"I am here, Seer."

"Uh. OK," Star Swirl said. So the pie could talk after all. That was certainly unexpected. "Where are we going?"

"My charge has fallen. It is my duty to undo that error."

"So you're going to save Luna? You can do that?"

"No. Only she can help herself now. I am merely facilitating that process. We are journeying to the most sacred place of this world, where the Maid will commence the next stage of her trials." For a pie, it was suspiciously good at giving vague and unhelpful riddles.

"Ah. OK. Thanks for clearing that up." Several minutes passed in silence. "Uh, Piesprite, if you don't mind me asking... what kind of pie are you?" Another few minutes of silence. Nicely done.

"I believe that I am an apple pie," Piesprite replied calmly. "What else would you even put in a pie?"

"Point taken."

***

"Wait up a minute, Lector," Celestia called after her crocodile companion. "I just need to talk to somepony. I figure that Golden must have gotten in by now, he'll probably find all of this interesting." Pausing for a moment, she closed her eyes and attempted to retrieve her laptop. A few very tense moments later, it popped out of her sylladex and into her hooves.

[heliacalDreamer began pestering eclecticSage]

HD: HEY GOLDEN!

ES: hey celestia

ES: what's going on?

HD: I've just been learning about my quest.

HD: IT SUCKS.

ES: aw, WHY?

HD: My job is to go and find frogs, then to breed those frogs together, until I create the ultimate frog.

HD: THE FROG GOD.

ES: WOW

ES: that sounds pretty important

HD: It sounds pretty stupid.

ES: it's not THAT bad

HD: :/

HD: Well it's stupid and I don't like it.

HD: NEVER MIND THAT THOUGH!

HD: What's going on with you?

ES: i just got into the game

ES: i'm probably going to head out in a little bit

ES: are you playing by yourself?

HD: YEAH.

HD: Well, actually, I've got this crocodile following me around and kind of helping I guess.

HD: BUT HE'S ANNOYING ME!

ES: ^^

HD: Bah.

ES: so ANYWAY

ES: i guess i should probably start getting my shit together

HD: HEH, YEAH!

HD: Oh, but first you want to use the GristTorrent CD to get that set up, otherwise all your hard work will be incredibly selfish!

ES: heheh, ok then

ES: i'll get right on that

ES: cya celestia

HD: BYE!

[heliacalDreamer ceased pestering eclecticSage]

"Heh. Good old Golden," Celestia noted, as she captchalogued her laptop again. "Anyway, let's get on with this nonsense." Lector nodded.

"I think I know where we can find the path to the Forge, O Mage. If you'll just follow me..." He turned and resumed his path through the winding tunnels. Celestia, after a moment of asking herself exactly what she was doing, followed.

***

Placing Luna onto her quest bed, Piesprite drifted back to Star Swirl's side. If it had a head, it would have nodded encouragingly.

"So what happens now? Do we just wait here?" Star Swirl asked, unnerved by the complete lack of any change.

"Yes. Soon the change will begin, and the Maid shall rise." Both of them fell silent after that, as Luna's bed began to glow a deep blue. Clouds of darkness swirled around them, rotating above Luna. And then there was a flash of light, and Luna was gone.

"I'm going to assume that went well," Star Swirl said, as he began the walk back to Luna's home.

***

"Hey Golden!" Silver called down, as she slowly and painfully picked herself up. Star Swirl hadn't built Golden's house particularly high up, and there was quite a distance between the gate she emerged from and the roof of the building. But she was here now, and that was the important thing. "I'm here!" But, where was that?

Golden's planet was covered in huge grassy fields, thick with hedges and water features. Here and there were huge statues, mainly of amphibians in heroic poses. Just as huge, but notably less heroic, underlings could also be seen lumbering across the planet. Dragging herself away from the view, Silver focused on the current objective of getting off of the roof. Looking around, she found herself faced with a large statue of a salamander holding a wizardly looking staff, and quickly leapt off of the roof onto it. Only later did she realise how stupid that was, but regardless the statue held firm as she clambered down it. By the time she had reached the bottom, Golden had noticed her efforts.

"Silver!" Golden said, smiling happily. "What are you doing here?"

"I can come and check up on my friends if I want, can't I?" Silver replied, as the two of them walked around his house. "Anyway, now that you're in, let's go get started already!"

"Yeah, OK. Let me just go get my strife deck..." Silver waited patiently, while Golden entered his house. Five minutes of muffled banging later, and he returned with an expression vaguely resembling triumph. "Heh. Got it."

"You're impossible," Silver said, shaking her head. "But never mind that, we've got a game to win!"

"As do I," a voice behind her said calmly. "The difference between us is that I'm better at it than you are." Turning slowly, Silver took a step away from the newcomer. Something about him gave her the feeling she'd met him before. Mild simply smiled. "Now, let's finish what I started."

Chapter 24

View Online

"Now, let's finish what I started," Mild said, drawing several knives out of his sylladex. Golden and Silver took a few cautious steps backwards, drawing their own weapons in preparation. Silver spun her axe around her a few times, testing its weight, reminding herself how it felt. It had been quite a while since the last time she had used it. Glancing to Golden, Silver saw that he was making similar preparations with his... uh.

"Golden? I mean this as politely as possible, but what the fuck is that?" Silver asked, not needing to gesture at the umbrella that Golden was weilding threateningly.

"It's an umbrella," Golden replied. And that, apparently, was that. There certainly wasn't time to debate his choice of weapon at that exact moment.

"Enough!" Mild snapped, reaching outwards with his powers and seizing control of Golden's mind. "I don't care what you use as a weapon. If it can kill your friend then it's good enough for me!" Silver slowly turned to face Golden, just in time to duck as his umbrella was violently jabbed towards her. Quickly rolling to her hooves, she turned again in time to parry his next attack.

"Golden, what are you-" Turning her axe sharply, Silver wrenched the umbrella out of his control and threw it to one side. "-doing!?" Almost as soon as she had finished the question, Golden's vacant expression faded into one of confusion.

"What? What's going on?" Another fraction of a second, and Mild's attention was focused on Silver instead. Golden barely managed to leap out of the way as Silver's axe missed him by mere inches. "Silver! Stop it!" Attempting to make his way towards his umbrella, Golden was forced backwards as Silver quickly cut him off. He turned to Mild, who was simply watching Silver intently. "What are you doing?"

"You'll thank me later," Mild said, as Golden barely ducked in time to keep his head. "I'm just tying up some loose ends." Before Golden could get to his hooves, Silver was above him, her axe about to swing down onto him. And then, suddenly, she was herself again, stumbling backwards as she dropped her axe in surprise.

"Wha- what did I... agh, my head..." As Silver stumbled around in her confusion, and Golden quickly stood up and helped her, Mild angrily tried to determine what had gone wrong. This had never happened before, so what was different? Luckily he didn't need to wonder for long, as the answer soon identified itself.

"It doesn't seem like tying up loose ends is your strong point," said the pony behind him. "Still, third time lucky, eh?" Turning angrily, Mild was both shocked and outraged to see the sight before him. "Then again, that assumes you live long enough to try again," Luna said.

A dark blue hood was draped over her head, but her horn could still be seen, revealing her for the horned pegasus that she had become. A black symbol on her dark blue cloak taunted Mild, who cursed his own carelessness. How had he let this happen? Angrily seizing control of both Golden and Silver, Mild sent both ponies charging towards Luna with their weapons drawn. And then, slowly, calmly, Luna did her Voidy thing, and the two ponies halted with bemused expressions. Realisation dawned on Mild, as a shiver ran down the back of his spine. This was not good.

"So, whoever you are..." Luna said, drawing her bow. "Are you feeling lucky?"

If Mild had an answer to that question, it was lost beneath the sound of thirty arrows being fired in half as many seconds, followed by a confused mixture of expletives as Mild escaped into the Medium.

***

The first thing that Star Swirl noticed as he arrived in the Land of Warmth and Frogs was that it was really, really uncomfortable. The second thing he noticed was that he couldn't see a thing in the glare reflected from the large lakes around Celestia's home. And then he noticed that he was being messaged by somepony he didn't recognise.

[fractalAbomination began pestering amniomorphicWizard]

FA: hey swirls

FA: i assume everything's going pretty much according to plan, yeah?

AW: Who are you?

FA: oh right, yeah

FA: time shit, forgot. ok, let me start again

FA: i'm from the future, relatively speaking. or at least, i assume i am

FA: the inverse could also be true

FA: the basic point is, your session is kind of screwed, and it's sort of my fault

FA: sorry about that

AW: You're not making an awful lot of sense, here.

AW: Why are we in trouble?

FA: i think you've already met him

AW: Ah.

FA: so yeah, his name is mild, and he's technically my responsibility

FA: but here's how this goes down. pretty soon we're all going to be all friendly and stuff

FA: and we'll be talking a lot, and making important progress and everything

FA: but before then, i need you to do something for me

AW: Do something for you.

AW: You, who is apparently the reason why my group is going to lose?

FA: well, not something for me

FA: something for the universe in general. both universes

FA: which is basically the same thing

FA: you're doing this for the good of the timeline

AW: ... fine.

AW: What is it?

FA: i need you to send me a message.

Over the next few minutes, the unknown pony gave rather detailed instruction to Star Swirl, until finally he prepared to leave.

FA: and that should be it

AW: I see. Very well.

AW: I will trust you for now.

FA: good. i'll speak to you later, but for now just continue succeeding for the time being

AW: It might be a little late for that. Luna has already died.

FA: yeah, but she ascended, didn't she?

AW: I believe so.

FA: then that was actually one of the best things that could have happened

AW: Oh? Then maybe this Mild character isn't so bad after all.

FA: oh no, he's a complete bastard

FA: he's just very incompetent

FA: anyway, just remember, no matter what past me says

FA: don't tell me anything about what's going on, on account of the fact that past me is even more of a bitch than future me

FA: future me is still a bitch, but the difference is that past me is dumber

AW: :D

FA: in fact, if past me asks if this is future me's doing, by which i mean my doing, which it is

FA: tell him that it isn't

FA: anyway, i have stuff to take care of, so yeah

FA: cya

AW: OK.

[fractalAbomination ceased pestering amniomorphicWizard]

Waiting for a few minutes as instructed, Star Swirl began a new conversation.

[amniomorphicWizard began pestering fractalAbomination]

AW: Hello, my good man.

AW: I've got a message from your future self, you said to pass it on.

He then proceeded to have a conversation which we have already seen, and which no one would gain anything from repeating.

***

"Wait, so you're from the when?" Golden asked, tilting his head quizzically. Comet rolled his eyes, not for the first time in the conversation, and certainly not for the last.

"The future, relative to you, relative to me. I'm also from the past, relative to me, relative to you. And very soon, I will be from the present, relative to both you and my past self. Past, that is, relative to me." One of the advantages to being a Page of Time was that all the tedious relations between time periods made perfect sense. The downside was that it was still very hard to explain to somepony who didn't have the initial advantage, and that was very frustrating. "The point is that I'm here, and I need your complete cooperation for the good of the timeline." A basilisk half heartedly attempted to ambush him, only to be killed before it could begin its battle cry.

Although his fighting ability was both impressive and appreciated, Silver was starting to wonder about this unicorn, who had suddenly appeared not long after Luna had left Golden's planet. Who was he?

"OK, so let's say we believe everything you've told us about Mild, and how your group has basically gotten everything wrong," Silver said, making an attempt to cooperate. "And that by the end of this, you lot will be pretty much depending on us for your own survival." Comet nodded. "Should you really be telling us? Doesn't that break a law of time or something?"

"Time doesn't have laws," Comet said. "It doesn't need them. Everything will happen the way it happens, regardless of what the assorted idiots of paradox space may try to derail destiny with. I used to think that I wouldn't need to say anything, but it turns out that I have to be here to get you guys to talk to us. If I left you to figure things out by your own devices, the time frames involved just wouldn't add up. It's as simple as that."

"So you want me to talk to this Mild guy and help him? After he tried to kill us?" Golden asked incredulously, with Silver nodding in agreement. "That doesn't seem like a good idea." Again, Comet rolled his eyes.

"A lot of things that we do aren't good ideas," Comet reasoned. "Among the worst ideas are those that conflict with what has already been observed to happen. Speaking of which, take this." Ten seconds of hurried calculations later, and the unicorn retrieved a small CD from his sylladex. Golden took it cautiously. "It's something of an upgrade, not entirely my own work. Still, it's hardly for commercial use, so whatever."

"What does it do?" Silver asked, as Golden retrieved his laptop. Comet just shrugged.

"Find out. Anyway, I'd love to stay, but I have at least 5 more conversations to trigger before the end of the day. Later." And with that, he strode off into the hills of the Land of Gardens and Statues.

"Do you have any idea what that was about?" Golden asked, to which Silver shook her head.

"Not a clue. I don't think he's lying, though. Or at least, he doesn't think he's lying. Which is hopefully the same thing." She gestured to the CD that Golden was hovering in front of him. "Are you going to try that out?"

"I might do. Not right now, though. I'm in no hurry to save the future, or protect the past, or whatever it is that we're supposed to be doing." Calmly placing the CD into his Solitaire modus, Golden pointed a hoof in the general direction of what appeared to be civilisation. "In any case, shall we?"

"Yeah," Silver nodded, and the two ponies began walking along the path, flanked on either side by hedges. "OK."

***

Travelling through the transportaliser that she, Golden, and Silver had found, Luna had emerged into a completely different area of the incipisphere. She was clearly not on any of the planets, or on Skaia, instead finding herself in some kind of laboratory surrouned on all sides by the pitch black darkness of the Medium. Interesting.

What was somewhat more interesting was the array of machinery which Luna had found. Several large pieces of equipment - a group of monitors arranged in a house shape; a large appearifier flanked by computer banks supporting large glass jars; and a large circular platform; were laid out around a large, otherwise empty room.

Approaching the monitors, Luna could now see the control panel beneath them, with a series of increasingly esoteric buttons. The most prominent to her seemed to be the four green buttons, which looked like they might correspond to the four monitors. Testing one, she found this hypothesis to be correct as the related monitor lit up. It displayed a green filly, who was currently using her laptop. Strange.

Deciding to turn her attention to more important matters, specifically the untested buttons, Luna pressed the large blue button in the centre of the control panel. A sudden outbreak of beeping and whirring drew her attention to the appearifier, which seemed fairly alarmed by her attempts to operate it. A few seconds of thinking later, and the machine deposited a solid green unicorn-shaped pile of sludge, which rapidly deformed into a solid green pile-shaped pile of sludge. Gravity was a bitch like that. Still, the brief glimpse of the unicorn had told Luna what the machine was doing - attempting to appearify the young filly displayed by the monitor. Another whirring sound alerted her to the rapidly flashing computer bank next to the sludge, and she watched as a small pipe collected the puddle of ectoslime and stored it in one of the glass jars. There were four jars, and four monitors. Luna could see where this was going.

Luna then switched to the remaining screens. The next one showed a red pegasus, who appeared to be dealing some serious damage with a very fancy sword. Duly pressing the button again, a green model of a pegasus with a very fancy sword appeared, which then promptly became a slightly less fancy puddle. The machine collected the slime all the same, just as it did for the grey earth pony who was also shown using his laptop. Activating the next monitor, Luna was struck not by the subject of the image, but by the surroundings. In the image was a thoroughly distraught teal unicorn she had never seen before, but she did recognise the pony he was talking to - Silver. Why was he talking to Silver, and where were they? Their surroundings seemed like a massive chessboard, except there were mountains in the distance. Hm.

Shrugging away the peculiar circumstances in which the teal unicorn was currently in, Luna went ahead and pressed the button anyway.

***

"There... you are..." Star Swirl managed, before collapsing from exhaustion. Celestia simply rolled her eyes. It wasn't THAT hot. "Why is your... your planet just so... terrible?"

"It's not terrible," Celestia replied, walking away slowly. Hurriedly picking himself up and trotting after her, Star Swirl gave her a look which suggested that he was not in the mood to be fucked around with. "It's the Land of Warmth and Frogs, I'll have you know."

"Warmth? This is warm? By the six, what does this game think is hot?" To his credit, Star Swirl had managed to find Celestia amidst the tangled web of tunnels. She supposed that was kind of impressive, although that was offset by his incessant whining. "And for that matter, why is it that both you and Luna have planets with stupid temperatures?"

"Doesn't matter," Celestia said dismissively. "Now come on, let's get going. We've got a volcano to erupt."

"Uh. OK..." Star Swirl said, unsure of how to take this news. "Not really the solution to the high temperature that I was hoping for, but I suppose we can work with that for now."

"Oh shush."

***

As he and Silver Edge hovered above the Battlefield, Mild tested the weight of the sceptre. Ten white orbs glistened back. The trade had been completed, although there was still one small matter to take care of.

"Well then, I'd say we've let them struggle in vain for long enough," Mild said. "Let's go and accelerate their doom a little, shall we?" He passed the sceptre to Silver to captchalogue. His own specibus was a little too haphazard to trust with something as important as this.

"Sure," Silver agreed, only half listening to her supposed partner. Mild frowned. Since they had entered this incipisphere from their native session, Silver had seemed preoccupied. Or, more specifically, since they had taken Golden from his dream room.

"Hey, Silver, uh. Are you feeling OK?" Mild asked, attemting to break through to her. "I just-"

"Don't," Silver interrupted. "Don't try and havea a heart to heart with me. Just don't." Shaking her head, she retrieved her axe and began flying down towards the White King below. "If you want to help make me feel better, save the kill for me."

"Noted."

***

After finishing various shenanigans with the ectobiology equipment, most of which is either too repetitive or too important to describe, Luna stepped back and inspected her handiwork. Seven foals stared back at her, some with expressions of confusion, and some with thoughtful expressions that suggested they were already terrifyingly aware of what was going on. The one thing they all had in common was that they were adorable and it was taking all of Luna's self control to not hug all of them. D'aw.

One foal in particular had captured her attention. It looked almost exactly like a baby version of Silver. And, through the course of her shenanigans, Luna had come to realise that the foal could very well be exactly that. She didn't entirely understand why that was, or how it worked, but if that was the case...

If that was the case, then what about the six unidentified fillies who were staring up at her expectantly? Luna wasn't so sure about them, although she certainly had an idea. Most of her evidence was circumstantial, but she doubted that it was a coincidence that she had created a purple unicorn, a yellow pegasus, a pink earth pony, a white unicorn, an orange earth pony, and a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane. Probably not a coincidence.

[midnightEclipse began pestering amniomorphicWizard]

ME: Hey Swirly.

AW: Luna!

AW: How are you doing?

ME: I'm fine. Thanks for checking up on me to see how I'm feeling after being brutally murdered.

AW: But, uh. I didn't. You contacted me...

ME: I know.

AW: ... sorry about that.

ME: Heh, don't worry! Who even cares? That's in the past.

ME: This is the present! And me, in the present, has just stumbled across the most adorable little foals you will ever see.

ME: I cannot tell you how much I need to hug them. They are just... so... cute...

ME: :)

AW: Hm. It can't be good to leave children lying around here.

AW: This game, ironically enough, is no place for foals.

ME: Oh, nothing's going to happen to them.

ME: Because I am staying right here and looking after them forever.

AW: :/

ME: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

AW: What?

ME: Little Fluttershy just sneezed!

ME: You have no idea how cute that was. Oh gog, I nearly died.

ME: I seriously need to hug something. Right now.

AW: I'll be right over.

ME: xD

AW: Eheh. But seriously, did you say little Fluttershy?

ME: Oh yeah, I should probably have mentioned that. These fillies just so happen to be the six founders of Equestria.

ME: Only with less historical significance and way more cute.

AW: ... right.

ME: So as it turns out, if we hadn't played this game, I would never have found this place and the founders of Equestria would have never existed.

AW: Blimey.

ME: Blimey is right! Of course, the natural extension of this is that the game will send them back in time.

AW: How is that natural? And, for that matter, why is it so impossible that you've just made clones of the founders? Instead of actually having literally created the founders, who will then be sent back in time to live their lives?

AW: You're making a lot of assumptions that just don't seem logical.

ME: Well, I could explain my logic, but part of my logic tells me that I shouldn't.

ME: Sorry.

AW: I suppose I can live with that. So what are you going to do now?

ME: I'm going to wait here until they get sent back in time, and then I'll head off to finish my planet.

AW: Jolly good. I'll head over to my world once I'm done here.

ME: And where is 'here'?

AW: Celestia's planet.

ME: Ah, OK. Well, I'll let you know when I'm heading back to LOCAD. Cya!

AW: Eheheh, OK.

ME: :D

[midnightEclipse ceased pestering amniomorphicWizard]

Turning off her laptop for the time being, Luna went back to focusing on more important matters. Specifically, how very, very, very cute the fillies were. She watched, with an ever-increasing smile, as Pinkie Pie attempted to chase after Rainbow Dash, only to trip over her disproportionately large tail and land in a messy pile of adorable.

So. Cute.

***

"And there's another one," Star Swirl commented, stashing the latest in a series of multicoloured amphibians into his sylladex. "Twelve down, only... uh..." He paused, pretending to think. "Hey Celestia, what's infinity minus twelve?"

"Ten to the power of shut the fuck up," Celestia replied dryly, brushing past the unicorn as she headed towards the relative shade of the mountains. Over the course of the last few frogs, the planet had slowly led them back onto the surface of the planet. Presumably that meant they were nearing the Forge.

"Well, we have that many left to go. Are you not finding these quests boring?"

"Actually, I find the premise very interesting," Celestia said, pausing next to a completely regular boulder. Taking her staff out of her strife deck, she jabbed it forwards with enough force to... well, enough force to split a boulder. Accordingly, the boulder split open, revealing a large purple frog within.

"First of all, holy fuck," Star Swirl said, which Celestia decided to take as a complement as she placed the frog into her sylladex. "And second of all, what premise?"

"The premise that there is a link between the fabric of space-time, and amphibians," Celestia explained patiently. "Really, this should interest you just as much as me."

"No it shouldn't," Star Swirl pointed out. "There are three dimensions of space, and only one of time. You should be three times as interested as me. Assuming there is any link whatsoever between our aspect and our interests, which I doubt. I don't go around collecting clocks, do I?"

"True. But you do mess around with time experiments," Celestia said. "And you're the only one out of all of us who's actually travelled through time, so far."

"That's not true. You're travelling through time right now," Star Swirl said. Aside from this rather silly way of winning the argument, Celestia happened to be completely wrong in her assessment of her own time travelling history. Not that that could be held against her, since she was rather young at the time. "But I take your point." They continued in silence for a few minutes, before something occurred to him. "Hey, what happened to that crocodile who was following you around?"

"You mean Lector?" Celestia asked, receiving a bemused look from Star Swirl. "What? They have names, you know!" Then again, Celestia wondered exactly why she was defending the crocodile. He hadn't been particularly friendly, just very respectful of her - respect which was partly out of fear. Still, he had been quite endearing in his own way. Or maybe she was confusing the word 'endearing' for 'surreal'. "Well, Lector went on ahead a while ago, to decipher the puzzle which we're apparently going to find at the Forge."

"I see. Do we have any idea how long these quests are going to take, out of interest?" Star Swirl asked. He was vaguely aware that Sburb had a time limit, although he had been led to believe that a typical session could last several days or more. His own quests weren't going to finish themselves.

"Yeah, in total it should take about ten minutes," Celestia said. "Plus an hour for every time you complain. By my calculations, we should be done within the month." Apparently Star Swirl took the hint, as he decided to let that pass by without comment. "Honestly, sometimes I wonder what Luna sees in..." Celestia paused, as she suddenly remembered what she wasn't meant to be talking about. "Uh... what she sees in... clouds?"

"Clouds?" Star Swirl raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Yeah, I mean, she's always going on about how great clouds are. Sure, I guess they look really comfortable, and it's pretty cool that pegasi can stand on them and everything, but are they that great? I mean, they're just condensed water, so I would imagine that they're quite damp. I wouldn't want to go to sleep on a cloud." Whew, Celestia thought to herself. Nice save.

"Uhuh," Star Swirl said, nodding slowly. "Right."

"Shut up."

***

As a side effect of their meddling, Silver and Mild had found the White King to be somewhat more challenging than expected. But finally, after far too many fraymotifs and not nearly enough chocolate, the White King lay defeated. The Black King would soon begin the Reckoning, and then the countdown would begin. And then they could progress to stage 3 of the plan. But for now, all Silver could think about was how much she didn't want to do things which weren't resting.

"Come on, get up." Whether he had an unfair advantage due to being a God or not, Mild seemed unfazed by the colossal battle which had just taken place. That fact bothered Silver almost as much as his unnecessarily irritating ideas.

"No."

"Yes. We have a deadline to work to," Mild reminded her. "If we're going to get them off of their planets within 24 hours, we'll need to provide a helping hand. And that means you have a lot of work to do."

"There wasn't a single thing you just said which didn't make me want to hurt you," Silver mumbled. "Why do we need them off the planet?"

"We've been over this. This next stage of the plan has very specific circumstances, and if we don't meet those requirements then none of this will work. Besides," Mild pointed out, "I would have thought you'd jump at the chance to spend some time getting to know all of her... I mean, all of your friends."

"If I could be bothered to get up, I would hurt you so much," Silver said wearily. "But never mind. Where am I going?" In response, Mild retrieved the Gate from his sylladex. The Gate, just to be clear, is something that should be treated as highly mysterious and intriguing, and should be accompanied by suitable feelings of awe and wonder as Mild retrieves it from his sylladex. Considering the item, and making a few quick calculations, Mild answered.

"The Land of Cold and Dark, I think. Luna should head back there after she's finished with her ectobiolobabysitting, so you should be able to intercept her there." He held out the Gate, which Silver reluctantly took as she got to her feet. "You may as well hold onto it, since you need it more than I do."

"Fine. And what are you going to be doing?" Mild paused as he considered the question.

"I may as well take care of our hostage before he wakes up," Mild said. "And then I think I'm going to have a nice long chat with our past-ally from the future, in the past." Just because neither of them were heroes of Time didn't mean they couldn't use the terminology. They just weren't very good at it, and any self respecting Page who happened to be listening would have had a very hard time keeping himself from interjecting. Because really, was it so hard to call someone a 'retrofuture pre-alliance future friend, beforehand'?

Fortunately, there wasn't a Page in sight, and any suggestion that there ever would be was simply ridiculous.

***

Sadly, all good things must come to an end, and Luna was thoroughly saddened to see all seven fillies transportalised away from the laboratory by some unseen mechanism. The laboratory, Luna had determined, was in the Veil, a ring of meteors arranged along the outermost rim of the incipisphere. Each foal was taken and deposited on their own individual meteors, which would soon join the assault against Skaia. And then, they would be sent backwards in time, to become the founders of Equestria. And also Silver. Silver would go back in time to be Silver. If she was being honest, Luna was confused about exactly why Silver was included among the fillies she had created. If Silver was there, then where was Luna, or any of the rest of her group?

On a more pressing note, Luna realised, the fact that the babies would soon be sent back in time meant that the final battle for Skaia was already beginning. And if the Reckoning had started, then the White King was already dead. Which meant he had been right... damn it. Absently, Luna wondered if that meant the rest of the predictions she had received were also true. Was there really nothing they could do to stop all of this? Wasn't there any hope for their session?

"Well, I told you so," the other pony in the room commented. "And I'm not going to insult your intelligence by pretending I don't love saying that."

"I know you told me," Luna said, not quite in the mood for another argument about causality. "Do you have anything useful to tell me, or are you just going to restate my assured defeat?"

"Now, that's hardly fair," the pony protested. "I'm giving you hints about the future. I can't help it if your future sucks." Her visitor almost sounded hurt.

"Well, I appreciate you taking the time out of your busy schedule to cheer me up," Luna said, striding over to the transportaliser that she had used to enter the laboratory in the first place. "But some of us have work to do, regardless of whether we'll succeed."

"Very noble," the pony noted. "Which is good, that'll serve you well in the future." Glancing around the empty laboratory, he nodded to himself. "Good luck and all that."

"Thanks," Luna said, smiling as she stepped onto the transportaliser. "You too."

And with that, she was gone.

Chapter 25

View Online

[eclecticSage began pestering desertedDestiny]

ES: hey

DD: Uh. Hi?

DD: Who are you?

ES: i'm golden

ES: not that that's important right now

ES: i need you to back me up here

DD: ?

DD: What do you mean?

ES: ok, BASICALLY

ES: my friend and i are having a little disagreement

DD: Uh... OK...

ES: i'm trying to argue that umbrellas are just as capable a weapon, if not more so, than axes

DD: Axes?

ES: AXES

ES: i mean, there's nothing WRONG with axes per se

ES: but neither is there anything wrong with an umbrella

ES: or any of the less conventional forms of weaponry

ES: do you agree?

DD: Um.

DD: I guess?

DD: My friend uses books, so...

DD: I suppose that counts as unconventional?

ES: actually it's pretty common from what i hear

ES: but yeah

ES: that's what i'm SAYING

DD: Heh.

ES: well anyway

ES: i can't stop to chat, but

ES: i'll be talking to you later

DD: Sure. Whoever you are.

ES: i told you, i'm golden

DD: Right. That helps.

DD: Bye, then.

ES: yeah, BYE

[eclecticSage ceased pestering desertedDestiny]

***A LITTLE EARLIER***

"That should do it," Celestia said at last, stepping back from the machine to admire her handiwork. Exactly why there was a machine controlling a volcano that no one knew how to operate, she wasn't quite sure, but finally the thing had started working. "Step 1 is complete!"

"Yeah, great, well done. Now, about step 1.5..." Star Swirl began, gesturing at the puzzle she had just solved. "Specifically, getting out of here before the volcano starts working..."

"Oh, that? Don't worry, I've got a plan." She smiled happily, while Star Swirl waited patiently. A few seconds passed, before Lector coughed politely and Celestia continued. "Basically, we run as fast as we can."

Another few seconds passed uneventfully. The unicorn simply stood dumbfounded, the earth pony continued to grin like a madmare, and the crocodile stood between them nervously. Then, finally coming to his senses, Star Swirl magically lifted Lector off of his tiny legs and began hurtling down the tunnel through which they had entered the Forge, a cackling Celestia close behind him.

"Celestia, I kind of hate you," the wizard called back to the Mage, who seemed oblivious to the trembling rock surrounding them. Taking a sudden left fork, Star Swirl glanced behind him as Celestia followed, and a plume of smoke filled the tunnel they had just been running through. This was not cool, in any sense of the word. Reaching another fork, he began to head to the right turn, only for Celestia to suddenly rush forwards and push him through the left path. A few moments and one huge tremor later, a huge river of lava was suddenly flowing out of the right-hand path and down into the path where they were now running.

"Knock it off," Celestia said, beginning to sound more than a little out of breath as she and Star Swirl continued at full pelt, all manner of explosions and rock falls close behind them. Neither of them had any idea where they were going, only that stopping would be a terrible idea. "You can never stay mad at me."

"If I might make a suggestion, Mage?" Lector asked, a little bemused by his current situation. "Now would be an excellent time for you to figure out what your powers are."

"How the fuck should I know what my powers are?" Celestia asked desperately, as both ponies rapidly came to a halt as they rounded a corner only to find themselves at a dead end blocked off by fallen rock. "I don't even know why this game made me a Mage! I can't even do any magic! Star Swirl should be the Mage!"

"I AM a mage, by occupation," Star Swirl pointed out, as he tried to assess how much time they had left. Not enough, that was for sure. "OK, there's one thing I can try, but it's kind of dangerous..." Celestia looked at him incredulously, as though he had suggested that she used her monopony board as a life raft.

"Star Swirl. We're about to be killed by a volcanic eruption. HOW THE FUCK CAN YOUR IDEA PUT US IN ANY MORE DANGER!?!"

"Point taken. Stand back, this might end badly." Closing his eyes, Star Swirl tried to recall the necessary steps. How did time travel work? Visualisation, formation, realisation, just like any spell. The key was that the order was inverted. But, how could a spell take effect before it had been created? The answer, quite simply, was that it had already been created as a result of its own effect. Easy, at least in theory.

***A LOT EARLIER***

"Hi Luna!" Silver called happily, as Luna returned to the Land of Cold and Dark. Understandably, the God was caught a little off guard by her friend. Silver didn't seem to mind, or indeed notice. "I was wondering when you were going to turn up."

"You were waiting for me?" Luna asked, a little confused about the situation. "What about Golden?" The unicorn blinked.

"What about him?" Silver asked innocently, in a way that was very clearly an attempt to make Luna drop the subject. Luna decided to drop the subject.

"Ah. OK, never mind then. So-" Luna was interrupted, as a large cloud of darkness suddenly enveloped the two of them. Damn, where was Star Swirl when she needed him? Although Luna had a horn now, it wasn't as if she suddenly understood how to use magic.

But then, maybe she didn't need to. Leaping up into the sky, Luna cleared the cloud barrier before pausing and hovering in mid-air. One Voidy thing later, and all of the thick black clouds halted their endless journeys across the land, as they were drawn in towards her. As they neared, they lifted, spiralled around her, and eventually they dispersed into a thin layer of cloud far off of the ground. So her Void powers apparently gave her influence over these clouds? That seemed pretty useful. Regardless, the clouds weren't going to be a problem anymore, so Luna quickly flew back down to where Silver had been waiting.

"Wow, that was..." Silver began, quickly closing the laptop she had been using while Luna had been flying around being impressive, to which Luna took a little offense. It hadn't taken that long, had it? "That was the correct way to show off. You are simply the best at flashy powers."

"You're just jealous because I have wings," Luna said, lowering her hood. It, just like the rest of her God tier outfit, was surprisingly comfortable, but she still preferred to have her head unrestricted. The only kind of headgear that she could imagine herself wearing long term would be some kind of crown or tiara type construction. Not that she could think of any reason why she would ever wear something like that. "Anyway, shall we?" Silver nodded. "Great. Who were you talking to, by the way?"

"Oh, nopony that you know," Silver replied, captchaloguing her laptop and beginning to walk after Luna. "Just a friend."

Although there is no known way to get into anyone else's sylladex, if there was some mechanism by which we might see Silver's conversation, it could possibly look something like this...

[shiningSeraphim (ss) began pestering psychoticDeceiver]

ss: This is a terrible plan and i dont like you

ss: But its going good so far

PD: Of course it is. My plan is great.

ss: Keep telling yourself that

ss: If you believe in something enough then that makes it slightly less fake

PD: Hmph.

PD: Just keep an eye on her, be helpful, etc.

PD: The point of this is purely for recon, and to keep her distracted.

PD: That said, if you have your axe out and she let's her guard down...

ss: Good idea

ss: Ill be sure to take the first opportunity to kill the immortal

ss: Thereby giving the game away and accomplishing nothing

PD: Oh, whatever.

ss: Damn it shes coming back

ss: Brb

PD: Fine.

[shiningSeraphim (ss) ceased pestering psychoticDeceiver]

***

PD: I doubt that I ever will.

ES: ohohohoh, that's where you're WRONG

ES: ^^

[eclecticSage ceased pestering psychoticDeceiver]

"As suspicious as that guy was," Golden noted, "This upgraded chat client is badass." Soon after installing the CD that the teal unicorn had given him, Golden had sent the files to the others as well. The CD had apparently consisted of a hugely upgraded program, which seemed to have time powers somehow? He wasn't terribly sure what it did or how it did it. What he did think was that by far the most significant feature of the upgrade was a small window that allowed him to view whoever he was talking to, whenever he was talking to them. Silver was noticeably less impressed.

"Uhuh. Now can we please get a move on? We don't exactly have the luxury of time," she reminded him. Luna had warned everyone that something called a Reckoning had started, and that they now had a limited amount of time to finish the game. Golden sighed, knowing that she was right.

"Yeah, OK. Let me just-" A beep drew his attention, and he turned back to his laptop. "Huh, I wonder what this is." And with that, he clicked the tiny button which had appeared.

FA: hey, click this for no reason

FA: #THISISSTUPID

[CURRENT eclecticSage began responding to memo THISISSTUPID]

CES: what am i DOING here?

And then a bunch of really dumb and pointless loose ends that no one even cares about were thoroughly tied up.

***

"That hurt, dumbass!" Celestia shouted, taking a decidedly negative reaction to being shoved several hours back into the past. Lector, at least, was polite enough to hold his tongue if he had any objections. Star Swirl took a moment to catch his breath. That had gone better than expected. This was to say, they were still alive and intact. "Are you listening to me!?"

"Yeah, sorry about that," Star Swirl said, walking forwards through the currently unblocked tunnel ahead of them. "I know how you really wanted to die horribly while trapped underneath a volcano. Saving you like that was just a dick move on my part, I apologise." He was not entirely unsurprised when a hoof connected with the back of his head.

"You know what I meant," Celestia said grumpily. "But... thanks. I owe you one. Now, let's get out of here. I'm sick of this mountain." Star Swirl nodded in agreement.

"Yeah. Let's go home."

***

Having tied up the more pressing loose ends, Silver and Golden had been making good progress across Golden's planet. The Land of Gardens and Statues was a curious place, filled with salamanders tending to the plants and doing their very best to stay out of sight. There were no actual buildings on the planet, and civilisation took the form of summer fêtes on a grand scale - a typical city might consist of a colossal field filled with vintage cars, arranged around an arbitrarily designated centre which would usually consist of a maypole and a few dozen ice cream trucks. Cricket was often involved in some way. It was certainly an original setting for the widespread destruction that battles with the colossal underlings often involved. Unlike the consorts of the other planets, however, most of the salamanders on LOGAS were either uninterested or simply unaware of Golden's significance to their planet. He and Silver hadn't heard so much as a whisper of his role, which was a little frustrating. Even Silver, in her brief time spent on LOsAS, had gathered that she was a Sylph of something or other.

"You know," Silver thought aloud, grinning as the ogre they were fighting roared in pain while she slashed at it viciously with her axe. "There is one NPC on this planet that will definitely know what you are." Ducking beneath a flailing limb, she ran around to the other side of the ogre to keep it off balance. "We could try going to see your denizen."

"I think I want to be a little more competent with this before we do that," Golden said, opening up his umbrella and using it as a shield to deflect an incoming blow. Somehow, it worked. "Besides, it's not a huge deal. It just makes me rage a little is all." Leaping forwards, he jabbed the umbrella into the ogre's shoulder, causing it to stagger backwards onto one foot.

"I guess you're right. Now..." Waiting for her moment, Silver ran towards the ogre from behind and magically shoved the one foot it was balancing on. Its leg went flying up from underneath it, and the underling began to plummet downwards. Right towards where Silver was standing. "Grist shower. Make it happen." Rolling his eyes, Golden rushed towards where she was waiting, stabbing upwards with his umbrella as the ogre drew ever closer. Dealing just enough damage to finish the ogre off, he opened the umbrella as the underling collapsed into a colossal gristfall. The two ponies stood in silence underneath the umbrella, as multi-coloured gaming abstractions of all shapes and sizes dripped around them. "Thanks," Silver said, as she stepped out from under the umbrella and began collecting the grist.

"You're welcome," Golden replied dryly. "Now, I'm going to check up with Luna and see what she's doing." And so he did, quickly retrieving his laptop. A small box opened, displaying a picture of Luna, in all her God tier glory.

[eclecticSage began pestering midnightEclipse]

ES: HEY LUNA

ME: Oh, hey Golden!

ME: What's up?

ES: atm?

ES: nothing but me and silver completely OWNING at this game!

ES: ^^

ME: ... wait.

ME: What?

ES: oh, don't be like that. is it really so hard to believe that me and silver are actually good at this?

ES: granted, silver's not the best at games, but i like to think that i'm pretty good

ES: also, i did NOT say that she's not the best at games, in case she asks

ME: No, I mean... Silver?

ES: yes. silver heart, one of our best friends, remember?

ME: But she's here. With me.

ES: hey, i sent you the improved chat client thing

ES: so... you can see me, right?

ME: Uh, yes?

"Hey, Silver, come over here," Golden said, waving a hoof in her general direction. She did so, with a confused expression. "Luna doesn't think you're here with me for some reason," he explained, which only made the confused expression worse.

ES: there, see?

ME: Uh. Hold on.

On the screen, Luna called out to some unseen pony. A few seconds of waiting, and the subject of her attention wandered into view. Both Golden and Silver simultaneously gasped in surprise as they saw who it was. It was Silver.

ES: i suddenly understand jack shit about anything

***

You make the MONOPONY IS ALREADY A PUN!

"You know what my favourite thing about this game is?" Celestia asked, as she inspected her newly alchemised popamatic monopony board. "It has the best sense of humour. Great job with the puns, you really did us proud."

"How many times do I need to remind you," Star Swirl sighed, lifting the MAP out of Celestia's hooves and inspecting its layout. "I didn't make the game. I have changed nothing about how the mechanics work. Which, I suppose, is a missed opportunity." As well as their homes on each of the five planets, and Skaia, the MAP also allowed the user to travel to any of the world gates or return nodes. Which meant that instead of charging through an hour or so of questing and fighting off waves of enemies, they could simply head to the return node found at the end of a gauntlet and follow the path back to the end of the quest. "But it doesn't matter, not when we have items as broken as this."

"You broke it already!?" Celestia reached out and grabbed the MAP out of the air. "This is why we can't have nice things, Star Swirl. Anyway, where should we go?"

"Go?" Star Swirl asked, gesturing around them to her drastically altered planet. Since their past selves had caught up to them and lit the Forge, the planet was now drastically different. A thick layer of cloud now blotted out the terribly bright and red light in the sky, meaning that the entirety of LOWAF was now moderately dim and temperate. Star Swirl wasn't convinced that the science actually worked that way, but global climate change was the last thing about this game that he was going to start criticising. "We've lit the Forge, but we still need to find all of the remaining frogs. We need to stay here if we're going to have any chance of finishing in time!" Celestia stared at him, clearly unimpressed by his boring ideas.

"Yeah... or we could go somewhere else and quickly have a few new adventures. I pick Silver's planet." Making the correct adjustments to the MAP, Celestia moved to push the button.

"You can't just do that-" Star Swirl began, before being cut off as Celestia just did that.

***

"Silver?" Luna asked, suddenly very unsure of herself. Who was this? She had little doubt that the real Silver was with Golden on LOGAS. But the pony in front of her... she looked exactly like Silver. Creepily so. What the hell was going on?

No. Wait. There was one difference, now that she really looked closely. In fact, she wondered why it had taken her so long to notice.

"Yes?" 'Silver' asked, not yet aware of Luna's suspicions.

"What's wrong with your eyes?" 'Silver' raised her eyebrows, but said nothing. "They're red. Your eyes are blue. What happened?"

"Uh..." 'Silver' floundered, the time limit Luna was prepared to deem unsuspicious rapidly declining. "Are they? Really? I hadn't noticed, but then, why would I have?"

"I don't know," Luna said. "I don't suppose you've been doing any time travel recently?"

"Uh... no?" 'Silver' said, a little confused by the strange question. "Why, could that have anything to do with it?"

"Not particularly," Luna said, turning her laptop so that 'Silver' could see the image of LOGAS. "But it might explain why you're both here and on LOGAS with Golden." 'Silver' froze.

"Ah. Uh... hm. I... oh dear." Silver Edge's increasingly half-hearted attempts to explain herself trailed off, as Luna's expression rapidly went through intensifying degrees of 'shut the fuck up'. Just as she began to think that it might be a good idea to get moving, the thin shell of dark cloud above them descended and thickened at Luna's command, enveloping the two mares. This was not a good place to get on Luna's bad side, Silver thought to herself. "Luna?"

"Don't worry, I'm right here," Luna's voice whispered right behind her. Quickly turning and swinging her axe into the darkness, Silver completely failed to hit anything. Was that a bad thing, reinforcing the fact that Luna completely outmatched her in this environment, or was it a relief that Luna wasn't right behind her? "Then again, maybe that isn't exactly going to reassure you," came Luna's voice, again whispered right into her ear. And again, Silver's axe did nothing but make her feel slightly more insecure about her surroundings. "I can't say I particularly care either way." An arrow shot right past her head, its fletching scraping against her horn, almost making her drop her axe in surprise. Was Luna also hindered by the darkness, or had that been a warning shot? Maybe it didn't matter.

"You're enjoying this," Silver stated, instinctively leaping to one side as another arrow flew towards her. Rolling smoothly to her hooves and flinging her axe forwards, she sprinted away without waiting to find out if her attack had accomplished anything in particular. Miraculously, she breached the cloud barrier without impaling herself on any obstacles, and wasted no time in retrieving the Gate from her sylladex. Quickly, she made the necessary adjustments. LOsAS, here she came. The moment after she had prepared the gate, however, it was shot out of her hands by another arrow. Then, almost immediately, the clouds dispersed completely to reveal a thoroughly pissed off Maid of Void. Hovering beside her was an axe. "Uh. Hey, Luna." Not taking her eyes off of Luna for more than a split second, Silver quickly glanced to the side. The Gate wasn't far away. She could potentially make it.

"Go on," Luna said, the axe circled around her head, traitorously mocking Silver. "Make my day." The moment the sentence had left her mouth, the axe flung forwards, and so did Silver. Ducking as the axe reached her, and rolling unceremoniously the remaining distance to the Gate, Silver picked up the item and glanced back to a furious Luna.

"Better luck next time," Silver said, activating the Gate and sendificating herself to safety. Luna stood alone for a while, catching her breath and deciding her next move. Retrieving Silver's axe, she reopened her laptop.

[midnightEclipse began pestering eclecticSage]

ME: I don't know how much of that you saw, but the point is that we have a fake Silver running around.

ES: eep

ME: Get yourselves over to Silver's planet right now.

ME: I'm not letting her get away that easily.

ES: sure thing

ES: what about star swirl?

ME: If he's not involved in this by the time we get there, I'll be surprised.

ME: I'll meet you and the real Silver there.

ES: OK

[midnightEclipse ceased pestering eclecticSage]

***

"So, Silver," Star Swirl said, trying to break the silence that had fallen since he and Celestia had met up with the unicorn on her planet. "Where's Golden?" While he waited for an answer, he busied himself with making tea. Celestia had not approved when she had learned that he had brought a kettle with him, but he was not about to listen to her judgement on drinking. She had wanted some all the same. Silver Edge paused, deciding how to handle the question this time around, before replying.

"He's on LOCAD with Luna. They should turn up soon enough."

"And why's that?" Celestia asked. "What's so great about your planet? No offense, of course. I just don't see why they would be heading here as well."

"Well, me and Golden and Luna are sort of going around as a whole minigroup at the moment." Silver shrugged, attempting to give the impression that the matter was not going to be explained any further. Where the hell was Mild when she needed him? "So I'm just getting on with my quests."

"That almost seems like a waste of an opportunity to me," Celestia commented. "I mean, it was just you and Golden together, having your little adventures, without any of us in the way... and now you're going around with Luna." She paused, thinking things over. "Or at least, I assume it's a waste. But then again, I'm not sure how open minded Luna is." A spluttering sound distracted her from her point, as Star Swirl almost choked on the tea he was drinking. Calmly sitting and watching, Celestia waited patiently for his coughing fit to subside before continuing. "Steady on there, Swirly."

"I had something caught in my throat," Star Swirl protested, to which Celestia simply nodded condescendingly.

"Well, I'm sure I don't know what you mean," Silver said, looking more angry than uncomfortable. "Golden and I are friends. That's it."

"Yeah. Maybe I just forgot to eat my special stardust this morning or something, but I like to think I have at least a little credibility. I'm not that stupid." When Silver refused to comment, Celestia simply rolled her eyes and snatched up the teacup which Star Swirl had poured for her. "Besides, regardless of what you two were or weren't planning on doing, it's downright selfish of you to take up all of Luna's time. Poor old Swirly here doesn't stand a chance at this rate."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Star Swirl asked. He knew exactly what she meant, and Celestia knew that he knew. His role in this conversation was to ask as many rhetorical questions and give as many ambiguous responses as possible.

"You know, Swirly, what I want to know is: if you can deliberately make yourself so incredibly dense, why can't you get Luna to be attracted to you?" Celestia replied, waiting for a few smug moments for Star Swirl to get the joke.

"That doesn't even work," he eventually said. "Density has no effect on gravitational field strength, mass does." Celestia rolled her eyes, giving an exaggerated sigh.

"I made the leap of imagination that, given that you remain the same size when you're being stupid, your density is increasing while your volume remains constant. Therefore, more mass," she ranted, taking occasional pauses to drink her tea. "Besides which, it's a fucking joke, based around the double meaning of the word density. And also, this tea is actually pretty good."

"Thank you," Star Swirl said, and for a few minutes silence returned. Silver Edge suddenly felt very awkward. "So, uh," Star Swirl began, looking decidedly more nervous than before. "Did Luna actually say that she wasn't attracted to me, or..."

"I'm saying nothing," Celestia said, as she retrieved her laptop. If they were going to be sitting around for some time, she may as well save the timeline in her spare time.

[heliacalDreamer began pestering mechanicalNoisemaker]

HD: HELLO SUMMER!

***

Appearifying out of the gate on LOsAS, Golden Shine and Silver Heart took a moment to get their bearings. There was no sign of Luna, and so there wasn't much else that they could do besides sit and wait by Silver's home. On the plus side, the view was tremendous.

"It's a beautiful planet, isn't it?" Silver asked, axe at the ready in case Golden decided to give a stupidly cliché response. Instead, he shrugged.

"It's alright. Personally, I find that kind of architecture en masse just looks a bit much." Well, at least he was being honest, although Silver felt a little disappointed that she hadn't gotten to use her axe. "So, uh... what do you think about this... fake Silver?"

"I'm not sure," Silver replied. "I don't know what to think. I mean, who is she? Where did she come from?"

"I don't know," Luna answered, suddenly dropping down out of the sky to meet them. "But I've got an axe with her name on it, so I sure as hell know where she's going."

"Axes aren't that great," Golden commented, as he rose to his feet and joined Luna and Silver as they began to head out into the landscape of the planet. "Umbrellas are just as good as weapons, plus they have a practical purpose."

"Will you shut up about umbrellas!" Silver complained, rolling her eyes apologetically at Luna, who simply smiled and shook her head. "And also, axes are great."

"Right, that does it," Golden said, retrieving his laptop as they walked. "I'm getting a second opinion on this."

[eclecticSage began pestering desertedDestiny]

ES: HEY

***

HD: And that is why Monopony has so many uses.

RB: Oh, uh, thanks... I think?

RB: I'm still not really sure who you are.

HD: I KNOW! And I'd really love to tell you, because you're just so nice.

HD: :(

HD: Maybe one day soon I'll tell you!

RB: :)

HD: BYE FLUTTERSHY!

RB: Oh, OK... bye!

[heliacalDreamer ceased pestering reticentButterfly]

"Heh, I'm just so awesome," Celestia said happily, as she captchalogued her laptop again. "Anyway, break time's over, I think." Star Swirl nodded, and all three ponies got to their feet.

"Hey, is that Luna?" Star Swirl asked, pointing a hoof in the general direction of a nearby hill. Celestia squinted at the top; the edge of the hill was blurred by the heat, but shapes that could potentially resemble ponies were apparently coming over the hill towards them.

"I think you've got Luna on the brain," Celestia said. "But it might be. What do you think, Silver?" There was no reply. "Silver?" A few seconds later, and it came to her attention that Silver was no longer in their immediate vicinity. That was odd.

"Wait, she's over there," Star Swirl pointed out. "With Luna and Golden." And, when Celestia looked, there she was. "Hm."

Walking forwards, Star Swirl and Celestia met the approaching group of three halfway, at the base of the hill, whereupon they compared notes on what had happened so far.

"Huh. So the Silver we just spent however long talking to... wasn't actually Silver?" Celestia summarised.

"Well, we don't know about that," Luna corrected. "She might be called Silver, but she's not OUR Silver."

"Well, whoever she is," Silver Heart pointed out, "We need to put a stop to this before it gets silly. Where is she?" A cackling laugh drew the group's attention, and they all looked upwards to see two ponies floating above them. One, a grey winged and horned earth pony, and the other a light purple unicorn. "Oh."

"I hate to interrupt this little group meeting," Mild said, drawing multiple knives out of his strife deck. "But we're on a tight schedule here, so I'd appreciate it if we could cut straight to the heart of the matter." He paused for effect. "Or the heart of the pony, either one would be fine." With that, Silver Edge dived sharply downwards, her replacement axe swinging straight for Golden. In response, Luna threw the axe she had taken earlier, deflecting the blow, and giving Star Swirl time to reach Golden. Seizing control of both axes, Star Swirl tossed one back to Luna while using the other to keep Silver busy dodging his attacks.

Unfortunately for him, Silver wasn't alone. After spending the first few strikes of the fight watching from his vantage point, Mild quickly flew down behind Star Swirl, flinging a series of knives towards him. Most of these were deflected off of the magical shield which he quickly raised in response - but the shield was only set up after the first two knives had embedded into his leg. Before Mild could capitalise on this, however, Luna was on the offensive, knocking his knives out of the air with her arrows.

While Star Swirl and Luna dealt with Mild, the others were attempting to take down Silver Edge. Celestia was having the most success in this endeavour, using her staff - which apparently had Spacey powers now - to shoot her enemy downwards into the ground. After doing so, she would wait for Golden and Silver to attack the enemy, until she was in a position where the damage from the staff would be significant. Even so, the strategy was having diminishing returns as she began to formulate ways of mitigating the damage.

"You know, Celestia," Silver Edge managed, as she nimbly dodged between an axe and an umbrella. "You're really starting to get me down." Focusing her strength into one large push of magic, she lashed out at the earth pony, knocking the staff from Celestia's grasp. There. Now she could capitalise on the advantage her flight gave her. Flipping herself up and over Golden, she landed directly behind Silver Heart, summoning her axe to her from where it had been dropped by Star Swirl after he had been stabbed.

As Golden watched the axe being magically picked up from its resting place, time seemed to slow as he began running. Silver Edge had almost gotten the axe. Then she had the axe. Then she was beginning to turn. Now, Silver Heart's face suggested she was beginning to realise what was happening, as Golden drew ever closer to her. The axe was swinging, and then Golden was knocking its intended victim out of the way, and then the axe carried on swinging, and then time stopped being slow and started being painful.

***

"Urgh," Mild spat, as he and Silver descended from the Medium, finally arriving on LOPAD. "That did not go very well at all. That bastard got me few times." Of course, taking damage meant basically nothing when you were a God. It had still hurt though.

"Suck it up," Silver said. "You gave as good as you got, and I gave better than I got. And, at the end of the day, mission accomplished."

"But even so, I feel like we were cheated out of a complete victory," Mild complained. Still, it wasn't like he could have predicted that Celestia would have had a MAP.

"We needed some of them alive anyway. You know what has to happen for this to work."

"Yes, yes." Mild still seemed rather annoyed, although whether that was because of his incomplete victory or because Silver seemed more in control than he did, it was impossible to say. "Now let's get this sucker loaded up before it really is too late."

"Yeah. OK."

***

Celestia wasn't a doctor by any means, but she was pretty sure that blood didn't work unless it was inside the body. Unable to suggest an alternative course of action, she poked Golden experimentally. The unicorn grunted in annoyance.

"Ow." Golden didn't particularly feel like saying anything else at that moment, so he decided to remain silent.

"He's fine," Celestia said. "No one says 'ow' when they're in actual pain."

"It's not about whether he's in pain. I'm in pain, but I'm not dying," Star Swirl noted. "It's about whether or not he needs all of that blood." Golden looked down, inspecting the wounds Star Swirl was referring to.

"To be fair, there's not really that much blood. I mean, it would be better if there wasn't any, but the fact that there is blood isn't necessarily a bad thing. If nothing else, it means that I have a functioning circulatory system, which is always reassuring. I am actually in pain as well," Golden interjected. "In case anyone cares."

"Well there we go," Celestia said, smiling wickedly. "He's in pain. We'll have to kill him, it's the only way."

"Oh, shut up." Golden groaned. "I don't really feel that bad, anyway."

"In that case, my work here is done," Celestia said with more than a hint of pride. "Come on Swirly, let's go wait for Luna to get back." Star Swirl nodded, following Celestia - albeit with a noticeable limp - away from her house and towards the large temple where Luna had ventured to speak with Echidna. More than a few moments of calm passed, as Silver and Golden sat around awkwardly.

"Are you actually OK, or were you just saying that?" Silver asked, something in her voice stopping Golden from giving the sarcastic response that Celestia or Star Swirl might have received.

"Honestly? It hurts like hell, and the only noticeable change I've felt so far is that it doesn't just hurt to speak any more. Now it hurts to breathe as well." Golden glanced to the side, to make sure that Star Swirl and Celestia had gone. "Hey, uh. Just in case, I don't know, I'm not able to-"

"Shut up," Silver said quickly. "Don't say anything." Golden shook his head adamantly.

"No. I need to tell you this, in case I-"

"Shut up," Silver repeated. "If there's something you need to tell me, you can tell me when you're better."

"I might not get better."

"Well then," she said, a barely perceptible quiver in her voice, "if you MIGHT not get better, you'll just have to make sure that you DO get better, won't you?" Golden was silent while he thought about that.

"And we're sure that this is normal you, not the bitchy version of you that tried to kill me?"

"If you weren't on your deathbed, I'd punch you."

***

"All right," Luna said, glaring at the enormous creature in front of her. "I've had enough of this rubbish. Help us. Now." Echidna considered the demand, although she didn't raise her eyebrows due to not having any.

"I don't think you understand your position, Maid," Echidna replied calmly. "Your group is all but finished, while your enemies will soon become more powerful than ever. You are hardly in a position to make demands."

"Shut it, before I show you just how 'finished' we are," Luna said angrily, her bow at the ready. What she was saying was true. There had been far too much pain, far too much frustration, and far too much fucking around doing nothing. She was ending this. "Make your stupid deal and help me." The denizen sighed deeply, a slight disturbance appearing in her otherwise serene face.

"Patience, Maid. There are procedures to which we must adhere. You wish for aid, but what is it that you seek?" Luna paused. She hadn't really thought about a specific method through which their situation would improve. Or, for that matter, how their situation needed to improve. Her answer depended on whether or not she trusted the vague predictions she had been given. Which, ultimately, she did.

"I want a way to travel beyond this universe, to other sessions. We need to find help if we're going to stop those bastards." Which was true, of course. Even with her Voidy thing, she and her friends hadn't stood a chance. "Can you help us or not?"

"Yes, I can help you," Echidna replied after a moment's thought. Her expression was decidedly tired as she explained herself, as though she had been hiding this knowledge for some time. "But the question is, do you want me to help you? I can provide the means for you to attempt to salvage your session and save your friends, that is true. However, know this - by doing so, your enemies will be able to ascend to even greater heights before this comes to an end. By saving your friends temporarily, you will be endangering not only every other game session, but every conceivable corner of reality." She paused, allowing Luna to react to what had been said. Luna's reaction consisted of several attempts to speak followed by stunned silence at how hugely flawed Echidna's emergency backup strategy apparently was. "I will create the object you desire, as my part of the deal we will make. And your role... your role will be to safeguard the situation which will arise as a result."

"Wait, what? Can you go back over that?" Luna was sure that she had missed a step somewhere along the line. "So you want me to... stop the bad guys from gaining their awesome powers that they're apparently going to get?"

"No. No one can prevent that outcome. However, what happens next is in flux. As a result of this favour, much more than your session will become vulnerable. I am asking you to protect that vulnerability from those who would do it harm. Do not worry if this is request is confusing; you will understand when the time comes. Do you accept these terms?" Luna thought for a few minutes. Everything about this proposal felt off, as though it was an elaborate trap that she was ultimately going to regret making. Everything told her that she should decline. And then she thought about her group waiting for her back on the surface, nursing their wounds. Star Swirl wasn't going to be doing a lot of walking in the immediate future, and Golden... well, Luna was trying not to think too hard about what Golden's long-term prospects were.

"OK. Do it." Echidna smiled gracefully, tilting her head slightly in recognition.

"As you command."

***END OF ACT 3 ACT 1***

Chapter 26

View Online

***ACT 3 INTERMISSION 1***

"OK, the frankly ridiculous gap in power levels, I can handle. I just wish you weren't so weird about it," Comet panted, ducking underneath an oncoming... on second thoughts, he'd rather not know exactly what he had just evaded. It had looked entirely too moist to be anything good. "I mean, sure, you killed my White King by yourself. That's pretty damn impressive, but I reckon I can work around that." Leaping backwards, he narrowly avoided his opponent's next attack. Whatever it was, exactly, it had made the area surrounding its impact a little too empty for Comet's liking. "And sure, it turns out you're the ringleader of the Asshole Squad. Which makes sense, there's basically no way Mild came up with this plan. Silver, maybe, she's a lot more devious than I first thought. And by 'devious', I mean she's a complete bitch." Anticipating the next attack, Comet somersaulted backwards, landing neatly on the ground which was suddenly above him. "But despite all that, I think there's still some good in her. Enough to not come up with a plan to fuck up everything for no adequately explored reason, at least."

"Can we figure this out after we've made it out of here!?" Twilight asked hysterically, only recently having calmed down from the revelation that their current enemy was... he wasn't really sure what it was, but Twilight seemed to recognise it. Comet wasn't really sure what the deal with that was, but he was probably going to hear all about it later. Assuming, of course, that there was a later.

"First of all, it would be easier to just ask him. Second of all, we might not make it out of here, and I'd hate to die without knowing anything about why it happened. Sheep at three o'clock, by the way." Twilight turned at Comet's warning, barely managing to duck beneath the sheep which was flying towards her for some reason. "But yeah, like I was saying, that kind of brings me to the conclusion... that there ISN'T a good reason for all this stupidity."

"Oh?" Discord asked, calmly stroking his chin with his lion paw, while his eagle claw bombarded the ponies with ridiculous devastation. "Whatever do you mean by that?" This was stupid, Comet thought to himself, but at least Discord seemed to be enjoying this brief conversation. Which was probably the one thing keeping them alive for so long.

"Well, if it was Mild, then obviously the long term goals would be something I could relate to, like boondollars or power or sweet loot. But, with you..." Comet shook his head, recalling some of the more eventful moments of the fight so far. Fighting giant lava golems that ceaselessly asked for hugs stood out as one of the strangest. "It's entirely possible, if not overwhelmingly likely, that you're just doing this because you're bored." The sheep which Twilight had dodged earlier was coming back for another run, but this time it had explosives strapped to it.

"Very true," Discord said thoughtfully, as Twilight once again dodged the sheep, noticeably more carefully than before. "That's one of my favourite reasons for doing things. For instance, why haven't I just slaughtered you all?" Suddenly, Comet and Twilight found themselves lifted into the air gently before being plunged downwards at a ridiculous speed. "Because toying with you is so much more entertaining!" At that, he burst into a fit of laughter, as Twilight teleported safely to ground level and helped Comet to slow himself down as he landed beside her. "But no, rest assured that there is a very good reason for all that my cohorts and I have done."

"I don't suppose you're in the mood for sharing?" Comet asked. If they could just keep him talking for a little longer then... a chill ran down his spine as he realised that his friends were the only ones who could save him and Twilight. This was not good.

"I suppose I could tell you all about my brilliant scheme..." Discord pretended to consider. "But then, I'd hate to put Mild out of a job. Still... how about this," he said, rising from the cloud throne he had conjured for himself. Apparently he had no problems about stealing Mild's fondness for theatrics.

Within our tale's heart,

A late plan is full of cracks

That is our escape.

Finishing his recital, Discord sat back down onto the throne.

"What was that?" Comet asked incredulously. He had long since passed the amount of riddles he was prepared to take.

"It was a haiku," Discord said calmly. "That first line took me a while, but I'm quite proud of it myself. If you're confused about what it means, don't worry, I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually..." Clapping his paw and claw together, Discord once again tore at the fabric of what reality was prepared to accept and sent Comet and Twilight plummeting into a newly created bottomless pit. "Where you're going, you'll have all the time in the world!"

Sadly, the whistling of the air as Comet and Twilight plunged towards their imminent deaths was not enough to drown out Discord's maniacal laughter. It felt strange to be fighting a proper enemy for once. It was if Mild had become competent.

"So," Comet said calmly. If he was going to die then he was going to be chill about it. "How are you holding up? Because I'm not holding up too great. I'm doing the opposite of that, in fact."

"I can't believe this is happening," Twilight said, her face completely failing to recognise the danger they were both in. "I just... how is he here? How can he be here?"

"Who, old Chuckles up there?" The laughing had faded away now, leaving them with nothing but about three more lines of progressive dialogue followed by a thoroughly unpleasant ending. "Why, do you know him?" Twilight sighed, which technically counted as a line of dialogue.

"Unfortunately."

***

"Who is your leader?" Luna asked, while the three ponies in front of her simply stared back with a mixture of shock, fear, and surprise. "And... why are you all staring at me like that?"

"P... princess?" Fluttershy asked, this latest revelation causing her to seriously doubt that the world actually made sense. What was the princess doing here? Luna seemed just as confused as her, which wasn't terribly reassuring.

"Huh?" Giving a bemused laugh, Luna nervously made sure that there was an escape route available in case this group of ponies turned out to be insane. "No, I'm Luna. Uh, pleased to meet you." Diamond shook her head.

"No, you're Princess Luna. I don't think we'd get that wrong, it's not like there's very many winged unicorns running around." Admittedly, Diamond had never seen Princess Luna wearing a dark blue cloak with a dark swirly symbol on it. But that hardly seemed relevant.

"OK, now I'm confused," Luna said, suddenly noticing Diamond's familiar appearance for the first time. "What are you doing here, Silver? And why don't you remember me?" Acapella gasped in surprise, before quickly equipping her cane and aiming it threateningly at the bewildered Maid.

"Silver? You're in league with Silver? Guys, the princess is EVIL!" Acapella cried, only to be immediately silenced by Diamond placing a hoof over the excitable unicorn's mouth.

"Calm down, I think I get it now. I assume that by 'Silver', you mean Silver Heart, right Luna? Or should I call you midnightEclipse?" If not for the conversation Luna had gone through several minutes before, she might have been caught off guard by this Silver impersonator knowing her chumhandle. Luna nodded, and Diamond released Acapella. "I apologise for the confusion. We thought you meant somepony else."

"I know who you mean, I think," Luna said, extending a hoof towards Diamond, who shook it. "So, who are you?"

"I'm Diamond Heart. As opposed to Silver Heart, or indeed Silver Edge. Yes, I realise that doesn't make any sense. No, I don't have the slightest idea why my life is so fucked up. Any questions?" Something about the way the question was phrased told Luna that it was in her best interests to say 'no'. She shook her head. "Good. Now, what can we do for you, princess?"

"I told you, I'm not a princess!" Luna protested. "I'm just Luna, from another session of this game, which I've been playing with my friends." Suddenly, she paused, as something else occurred to her. "Wait... you're not... Fluttershy?" Fluttershy looked quite alarmed by the recognition, but nodded timidly. "No. Fucking. Way." Luna was speechless. A founder. She was talking to a founder.

"Uh... is... is that bad?" Fluttershy asked, terrified by the thought that she had somehow upset the princess. After all, she was a princess.

"Bad? How could it be bad?" Luna cried, before collecting herself. "You're one of the most important ponies in history! Without you, Equestria might never have existed!" Rather than terrified, or even alarmed, now Fluttershy's expression was one of confusion.

"Uh, that really doesn't sound like me. I think I would remember something like that..." Diamond shook her head.

"No, look, this makes sense. This is Luna from a parallel universe, where Fluttershy is responsible for Equestria's existence or whatever, whereas we come from our universe where Luna is a princess. That makes sense, I think." The others, including Luna, looked at her as though she had grown a third eye.

"And... how did you arrive at that conclusion?" Acapella asked. "Also, can I just say that 'we come from our universe' is the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say." Diamond simply shrugged.

"Well, I've been thinking about it a lot since I found out about Silver Heart. It works." What she hadn't realised was that the third session from a different universe included Luna (and probably Celestia as well). Suddenly everything was a whole lot more complicated. Acapella just shrugged.

"Um, girls..."

"If you say so," she said, not entirely convinced by Diamond's crazy theory. "So, Luna, uh... why are you here?"

"Um, girls..."

"Oh, right. I'm from another game session, and we're, uh... we're in a bit of trouble right now. There are these two crazy ponies, and one of them looks exactly like Diamond, and they're ruining everything!" After that brief confusion about who came from what universe, Luna had almost forgotten how badly her friends needed help. "One of my friends is dying, another one is injured, those two crazy ponies are still out there, and we have less than 24 hours before it doesn't even matter anymore."

"Um, girls..."

"Wow. That sounds pretty bad," Acapella said. "But we have our own problems too, you know! This session's not too far off its Reckoning, half our group has died at least once, and... Hey Fluttershy, what's up?" Fluttershy, who had been quietly waiting for a chance to speak, jumped at the mention of her name.

"Oh, uh, I just wanted to say that, um... we're not alone here, uh..." A loud, obnoxious, and depressingly familiar laugh cut off the pegasus as Mild flew into view, knives at the ready.

"Don't look so surprised," he admonished the assembled ponies. "I'm surprised you didn't see this coming, after-" Mild froze, as he suddenly noticed Luna staring up at him with a smug grin on her face.

"Hey," she called to the Thief. "Don't look so surprised."

***

"Agh!" Abruptly waking up with the unpleasant feeling of falling - or more accurately, of landing after a fall - Twilight almost fell out of her bed before she caught herself and gently picked herself up. The fancy bedroom and golden dress told her exactly where she was. This was her dream room. But if she had died, her dream self should have died soon afterwards. Since this was quite clearly not the case, that left two potential explanations. Either she had somehow survived her descent, and was simply sleeping, or she had been revived. Which meant that someone had...?

Silently, Twilight wished that the former explanation was the correct one. The only two beings in her immediate vicinity had been Discord and Comet. Eurgh. Neither of those were mental images she had particularly needed. Although admittedly, one was much, much worse than the other. Just what the hell was Discord doing here, anyway? How had he escaped, and how could he have possibly gotten into the game? None of this made any sense, although that in and of itself made a small amount of sense. Logical plans and motivations had little meaning when Discord was involved. Well, when either Discord or Pinkie was involved, but Pinkie wasn't here. Or anywhere. Exactly where Pinkie was was another thing that Twilight didn't understand, but that was less pressing than the revelation that now they had Discord to deal with on top of everything else.

A sudden explosion from outside drew Twilight's attention, and she quickly ran to the window in time to see what had once been Pinkie's dream tower crumbling into dust. That probably wasn't a good sign. Quickly leaping out of her dream tower, Twilight glanced back as a second explosion devastated the room she had been in mere moments before. The only other tower was...

Racking her brains, Twilight tried to remember whether Applejack's dream-self had woken up yet. Was she still in there? Several seconds later, however, and the question answered itself. There was definitely nopony in the third dream tower, as it disappeared in a cloud of smoke and rubble. What was all this? First it was Discord, and now the dream towers were being destroyed. Why was everything suddenly going wrong?

"You're Twilight, right?" Quickly turning on the spot, Twilight found herself confronted by a pony that looked surprisingly like Diamond. Was this Silver?

"Uh... yes?" Silver smiled.

"Well, Twilight, no hard feelings or anything," her horn began to glow, and a second later Twilight found herself reeling backwards as a powerful wall of magic crashed into her. "I'm just very good at tying up loose ends."

***

"Ember? Sorry I took so long, something came up. Uh, Ember?" Fluttershy called out, returning from Derse only to find herself alone in the ectolab. That wasn't where she had gone to sleep. In fact, it was a good few miles away from where she had gone to sleep. "Ember!" A few minutes later, Fluttershy accepted that Ember was either too far away or too unconscious to hear her, so she rose to her feet and began making her way out of the lab.

Fluttershy was still trying to figure out exactly what the deal with Ember was supposed to be. On the one hoof, sometimes he was quite sweet in a moronic kind of way. On the other hoof, he was a complete psychopath. He was on the exact opposite end of the scale to her; while she outright refused to fight the underlings, Ember relished the chance to obliterate a few dozen Granite Ogres. Shaking her head sadly, Fluttershy finally reached the entrance and stepped outside.

The sight that greeted her as she looked out on the rolling hills of LOTAF was both unexpected and somewhat worrying. Literally carved into the hillside, presumably using a hammer, Ember had left her a message.

fLUTTERSHY

i WANT TO ~~APOPL~~ AO SAY SORRY FOR EVERYTHING THAT

i MEAN THAT i WANT TO

tHANK YOU FOR HOW ~~NISE~~

fUCK IT

gONE TO FIX EVERYTHING. BRB

It was probably very hard to carve into the ground like that, Fluttershy reasoned, although now she was less convinced that Ember's capitalisation was an accident.

***

"Ember? What are you doing here?" Destiny asked; as the earth pony in question flew down to greet them. She, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash had been making good progress through the Land of Silk and Flames, although it had been slow going at first. The main hazard was the fact that the entire planet was slowly being engulfed by fire, and would burn away completely unless they did something quickly. This wasn't a huge problem for the time being, although Destiny was a little nervous about progressing into the silk lined caves in front of them. If they were trapped down there when the fire reached them, it wouldn't be pretty.

"Oh, I'm just travelling around taking care of a few things," Ember replied, swinging his hammer violently into the ground. A few seconds later, the ground beneath them shook and quivered, then gave way entirely as a huge temple was lifted from within the planet. "Such as saving you about half an hour of trudging through a cramped, smoke filled dungeon."

"Awesome," Rainbow Dash said approvingly, as she and Rarity strode ahead into the temple. "Why can't I have cool powers?"

"You can fly fast enough to break the sound barrier," Destiny pointed out, following her friends into the ruins. "That's a pretty cool power."

"Yeah, but I can't do this."

"Well, that's that," Ember said, retrieving his MAP. "I'll be off, for now."

"Oh, Ember, before you go," Rarity began, drawing her attention away from the temple. "How did you know there was a temple here, or even that we needed to get to it?"

"Uh," Ember paused. "The answer to that is." With that, he quickly pressed the button, and transportalised somewhere far from silly questions that are silly.

***

"Oh. It's you again." Comet was not overly excited to see the elusive Bard again, especially given what had happened last time. "So I guess I'm dreaming again?" Pinkie nodded happily, glad to have any company in her dream bubble. "Well, that's preferable to dead. So, what shitty twist are you going to reveal this time?"

"I don't know. I just wanted somepony to talk to," Pinkie said, grinning madly. "It gets kind of lonely where I am, so I come here for company."

"And where are you, exactly?" Neither he nor Twilight had any idea where Pinkie had gone, only that she occasionally turned up in dreams from time to time.

"I can't really say," Pinkie said. "There are a lot of bad consequences for explaining this kind of thing too early." She paused. "There's almost as many consequences as there are for explaining it too late."

"Right. Where are we, by the way?" Comet didn't recognise their surroundings in the slightest - he and Pinkie were both hovering above a huge lake surrounded on all sides by colossal mountain ranges. The sky above them was covered in a thick grey layer of dust, and in the distance a colossal structure extended miles into the sky - the familiar silhouette of a player's house extending to the seventh gate far above their planet. "I don't recognise this planet."

"You wouldn't," Pinkie said calmly, using whatever power she had over the bubble to accelerate their progression through the sky until they reached the shore of the lake. A group of ponies sat on the small beach, clearly in bad shape. One of them was bleeding far too much for it to be healthy. "This is the Land of Warmth and Frogs. And its hero is..." She didn't need to complete her sentence, as Comet recognised the white earth pony sitting dejectedly to one side of the group.

"That isn't... Celestia?" Pinkie nodded. "Why is Celestia playing this game? And why is she an earth pony?" The amount of sense that this was making was rapidly declining.

"She's only young," Pinkie explained. "Give it time, and she'll be the winged-and-horned earth pony that we all know and love." The implications of this were not lost on Comet.

"Wait, so, you're telling me that the reason Celestia and Luna are both winged unicorns... is that they played this game and ascended to God Tier?" That was a pretty big revelation, in his eyes. It was also rather far-fetched. Although, then again, it was Sburb. Anything was possible, and the less believable it was the more likely it seemed to be.

"Well, I can't be certain," Pinkie admitted. "I mean, there are other ways of becoming one. But it seems likely, given the circumstances."

"I see. That's a pretty crazy turn of events," Comet noted. "But why is it relevant?" There was a pause. "It is relevant, isn't it?"

"Oh, yes, I'm just not sure if I should tell you yet. You're about to find out anyway." She pointed a hoof down at the group, where Comet could see a unicorn he didn't recognise shouting about something to the others. Whatever it was about, young Celestia seemed rather agitated by it, rising to her feet and equipping her staff. And then Comet saw what they were shouting about - a far too familiar Thief approaching them menacingly.

"... fuck. So this is where Mild went after our session." Comet sighed wearily, already sick to death of dealing with Mild's nonsense. "Just how many historical figures are going to fail miserably at this game due to my mistake? As surprising twists go, this is getting really old, really fast."

"Exactly. And that's why you all need to go over there and help them!" Pinkie said, as Mild began battling Celestia, the unknown unicorn, and another unicorn who looked like Diamond for some reason. The dying pony didn't really help, but he did try to bleed a little more threateningly. "There's still time to stop all this if you hurry. So, since time is of the essence, I can't really be gentle here..."

"Huh? What are you-" Comet broke off halfway through his question, as the answer knocked him over the back of the head. Shortly after, Pinkie found herself alone in her dream bubble, save for the battle that she had already seen several times over. There was no time to waste remembering. Her true task was fast approaching.

***

"Ow!" Comet shook his head sleepily, lifting a hoof to the back of his head. There was nothing there, nor should there have been, but it still hurt. After a few moments sitting with his head in his hooves, he suddenly realised that he wasn't dead. He also noticed that he wasn't on the Battlefield, but instead was sitting on top of a giant mountain of cake. This was certainly a turn for the unexpected.

"Hey, get down from there," Twilight's voice called. Looking down the mountain, Comet saw her waving from a pile of shortbread at the base, next to a pile of large presents. He obliged, sliding gracefully halfway down the mound of cake, at which point his leg caught on something and he rolled unceremoniously to the bottom of the pile. Twilight burst into laughter.

"Yeah, laugh it up Sparkles," Comet grumbled, picking himself up and properly looking around their surroundings. "Is this LOPAL?" Twilight nodded, gesturing to a large red present next to them. Attached to it was a small note.

yOU CAN THANK ME WHEN YOU GET UP

sINCE i JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE AND TWILIGHTS LIFE

jUST GOING TO FINISH SOLVING EVERYTHING AND THEN iLL COME BACK HERE TO TAKE YOU BOTH TO dERSE

aND YES

i AM AWESOME

"This is... I..." Comet was dumbfounded. Ember was making his own decisions? Good, thought out decisions? "It's the apocalypse." Twilight began to laugh, before catching herself.

"Come on, don't be so mean. He saved us both."

"Yeah. He did." Glancing back up at the cake mountain, something clicked in Comet's brain. "And he even thought to teleport us onto a mountain of cake to cushion the landing. He actually remembered momentum. This... this kind of thing just doesn't happen."

There was silence for a few moments, while Comet thought about that, before speaking again.

"I..." he shook his head sadly. “I’m not sure what I believe in anymore."

***

Twilight had been knocked out by the attack, but Silver wasn't about to take any chances. You never knew with these ponies. No, the way to handle this was to keep well away from her victim, and to throw axes at her. A truly honourable death. Equipping her axe, and throwing it forwards without much thought, Silver watched as it arced through the air towards Twilight, before suddenly disappearing. This struck her as something which axes are not necessarily know for doing, and she quickly glanced around for any sign of what had gone wrong. This turned out to be a wise move, as she managed to catch sight of the axe before it hit her. Magically slowing the axe and returning it to its default position of hovering beside her, Silver looked around her to determine what had gone wrong. Presumably one of the other players was somewhere nearby. This would require caution.

And then the ground itself literally exploded upwards, as the surrounding buildings were shunted out of the ground and began spiralling away. Spires snapped in two, and huge chasms were torn out of the ground. Whoever this was, Silver wasn't sure if the target was her, or just Prospit's moon in general. Another explosion and her adversary emerged from the newly created tear in the moon's surface. Ember.

"Hey Silver," he said calmly. Silver paused, a little unsure of herself. As far as she was concerned, it was blatantly obvious that she was Ember's enemy. She had outright confessed to as much. But then again, this was Ember Glow. "What's up?"

"Uh. Nothing much really," Silver said, more than a little unnerved by Ember's calm expression. After all, he had just devastated this side of the moon, probably killing a lot of Prospitans. "Just chilling. You?"

"I'm kind of on a quest at the moment," he replied. "Trying to prove that I'm useful, fix everything, that kind of thing." Silver looked around her. Sure, she had destroyed the three dream towers. But this, this looked like the Reckoning had already happened.

"Uh... well, I can see at least two buildings that are still structurally sound, so I suppose you're making progress?" Ember laughed.

"I mean like, stop all the bad guys, save everyone, that kind of thing. You know, the stuff I'm supposed to do." So saying, he spun his warhammer experimentally. "So, I guess I'll get right on with that." Ah. So maybe he had been paying attention.

"That's-JEGUS!" Leaping into the sky, Silver narrowly dodged a colossal spike of earth that was driven upwards from underneath her as Ember swung his hammer downwards to connect with the surface of the moon. If he trying to save Twilight, he was going about it in a very strange way; the tumbling boulders of displaced earth rolled in all directions, a few narrowly missing Twilight. "Oh, is this what we're doing now?" Apparently it was, as Ember flew up to join her in the sky above Prospit's moon. "Bring it on, bitch."

FRAYMOTIF
[HOPE VS SPACE]
ARIAPOCALYPSE

***

"So let me get this straight," Twilight said. "There's another game session, the one that has been sending us messages, that consists of Luna, Celestia, a pony who looks like Diamond, and a few others that we don't know about... and they need our help?" Comet nodded. "How does that make any sense!?"

"I've got a few ideas. Nothing concrete yet, but we'll see. In my experience, the more I talk about my theories, the less accurate they turn out to be." Comet flipped open his laptop. "So yeah. I'm going to go with whoever else wants to come and help them out, for the same reason that I came here to help you."

"The reason being, you know it was all your fault and this is how you deal with the guilt?"

"A simple 'thanks' would have sufficed."

***

"Fuck. Yes. That was awesome," Summer breathed, thoroughly exhausted from the battle. Eventually, the power that was reviving the underlings had diminished, and she and Applejack had been able to finally clear the room. Now they only had the denizen herself to deal with. "Awesome, but tiring. I vote that we take a break in the interest of staying alive." Applejack, who had arguably been doing more physical work during the fight, nodded in agreement.

"Eeyup. Still, we're doing pretty well, aren't we? Shouldn't be long now before we're finished here." Of course, even after dealing with Applejack's denizen, there was still an awful lot of work to finish.

"Yeah," Summer said, absently opening her laptop while the two of them caught their breath. "Ooh, looks like it's all been happening while we've been busy."

"How so?" Applejack asked, walking over to Summer to get a better look at her screen.

[CURRENT suspiciousSerpent (SS) began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

CSS: so, the latest plot twist is:

CSS: Luna's here! and yes, that's Luna as in Princess Luna, except she's not actually Princess Luna.

CSS: and yeah, she and her group needs our help because we're just that awesome. that's what the deal with that is.

CSS: oh, and also she has awesome powers that render Mild's crappy mind control completely obsolete, so now she is my best friend.

CSS: sorry about that, Acapella.

[CURRENT homelessChicken began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

CHC: <:(

CSS: soooooorry!

[CURRENT midnightEclipse began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

CME: Uh, yeah, hey everyone!

CME: I understand that your group isn't in much better shape than mine...

CME: But there are lives at stake!

[CURRENT adamantineCorsair began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

CAC: Princess?

CME: Uh, I'm not actually a princess.

CSS: DO NOT ASK ABOUT THE PRINCESS THING.

CAC: Ah, noted.

CAC: Wait a moment. If 'ME' is Luna, then...

CSS: yes. all those strange ponies we didn't know about are actually Luna and her friends.

CME: Oh, right, so the ponies we had to talk to were your group?

CSS: the ponies you HAD to talk to?

CME: Uh. Never mind.

CAC: Well, we would be happy to help, Luna.

CAC: Just as soon as we're done with our quests.

CME: But Golden is dying!

CAC: I...

[CURRENT mechanicalNoisemaker began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

CMN: 'sup bitches

CHC: Hey Summer!

CMN: Hey

CMN: So the way I see it

CMN: They need help

CMN: We can't just drop everything

CMN: So how about enough of us go back with her to help out

CMN: But the rest of us stay here because the AS aren't going to fuck themselves up

CMN: Except maybe Mild but he's not representative anyway

CME: Any help would be appreciated.

CSS: OK sure, let's do that.

CSS: who's going with Luna?

CMN: How long do we have?

CME: Uh... I don't know. :\

CSS: let's say half an hour.

CMN: In that case, I'm in

"What do you think?" Summer asked. Applejack frowned, still digesting the fact that the princess - who wasn't actually a princess - was playing the game and needed their help.

"Why are ya going?" Applejack eventually asked.

"Aside from anything else, I'm curious," Summer answered.

[fractalAbomination began pestering mechanicalNoisemaker]

FA: that's an understatement

[fractalAbomination ceased pestering mechanicalNoisemaker]

"... about meeting Luna's group. I mean, aren't you?"

"Ah suppose. Plus, one of them's dying..." Applejack glanced back at the door which led to her denizen's chamber. "So someone like me would come in useful."

CMN: And AJ's in as well

[CURRENT fractalAbomination began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

CFA: yeah, me and twilight are in as well

CFA: also, bright pink bards who creepily know absolutely everything are much better at summaries than you guys

CSS: shush.

CSS: well, I want to go for... reasons.

CHC: We can't really lose anyone else, or we're going to be understaffed.

CHC: That should do, anyway.

CSS: yeah, I guess.

CSS: is everyone on LOSAF OK with staying here?

CAC: Well, I can't say I wouldn't want to go, but I will stay where I am needed.

CSS: Fluttershy/Ember?

[CURRENT reticentButterfly began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

CRB: Uh, I'm not sure where Ember is at the moment, but I need to stay here and finish the frog.

CSS: understood. well then, all relevant parties meet back here in half an hour.

CMN: Sure

[CURRENT mechanicalNoisemaker ceased responding to memo TEAM NUBLET]

Chapter 27

View Online

"She could be in trouble. Something might have happened." Despite his usually cool and collected demeanor, Discord genuinely seemed on edge by recent events. Mild wasn't sure whether to be smug that he was staying more focused than Discord, or whether to be concerned that the most powerful member of his group was worrying about something as trivial as Silver's situation. Still, Silver had been gone for a while without sending any message to let them know what was happening. This was worrying, especially since there were so many rogue elements at this stage of the game.

"Whatever it is, I doubt that it's important," Mild said dismissively. "What's important is that Luna is recruiting, which means that it won't be long before they realize what's going on."

"And when they do?" Discord asked Silver's whereabouts still on his mind. "All of their powers combined couldn't hope to stand against me. Still, I suppose you're right. We've been wasting time for too long." Mild nodded in agreement. The sooner everything was in order, the sooner they could move ahead with the plan. And the last thing they needed was to be waiting around when this incipisphere was permanently obliterated.

"So what do you want to do now?"

"I'm going to find Silver. I don't care what you think; she's the most vulnerable out of all of us. Meanwhile, you..." He cast his arms about aimlessly, indicating that he gave an astonishingly small amount of fucks. "I don't know, why you don’t go kill everyone on LOSAF. You can handle that, right?" Not waiting for a response, he took to the skies of Derse and began the journey to Prospit.

***

"I'm just thinking out loud here," Star Swirl said, narrowly dodging between knives. "But ever since Comet turned up and started 'helping' us, everything's been going terribly."

"That's not quite true," Celestia remarked, parrying another knife while driving her staff forwards to connect with the air that had recently held a Thief of Mind. "Luna died before then, and this guy almost killed Silver and Golden. It wasn't until after then that he showed up."

"Well, yes, I suppose you're right." An axe almost slashed into Star Swirl's legs, stopping in mid-air as Celestia knocked Silver hard on the back of her head to break Mild's control. "But then, this guy is from Comet's session, right? And he had Golden helping him enter, for crying out loud."

"So what are you saying?" Silver asked, turning her axe away from Star Swirl and instead using it to attack Mild. "Comet's a bad guy?"

"I don't know about that. He's clearly opposed to Mild, which can only be a good thing." Wresting control of the nearest few knives from Mild, Star Swirl spun them around and sent them flying back towards the God. "But at the same time, simply agreeing to everything he suggests seems like a bad idea. If he was really so great at understanding everything that's happening, then why did he allow this to escalate in the first place?"

"Well, presumably he knows more about everything now that he's been around the timeline a few more times," Silver pointed out. "He did say that it took him a few times to figure out exactly what's happening."

"Urgh, all this time travel is stupid and unnecessary," Star Swirl said angrily. "OK, here's the new plan. We don't explicitly trust Comet, or any of his crazy plans. At the same time, maybe it's worth taking into account his views on whatever. But at the end of the day, the important thing is that we don't spend any more time talking to his group in the past or whatever."

"Are you OK?" Celestia asked, quickly knocking Star Swirl in the head as she noticed his eyes beginning to gloss over as Mild attempted to take control of him. "It seems like you've lost a lot of the patience you used to have with Comet and his group."

"I'm fine," Star Swirl replied, sparing a glance at where Golden was lying, largely incapable of doing anything to help them. "I'm just frustrated. Everything's been going wrong and there's nothing we could do to stop it. I'd rather not play a part in reinforcing this series of events." Celestia thought about that, before nodding in agreement.

"OK, fair enough."

"Do you mind!?" Mild shouted angrily, more than a little annoyed that his attempts at mind control were being dispelled before he could properly take control of any of them. "I'm fighting you here! This isn't just another wave of underlings!"

"Yeah, true," Silver said, deftly knocking away another wave of knives. "Underlings don't have a superiority complex."

***

"Right then, I think I'll head back to LOSAF now," Acapella said, after making sure that Fluttershy and Rainbow's dream selves had been properly balanced in the small alcove beneath the bridge where they had been making their stand. It was basically indistinguishable from the rest of Derse, so hopefully they would be safe there. That was the plan, anyway. "I assume you guys can handle things without me?" Diamond rolled her eyes.

"I'm sure we can," she said dryly. "No offence or anything, but your contributions to our plans don't always work out too well."

"What? But I'm the best at planning!" Acapella protested, flying up onto the bridge where the others - now including Comet and Twilight - were waiting. Diamond raised an eyebrow.

"Ah. So that's why you decide to leave now, instead of five minutes earlier when Ember was still here. Meaning that now you have to fly all the way to LOSAF yourself instead of just taking the MAP there."

"Yes. My plan is great," Acapella said proudly, before addressing the group as a whole. "Well, bye everypony! Good luck and all that!" And with that, she took off into the Medium. A few moments later, Comet spoke up.

"She does realise that Ember will probably bring Summer and AJ here in another few minutes, right?"

"Somehow, I don't think so," Diamond replied.

***

"This is really starting to get me down," Celestia said, once again pre-emptively freeing Star Swirl from Mild's control. "I mean, it's not like I have any problems with constantly beating my friends over the backs of their heads, that's great. But seriously, can't you just give it a rest already?" In response, Mild instead chose Celestia as a target, at which Star Swirl rather zealously smacked her over the head. "That was uncalled for, Swirly."

"I apologise for freeing you from mind control," Star Swirl replied. "I don't know why I thought listening to you complaining would be better than having you try to kill me." A beeping noise distracted all of them, and they all glanced around for the source until Mild drew out his laptop. "Oh, so now who's being rude!?"

[shiningSeraphim (ss) began pestering psychoticDeceiver]

ss: Get over here now

ss: We have a problem

***

"I'd say we're doing quite well for ourselves," Rarity said, as she and the others emerged from the temple on LOSAF. "I wouldn't imagine this particular gauntlet will last us much longer."

"Maybe, maybe not," Rainbow said. "We won't be able to get to the other temples as easily, remember." Their current quest, as far as they had gathered, was to journey to three different temples and to obtain crystals from each. Destiny was, to say the least, unimpressed with such an imaginative and original quest.

"Do we really need to be doing this quest, anyway?" Destiny asked. "Whether or not we finish it has no bearing on our long term goals, and we're all powerful enough to move on to the next section."

"Now, now Destiny, there's always time for a good quest," Rarity said.

"But this isn't a good quest, that's the point!" Destiny replied exasperatedly. "Come on; let's go do something more interesting." And that, a watching Mild Darkness decided, was his cue.

"More interesting?" Mild said, descending from his vantage point on top of the temple. "I'm sure I can think of something..."

"Oh great, not this guy again," Rainbow said with an exaggerated sigh. "This is going to take all of ten minutes."

"Oh, is it now?" Mild asked, allowing himself a thin smile. "I've had just about enough of being pushed around and treated like a joke. You're right, Rainbow, this is only going to take ten minutes, but it's going to end with only me left standing."

"I've been waiting for this," Destiny said, the only one of the three ponies with a large grin on her face. "This will be the first time we've battled fair and square, right?"

"Yes, I believe so," Mild replied. "It will also be the last."

***

Mild had eventually left them alone, but Silver Heart had no idea why. They were in no shape to fight off a God, and Golden wasn't getting much better in a hurry. But either way, they now had a little breathing room. Where was Luna, anyway?

"What are we going to do?" Silver asked Golden absently. Celestia and Star Swirl were still off frog hunting, leaving her alone to make sure nothing happened to Golden. Not that she would be able to fight off Mild if he returned.

"Don't worry about it," Golden said reassuringly. Although he was still in bad shape, he was better than he had been. At that point, he was on his laptop talking to one of the ponies from the other session. "Luna will pull through."

"I hope you're right," Silver said, feeling altogether more cynical about Luna's chances of success. "For your sake."

"Don't be like that. You should talk to these guys like I'm doing; it'll take your mind off of it." Silver thought about that for a few moments, before nodding to herself and opening up a new conversation.

[suspiciousSeraphim (Ss) began pestering homelessChicken]

Ss: Hello!

HC: Oh, hey... uh...

HC: Wait, what?

HC: I hope this isn't too forward, but...

HC: What's your name?

Ss: I'm Silver Heart!

HC: Uh... OK, um...

HC: Why are you talking to me?

Ss: Because all the other ponies in my group are talking to you guys, so I figured I may as well join in the fun!

HC: Right...

HC: I suddenly understand nothing.

That probably wasn't the greatest first impression she could have hoped for, Silver reflected. Absently glancing over to Golden's screen, she saw a red pegasus gutting a gliclops with some kind of umbrella-based weaponry.

DD: And that, children, is why you should never open an umbrella inside.

ES: HA

ES: WOW

ES: that was awesome!

"Enjoying yourself, I see," Silver commented. "So... by the looks of things, are they in any state to come and help us?"

"No. But that's OK," Golden pointed out. "Because there's a significant time delay between our session and theirs. By the time Luna gets there, they'll be powerful enough to help us out."

"And by the time they get back here?" Silver asked meaningfully. Golden was silent for a few moments.

DD: Yeah, OK.

ES: BYE

[eclecticSage ceased pestering desertedDestiny]

"We'll just have to see, won't we?" Silver shook her head.

"Well, whatever. Are you still feeling OK?" Golden had claimed that the pain of talking had subsided. Neither of them was sure whether that was reassuring or worrying.

"I'm fine. Seriously. Stop worrying about me," Golden assured her. "I wish you weren't so concerned all the time." That comment earned him a light punch on the shoulder. "I retract my previous statement implying you cared about my health."

"Shut up," Silver retorted. "If that's your attitude, can I assume that you won't be worrying about me when it's my life on the line?"

"Of course I would worry," Golden replied simply. "I'd never hear the end of it if I didn't."

"Sometimes I don't think you want to be saved."

***

The sight that greeted Discord as he approached Prospit's moon was certainly impressive, to say the least. Huge chunks of the moon had been torn asunder, the intricate towers and bridges cast into the Medium. There was more debris than moon left, to the extent that it was a miracle that the chain still attached Prospit to its satellite. Whatever had happened here, it had been both terrible and glorious in its sheer destructive power. Which made the question of exactly where Silver had gotten to all the more pressing. Quickly diving towards the ruins with a sense of urgency, he began rushing around huge segments of castle in search for any sign of Silver amidst the broken fortress of gold.

As his search drew on, increasingly he would imagine a weak cry for help, or mistake a Prospitan limb for a purple leg trapped beneath a collapsed tower. Actually finding a body would almost have been preferable to continuing to search in desperation. Angrily carving a path straight through a thick castle wall, Discord froze as a limp purple form tumbled out of the wreckage, before quickly darting towards it.

Even before reaching the body, however, he realised it wasn't Silver. It was the Mage, Twilight Sparkle, her yellow dress badly shredded and her legs twisted into awkward angles. Discord had only encountered her once before, on the Battlefield, but she had acted as though she knew him from somewhere. Which was more than a little worrying, he had to admit. Time loops had been on his mind a lot recently, which made sense given the circumstances, and he was very concerned about the implications. Then again, if his plan succeeded, causality could go take a running jump off a tall building for all he cared.

A beeping noise drew his attention, and he quickly conjured up a computer from somewhere. His eyes lit up as he realised who it was.

ss: Hey

ss: I’m ok

ss: If a little disappointed with myself for almost getting killed by an idiot

ss: Good thing I had the map with me I guess

ss: Anyway I’m just going for a bit of revenge

ss: Backstabbing traitor style

ss: So I’ll meet you back on derse once everything’s died down

ss: Although if you happen to see lotaf literally exploding

ss: I could probably use a little help

Well, that was very reassuring. Discord breathed a sigh of relief, although her plans for revenge worried him somewhat. Presumably Silver had been fighting the Prince, Ember. In which case, revenge would mean...

As realization dawned on him, Discord smiled grimly. Sometimes, Silver really was malicious.

***

"What did I tell you?" Star Swirl exclaimed, after he and Celestia had returned from their frog hunting expedition only to learn about Silver and Golden's conversations with HC and DD, respectively. "I distinctly remember saying something about how we shouldn't talk to those ponies any more. Not until we know anything about them, that is."

"Calm down," Silver said. "Nothing bad's going to happen. Besides, since when were you the leader?"

"Since I know more about this game than you," Star Swirl replied plainly. "But whatever."

[suspiciousSerpent (SS) began pestering suspiciousSeraphim (Ss)]

"... well, it's not like I started this conversation, is it?" Silver asked innocently, to which Star Swirl simply rolled his eyes and walked away from her to talk with Golden. Silver turned her attention back to the conversation, not before noting that the display showed a unicorn who looked suspiciously like her. And by 'suspiciously', she meant 'exactly'.

SS: OK, 'Silver Heart', you've got some explaining to do.

Ss: What? Who are you?

SS: I'm Diamond Heart. I'm on a boat.

SS: this boat is about to pick up a unicorn by the name of Silver Edge, who uses the username shiningSerpahim.

SS: I would like an explanation, right now.

So, this wasn't Silver Edge. But Silver Edge's username was shiningSeraphim. That did it. Something really stupid and confusing was going on here.

Ss: Wow, that's... that's a pretty amazing coincidence, isn't it?

SS: I wouldn't call it a coincidence. I'd call it suspicious.

Ss: Oh, of course, I can understand that. But trust me, I've never even heard of you before you started talking to me just now.

SS: well, I'm in Acapella's group.

SS: what about you?

Ss: Oh, I'm in Golden's group.

SS: I see. well that's very helpful.

Whoever this Diamond Heart was supposed to be, she had an even shorter temper than Star Swirl.

Ss: :\

Ss: Well I'm sorry, but if it makes you feel any better I won't be talking to your group any more. Our """leader""" flipped his lid when he found out we'd all been talking to you despite his orders otherwise.

Ss: With triple quotes because I'm implying that he's the only one who thinks he's the leader.

Ss: Stupid lousy stuck up leader.

SS: I like the sound of your leader.

Oh, she did NOT just say that.

Ss: :(

Ss: Well apparently you'll all be talking to us later, but until then...

Ss: Bye Diamond!

SS: sure.

[suspiciousSeraphim (Ss) ceased being pestered by suspiciousSerpent (SS)]

"What did she want, anyway?" Star Swirl asked, noticing that Silver was closing her laptop.

"Oh, she just wanted to figure out what the deal is with how there's apparently three of me running around the place," Silver answered dismissively, as though that was a usual topic for conversation.

"Ah." He was silent for a few moments. "So, what is the deal with that?"

"Fuck if I have the slightest idea," Silver said, putting a hoof to her head as she came to realise just how little sense this was all making. "There's me, there's Silver Edge, who is apparently an evil screwed up version of me, and now there's Diamond Heart as well. She seems like some kind of mix between me and Silver Edge. Why are there three of me?"

"Maybe it's the universe's way of making it up to Golden," Celestia suggested, earning her evil looks from both Silver and Golden. "Oh yeah, like I'm the only one thinking it."

"Maybe this Diamond Heart will be coming back with Luna," Golden said thoughtfully. "Then all three of you will be in this incipisphere, and you can all have a nice chat about everything."

"Yay," Silver said in a flat voice. "I can hardly wait."

***

"Go in peace, Knight," Hemera said, a serene expression on the denizen's face. She had been remarkably helpful now that Summer and Applejack had finally arrived at her palace, which Summer suspected was probably due to her being drained of most of her power by constantly reviving the underlings. Regardless, neither of the two heroes were about to complain that they had been deprived of a boss battle.

"Well then, that's that taken care of," Summer said, as the two ponies began the walk back to the surface. "So, shall we get going to Derse now?"

"Ah suppose. But, now that ya mention it..." Applejack paused, unsure as to why this hadn't occurred to her earlier. "How are we meant to get there?"

"Don't worry about that. I was thinking for a while about this, and I've realised a fairly easy solution to just about any problem you can think of." Applejack nodded for her to continue, to which Summer smiled knowingly as she retrieved her laptop.

[CURRENT mechanicalNoisemaker began responding to memo PSST!]

CMN: And don't forget to pick me and AJ up from LOSAL when you're done with all that

CMN: OK?

PMA: yEAH ok

CMN: Good good

[CURRENT mechanicalNoisemaker ceased responding to memo PSST!]

A few seconds later, Ember appeared in a flash of light, MAP in hoof. Summer glanced at Applejack, with a smug look on her face.

"Right then. Shall we?"

***

"Well, it seems that you are all far too slow for your own good," Mild said, once again appearing in the skies of LOWAF, much to the dismay of the assembled ponies. "So I'm here to make you get a move on with your part of our little plan."

"You clearly didn't get the message the first time," Star Swirl said, as he and the others assembled protectively around Golden.

"Way to make me feel inferior, guys," Golden said, only for Silver to kick a leg backwards into his shoulder. "Oh, way to kick a guy when he's down, Silver." Another kick. "OK, fine, I'll be quiet."

"There's a good Golden," Silver said appraisingly. "If we survive this then I'll get you a balloon."

"I don't like balloons," Golden retorted.

"Shut up, Golden."

"If you are quite finished," Mild interjected angrily. "But I'm running to quite a tight schedule here."

"Understood," Celestia said calmly. "We'll try and beat you as quickly as possible."

***

Returning from another successful frog hunt, Fluttershy didn't fail to notice that the door to the ectolab had been open. Maybe Ember had come back from whatever misadventures he had been getting up to? She wasn't sure whether or not that was a good thing, but it would at least be reassuring to know that he wasn't off getting into more trouble. Cautiously entering the building, she slowly made her way into the main chamber where her frog collection had been steadily growing. Of course, she kept the purest frog in her sylladex for safekeeping - if something went wrong, that frog would take the least successive generations to get things back on track.

What she found on entering the main room wasn't exactly what she had been expecting. Not Ember, but a light purple unicorn with red eyes and an unnerving smile. It was Silver, judging by the axe she was wielding threateningly.

"Uh... hi?" Fluttershy began, in a shaky voice, while taking a few steps backwards towards the exit.

"Hi, Fluttershy," Silver said in a forced voice, mirroring Fluttershy's movements as she slowly stepped closer to the wary pegasus. "I don't suppose you've seen Ember around here anywhere, have you?"

"Ember? No..." Fluttershy froze as a clinking sound told her that her suit of armour had connected with the closed exit. She would need to turn around to open it, but something about the look in Silver's eyes said that would be a bad idea. "Uh, I'm sorry if you came all the way out here for nothing, uh..."

"Nothing? Oh, nonsense," Silver almost laughed, not ceasing her slow steps towards the terrified Seer. "It's just you, me, and a score to settle. What could be better?"

"Wh-what? What did I do!?" Fluttershy exclaimed, before crying out in surprise as Silver's axe connected with her helmet and bounced off with a deafening clang. That is, it connected with the armour instead of passing straight through Fluttershy without dealing any damage whatsoever. That shouldn't have happened.

"I never said it was a score between us," Silver said, once again swinging her axe into Fluttershy's armour and sending the pegasus tumbling to the ground. "Sorry about this."

"I, please..." Fluttershy pleaded, panic quickly building up inside her. She closed her eyes. "... help me..."

***

Across the Medium, throughout the incipisphere, the Seer's message rang out loud and clear to those with the ability to hear it.

... help... me...

Of those few who heard the call, only one knew its meaning and its relevance.

***

"So, Luna," Diamond said, as Ember rather hurriedly disappeared after delivering Summer and Applejack to their meeting point on Derse. "This may be a silly question, but... exactly how are we getting back to your session?"

"With this," Luna replied, lifting what looked like a large three dimensional MAP for Diamond to observe. Three spheres were arranged in a rounded triangle, with a large popamatic sphere in the centre. Within this central sphere was a grey dice with white spots that sported a ridiculous amount of faces, rendering any individual side almost impossible to discern. The three surrounding spheres were more recognisable as incipispheres, two of which Diamond knew very well, which suggested that the third was Luna's. "This is the Paradox Gate, which was created for me by the Echidna from our session. It can travel anywhere in any of our three incipispheres."

"I wonder if there's a reason why it's those three sessions particularly," Comet said thoughtfully. "That seems awfully convenient." Luna shrugged.

"I asked Echidna for a way to get help. Presumably she knew that this is where I could find it."

"OK, sure. I won't question it for now."

"Right then," Luna said, hoof poised above the Gate. "Is everypony ready?"

All ponies present; Comet, Summer, Applejack, Diamond, Twilight, and Comet, all nodded in unison. Luna lowered her hoof onto the dice-containing sphere, activating the Gate and sending them catapulting through time and space.

***

Suddenly, Ember.

A flash of light filled the room, quickly dissipating to reveal the Prince of Space standing proudly between Fluttershy and Silver, a look of pure determination in his eyes.

"Well," Silver said, a little disconcerted by his timely arrival. "How unexpected. And by unexpected I mean totally expected." What she hadn't been expecting, however, was for the far wall behind her to suddenly cave in, and for her to be swept off of her feet and out into the hills of LOTAF. Close behind her, Ember gave chase with his hammer in hoof, using it to smash large clumps of rock and earth towards the fleeing unicorn. Clearly, he was not in the mood. Flying up into the sky, Silver glanced around her for inspiration. She wasn't going to win this fight without thinking ahead, but thankfully she found the solution almost instantly - the large tower supporting Fluttershy's quest bed was in full view from her vantage point. Silver quickly began to soar towards it, narrowly avoiding another huge boulder as she made her way towards the tower.

Eventually landing at the base, she turned to face the oncoming Prince. The journey had been much more exhausting for him than it had been for her, but he was still angrily rushing towards her, blind to any indication of where he was. Perfect.

Hurriedly activating her own transportaliser, Silver teleported directly behind Ember as he swung his hammer at where she had been standing, carving a colossal chunk out of the mountain, causing it to tilt worryingly. Not giving him time to realize what had happened, Silver swung her axe into a perplexed Ember, sending him crashing into the already unstable support. A few moments later, and the entire structure collapsed on top of him, quest bed and all.

Silver waited for a few more moments, searching for any sign that there was a living pony left beneath the rubble. Finding none, she eventually took to the skies and began the journey back to Derse. That, as far as she was concerned, was that.

A fair distance away, Fluttershy sat with the frogs in the ectolab in a stunned silence, as she tried to process what had happened. She hadn't been able to see the details of the battle after it had left the building, although she had heard the collapsing dream tower. She just hoped that Ember had made it through OK. He had saved her, after all.

"She's gone," Ember said as he appearified next to her, quickly storing away the MAP. "But I think I broke your quest bed."

"Ember!" Fluttershy cried as she quickly got to her feet, unsure of whether to be relieved or annoyed. "You saved me!" Ember blinked, looking behind him at the enormous hole in the building, and the terrible carnage which littered the landscape beyond. Most of it had been his fault. He turned back to Fluttershy.

"So I did."

***

"I couldn't help but notice that this is taking a bit longer than ten minutes," Destiny said, Mild barely dodging out of her way in time as she swung her umbrella sword viciously through the air. "That fire's getting a whole lot more threatening, so could we try and wrap this up a bit quicker?"

"I like that plan," Rainbow agreed, nimbly ducking around oncoming needles as she tried to keep a possessed Rarity occupied. "That plan is good because I'm getting tired."

"If you want, then fine," Mild said, landing directly behind an immobile Rarity and drawing another knife. "This won't take that long." Realizing what was about to happen, Destiny rushed towards Rarity, only to be forced back by the unicorn's needles. "I don't think she wants you to save her," Mild said, finding the stupidity of the situation highly amusing. "Maybe you should just let her go?" The knife began its unnecessarily dramatic arc through the air towards Rarity.

"Rainbow, do something!" Destiny shouted to Rainbow, who was standing in silence with her eyes closed. "Or Rarity is going to-" A powerful gale suddenly appeared from nowhere, cutting off Destiny's cries and knocking Mild's knife out of his grasp. In fact, it knocked all three of the ponies who hadn't been expecting the wind off of their feet and into an uncomfortable heap at the base of the temple. Glancing back at Rainbow, Destiny allowed herself to gasp in surprise as she saw the pegasus in mid-air, the gale flowing around her. "What are you doing?!" Destiny managed to yell above the noise of the wind, to which Rainbow answered by scattering Destiny, Mild, and Rarity apart with another blast of wind. Then Mild found himself lifted up by another powerful gust, only to be slammed back to the ground by 70mph winds. Somewhere in the distance, a triumphant fanfare sounded as the Thief and the Rogue faced each other.

"So, Mild," Rainbow said, unable to keep the smug grin off her face. "Feel like running?" The grin soon evaporated as Mild gave his reply.

"I've had enough of running." Flinging himself into the air to meet Rainbow, Mild wasted no time in viciously slashing at the stunned pegasus. Shouting from Destiny and Rarity reached his ears, as Rainbow Dash dropped out of the suddenly calm sky and dropped lifelessly to the ground. "I've had enough of wasting time." This time taking control of Destiny, he smiled as she knocked the needles away from a surprised Rarity and rather unceremoniously cut her body off of her head. Finally descending from his vantage point to stand beside the possessed Destiny just as he had attempted to do earlier, he retrieved one of his knives from Rainbow's body. "And I have definitely had enough of not being taken seriously." And with that, Mild swiftly added Destiny to his rapidly growing collection of dead ponies. "Shit just got real, motherfuckers."

***END OF ACT 3 INTERMISSION 1***

Chapter 28

View Online

***ACT 3 ACT 2***

"And you're certain that they'll do what we want them to?" Silver Edge asked Mild, as the winged unicorn returned to the Land of Pillars and Doors.

"I'm not entirely certain," Mild admitted. He had left the battle on LOWAF when Luna and her reinforcements had arrived. He had been hoping to finish off Golden, but regrettably he had only managed to injure Silver Heart and Celestia. "But they probably will, and causality should hopefully do the rest." Silver considered that for a moment, before nodding.

"I guess that's acceptable. So..." she gestured to a sleeping Golden Shine who was lying peacefully on the ground next to them. "Should we put him in yet?" Although Golden's dream self still had a calm smile on his face, a worrying amount of blood was exiting him corresponding with the real Golden's injuries.

"It couldn't hurt, I guess," Mild said. "Sure, whatever, throw him in." Nodding, Silver lifted up the sleeping unicorn, and threw him in.

And that was that. There's no real need to be any more specific about what happened than that, to be perfectly honest. It's not like anyone cares. It's just a thing. A thing that Golden was totally just thrown into. In the same manner that anyone would throw Golden into an object of similar size and shape to the thing in question.

"So, what do you want to do now?" Mild asked, after Silver had finished throwing Golden into the thing which will only be referred to as 'the thing which Golden was thrown into'.

"Well, there's 12 ponies left in this session," Silver said. "Take your pick."

"I feel like a foal in a sweet shop," Mild replied tersely. "A sweet shop that sells incredibly irritating talking sweets filled with blood."

***

"Well it's about time," Celestia said grumpily, the pain in her side still fresh from when a stray knife had unexpectedly caught her. "Some of us are in pain over here." She thought for a moment. "Oh, and one of us is actually dying. That's probably more important."

"Cute," Comet said, as Applejack rushed past the others to where Golden was lying, already equipping her My Little Trauma Centre. "Is that it, or is there anything else we need to know about?"

"I assume you already know about the two complete bastards we've got running around, since they're your responsibility," Celestia said, to which Comet narrowed his eyes slightly. "So no, there isn't really anything else. Thanks, by the way."

"Hm? Oh yeah, sure," Comet nodded, as he made his way over to Star Swirl, who was sitting away from the others. "I take it you're AW?" Star Swirl nodded. "Heh, I've been waiting for this."

While Comet and Star Swirl spoke, the others were more concerned with Golden. Applejack had been able to stop his bleeding, but he was still far from healthy - to the extent that he had long since stopped offering any sarcastic comments on the situation.

"Is there anything else you can do for him?" Silver asked, as Applejack returned her My Little Trauma Centre to her sylladex. The earth pony shook her head.

"He'll be fine. He just needs some rest," Applejack assured her. "This gives us all some time to get acquainted. Ah'm Applejack." She extended a hoof towards Silver, who shook it warily.

"Well, of course you are," Silver said. "And that's definitely a thing which doesn't need any kind of explanation. It's probably just more weird time shit."

"Actually, it's weird space shit," Diamond corrected. Noticing her for the first time, Silver opened her mouth as if to comment on how much she didn't understand anything, only to think better of it and close her mouth again. "Or is it? Basically, we're from different universes. That's why this is so stupid."

"Uh." Silver stared blankly at Diamond. "I don't get it." Diamond sighed, raising a hoof to her head.

"Don't worry about it, it's not important. The point is that you need help, and we're here to help," Diamond said. "So let's not worry about the fact that we look the same, or that Applejack is one of your cultural heroes, or that Celestia over there is one of ours, and just get on with what we need to do. Does that sound OK?" Silver shrugged. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Wait wait wait wait wait!" Celestia cried suddenly, barging in front of Silver. "So, where you're from, I'm a cultural hero!?"

"Well, I guess," Diamond said. "You're a princess." Celestia gave her a look which quite plainly indicated that 'princess' wasn't the awe-inspiring title she had been hoping for. Diamond sighed again. "You're in charge of everything and you control the sun."

"Awesome," Celestia said, clearly much happier with that role. "Wait, even if I accept that Equestria has a monarchy in your universe for some reason... why is a princess in charge?" There was silence, in which Diamond scratched her head awkwardly while Celestia glared around the group. Eventually Twilight spoke up.

"Uh, it's because there are two princesses, you and Luna. You control the sun, and she controls the moon..." Twilight paused as Celestia turned to glare at her, but continued when Celestia nodded thoughtfully. "And, uh... rather than one of you claim the title of 'Queen', you both agreed to remain princesses, I think. To sort of show that you consider both of your opinions to be equal, and that kind of thing... um." She trailed off, and another pause followed, which Celestia eventually broke.

"Laaaaaaame," she said, turning to Luna. "Hey Luna, if anything like that ever happens, I'm taking all the power for myself. Just so we're clear."

"You do realise that I'm a God, right?" Luna pointed out, to which Celestia looked away sheepishly. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Well, that's why you two are important where we're from," Summer said. "So why is AJ a cultural hero where you're from?"

"Not just her. Twilight Sparkle is as well, along with Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie," Luna recited. "They are the six founders of Equestria. Without them, Equestria, computers, our legal system, healthcare, everything that makes up society... just wouldn't exist." She paused for effect. "Or at least, they made those things happen. Society probably would have happened at some point regardless, but that's not the point."

"Blimey," Summer said, a sentiment which most of the other assembled ponies seemed to share. "Not bad, AJ."

"Wait a minute," Comet said angrily, as he and Star Swirl returned to the group. "So this session contains ponies of cultural significance for the universe we're from. And Twilight's session consists entirely of ponies that are culturally significant to the universe these guys are from." Summer waited for a few seconds to see if he was going to make his point.

"So?"

"So," he said slowly, "how come none of us are cultural heroes for anyone?" Summer rolled her eyes.

"Because no one cares about you," she stated.

"That applies to you too, dumbass," Comet retorted, only to be smacked on the back of the head by Celestia.

"Watch your language around a princess," Celestia said smugly, her head still filled with images of the dreadful tyranny she was no doubt wrecking upon this other universe.

"And that's another thing," Comet began, at which Summer and Twilight simultaneously lifted their hooves to cover their pained expressions. "I don't give a flying fuck which Celestia is from which universe. But she," he pointed a hoof meaningfully at Celestia. "She is not the same pony as Princess Celestia. I think we're forgetting that fact. So let's just agree that, while there exists an Applejack who created the legal system from the ground up, and while there exists a Celestia who isn't an impatient tyrannical idiot, neither of those ponies have anything to do with our current situation."

"I heartily object to that assessment," Celestia announced, before shrugging and leaping away. "But whatever. Let me know when you guys are all done making friends."

"Well, anyway," Star Swirl said, aware of the vanishingly small amount of time they had left. "We really do need to get things back on track, while we still have a Skaia to save."

"Yeah," Summer agreed, "so how do you want to play this? Do we split up for efficiency, or stay together for safety?"

"Staying together would be preferable," Star Swirl admitted. "But that really isn't practical." They had considerably less than a full day left, and none of their denizens had been defeated. More to the point, the frog wasn't finished yet. "OK, three groups, two to go out and defeat the other four denizens, and one to stay here and make the frog."

"Ah guess that'll work," Applejack said. "So that'll be three in a group, plus Golden who should probably stay here." Suddenly she and Comet cried out, as Summer grabbed onto one of them and kicked the other a little more viciously than was necessary.

"Me and Applejack are in one group," Summer stated, "and Comet is in the other group."

"What the hell did you kick me for?" Comet yelled, picking himself up off of the dirt. Star Swirl glanced at Luna quizzically.

"Are you sure these guys can actually help?" he asked, to which Luna shrugged.

"Probably."

***

CrOmes must be observed to be penalized.

The inscription on the large entrance to Nyx's palace had once begun 'Crimes', but the original text had been obscured by a small crater. There were many such craters on the surface of the wall, which - curiously enough - seemed to increase in number the longer Summer continued firing at the stone barrier.

"Well, that didn't work," Summer announced, having spent the last few minutes shooting at random spots on the door in front of them. "Everypony stand back. I'm going to try intelligence."

"You're going to wha-" Luna began, only to stop as Summer sprinted headfirst into the solid stone wall. "Ouch."

"Summer," Applejack said, with the tone of someone who had dealt with this kind of thing for several hours, "None of us are questioning your role as the comedian of the group. So stop proving it."

"I'm not sure that's what comedian means," Summer replied, rubbing her head painfully. "Doesn't that imply some amount of thought?"

"Noted," Applejack said dryly, her words reflecting the net result of spending too much time around Summer and Comet. "Ah apologise for my flagrant misuse of the word 'comedian' as a synonym for 'imbecile'. Now, how are we getting this door open?"

"I've got an idea," Luna said. "'Crimes must be observed to be penalized'. This means that if my Voidy thing conceals me, I can break laws."

"Uh. Right," Applejack said, a little confused by what Luna was getting at. "How does that help?"

"Watch," Luna said, before pausing. "Actually, don't watch, or this won't work." Flexing her wings, Luna beckoned the shadows from all over the planet towards her, coalescing them into a sphere around her. Then she walked up to the wall, and carried on going. While Summer and Applejack watched this with bemused looks on their faces, the wall began sliding downwards with a deafeningly loud creaking sound, until the way into the palace was exposed with a triumphant Luna on the inside.

"Huh. What was that all about?" Applejack asked.

"I walked through the doorway, and then I unlocked the door," Luna said. "Thus violating the law of causality."

"Since when did Void powers let you do that?" Summer asked, finding Luna's last stretch of logic a little too much to swallow.

"I don't think they do. This wall must be enchanted or something. It was just a clue for the riddle," Luna said, glancing around the palace as they explored.

"Huh. Is it me, or are the riddles in this game getting increasingly abstract?"

"Can't say Ah've noticed."

***

"This is hardly fair," Comet complained as Luna dropped him, Twilight, and Star Swirl off on the Land of Souls and Spirit. "You guys all got awesome planets."

"Why, what were yours like?" Star Swirl asked. Comet shrugged.

"Mine was a bunch of temples filled with dead turtles, and Twilight's was a dying world filled with iguanas trapped in a time bubble to delay their inevitable destruction."

"Huh." Star Swirl was quiet for a few moments. "Well, variety is the spice of life."

"What's your world like?" Twilight asked. The pathway to Silver's denizen was stretched out before them, in all of its aggravatingly drawn out majesty.

"Lots of pillars," Star Swirl replied stiffly. "And doors."

"Doors? What, there were a load of doors just propped upright in the middle of nowhere?" Comet asked. Star Swirl nodded.

"Well, not just the doors. They were on little platforms with raised steps and everything. But they weren't connected to any buildings or anything."

"Did you try opening them?" Twilight said thoughtfully.

"Well, yeah, that was the first thing I thought about," Star Swirl said. "That maybe they were portals to another location or something. But you could look right through the open door, the other side was exactly what you would expect. Nothing magic about it."

"That just seems... redundant," Comet said. "Now I'm convinced that half the planets in this game are made by choosing two nouns at random and arranging lots of them around a sphere." He gestured around them at the surrounding landscape. "This is the cool kind of planet, the kind where you take a concept and expand it to create a whole world."

"What would you have wanted your planet to be, then?" Twilight asked Comet. She still found the mechanics of Sburb to be fascinating, although she hadn't had a chance to discuss them up until that point. "If you could choose its name." The Page was silent for a while, in which the group continued their progress towards the palace of Abraxas.

"The Land of Knowledge and Helpfulness," Comet eventually replied. "Filled with consorts who are both knowledgeable and helpful, and who will tell me things about the game in a straightforward and linear fashion. I would have liked that."

"Oh, where's the fun in that?" Twilight said. "Who doesn't love a good riddle?"

"Me."

***

"I'm surprised you agreed to let me come with you," Golden remarked to no one in particular. Silver shot him back an odd look.

"As opposed to leaving you undefended while you're still vulnerable?"

"Hey," Golden protested, "I'm not vulnerable. I'm just a bit fragile at the moment." Silver rolled her eyes, before throwing another frog back to him, which he caught and captchalogued in one smooth motion. "My incredible amphibian catching skills notwithstanding."

"Whatever. We'd never hear the end of it if we left you out," Silver said, causing Golden to sigh dramatically. "So anyway, Diamond. You're a Prospit dreamer like me, and..." she gestured for Diamond to continue.

"Yeah. I'm a Prospit dreamer, and Silver - Silver Edge that is - is a Derse dreamer. But for a while both of our dream selves were just sharing one body. When one dream self was asleep, it was in charge of the body, and when the other fell asleep they would take over and the first dream self would wake up again," Diamond said, no one but Silver showing any interest whatsoever in her story. "And then I was killed soon after I entered my planet. I'm not really sure what killed me, but someone must have revived my dead body, which resulted in both dream selves becoming fully aware and separate entities. One of whom is a complete bitch."

"Which one is that?" Celestia asked, earning glowering looks from both Silver and Diamond. "I know, I know! It was a joke..."

"That's hardly fair," Golden said despondently. "If I'd said that I would have been kicked." Silver shook her head and nodded for Diamond to continue.

"So yeah, that was all making some amount of sense until I found out about you. But at the same time, we also knew that 'Celestia' and 'Luna' were in your session, and that Luna was under the impression that Fluttershy created Equestria," Diamond said. "At which point it became obvious that you lot are all from a different universe to my lot - similar, containing slightly altered versions of the ponies in my universe, but still very different."

"So, does that mean that Silver Edge is my parallel-universe equivalent?" Silver wondered. "Or... are you?" Diamond thought about that for a moment.

"Fuck if I know."

***

"So, where you're from," Luna asked with interest, willing to try anything in order to break the monotony of the endless waves of enemies that prevented their progress through the palace of Void. "What am 'I' like?"

"Oh, Princess Luna's a real nice pony," Applejack said, struggling to focus on what she was saying when she was also fighting off a horde of Void Imps. "Once ya get to know her. Although she does have a bit of a temper..."

"And she has to really try in order to speak normally," Summer added. "Or she'll just revert back to speaking in archaic language. Force of habit, I guess."

"I... see." Luna was quiet for a while, until the current wave had been defeated. "So, have I done anything particularly important?" Briefly, images of the time when Nightmare Moon had kidnapped Celestia flashed across Applejack's mind, but she decided against telling Luna about her occasionally homicidal tendencies.

"Well, you're responsible for the night," Summer said. "Since you control the moon."

Wait. What?

"Hold on a minute," Luna said, trying to sort things out in her head. "So, where you're from, the sun and the moon don't move by themselves?"

"Nope," Applejack confirmed. "It's all done by the princesses."

"That's..." Luna was dumbfounded for a few moments. "That doesn't make anything even resembling sense. Maybe I could believe that maybe, I don't know, the planet was tidally locked to its star, and maybe the princesses forced the planet to rotate. That would be fine. But... you're making it sound like the moon and the sun have to take it in turns to be in the sky or something."

"Well of course they do," Applejack said. "Otherwise they'd hit each other."

"I." Luna made a mental note to never have a conversation about the physics of Applejack's universe ever again. "OK. Sure. Whatever. Let's get moving."

***

"Wait a minute," Twilight gasped in horror as they reached the palace of Hope, causing Comet and Star Swirl to glance in her direction with vaguely concerned expressions. "I just realised, you... you're... you're actually Star Swirl the Bearded, aren't you!" Comet stared intently at Star Swirl, then glanced back at Twilight.

"I can't imagine what gave you the idea that anyone has ever referred to this guy as 'bearded'."

"No," Twilight shook her head, "but he's from a different universe, isn't he? Like Luna and Celestia are counterparts of the princesses, Star Swirl... is the counterpart to Star Swirl the Bearded from our universe!"

"I'm... who?" Star Swirl asked, not really understanding what Twilight was on about.

"Well, basically, in my universe, you're a famous scholar!" Twilight exclaimed, glad to have finally found perhaps the only pony other than her who wanted to learn about Star Swirl the Bearded. "Wait, not just that, you're the most important conjurer of the pre-classical era! You're the father of the amniomorphic spell! You created hundreds of new spells, you greatly advanced temporal wave theory, and you have a whole wing of the Royal Canterlot Library named after you!"

"Uh..." Star Swirl wasn't sure what the correct response to all of that was. It was nice to think that - at least in one universe - he had managed to achieve something resembling his long term goals. On the other hand, that seemed an odd way to be remembered. "One wing, you say? Who are the others named after?"

"Oh, well, you've got to share with all the other accumulated heroes and legendary figures of several thousand years," Twilight pointed out. "At least you get an entire wing. Thunder Dust the Mighty only has one of the shelves in the transmutation wing."

"Can we stop," Comet interjected, while Star Swirl digested the information. "Can we stop going on about how brilliant each of you are IN A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE? I don't want to hear how Star Swirl's other self has part of a library named after him. Nor do I want to know the details of Twilight's inspired creation of the first ever CPU or whatever it is she did. I want us to go inside this building," he gestured to the palace. "I want us to find the ugly son of a bitch living there," he aimed a hoof at the engraving above the door, which seemed to show a half rooster, half snake denizen. "And I want us to beat the everloving crap out of him. Do either of you have a problem with that?" No one spoke. "In that case, let's go."

***

[homelessChicken began pestering mushroomAddict]

HC: Hey Ember...

MA: oH HI

MA: wHATS UP

MA: i SEE YOURE STILL ALIVE

HC: Just about, yeah! <:D

HC: Listen, uh... I'm on LOSAF and...

HC: Everypony's dead, Ember.

MA: wAIT WHAT

HC: Everypony's dead.

HC: Everypony's dead, Ember.

MA: rAINBOW IS DEAD?

HC: She's dead, Ember.

MA: yOU MEAN LIKE dead DEAD?

HC: Well, no, she still has a dream self actually.

HC: But everypony is still pretty damn dead over here.

MA: eVEN dESTINY?

HC: She's dead too, Ember.

MA: wHAT ABOUT rARITY?

HC: Everypony is dead, Ember.

MA: sO...

MA: rARITY AND rAINBOW AND dESTINY... THEYRE ALL...

HC: Ember. Everypony is so utterly fucking dead, Ember.

MA: ...

MA: fUCK

HC: Exactly. That is the only correct response to this, because the fact remains.

HC: That everypony.

HC: Is dead.

MA: wHICH ASSHOLE DID THAT

HC: As far as I can tell? Mild.

MA: dAMN

HC: Anyway. Enough of this nonsense.

HC: Rainbow should be waking up soon. First, come and pick me up from LOSAF, and then you should go and get her.

HC: I'm not sure when it happened, but I have the strangest feeling that the shit is now officially real, so we should probably be sticking together.

HC: Safety in numbers and all that.

MA: yEAH ok

HC: I'll see you in a bit, then. <:D

[homelessChicken ceased pestering mushroomAddict]

***

"Ow..." Rainbow Dash still hadn't grown used to waking up in severe pain. The total darkness was new, though. Slowly lifting herself up and glancing around, she realised she was in a rather cramped tube, one end of which led out into the alleyways beneath the streets of Derse. Or somewhere else where everything was a dark purple colour, but given the circumstances she suspected that it was probably Derse. What had she been doing? She vaguely recalled being on LOSAF with Destiny and Rarity, and then Mild had... oh right, yeah.

Emerging from the pipe where she had been hidden away, Rainbow looked out into the open air. There was no sign of Luna, or Acapella, or indeed anyone. Even having a Silver Edge to battle would have suited her more than this. She shivered.

"Oh, you're awake." Almost jumping backwards in surprise, Rainbow spun around to see a rather sleepy Fluttershy waving back at her. "I thought I should come and make sure you were alright when you woke up, but... I'm a bit tired."

"Why did you know I was going to wake up?" Rainbow asked, unable to shake the feeling that she had missed quite a lot.

"Acapella told me. She flew off to LOSAF after the others left, and revived you..." Fluttershy looked down sadly. "But... Rarity and Destiny, they... they're..."

"Oh." Fluttershy didn't need to finish the sentence. "Well... damn." She paused for a few moments while that news sunk in. They were dead. Completely. Destiny... Rainbow hadn't gotten to know Destiny that well. But Rarity. Rarity and Rainbow had had their differences, and had quarrelled on more than one occasion about less than important matters, but now... now Rainbow just felt a little stupid for all of the pointless arguments the two had ever had with each other. Not that she supposed it mattered. Fluttershy, on the other hand... those two had been close. "Are you OK?"

"Oh, I'm... I'm fine..." Fluttershy said, in a thoroughly unconvincing voice. "I just need some time, that's all." She was blatantly lying through her teeth, but Rainbow let it go. "Uh... I'm probably going back to LOTAF now, and... I think that all of us should probably go there. Safety in numbers, right?" Rainbow nodded. "I'll go on ahead, and then I'll get Ember to bring you and Acapella over safely." Rainbow nodded.

"Sounds good."

***

"Well really!" Rarity exclaimed, as she watched Fluttershy go back to sleep, leaving Rainbow by herself. "I don't get so much as a parting word!"

"Knock it off," Pinkie moaned. The Bard hadn't been entertaining her most recent visitor for long, but she was already fed up with Rarity's depressing mood. "You and I both know perfectly well that both of them are feeling devastated. They're just putting on brave faces for the other." Rarity was silent for a while.

"Yes, I know. I wonder, will they ever be able to talk to me, like this?"

"Potentially," Pinkie said. "If Rainbow falls asleep I can probably bring her in here. And... there may be ways for you to present yourself to them. You are a hero of Heart, after all."

"I wonder about that," Rarity said. "Since when did 'Heart powers' make me able to split my consciousness in the way you say I can?"

"Since 'Light powers' meant control of luck," Pinkie replied. "And since 'Space powers' meant the ability to breed amphibians. It's not necessarily a literal translation. Think of it as equivalent to 'Soul'. So you could be called a Witch of Souls."

"And there's another thing," Rarity said. "Since we're on the subject, why am I a Witch!?" Pinkie sighed, having anticipated this complaint.

"A Witch isn't necessarily a bad thing. As a Witch, you have unrivalled control over your aspect, and you can use it to benefit the entire group," Pinkie explained. "A Witch of Heart is an interesting combination. I was rather looking forward to seeing what you would have been able to do."

"Don't go talking like it's my fault!" Rarity objected. "It's alright for you, Pinkie, you're immortal now. You just have to sit around watching everything until you can fix everything, or whatever it is you're going to do."

"I hope I can," Pinkie said simply. "There won't be much room for error. Everything will have to be absolutely perfect."

"Given our track record so far, I doubt it'll go so smoothly," Rarity pointed out. Pinkie just shrugged.

"Nothing that's happened so far has deviated from the plan. It all had to have happened in the way it did." The scene below them changed, as Rarity was reminded of the death of her dream self. Below them, an unsuspecting Witch was instantly killed with a rocket launcher. "If you hadn't died, the prototyping tower would never have collapsed, and Rainbow's meteor wouldn't have exploded. Then she would have died."

"She died anyway," Rarity pointed out.

"Yes, but this way she had another body to inhabit. Rainbow has to be alive for what will happen in the future. Now, picking another example..." The scene changed once more, this time showing Mild as an earth pony, surrounded by huge towering steampunk buildings. As Rarity watched, an all too familiar being swept out of the sky and instantly killed him. Discord. "When Discord killed Mild in Comet's session, that was when everything started to go wrong. But if this hadn't happened, Mild wouldn't have attacked our session. Or Celestia's session, for that matter."

"And that would have been a bad thing... why?" Rarity asked, completely lost in Pinkie's logic. Pinkie paused before answering, her eyes filled with grief.

"Because if our session were to succeed, then everything we have ever known would cease to be."

***

"I'm... surprised, to say the least," Discord said, as Mild recounted his victory on LOTAF. "So that's... what, nine ponies you've killed now? And two of those finished them off completely. Compared with my four killed, two permanently... and of course Silver's one killed, and another killed indirectly. Not bad, Mild." Mild gave him an odd look.

"Not bad, when I actually have the highest count?" Discord smiled thinly.

"You also have the highest count of 'tactical retreats', the highest count of causing another member of the team to flip their respective lids, and the highest count of enemies that you've accidentally allowed to ascend," Discord pointed out. "So that kind of reduces the net amount of good you've done."

"What about Silver?" Mild asked meaningfully. "She's retreated from Ember twice now."

"That's still less than you," Discord said. "Besides, Ember may be an idiot, but he's not easy to take down. And before you mention the fact that you took out his real self, which was acting through another pony who shot him in the back while he was focused on you. Besides, he's a lot angrier now."

"Whatever," Mild said, having grown bored of the argument once it had become clear that he was going to lose. "Do we really need to stick around any longer? Can't we just get going?"

"Not yet," Discord said. "I hope I don't need to remind you about the risks involved in our plan. We aren't putting this plan into motion until the events in Celestia's session are good and finished. Otherwise there's no guarantee that any of us, Silver included, will still exist by the end. And that would completely ruin the 'control over reality' buzz."

"True enough," Mild conceded. "What do you think we should do in the meantime, then?"

"Well, there's 5 ponies left in this session," Discord said. "Take your pick."

Chapter 29

View Online

"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting this," Summer said. "I mean, I've seen a couple of denizens in my day. Cetus attacked us for no reason, and Hemera was almost suspiciously cooperative. But..."

"But at least they all turned up," Applejack finished, as the three ponies walked further into the completely empty throne room. "Does this mean we win?" The lack of a giant mountain of grist seemed to suggest that the answer was 'no', which was rather frustrating. "Well, what do we do now?"

"I suggest we get drunk and set fire to things," Summer suggested, smiling innocently when Applejack shot her an odd look. "Then again, we don't have anything to drink. Hey Applejack, how long would it take you to grow an apple tree, harvest it, and then make cider out of the apples? Give or take?"

"Ah'm not going to justify that with a response," Applejack responded. "What's up, anyway? Y'all've been acting strange lately." Summer was quiet for a few minutes, as she struggled through Applejack's impressive command of apostrophes.

"No I haven't," she eventually replied. "I've just been... you know, thinking. About... stuff."

"Thinking is the one thing you ain't been doing," Applejack pointed out. "And before you ask again for the umpteenth time, no, for the love of cinnamon swirls, that was not a euphemism... whatever that even means."

"Point taken," Summer said. "Sorry."

"Now, can we try to think of some helpful suggestions?" Applejack asked meaningfully. Summer nodded. "How about you, Luna?" The winged and horned earth pony looked up from the floor at the mention of her name. "You've been quiet for a while."

"Oh, yeah, sorry..." Luna apologised, her attention already returning to the carvings on the stone floor of the throne room. They clearly had some sort of meaning... "Can anyone speak consort?"

"I had to once, for a puzzle," Summer said, walking over to where Luna was standing. "But I think that each species has its own language. I can only speak iguana."

"Well, that's OK," Luna said happily. "My consorts were iguanas. Before they all died, anyway." Summer glanced back at Applejack and winked.

"It's a good thing we have Luck on our side, right?" Summer said, glancing down to inspect the carvings. "OK, let's see what we've got here..." An assortment of amphibians and intricate punctuation marks stared up at her from the stone. Briefly, Summer wondered if the excessively anxious personalities that most of the consorts shared had anything to do with how unnerving it was to read their language. Each individual letter stared blankly outwards with cold, dead eyes, highlighting the difficulties associated with trying to draw on a stone slab. Frankly, a culture that lived in fear of its own alphabet wouldn't have surprised Summer in the slightest. She shook her head. "Yeah, denizen, chosen hero, blah blah blah... It's all pretty standard fare for a denizen throne room. Nothing looks particularly different."

"Oh. Well, it was worth a try," Luna sighed exasperatedly. A few seconds of silence passed, which the Witch spent fuming silently. This planet was starting to rub her up the wrong way.

"Was that a euphemism?" Summer asked. Luna and Applejack exchanged confused glances.

"Neither of us said anything," Luna said, to which Summer shrugged.

"I know. I just got the strangest feeling that I was needed." Summer shook her head. "But I'll be damned if I have the slightest idea what's going on. Maybe this is just another puzzle?"

"What exactly are ya suggesting?" Applejack asked. "Nyx is still waiting around somewhere?"

"I don't know, I'm not the one with the Void powers. You're up, Luna," Summer said cheerfully, before leaping away and leaving Luna in the middle of the throne room by herself. Well, anything would be better than doing nothing, Luna reasoned, so she closed her eyes and did a Voidy thing.

Almost instantly, the temperature in the throne room dropped rapidly, and huge plumes of black cloud accumulated around Luna in an expanding sphere. She closed her eyes, her mind reaching through the darkness for any sign of the missing denizen.

I am a tree.

Suddenly, Luna's mind was filled with the image of a huge forest, stretching for miles in all directions. Hundreds of thousands of trees, all distinct, but all the same. Except one.

I am a tree. How will you find a tree in the forest?

Luna, in her mind's eye, paused in contemplation above the trees, before sending huge fireballs careering through the trees, demolishing huge swathes of green, and filling the air with smoke and flames. And then, almost as quickly as the destruction had started, it stopped. Luna was alone in a plain covered in lush grass, except for one tree. The tree. Nyx?

I am a tree, and I am hiding in a forest.

Luna blinked, and in that instant the scene around her changed completely, as she once again found herself surrounded by dense forest. Gasping in surprise, her eyes opened, and her awareness returned to the empty throne room. Not that she could see any of it, because it was still flooded by darkness. What was all of that forest nonsense about? Nyx was hiding somewhere in the dark? For apparently no reason, Luna suddenly recalled the stone tablet she had found on the surface.

something about nyx

shes important i think

i guess you could just fly around until you see something

Searching through the forest, or the mist, until she found Nyx was entirely the wrong way to go about finding the missing denizen. Nyx wasn't hiding herself in the darkness... Nyx was the darkness. To find her, all Luna had to do was fly around and watch the clouds below. At that moment, it suddenly occurred to Luna that she was surrounded on all sides by the most powerful entity on her entire planet.

Boo.

A few seconds later, Luna was vaguely aware of Summer and Applejack helping her to her feet, after she had been tossed effortlessly into the stone wall. In the centre of the throne room, the mist collected itself, huge amounts of the solid black cloud appearing from the edges of the room and joining the large clump of darkness in the centre. Eventually, two gleaming white eyes appeared from within the dark.

"So sorry to keep you in the dark for so long," Nyx said, in a horribly loud whisper that echoed off the walls in ways that defied explanation. "But I had to make sure that there was enough atmosphere." Summer groaned dramatically.

"Don't tell me that this conversation is going to be non-stop darkness and/or cloud puns... I don't think I could take it."

"It's true, I don't have the witty lines I once did," Nyx admitted, almost sounding hurt. "I'm just a shade of my former self."

"GOG DAMNIT!" Summer yelled, equipping her rifle and firing a few shots directly into the large clump of darkness, which promptly dispersed and began drifting across the ground towards the three heroes. "I am NOT going to sit here and listen to this bullshit. Does anypony have a problem with that?"

"Nope."

"Can't say Ah do."

"Well then," Summer said, clubbing away an approaching tendril of cloud, "I guess this quest is finally getting interesting."

***

"'Oh, it's just a little way in, Silver'," Silver Heart grumbled under her breath as she trudged through the winding caverns beneath the surface of LOWAF. "'There's no way you can miss it Silver, it's right there in front of you Silver.'" She had spent the last 10 minutes staggering aimlessly through the tunnels, and still she hadn't found any frogs. "'It's right there Silver, just go in and grab it Silver', stupid lousy... oh, shit." Silver's complaining was cut short, as she came face to face with a fork in the path. Two tunnels stretched away from her in opposite directions, both of them equally ominous. Celestia hadn't mentioned anything about this. She sighed deeply. "Well, it's a 50/50 chance, but I am a hero of Hope... maybe that'll make a difference?"

Probably not, she reflected, as she cautiously proceeded down the left path.

***

"Frankly, it bothers me," Mild stated. "Sure, there's nothing they can do with it, and ultimately it makes no difference either way, but..." He shrugged. "I don't know, as long as they're working towards that frog it feels like they're plotting something."

"Then what do you want to do about it?" Silver asked, already bored of the conversation. "If you're so worried about it, let's go kill them all. Wouldn't that be the easiest thing to do?"

"But, we kill all of them." Mild pointed out. "It's not the right time for some of them." Silver shrugged.

"Frankly I don't give a shit. Your obsession with preserving the timeline has caused more problems than it's solved," Silver said. "The sooner you realise that all of our actions fit exactly into a Nash equilibrium, the better."

"You're just making up words now," Mild accused. Silver rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, you keep on believing that. The point is, the only reason the future happens is because we, acting on our own impulses and opinions combined with our knowledge of the future, have made it happen," Silver explained. "We can decide the degree to which we let the future decide our actions, but whatever we decide will be represented in the future that we already know about. Which means that what we know about the future, through a combination of our independent actions and the actions which we make based on our knowledge of the future, must and will come to pass. Anything else is not in equilibrium." Mild was quiet for a few moments.

"Right... so, when did you get a doctorate in temporal bullshit?" He gave her a strange look. "You're Hope, not Time."

"True," Silver agreed. "But what does that prove, anyway? Neither of us are Space, but we know enough about it to understand our current situation better than Ember ever could."

"The same applies to everyone else, about everything," Mild stated. "That doesn't mean either of us could explain why all three sessions are arranged in the pattern that they're arranged in. Well, I mean, he probably could, but... I guess he's a special case." Silver nodded. "So I'm going to assume that one of the Time guys told you about it?"

"Kind of, I guess..." Silver waved a hoof around in a way that suggested that she didn't want to talk about it any more. "So anyway... we were just about to go and kill everyone on LOWAF?" Mild shrugged.

"You can go and do something if you want. I'm going to stick with the old plan," the Thief said. "Which, if you remember, was to kill as many of our old group as you can before he gets here."

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Silver said absently. "But like I said, even you can't do anything wrong. Or at least, you can't do anything that will change the future. It's going to happen the way we know it will."

"Keep holding onto that," Mild said. "I wonder how far you'll get believing that."

***

"Ah, hello," Abraxas called happily to the three approaching ponies, his light hearted tone catching them off guard. "I'm Abraxas, otherwise known as the 'ugly son of a bitch' who lives here." Star Swirl and Twilight turned to glare at Comet.

"What!?" Comet demanded. "He's the denizen of Hope, not the denizen of Sound, how the hell was I supposed to know he could hear me?"

"I think you're missing the point," Star Swirl said. "But never mind. The point is," he turned to Abraxas, who seemed happy enough despite Comet's stellar negotiation skills. "The point is that we're on a tight schedule at the moment, and we don't really have to time to put up with denizens who try to get clever. So I don't suppose you could just hand over the grist and save all of us a lot of time?"

"Well, when you put it like that..." the rooster-snake tapped his head with the tip of his tail thoughtfully. "Nah. Why would I miss out on a perfectly good fight? This is going to be fun!"

"Oh gog," Comet said. "He's Ember. He's Ember, only smarter, and more powerful, and he's actively trying to kill us instead of just accidentally killing us with his own stupidity."

"There's another difference," Twilight called out as the three ponies leapt in different directions to escape the collapsing platform that they had been standing on. "We can do everything in our power to kill this guy." In response, Comet's encyclopaedia shot forwards and upwards, swinging into the denizen's head from below. Leaping towards the distracted enemy, and catching the fifty tomes which suddenly appeared around him, Comet unleashed a devastating whirlwind of light reading upon a defenceless Abraxas, before sending all fifty books back in time by several seconds and rushing over to where Twilight was standing. He gave her an odd look.

"What do you mean by 'difference'?" Twilight shook her head.

"Never mind. Let's just go already." Comet nodded, and the two ponies began charging towards a very angry Abraxas, their respective time travelling books at the ready. Quickly drawing closer, even while dodging the oncoming attacks, both Comet and Twilight were becoming increasingly worried by the amount of awesomeness that wasn't happening.

"Hey, Twilight," Comet said calmly, while ducking under the oncoming boulders as Abraxas began knocking huge chunks of his throne towards them, which carved up huge slabs of stone from the floor as they crashed towards the two heroes. "The plan is for us to attack and then go back in time to join the attack, and so ad infinitum, right?"

"Yeah," Twilight said, sharing similar concerns. "So... where are our future selves?" Both ponies leapt across a large gash in the floor, leaving them almost directly beneath the denizen.

"Well, I can think of one explanation," Comet said. Twilight nodded. "But either way, it's been a pleasure, Sparkles."

"Yeah," Twilight agreed, drawing her quill as a large green tail began swinging towards them. "Hey, where's Star Swirl?" As they watched, the tail's descent slowed, before stopping completely. Turning around, Twilight was greeted with the sight of a very exhausted-looking Star Swirl, his eyes closed in concentration and his horn glowing brightly.

"Guys." Star Swirl managed through gritted teeth. "Don't. Just. Stand. There. This. Isn't. Easy. Do. Something. Quickly. Would. Make. My. Day."

"That's pretty impressive," Comet mused, as a small army of Comets gathered around him. "For a Seer to be able to do something like that. Anyway, time to finish this."

And finish it, he did. All one hundred and eight of him.

***

SS: what do you mean there's a fork in the path?

ES: well

ES: ASTOUNDING though it may be

ES: what I mean is that there is a motherfucking FORK IN THE PATH

SS: OK, OK, jegus, no need to claw my eyes out.

SS: not that you have claws.

ES: can we please stay on topic for more than three lines?

ES: seriously, I feel like I’m talking to cleverbot

SS: woah, OK, calm down!

SS: let's see. is there any sign of which way she went?

ES: no

SS: urgh... why the hell did Silver have her laptop out before going in there anyway?

SS: why, given what always always happens in this game, would anyone ever go somewhere without their laptop?

ES: idk

SS: OK, which way do you have a good feeling about? which path calls to you the most?

ES: uh... idk, the left one?

SS: in that case, I think you should take the right one.

ES: why?

SS: because all of your ideas are terrible.

ES: awwww

SS: quit your bitching and go save your friend who just so happens to be a girl.

ES: my what?

SS: that's the term that Silver insists I use. go figure.

SS: anyway, later.

ES: yeah, BYE

[eclecticSage ceased pestering suspiciousSerpent (SS)]

***

"Summer!" Applejack cried out, as she saw the pegasus knocked into the ground with a sickening crunch, and thick cloud blocked her from getting through to her friend. Slashing desperately at the darkness, Applejack began cutting a path, only to feel a sudden chill as Nyx appeared behind her.

"Oh, now, isn't that sweet," the denizen smiled thinly. "And a little tragic. Such good friends, having all of these adventures, only for one of you to be cut down. It almost makes me tear up a little." Before Applejack could react, she was soaring through the air, before landing on the ground painfully. "Still, if both of you die then I guess it won't be quite so tragic."

"Now that's just insulting," Luna said, almost completely knocking away the darkness, which quickly returned to Nyx. "I'm the hero of Void, I'm the most important player here at the moment. I'm the last one you should forget about." Nyx tilted her head, as large funnels of black cloud snaked towards Luna.

"Remind me, which one were you again?" The clouds leapt towards Luna, who narrowly avoided being crushed between them. "Were you the one that poor old Star Swirl has spent gog knows how long doting over, or were you the one that spent gog knows how long doting over poor old Star Swirl?" Another funnel of cloud caught Luna unawards, knocking her backwards as the first wave of cloud regathered itself for another attempt. "Or is that the same thing? My, wouldn't it be really stupid if that was true?" Dodging over the wave as it surged towards her, Luna picked up on her opening and sprinted towards the denizen. "Oh wait, no, now I remember. You're the one who helped a pony escape a fate worse than death. Or maybe you haven't done that yet? I get confused." Lashing out at the approaching Witch only to miss, Nyx leapt into the air to avoid Luna's attack. "Weren't you the one who started this whole mess? Although to be honest, all of you are as bad as each other. No respect for the laws of time and space, you lot. I mean, really!"

"Do you ever shut up?" Luna asked, preparing to leap up into the air, before noticing that her hooves were trapped in a thick cloud. "Oh gog damn it." Worse than her situation was Nyx's piercing laugh, as the denizen descended to the floor of the throne room.

"Oh Luna, you don't stand a chance against me when you're so transparent. I can see absolutely everything about you: your thoughts, your moves, your past - even the parts which you don't understand yourself." Nyx sighed sadly, as the cloud binding Luna's legs began to swell and envelop the rest of her. "Maybe you could do with a little... cloud cover?" The last thing Luna saw before the black cloud covered her eyes was Nyx smiling wickedly.

A rifle shot rang out, followed almost immediately by a horrific shriek of pain. The cloud covering Luna instantly dispersed, to reveal Nyx writing in pain as cloud began evaporating off of her body. On the other side of the throne room, Summer and Applejack were calmly watching the denizen. Noticing Luna's perplexed expression, Summer nodded.

"I did say that I wasn't going to sit here and listen to terrible jokes," Summer pointed out. She glanced at Applejack. "Thanks for fixing me up, by the way." Applejack shrugged.

"Don't mention it. Ah would've done that for anypony."

"Uh, yeah," Summer said quickly. "I know that. I'm just saying, thanks." She coughed loudly. "Is it dusty in here? I think it's dusty in here." She coughed again.

"Anyway," Luna said, after making sure that Nyx actually was dead and that there was a giant mountain of grist waiting for them in the newly opened chamber. "Did anyone hear what she was saying back when I was fighting her? Anything about a particular unicorn? Anyone?"

"Uh..." Summer thought for a moment. "Nope. I was a bit busy dying at that point."

"Good," Luna said, visibly relieved. She thought for a moment. "Wait, I mean, it's not good that you were dying. I mean, it's... uh. Never mind."

"Right. So, where next?" Summer asked, as she and Applejack rose to their hooves. Luna retrieved the Paradox Gate, and glanced over it quickly.

"Next is Golden's planet. But I think we should head back to LOWAF now that we're done here, so we can all regroup. For one thing, Golden might want to help take out his denizen," Luna reasoned. "Anyway, let's go."

***

"Oh wow," Silver gasped in surprise, as she turned a corner to be confronted by a big red frog. "There actually was a frog down here? I was expecting a note from Celestia saying 'IOU 1 FROG KTHXBAI'." She paused. "Wait, who am I talking to?" Shaking her head free of the tiny voices which rose to answer the question, Silver stepped forwards and picked up the frog. Then she paused, waiting for something to go wrong. Nothing did, which was more than a little unnerving. Shrugging off her anxiety, she turned around and almost walked straight into the pony that was standing behind her. "Gash!" Leaping backwards into the small alcove where the frog had been sitting patiently, Silver Heart narrowed her eyes as she recognised the enemy.

"Hey," Silver Edge called brightly, axe in hoof. "Hey Silver, let me axe you a question."

***

"OK," Ember said, inspecting the latest result of Fluttershy’s attempts at exobiology. "I'm no expert in this, but we must be getting close... right?" In response, Fluttershy bent down next to the small frog and listened intently. A tiny croak made its way out of the amphibian. For a few moments, it passed across Fluttershy's awareness, traversing solar systems in milliseconds, unravelling and recreating matter as it went, entire galaxies resonating to its harmonies.

Almost. Opening her eyes, Fluttershy nodded encouragingly.

"Yes, we're almost there," she confirmed. Two out of the three other ponies cheered at the news. Everyone except for Ember.

"Is there a reason why your frog is taking so much longer than mine did?" Ember asked. Fluttershy shrugged as the four ponies jumped out of the convenient exit which Ember had smashed out of the building during his fight with Silver, returning to the frog hunt in the trees below.

"Well, Comet probably manipulated time to skip a few generations. And he's a Page of Time, which means he has a reasonable understanding of Space as well," Fluttershy explained. "I'm really just playing it by ear."

"Hey, don't make it sound like you're terrible at this," Rainbow protested. "You've come this far without any help." Ember began to raise an objection, only to be quickly shot down. "I mean, without anyone helping with the technical know-how side of things."

"I suppose you're right," Fluttershy conceded. "Still, I am a little worried about what will happen next. I mean, even if we make the frog, it'll be all for nothing unless we can place it in Skaia."

"I wouldn't worry about it," Acapella offered. "By the time we've finished, the others will have come back. And then they can help us finish off the denizens, and then we'll take on Mild and Discord in some kind of huge ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny! Except with a slightly more original name."

"I hope you're right," Rainbow said. "I can't wait to get my revenge."

"Uh, you mean you can't wait to avenge our friends, right?" Fluttershy asked.

"Well, yeah," Rainbow admitted. "But I also want to get revenge."

"Oh dear..."

***

"So then," Comet began. "Where are we going next?" Star Swirl thought about it for a moment.

"Well, first of all we should get back to LOWAF and regroup. And then we'll have to get to my planet," Star Swirl said. "Where we'll have to deal with a denizen that you've dealt with two times already."

"Yay," Comet cheered sarcastically. "I can hardly wait. Just a guess; I predict that the answer is blue lorry."

"It's a long story," Twilight said in response to Star Swirl's confused expression. "Let's just say that Comet doesn't like riddles any more, and that I am the best there is when it comes to loopholes."

"Oh right, yeah, I know what you mean," Star Swirl said, suddenly making the connection with the story he had been told. Comet narrowed his eyes.

"You do? How?" Comet demanded. Star Swirl shrugged and looked away awkwardly, as he had done so many times before. Comet rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, I forgot. You're not meant to tell me. I realise what's going on, you know. Don't think that you've fooled me."

"Comet?" Twilight asked, ignoring the increasing feeling that she was being left out of the loop. Probably because she fell out of it through some kind of loophole. "What are you talking about?"

"OK, well, basically," Comet began, clearly eager to make Star Swirl feel uncomfortable. "Swirls - no, wait, not just him. Everyone in this session has been doing some kind of temporal loop bullshit and somehow know everything, but for some reason they can't tell me what's going on. And it's doing my head in."

"Well, I haven't noticed it," Twilight replied, much to Star Swirl's relief. "So it's probably just you being paranoid."

"Oh, you would say that," Comet retorted. "You're one of them!" The three ponies were silent for a few seconds, after which Comet coughed lightly. "Heheh. Yeah, sorry."

"I give up," Twilight sighed. "Right then. Shall we?" Star Swirl nodded.

"Wait a minute!" A voice called, causing Comet, Twilight, and Star Swirl to look upwards. There, with an incredibly smug expression on his face was Mild. "Has anyone got the Time?" He paused for a few seconds. "Oh wait, yeah, I do." He laughed at his own joke, while the ponies below him waited patiently for him to continue his monologue. "Right then, you guys are now my watches." Grinning maniacally, he pointed a hoof at each of them in turn. "From now on, your names are Sundial, Pocket Watch, and Obtuse Fucktard."

"Hey!" Comet yelled angrily. "No one talks about Twilight like that! Ow," he cried out, as Twilight knocked him on the back of the head and glared at him. "Oh right, he meant me," he said in mock surprise. "Well, I'm still pretty annoyed about that."

***

"Honestly," Celestia complained, "what the hell is taking so long?"

"You know," Diamond pointed out, "Golden did say that there was a fork. And that was quite far in."

"Yeah, so?" Celestia wasn't looking for excuses. She was looking for frogs, and now she had to wait around because of those two idiots.

"So, maybe you were wrong about how short the tunnel was?" Diamond sighed. While it probably wasn't much fun to be lost underground, it couldn't have been any worse than attempting to soothe an irritated Celestia. "They'll be here in a bit."

"You know what I think?" Celestia asked meaningfully. "I don't think they're lost at all." That was, apparently, all she had to say about that.

"What do you mean?" Diamond asked. "If they weren't lost then where would they-" Realisation dawned, accompanied by a smug grin from Celestia. "Oh for gog's sake, grow up."

"OH!" Celestia cried, smiling like an idiot. "Oh, that was just uncalled for Diamond! Besides, don't go acting like it didn't cross your mind."

"Frankly, I have better things to do than imagine what two of my friends - one of which looks exactly like me, for crying out loud - are doing behind my back!" Silence fell for a few minutes.

"Hey, Diamond?"

"What?" Diamond asked warily, unsure whether or not Celestia had calmed down.

"Do you... do you feel any kind of connection to Silver?" Diamond thought about the question.

"Uh. Not really. I kind of did with Silver Edge, since we shared a body and everything. But... no, I... wait, what's that look for?" Although Celestia had initially hid it well, her smirk was rapidly developing a mind of its own.

"Sorry, sorry, but..." Celestia paused to catch her breath. "Did you just say that the two of you shared a body?" Quickly leaping to one side, Celestia sprinted away cackling maniacally, as Diamond chased after her with murder in her eyes.

***

Golden's ability to not panic was rapidly decaying as he realised that he had reached the end of the path without finding any sign of Silver. There hadn't even been a frog. What had happened?

"Silver!" he called out, in the hopes that plot mechanics might succeed where common sense and logic had failed. To his surprise, he heard Silver's voice, surprisingly close.

"Golden?"

"Where are you!?" A thousand and one explanations rushed through Golden's head, ranging from a tunnel collapse to sheer stupidity on his part.

"I'm at the end of the path," came the reply, which Golden had kind of been expecting.

"But that's where I am!" There was silence for a few seconds.

"I mean the end of the left path," Silver said simply, causing Golden to repeatedly hit himself in the head. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. "I guess that they must finish pretty close to each other?"

"Yeah. I guess. That seems kind of redundant..." Golden shook his head. This was no time to be discussing the efficiency of an underground tunnel system. "So hey, are you OK?"

"I'm fine," Silver said. "Although to be honest, I've had enough of this quest."

"I know what you mean," Golden agreed. "It does drag on a bit. Hey, uh, Silver, while we're both here, uh..." He looked down at his hooves. Wait, why did he do that? Silver couldn't even see him! "Well, I guess I did get better, so... I need to tell you something."

"Golden?" Silver said quietly, which made it almost impossible to hear her through whatever gap in the wall that made it possible for them to speak. "Maybe you should wait until later to tell me whatever it is? I just mean, uh... there's a lot to do, and... the others will be worried about us?" Golden thought about that.

"Uh, I guess... um," Golden floundered. This was no good. He was second guessing himself now. It did seem that Silver was intent on changing the subject whenever he tried to talk to her. "Silver, have I done something wrong?"

On the other side of the wall, Silver Edge closed her eyes.

"No, Golden. Quite the opposite." Considering the dead unicorn at her feet, Silver Edge wondered absently why her life was so fucked up. She sighed. Mild wasn't going to like what she had decided to do next. Then again, she had an extravagantly long list of reasons why Mild's opinion counted for shit. "Hey, Golden?"

"Yeah?"

"Uh, can you come around to my side of the wall?" There was no way that Silver Heart was still alive, of course, but that wasn't necessarily a requirement for her continued existence.

"Um. Sure. Why?"

"I'll tell you... once I'm better." And with that, Silver transportalised the hell out of there.

Chapter 30

View Online

Silver Heart awoke to the sound of battle. Cannons and archers and swords and submachine guns clashed with one another in a rather confused fashion all around her, and as she took in her surroundings she realised that she was flying above the Battlefield. A chessboard pattern stretched as far as her eyes could see in all directions, and far, far above her the intricate network of rings and moons shared the same texture. The scenery was somewhat spoiled, however, by the fields of dead soldiers and living soldiers and tanks and crashed battleships and castles.

Wait a minute. She was flying? Glancing at herself over her shoulder, which was rather tricky to pull off in mid-air, Silver noticed two things. Firstly, she noticed two purple wings which almost certainly hadn't been there before she had been brutally murdered. And secondly, she noticed the pale yellow clothes she was now wearing. So, that was what had happened, and that was why she was on Skaia now. That was pretty cool.

What was less cool was the alarming amount of dying that the Prospitans were busy doing. In fact, both armies seemed to be taking heavy losses from the alarming amount of meteors which were regularly bombarding the surface of the Battlefield, but the Dersites were clearly winning. The Black King loomed alarmingly over the rest of the soldiers, wiping out entire regiments with a swing of his arm. The sight was quite alarming. Frankly, Silver was getting tired of being alarmed. She was a God now, so she may as well start handing out some divine judgement. Immediately after checking who was contacting her at a time like this, of course.

[eclecticSage began pestering suspiciousSeraphim(Ss)]

ES: SILVER

ES: are you OK?

Ss: Golden!

Ss: I'm fine, if a little surprised.

Ss: I was under the impression that I was dead.

ES: yeah, you were

ES: luckily for you, i'm AWESOME

Ss: :D

ES: but anyway, you should probably come back to LOWAF soon

ES: everyone's regrouping there

ES: and it seems like whenever that happens one of us ends up dead or dying

Ss: Ah. I'd better get over there then.

ES: yeah, that's probably a good idea

ES: i'll see you later

Ss: OK, bye.

[eclecticSage ceased pestering suspiciousSeraphim(Ss)]

***

"They're all on LOWAF, or are on their way there," Silver Edge reported, with a somewhat tired expression as she stumbled back into Derse's throne room. Immediately, something struck her as odd when the only face glancing back at her was Mild's. "Hey, where's the Queen?" The Thief shrugged.

"She stormed off all of a sudden. I tried to get her to explain, but all I know is that apparently the White Queen is the illegitimate lovechild of hamster and someone or something possessing the scent of elderberries, and that there's going to be a whole other Reckoning or something. And also that I shouldn't get in her way." He paused for a moment. "On reflection, I probably should have taken one of your cameras and followed her. I know a guy who'd pay good money to see that." While he was talking, Silver just stared blankly at him until he realised that she wasn't in the mood. Eventually, he fell silent.

"If you're quite finished," Silver said at last, "Are we going to kill everyone or not?" Mild thought for a moment.

"No," he said. "If everyone's on LOWAF then it'll be more trouble than it's worth. They have Luna, who can stop my mind control, and they have Applejack, so any non-fatal injuries aren't going to affect them. We should just wait for backup."

"Does it bother you that the entire strength of our team is almost completely provided by just one member?" Silver asked. Mild's powers, rendered obsolete by Luna, were becoming increasingly stupid as time wore on. What was the point of being a God if no one followed you? "If he was here, then he'd just waltz over to LOWAF by himself, and probably bring back a couple of heads for each of us."

"I prefer not to think about it too much," Mild replied. "The whole reason I agreed to go along with the plan was because future me had twisted my leg into it. It's occurred to me more than once that we might have been had by the greatest interdimensional con artist the world has ever seen." Silver thought about that for a moment.

"I wouldn't go that far. He's on our side, so we don't have anything to worry about." Mild laughed.

"True. We don't have anything to worry about, as long as that remains true. But we both know what's going to keep us alive once he gets here." If there was fear in his voice, it was hidden behind the frustration. "The fact that there are more important things for him to think about. That's it." With that, he turned and walked out of the throne room, leaving Silver to ponder their situation.

"Perhaps," she admitted aloud to no one in particular. "But he's not so far gone that he's forgotten himself. Maybe his old self will shine through."

***

"Golden. I'm alive. This is a fact which has already been established." Whatever Silver said, nothing could get through to Golden. Or out of her windpipe, for that matter. "Agh! Golden! I need air!" Rather begrudgingly, Golden stepped backwards, allowing her to breathe properly once more.

"Sorry," he said. "I-"

"Are you two done yet?" Comet called, beckoning the two ponies over to where he and the others were gathered. "Frankly, I don't see what the fuss is about. People die and then come back all the time in this game. Luna did it, and no one gave her a hug." Luna started a little at this, as if she had suddenly remembered something. "But whatever. Here's the situation; we're fucked. The Reckoning is going to be over in a few hours, at which point Skaia will be rendered forever incapable of hosting a Genesis Frog. So don't worry about scuttling around this place finishing your frog, because by the time you're finished there won't be a pond to chuck it in. That also means there's no point beating the remaining denizens until we've taken care of the Reckoning situation. Question?" Comet paused, gesturing to Star Swirl.

"No, I'm just rubbing my head," Star Swirl replied, before returning to nursing the bruise which he had recently obtained due to an act of God. Specifically, Luna.

"OK, whatever," Comet shrugged. "But I do have a question. Although I originally thought that Discord must have come from this session, since I didn't bring him in and neither did Twilight, he doesn't seem to be around. That means that our biggest problem is the Black King. We need to kill him, retrieve the sceptre undamaged, and use it to stop the Reckoning, all in the space of about 3-4 hours. Any ideas?"

"Can't we just go to Skaia and start beating the crap out of him?" Summer suggested. "That's what we did to ours, and it worked fine."

"That is a good plan, and I like it," Comet approved. "Of course, we'll be up against the King, as well as Mild and Silver Edge, not to mention the combined forces of Prospit and Derse - such as they are." Obviously Mild would use his powers to affect the soldiers on the Battlefield, since he couldn't effectively use them on the players.

"I think I might be able to help with that," came a voice from above the assembled ponies. They watched in surprise as a twisted, disfigured, but somehow infinitely elegant monarch descended to the surface of LOWAF. The White Queen, bearing prototypings eighteenfold, was an impressive sight.

"I..." Comet froze, utterly astounded that the White Queen was actually doing something. "I think we might finally have the upper hand," he said, an uneasy smile gripping hold of his face. This vanished instantly as he heard an exasperated sigh.

"Ya just had to say that, didn't ya," Applejack said, pointing a hoof into the distance, where another monarch of similar proportions but notably different hue was fast approaching. Comet sighed.

"Right, this is getting silly, let's just kill the bitch and be done with it."

***

"She's WHAT?" Mild yelled, terrifying the hapless agent who had brought him the news.

"I said, the Queen is attacking-" Several large patches of blood were scattered across the throne room, along with a head and several limbs.

"I heard what you said," Mild stated, although Silver was the only one alive enough to hear him. "We'd better go after her."

"It's too late, if she's already there," Silver reasoned. "If they've got the White Queen with them then there's no way she could ever win."

"I know that," Mild said. "And I'm pretty damn annoyed about it. But we need that ring, if nothing else."

"Really? That's what you're worried about?" Silver shook her head. "We have bigger problems right now. Protecting the King is the priority here, don't you think?"

"That's true," Mild admitted. "But why do we need that King alive?" Without waiting for an answer, he continued. "For the crossover once we get into the last incipisphere. And why do we want to do a crossover? Because the other King will be even stronger. And why is that, Silver?" Silver sighed.

"Yeah, OK, I get it, let's go get the stupid ring," Silver was not accustomed to being outsmarted by Mild, and it wasn't a feeling she particularly enjoyed. "But they still have their Queen, and she's more powerful than our King." In truth, Silver would be lying if she claimed to understand how the prototyping system really worked. It just did, and that was enough for her.

"Not really. Only in terms of prototypings, and then only by one. And even then, the King is more powerful than the Queen by default. It's just a simple case of sexual dimorphism." Silver raised an eyebrow. "You know, the males of a species are usually stronger than the females. It's the same principle."

"I think it'd be best if you stopped talking now," Silver said. "Let's just go pick up the ring and get out of there."

"Oh, I think we can do a little better than that," Mild said, wiping the fresh blood off of his knives.

***

"Why is it always either me or you?" Silver asked, as she stared down at Golden. He shrugged, or at least gave a half-hearted attempt at shrugging, only to find that it was probably a bad idea to make any kind of movement. The puddle of blood grew a little. "Honestly, couldn't it be Star Swirl for a change?" Star Swirl gave her an odd look, but said nothing.

"Now now, calm down," Applejack said, as she equipped her My Little Trauma Centre. "This shouldn't take too long."

"That's good," Golden said. "I don't have too long." Silver punched him, and he glanced up at her with a curious expression. "I really, honestly don't understand that reaction."

"Both of ya, stop it," Applejack admonished. "Honestly, why are ya both so high strung all the time?"

"I'm not!" Golden replied. "It's her, she's the crazy one! Ow!" He shook his head. "But yeah, Silver, you're the Sylph of Hope, right? Why not just wish me better?" Silver shrugged.

"I can't do that. I'm... I'm not sure what I can do." She glanced down at herself, at the pale yellow wings on the front of her dress. "I spoke to Luna, and she said that when she ascended, suddenly she knew exactly how to do all the things she can do. But I... I don't feel anything like that."

"Well, you have Hope powers," Golden pointed out. "That's not really anything concrete that you can easily understand, like Time or Space. Hell, I don't even know what my title is yet."

"Yeah, that struck me as a little odd," Silver mused. "Normally the consorts seem all too eager to spill details about the hero of their planet. Maybe you're just a pretty terrible hero."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Another punch. "Sorry." An uneasy silence fell while Applejack worked, unbroken until Twilight wandered over to the small group.

"Is everything OK?" Twilight asked, with the air of someone who had spent the last few minutes debating whether or not to talk to them, and was now attempting to hide that fact by acting as though she had immediately walked over after learning that somepony was injured.

"I'm fine," Golden replied, before Silver could answer the question. "I just need a little rest." He glanced at Applejack. "And also magic."

"Ah can't do magic," Applejack corrected him. "This is just science."

"Yeah, OK, but a lot of the 'science' in this game is really far too unspecific for it to be taken seriously as an area of scientific study. It's all a kind of magicky science, isn't it?" Golden said, while Twilight mentally added 'magicky' to her list of words and phrases that she forbade herself from ever using. Also on the list was 'chimi cherry changa', as well as the old favourite 'Of course! Statistics is what we need to use in this situation!'.

"Magic and science are essentially the same thing," Twilight said. "The only difference is that, while magic uses a-"

"Uh, so anyway, Golden..." Applejack began, hurriedly silencing Twilight before the conversation got too metaphysical. Glancing around, she searched desperately for something to talk about. Her eyes found a golden apple. "If it ain't too personal, what's the story behind your cutie mark? Ah was just interested cause, y'know. Apples." She smiled unconvincingly, but Golden was either too distracted or too dying to notice. He just shrugged.

"I have no idea. I just woke up one morning and it was there, but none of my parents had any clue what I'd been doing the day before. Nothing apple-related came to mind, at any rate. All I can really remember is going down to the river with my aunt to throw stones in the water." He was quiet for a few moments.

"You mean, skim them along the surface," Twilight offered, but he shook his head.

"No, we both just found the biggest stones we could lift and chucked them in to see the splashes," he stated. "I asked her what my cutie mark meant afterwards, but she just smiled knowingly and giggled. But I'm not convinced she actually knew what it meant, since smiling knowingly and giggling was her reaction to pretty much anything." Another few moments of reflection. "My aunt was pretty great, really." Twilight wasn't sure what to say to that.

"Well, it's good that you're OK. I'm, uh, I'm going to go and take a walk..." Trailing off, she stood around awkwardly for a few more seconds before turning and walking away, leaving the three ponies alone once more.

"Are you three done yet?" Comet called, while looking at his leg in search of an imaginary watch.

"We still need a bit longer," Silver replied.

"Oh, please, take all the time you need," Comet said unsympathetically, as he inspected the dead Black Queen. "It's not like we need to be anywhere." He retrieved the Queen's ring, then glanced over to the White Queen. She was wearing the same ring, near enough. "So, here's a question. There's five ponies in this session, so... why is the ring eighteenfold?"

"That is how many there are, because that is how much information it needs to hold," the Queen replied, completely failing to provide any new information.

"Right. But there were only five prototypings, correct?" The Queen shrugged, and Comet felt his patience rapidly evaporating. "OK, look, I get that it's all sacred and mystical and basically you don't want to tell me the specifics because then I'll know just how cheap and badly put together this game really is. Whatever. Why are there eighteen orbs on this ring?" The Queen shifted from side to side uncomfortably, clearly not wanting to explain.

"There... there were five heroes... but among them they carried the weight of eighteen."

"OK, listen, this isn't working," Comet stated. "You're just restating the problem. I need specifics. Why did five ponies end up creating an eighteenfold ring? Actually, I can probably figure out the reason why. The reason why is that they're complete idiots. More importantly, how did they create an eighteenfold ring?"

"They had help..." the Queen offered. "Help from the Thief."

"Mild. Mild helped them? What you mean to say is that Mild is the reason why this session is fucked up. We already know that." Shaking his head, Comet turned back to the others. "Are you guys finished ye-" He stopped.

Golden was dead. This was obvious from the large amount of knives that now decorated his body. Also obvious was the reason for this, as Mild grinned merrily back at him. Silver and Applejack were not unaware of this development, but were rather fixated on the knives being held to their throats.

"OK, seriously, how many knives do you actually have?" Comet asked incredulously. "It's getting ridiculous. No matter what happens you just pull more knives from somewhere."

"Comet."

"Yeah?"

"Shut up." Mild glanced between the two Queens. "Fuck. I knew I shouldn't have let her run off by herself."

"Yeah, life's a bitch like that. No offense AJ," Summer said, smacking her rifle into Mild's face as he turned behind him to face her. Instantly, all of the tension dissolved into chaotic violence, as two Gods, a monarch, and six ponies charged towards Mild as one.

A short distance away, Silver Edge watched the scene with disdain, shaking her head as she quietly captchalogued the Black Queen's ring and disappeared from view.

***

In the aftermath of Mild's attack, much talk was had. This was mainly about what was to be done about Golden, and of the various means through which vengeance could be achieved. Very little attention was given to Twilight, and her exit from the group went unnoticed, except for the pony she was going to meet.

"Hey," Comet said, with a sad smile on his face. He looked different somehow; the usual expression of vague annoyance was gone from his face. He looked rather like he had done when Twilight had first met him on her planet, but maybe that was just her imagination. What was definitely true was that he looked different from the other Comet who was at the heart of the discussion that she had left behind.

"What," Twilight said slowly. As she reached him, he turned and began walking away, which left her with no choice but to follow. "What gave you the impression that we needed another Comet?"

"There's no time for explaining why there's two of me," Comet stated. "All I can say is that I know what you and I need to do, and there'll be no time to do it if we wait for us to figure it out by ourselves."

"And what do we need to do?" Twilight asked. In response, Comet pointed a hoof to the top of a nearby hill, where a bright white spirograph danced cryptically to itself.

"We need to head to the Land of Pillars and Doors as quickly as possible. The fate of fate itself depends on it." Retrieving his laptop, Comet absently opened up a memo that Twilight didn't recognise. "One moment."

[CURRENT fractalAbomination began responding to memo FIX EVERYTHING]

CFA: heading to the hourglass now

[CURRENT fractalAbomination2 began responding to memo FIX EVERYTHING]

CFA2: oh, so it all went ok then?

CFA: it went fine

CFA: i just hope it'll go smoothly from here on out

[FUTURE fractalAbomination began responding to memo FIX EVERYTHING]

FFA: it does

FFA: that is, everything going wrong goes very smoothly

CFA: that's what i like to hear

[FUTURE fractalAbomination2 began responding to memo FIX EVERYTHING]

FFA2: wait, what?

FFA2: is that the plan now? let everything go wrong?

FFA: if you've got a better plan, which you don't, i'd love to hear it

FFA2: how do you know i don't have a better plan

FFA: because i've already been you, idiot

FFA2: and how was i supposed to know that? i can't keep up anymore

[PAST fractalAbomination began responding to memo FIX EVERYTHING]

PFA: i know what you mean, it was a pretty wild ride

[CURRENT fractalAbomination3 began responding to memo FIX EVERYTHING]

CFA3: you don't know what you're talking about, which i know because i was just you

PFA: oh come on, why would you do that?

PFA: that's just not cool

CFA3: neither is trying to make this mess even more complicated

[??? fractalAbomination began responding to memo FIX EVERYTHING]

?FA: guys

CFA3: oh shit it's you again

FFA2: everyone shut up and listen to us, this is important in case you haven't figured it out yet

?FA: guys, the dice is important

?FA: the dice is so fucking important

CFA2: what dice

?FA: the dice in the middle. it is huge and hugely important

CFA: how important is it

?FA: ok, let's say that you made a scale of 0 to really fucking important

?FA: no matter where you put the dice on that scale, it's going to break into your house and burn your stupid scale to the ground

?FA: and then it's going to murder your children

?FA: all because you didn't get how important the dice is

PFA: is the dice actually important or are you just fucking with us

?FA: right, seriously

?FA: the dice is important. remember the dice

?FA: and then when you find out how important it is you will be just like

?FA: "i am stupid and lonely and i have no friends"

?FA: that is actually how you will react

FFA: what? that's stupid, why would we say that?

?FA: because that's what i literally just said when i found out about the dice

?FA: i did this on purpose, just so that you all have to say it to stop a time paradox when it's your turn

?FA: joke's on you, morons

CFA: oh gog this is so screwed up

CFA: EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP

CFA: NO ONE GIVES A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK

CFA: FROM THIS POINT ON ALL YOUR OPINIONS ARE REJECTED

CFA: now can ANYONE tell me what i do with the damn hourglass OR DO I NEED TO STRAIGHT UP CHOKE A BITCH

"This may take a few more moments," Comet explained. "Me and myself do not get on." Twilight sighed.

***

After the excitement had died down and everyone had figured out what to do next, most of the group had left for Skaia. Most of them. A salamander bowed its head respectfully as Silver passed it, levitating Golden in front of her. There was still blood, somehow, but now wasn't the time to make him look presentable. That usually happened by itself anyway. Another salamander, which looked shocked enough at the revelation that the planet actually had a hero, never mind one that had been suddenly killed. None of them offered any words, which was frustrating. Even one whisper of the title by which Golden was known would have satisfied her mounting curiosity, but there were no clues to be had whatsoever from the massing consorts. A couple of badly damaged flowers and a few incredibly ruffled hats, but no clues.

And so she continued the walk towards the distant quest bed in moderate silence, her eyes fixed on the path ahead. She didn't want to look at Golden. Not now. She could do all the looking she wanted after he was fixed. It did strike her as odd that injuries always seemed to alternate between herself and Golden, quickly increasing in severity, never affecting anyone else in the group. Somewhere in the grand scheme of things, apparently, something had it in for her. Or for Golden. Or for both of them. Briefly, she wondered if Gods could die.

"It's always a shame when a hero dies before their time," a salamander commented, causing Silver to jump back in surprise. "Still, I suppose it's all just a means to an end for you fools." Determined to give Golden's ascension at least some dignity, Silver neglected to behead the salamander, choosing to ignore it.

Now she was at the foot of the pillar supporting the quest bed, and certainly close enough to see the dark purple shade of the pillar - and therefore the quest bed. Purple. That wasn't an aspect she knew about, at any rate. Quickly flying up to the top of the pillar, she was surprised to find an elderly salamander standing beside the bed. If she was more certain about the genders which salamanders could be, she might have said it was female, but it was hard to know for certain about that kind of thing. The salamander said nothing as Silver approached, and laid Golden down onto the quest bed. Then she spoke.

"Bless you for bringing him here, Sylph," she - Silver was pretty sure it was a she - said. "Our worlds had something of a crisis of faith lately, but some of us still trust in him." Silver thought about that. She also thought that nothing seemed to be happening to Golden, and that this was quite worrying.

"Uh, should anything be happening by now?" She asked, to which the salamander glanced between her and Golden with a puzzled expression.

"Maybe. I don't know the workings of gods, I just make hats. Maybe he needs a shove in the right direction? That's your department, not mine. I just wanted to come up and see him off." With that, she turned and began hobbling back down the stairs away from the quest bed. "I'd have hated to see an Heir die without realising his true powers." Heir. The word resonated in Silver's mind, and she quickly rushed up to the salamander before she continued her journey.

"Wait! He's an Heir? What is he an Heir of?" The salamander's eyes widened, shocked by the question.

"You - you don't know?" Silver shook her head. "Oh, oh dear, well, it's not my place to tell you, not my place at all..." The salamander turned and hobbled rather quickly away, only pausing briefly to call back to a deflated Silver. "If you want my advice, you should enjoy what you have while he's still there on that stone slab."

Silver walked back to Golden's side alone, looking down at her friend. This wasn't right. He didn't look peaceful at all. What had it been? Maybe he needs a shove in the right direction... Silver closed her eyes.

I Hope this isn't too late.

***

"Why are we here?" Twilight asked, seconds after she and Comet appearified onto the Land of Pillars and Doors. "Shouldn't we be heading to Skaia, to help with the giant battle that's going on?" Comet shook his head, walking ahead with purpose without waiting for Twilight to follow.

"It's a lost battle already. There's nothing we could do except add to the body count. And I don't mean that in a 'kill the bad guys' kind of way." He gestured towards the distant hills, where the entrance to a palace of Time could be seen nestled into the mountains. "There's only one thing left to do."

"Are you serious?" Twilight had had quite enough of this nonsense. Comet was going to damn well explain everything to her, or there were going to be some problems. "If we've really lost already, then finishing all the denizens isn't going to help. And how do you even know all of this?" Comet paused.

"Yeah, I suppose I can tell you that much." As he spoke, he retrieved a small amulet from his sylladex. It was a solid white disc, bearing a familiar green spirograph on its face. It was the same amulet that Owlsprite had given Twilight not too long after she had begun her quest, which was meant to summon her sprite to her. Not that it worked in this universe. "Firstly, we're not going to fight the denizen. We're going to initiate the game's self-destruct mechanism, which in this case happens to be stored in that palace."

"Self-destruct mechanism!?" Twilight exclaimed, staring at Comet as if he had gone insane. Which he probably had. "Why would we ever want to use that?"

"Maybe 'self-destruct mechanism' isn't quite accurate. It's... more like a reset button. It fundamentally changes this session in a way that gives the parent universe different starting parameters. To put it another way, it destroys this session, and creates a parallel universe which has a better chance of not completely failing."

"Wait, the parent universe of this session is the one where I'm a founder of Equestria and Celestia's just a normal pony..." Twilight began slowly. "So if this is going to create a parallel universe which is similar but slightly different, you don't mean..." Comet nodded.

"Yeah. If we reset this session, we'll create the universe that you and I came from. This, obviously, is a thing that happened. So there's no way around this."

"How could you possibly have found out all of this?" Twilight asked, struggling to understand exactly when the situation had changed so drastically.

"Let's just say I had a lot of time to myself, to think about everything," Comet said. "That, and I had a little bit of help along the way."

"Right. So, how do you know we've lost the fight?"

"We haven't. Not yet. Hell, we're probably winning. But something's about to happen that is going to swing the fight, forever and irreversibly, in Mild's favour." He paused, before correcting himself. "Actually, it's not in Mild's favour. It's not in anyone's favour. Everyone's probably going to end up dead because of it."

"And what is it!?" Comet sighed, and activated the amulet.

"This is what it is," he explained, as a ball of beige light appeared. "Star Swirl's sprite. Although, thanks to a certain stab happy thief and his morally ambiguous accomplice, it's recently received a substantial addition." The light faded, displaying Star Swirl's sprite in all its glory. Twilight stared.

The face of Golden Shine stared back at her, although it had been twisted and warped almost beyond recognition as Sburb had attempted to combine the hapless unicorn with the bizarre mixture of items that had already found their way into Star Swirl's sprite. Various limbs of varying shapes and sizes hung off of the snake-like body at odd angles, including a pegasus' wing and a lion's paw. The sight made Twilight feel sick, but not because of how it looked. Something clicked in the back of her mind.

Golden apple. Not a real apple, but a literal golden apple. The Apple of Discord.

"Oh..." Twilight floundered, the full extent of how terrible their situation was finally sinking in. "Oh fuck."

A/N: Hey everypony! Ponystuck is now officially back to its technically unofficial schedule! Rejoice... um, if you want to... if not then that's fine too...

...

Oh hey, a surprise!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9zDoop_gJs

Chapter 31

View Online

I Hope this isn't too late.

The thought had barely crossed Silver Heart's mind before she realised that it was not, in fact, too late. The pony lying in front of her was still dead, of course, but now Golden was surrounded by a purple aura, the orbs atop his quest bed were glowing a bright white, and an alarmingly awesome fanfare was suddenly everywhere. And then, in an instant, Golden was gone, taking his ascension music with him. Silver was alone next to an empty quest bed, staring down at the symbol below her. It was some kind of mask, or maybe a curiously shaped jug. Whatever it was meant to be, something about it gave her an uneasy feeling.

***

Twilight was bored. She was also frustrated with herself for being bored at a time like this, and frustrated with Comet for causing her to be bored. Perhaps the worst thing about being bored was that it gave her time to reflect on how the game had progressed so far. Almost immediately it had deteriorated from "promising new adventure" into "we're all going to die", and Twilight had been astounded by just how terribly things had gone. Back in Equestria, all but the most serious of problems had never placed any of them in such serious danger. Not even when they had first fought Discord...

That was an interesting point, Twilight considered. There was Discord on Equestria, who they had defeated with the Elements of Harmony, and who had spent his days making pigs fly and drinking chocolate milks of glass. And then there was this Discord, who was about to be created, and who she had already encountered once in her session. A ruthless, powerful, immortal killing machine. The Discord she had first met was undeniably evil, but he hadn't killed anyone. She realised that she had only assumed that the two Discords were the same - although she supposed that there wasn't any way to know for sure. But if they were the same, then what could possibly explain the difference between the two Discords?

Thinking about it wasn't going to get her anywhere, and the unnerving stare of Star Swirl's sprite was beginning to get under her skin. The sprite was a horrific mixture of unicorn and pegasus and lion and eagle and a pair of dice for some reason, along with a lot of additional limbs and items which Twilight found all too familiar. It was undeniably an unfinished stage of Discord, which Comet explained had been made by combining Golden's dream self with a Black King's sceptre. Exactly why Star Swirl was in possession of a sceptre, and why he was stupid enough to prototype with it, was unknown. All Twilight knew was that Comet seemed to find it worryingly amusing to call the abomination a Goldenrod sprite, and that the Goldenrod sprite in question was really creepy to be around. It had stopped talking a while ago, and had resigned itself to simply floating around next to her and glaring. She shook her head and opened up a new conversation.

[crespucularMagicant began pestering fractalAbomination]

CM: This thing is really starting to get to me.

FA: what, goldenrod?

FA: don't worry about it. just remember, normal's weak to fighting type attacks

CM: ... what?

FA: nm

CM: Well, whatever.

CM: I can't get hold of anyone now. Presumably they're all fighting on Skaia.

FA: yeah, probably

CM: Why didn't you tell anyone else? I mean, you know what's about to happen.

FA: key point number 1 - as far as i'm concerned, it's already happened

FA: key point number 2 - i hate to have to explain this again, but everything that someone does to change the future given their knowledge of the future is and must always be in a nash equilibrium

FA: key point number 3 - always have 3 key points. always

CM: Fine, fine, I get it.

CM: I just feel so helpless.

FA: yeah, so did i when i figured out that our universe is the result of resetting this universe

FA: and that's not even the shittiest of the many wonderful shitty twists that paradox space has seen fit to reward us with

CM: Why? What else is there?

FA: i'm not going to tell you that. you'll have to wait and see

CM: Then why did you tell me about Golden?

FA: because i didn't want you getting killed

CM: ...

CM: Whereas you don't mind letting your friend walk into a trap?

FA: summer's not a friend so much as she is a friend of a friend

FA: in fact, she's really just a random pony who stalks one of my friends

FA: besides, she dies because of this. that's a thing which happens

CM: And you're really OK with that?

FA: i had my one chance to stop it

FA: and that's all i get

CM: ...

FA: look, twilight, this isn't about what any of us wants

FA: do you know what would have happened if i'd said something to summer?

FA: she'd have laughed it off. she'd have said it wasn't important, and gone anyway

FA: or maybe i'd have been interrupted by something else

FA: some external factor that i completely failed to take into account

FA: alternatively, i could succeed, only for all the ponies i saved to die immediately afterwards in some tragic and probably very painful fashion

FA: i can't do a damn thing to change what happened/what is happening

CM: ... urgh, damn it.

CM: There really isn't anything we can do, is there?

FA: nope. it's far, far too late now

FA: all we can do is sit back and enjoy the fireworks

FA: speaking of which, things are about to heat up around here

FA: you may want to take the opportunity to calm the fuck down

***

"So, here you all are at last," Mild said, grinning at the sight of the assembled heroes - Applejack, Summer, Comet, Star Swirl, Celestia, and Luna - as they and their White Queen dove out of the sky and onto the meteor-wrecked surface of the Battlefield. "I've been waiting for you."

"You've had this coming for a long time, Mild," Summer said. "This is going to be fun." And that was all the introduction that was necessary, as all the gathered ponies leapt into the air as one, weapons drawn.

Below them, the White Queen ran forwards, towards the looming Black King, darting between Dersite soldiers that hopelessly attempted to slow her progress. Although in terms of prototypings her power equalled that of the King, the sceptre granted him a vast increase in size as well as strength compared with her relatively unchanged dimensions. Seizing a lance from one of the soldiers at the foot of the monarch, the Queen flew upwards along the side of the King, stabbing the lance forwards as she became level with his head. The lance was driven into the King's neck, managing to create a small gap in his carapace where it was thinnest, and became lodged in place. The Queen continued upwards, narrowly weaving in between colossal fists that angrily swatted at her, and reached out with her powers to a meteor which was aimed slightly away from their current position. Being prototyped with a King's sceptre, she had received moderate control over the Reckoning - although not enough to stop it entirely - and with this she slightly rotated the meteor's trajectory so that it now aimed towards them. Before the King could react to this, it was already too late, and the large rock crashed into his leg with a deafening explosion. The King staggered backwards, as the Queen approached for a second round.

Elsewhere, Comet and Star Swirl were attempting to deal with Silver Edge. An unfair volume of axes danced threateningly around Silver as she leapt around the bolts of energy which Star Swirl was firing. Comet, meanwhile, was standing around idly as he attempted to factorise a cubic equation in his head.

"Comet," Star Swirl said, attempting and failing to catch Silver off guard by firing a series of delayed lasers in quick succession, "This would be so much easier if you were helping." At that, Comet was suddenly at his side, with a large book open in front of him.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you that patience is a virtue?" Comet asked, before rapidly flipping the pages of the book and creating a magic circle around both himself and Star Swirl in the process. Suddenly, Silver began moving much slower, barely dodging out of the way of a large laser beam in time.

"You slowed her down?" Star Swirl asked Comet, who shrugged.

"I sped us up, which makes us look a whole lot cooler from an external viewpoint. Now quick, use your magicannon." They both paused for a few moments, after which Comet sighed. "Don't tell me you don't have a magicannon."

"I have no idea what a magicannon is," Star Swirl informed him, before firing several lasers as quickly as he could. Which of course meant that, from Silver's point of view, he was firing lasers faster than she could dodge them. Changing tactics, she attempted to create a shield around herself to deflect the onslaught. "Have I hit her yet?" Star Swirl asked, unable to see as his horn was aimed towards Silver.

"I think she made a shield," Comet said. "She's better at magic than I thought. We appear to be in stalemate." He shrugged. "Still, she can't keep this up forever."

"Neither can I," Star Swirl pointed out.

"Ah, yes. Good point."

***

CM: So, will you be joining me and the others once they get over here?

FA: no

FA: i have somewhere i need to be

CM: Uhuh. So you keep saying. And what are the rest of us supposed to do?

FA: head back to your session. discord's been running amok over there for all this time, and i don't care how unusually overpowered ember is being for whatever badly explained reason. they're going to die unless we can help

CM: But... you're from the future, so...

CM: Don't you know what happens to them?

FA: ... no. but we both know that there's plenty of surprises in store

FA: golden being discord? that's just the tip of the iceberg of terror which we are currently crashing the fuck into

FA: with sburb, every day is christmas day

FA: and we've all behaved atrociously

FA: our stockings are filled with misery and death

FA: the tree in the corner is the harbinger of our misfortune, clad in baubles of despair and...

FA: uh, what are they called, those little tiny winged things

CM: Cherubs?

FA: yeah, that's it. clad in baubles of despair and cherubs of darkness, reminding us of the futility of existence

FA: or, indeed, of attempting to understand what the hell is going on

CM: Was there any point to that really drawn out and muddled metaphor?

FA: yeah. the point was that we all suck

CM: That's reassuring.

CM: What are you even doing in the palace that's so important?

FA: i'm resetting the session

FA: or rather, i'm starting the process. the actual reset is very dramatic and drawn out, so you'll all have time to get out

CM: Do you want us to wait for you?

FA: yes

FA: however, i know from experience that you don't

CM: So... what's going to happen to you?

FA: no idea

FA: should be interesting

CM: ...

FA: anyway

FA: i need to work. you can get on with meeting everyone, they'll be appearing shortly

FA: oh, and when they ask who was smart enough to reset the session?

FA: it was you. don't let anyone know about me, especially not me

FA: that would be disastrous

CM: I... really don't understand what's happening.

FA: yeah, that seems to be a recurring theme

FA: so... i might see you later, relative to me

CM: Yeah. OK.

FA: oh, and twilight?

CM: Yes?

FA: listen, i want to be serious for a moment

FA: i... i'm sorry, ok?

FA: i'm just a complete idiot

CM: Sorry for what?

FA: like i said before

FA: everything

[fractalAbomination ceased being pestered by crespucularMagicant]

***

"Luna, Celestia, go and help the Queen!" Summer yelled over the sound of several explosions going off at once. Most of them were her fault. "If we don't stop the King in time then we lose!" Celestia put a hoof to her head in a mock salute, and then pulled Luna in the relevant direction before she could object. "AJ, get over to Mild and try to distract him from controlling these soldiers. I'll cover you." As Applejack nodded and began carving a path towards the cackling god, Summer fired a few shots in rapid succession at the Prospitans and Dersites who were attempting to slow Applejack's progress. Sadly, even the sound of her rifle firing wasn't quite enough to completely drown out Comet's distant taunt of 'I bet you will'.

Reaching Mild, Applejack swung her scythe downwards towards him, only for Mild to leap to the side at the last second, his concentration broken. Which means that the soldiers'll stop attacking, Applejack thought to herself, sparing a glance around her to make sure that that was the case. What she saw was quite alarming. Presumably moments before releasing them, Mild had frozen the Prospitans in place so that the Dersite soldiers could kill them. Now that he was no longer in control, the only survivors were the Dersites - who were loyal to him anyway.

"Heh, I almost feel sorry for you," Mild said patronisingly as Applejack was shaken out of her surprise by several knives nearly managing to knock her hat off. "That would have been a nice plan if I was still 3."

"Don't try to be all high and mighty," Applejack replied, leaping over the attacking soldiers as she tried to make her way towards Mild. "It really doesn't suit ya." Again, her scythe narrowly missed the Thief, although it did manage to behead a few soldiers who were behind her.

"Ha, nice," Summer said approvingly, as she shot down a few more soldiers. Not that it helped, as there seemed to be an endless amount joining the battle. "But really, the best way to annoy him would just be to not react at all."

"Stop giving her advice!" Mild snapped, sending a knife flying towards Summer, who simply stepped out of its way. "You're going to regret not taking me seriously," he said, kicking Applejack away from him before taking flight and surrounding himself with a bright green glow. Instantly, Summer felt herself collapsing. This seemed odd to her as her eyes remained level. What also seemed odd was that she could see herself collapse a short distance away from where she was currently standing. Glancing down, she realised that for some reason she was a Dersite soldier, which she had almost certainly not been moments ago. This was all rather odd.

"Summer!" Applejack rushed towards the collapsed pegasus that Summer was supposed to be, as it picked itself up with a confused look. This didn't make any sense. Summer glanced up at the smiling Thief. This was his doing, so presumably her mind had been trapped in a Dersite soldier. But then, why was the blue pegasus still moving?

Oh. Realising what had happened, and what was probably about to happen, Summer began sprinting towards Applejack. If there was a Dersite soldier in her body, then... Suddenly, Applejack noticed the thing that looked like a soldier rushing towards her, and Summer was less concerned about Applejack's health and more about her own, as the farm pony slashed out at Summer with her scythe. A Dersite head rolled across the floor, and Summer instantly found herself in her own body once again, along with the distinct feeling of having just had her own head cut off.

It hurt like hell. To Applejack's dismay, Summer cried out in pain and collapsed again, while Mild smiled knowingly. Picking herself up - with Applejack's help - she and the earth pony stood facing Mild.

"You're going to pay for that," Summer said quietly, all desire to make jokes suddenly leaving her. Mild raised an eyebrow, but was paused as a bright light distracted all three ponies, causing them to glance at the illuminated quest bed in the distance. Gears clicked in Mild's head.

"I'm sure I will," he replied hurriedly. "But not today. I'll be taking my leave now." With that, he disappeared behind several waves of soldiers that suddenly rushed towards Summer and Applejack.

***

"Damn... this guy's tough," Celestia commented, while Luna tried to remember the few basic healing spells she knew. It would have been easier to do so if there wasn't quite so much blood, and if it wasn't leaving Celestia quite so quickly. She quickly glanced behind her to make sure the Queen was managing. She was, and if anything the monarch's attacks were becoming increasingly vicious as the battle wore on. "Hey sis, you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Luna assured her. "It's you we need to worry about." Suddenly Celestia's eyes widened, and she pointed a hoof behind her.

"Asshole at 6 o'clock!" She yelled, and Luna span around to see a large purple ship flying through the air towards them. On top of it could be seen a familiar grey god wearing bright green clothes. Mild.

"Oh, he just had to come back for another round, didn't he?" Luna sighed dramatically. "Alright, let's get this over with." To her surprise, however, the ship immediately turned as it approached, as the Black King knocked away the White Queen and leapt onto the ship. It buckled worryingly under the sudden weight, before pulling away at high speed from the pursuing Queen. "Ha, they're running away? How disappointing." Her words sounded hollow in her ears - fighting while defending an injured teammate was something of a recurring theme, and it almost always ended badly.

"Look on the bright side," Celestia pointed out. "We just saw an eighteenfold Black King jump onto a ship without sinking it. This is the most important step forward in disproving gravity since the double-jump." She grinned, which was a worrying sight given the amount of blood which was on the wrong side of her body.

Elsewhere on the Battlefield, Comet was rapidly running out of ideas. Star Swirl was getting tired, and although he probably had more resistance to magic than Silver, every second that she was maintaining a shield was effectively three seconds of casting lasers.

"OK, let me think..." Comet quickly got out his laptop.

[CURRENT fractalAbomination began responding to memo FIX EVERYTHING]

CFA: right

CFA: how do you kill silver

[FUTURE fractalAbomination began responding to memo FIX EVERYTHING]

FFA: wtf is this

FFA: you're using the walkthrough now?

FFA: no way. i don't use cheats. i'm a pro

FFA: i'm not having you being a little noob and make the rest of me look bad

CFA: what the hell

CFA: how is this cheating

FFA: how is this not cheating

FFA: i've done it

FFA: and you cba to figure it out for yourself so you want me to tell you

CFA: yeah. so tell me

FFA: no way, i worked it out by myself

FFA: when are you going to stop relying on yourself to help you and start solving things by yourself

CFA: ...

FFA: ...

CFA: ...

FFA: fuck

FFA: ok listen up

FFA: if you do this right, which you are damn well going to do, it is going to be badass

CFA: nice

CFA: do go on

FFA: right, here's what you do...

***

Wooh, back at last, here I-oh, wait a minute, I... ow...

When Golden Shine awoke, it was in a sea of chaos and destruction. His personal fanfare in the background was drowned out by the screams and the explosions, although all sound was just a faint background noise to him.

Wow, I feel good. Really, really good. I could probably destroy a planet, I feel so good! ... That's... that's an odd way of putting it. I don't normally think like that. Then again, I've never felt like this before.

Slowly, Golden came to realise what it was that wasn't quite right. He realised this when he noticed that he was standing upright on two legs, one of which was that of a lizard. He began suspecting that something wasn't quite right when he noticed his long, snaking tail, and his mismatched arms.

I... what the hell happened to me? This doesn't feel too good at all... or does it? What... what am I?

His mind could provide no answer to that question, other than a large golden apple that filled his vision. No, wait, it wasn't that. It was Prospit, dipping into the atmosphere of Skaia far above him. The sceptre whose power was nestled somewhere inside Golden was slowly dragging him towards the planet of darkness, and now Prospit was attempting to call its wayward hero back before he was lost forever. Golden understood all of this, and it made him a tiny bit furious. Outraged, even.

You want to save me now? It's a bit late for that, don't you think? Look at what's happened to me... I'm... I don't even know what I am! And why? Why did it happen to me? LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME!

Prospit neglected to provide its answer, assuming it had one. The evil of Derse shifted around in Golden's mind, firmly rooting itself in place. He was lost to Skaia now.

Look at me! Did I ever have any purpose in this game besides becoming... THIS!? Why am I here? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS? Damn it, I said to look at me!

Again, Prospit filled his sight, but this time it was of his own volition. The power of a King amplified by unicorn magic and the power of an Heir, reaching out and grasping hold of the golden planet in its entirety.

LOOK. AT. ME!

Prospit finally responded, as Golden's power dragged it out of the sky, and it began accelerating towards the Battlefield. Golden glanced down at the land where it was going to strike, spying a group of distant ponies battling. Even if they noticed the falling planet immediately, he doubted that all of them would get out of the way in time. He smiled.

Ponies are going to die today. That's... good.

***

"...and that's what we're doing. Got it?" Comet finished his explanation, which Star Swirl did his best to listen to despite being on the verge of collapse from sheer exhaustion.

"Do I really need to say the thing?" Star Swirl asked.

"Of course. That's the most important part," Comet said. "Anyway, let's do this." And with that, he froze time.

Not completely of course, but in a thin bubble around himself and Star Swirl, while Star Swirl continued to fire lasers. But instead of shooting forwards, they simply hovered in the air in front of them, while Comet looked out at the world around them, which - from their perspective - appeared frozen. Of course, in truth it was they who were frozen, existing in their own separate timeline for as long as Comet kept the spell functioning. After releasing it, the timeline would immediately snap back into place. Rapidly accelerating the flow of time and giant laser beams was a combination which always had good results, in Comet's experience.

Outside of the time freeze, Silver Edge deactivated her shield and took a few cautionary steps forwards. The two unicorns were completely frozen. That was surprising. Silver began to take another step forwards, when a voice called out to her.

"Hey Silver, hurry up!" Turning, she saw Mild piloting a large Dersite ship, with a colossal passenger behind him. Frantically, Mild pointed a hoof to a distant quest bed. "He's up! We need to get over there right now!" He pointed upwards, to where a rapidly growing Prospit-shaped object could be seen. "More to the point, we need to get away from here! Come on!" Gasping in surprise at the revelation that the Prospit-shaped object was, in fact, Prospit, Silver flew into the air and came to rest next to Mild on the ship. Immediately, the ship turned around and began flying away. "Whew, that was close. Hey, what were those two doing back there?" He asked, to which Silver shrugged.

"I don't know. Star Swirl was shooting lasers, and Comet was messing around with time or something, and then they just froze." The two ponies were silent for a few moments, and Silver glanced behind her at the two unicorns. "... oh, fuck no."

Unfreezing, and rapidly accelerating forwards to match up with the several minutes of missed time, Comet and Star Swirl were a little disconcerted by the sudden change from a cowering Silver Edge to an escaping Dersite warship, but there was no time to rethink their brilliant plan.

"Magicannon: Final Spark!" Comet and Star Swirl yelled in unison, as the combined efforts of two minutes worth of laser beams were fired forwards simultaneously, merging together into one enormous blast.

Back on the ship, Silver and Mild simply looked at each other.

"Did they just say final spar-" Mild began, before the laser caught up with the ship and things stopped being things which weren't light and pain.

***

"OK, no worries," Comet said quickly after being brought up to speed on Celestia and the missing Queen. "We need to get out of here, what with the Prospit and the crashing and the mysterious light that we don't know what it is and all that." After the surprising success of the magicannon, Comet was really struggling to stop grinning like an idiot. "I vote LOPAD. Luna, do the honours." Luna nodded, and then paused.

"Wait, what about Summer and AJ?" Comet looked around, finding an abundance of places where the two ponies weren't. Then he looked up at the ever-approaching Prospit. It was becoming increasingly warm and decreasingly happy, and he guessed that they had about a minute before dying.

"OK, you guys stay here, and be ready to hit that button the moment I tell you to hit the button. I'm going to try and find them." Comet turned around and sprinted into the distance, not waiting to argue about who should be going to find them. Above him, Prospit loomed.

Summer and Applejack stood catching their breath, waves of dead soldiers beneath them, and more approaching from all directions in spite of the danger. They had noticed Prospit halfway through the battle, but had realised that they would never have been able to get out of range in time.

"Hey, AJ," Summer began, "I'm sorry about all this. If it wasn't for my session then none of this would have happened." Applejack shook her head.

"Don't apologise," she said. "It's too late to change what's happened. Ya did what ya could." She smiled, in spite of the situation. "So... thanks."

"Summer!" Summer and Applejack both started at the sudden noise, glancing around them for the source. Eventually they saw Comet a few hills away from them, behind the walls of approaching waving madly. "Come on! We can get out of here!" The two ponies glanced at each other, and then up at the planet which was now about 30 seconds away.

"No," Summer yelled at him. "No we can't. Get out of here!" Turning in a full circle on the spot, she clubbed away the approaching soldiers with her rifle. "If I'm going to die, it's going to be awesome!" She looked over at Applejack, who grinned back at her. "Right, AJ?" The farm pony looked around. Even more soldiers, eager to take a couple of seconds of off their lives, approached from all sides, only to be either shot of beheaded, or both. And above them, an entire planet was careering towards them. And yet, Applejack felt alive. She grinned.

"Eeyup."

For a few seconds, Comet watched as the Heir of Light and the Knight of Life fought off the horde of Derse atop the hill where they were making their final stand, before helplessly turning back and running to safety.

***

"OK, we're safe for now," Star Swirl said, as he and the others appearified on the Land of Pillars and Doors. "Although we've lost our medic, so Celestia's wounds are looking a whole lot more serious now." Comet was silent.

"I'm fine," Celestia protested, although she remained on the ground. "Oh, look who it is." As one, the group turned to face Twilight and Silver Heart as they approached. "I Hope you've got some good news, Silver," Celestia said, giggling at her joke. "Did Golden ascend OK?" Silver nodded, and Twilight looked between the two of them with a confused expression.

"Wait... you guys don't know what happened?" Clearly they didn't, as they glared questioningly at Twilight, who shrank back a little. "Oh, I just assumed you did. Golden, he's..." she paused, swallowing her nerves. "...turned into Discord." She attempted to say the last part a little too quietly to hear, but sadly she failed. Silver looked at her as if she had suggested that maybe genocide wasn't such a bad idea.

"What!?" Silver asked, the others sharing her confusion and anger. "Whatever makes you think that?"

"I don't think that, I know it," Twilight replied. "Star Swirl, your sprite was a big jumble of different things, right?" Star Swirl nodded. "Mild put Golden's dreamself into it as well, and then when he ascended... the two Goldens combined, along with all of that random stuff, which came from an inherently evil sceptre. The result, of course, is Discord."

"Wait a minute," Luna said. "How long have you known all of this?" Twilight paused. She couldn't tell anyone about the other Comet, especially not while Comet was around.

"Uh... well, since I came here from LOWAF and found the sprite." Comet, who had been silent up until now, finally spoke.

"Yeah, that was something else I wanted to ask," he said. "Why did you come here, of all places? You knew there was a battle happening."

"I..." Twilight paused, considering her options. The easiest thing to do would be to take the credit for the reset, like Comet had suggested. "OK, there's something I need to tell all of you. This session, or rather the Universe it comes from, is the parent of the Universe that me and Comet come from." She waited for a few moments for the others to digest that. "There's a feature of Sburb reserved for failed game sessions, that allows the players to initiate what's called a Scratch, or a reset. It completely resets the initial starting conditions, and creates a parallel Universe from the parent one - similar, but slightly different. That's what happens. This session is scratched and out of that comes my Universe. And knowing that, that means that this session fails, and that means that something really terrible happens."

"So the Scratch mechanism is on LOPAD, which is why you came here?" Comet asked, and Twilight nodded. "And you didn't think to tell anyone else about this while you went off and... and what, reset the session? It hasn't happened yet, obviously, so it must have some kind of startup." Twilight nodded again. "Which means that, rather than us be wiped out along with the session, your plan must be to escape back to your session. You planned that out, you knew it was going to happen, but you didn't even think to tell us we were going to have to leave before being reset!?"

"I..." Twilight faltered under the irritated faces glaring at her. She sought out a familiar face, and found none. "Hey... where's Applejack?"

"Oh, you want to know where Applejack is?" Comet asked, his tone suggesting to Twilight that she didn't want to know where Applejack was. "She's in the same place as Summer. Specifically, she's buried beneath 801 metric fucktons of golden masonry because you didn't tell us jack shit about what was going on!" Twilight nearly gave in at that point, nearly telling him about future Comet, about how she hadn't understood what was happening until it was too late, about how she was just as scared and confused as the others. Nearly, but she didn't. She was able to keep control of herself, but only through the unifying power of anger.

"Do you think I wanted this to happen!?" Twilight snapped back at all of the others. "Do you all think that I was just sitting here cackling to myself while I watched some great plan unfolding?" Their angry faces were angled away, unable to bring themselves to look at her. "I don't have any more of an idea what happens next than any of you do!" There was silence, as the whole group stood in confusion. They were all furious, and had no idea who they were furious with.

"Is this a bad time?" Discord asked, appearing from behind a tiny pebble. "I do hope I'm not interrupting anything." He grinned a slow, wicked grin.

Chapter 32

View Online

"Is this a bad time?" Discord asked, appearing from behind a tiny pebble. "I do hope I'm not interrupting anything." He grinned a slow, wicked grin. Silver and the others leapt backwards in surprise, any anger with each other buried beneath sheer terror. If Discord took any notice of this, he didn't show it. "Hey Silver, how's it going?" The look he gave her, although horribly warped, was disturbingly recognisable.

"I..." Silver didn't want to believe it. This monster was not Golden. There was no way that was actually a thing which was true. And yet she knew that it was. "... Golden?"

"You're more of a purple colour, actually," Discord replied. "And I know you're happy to see me, but do try to remember your verbs." Clasping his hands together, he advanced towards the group in an unnervingly happy fashion. "Well, what are we going to do now?" Star Swirl and Luna exchanged bemused glances.

"What... what do you think we're going to do?" Luna asked tentatively. Discord shrugged.

"I don't know. I'm not the brains of this operation. I thought we were going to fight Mild and evil Silver, but by the time I got there you'd all ran back here. Did something go wrong?" No one responded. No one dared to. Discord frowned, a little disappointed. "Oh, I see, the silent treatment. I die for, what, two hours, and suddenly I'm out of the loop? Is that it?"

"Golden, you..." Star Swirl began, pausing slightly at the cautionary glare that Comet gave him. "Uh... you didn't notice what happened on Skaia?"

"No, can't say I did," Discord said simply. "Although I do remember a lot of exploding and burning and screaming."

"... huh," Star Swirl said, unsure of how to bring up the rather uncomfortable topic of Golden's recent descent into his current state. "Say, Golden, do you... do you feel any different?" Comet was shaking his head at Star Swirl rather vigorously, but was ignored.

"Not really. Why would I?" Discord asked, waving his claw around absently. Then he happened to catch sight of it, and stared at the appendage with intense curiosity. "Oh, right, I forgot about that." He looked down at his chest, where the curious purple shape looked back at him. "It's weird; I don't really know what I am now. I thought you were meant to magically know what your title is or something, aren't you?" He looked up at Luna, and was greeted with the rather surprising sight of a bow pulled back and aimed right at him. "W... what!? What are you doing?" The others reacted to Luna with similar cries of confusion, who simply held her ground.

"Golden, I'm going to ask you a question, and I want a simple answer," Luna said, her voice shaking slightly. The bow remained firmly held in place, however. "Are you on our side, or not?"

"What? What kind of a question is that!?" Discord protested, stopping himself just before he took a step towards Luna. Something told him that would be a bad idea. "I know I'm not much to look at right now, but I'm still me! Why would you even think otherwise?"

"Because two of our friends just died as a result of a gog damn planet dropping on them. Who did that, I wonder?" Discord opened his mouth, but decided against saying anything. "Those two friends, as it happens, include the only pony that can save Celestia, so I am really not in the best of moods right now." Luna shook her head. "So, I'm going to ask again. Are you on our side, or not?"

For a few minutes, Discord was silent. Was Luna serious? Did she really think he would betray them? How could she... how dare she, or anyone else, question him! He was their friend, and now they were turning against him! When at last Discord spoke, his voice shook with rage.

"If you're going to make me choose, then I may as well choose the winning team," Discord said, before darting forwards and stabbing Luna with his umbrella. Pulling it, and an alarming amount of blood, back out of the startled Witch, he grabbed hold of the Paradox Gate that Luna dropped before hopping back behind a pebble and vanished.

For the next few minutes, very little was achieved that wasn't panicking or dying.

***

This world looked like any other. This was to say, it looked like every other world. Large tracts of land from completely different planets flanked each other, joining seamlessly along their curiously straight edges, as if this world was some bizarre photo album. Some of the areas, Applejack recognised - behind her she could see the misty forest of the Land of Secrets and Lies, and off in the distance was a large golden tower from Prospit. Something clicked in her mind. Prospit, falling. Specifically, falling onto her.

"So why ain't Ah dead yet?" Applejack said aloud, her voice echoing around her in a strange and unexpected way. Perhaps, on some level of her subconscious, she already knew the truth.

"You are," Summer's voice informed her, and Applejack span around to meet the pegasus before recoiling backwards in surprise. Summer was standing in front of her, as if nothing had happened, although something was quite clearly wrong. Her eyes were solid white circles, and she wasn't blinking. "And so am I. It was quite dramatic, so I guess I achieved one of my goals before dying."

"We're... we're dead?" Applejack looked around her. Two dead crocodiles skipped past them, holding hands and whistling merrily. "This ain't exactly what Ah expected." Summer shrugged.

"Hey, don't complain. This isn't so bad." Summer gestured a hoof over the nearest cathedral. "Let's go explore." And with that, she took off into the sky, with Applejack following close behind.

"Is there any way for us to get back?" Applejack asked, as they soared above rivers of blood and oceans of knives. "Dying doesn't normally seem to stop anyone from coming back in this game."

"True," Summer said. "Our dreamselves and our waking selves are all dead, which means we can't do anything at the moment. But if either of those selves were taken to our quest beds, then we might be able to come back." She thought for a moment. "Although, your dreamself was blown up, mine is in a different incipisphere to everyone else, and both of our waking selves are buried at the heart of a giant crater in the side of the Battlefield. I don't know how high our chances of ascension actually are, but I wouldn't bother holding your breath."

"And there's no other way to get out of here?" As if offended, the skies above the afterlife took a definite turn for the purple, and the two ponies passed through a large field of huge wooden doors.

"Not to my knowledge," Summer said. "In case you cared, we're in a dream bubble. There's thousands of them, each containing the memories of those who reside in the afterlife. We can travel between them, with a little effort, but outside of the bubbles we don't actually exist."

"... and how did ya find that out?" Applejack asked, although she was beginning to notice a connection between asking ponies how they knew something and bad things happening. Everyone, it seemed, had something to hide.

"You're about to find out," Summer said. "Look over there." Applejack looked, and the sight which greeted her almost brought tears to her eyes. Nestled between a mountain of cake and a towering Palace of Heart, was a small patch of what could be considered 'normal countryside'. And right in the centre was a tiny group of buildings that Applejack hadn't seen in what felt like years. Ponyville. Now that the constant excitement of Sburb wasn't in the way, and she was being confronted with what she had left behind, Applejack began to feel extremely homesick, even as they drew closer to Ponyville. Suddenly she was remembering everything that would have happened if she hadn't begun to play the game, and all of the ponies that she wouldn't see again. "Hey, are you OK?" Summer asked.

"Ah'm fine," Applejack muttered, as they descended onto the ground just outside of the town. "Ah was just thinking." Any further discussion was interrupted by the appearance of two of the happiest dead ponies that Applejack had ever seen.

"AJ! Summer!" Destiny called. "Rainbow and I were just talking about you!"

***

"Urgh..." Hurling large sections of warship in every direction, Mild slowly freed himself and Silver from the pile of rubble which they had woken up beneath. "That was stupid." Pulling apart a wall and cautiously stepping out into the light of Skaia, Mild froze at the sight which greeted him. "Oh, wow." At this reaction, Silver pushed herself past him so that she too could be suitably impressed.

They found themselves precisely on the edge of a crater that spanned beyond the horizon, removing what must have been approaching an entire quarter of the Battlefield in the process. Scattered within the crater were colossal chunks of golden stone, although they were tiny compared with the mass that had caused the devastation. Without their prison beneath the warship, Silver didn't doubt that both she and Mild would have been killed. It was funny how things turned out.

"Well," Silver said. "It seems that being on the wrong end of a pop culture reference has finally paid off." A thought occurred to her. "Hey, so... where's Golden?" Mild gave her a panicked expression, before taking flight and glancing around. Silver flew up to meet him. "Any sign?" Mild shook his head.

"This is bad. We need to find him and explain what's going on quickly, before he takes off with his own ideas of right and wrong." Urgently, Mild took out his laptop and attempted to contact the wayward Heir.

[psychoticDeceiver began pestering eclecticSage]

PD: Hello?

ES: Oh. It's you.

ES: Why are you talking to me?

PD: What? Why wouldnt I be talking to you?

ES: ...

ES: Do I have a choice in this?

PD: Uh...

PD: I think were on slightly different wavelengths here.

PD: Youve ascended, correct?

PD: So we need to regroup. Get over here and I can explain everything.

ES: Yes, that's what I meant. I'm automatically evil now, right?

ES: And now I just have to go along with it and be on your team for no reason other than because that's what I'm meant to do?

PD: Uh.

PD: Maybe youre taking a while to adjust?

PD: In the future youll be a lot happier about our arrangement, and the sooner you get over here the sooner I can do whatever I do to convince you.

ES: Perhaps I don't want to be on your team.

PD: ... uh, then... whose team would you be on?

ES: I've had enough of teams. They're boring.

ES: I may go solo for a while.

PD: No, wait!

ES: Hm? What does it matter to you?

ES: Oh... right.

ES: I almost flattened you beneath a planet.

ES: You're scared of me.

PD: Wait, this conversation is going in entirely the wrong direction.

ES: Shut up.

ES: Just stay where you are.

ES: If I change my mind then I'll come and find you.

ES: ... come to think of it, even if I don't change my mind I'm sure I'll come and find you sooner or later.

PD: ...

ES: In the meantime, have fun without me.

[eclecticSage ceased being pestered by psychoticDeceiver]

"Well?" Silver asked, as Mild captchalogued his laptop. His face seemed a whole lot greener than usual, although that could have been the light reflecting off of his cloak.

"I think," Mild said slowly, "that he could have responded more positively to that."

"Oh dear," Silver groaned, shaking her head in despair. "OK, you stay here and hold the fort. I'm going to go clean up the mess you've made."

***

"To die, a God Tier player's death must be either heroic or just," Silver explained. "For instance, if Mild died then his death would almost certainly be permanent." Luna had finally recovered from her fatal wounds, and now the only pony of any cause for concern was Celestia. "Getting stabbed out of nowhere by an insane psychopath is hardly what I'd call heroic."

"What about if Golden died?" Star Swirl asked. Silver glared at him.

"If Discord died, then I should think it would count as just," Silver replied. Golden was gone, she had decided. There was no hope for him now. It was easier to think about it that way. "So anyway, what's our next move?"

"Well, according to Sparkles, this session's going to be taking a turn for the worse pretty soon," Comet said. "We need to get out of here. I don't much like it, but even if she hadn't started the Scratch there's not a lot we could do. I mean, Prospit literally crashed into the Battlefield. All of it and the Reckoning's drawing to a close. I don't think a legion of gods could save Skaia now."

"We also need to do something about Celestia," Twilight pointed out. Silver and Comet glanced over at the pony in question, who waved happily at them. "We probably have time to get her to the quest bed on LOWAF, but..." She glanced upwards at the recent addition to the skies of LOPAD - a large crystalline structure around which thousands of bright lights were circling, that was gradually approaching the distant shape of Skaia. "If we ran into trouble then she might face a fate worse than death." Comet nodded.

"The smartest thing to do would be to play it safe. We need to focus on getting back to your session, where we can use your Space quest bed." Assuming, of course, that it hadn't been used already. It occurred to Comet that Discord had been running riot in Twilight's session for all the time that he had been away. Anything could have happened in that time.

"OK then," Diamond said. "But first we need to get the Paradox Gate off of Discord, before he escapes. Assuming we can even catch him, I don't know if we're powerful enough to stop him, but the alternative is that we die anyway. Is that OK with everyone?"

"I suppose it'll have to be," Star Swirl said, in a tone that made it quite clear that he wasn't OK with the plan. "Does anyone have any idea where he'll be?"

"Yeah," Comet said. "I've got a hunch."

***

"Hey, Golden." Silver Edge ignored the murderous look that Discord gave her as she approached, sitting herself down beside the lonely god. Below them, the expanse of the Land of Souls and Spirit stretched out for immense distances. From this height, the planet felt completely empty. "I knew you'd be here somewhere." Discord gave a short, hollow laugh.

"What happened? Did you decide that you couldn't accomplish anything in an hour or so, so you may as well die right now?" It would have been threatening if he hadn't looked so depressed. Silver shook her head, more for her own benefit than for his.

"You're not going to kill me, Golden. I'm not the one you're angry with." She didn't fail to notice the iguana corpses that were scattered at the foot of the cathedral on which they were sitting. "I'm just here to let you know that it's not over until you decide it's over."

"What does that even mean?" Discord asked. "There's no meaning to what I do anymore. And why should there be? Why can't I just be, for the sake of being?" He reached out a hand, which was immediately filled with a very startled looking rabbit. "I don't see the point in trying to achieve something as ultimately pointless as winning a game."

"I'm not trying to win a game," Silver said. "I'm trying to achieve something real. Something that will last." She took out her own Paradox Gate, and compared it with the one that Discord had stolen. "Do you know what these are?"

"They're teleporters," Discord said. "You can use them to teleport anywhere in the three sessions that all of us are from." Silver nodded.

"True, but that's not all you can use them for. Not if you know what you're doing," she said. "If you have a strong enough power supply, you can break through walls that would otherwise be impossible to breach." Discord was listening now.

"What walls?" Silver smiled. She knew that she'd won now.

"Walls that surround the thing which binds our sessions together. The reason why the three sessions are so closely knit together." She pointed a hoof at the dice in the middle of the Gate, in all its popamatic wonder. "And if we can get to it, we can take control our destinies." Discord was quite for a while.

"And you and Mild have a plan, I assume?" Discord asked. "You do know how it can be done, right?" Silver grinned.

"Absolutely. But it will only work," she added, spinning her Gate around herself, "if we have your cooperation."

***

"OK, so, here's what happened," Rainbow began, after everyone had gotten reacquainted. "There's just the four of us on LOTAF, fighting off agents and underlings and everything. I guess Echidna and Derse must have both realised we were in kind of a tight spot or something, since suddenly they really stepped up their games." A loud explosion rocked the temple where they were sitting, but no one paid any attention to it. "And when I say the four of us were fighting, I mean three of us, but with a fourth member who refused to fight. Although I did hide behind Fluttershy more than once so her armour could actually be used for something."

"So, when did it all go wrong?" Summer asked.

"It was going fine, except that we were all getting tired. I knew we had to do something or we'd never survive long enough for you guys to get back to us. So, this is what I did..."

***

"Ember, keep an eye on Fluttershy. I'm going to give these guys something else to worry about." Rainbow soared upwards, surveying her surroundings. Soldiers were approaching from all angles, although most were being swatted aside by the powerful underlings. You had to be careful around the soldiers, though. They were weak, but clever. Unleashing a gust of wind that arced viciously around and through the nearest ogre, Rainbow sent it careering backwards onto the next wave of enemies. She was coping, for now, but the recent development of her Breath powers did little to slow the learning curve. She needed to do something a little more permanent to the enemy supply.

Hey, Rainbow.

Rainbow blinked, shaking the voice out of her head. Now was not the time to be hallucinating about ghost-Rarity.

Don't ignore me! This isn't easy, you know!

"Urgh, what do you want?" Rainbow asked, dashing forwards in time to blast a Marble Wyvern out of the sky. It shrieked uselessly as high pressure winds tore through its fragile wings and sent it crashing onto a platoon of soldiers far below.

I was just going to say, you could stop the underlings by killing the denizen. Or at least, disorganise them.

"Oh, yeah? And how do you suppose I do that?" Rainbow said. "I don't even know where she is!"

She's in the palace of Space. Just go ahead and take her out, it'll help in the long run.

"You're not going to shut up if I don't, are you?" Rainbow sighed, before turning back to her friends. "Hey, Ember! Acapella! I'm going to go and take out Echidna!"

"I don't think that now's the best time!" Acapella shouted over the noise of the battle. "Can't it wait until after we're not fighting off the best part of everyone?"

"Not really, no!" Rainbow shouted back. "I only need about ten minutes!"

"I don't know if we can wait that long!" Acapella replied, her cane giving out an endless supply of black eyes and ruptured kidneys to the advancing soldiers. "Just hurry back!" And then Rainbow was gone in an explosion of colour and sound. Sonic rainbooms were so much easier when you could control the atmosphere.

Reaching the palace of Space in a matter of minutes and diving into the temple without taking the time to slow down, Rainbow narrowly dodged between pillars and iron grates as she descended through the palace in record time, throwing herself into the temple of Echidna.

"Alright Echidna, I hope you've made your peace, because I've got no time to waste!" Rainbow roared as the denizen opened one eye sleepily. Seeing no one but Rainbow, it then closed after a moment's thought. Rainbow growled. "Oh, if that's how you want to play it then fine by me!" Equipping her lance and diving through the air towards the denizen, Rainbow closed her eyes and rapidly accelerated towards her victim. On reflection, closing her eyes was not a brilliant decision and she found herself swatted aside with the force of a train driving into a brick wall. Or, more accurately, a train driving into another train. Ignoring the terrible pain in her wings, Rainbow desperately tried to get herself under control before she crashed into the temple wall, barely managing to do so before she needed to dodge another swing of Echidna's tail.

"You are a fool to challenge me alone, Rogue!" Echidna said, as she caused the entire chamber to shake and crumble around Rainbow. This wasn't going so well, Rainbow realised. "How do you expect to win?" A boulder narrowly avoided crashing into Rainbow's head, as the ceiling above the chamber began to break apart.

Rainbow, do the Windy thing.

"What?" Rainbow asked with a bemused expression, although she didn't have anyone to aim it at.

Do the Windy thing.

"I don't know any Windy thing," Rainbow said.

Rainbow do the Windy thing.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Rainbow protested. "I'm not going to suddenly be able to do the 'Windy thing' just because you keep tell me to!"

Make it blowy and gusty.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Rainbow practically yelled into the air. "I can make wind and stuff, but how is that going to help?"

Just do it.

"But-"

Do the Windy thing do the Windy thing do the Windy thing.

And then Rainbow suddenly did the Windy thing.

***

"I don't suppose you'd be willing to hand that Gate over, would you?" Silver Heart asked, causing both Discord and Silver Edge to jump back in surprise. They were sitting on the edge of a cliff, but fortunately they could both fly. "Only you seem to have a monopoly over the Monopony boards, and it's hardly fair."

"Yeah, what she said," Comet agreed, as he and Twilight followed Silver towards their two opponents. "Let's be honest here, neither of us has time to waste fighting with each other."

"True," Discord said. "But then, Silver and I could just leave, and take both Gates with us."

"Well, yes," Comet admitted. "I suppose that's technically true. But where would be the sport in that?" Twilight covered her face with her hooves. "OK, final chance for appealing to your better nature, are you going to hand it over or not?" Silver Edge glanced warily between Discord and Silver Heart, until Discord sighed.

"Now, listen, it's not that I don't want to give it to you..." he paused. "Oh wait, yes it is." Suddenly the MAP disappeared from his paw, and a triumphant future Comet teleported away. "Wait, what the-" Before Discord could react, Luna and Star Swirl emerged from their hiding places with arrows and lasers aplenty. Suddenly Silver Edge was by his side, and activating her Paradox Gate before that too was taken by time-travelling thieves, and the two disappeared. The remaining ponies stood and paused for breath.

"Well, that was a success," Comet reasoned. "Back in a minute." With that, he vanished a minute back in time, and immediately reappeared with a Paradox Gate in hoof. "Sometimes, I love predetermined outcomes." Twilight shook her head.

"I wish that once, just once, we could have a plan that didn't rely on being stupidly lucky."

***

Whirling huge boulders around the chamber, Rainbow's Windy thing was somehow more powerful than it had ever been before. She had control over everything in the chamber, and Echidna could do nothing except provide her with more ammunition. The denizen was being battered from all directions by an endless torrent of stones and huge slabs of ancient text, until finally - with a scream that could be heard across LOTAF - she dissolved into an ocean of grist, the sheer volume of which pushed Rainbow out of the chamber and back up into the palace.

"Wow." Rainbow sat in shock for a few seconds. "That was badass."

Yes, yes, well done. Now, get out there and help the others!

"Oh right, yeah." There was no rest for the wicked, Rainbow supposed. Picking herself back up again, she shot off into the sky at four times the speed of sensible.

Fortunately, it seemed that Rarity's plan had worked, as the underlings seemed to be much less interested in attacking. If anything, they seemed rather bored. Of course, the threat wasn't dealt with yet. Soldiers were still advancing below Rainbow, and removing the underling threat was sure to bring Mild or Discord down to investigate.

"Is everyone doing OK?" Rainbow asked Rarity, which was followed by a few awkward moments in which it wasn't entirely clear whether or not Rarity was still there.

Well... none of them are dead yet.

That was reassuring.

Silver is holding Fluttershy at axe point, though.

"Wait, what!? How did she get to Fluttershy?" Although it wasn't strictly possible, Rainbow accelerated even faster in response to this development.

That's a long and unnecessary story. The point is that she has, and obviously Ember and Acapella can't do anything.

"Man, I leave those two for ten minutes, and this happens." Rainbow sighed wearily. "OK, I can handle that.

She's going to kill Fluttershy at the first sign of anything, Rainbow.

"Yeah, I know," Rainbow laughed slightly. "Silver won't know what hit her."

***

"So how did you die?" Summer asked, only for Destiny to silence her with a mumbled 'shoosh'.

"She's getting to that," Destiny admonished. "Don't you have any appreciation for proper story pacing?" Summer blinked.

"Never heard of it."

***

"Don't feel bad," Silver Edge soothed in as unpleasant a way as possible, as Ember and Acapella were surrounded by soldiers and disarmed. "There was never anything you could do." Fluttershy whimpered slightly, causing Silver's axe to drop another centimetre closer to her. "Fluttershy, I told you about that. If you so much as quiver, this is going to be over before it even gets started."

"Silver, I get that you have some unresolved issues," Acapella said, attempting to reason with the unicorn. "Like, maybe we were all a bit on edge around you because of the whole 'shared body' thing. None of us really knew what the deal with it was, so maybe we just sort of avoided you." Silver gave her an odd look. "And that wasn't very nice of us, and I'm sorry about that. But you're not really letting us make amends here, are you?"

"Acapella, I don't," Silver began. "And I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I don't really care if you like me or not. I'm not killing you all because you don't like me. That would be childish. I'm killing you because otherwise you'll stop me and my plans, and that's not something I want to happen. You're the means to an end, that's all."

"Then why are you doing that to Fluttershy?" Ember demanded angrily. "She's not going to stop you!" He paused, and his face grew pale. "Ah, wait, that came out wrong!"

"Ember, no one cares," Silver said. "Like I said, means to an end. If Fluttershy's life is on the line then neither of you two are able to lift a hoof to stop me." Suddenly, noise and light came from the area which had previously occupied Fluttershy, and the axe swung down heavily. At the same time, Silver flew upwards as Ember smashed his hammer into where she had previously been standing, while Acapella rushed towards the pile of pony where Fluttershy had been knocked. Almost immediately she realised what had happened.

Rainbow had flown into Fluttershy, knocking her away from Silver just in time to save her from being killed by the axe. Unfortunately, that meant that Rainbow wasn't quite far away enough to escape, and the axe had carved a large gash into her flank. After glancing behind her to make sure that Ember was coping, Acapella set about trying to stop the bleeding.

Meanwhile, Ember was busy venting the built-up bloodlust that he had been gathering since being captured. Spires of earth leapt out of the ground and skewered tanks and soldiers, arcing towards Silver who narrowly dodged between them. Switching to his bombkind abstrata, Ember tossed a Schwarzschild's Revenge towards Silver. She dodged again, but it was difficult to truly escape the blast radius of an exploding black hole. The earth which had been forced upwards was shattered by the explosion, raining down onto the disoriented unicorn as she fled from the attacking Prince. Once again equipping his warhammer, Ember swung the weapon into the falling splinters of rock, knocking them towards Silver. A few of them actually hit, causing the Sylph to crumble into a heap on the ground before she finally managed to transportalise away. Pausing for breath, Ember made his way back to where Acapella, Rainbow and Fluttershy were waiting. As he approached however, Acapella looked up and shook her head.

Rainbow was dead.

Chapter 33

View Online

It was funny how things turned out. Mild Darkness looked around him, surveying the cast of his little group in its entirety, spread out around the deck of the Prospitan warship they had taken control of. Silver Edge, a unicorn dreamself, a fairly high level Sylph of Hope. She had been on Mild's side since near the very beginning. He had never trusted her, of course, but over the course of their conquest of reality he had found some form of respect for the axe-wielding maniac. They had their differences, but he was at least starting to consider her as... a friend? Maybe not. Not yet, anyway.

Next to her was the colossal eighteenfold Black King in all his glory, making a mockery out of their ship's capacity to float. Although impressively dimensioned, among friends the King's expression had lightened dramatically. He seemed thoroughly excited about their adventure, and had enjoyed a brief few minutes of humming merrily before Silver had threatened to cut his head off and use the blood to write a teenage romance novel about two zombies who learn to love. After that his behaviour had been impeccable. Mild had grown to like the King, in a strange kind of way. It felt wrong to befriend him when they would soon be leaving him for dead, but it was hard not to feel some form of affection for a hideously powerful monarch taking orders from a slightly pissed off unicorn without any special powers. Maybe that was why he had been elected.

And finally, of course, was Discord. Discord, the God Tier unicorn, a fully realised and absolutely batshit crazy Heir of Rage. The newest and the oldest member of the group simultaneously, with mood swings as inconsistent as his biological composition. Silver insisted on calling him Golden, and Mild decided to go along with this for the time being. It wasn't like Discord had ever actually asked to be called that. As for how Mild felt about their mysterious benefactor... if he was being honest with himself, Mild was absolutely terrified of Discord. Soon, Discord would somehow end up in Mild's incipisphere, and initiate both him and Silver into the group and explain the plan. Then they would journey to this incipisphere, and do everything that Mild and Silver had just done, resulting in Discord's ascension. And now... what? What purpose did he and Silver serve? Where they really just obsolete now, and it was simply a matter of time before Discord remembered that and killed them? Mild knew that Silver was convinced that Discord was still, on some level, Golden. She believed that, and she thought that she could reach out to that part of him. Maybe it would work. All Mild knew was that he didn't like their chances of survival if it didn't.

"Right. The Scratch is less than an hour away," Mild stated. "If we want to remain in existence then we ought to get moving now."

"Wait," Discord said, his voice rather quiet and calm. It unnerved Mild to see him so relaxed. "I need to do something first." Without another word, he flew off of the ship and into the dark void. Mild stood in silence for a few minutes.

"Well, I suppose that would be alright," he said uselessly, shaking his head and turning to Silver. "What do you think about him?" Silver shrugged.

"He's lost, and he's confused, and I don't blame him. He's woken up in a different body, in a different situation, and everyone is suddenly treating him like he doesn't belong..." she shook her head. "He's like me. Somewhere in there is the Golden that I... uh, I mean..."

"The Golden that someone completely different is best friends with," Mild finished. "So what? That Golden isn't on our side."

"That Golden is the only reason we're still alive," Silver corrected, with a hint of bitterness in her tone. "Because he's holding back the darkness and the chaos, and the all-consuming Rage. Come to think of it, he's the only reason that he's still alive. An entity like Discord can't exist without someone like Golden to ground it, to make it stable."

"He doesn't look particularly stable," Mild said. "But as long as you know what you're doing, feel free to continue manipulating his emotions."

"Firstly, that's not what I'm doing," Silver said. "And secondly, of course I know what I'm doing. Or at least, I Hope so."

***

The events of the last few hours had left a certain amount of unspoken animosity amongst the group that had taken shelter on LOPAD. Of course, no one had done, or would do, anything as a result of this. But there was no casual conversation, or brave smiles in the face of an impossible challenge. There was only silence, and fear.

Diamond Heart, in particular, was beginning to question herself. Why was she here? What purpose did she serve? She had done nothing useful, nothing of importance, the whole time she had been in this incipisphere. Why had she come? To find out about Silver Heart, more than anything. And in that, she had certainly succeeded - Silver Heart was the same as her, except actually useful. She had ascended to God Tier; she had finished quests, defended her friends; she had also inadvertently turned her dead 'friend' into an insane murderer, but Diamond supposed there was no such thing as a perfect day. But Diamond wasn't angry at Silver for stealing the spotlight, so to speak. She was angry with herself for not doing anything about it. Why was she here?

"Aurgh, fuck it," Comet announced, rousing everypony from their respective stupors. "Let's just get out of here. The Scratch isn't far off, and nothing else is going to happen besides us failing in the most embarrassingly avoidable way ever. Let's leave."

And then the large crystal structure in the sky, which Comet had taken to affectionately calling the 'Disco Ball of Destiny', exploded. Or, more accurately, a large explosion rocked one side of the DBoD, causing it to pause and spin dramatically, as several chunks of crystal were sent flying away in all directions. Almost immediately, the increasingly fancy light show which was illuminating Skaia suddenly died out. The DBoD froze, and all was silent.

"... I think," Star Swirl said. "That we might have a problem." A murmur of agreement slowly travelled around the group. "Does anyone have any idea what the hell just happened?" Silver stood up.

"It's Discord," she said. "It has to be. As for why..." she paused. "I'm going to go take care of it. You guys wait here." Something more than a murmur of disagreement leapt around the group. "He's trying to get our attention. I'm going to go and deal with it."

"Well, that's very heroic of you, Silver," Comet said. "Counterpoint: that means if you die then it will be permanent. So I'm afraid we can't let you do that."

"We have to do something," Twilight said. "This Scratch has to happen, right? Or... or we don't have a universe to come from?" Comet nodded. "So someone has to go."

"I'm this session's hero of Time," Star Swirl said. "So I'll go."

"You don't have any idea how it works," Comet interjected. "Twilight's the one who got it working, and she can't go by herself because she can't fly."

"Then why don't you come with me?" Twilight asked. "Or why don't you go by yourself? I'm sure you could figure it out."

"Flattering as that may be, no."

"Guys, shut up, it doesn't matter," Luna said. "Silver's already gone."

"Alone!?" Comet and Twilight both turned to look, just seeing Silver and Diamond disappearing into the Medium. "... oh. Didn't see that one coming."

***

There hadn't been much debate about it in Diamond's mind. There Silver went again, about to go and do something daring and exciting, and leave Diamond behind to occasionally offer words of wisdom that no one listened to. Well, not this time. This time, Diamond wasn't going to sit back and do nothing. She was going to damn well do something.

She just wished that it had been something other than agreeing to go and deal with the most dangerous enemy imaginable. On reflection, there was probably a reason why she hadn't done anything useful, and it wasn't just because she had been too lazy. Diamond was scared. Luckily, professional rivalry worked wonders for dealing with fear.

"I didn't ask you to come with me," Silver said. Diamond shrugged, to indicate how much she didn't really care. "It's just, this is between me and... Discord." Silver had outright refused to call the enemy in question 'Golden'. On that note, Diamond supposed it was for the best that she had come along. At least now they could actually talk to Discord, which would have been difficult to do without referring to him by name.

"That's why I figured you shouldn't go alone," Diamond said. "Or at least, why the one person who does go shouldn't be emotionally attached to him." Silver's face immediately lit up.

"I'm not emotionally attached to that thing!" Silver protested. Diamond laughed.

"Bullshit." Diamond shook her head. "Point number 1: basically everyone knows by now what the deal was with you and Golden." She ignored Silver's continued protests. "Point number 2: Discord is Golden, whichever way you look at it. Point number 3: Always have 3 points. Always."

"I argue with that on several levels," Silver said. "First, and foremost, that thing is not my Golden." She paused. "Uh, I mean, that thing is not Golden. Yeah."

"OK, whatever," Diamond said. "So with that in mind, what's our plan for when we get there?" It occurred to Diamond that they had no idea what was going to happen upon arriving at the Disco Ball of Destiny, and that they were probably going to get ambushed and immediately killed. It also occurred to her that it was far too late to turn back now.

"Our goal is to restart the Scratch," Silver said. "If Discord is there and tries to stop us, first we reason with him, and then we fight him when that doesn't work."

"Do you seriously think that we stand a chance against him?" Diamond asked, to which Silver shrugged.

"Frankly, Diamond, I never expected to come back from this alive. Which is why, as I believe I've said before, I didn't ask you to come with me." The two travelled in silence for a few more minutes. "We're... we're quite different, aren't we? Silver Edge is someone with very different motives to me. She's manipulative and cruel, but... I understand her. She makes sense to me. She's someone that I could be, given a different environment. But you and I, we're completely different!"

"No we're not," Diamond said. "We're similar in the same way that Silver Edge and I are similar. All three of us know what we want, and try to do everything we can to get it. We know that the only one we can rely on is ourselves, and we know that everyone else either helps us or gets in our way."

"Then how are we different?" Silver asked. Diamond hesitated before answering.

"... you two have found what you want," Diamond eventually replied. "For however brief a time, however slight a glimpse of it you may have had, you found it. And that's why I know you're not going to let a little thing like a predetermined outcome stop you from trying to get it back." Silver gave an odd look at the pony she knew so little about, yet who seemed to know her better than she did. "And I can respect that, so I'm not going to stop you from trying." Diamond looked Silver in the eyes. "But when it doesn't work, I'm not going to let you throw your life away for some hopeless dream."

"... OK."

***

It was funny how things turned out. The Chalk Imp went completely unnoticed as it crept around the weeping pegasus. Her suit of armour was an imposing challenge, but the Imp was either too confident or too stupid to care. It drew another few steps closer.

Unaware of her stalker, Fluttershy was far too preoccupied with the recent passing of one of her absolute best friends ever. Rainbow Dash, more than any other of her friends, had been her anchor during this game. While the four of them had been holding out on LOTAF, Rainbow had been there for her, making sure she was OK, always checking her first after a wave of enemies had been dispatched. And now, she was gone - as a result of saving Fluttershy, no less. This was all her fault, Fluttershy told herself. If she wasn't so weak, and so useless, Rainbow would still be alive. She looked at the object in front of her. It was Rainbow's lance, which she had procured from Celestia knew where. It had dropped beside her when... Fluttershy closed her eyes, attempting to drown out her increasingly frequent waves of guilt. How could she carry on now? It was just her, Acapella, and Ember. Ember was loyal, and more than capable in combat, but he wasn't much use for emotional support. And Acapella just seemed rather clueless, particularly now that Rainbow was gone. She wasn't much at planning. That had been Rainbow's responsibility. Whichever way Fluttershy looked at it, Rainbow had been the one keeping the group together. And now, because of her, Rainbow was gone. It made her afraid. It made her absolutely terrified. But most of all, quite unexpectedly, it made her angry.

The Chalk Imp took another step forward, and a twig snapped beneath its feet. Leaping upwards in surprise before getting control of herself, Fluttershy turned around, grabbing the lance from the ground and thrusting it forwards into the startled underling. A scream leapt through the air, and in a moment of embarrassment Fluttershy realised it had come from her. The Imp had raised a hand, with which it deflected the lance. Fluttershy's low level on her echeladder was readily apparent, but the rather pitiful nature of her attack did nothing but incense her further. Charging forwards, she made several further jabs with the lance, each of which were deflected, before the imp decided to attack. Leaping behind the pegasus, it smacked one of its many fists into Fluttershy's armour. It bounced off with a deafening rattling noise, sending Fluttershy careering into the ground. She picked herself up in confusion, unsure why that had happened. Usually attacks didn't have any effect on the armour. She remembered that she was still under attack just in time, and leapt up and over the imp before it could attack again. Flying upwards as far as she dared, Fluttershy paused and took a few deep breaths, lance in hoof.

"OK Rainbow..." she whispered, before suddenly diving downwards, directly at the rather perplexed underling. "This one's for you!" To her surprise, the attack connected much better than she had thought. The imp was not surprised, but this was mainly because it was dead. The sudden explosion of grist was, luckily for Fluttershy, substantial enough to cushion the impact with the ground, and so the pegasus found herself sitting amongst a pile of grist and boondollars with a silly grin on her face. "I... I did it!" Fluttershy shouted. "I did it!" Who was the useless one now, she asked herself. Who was the useless one now?

You have advanced twenty (20) rungs up your echeladder! You achieve the title of 'Dainty Quiverfidget' and receive 2172000 boondollars!

Gel Viscosity: +40000!

Cache Limit: +2005040!

Cutestitution: +11000!

... OK, maybe it was still her, she admitted.

***

"What the hell does he think he's playing at?" Mild demanded, angrily pacing around the deck of the warship in an altogether useless fashion. "This session has to reset. That's what happens!" Silver sighed, standing up and blocking his progress.

"Yes. It is," she said, with the air of someone who has said the same thing too many times. Which she had. "Therefore, it will. Now can you stop worrying about it? You're really starting to get on my nerves."

"OK, fine, it'll sort itself out," Mild said. "I just don't like the way he changes the plan without so much as asking. He goes off and does his own thing for no reason other than because he feels like it. I don't like that."

"Translation: you're terrified of him, and every time he doesn't respect you, you get reminded of the fact that he could kill you with a snap of his fingers," Silver said. "You don't have anything to worry about, Mild. Your death has to be either heroic, or just. If he killed you for no reason other than because he felt like it, that's not heroic or just."

"I... I didn't think of it like that," Mild said. "But what about you?"

"I am relying on my feminine charm," Silver said. "By which I mean, if I die, you're getting me to my quest bed or I'm going to haunt you forever." Mild thought about that. "Hopefully it won't come to that, though. We're a team, however unsure of that you may be. I trust that Golden will respect that."

"I don't know how you can trust Golden to do anything that makes reasonable sense," Mild said. "We both know that the only reason he went flying off was to talk to Silver Heart. He's clearly just as confused about who's side he's on as everyone else seems to be." Silver was silent. "You... you don't think he's going to leave us, do you?" Mild asked.

"Of course he's not," Silver said. "How can he? We already know-" Mild cut her off.

"Silver. He doesn't need us. He exists, and he knows the plan. From those two conditions, everything that we've experienced so far can happen. He could drop us here, go back and convince us to join him, so that he can screw us over at this point, and rejoin those guys." Mild was actually shaking. And frankly, Silver couldn't really blame him.

"I... that's..." Silver paused. "How did we not see this earlier?"

"I saw it as a possibility the moment we arrived in this session," Mild admitted. "But I thought that maybe things would end up happening quickly enough that there'd be no time for it. Maybe we'd just go ahead with the plan and it wouldn't occur to Golden that he could betray us, but... but then this kind of bullshit happens, and he goes off doing his own thing, and..." He sighed, while Silver's mind raced ahead.

"Wait a minute," she said. "... I think I just realised something important. Holy shit, Mild, I just realised what's going on. Fuck. FUCK." Mild appeared quite alarmed.

"What? What is it?" he asked, only for Silver to smack him in the face.

"Mild, I just realised, that everything we do... everything we've done, or know to be true..." Silver took a deep breath. "Makes absolutely no fucking sense." Mild blinked.

"Didn't we know that already?" Silver sighed exasperatedly.

"Just get this ship moving now. I'll explain on the way."

***

Diamond and Silver had barely come to rest on the surface of the Disco Ball of Destiny, when Discord appeared from the darkness of the void, a somewhat troubled smile on his face. This became less of a smile and even more troubled when he realised that he had twice the expected number of guests.

"Two of you?" He suddenly broke into a disconcerting grin. "Must be my lucky day." He resumed his serious expression. "No fighting, OK? I'm not here to fight you. I want to talk."

"Good," Silver said. "That's what I wanted to do." The Heir nodded.

"Silver, what I'm doing here is giving you a choice. A way out, if you will. You and your friends can stay here. You can stay here and be safe, and no harm will come to any of you. Or, you can pursue me into the next incipisphere like you were planning to, and in that case... I can't promise what I'll do to you." Discord looked away. "I can't promise anything if you follow me."

"That's not a choice," Silver said. "If this session isn't reset then the universe where Twilight and Comet, and Mild, come from... won't exist. Therefore you won't exist. And clearly, unfortunate thought it may be, that's not the case. So we both know what I do."

"Silver, my plan... what I'm trying to achieve... if I succeed, then little things like causality really won't matter anymore." Discord looked up at Skaia, drifting peacefully above them. "If it doesn't suit my needs for it to be a paradox, then it won't be a paradox. It's as simple as that."

"Your plan? You mean Mild's plan?" Diamond asked, determined not to be left out.

"No, it's... well, Mild explained it to me, but he only knows about it because in the future I'll visit him and explain the plan," he said. "That makes sense, right?" Diamond thought about it, then shook her head.

"... no, it doesn't. When are you going to tell Mild about this plan?"

"I'm going to leave for his incipisphere after we've escaped this session," Discord said. "It has to be in that order or the chronology won't match up, because of the time skip which happens when you transfer between sessions."

"That's what I thought," Diamond said. "Think about it. This plan of yours, it comes from nowhere. It's like if I were to travel back in time one hour and give myself the five bits I received from myself an hour ago. Where did those bits come from? Nowhere. Of course, with objects it doesn't quite work because the bits would be infinitely old, but with information..." She fell silent, while Discord thought about it.

"So... so what you're saying is..." he said slowly, putting the pieces together in his mind. "Our plan, our brilliantly thought out plan to bypass an ancient security measure and obtain a mythical treasure..."

"... is complete hearsay," Diamond finished. "With no evidence to substantiate it whatsoever." Discord looked at her as if she had proven that it is impossible to find a right-angled triangle with sides of a whole number length whose perimeter is equal to its area, when - as everypony knew - it was actually possible to find two such triangles.

"So, what now?" Discord asked. "There's no reason for me to assume the plan is true. What am I trying to do?"

"You could always come back to us," Silver offered. "We could all go back to Twilight's incipisphere, we could win the game, and then we could leave. What's wrong with that?"

"... really?" For a moment, Silver almost thought she saw Golden standing in front of her rather than Discord, with a stupid smile on one side of his face. "I... really?" He slapped himself. "... no." Silver's smile froze.

"What?"

"I said no," Discord repeated. "I can't trust myself to be around you guys."

"But... your plan doesn't mean anything now," Silver said. "Why do you have any reason to be against us?"

"I don't," Discord said. "That's the point. It's pointless, it's without meaning, it's just chaotic stupid violence. It's... it's what I do." He paused. "No, it's not what I do. It's not what Golden Shine does. But let's be honest here, no one really thinks of me as Golden Shine anymore."

"That's..." True, Silver's thoughts added, only for her to quickly silence them. "I want to, Golden. I want us to be friends, just like we always were. There's no reason why we can't be."

"Yes there is," Discord said. "I'm not just Golden any more, I'm... something else. Something darker, that I can't really control. That I don't really want to control. And I don't think it cares about you. Or Luna, or Star Swirl, or Celestia. It doesn't care about anyone, it just wants to hurt and destroy as much as it can." He shook his head. "And I really, really want to let it."

"No you don't," Silver pleaded. "Not really. Not you, not Golden."

"... tell me why I should stay with you, Mild," Discord said. Looking around in surprise, Silver suddenly noticed the approaching warship, containing an equally surprised Mild Darkness. "Tell me why I shouldn't just kill everyone. Is there anything, ANYTHING that you can say that will get me to go along with your stupid plan?" Mild took out his laptop, and threw it over to the Heir.

"No, there's nothing I can say," Mild said. "So try talking to him instead." Discord glanced at the screen, and smiled.

[FUTURE eclecticSage began responding to memo THISMAKESNOSENSE]

FES: Approaching now.

FES: We were right. We were right.

FES: I don't know how, and I don't know why.

FES: But hey, past me, who I know is reading this.... we were right, bro.

FES: We were completely, absolutely, 100% motherfucking right.

[FUTURE eclecticSage stopped responding to memo THISMAKESNOSENSE]

"... OK." Discord said, throwing the laptop back to Mild. "OK. Sure. Let's follow the plan." He turned back to Silver. "My offer stands, Silver. Stay here and live, or follow me... and then I can't promise what will happen."

"Really?" Silver asked. "Are you going to just walk away from me now? You're going to go ahead with this stupid plan anyway? Do I really mean NOTHING to you?!"

"Weren't you listening?" Discord asked. "It's not about what Golden wants, it's about what this other part of me wants. And what it wants is chaos, and destruction, and... and..." He threw his arms around as he searched for the word. "... discord. This isn't easy for me, Silver, but I have to." He hopped up onto the ship. "I'm doing this for your own good." He said, without turning to face her, before walking down into the ship, as it began to slowly drift away.

With that, Silver collapsed. A single tear rolled down her face, along with hundreds of other tears that behaved in much the same way. Diamond, who had been standing around awkwardly through much of the exchange, walked over to the broken Sylph and hugged her.

"..." Diamond said.

***

You have advanced one (1) rung up your echeladder! You achieve the title of 'Chucklebuster' and receive 130000 boondollars!

Gel Viscosity: +10800!

Cache Limit: +123059!

Cutestitution: +9500!

Pausing for breath, Fluttershy looked back to make sure that Acapella and Ember were both coping with their underlings. They certainly seemed to be, and Fluttershy was slowly becoming more confident about her own abilities. She hoped that somewhere, Rainbow was watching, and that she was proud of her.

Elsewhere, in the heart of the Veil on the outer edge of the incipisphere and inside a dream bubble, Rainbow Dash groaned dramatically, as Destiny slammed her hoof onto the table they were sitting around. Five white rectangles covered with black and red symbols looked up at Rainbow menacingly.

"Full house, bitch," the Maid said, grinning widely at the Rogue. Begrudgingly, Rainbow relinquished her last few bits.

"The afterlife sucks," she said bitterly.

***

She wasn't Silver Heart. This was something that Silver Edge knew, and accepted. She wasn't the one that Golden had been friends with all his life, and she wasn't the one who could talk him into changing sides, and she wasn't the one who was at God Tier. She knew this, but it still hurt. Briefly, she wondered if that was how Diamond felt. The three of them were pretty much the same, after all. Three different lives for the same pony. Three attempts to get it right. And it seemed like Silver Heart was the only one who had succeeded.

"Uh, Golden," Silver Edge said, as Discord entered the warship. He looked at her, with no real expression on his face. "Are you OK?" Discord sighed.

"No. Not really, Silver. I just hope that this plan really does work," he said, unconvinced even by his own testimony. "And I hope that we get there in time."

"Uh... yeah," Silver said. "Me too. Uh... in time for what, exactly?" Discord shrugged.

"In time for me to save myself."

***

"Can we get it working?" Diamond asked nervously, as Silver looked over the surface of the DBoD.

"I Hope so," Silver said, before pausing. Something about her joke clicked in her mind. "Oh... yeah, I think I can." She closed her eyes. "I Hope that everything I've done so far hasn't been in vain. I Hope that you and the others can find a way to stop Golden. I Hope that someday, somehow, everything will work out. And finally, I Hope that none of you will forget me." And with that, she did her Hopey thing. The Disco Ball of Destiny was illuminated in a bright white light that smelled suspiciously like hope, and the light show on Skaia was resumed in a very explosive and dramatic fashion. "Yeah, that did it." She looked over at Diamond. "Are you OK?"

"What was all that about?" Diamond asked. "You hope that none of us will forget you?"

"Yeah." She looked up at Skaia, which was growing in size now as the DBoD began drifting up towards it once again. "I have to stay in the incipisphere or it'll cancel the Hopey thing and it'll stop working again."

"What? What kind of stupid rule is that?" Diamond demanded. "And why is this the best way for some reason!?"

"It's probably not," Silver said. "But I don't care. It's the way I want it to happen." She glanced in the direction the warship had gone, although it had long since disappeared for the next incipisphere. "... I don't want to see Golden disappear completely."

"So you're running away?" Diamond asked. "You're going to die in a blaze of glory, and be the hero, but you're just running away from the truth?" This was inconceivable. Silver was many things. She was an inspiration, and she was a friend. Diamond couldn't accept this. "Why?"

"It's like you said, Diamond," Silver said. "I found what I wanted, and it just flew away forever. There's... there's no point in dragging out the inevitable. When I die I want it to be on my terms. But you," she said, smiling in a way that gave Diamond a sudden desire to punch something, "you haven't found it yet. I just Hope that when you do, you can hold onto it."

"Stop doing that!" Diamond shouted. "Stop 'Hoping' that good things will happen! Are you even doing anything with your Hope powers to make it happen, or are you just saying it so that when it does happen you can take credit for it?" Silver shrugged noncommittally. "You can't just sacrifice yourself like this, you're a hero! You're the best hero in this whole gog damn session! You're..." Diamond paused. "You're all the things that I'm not."

"And whose fault is that?" Silver asked. "Diamond, I think I've realised something. You are my post-Scratch self. You're who I become in your universe. You're who I grow up to be, with a different environment. You can do everything I can if you just put your mind to it."

"But... then, who's Silver Edge?" Diamond asked. "She's got the same powers as you, hasn't she?" Silver nodded.

"Yeah. She's..." she shrugged. "Maybe you'll be able to find out." She looked up at Skaia. "There's not much time left. Leave now, and tell everyone what happened. Oh, and... uh."

"What is it?" Diamond asked. Silver looked at her hooves sheepishly.

"Please don't blame Golden for this." Diamond nodded.

"... are you sure about this?" She asked for one, final time. "Are you going to be OK?"

"Yeah," Silver said, smiling happily despite herself. "I Hope so." Diamond nodded again, then turned and began the flight back to LOPAD. Silver sighed heavily, sitting herself down on the Disco Ball of Destiny, as the light of Skaia drew ever closer.

It was funny how things turned out.

Chapter 34

View Online

"...who are you?" The Queen asked, not taking her eyes off of the simple band and the devastating power it contained. Her own ring had the potential to exceed it, of course, but it was currently inert - none of the heroes from this session had entered yet.

"My name is Mild Darkness," the Thief informed her. "And I have someone I would like you to meet." The ground beneath them shook, and the doors to the throne room were flung open as a Black King strode through menacingly. Not her King, the Queen noted. This strangers was from a different session entirely, and he had come prepared. "So, I trust that no further demonstration of my power is necessary?" The Queen shook her head. "Good. Now then, let me tell you all about my plan..."

***31 CHAPTERS LATER***

"What are you looking so happy about?" Silver asked, as Mild strode into the throne room with a grim smile on his face. He gave her a strange look.

"The Reckoning just started. Kingikaze's in place and the other one is waiting on the boat. We can leave whenever," he nodded to the Black Queen. "Keep an eye on her, we don't want a repeat of last time."

"You do know that Golden's ran off to kill everyone on LOTAF, don't you?" Silver reminded him. "And that he won't want to leave without messing up the rest of their shit as much as he can once they catch up to us." Mild sighed deeply.

"Oh, so now who's being a stereotypical villain?" A few moments passed while Mild sulked. "... he's getting worse, isn't he?" Silver shook her head.

"Not now, Mild."

"Not now? When, then? When are you going to want to talk about this?" Noticing the Black Queen's expression, Mild paused and walked out of the palace. After a few minutes, Silver joined him. "You can't keep denying the truth, Silver."

"The truth, you say?" Silver gave a hollow laugh. "What does that even mean any more?"

"It used to be that our biggest concern was being valuable to him. Making sure that it made more sense to keep us alive than to kill us." Mild closed his eyes. It was only when discussing their mutual fear of Discord that he and Silver were ever able to talk to each other properly. "Now, I don't even think that can save us."

"We have to stay positive," Silver said. "Golden is still in there, however slightly. We have to trust him." Mild gave her a weak smile. They were so dead.

"Let's Hope so, right?"

***

"I think... I think it's done," Fluttershy said at last, the others giving sighs of relief as the Seer gently picked up the softly glowing tadpole and captchalogued it for safe keeping. The last few hours had passed in a remarkably unremarkable fashion. At first, Acapella had found it suspicious. Now, she was simply bored out of her mind.

"Well done," Acapella said warmly, slowly rising from the floor where she had been resting. "So now we're one step closer to winning the game." Suddenly, a large meteor smashed into the hills just beyond the ectolab, causing huge tracts of land to burst into flames. "What the hell?" Ember, also rising from where he had been sleeping, glanced at the carnage through half-closed eyes with relative interest.

"Looks like we're one step closer to losing the game," he said sleepily. "Reckoning must've started..."

"So why are meteors hitting us?" Acapella asked, soaring into the air as she weaved between smaller rocks that hurtled towards her. Ember and Fluttershy soon joined her.

"Maybe this Reckoning's worse for some reason," Ember suggested. Acapella gave him a strange look.

"But this is better for us in the long run. The point of the Reckoning is to destroy Skaia. If the Reckoning was more severe, then the meteors would be stronger and faster, but they'd at least be aimed at the right place," Acapella pointed out. "This doesn't really make any sense."

"Seriously, you should watch what you're saying," said a passing meteor, which promptly exploded to reveal a madly grinning Discord. "It's like you're begging me to suddenly appear."

"Discord!" Fluttershy cried, instantly darting behind a rather bemused Acapella. The Heir cackled.

"Oh, don't act so surprised. It's not like any of your other enemies could pull something like this off, is it?" Discord said, knocking all three ponies back to the ground with an explosion of magic. He then came to rest on the surface of LOTAF, and in an instant the ground for miles around had developed an all-too familiar chessboard pattern. More meteors continued to veer away from their usual path and smash into the planet. "This should be fun."

"I sure hope so," Ember said eagerly, leaping into the path of an approaching meteor and knocking it toward Discord with a swing from his hammer - only for it to explode in mid-air. Discord smiled before rushing forwards, new meteors hovering above his outstretched claw.

"You didn't really think that would work, did you?" Discord taunted, before flinging a barrage of meteors towards Ember. "That's just a little bit pathetic." Someone tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned, to find Fluttershy attempting to stab him with her lance. She froze, allowing Discord to burst into laughter. "Oh, oh my, that is simply the most adorable assassination attempt I've ever seen." Grabbing Fluttershy's lance out of her hooves and throwing it behind him without a second thought, Discord withdrew his umbrella and gave it a few practice swings. The air it passed through screamed. He paused, contemplating the petrified Seer in front of him. Then he shrugged, and stabbed forward with the umbrella. To his surprise, a cane shot out of nowhere to parry it, and after blinking stupidly for a few seconds he realised that it belonged to Fluttershy, who was now unable to hide her smug expression. Discord's grin widened. "Heh... a little fight in you. I-"

"Nope," Acapella said, impaling Discord's shoulder with the lance that he had thrown away. "Stop right there. We're not doing that reference." Taking advantage of the opening, Fluttershy also sprung into action, hitting Discord's umbrella at the base and knocking it out of his grasp. Before she understood what was happening, Fluttershy found herself flying backwards into the ground, glancing upwards in time to see Acapella knocked away in a similar fashion.

"Ohoh, so you're finally trying to be smart?" Discord asked light heartedly, although his eyes were filled with rage. "It's a little late to try and outsmart me, don't you think?" In response, an enraged Prince materialised in front of him and almost crushed his head with a dreadfully powerful hammer.

"I've yet to meet someone who can outsmart my hammer," Ember said, as Discord retrieved his umbrella before turning to face his adversary.

"I thought we weren't doing references anymore?" Discord asked, but no answer came except for a large hammer flying through space towards him. "Oh well." As the Prince chased the Heir, Fluttershy and Acapella switched back their kind abstrata and weaponry.

"I have a bad feeling about this, Fluttershy," Acapella said uncertainly, as they watched Ember dodging around the meteors which continued to fall all around them. "There's no way that we can win this."

"Maybe not," Fluttershy said sadly. "But I don't see any other options, do you?"

It was then that they noticed the Land of Cakes and Laughter in the sky, inexplicably drawing closer with every passing second.

***

"So, shall we head off now?" Luna asked, Celestia's current condition inspiring a hint of urgency in her tone. "Unless anyone else was planning any more heroic gestures or dramatic farewells?"

"No, I think we've lost all the suicidal ones now," Comet said hurriedly, before anyone could offer to get themselves killed. "I suggest we make like Discord's morality, and split."

"Diamond? Are we done here?" Luna asked, trying and failing to look Diamond in the eyes. The unicorn had been silent since returning, apart from a few vague mumbles in response to their questions.

"Sure," Diamond said. Luna shook her head.

"OK, whatever, let's get out of here."

And so they did.

***

"Ah, so you've noticed," Discord said casually, the fast approaching planet now unavoidably urgent. "It was agreed that I have a tendency to play around too much, so I decided to put a time limit on my fun."

"So you threw a planet at us!?" Acapella shouted, attempting to keep as serious an expression as she could manage. Discord burst into laughter.

"Yes, exactly! Isn't that just... brilliant?" Acapella's mind raced. The MAP of this session was back in the ectolab. If she could just get back there...

"Fluttershy, deal with Discord for a moment," Acapella instructed. Fluttershy nodded, and took off into the air, lance in hoof. Acapella began running towards the building, while Fluttershy and Ember both attacked Discord at once.

"Now now everyone, let's not get ahead of ourselves," Discord said, ducking around Ember and blocking Fluttershy with his umbrella. "You have a long way to go before you can distract me that easily." In an instant, the ground beneath Acapella took on the same chessboard pattern as the area where Discord and the others were fighting. In another instant, the ground twisted and warped, gripping around Acapella's legs and trapping her in place. "Where were you even going?" Discord wondered aloud, before Ember finally managed to connect with his hammer, as it crashed into the Heir and sent him plummeting to the ground. Making the most of the opening, Fluttershy dove towards Discord, while Acapella found herself freed from the ground and resumed her journey towards the ectolab.

And then Discord recovered. Acapella, Fluttershy and Ember all found themselves frozen, before being dragged through the air until they were circling a furious Heir. Even Discord had stopped smiling now, as he flew towards the ectolab while keeping the three ponies hovering helplessly around him. Reaching the gap in the side of the building, he stepped inside. Instantly, every frog in the building died - except for the frog stored safely inside Fluttershy's sylladex. With a hint of grim satisfaction, Discord picked up the MAP that Acapella had left in plain sight and nodded back at the floating ponies.

"Well, I hate to cut and run, but I've really got to be somewhere." He glanced up at the approaching shape of LOCAL. "Do try to save me some cake, won't you?" And with that, he disappeared to somewhere in the incipisphere, allowing the three ponies to move freely once more.

"What do we do now?" Fluttershy asked, her voice shaking. "Can we just try to fly to safety?"

"We could," Ember said. "I think we've got just enough time to-" He was rudely interrupted by a meteor smashing into the building, sending the entire structure crumbling into a heap of rubble and twisted metal in a matter of seconds. All three ponies were tossed around the room, and as the ceiling caved in huge slabs of concrete crashed into them. For a few minutes, everything was dark.

Fluttershy woke up relatively quickly, although she spent several minutes opening and closing her eyes to convince herself that she could still see. A vanishingly small amount of light was reaching her from her current position beneath several large pieces of building. If only she could reach it, then she could- Ember tossed aside a large chunk of concrete, and Fluttershy screamed as the full light of day seared into her wide eyes. The sound of a pony being slapped in the face reached her ears.

When her vision returned, a rather sheepish Ember and a relieved Acapella were helping her to her feet amid a field of rubble. There was still a planet in the sky that needed to be taken care of, Fluttershy noticed.

"So... what do we do now?" Fluttershy asked. There wasn't any point in trying to run at this stage. Ember shrugged.

"I suppose I'll go take care of it. You'll be fine," he said, before soaring upwards, leaving behind a rather bemused Acapella.

"Uh... so, what's he doing?" Fluttershy asked.

"I have no idea," Acapella replied. "But knowing Ember it's probably something really... stupid... oh dear."

In the skies above LOTAF, Ember and the Land of Cake and Laughter drew ever closer. As he flew, he tested the weight of his hammer. He could probably do this. He was practically on the planet now, and it was beginning to dawn on him just how big it was. The ground approached from above, and Ember spun around in mid air to meet it, his hammer swinging through the air to meet the soft, cakey surface. As the sponge compacted beneath the colossal force, the surface of the planet shook, but did not slow down. Casting around for inspiration, Ember once again threw himself into the void between the two planets. Several passing meteors were smashed into LOCAL, slowing it further but not stopping it completely. He needed to do something more if he was going to stop the collision. He retrieved his final grenade from his bombkind abstrata. Alchemised from a few million diamond, uranium, and a good helping of regular build grist, he had only created one of these grenades. This seemed as good a test run as any.

Hammer first, he dove into the surface of LOCAL, rapidly tunnelling through to the centre of the planet. Emerging into the chamber of Nyx where Pinkie had yet to venture, Ember looked around briefly before pulling the pin out of the grenade and tossed it away into the corner of the room. He didn't bother running. If the grenade was powerful enough to get the job done then there would be no time to get out of range. Behind him, the shadowy denizen drew closer from its hiding place.

"Oh? A Prince of Space? Not who I was expecting..." Nyx shook her head. "If I'd known you were coming then I would have baked a-"

The surface of LOCAL cracked, large sections being carved out by a tiny, hairline fracture. And then, quite suddenly, these sections were forced apart, as the entire planet exploded outwards. Huge tracts of sponge dissolved into nothing, and the thick layer of icing around the centre of the planet melted into a delicious river of sugar that trailed outwards from the core as LOCAL quickly dispersed outwards in all directions.

Below the devastation, on LOTAF, Fluttershy and Acapella stood and watched in awe as icing sugar and small puffy sections of sponge rained down upon them.

"Wow," Acapella eventually said. "That was... wait... is that Ember?" Lying on the face of a large slice of cake, impossibly, was Ember - although it was impossible to tell if he was still alive. "Oh no." All too quickly, Ember and his piece of cake began to fall ever faster towards LOTAF. Fluttershy and Acapella were in the air immediately, rushing towards him even though they knew it was too late.

***

As the group appeared on Skaia, Comet and Twilight were only slightly surprised to find the Battlefield under heavy meteor fire. They hadn't been expecting it, but Sod's Law seemed to have been the guiding principle behind Sburb's design, so it was almost inevitable.

"Right, that's the first question answered," Comet said cheerily. "Yes, we are completely screwed. Next on the agenda would be: is anyone still alive?" Twilight gave him a look, before nodding her head in the direction of Luna and Star Swirl. Comet's forced smile dropped instantly when he realised what had happened. Celestia was dead. "... OK. Let's get to LOTAF and use the quest bed quickly, before Mild and Discord have a chance to regroup. They can't have been in this session for more than a few hours longer than us."

"Oh, well, about that..." Mild said, approaching from whatever inexplicable direction he always approached from without being noticed. "I have some bad news."

***

"Are you sure about this?" Acapella asked Fluttershy, who was marching forwards with a determined expression. The pegasus nodded.

"He saved us. It's the least I can do." Acapella nodded, before returning her attention to the dead Prince that she was attempting to levitate through the dense forest. In front of the two ponies, a young bear was leading the way to the quest bed of Space. Fluttershy's bear consorts had not been happy about using her quest bed to revive a different hero of Space, and were particularly unhappy that the hero of Space in question had tried to kill their frogs not too long ago. They couldn't outright refuse a request from the Seer, but they had made their objections quite clear.

"I suppose it makes sense to revive him. He's the most effective in combat out of our group," Acapella reasoned. "And you're the least likely to need a resurrection in the near future, because you still have your dreamself."

"I'm doing this because we owe him," Fluttershy repeated. "He was just protecting us."

"Personally I think it's more likely that he just wanted an excuse to blow up an entire planet," Acapella said. "I mean, holy shit, how many consorts did he just kill? Not to mention destroying an entire system of gates. I don't even know what happens when you destroy a gate. I didn't know that gates could be destroyed."

"If you're quite finished," Fluttershy interjected, "We're here." The trees parted to reveal the huge tower that supported the quest bed. At this point, Fluttershy thanked the young bear and both she and Acapella flew up the side of the structure. Reaching the top, they paused for a moment while Fluttershy inspected the bed. "I hope this will work," she said. "There's no reason why it wouldn't, of course, the beds are only aspect-specific. OK, put him on." Acapella obliged, lowering Ember onto the bed. The Witch and the Seer paused. "Did, uh, did you want to say anything? I mean, he is supposed to be your friend, right?" Acapella shrugged.

"Yeah, but I didn't really know him. I'll say something if you want, uh..." she paused, looking down at the earth pony on the quest bed. It was true that she had never really gotten to know Ember, but it was difficult to look at a dead friend without feeling some form of regret. The process of ascension had already begun, and the quest bed was beginning to glow with a bright white light. In the air around them, thousands of tiny sparrows had begun to flock around the tower, responding to the call of a rising hero. The whole affair was almost becoming rather emotional. "Now cracks a weary heart. Good night, sweet Prince; and flights of sparrows sing thee to thy temporary rest immediately followed by a rather chaotic and explosive resurrection," Acapella managed, as Ember disappeared in a flash of light. Fluttershy gave her an odd look. "OK, I'll admit, that last line got away from me a little."

***

"OK, so there's been a bit of a time delay, fine," Comet said, a little annoyed at the revelation that travelling between universes resulted in significant and unpredictable time delays. "Does this actually change anything?"

"Not really," Mild shrugged. "Me, Golden, and Silver, we've all been waiting around in this session since before Twilight first arrived. We just saw you leave a while ago, in fact."

"So..." Diamond said, astounded by how long that explanation had taken. "Can we get back to kicking your ass now?"

"Careful there, Diamond," Mild said, unable to keep the smugness out of his voice. "You're dangerously close to becoming noticeable." An axe narrowly missed his face, and he blinked. Diamond flew forwards to meet him, the axe she had borrowed indefinitely from Silver Heart in her hooves. "Hey, let's all calm down now, shall we?" Reaching into her mind and forcing her away, Mild retrieved a few dozen knives from his kind abstrata. "And while we're at it, let's do a head count. There's me, in possession of a considerable amount of strength, magic, knives, and mind control. Then there's the five of you, only one of whom pose any real threat. And frankly, Luna, I don't care if you can block my Mindy thing. I can kill you without resorting to that."

"Hey Comet," Star Swirl said uncertainly. Comet nodded absently, but seemed to be distracted by something in the distance. "Mild seems a bit more in control than usual. Since when did he level up?"

"Yeah, I'm not sure what's happened," Comet said, a slow smile beginning to form on his face. "But whatever he's done, it's too little, and far, far too late."

"What are you talking about?" Mild asked, instinctively leaping to the side as he did so. This proved to be a wise move, as several seconds later an enormous column of solid rock burst out from the surface of the Battlefield, skewering the air where Mild had previously been hovering. A few seconds and one hammer swing later, the huge spire of rock exploded into a thousand pieces, all of which were aimed directly at Mild. "Holy jegus FUCK!" Mild yelled, as he suddenly found himself surrounded on all sides by the surface of the Battlefield. Whichever way he turned, a sheet of rock was blocking his progress, and yet the light of Skaia still shone all around him. After a moment's thought he realised that he was being trapped in some kind of Spacey box, and quickly used the MAP Discord had stolen to escape.

Appearing high above the others, Mild instantly realised what was going on. A painfully smug winged and horned earth pony hovered opposite him, as a fully realised Prince of Space. Discord always made Mild feel anxious, maybe even afraid. But now, looking upon Ember, Mild was shaking. His face grew pale, and it took all of his self control to not turn around and run the fuck away.

"Hey, Mild," Ember said. Fuck, Mild thought to himself. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. "Knock knock." Oh fuck no. Fuck fuck FUCK.

"Uh... who's there?" This is so fucking terrible in every way. FUUUUCK.

"Interrupting MC Hammer," Ember said gleefully. Oh fuck is he trying to hide his hammer behind his back how the fuck can he think I'm that stupid. Fuck I AM that stupid why am I even doing this oh fuuuuuuck.

"Interrupting MC Ha-"

"Stop." Ember said quietly, causing Mild to freeze instantly. The Thief could only watch as Ember grinned in a way that made Mild seriously question his life choices. Oh holy SHIT. "Hammer time." If Ember said anything after that, it was difficult to hear over the wind that roared in Mild's ears as he was sent flying backwards by a single devastating blow.

As Mild soared into the distance, Ember dropped back down to meet the assembled ponies.

"Hey guys," the Prince said calmly. "Did you have a good trip?" It was several minutes before anyone spoke.

"Ember," Comet eventually said. "I honestly never thought I'd say this to you, but... I'm proud of you." He grimaced, as though the sentence caused him pain. "That was actually pretty awesome. But... I don't know how to say this..."

"How did you reach God Tier?" Luna demanded, having suddenly realised what Comet was trying to ask. Ember shrugged.

"Well, I was killed while I was protecting the others, so I guess they must have taken my body to Fluttershy's quest bed. I'm pretty sure that's the only way a Space player could ascend in this session, why?" Luna closed her eyes.

"... I... I don't even have any words for this." Luna glared angrily at Comet. "Did you see this coming?"

"I... I knew it was a possibility," Comet admitted. "There were two Space players left in this session, so if either one of them needed to ascend then they would use Fluttershy's quest bed. But Fluttershy had two lives and Ember was the toughest of the ones we left behind, so I didn't think it would be an issue." He paused. "Come to think of it, Ember, you were the last one I expected to die. I would have said that, at the very least, we would lose Rainbow and Rarity before you."

"Uh, yeah, heh..." Ember said awkwardly. "There's probably something you should all know." There was a pause, in which all of the group glared daggers at Ember. "It's just been me, Fluttershy, and Acapella, trying to hold off underlings and meteors and the full strength of the Asshole Squad. The others are all completely dead."

"WHAT!?" Twilight cried out in shock, along with a similar reaction from Comet and Diamond. "... how the hell did that happen!?"

"Mild," Ember replied simply. "And Silver, she finished off Rainbow a little later."

"Destiny's dead..." Diamond said. She had not been expecting to hear that. "Oh... fuck."

"Damn it Ember," Comet said. "We leave you all to fend for yourselves for just a little while and then ALL OF YOU DIE."

"It doesn't look like you've done much better," Ember pointed out. "Where's Summer?" A book smacked him in the face.

"Shut the fuck up right now," Comet seethed. "I don't want to hear another fucking word out of you."

"But before that," Twilight added in a softer tone. "How did you die, Ember?"

"Oh, it was awesome," Ember said, glad that someone had finally asked him. "Discord was attacking us - and by attacking us, I mean he threw a planet at us. An entire planet. So I flew up to the planet, made my way into the centre, and blew up the whole damn world."

"... which planet?" Twilight asked nervously. Ember shrugged.

"The Land of Cake and Laughter. Which was a good thing, too - it fell apart pretty easily since it's basically just made of cake."

"... you can go back to shutting up now, thanks," Twilight said quietly. Before leaving, she had left Spike asleep in the rubble of Sugarcube Corner, on LOCAL. She hadn't even thought about him in so long, she had taken his safety for granted. Of course, a long time had passed, and it was possible that he had escaped, there was no need to panic, after all. At least, she hoped so.

***

"What are you looking so unhappy about?" Silver asked, as Mild stumbled into the throne room with a strained smile on his face. He gave her a strange look.

"Ember... reached God Tier," he breathed, before collapsing from exhaustion. He wasn't bleeding, but he was going to be feeling the pain for a long time. "Can we hurry things up and get out of this session now? I'm not sure how much more of our complete bullshit luck I can take."

"Quit your bitching," Discord said, from his position on the Black Queen's throne. Where the actual Black Queen had gone, Mild had no idea. "It's nothing we can't handle."

"You," Mild said, picking himself up slowly and painfully. "You did this. You killed Ember, and then left them alone long enough for them to revive him. You planned it all out, didn't you?" Discord smiled, before clapping his paw and claw together. Instantly, the assembled ponies were all wearing ridiculous hats.

"Plan, Mild? Do I really look like a guy with a plan?" He shook his head cheerfully. "You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing carriages. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just do things, I don't need to think about it."

"That's what you'd like us all to believe," Mild said. "But, really? Really, I think you know exactly what you're doing, down to every detail."

"Mild, I hate to remind you, but not too long ago I suddenly realised that I'd been following a plan, your plan, even though my 'guarantee' was just as flimsy and undependable as you are." Discord stood up from his throne and walked towards Mild. "But let's say that I planned to allow Ember to ascend, because it's perfectly possible that I did. What would it matter?"

"Because I don't understand why you would do that," Mild said. "That's not just nonsensical, it's actually making our job harder."

"Speak for yourself," Discord said dismissively. "I don't have a problem with it. I think it's great, in fact. It'll be more fun. Think of it as a test, Mild. You know what's coming. If you can't handle a powerful idiot like Ember, how are you going to survive the final hurdle?"

"Fine," Mild said irritably. "Fine. If you want to go around making powerful enemies, then go ahead. Just make sure you don't bit off more than you can chew, OK?" Discord grinned unnervingly.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Chapter 35

View Online

A/N: So I suddenly realised that I can't count, or remember the names of planets. Earlier chapters may contain errors, and I'm going to have to go back and change them. This is why planning is so important.

[CURRENT fractalAbomination began responding to memo FUUUUUUUU]

CFA: ok everypony, action stations

CFA: for about the fiftieth time

CFA: from now on, let's just stay at our action stations permanently

CFA: it'll save time when we inevitably need to use them again

[CURRENT midnightEclipse began responding to memo FUUUUUUUU]

CME: First point of business:

CME: Are there any suggestions for what to do about my sister?

[CURRENT crespucularMagicant began responding to memo FUUUUUUUU]

CCM: There's nothing we can do in this session, I'm afraid. The quest beds are one-use only.

CME: Then what do we do?

CFA: ember's got a quest bed in our session that he won't be using

CFA: we can take your sister there

CFA: but there's a bit of unfinished business here, first

CFA: any luck yet, twilight?

CCM: No sign of him...

CFA: well, keep at it

CFA: fluttershy's made her frog now, so that's brilliant

CFA: but a frog without a pond is like ember without a brain

CFA: i mean, a frog without a pond is like ember

[CURRENT reticentButterly began responding to memo FUUUUUUUU]

CRB: So, uh, what should we do?

CRB: He's growing pretty quickly.

CFA: right, yeah, first of all we need to sort out the reckoning

CFA: that's really our main priority here

CCM: Haven't you already failed that twice before?

CFA: first of all, i did it the first time

CCM: Then where's your frog?

CFA: fine, whatever

CFA: second of all, maybe i've gotten better with practice

CCM: This Reckoning is against a King far more powerful than the ones you've fought before.

CFA: ... third time lucky?

CCM: Yeah, maybe Mild will finally kill you this time.

CFA: can you tone down the optimism?

CFA: seriously, you're too cheery, it's making my head hurt

CCM: ...

CFA: thank you

CFA: ok then, twilight, you carry on looking for spike or whatever it is you're doing

CFA: fluttershy can go with you

CFA: i appreciate that she's recently started fighting, but she'll do more good with you against minor enemies than against a king

CRB: OK.

CFA: the rest of us are going to skaia, so give ember a shout when you're ready and he'll teleport you over

CCM: He can do that?

CFA: short range within his current incipisphere, yeah. it's sort of a hero of space staple, just like how all the heroes of time can travel at least a day in either direction

CCM: Well, alright then.

CFA: ttyl

[CURRENT fractalAbomination stopped responding to memo FUUUUUUUU]

***

"Spike? SPIKE!?" For the past hour, the empty hills of LONAG had echoed with Twilight's desperate cries. The iguanas kept to their cities, while the Mage scoured every inch of the planet. If Spike had left LOPAL, then he had probably returned to Twilight's planet. And of course he had left LOPAL. He had to have left LOPAL. Twilight wasn't sure why it was getting harder to believe that.

"Twilight," Fluttershy said softly, chasing after her friend with a worried expression. "I'm sorry, but... I don't think Spike's here."

"But... he has to be here," Twilight said blankly. "He can't be dead, Fluttershy. He can't be."

"I know," Fluttershy agreed, "But that doesn't mean he's here. He could be anywhere in the incipisphere." It was, of course, perfectly possible that Spike had been killed in the explosion, but Fluttershy decided against mentioning that particular scenario.

"Yeah... yeah, you're right..." Twilight shook her head and sat down on the hill beneath them. "I just... it's my fault he's here. It's my fault all of you were here. And now... you and Spike are the only ones I have left. And at the end of the day, that's no one's fault but mine." Quite unexpectedly, Twilight suddenly found herself being hugged.

"Shut up," Fluttershy said. "None of this is your fault. You... you did everything you could to get us through this game. We all joined because we wanted to. We wanted to make a difference, we wanted to save Equestria..."

"And did we?" Twilight asked bitterly. "What were we even saving Equestria from? We're the reason for the meteors. They're falling, right now, onto our home, and we can't do anything about it."

"But... Comet comes from our Equestria in the future, right?" Fluttershy asked hopefully. "Doesn't that mean we saved it?"

"All it means is that Equestria took a long time to be destroyed," Twilight said. "If ponies in the future play the game then there'll just be even more meteors. We haven't stopped anything." The two ponies sat in silence for a few minutes, while Fluttershy retrieved the Genesis Tadpole. Legs were beginning to form, and soon she wouldn't be able to fit it inside her sylladex.

"I think you're wrong, Twilight," Fluttershy said quietly as she studied the celestial amphibian. "I don't think that all of this has been for nothing." Twilight stared at the tadpole, which lazily glanced in her direction with a large unblinking eye.

"Frogs..." Twilight mumbled, before bursting into cheers of excitement. "Haha! Frogs!" Grabbing a terrified Fluttershy by the hoof, Twilight activated the Paradox Gate, laughing as the two ponies transportalised away.

***

"I'd hate to say 'I told you so'..." Comet said, as the group looked up in shock at the Black King in front of them. "Because that would be a lie, because I did not see this coming."

"Wait, what's going on?" Ember asked, as he had absolutely no idea what was going on.

"Ember," Comet said slowly, while the others cautiously spread out around the King. "Have you been keeping track of all the prototypings that have been flying around? There should be 23. This should be a King with prototypings 23-fold. Does this look like it has 23 prototypings?"

"How should I know?" Ember asked. "I guess it doesn't, though, since you're all so surprised."

"Correct," Luna said. "This isn't the King it should be. More to the point... this is the King from my session. Look, he's even got a damaged leg from where the Queen hit him with a meteor."

"So the question is, what does that mean?" Comet wondered. "I mean, I don't know how many prototypings this guy has, but it's got to be a lot less than 23, so... why leave us against a less powerful enemy?"

"Perhaps they need the King we should be fighting for something else," Star Swirl suggested. "In which case, this would be..."

"A distraction," Diamond finished. "... fuck, we walked right into that one, didn't we?"

"But what's the point?" Luna asked. "Distract us from... what? All this does it make it easier for us to win the game." Comet was silent.

"Maybe they don't care about us winning the game," Diamond suggested. "Maybe their plan is unrelated to the game. They let us win the game, and we don't interfere with their plan because we think we've won."

"Then why does it matter what their plan is?" Acapella asked. "Let's just win the game and leave them to it."

"Yeah, please say I'm not the only one who has a problem with that," Comet said. "I don't feel comfortable leaving them behind with the frog. That would just be an embarrassing way for us to die. Besides, I don't think the game is entirely irrelevant to their plan. Granted, it probably doesn't make a difference to them whether we grow the frog or not, but..."

"What would you have us do, then?" Luna asked. "Should we just throw the frog away and chase after them instead? So far, your best plan has been to just play along with the game for a bit."

"Guys?" Diamond interrupted rather hurriedly, "I hate to put an end to this wonderful discussion, thrilling though it is, but we are kind of in the middle of something here." A large foot almost crushed the group, who barely managed to leap out of the way in time. "Just because he's not as tough as we were expecting doesn't mean he's going down easily, OK?"

"Yes, thank you Diamond, I think we get that," Acapella said, readying her cane. "So, you guys have fought this one before, any weak spots I should know about?"

"The carapace around the neck is particularly thin," Star Swirl explained. "And after most of his attacks he needs a few seconds to recharge, so when he pauses we need to focus our attacks on his weak point."

"Thank you, Mr. GameFAQs," Comet said, as the King began charging towards the hill that they were gathered around. "While you're at it, why don't you tell us the drop rate for the Hallowed Dersite Bracers? I need some new Page gear, I don't have enough Stamina at the moment."

"Are you sure you don't mean Intellect?" Star Swirl retorted. "Fine then, do you have a better plan?"

"I sure do," Comet said triumphantly. "Ember, use Spacial Rend."

***

On LOPAL, Fluttershy sighed. It had taken what felt like hours for Twilight to calm down, but now Spike was finally able to breathe. Slowly worming his way out of her hooves, he eventually managed to speak.

"So, uh, what did I miss?" Spike asked, a little unnerved by how happy Twilight was to see that he wasn't dead.

"Oh, it's been awful," Fluttershy said. "Ember died, and this planet exploded, and we thought that you might have been killed!" Spike glanced between Fluttershy and the ground beneath them, and blinked.

"Uh... this planet? You mean, the one we're standing on?" Fluttershy nodded. "It doesn't look very exploded to me. It looks pretty intact, actually." He paused. "Unless this planet can explode twice, somehow."

"Oh, no, it hasn't happened yet," Twilight said happily. "It's going to happen soon, and you'll disappear. But now we know why! It's just like the frogs on LOTAF. We came back in time to before the planet blew up, and now we'll take you back to the future with us."

"I... see... I think," Spike said slowly, rubbing his head in the way he did when things didn't quite add up. "So, maybe we should get going?"

"What? But you just got here!" Discord said, causing the others to jump up in surprise. "Honestly, you should have told me you were visiting. I'd have baked a cake..." He glanced down at the soft, spongy ground below him. "Then again, that would be a bit redundant, don't you think?" He laughed dramatically, before stopping and instantly adopting a serious expression. "But enough talk." Waving a claw and immediately dispelling Twilight's counterattack, he stepped forwards and repeatedly stabbed the unicorn with his umbrella, before taking a few steps backwards to dodge the lance which came flying towards him. Leaping over the attacking pegasus, he grabbed the lance off of her and stabbed her with it. Taking a few moments to look over the two dead ponies, he glanced behind him at a terrified Spike. Then he shrugged, and picked up the Paradox Gate from Twilight's body. "Not worth it," he said dismissively, and transportalised away.

Spike looked around him. Two of his best friends were dead, and he was otherwise alone on a planet made of cake that would soon be destroyed by an idiot. An idiot trying to protect one of the two ponies that were currently lying dead in front of him. This wasn't good.

***

FRAYMOTIF
[SPACE]
NUCLEAR FUSION

The entire Battlefield was illuminated in the glorious nuclear fireball, as - in a sudden burst of inspiration - Ember re-enacted perhaps the most cataclysmically badass attack known to humanity, literally becoming a star. Manipulating space around himself to form an incredibly dense ball of matter, finally it was clear to everyone that Ember was the densest object in paradox space.

The King was somewhat unhappy about this, as his cumbersome form meant that he was helpless against the onslaught of searing plasma that was ejected from the star in all directions. Worse, as the influence of Ember's gravity field strengthened, so did the severity of its effects, and the King found himself drawn through the air towards the miracle of modern science/Spacey thing.

Eventually, however, the attack reached the limit of Ember's power, and the star went supernova, exploding outwards in a chaotic blast of pure annihilation. Fortunately for Comet and the others, they had taken refuge on the other side of the Battlefield, and so were mostly unharmed. The King, however, was crippled, barely holding onto his last few breaths as Ember landed and the others transportalised beside him.

"Ember," Comet said slowly. "What cheat code are you using and where can I get one? There is no way that attack is balanced." Ember shrugged, as a message popped up beside him.

You have descended five (5) God Tiers! You are demoted to the title of "I'm offensive and I find this Reiuji" and lose 125000000 boondollars!

Gel Viscosity: -134000000!

Cache Limit: -2230102!

Mangrit: -331230000!

"Oh, now it makes sense," Comet said. "That's... that's actually a pretty severe consequence." Ember shrugged again.

"It's not like it took a long time to get those 5 Tiers," he said. "But losing the cache limit is kind of annoying."

"It is?" Comet laughed. "When do we even use grist anymore? When was the last time any of us alchemised something?"

"Guys, he's not dead yet," Diamond pointed out. The King coughed dramatically, before collapsing onto his knees. "... but he may as well be. Carry on, I'll go take care of it." Equipping her axe, she approached the dying monarch, who glared at her in confusion and anger.

"... you're not Edge." Diamond froze, surprised to hear him talk. She hadn't realised that the Kings could talk.

"No, I'm not," she said. "I'm the one who's going to kill you." The King laughed, although in his current state it sounded more like he was choking.

"Yes, by all means, go ahead. I don't care, I had a good run." For a few seconds he was quiet. "Do you think this proves anything?" He asked. Diamond paused.

"What do you mean?"

"A God Tier Prince took me down with a single attack. That's pretty powerful, even for a Prince. You'd do well to keep an eye on that one. He's a good ally for now, but imagine trying to stop him."

"Ember doesn't have a cunning bone in his body," Diamond said. The King shrugged.

"Well, suit yourself. But listen. One attack from a God Tier, that crippled me, after I've already been battered by you lot back in the other session." He shook his head. "And in this game, I'm small fry. What do you think you're going to do against the big one? The guy that should have been here instead of me? An attack like that one, even if the Prince could do it again - which he can't - would probably stagger him, maybe even take out a limb. If you want to even pose a threat, you're going to need everyone at the top of their game."

"Why are you giving me advice?" Diamond asked. The King chuckled worryingly.

"Why shouldn't I? I stopped working for those idiots the moment I realised they were going to leave me for dead." Despite everything, Diamond almost felt sorry for the King, even if he had killed Celestia. "And besides, this isn't advice. This is a warning. If you go after that guy, you're going to die. That tough one, the Heir, what's his name..."

"... Golden?" Diamond offered.

"Yeah, him. He's scary. He's powerful and he's tricky. But let me tell you this," the King's voice sounded a little too gleeful for Diamond's liking. "Even Golden watches his tone around the big guy."

"But why?" Diamond asked. "Why would they make something that even they can't control?" The King gave her an odd look.

"To get control over something that they should never have control of." He paused, then corrected himself. "Something that no one should have control of."

"And what's that?" Diamond asked.

"Everything." The King replied simply. "Now hurry up and kill me." And, after a moment's consideration, Diamond obliged.

***

"They stopped the Reckoning," Silver said, boarding the warship with a worried expression. "That didn't take long at all. I was kind of hoping we'd at least have time to leave before they finished." Mild shrugged off her concerns.

"Who cares? We'll be long gone before they can do anything. Right, Golden?" He gave Discord a hopeful glance, only to be waved away.

"Not quite," Discord said. "They'll spend a bit longer on the Battlefield messing around, sorting out the frog or something, whatever. I need to go take care of something first." Waving the Paradox Gate in his paw, he hit the centre and transportalised himself onto Mild's planet. Mild sighed.

"Ah, yeah, I forgot he needed to do that." He noticed Silver's slightly bemused expression. "What's wrong?"

"Where did he get that Gate?" Silver asked, mentally checking that the Gate was still in her sylladex, which it was. Mild shrugged.

"I think he stole it from Twilight a while ago. Of course, once he's done over there, he'll give it to you and then come back here."

"... I swear that doesn't add up, somehow," Silver said uncertainly. "We gave those MAPs to Echidna, didn't we?" Mild nodded.

"Yeah, but there are two MAPs for this session, that's the important part. We gave Comet the code for one, remember?" In truth, it had taken Mild a bit of time to figure out what the deal with all the MAPs was, but finally it seemed to have fallen into place. "That's how everything until now has worked out."

"Well, OK," Silver said. "But even so... doesn't part of you want to deliberately not do something just to see what happens?"

"You mean, do I want to make a paradox?" Mild asked. "Not really, no. We've been fantastically lucky so far, and I don't want to tempt fate. Maybe we can make a few paradoxes after we're in control of everything."

"Fine," Silver said. "So, uh... how long until he gets back?" Mild gave her a pained look.

"... fuck."

***

"Alright then, we've killed the King," Comet said. "But that's no reason to go relaxing any time soon. Barely any of the denizens have been dealt with, so there's no grist hoard for us until that's taken care of."

"Are we seriously going to play the game, then?" Luna asked. "We're just going to ignore that Mild and Silver and Discord are taking over paradox space or whatever?" Comet shrugged.

"What else can we do?" He asked simply.

"What else? What else?" Luna asked. "Oh, I don't know, maybe we could save my sister! And then chase after Discord and stop him!"

"We don't know where he's going," Comet pointed out. "And we don't know how he's getting there. Plus our only mode of transport is with Twilight, and she and Fluttershy have just dropped off the fucking grid."

"Yeah, about that..." a voice behind Comet said. He turned to see where it had come from and, upon finding where it had come from, was tempted to keep on turning. "I've got some good news and some bad news." Twilight said, unable to keep the grin off of her face. Beside her stood Spike, looking rather pleased with himself, as he looked up at the winged unicorn beside him.

"Twilight." Comet stated. "You're... uh... you're God Tier now... uh... when... when did this happen, exactly?" The Mage shook her head.

"Ages ago, before we even left for Luna's session," she replied. "After coming back from their session, that is."

"And how did it happen?" Comet asked, before stopping himself. "Discord, obviously... next question, where's Fluttershy?" Twilight paused, confused.

"We revived her... hasn't she come down from Derse yet?" The blank looks she was receiving told her the answer. "Oh. That's odd, it's been quite a while since then."

"We can worry about that later," Comet said. "What's the bad news?"

"I lost the Gate," Twilight said. "Well, I say that I lost it. I was dead at the time, so you can't really blame me for it."

"I can and will," Comet informed her. "OK, so, we have three God Tiers now, that's pretty good. Back to the topic at hand, though, we have no way of chasing after Discord even if we knew where he was going. Any ideas?"

"We could just ask," Star Swirl said, pointing a hoof at where a surprised Discord was standing.

"Hello!" Discord said, waving happily. "This is the part where I kill you!"

***

PD: Have you got it yet.

FA: maybe i have, maybe i haven't

FA: only the moon knows

PD: Gog damn it Comet, I dont have time for this.

FA: ok, ok. seriously, what's up with you

FA: where are you?

PD: Derse, if you must know.

FA: why?

PD: Because.

FA: ...

FA: fine, whatever, this isn't at all suspicious

FA: 77D3ewF0

PD: Youre sure?

FA: i'm 50% sure

FA: that's either the code for the map, or for a badass fire skag

FA: good luck

PD: ...

FA: what?

FA: yes it's the fucking code, get off my back already

PD: Fine.

PD: Thanks.

FA: can you make gratitude sound any more forced?

FA: i don't think you can

PD: Im going now.

FA: good

[psychoticDeceiver ceased pestering fractalAbomination]

***

Instantly, the battle froze. Discord stopped mid-stab, and looked around at the frozen ponies. Not one to waste an opportunity, he attempted to move his umbrella, but found that it too was frozen along with everything else. This was interesting.

"Hello?" Discord called. The air shifted slightly, and he turned around to see the Mage of Time approaching. "Oh, Twilight. I should have figured it was you. Very well done, by the way... what do you want?"

"I want to know where you're going and how you're getting there," Twilight said simply. "And you're going to tell me."

"Am I now?" Discord asked, a smile dancing around his face. "What makes you so sure of that?" A sudden intense pain shot through his arm, causing him to cry out in surprise. He fell to the ground, as more bursts of pain caused him to writhe around the surface of the Battlefield. After a few minutes, the pain stopped, and Twilight allowed him to rise to his feet. "What... what was that?" Discord gasped, as Twilight casually brushed imaginary dust of the frozen ponies around her.

"That was a warning," Twilight stated. "This has gone on for long enough, Discord. I'm putting an end to it. You will tell me what I want to know."

"Yeah." Discord shook himself. "Yeah, OK."

"Good." Twilight smiled a little too sweetly. "So, first of all, where are you going?"

"The middle," Discord said. "The middle of the Paradox Loop." Twilight raised a quizzical eyebrow, and Discord sighed dramatically. "Our sessions are arranged in a sort of loop, right? It's called a Paradox Loop, and in the centre... is something of interest."

"So how do you plan on getting there?" Twilight asked.

"Paradox Gate," Discord said. "We hook it up to our ship, and we use the power of our King to steer through the Veil, into the places where no one should be able to go. Nothing gets to the middle, under normal circumstances. Nothing."

"And what are you going to do when you get there?" Discord grinned.

"Heh, I don't even care about telling you, because you're never going to be able to do anything." He was going to enjoy this, despite his current situation. "We're going to take control of our own destinies. Getting to God Tier doesn't make you immortal, you know. It makes you hard to kill, but nothing lasts forever. Nothing." He winked. "Sound familiar?"

"... wait..."

"Yeah, it's what you think," Discord said. "I get into the middle, and the fabric of paradox space will bend to my will. I'm not just going to be unkillable. I'm going to be immortal. But you, Twilight, and all of your little friends... you're going to have never existed."

"Hm, sounds like you've got it all figured out," Twilight said. "Oh, except I've got you trapped here. What if I never let you go?" Discord shrugged.

"You're going to, whether you like it or not. You might be a God but you can't keep this kind of pressure up for long. Especially not if you're moving around and talking at the same time." He smiled as Twilight shifted uncomfortably. She knew that he was right. "I reckon you've got, what, another thirty seconds?" He laughed lightly. "Better make them count, Twilight."

"OK, last question," Twilight said. "How do you know about all of this?"

"That's sort of a grey area," Discord said. "The plan was originally suggested by Mild to me, and me to Mild. But I have something of a guarantee that the premise is true. And on the same token, I know that it's literally impossible for you to kill me. At least, for now."

And with that, Twilight released the spell, collapsing to the ground while the others burst into life, and immediately began attacking a startled Discord, who simply transportalised away with his Paradox Gate. Figures, Twilight thought to herself. Of course he'd have planned that.

***

"Let's just clarify something here," Star Swirl said, after everyone on the Battlefield had calmed down. "They're going to the middle? The middle of our sessions?"

"Yes," Twilight repeated. "To, I don't know, control everything, whatever that actually means."

"And they need all the power of a 23-fold King to get there?"

"Yes," Twilight said simply. "Well, I don't know about the actual numbers, but they're using the King. Maybe the middle has some kind of defense that they need to get around?"

"Possibly," Star Swirl mused. "In which case we wouldn't need as much power, would we? If they break the defense on the way in then we should be able to just slip by."

"Yes," Luna said. "But we can't get there. We don't have a Gate any more, remember?" Luna was rather annoyed about this whole affair. The promise she had made to Echidna was fresh in her mind, and everything about this recent turn of events was beginning to feel like the trap was closing around her. "Unless anyone has any bright ideas?"

"I have several," Star Swirl said happily.

"Comet?" Twilight asked, turning away from the discussion towards the unicorn, who appeared to be sulking. "What is it?"

"Nothing," Comet said dismissively. "I just wonder if there's something we're forgetting."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's nothing, but..." he shrugged. "There's a lot about this that I don't like, starting with the amount of death that's been happening lately." He blinked. "... death. That's it. That's what I forgot." He gave Twilight a curious look. "Fluttershy's missing. She died, and you revived her, so her dreamself should be here, but she's not. When did we stop worrying about that?"

"I don't know," Twilight said. "I guess Discord arrived and then we had more important things to worry about, like how we're going to chase after them."

"That's not more important," Comet said. "That's not more important than making sure everyone's alive and well."

"I... I know that," Twilight said. "But I'm sure she's fine." Comet was silent for a few moments.

"... yeah, probably."

***

"Mild, don't do this, it's stupid," Silver protested, as Mild alchemised the MAP that Comet had given him the code for. "We should just wait for Golden to get back."

"You're right," Mild said. "But we don't have time."

"How will this save time?" Silver asked. "We'll end up missing him, and then we'll both waste time trying to get back in touch."

"This would be so much easier if he hadn't stopped carrying his laptop around with him," Mild complained. "But whatever. Fine. Let's just wait here."

"That's the first sensible thing you've said in a while," Silver said with a sigh of relief. "Don't worry, he'll be here soon."

"Your faith in him is a little worrying," Mild said. "I don't know how you can trust him like that. He doesn't really care about either of us, I hope you realise that."

"Of course," Silver said. "That doesn't mean he's not a good business partner."

"This isn't a business, it's a retirement plan," Mild pointed out. "And I don't intend to lose it just because you've misjudged Golden."

"Likewise," Silver said. "Look, if you're so worried about it, then why don't you go?"

"What? What good will it do if I go on my own?" Mild asked. Silver shrugged.

"Actually, it works better than if I went with you. I'll stay here, you go back to our session, and whoever finds Golden first transportalises to where the other one is," Silver said. "Either you find him in our session and come back to me and the King, or I find him here and we'll all go to where you are."

"Wait, hold on," Mild said. "If I find him, we can't not go back for you. How do I know that you'll come and get me?"

"... you are really paranoid, you know that?" Silver asked.

"I have two allies, both of whom are mentally disturbed murderers. It's a wonder I haven't been killed yet," Mild pointed out. He paused. "Actually, I have been killed once, and that was Golden's fault. So actually, I think my paranoia is pretty justified."

"Look, think about it this way," Silver said. "You have your Mindy thing. Yes, it's nullified by Luna's Voidy thing, but so what? Given the obstacles we're going to face... well, one obstacle in particular, don't you think you're powers will be pretty much essential?" Mild paused and thought about that.

"I guess. But it's not about that, it's about whether Golden sees it that way."

"Look, you don't have to go!" Silver shouted. "Stay here if you want. I'm just saying that you could go, and it'll be possible to regroup no matter who finds him." They were silent for a few seconds.

"Yeah, OK," Mild sighed. "I'll go. If you find him, then... can you promise me that you'll pick me up?" Silver laughed.

"You almost sounded vulnerable for a minute there," she taunted. "But... yeah, sure." Mild nodded, and activated the MAP, transportalising back into his old session. Almost immediately, Discord bounded into the throne room, Paradox Gate in hand.

"Whew, took you long enough to get rid of him," Discord complained. "Now, let's get this show on the road!"

Chapter 36

View Online

A/N: "Shit shit shit shit shit. SHIT. How the actual fuck did this happen? I can't believe I was so stupid. I can't believe that reality is so stupid that this kind of bullshit actually passes for a thing that can happen. FUCK." I pause mid-rant, almost collapsing as some distant noise echoes faintly along one of the countless corridors, and scares the ever-loving crap out of me. Being this close to my room, the slightest hint of a noise is absolutely terrifying. "OK, calm down, pull yourself together. You're going to do more damage to yourself by thinking that every single creak is your impending doom than your impending doom ever would." This is not strictly true, and a part of me knows this. Most likely it is the part of me writing this narration, being the smartass that he is. I mean, that I am. For Celestia's sake, this isn't going to work if I can't at least figure out if I'm writing in third or first person. Maybe I'm writing in first person, but referring to himself in third person? Wait, no, that's just retarded.

My relationship with the winding, twisting, non-Euclidean geometry of the Infinite Hotel had been one almost as tumultuous as the process through which a small wing of the structure had fallen under my possession. Initially it had seemed a quaint, nonsensical place from which to direct my greatly misunderstood musings on what fun it would be if a bunch of cute rainbow coloured ponies were killed in horribly avoidable ways. Later on, of course, it was nothing but trouble when trying to defend such a severely warped layout against intruders. Especially the kinds of intruders who specialise in kicking reality in the face. But now, looking back on my situation for the last few months, I have come to appreciate the confounding array of tunnels and staircases. They serve to conceal me, and are complex enough that they deter any attempts by my opponents to try to find me. They assume that, if I were to try anything that could harm their plans, I would need to come to them. They're only half right.

As I reach the end of an infinitely long corridor, I pause before the junction and duck to one side, resting against the comfortingly solid door to room 4.29188230486e+93. I may as well take this final opportunity to catch my breath. The final stretch of my journey lies ahead, and it is not one to be taken lightly. I should know - the better part of the morning has been spent attempting to delay this moment. On more than one occasion, I have come this far, only to suddenly remember that I am a pathetic coward and run away again. This is still true. However, the time has now come when I cannot delay any longer. The hour to take back control of my destiny is now. Or some bullshit like that. In any case, the hour is now, but the precise minute is still a way off. Far away enough, at least, that I can afford to spend some quality time on my laptop.

[CURRENT theatricalParagon began dictating to CURRENT mediocreHost]

CTP: Are you in position?

CMH: Naturally. You're sure you want to go through with this now?

CTP: Yeah. It has to be now. If I don't move now, then it's never going to happen.

CMH: If you're sure.

CTP: Listen, I know you have your doubts. Just trust me, OK?

CMH: I don't see why I should. You've never failed to let me down before.

CTP: Hey. I told you. I'm really sorry that this happened.

CMH: I know. I just hope you realise that you're a terrible person and this is all your fault. It was stupidly avoidable.

CTP: ... yeah. It was. I have no excuses, and I suck at existing. Can we accept that I get that, and just skip ahead to where I fix everything?

CMH: Everything? That's hardly a modest goal. I'm calling MS on your self-sertion. You are overpowered and you should feel terrible.

CTP: You're only allowed to say that after my plan works.

CMH: OK. Except I won't be able to, will I?

CTP: ...

CTP: I never wanted this, you know.

CMH: I know. I just figured that if I was mean to you in our final conversation you wouldn't feel so bad about it.

CTP: Stop being so fucking benevolent.

CMH: See?

CMH: But seriously, it really is OK. I'm fine.

CTP: OK.

CTP: ... good bye.

CMH: Bye. ;)

CTP: I'll save you if I can.

CMH: Don't you dare.

[CURRENT mediocreHost ceased being dictated to by CURRENT theatricalParagon]

A few moments of staring blankly at my laptop pass by, before it suddenly runs out of battery and dies without any warning whatsoever. Who the hell built this piece of - oh, who am I kidding. I can never stay mad at my laptop. It is my best friend. The only friend I have ever known.

...

That is, the only friend besides the one who is about to heroically sacrifice herself because of my own stupidity.

...

Quality time on my laptop never works out as well as I want it to.

***108 DAYS EARLIER***

"Wait, what?" Comet blinked dumbly a few times. If Twilight had been around, and was somehow aware of the narration being provided, she may have commented that 'Comet blinked a few times' would have sufficiently conveyed the action. However, she couldn't, and wasn't. In fact, she was on a completely different planet, preparing to leave for Comet's incipisphere with the others, a fact that was quickly filling Comet with dread. "I'm starting to get a really bad feeling..." It occurred to him that he was alone, as Ember had left a few minutes ago to collect Fluttershy from Derse.

In front of him, at the heart of LONAG, the last few grains on a giant crystal hourglass were slowly draining away. He knew exactly what this was. It was this incipisphere's mechanism for initiating a reset. He didn't need to guess what would happen when the final grain was gone, and he knew full well that he didn't want to be hanging around when it happened. He also knew exactly who had started this particular doomsday device, and he had an unnerving feeling that he knew why.

[fractalAbomination began pestering crespucularMagicant]

FA: hey, so

FA: is everyone good to go on your end?

CM: Hm?

CM: Pretty much. We're just waiting for all of you. Why?

FA: nothing. i just have a feeling we'll need to hurry things up a little

CM: Why, where are you?

FA: ember's getting fluttershy. i decided to come to lonag

CM: What? Why would you go there?

FA: call it intuition

FA: and you know what?

CM: ... what.

FA: turns out my intuition is fucking incredible

FA: care to explain?

CM: I have no idea what you're talking about.

FA: oh fucking hell

CM: Swearing isn't going to get you anywhere.

FA: if you're playing dumb then that means everything i'm dreading is true

CM: Yeah, whatever.

FA: you started the hourglass off a while ago, after you ascended

FA: but you didn't tell anyone, or at least you didn't tell me

FA: and now i'm on a different planet to the only exit

CM: Are you suggesting that I'm trying to get you caught in the reset?

FA: not 'suggesting', so much as 'pointing it out'

FA: i assume this is as some kind of twisted revenge for my previous behaviour

CM: I have just had it.

CM: I have had it with you. And Ember. And with every single problem being ALL YOUR FAULT.

FA: ok, yeah, i did a lot of stupid shit back when i didn't understand what was happening

FA: i didn't do it because i wanted to hurt any of you

CM: I don't care! All of my best friends are dead because of you two!

CM: I don't have anyone left.

FA: wait, what about fluttershy? if you leave me and ember behind then you're leaving her behind as well

CM: She's dead already.

FA: she's... what?

CM: Do you think I didn't check? I had more than enough Time to. Her dreamself was killed almost instantly by a Dersite soldier. It's not like her dreamself had armour on, so she was severely underlevelled.

FA: ... and you didn't tell anyone so that me and ember would leave to find her

CM: I don't have to answer to you.

CM: Goodbye, Comet.

CM: I hope I never see you again.

FA: she's not beyond saving, you know

CM: Shut up.

FA: twilight. please. don't be a bitch

CM: Die in a fire.

[crespucularMagicant ceased being pestered by fractalAbomination]

"FUCK!" Comet cried, angrily closing his laptop and storming meaninglessly around the cavern, while the hourglass continued to drain away. How had he let this happen? Who the fuck did Twilight think she was, leaving him for dead like this?

Of course, she was angry with him. She was angry with him because he was an idiot, and he deserved that. Everything was his fault, after all. It was perfectly understandable that she hated him. But somehow, he couldn't find it in himself to accept that. He wasn't about to wait around and be completely removed from existence just because some smartass Mage was upset with him. Hurriedly, he retrieved a large, heavy book from his sylladex.

The grains in the hourglass continued to trickle away.

***

"Twilight? Are you OK?" Luna asked, clearly concerned by the forced smile Twilight was currently wearing. "What did Comet want?"

"Oh, he was just telling me to go on ahead. They've met a little resistance on Derse, and we're never going to get anywhere if we keep waiting around." She glanced around, making a quick head count. Herself, Spike, Luna, Star Swirl, Diamond Heart, Acapella, and a dead Celestia. That was everyone. How did it come to this, she asked herself. "They'll make another MAP and catch up with us when they're done."

"OK, sure." Luna nodded upwards, at the rapidly intensifying flashes of light that were illuminating the atmosphere of Skaia. "I don't know what that is, but it's giving me a bad feeling. The sooner we get out of here, the better. For more reasons than one."

***

A short distance from Derse, a warship was finally commencing the last few preparations before it could begin its final voyage. Around the ship was an air of restlessness, as if all the efforts of those within had been focused on preparing the vessel for this one, final act, and that the final act had taken its sweet time in happening. Which they had, and which it had. This was a day that would be remembered as the day that shit stopped becoming real, and instead finally got its act together and did something meaningful. It was, everyone agreed, about time.

On the deck of the ship, a being of pure force eyed the black expanse grimly. It was not an inky blackness that concealed the twisted shapes of the doomfestered beings from beyond the eighth plane; it was not the soft, velvety darkness of the night sky. It was, quite simply, black. There was no depth to the view, no variation in the light that revealed any hint of what lay beyond. There was simply empty, and that was all that had occupied the attention of the Black King for the last few hours. He knew, of course, that although the way ahead was completely devoid of anything, with his power they would be able to find their way to something. Somehow.

"Are you ready for this?" The Queen asked, reminding the King that he had company. The Queen shared his prototypings, but did not display them in quite the same way. For one thing, she was only a fraction of his size, as he occupied most of the deck. Not only that, but she retained an unaltered mouth, and was still capable of speech. The King nodded his large armoured head in reply. "Good. We have to get this right. There can be no excuses." The King nodded again, and the two monarchs stared in silence at the emptiness together.

Within the ship itself, Silver Heart was making the last few adjustments to the Paradox Gate. Combined with the power of the King, the device would finally have enough strength to achieve the impossible. Or at least, enough strength to achieve the incredibly ill-advised, but that debate is a different matter entirely. While the unicorn worked, Discord paced anxiously around the control room. The session would soon be Scratched, he knew. Besides which, in his opinion there had been entirely too much screwing around doing a whole lot of nothing lately. It felt as if events were gradually but unescapably slowing down, ever approaching but never reaching their final grand crescendo.

"No time to waste," Discord repeated. "If we go back then we'll be sitting around for another day or so doing absolutely nothing. I am sick and tired of waiting for our plan to be a thing which is happening."

"We're not going back for him?" Silver asked in a surprised tone. Mild's fate had initially seemed rather amusing, but it was slowly dawning on her that Discord was deadly serious about leaving him behind. "Uh... won't we need his Mindy thing?"

"His Mindy thing is complete rubbish," Discord stated. "There's nothing it can achieve that sheer force can't. And we clearly have that in spades, if you'll pardon the pun. The Queen's getting ready with the King, and in a few minutes we'll be good to go." He paused to glance out of the battleship, at the faint view of Skaia. "And by the looks of things, a few minutes will be cutting it pretty fine. We'd best be off, at last."

"He won't be happy about this when he finds out," Silver pointed out. Discord paused and stared at her, as if it simply had not occurred to him that Mild was considered a threat by anyone. "Uh. That is, there's no reason to leave him behind, is there?"

"Not really. Nor is there any reason for me to listen to his stupid voice any longer," Discord reasoned. "So, on reflection, I'd rather go without." He was clearly anxious about leaving, and Silver had a feeling that it wasn't purely because of the impending Scratch.

"Golden, is there some rush to get going that you haven't told me about?" Discord suddenly span around to face her, his expression caught between shock, fear, and fury. "You don't have to tell me," Silver said hurriedly. "Whatever, everyone has their reasons. I just... you know, if you have something important to do then I can appreciate that." The Heir was silent for a few moments.

"All you need to know is that I want to get there as soon as possible," he said. "Is that a problem or something?"

"No, not at all," Silver assured him. "Go and fetch the Queen. We can leave now." Discord nodded.

"OK, I'll just go up and-" he was cut off as the entire warship trembled as a sudden, terrible blow shook the entire structure. The control room quivered, almost sending Silver flying. "What the fuck was that!?" Discord yelled, quickly getting his bearings and teleporting above the deck. To his surprise, what he found was a small crater in the surface of the deck, in the centre of which stood Ember Glow. Discord couldn't quite put his finger on what it was, but something about the look in the Prince's eyes seemed to give off a sense of pure hatred.

Ember leapt into the air without a word, warping around Discord as the Heir quickly twisted his way around the Prince's attacks. As powerful as Discord was, he knew that if just one of Ember's attacks actually managed to connect then it would be very bad news for him. Attempting to create some distance, Discord reached into his sylladex and jettisoned the first thing which he found - a pure crystal salamander, which instantly shattered into thousands of glistening fragments. Leaping away from Ember in the brief confusion, Discord equipped his umbrella and turned around, only to find Ember right beside him again. Again, Discord was forced to dance around the Prince, barely keeping ahead of his attacks. This was no good. If this kept up then he would lose.

Ember would have been enjoying himself if he wasn't so busy being furious. Discord was just about the only other player who could match his strength. Ember would almost feel some kind of kinship towards him, if not for how his recent journey to find Fluttershy had turned out. At that moment, the only thing keeping Ember focused was just how much he wanted someone to pay for what had happened. That was the only thing that mattered. Sadly for him, this meant that Discord had his full attention, and so there was never any hope for him to predict what happened next. Swinging his hammer with all his might, Ember's Spacey thing once again warped the area around the two enemies, eliminating the space between the hammer and Discord's face. With a satisfying crunch, the Heir was sent plummeting into the deck of the ship, creating another small crater alongside where Ember had landed. Unfortunately, this was exactly what the Black King had been waiting for - a clear shot at the intruder. One colossal fist flew forwards. Almost instantly, Ember joined Discord in an unconscious heap on top of the ship, and the King turned back to the Queen and gave a mumbled instruction. She nodded.

"Yes, it would seem things are finally ready. I should leave now." She calmly walked over to the entrance to the ship, pausing briefly to wave back to the King. "Take care."

***

"OK," Twilight said, as the few remaining ponies appeared in Comet's old incipisphere, on the surface of the Land of Cloud and Ruins. "Star Swirl, you and me are heading to Comet's house and alchemising all the other gates we need. Luna, you take Celestia's body to Ember's planet and get her to the quest bed. Spike, Acapella and Diamond, head to Skaia and see if you can't find us a ship that's not too badly damaged." The other ponies (and Spike, after a moment's persuasion) nodded, and took off in their groups, leaving Twilight and Star Swirl behind. "Right, let's get going." Star Swirl nodded, and followed Twilight as she began following a network of thin rope bridges across the clouds and back towards Comet's house.

"Twilight," Star Swirl said, as they walked. "I'm not judging you, and I'm not saying you were wrong, but... you've left Comet and Ember for dead, haven't you?" Twilight froze, forcing Star Swirl to wait as well. "The lights above Skaia, which was the Scratch about to happen. Luna's seen it before, but I don't know if she made the connection or not."

"That's just crazy talk," Twilight said dismissively. "Why would the session be resetting?"

"Because someone started the Scratch," Star Swirl reasoned. "Someone who understands how Time works. I didn't do it, and Comet's not the type for noble self-sacrifice, so it was you. What I want to know is why."

"I didn't start the Scratch," Twilight protested. "Why would I have left Fluttershy to die, anyway?"

"You wouldn't have," Star Swirl stated. "She was dead already, wasn't she?" Twilight didn't answer, which was as good as a confirmation. "And you're angry about that. That's understandable. She was the only friend you had left. So what, you decided to take revenge on Comet and Ember? Comet because he's been a dick for pretty much the whole game, and Ember because.... he was meant to be protecting Fluttershy?"

"I." Twilight began, still neglecting to turn around. It was hard to tell without seeing her face, but it sounded to Star Swirl as if she was on the verge of tears. "I just don't understand why this is happening. What did me and my friends do to deserve this? We were just a bunch of stupid ponies trying to save our home. That's how this all started. I... I didn't want any of this."

"No," Star Swirl corrected her. "That's not how it started. This never started. Nothing in this entire mess happened before anything else, chronologically speaking. It all stems from something that happened earlier. Since the day you were spawned from ghost slime by some fool randomly pressing buttons on a machine they didn't understand, your life has been meant to go through all of this terrible stuff."

"If this is meant to be cheering me up then it's not working," Twilight said bitterly. "I am sick to death of inevitability. Why can I never have any choice about what happens to my friends? Why is that so unreasonable?"

"... you figured it out when you ascended, I guess," Star Swirl said. "My universe, the one me and Celestia come from... is a reset version of your universe. Just like how your universe is a reset version of mine. Therefore your session had to be reset." He shook his head sadly. "Your session begets mine which begets yours... this really is a never-ending clusterfuck of terrible ideas. And it's not fair."

"Star Swirl, that's not all I figured out when I ascended," Twilight said sadly. She turned to face him at last, and he could see that she had, indeed, been about to cry. "I suddenly saw all of time, for a split second. All of the timelines intersecting and branching and recreating themselves in and around our sessions. I understood it all, and... and that's why I know that Celestia has to ascend right now. She HAS to." She looked away. "It would be possible to save Fluttershy if she was brought to this quest bed. But it could only be her, or Celestia. One of them is just a fake version of the pony I respect more than anypony else. And the other is one of my best friends, who is only dead because I got her involved in all of this. And... and I chose Celestia. Because that's right. That's what's meant to happen."

"Twilight," Star Swirl said, trying to slow down Twilight's train of thought before she started crying again. "Stop blaming yourself for everything. You're not meant to be the one to save everything, and that's a ridiculous expectation to give yourself."

"I know," Twilight said. "But at the very least, I should be able to save the ponies I care about. Shouldn't I? Is it really so unreasonable that I want to do that?" Star Swirl was silent for a few moments as he thought about that, before walking over to Twilight and hugging her.

"No," he said quietly. "It's not unreasonable at all." He glanced around, at the gaping chasm that extended beneath the bridge, mostly hidden beneath the thick layers of cloud that drifted around the planet. He suddenly felt very isolated.

***

Endless emptiness extended for infinity in 29 perpendicular directions around the warship. In the 30th dimension, however, a brilliant flash of light arced peculiarly across the void, illuminating vast tracts of absolutely nothing, as the forces binding the nothingness of the void together began to break down before the sheer power of the Black King. The Queen's precise and powerful magic combined with the Paradox Gate gave the warship the trajectory that would take it to the centre of the Paradox Loop. The King's unlimited destructive power acted as the motor. Countless miles of impenetrably empty darkness were torn asunder by pure energy, as all 23 of the King's prototypings worked together to tear down countless centuries of accumulated wisdom of how not to write a story with a really shitty twist. Literary taste, class, and dignity were all mere annoyances to the power of the King, as the warship steadily grew ever closer to its infinitely distant destination.

Inside the ship, Ember and Discord sat across a table from each other. Discord wore an incredibly smug expression on his face, while Ember appeared rather irritated. It wasn't ideal, but Discord much preferred disgruntled Ember to homicidal Ember.

"We'll reach the centre soon," Discord commented. "Once we get there, nothing can go wrong. Our enemy is notoriously slippery, and he'll pounce on the first chance for a comeback we give him. Our tactics have to be solid, and fast. So let me confirm this again, to make absolutely sure." He leaned forwards, a genuine smile on his face. He was very happy with himself for making such a good outcome of the situation. "Are you on our side, Ember?"

"Yeah," Ember said after a moment's pause. "And when we win, are you going to keep your promise?" Discord laughed.

"Haha! Why wouldn't I? I don't care what you do after I win. I can make a separate universe where you and all your friends live happily forever, if you want. It doesn't matter to me." He clapped his paw and claw together, and a pear appeared out of thin air, which he caught and began chewing on thoughtfully. "If I wanted to see you suffer, I can just make another one of you out of nowhere, and torment him instead. But I don't," he added quickly, seeing Ember's face darken. "Not in the slightest."

"Well then, I guess I'm on your side now," Ember said. "But, I wonder. What do you want to do with unlimited power, them?" Discord considered the question, stroking his chin absently.

"Now, that's the real question, isn't it." He shrugged noncommittally. "I suppose that all I really want... is all that anyone wants." Finishing his pear, he chucked the stalk behind him, where it promptly became a chicken. "To live happily ever after."

***END OF ACT 3***

"Now, this strikes me as good a place to halt proceedings as any. I would ask that you all remain here for just a few moments, as I must leave for a short while to consult with our special guest." As I look out on you all, it seems clear to me that many of you have forgotten that I have ever claimed the existence of my close friend. Perhaps the more cynical members of the audience were inclined to believe that such a person did not exist. However, I assure you that he is real, or at least is what passes for real in this day and age. "It would seem that, due to semi-foreseen events, he will be joining us after all, although this may be under rather unusual circumstances. Please excuse me for a short while, and do help yourself to refreshments."

After making this rather abrupt pause, I quickly vacate the room and make sure that the doors are all properly sealed. Events have begun moving far too quickly for my liking. Once I am satisfied that you are perfectly safe, I retrieve my phone and contact my friend.

[CURRENT mediocreHost began narrating to CURRENT theatricalParagon]

CMH: I hope you realise what you're doing.

CMH: This is beginning to get dangerous.

CTP: I thought I made this quite clear. I do not have the slightest clue what I'm doing.

CMH: Please try to take this seriously, OK?

CMH: My life is very much at risk.

CTP: Oh please, don't give me that. You're fine.

CTP: It's not like they can make it to the Hotel.

CMH: And why not?

CTP: This is probably too advanced for someone like you to understand. But, put simply, there are some rules you cannot break.

CTP: Some boundaries you cannot breach. The unspoken laws.

CTP: It is generally accepted that breaking those laws would be kind of dumb.

CMH: I hate to point this out, but you have been described with those exact words many times.

CTP: Don't be so pessimistic. I've got this under control.

CMH: What's scary is that you believe that.

CMH: Listen, I've agreed to go along with your plan. I trust you. Or rather, I want to trust you.

CMH: But, I... I'm kind of scared.

CMH: Please. Please don't joke around.

CTP: OK, listen, I know I've been a little flippant about the details of my master plan.

CTP: And you may have been given the impression that I genuinely, sincerely don't give a shit.

CTP: And maybe that's exactly right.

CTP: But I assure you, I have everything under control. Nothing can possibly go wrong.

CMH: You are coming, aren't you?

CMH: I'd feel a lot safer if you were with me.

CTP: As sweet as that is, I hope you realise that I'm just as powerless as you are. If not more so.

CMH: Meaning that I can use you as a distraction.

CTP: ...

CMH: Kidding! Obviously I'm kidding.

CTP: Sure. But yes, I will join you soon.

CTP: The machine's where you left it, right?

CMH: You're not going to use that, are you?

CTP: Not unless I have to. I'll pull a thousand author-serts before I resort to using the machine.

CTP: In theory. But it's probably a good idea to know where it is at all times.

CMH: Well then, yes, it's where I left it.

CTP: Cool. Well, see you.

CMH: Bye.

[CURRENT mediocreHost ceased narrating to CURRENT theatricalParagon]

I breathe a sigh of relief as I put my phone away. The danger is still present, and very pressing, but it is comforting to think that I will not have to face it alone. I will return to the study and resume my narration soon, but first I will take this rare opportunity to collect my thoughts. I close my eyes, and allow myself to recall the time from before this tale began. But all too soon, my eyes spring open as a sharp claw taps me on the shoulder, and I find myself staring into the eyes of a grotesque monster clad in purple pyjamas.

"Checkmate," Discord says to me, grinning a grin that I know will haunt me for the rest of my life. Luckily, I seriously doubt that I will live long enough for that to become a problem.

Chapter 37

View Online

A/N: "Shit shit shit shit shit. SHIT." I suppose I need to stop swearing quite so much at myself, but it really can't be helped. The bastard deserves it for letting this stupid mess get so irreversibly out of hand. I can't even begin to - OH SHIT. I jump out of the way just in time, as a plot device next to me suddenly explodes into a billion hilarious jokes, and I narrowly avoid using a witty yet curiously worded pun about compasses and uncertain pauses. I'm sure it would have been well received, but there are some boundaries I am not willing to cross. At any rate, the condition of crucial story elements seems to be deteriorating the closer I get to the study, which matches the result I would expect. It is, at least, an indication that I am heading the right way. However, far beyond any concern I have for my misguided creation, the failing health of random pieces of plot is of great concern to me, especially since-

That which is, for the sake of convenience, currently being called reality, warps and bulges in unexpected and rather suggestive ways. I can't say I'm surprised. Due to recently being thrown violently against the wall, I am unable to see anything clearly, and the current state of reality matches my ability to explain it. Of course, this naturally causes the effect on my interpretation of events to intensify, and many less than vital storylines are quickly discarded as my head finally clears. This is why a clear line should be, and always has been, drawn between the characters of a story and the one narrating it. And, for that matter, the characters of a story and the author. Any other conceivable pairings between people involved in a story should be discounted as the stupid ideas they are because my personal life is none of your business anyway let's move on now.

The corridor is still spinning, but I am just about able to retain consciousness. It would be simply disastrous if I were to pass out, at least from a storytelling perspective. I am the narrator, after all. Sadly, my aggressors seem to be less than concerned about my wellbeing, much less the wellbeing of the story in general. It would seem I have no choice but to defend myself.

"**-" I attempt to shield myself behind a sudden scene transition, but it would seem that I am too slow, as I am sent

flying

down

the corridor

by a sudden swing of a warhammer before I can complete the incantation.

"Urgh..." I manage, but nothing happens because that wasn't a spell. That was me groaning in pain because I just had my ribs crushed. I apologise, but it seems that I am incapable of being anything other than terse when I am dying. Sorry about that. It is taking all of my energy to stare up at the pig-headed moron slowly approaching me to finish what he has started.

"I'd say this isn't personal," Ember Glow tells me, with a fire glowing in his otherwise dull eyes. "But we both know why I'm doing this, don't we?" My lungs have passed the point where they can be considered functioning organs, but I manage a ragged sigh nonetheless.

"I... can't believe..." In my condition, talking is ill-advised, but I am simply unable to resist the urge. One does not simply resist the lure of making smartass comments. "Just how... ridiculously... stupid... you really are..."

"Shut up and die," Ember says. I was going to anyway, since it hurts to talk - and to live, for that matter - but I really don't feel like taking orders from an idiot like him.

"Why don't... you make... me?" I ask, and try desperately not to burst into laughter when his eyes literally quiver in rage. This guy is so worked up. I can't even begin to stop hating him. He begins running towards me, warhammer at the ready, but I am prepared for this. I have to give my friend time. I have to trust that he can help me. So, it is without fear that I look up at my impending doom, and give a weak smile. "Inter... mission... 3..."

***INTERMISSION 3***

"I wonder how they're doing," Princess Luna said thoughtfully. The residents of Ponyville, rather shaken by the sudden removal of their hometown, had finally allowed themselves to be calmed down, and an uneasy peace had settled over the makeshift evacuee camp that had been established. In truth, there was no real reason why a proper camp hadn't been made well in advance of the surprise disaster, but the princesses had decided it was best to not arouse suspicion.

"Why?" Princess Celestia asked an incredulous look on her face. "That's a rather obsolete trail of thought, Luna." The princess of the night shrugged.

"I don't know. Isn't it only natural to worry about them?" Her sister responded with a half-hearted nod. "Honestly, you haven't changed a bit since those days, have you?"

"Neither have you," Celestia said. "So don't lecture me." A short silence followed, broken only by the distant cries of the foals whom had been rudely awakened by the sudden apocalypse. "But... yes. I do worry about them."

"Well, I suppose it's OK," Luna said. "They'll manage, somehow." She looked up at the meteor-clear skies, and a billion stars shone brightly back at her. "They'll have to."

***

"This was all such a fantastically glorious waste of time," Comet said. "I can't believe this." Silver Heart glanced over at the cynical unicorn standing next to her, and smiled cheerfully.

"Don't you think you're being a little selfish?"

"You're the last person I want to hear that from," Comet replied. "Except Twilight, I guess." He looked up at Skaia, as it gradually loomed ever closer. "It's great that you wanted to make some kind of epic self-sacrifice or whatever, but for someone who hasn't given up on life in a noble and character-redeeming fashion this kind of sucks." Silver shrugged.

"It doesn't seem like there's a lot you can do, is there?"

"I guess not," Comet admitted. "Twilight is damn good at killing people."

"I can't believe you're still angry with her," Silver said. "After all this time, I'd have thought that-"

"Hey," Comet interrupted. "Silver, with all due respect and everything, fuck you. Ditching me in a dying session and taking away my only form of escape is being pretty bitchy; I don't care what she's been through." He paused. "Well, OK, I guess I see where she's coming from." He paused again. "And I guess that I'd be pretty annoyed if I had good friends and they were killed." He paused again. "But that doesn't change the fact that she left me for dead, which is inexcusable." Silver shook her head in despair.

"I give up. I guess you're always going to be like this, aren't you?"

"Not for much longer," Comet pointed out. "... Still, at least you're happy with this." Silver gave him a quizzical expression. "I just mean, I feel responsible for what happened to you. And Golden. And everypony, really. But if you're OK with this, then... I don't know."

"See?" Silver said. "You really do care about everypony."

"That's stretching the truth a little," Comet said. "I just... I wish things had turned out differently, even if it's literally impossible for things to have turned out differently. None of us would even be alive if we hadn't failed so badly at everything. Not that many of us are alive."

"I don't think we can throw in the towel just yet," Silver said. "It's not over until it's over, after all."

"That's easy to say when you're already as good as dead," Comet noted. "Still. It's a nice thought."

The two ponies fell silent, standing side by side as they gazed into oblivion.

***

"Say, Acapella," Diamond Heart said, as the two ponies slowly explored the Dersite frigate they had found. Behind them, Spike was sulking by the entrance as the two had left him on guard duty. "What do you think about everything that's happened?"

"I don't know," Acapella said. "I really don't know. Everything's happened so fast, and I've just gone along with it all, but..." She paused. "So many ponies have died, and I didn't even know half of them. I'm not even sure why I started this game in the first place."

"I'm just glad you're still alive," Diamond said, as they cautiously entered the bridge. "I mean, look at Twilight. All of her friends are dead now, and you know what she's like. I'm glad you're still here to keep me sane." Acapella smiled weakly.

"Do you think Twilight hates us? I mean everyone from our session?"

"Probably. That's why she left Comet and Ember for dead, after all," Diamond said. "I don't know if she'll leave it at that or not. I just hope we can get this mess sorted out before she finally snaps." A short silence fell. Diamond turned to look at Acapella, who was looking at her curiously. "... What?"

"She left Comet and Ember for dead?" Acapella asked incredulously. Diamond held her gaze for a full minute, before shaking her head and sighing.

"Acapella, you're my best friend and everything, but sometimes you can be really slow." Whoever had been piloting the ship before its abrupt landing had been careless enough to die while they had been logged onto one of the many computers which lined the walls, which Diamond was now using to check on the ship's condition. It seemed intact, except for a nasty gap on the starboard side where a meteor had torn into the hull. That would need to be fixed, as soon as they figured out which side was supposed to be starboard.

"Wait a minute," Acapella said. "If Comet and Ember are out of the game, then..." she paused, and Diamond rolled her eyes as she realised what Acapella was trying to figure out. “You and me... we're... the only ones left?"

"Yeah," Diamond said. "I didn't even want to play this game, you know. Not really. I'm only here because you were playing it." Besides the large gap in the hull, there was something else wrong with the ship, but Diamond couldn't quite put her hoof on what it was. Something about the layout being displayed on the screen was wrong. It almost looked as if it was flickering, but her eyes couldn't quite catch it. She frowned. "Acapella, can you see anything weird about this map?" Acapella wandered over to Diamond's side and peered at the monitor.

"Yeah," she said, after a moment of staring at the image in concentration. "It's monitoring life signs inside the ship in the background. Every time their positions change it updates the map with the new locations for a split second."

"Oh. So every time either of us moves a little it flashes like that?" Diamond asked, trying to catch the dots the next time they updated.

"No," Acapella said. "There's a tolerance of about twenty feet. There's another sign moving around, pretty quickly at that." Diamond looked at her incredulously.

"How the hay do you know there's a tolerance of twenty feet?" Acapella shrugged.

"I was stuck on one of these things from here to Derse once," she said. "I got bored." Diamond shook her head in despair.

"OK, whatever. Where's this other life sign, then?"

"Let's see," Acapella said. "We're... here, in the bridge, which makes them... somewhere around the engine room, I think. Judging by the way they've been moving, if I had to guess I would guess they're heading here."

"I've got a bad feeling about that," Diamond said. "Didn't we leave Spike on guard duty?" She paused. "Or, is it Spike running to warn us something?"

"They're coming from the wrong direction," Acapella said. "Most likely they got in through the giant hole in the side of the ship."

"Oh. Right. I knew that," Diamond said. Acapella grinned smugly.

"Oh Diamond. You're my best friend and everything, but sometimes you can be really slow."

***

"It's funny, I guess," Luna said quietly, as she stood alone high above the plains of the Land of Joy and Frogs. "We've all changed so much." No one answered, mainly because everyone else was either absent or dead. "I never thought I'd be asked to drag my sister's corpse to a strange planet and throw her onto a stone slab." She paused. "I never thought that I'd accept such an order without really questioning it."

Celestia said nothing to comfort her, for reasons previously discussed. Lately, Luna had been given too many opportunities to think about her life. It was starting to get depressing, to be frank. This was the closest thing Celestia was ever likely to get to a funeral. The fact that, at the end of the funeral, she would come back to life did nothing to lighten the mood. In any case, Luna was painfully aware that three of her friends had died so far, two of them irreversibly. Still, at least she still had Celestia and Star Swirl to rely on. This, obviously, led her thoughts rather neatly onto the rather poignant absence of a childhood friend by her side. Honestly, that idiot. You'd have thought that he would make the effort to be with her at a time like this. For all he might like to think of himself as being chivalrous and noble, Star Swirl really wasn't all that reliable when it mattered.

Which wasn't really fair of her, she knew. This wasn't really a funeral. Just a standard routine resurrection. It wasn't as if she needed moral support, but... surely Star Swirl should have considered that this was hard for her? Luna didn't quite know why it got under her skin that Star Swirl hadn't noticed something that, in all honesty, she didn't really understand herself, but it did.

Before she knew it, Luna had already opened her laptop. Some part of her thought it was rather disrespectful to do that kind of thing at a funeral, and said so, but the rest of her promptly told it to shut the fuck up this wasn't even a proper funeral.

[midnightEclipse began pestering amniomorphicWizard]

ME: Hey.

AW: Oh, hey Luna.

ME: Are you busy, or can we talk?

AW: Not really, no. Twilight's busy doing something with about fifty of herselves in the other room, so I've just been waiting around.

ME: ...

ME: Swirly. Read that back to yourself.

AW: Huh?

AW: Oh, wait, no, I didn't mean it like that!

ME: Like what, Swirly? I never said anything.

AW: Uh. Well, that's true, but...

ME: Oh no, go on; tell me exactly what you thought I meant.

ME: I'm interested to see where your mind takes you when you think about fifty Twilight Sparkles in a room together.

AW: ... have I done something to offend you?

ME: I sincerely hope that you haven't. For Twilight's sake, as much as yours.

AW: Can we talk about something else now!?

ME: Like what?

AW: I don't know. What are you doing?

ME: Trying to distract myself from thinking about my dead sister.

ME: Thanks for bringing that up.

AW: Ah. Sorry.

ME: That was the worst way you could have possibly apologised.

ME: This whole conversation has been very disappointing, Swirly.

ME: I hope you realise that you're going to have to make this up to me.

AW: Uh, OK. As long as that doesn't involve gratuitous amounts of pain.

ME: I'm not promising anything.

AW: Why did you want to talk to me, anyway?

ME: Because all my other friends are dead. Or evil.

AW: Well, it's sweet of you to remember that I'm here.

ME: <3

AW: I really feel like that shouldn't make me feel better.

ME: So, it does make you feel better?

AW: A little bit.

ME: Swirly. This conversation was meant to be me messing with you.

ME: I can't do that if you're adorable.

AW: Please don't call me adorable.

ME: Cute?

AW: No.

ME: Sweet?

AW: No.

ME: Moe?

AW: I think you're missing the basic point here.

ME: What do you want me to call you?

AW: Why do you need to call me anything?

ME: That's a good point,.

ME: Maybe I should just stop calling you stuff, .

ME: What do you think, ?

AW: ... fine, I get it.

ME: Anyway, Celestia's ascending now.

ME: I'll head down to Skaia and meet her.

AW: OK, bye.

ME: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[midnightEclipse ceased pestering amniomorphicWizard]

Briefly, Luna pondered whether that last comment had been too much. After all, she knew what Star Swirl was like. It would be just like him to take that message the wrong way. That would be irritating and stupid if he took it the wrong way. She shrugged to herself. What was going to happen, would happen. A quick hoof to the face could quickly resolve any misunderstanding, if it came to it. Captchaloguing her laptop, she watched the last few moments of Celestia's ascension before taking off towards Skaia, where the Mage of Space had finally arisen.

***

[midnightEclipse ceased pestering amniomorphicWizard]

Star Swirl spent the next few minutes wondering how to take that last comment from Luna, before eventually discarding that trail of thought entirely. It was most likely exactly what it seemed - a joke intended to get him to do something stupid. Luna was entirely too good at getting him to do something stupid, after all.

"Twilight? Are you done?" Star Swirl called, listening for any hint of recognition from the room where Twilight had taken refuge. It happened to be the same room that contained all of Comet's alchemy equipment. To be perfectly honest, Star Swirl had all but forgotten that there was alchemy in the game. To be perfectly honest, it had been a long time since he had thought of this mess as a game.

"Almost," One of the Twilight Sparkles said, poking a tired head out of the doorway. "As experiments go, this one was neither advisable nor even remotely possible, but I think I've got it now."

"What were you even doing?" Star Swirl asked. Twilight shrugged.

"Hacking," she stated.

***

"OK, let's not start panicking here," Diamond said calmly. "We've got the upper hand, since we know they're coming. We have the element of surprise. We've got this so under control. We could not be more likely to succeed. We're fine. We-"

"Diamond," Acapella said, turning back from the monitor to glare at her friend. "Shut the hell up and let me concentrate."

"Oh, right. Sorry," Diamond said, returning her focus to the doorway through which their unknown intruder would soon make his or her appearance.

"I give them about two minutes," Acapella said gravely.

***

Mild Darkness was irritated. No, he wasn't, he was outright furious. How dare Silver - Silver, of all ponies - betray him like this? Who did she think she was? There was no doubt left about what had happened. He was now thoroughly out of the loop. This was a problem. And solving problems was not one of his strong points, as should be abundantly clear by now.

By chance, he had stumbled across an abandoned warship on Skaia's surface, and the beginnings of a plan had started to take shape. Whether or not it would work, he wouldn't know until he made it to the bridge. Still, he had no doubt that it would. There was no way the idiots that were still alive could think of his brilliant plan by themselves. It was just a matter of timing, and he would be out of this session in no time. He continued down the corridor, the distance to the bridge quickly decreasing.

***

"Not even a minute left," Acapella said, stepping away from the computer. "I'll get into position too." So saying, she stood next to the wall, cane at the ready, as the echoing sound of hoofsteps became audible as their intruder rushed down the corridor to meet them.

"Acapella," Diamond began, stopping as Acapella threw her a glare. "sorry," she whispered, concentrating once again on the doorway. For some reason, this suspense was scaring her even more than any of the terrible things they had already been through. She gulped.

Suddenly the intruder reached the entrance to the bridge, and the pony rushed through the doorway into the room. Instinctively, Acapella jabbed forwards with her cane, stabbing the stranger in the side and causing him to collapse onto the ground, a jet of blood exploding out of his body in an unexpectedly graphic fashion. The two remaining ponies stood in shock for a few moments, a mixture of confusion and relief rushing through them. And then Diamond came to her senses, and the truth of the sigh finally sunk in. She blinked, staring in disbelief at the pony Acapella had just ruthlessly murdered.

"Oh," she managed. "Oh... oh fuck."

***

"Damn it!" Mild cried, turning away from the monitor in disgust. The ship he had found was in complete disrepair. Which he supposed was to be expected after the devastating meteor shower it had endured. It did mean, however, that his brilliant plan was going to take a little longer to put into motion. Perhaps there were more warships somewhere on Skaia - but if he was being honest, he didn't know for certain whether it would be needed. Discord and Silver were going to smash through the barriers before him, so it wasn't necessarily the case that he would need even a fraction of the firepower to follow after them.

He sighed, before leaving the empty bridge and starting back the way he had entered. It was getting difficult to ignore the growing sense that he had already messed up to the point where he was already doomed. Even attempting to change his fate seemed pointless and childish. Maybe it would be better if he just-

No. He wasn't going to give up just yet. He had come a long way over the last few days by being pointless and childish, and he wasn't about to stop when the end was so near. He was going to chase after Silver and Discord, and get to their treasure before them. And then they would pay for betraying him. Oh yes. It was going to be the most delicious revenge in the history of revenge.

***

"Hey Luna," Celestia said happily as the Witch landed on Skaia next to her sister. "Thanks for that. I owe you one." Luna shrugged.

"Don't mention it," she said. "Twilight's the one you need to thank. She let you use our last bed of Space."

"Why?" Celestia blinked. "Which session are we in?" Luna stopped.

"Oh. Right. Sorry, a lot's happened." She looked away. "I... kind of forgot you wouldn't know about any of the stuff that's been going on, so-"

"Let me just stop you there," Celestia said, waving a hoof and warping space so that it came to rest squarely on Luna's head. "You... 'forgot' that I was dead? You FORGOT that I was DEAD!?"

"Calm down," Luna said soothingly. "Let's not make a big deal out of this-"

"Oh, I apologise," Celestia said dramatically. "I apologise for making a big deal out of the fact that my own sister forgot I was dead!" In spite of herself, she did appear to calm down. "So Who's died since I left?" Luna thought for a moment.

"Quite a few, I should think. I mean, in this session we've got you, me, Acapella, Diamond Heart, Swirly and Twilight." She paused. "Anyone left is either dead, evil, or otherwise missing."

"Damn," Celestia said after a pause. "I leave you ponies alone for a few hours and look what happens." She shook her head. "So, Comet's dead? I didn't expect that." Luna looked away. "... Luna?"

"It's nothing," Luna said. "Nothing at all." A sudden flash of light appeared behind them, and they turned to find Twilight and Star Swirl smiling triumphantly. "Oh look, it's Swirly and Sparkles."

"Hey Celestia," Twilight said. "How are you?" Celestia shrugged.

"I'm not too bad, I suppose." She grinned. "Hey, uh. Thanks for letting Luna save me." Twilight nodded.

"It's fine. We needed you to be God Tier anyway, even if you hadn't died." She retrieved the fruits of her labour from her sylladex - a large round monopony board that Luna recognised all too well.

"Is that-"

"A Paradox Gate," Twilight confirmed. "Very expensive, but I don't think there's anything else we need to make. And we definitely needed to make this for what comes next."

"What comes next, meaning..." Luna said slowly, the truth beginning to dawn on her. "You don't mean we're going to-"

"We're going to chase after Discord," Twilight said. "We're going to the centre of the Paradox Loop." At the heart of the Gate in her hooves, the dice span thoughtfully inside its popamatic prison.

***

"... what should we do?" Acapella asked, finally breaking the silence that had fallen onto the bridge. Both she and Diamond were simply staring in complete shock at the dead pony on the floor next to them. The shock was as much for who it was rather than simply because they had accidentally killed an ally. After all, wasn't Comet supposed to be dead in a different session, as opposed to being dead in this one?

"I think we should start panicking," Diamond suggested helpfully. "You can't beat a good panic."

"I think you need to stop panicking quite so much," Acapella said. "It's not like-" she paused, as Comet's body began glowing in a very distracting manner. "Uh. What's he doing?"

"Glowing," Diamond stated helpfully. They watched in grim fascination as the dead pony was lifted to his feet, his stab wound sealing itself and a thin red cape appearing draped around his neck. Whether they had been hidden before, or whether the blood had distracted them, Comet now quite clearly possessed a pair of teal wings. Suddenly, realisation dawned on the two ponies, as Comet slowly opened his eyes.

"Oh, so he's-" Acapella began, before being cut off by Diamond.

"God Tier," Diamond finished helpfully, earning her a light jab from Acapella's cane. "What was that for?"

"Stop being so helpful," Acapella said. She and Diamond turned their attention back to Comet, who was now inspecting his blood-stained surroundings with interest.

"Note to self," he said. "Never sneak up on Acapella."

***

[CURRENT fractalAbomination began responding to memo FIX EVERYTHING]

CFA: oh my gog why did no one tell me that was going to happen

[FUTURE fractalAbomination began responding to memo FIX EVERYTHING]

FFA: because it was funny

CFA: no it wasn't

FFA: yes it was

FFA: give it a while

FFA: when it's past you getting stabbed you'll think it's hilarious

CFA: urgh

CFA: the worst part about this is that i'm pretty sure i knew acapella was going to stab me at some point

CFA: i remember skimming over this in the past

CFA: not really paying attention

CFA: gog damn it

FFA: man

FFA: you didn't need to tell me any of that

FFA: i already know

FFA: there is seriously no point to you even saying anything in this conversation

FFA: because i already know all of your opinions

FFA: i had the same opinions, once, when i was you. then i grew up and realised how stupid they were

CFA: well if you're going to be like that

CFA: why don't we all agree that from now on the only person who uses this memo is the me who is furthest ahead

FFA: well, the me who's furthest ahead is busy right now

FFA: so as the most senior example of myself who is currently present

FFA: i'm in charge

CFA: i didn't even want to talk to you

FFA: what the hell does that mean. who else would you talk to

FFA: this memo is exclusively for me

CFA: you know what?

CFA: i'm going to go talk to my friends instead

FFA: you mean, the friends that just stabbed you, right?

CFA: yeah. because even those friends are so much better than i am

FFA: ok, sure

CFA: ... can i ask a question

FFA: yes

CFA: does twilight ever...

CFA: you know

FFA: no, she doesn't

CFA: oh. ok

FFA: what did you expect

CFA: i don't know. maybe i thought that future me could have finally sorted out all the issues between us

FFA: listen to yourself. this is you you're talking about. how the hell could you have sorted out all of the issues between you and twilight

CFA: urgh

FFA: besides, i never even bothered trying

FFA: because one time i asked me in the future, and he was all 'nah, she never forgives you'

CFA: ...

CFA: oh my gog

CFA: we are the most retarded pony in the whole of paradox space, aren't we

FFA: yeah

FFA: i can see why she hates me so much

FFA: to be honest, i...

FFA: oh, sorry man, i gtg

FFA: shit be getting real

CFA: again?

FFA: you know it

FFA: later

CFA: wait

[FUTURE fractalAbomination stopped responding to memo FIX EVERYTHING]

CFA: ... damn it

***END OF INTERMISSION 3***

And so the intermission comes to a close, rather mimicking my lifespan as Ember Glow's warhammer finally completes its journey through the insufferably thick treacle of time-wasting intermission bullshit and connects solidly with

Chapter 38

View Online

A/N: Seems like I was too late, after all. I should have seen that coming. I should have seen a lot of things coming.

"Ow..." I whisper, as I barely manage to remain conscious. I seriously doubt I have the energy to open my eyes, so I refrain from trying. I don't need to look to know how serious my condition is. I'm going to die.

A/N: "Shut up. You're not dying."

"Heh. Yes, I am, and you know I am," I say, smiling sadly at the sound of my friend's voice. It would seem my special guest has finally arrived. "It was your idea."

A/N: "That's... that's not fair. I didn't mean for it to be like this."

"What did you mean, then?" I don't really mind, I suppose. It was fun while it lasted. "It doesn't matter. What are you going to do now?"

A/N: "What kind of question is that? What can I do now?"

"Don't be like that. My death doesn't really change anything, you know."

A/N: "Bullshit it doesn't. But I was thinking more of 'what do I do about the three batshit crazy ponies in my study', to be honest."

"That's your problem now," I say, smiling again as I feel myself slipping away. "Just make sure you live through this, OK?" After everything, I would prefer it if my death wasn't for nothing. "I'd like to know that your plan works."

A/N: "I'm sorry. For everything."

"It's OK," I say with my last few breaths, "you... you tried."

A/N: And with that, it seems my narrator has died. I pause for a few moments and gather my thoughts.

"... What do I do now?" It begins to dawn on me, that everything I just did may have been a colossal waste of time.

Chapter 39

View Online

A/N: Right then. First things first, there's a small matter to take care of, in the form of three homicidal ponies who have taken control of the study. This might be a problem if they were capable of seeing you, but luckily there are only three entities within the narrative scope of this story capable of viewing both the story and the audience. And one of them, a close friend of mine, has just died.

But don't worry, I'm holding up just fine, thanks for asking.

Regardless, this is still a bit of a problem. Luckily there is a solution, a backup plan which was badly hinted at some time ago. I will venture once more into the depths of the Infinite Hotel, but for the time being I am afraid that - although you will be quite safe - I must leave the narration in the rather malicious hands of perhaps my greatest foe, besides deadlines and Lunatic-mode Utsuho Reiuji. Sorry about that.

"What's" this, "?". I ask, "poking experimentally" at the odd type-writer "like device, lying on the"

table. Looks

"like it's a type-writer," Silver says, "approaching the table to"

, inspect the machine "." Move over, let me have a look at it. I do so, and

***

I look carefully at the machine that Golden was looking at. It is clearly some kind of type-writer, although there is a multitude of strange devices attached to it that suggest it is something far more significant.

"Well, I can't really see what it - huh. That's interesting." I pause, peering at the machine intently. Several keys pressed by themselves while I was speaking, updating the text printed on the page. I read the last few lines over quickly.

"Well, I can't really see what it - huh. That's-

I tear my vision away from the page, my head beginning to ache as the entire room seems to spin. Whatever this type-writer machine is, it is clearly very powerful and not to be trifled with.

"Ow..." I manage, and Golden looks over from another piece of curious machinery in my general direction.

"What is it?" he asks, returning with a renewed interest in the type-writer.

"N-nothing," I say quickly. "Just... it looks like the type-writer's kind of powerful. We should probably leave it be." He looks at me incredulously.

"Let me see that," he says, brushing away my concerns and peering at the type-writer.

***

It "takes a while to get used to"

reading, the text. Eventually I "figure out what this machine is, and how big a deal this discovery really is."

"Silver," I say excitedly. "We've done it

." We've fucking done it.

"Done what?" Silver "asks me curiously". "What even is that". Thing? It hurts my
"head to look at it." I nod.

"Neither of us," are very good at using it. "You're not strong enough to handle the paradoxes, and it just picks up on"

"every little thing you think about." Whereas, I'm not rational enough.
You can't. Make. "Good storytelling" without a plan. Or proper "grammar".

"But whoever cared about that?" I grin, and Silver looks at me with concern. "I'll be the pilot of this story from now on. You just sit at the type-

"writer and listen to me, it'll handle all the " rest. You and me are going to make "storytelling history, and become fanfiction famous."

"You didn't know you could be fanfiction famous, did you Silver". She shakes her head, and I laugh." me neither. I don't even know what i'm talking about; just sit at the type-writer already."

***

"OK," I say, unsure of where this is going. I sit at the type-writer, although I am careful not to glance at the text which is spouting from the machine. "I still don't really get what's happening."

"Let me explain," Golden says happily, clearly incredibly thrilled about his discovery, whatever it is. "Or rather, let me demonstrate just what that type-writer can do. As you may have guessed, it records everything said or thought or experienced by the writer, which is currently you. While we're in this room, it just writes down what happens. In here, it's 'protected', so to speak. But outside..." he pauses his explanation to cackle evilly. "Let me tell you a story." The mood seems to change, and I find myself suddenly drawn to his words as he begins to talk. "One day, there was a flock of geese loose in the Infinite Hotel. They were very lost and lonely, but eventually they found their way to a door, behind which you and I are currently sitting. One of the geese, who was braver than all the other geese, knocked on the door."

At this, there was a sudden knocking sound from the way we had entered, causing Golden to grin even wider.

"Ember, could you get the door?" he asks the silent Prince of Space, who had been quietly standing in the corner this whole time. Ember nods, and then makes his way over to the large grey door. Opening it, a group of large white birds are waiting outside rather patiently.

"But sadly," Golden says, resuming his story, "it turned out that the geese were actually just cardboard cut-outs." Without anything really changing, it suddenly occurred to me that the geese were completely still. They were, as Golden had said, cardboard cut-outs, and I suddenly found myself questioning whether they had ever been anything more. "Do you get it yet?" He asks, unable to keep the glee from his voice. "While we're here, while you're sitting at that type-writer, the world we live in... is ours. All of it. We can do whatever we want. If we want something to happen, we just say it. It happens. If it gets written by that type-writer, then it's done. Happened. I believe the technical term is 'canon'. The three of us now have access to the narrative to the whole of reality, in the form of this type-writer."

"So," I say slowly, unsure whether to feel ecstatic or incredibly anxious about this revelation. "What happens next?"

"What do cannons do?" Golden asks. "Explode. Destroy things. Smash well-laid foundations into a thousand million fragments that in no way relate or resemble each other." He glanced down at the type-writer, which seemed to have taken on an almost god-like aura of respect since its nature had been revealed. "And with this... this reality canon, we are going to destroy absolutely everything. And then rebuild the universe we want in its place." Holy fuck, I think to myself. Have we won? Golden glances over my shoulder at the page. "Why yes," he says happily. "Yes we have. But first, let's have ourselves a little fun." Tearing off the page from an earlier portion, he reads over the pre-existing manuscript with increasing glee. "Oh yes, oh, very good... Right then. Sit down, everypony, and let me tell you a story." He sits back in a large armchair and smiles widely. "Act 4..."

***ACT 4***

"So as I was saying," Mild Darkness said, bringing his speech to a close - which was just as well, since the patience of the assembled ponies was running somewhat thin. Many of them, most notably Comet and Twilight, were keen to return to their scheduled program of brutally murdering their arch-nemesis. And then Mild, if there was time remaining. "I'm a stupid dumbfuck who should just stay at home and cry," Mild finished. There was an awkward silence.

"Huh?" Comet blinked. "Was that what you were saying?"

"I don't think that's what it was at all," Acapella said thoughtfully. "Although I feel much more in agreement with this new direction."

"No no no, wait a minute," Mild said hurriedly, "what's going on. Why did I just say that?"

"... you tell us," Comet said. "Otherwise, in response to your plan, I think we have to respectfully decline. But feel free to come back and try again once you've thought it through some more, preferably in between killing yourself repeatedly."

"You seem rather tense, Comet," Diamond noted.

"I do, don't I," Comet said. "That's odd. I don't really feel very tense. In fact I feel like I was just about to tell Mild that I agree with him completely." He frowned. "Or was I? You know, I'm really not sure now."

"What the hell are you idiots talking about?" Celestia asked. "All I know is that every moment we spend here wasting time, we're not chasing after Golden and Silver. It doesn’t matter if Mild tags along, let's just shut up and waste time playing basketball." She blinked. "Uh. I mean what?" It slowly began to dawn on everypony that they really needed to chill out and play basketball.

"Guys," Star Swirl said, a confused look on his face, "Is it me or is something really strange going on?" Everypony was in agreement that there absolutely wasn't anything strange going on. Not anything.

"I feel like I disagree," Luna disagreed. She paused. "But I don't know why, and that makes me agree that something strange is definitely going on."

"OK, what the hell is wrong with everyone," Twilight asked angrily. "You're all talking oddly." The Mage of Time seemed very agitated, and it occurred to everypony - particularly Comet - that she was clearly feeling very hormonal and could do with a nice cup of tea.

"What." Comet shook his head furiously. "What the hell. I don't think like that. That would never happen. Get the fuck out of my head."

"Who are you talking to now?" Twilight asked. It seemed immediately obvious to everyone that Comet had gone crazy and should be ignored.

"The bastard who's screwing my head up," Comet said. "Everyone else is getting it too, right? Feeling like thoughts are being shoved into your heads?" Everyone remained silent because they were ignoring him. "Guys?"

"I agree," Acapella said, despite the fact that she was ignoring him. Maybe everyone should ignore her too since she must also be crazy. "Something's not right here." The other ponies mumbled their agreement, which they shouldn't really do since we already established that no one believed Comet that something strange was happening.

"OK, let's all just-" Star Swirl began, before stopping mid-sentence because no one gives a fuck what Star Swirl has to say. Everypony is going to do exactly what the narration damn well tells them to do and so help me I will spontaneously combust anyone who even thinks of stepping out of line do I make myself absolutely fucking clear on this!??

Ahem. Silver, I think we could do with a quick intermission.

***ACT 4 ACT 1 INTERMISSION***

"It doesn't look like we have complete control," Golden says irritably as he reads over the printout from the reality canon. Clearly, as much as he is able to influence events, things are happening by themselves at the same time. I try not to think too hard about this. Golden sighs dramatically, summoning a cup of tea from somewhere and sipping it thoughtfully. "We can't push the main players too far out of their usual direction without some kind of justification for it." He sits in thought for a moment. "Hm... interesting. What we need is a new threat to throw at them, either to suitably alter their priorities or to just kill them outright. Ember, any ideas?" The Prince looks up at the mention of his name, pausing for a moment to think.

"I might have a few ideas," he says, smiling in a way that makes me desperately want to punch him.

***

"Huh," Luna said, shaking the weariness from her eyes. "I suddenly feel a whole lot better."

"Yeah, me too," Celestia agreed. She turned back to Mild. "So anyway, to summarise, we're all going to join forces because you've finally realised that the one thing you really can't stand is karma getting one over you."

"Pretty much," Mild admitted. "All I know is that unless someone does something, all of reality is going to be at the hands of Silver and Discord. Mostly Discord." He scowled. "And I don't particularly want to let anyone who isn't me take over all of reality."

"Well then, all aboard the idiot-mobile," Comet said cheerily. "Let's all hop on the boat and head over to... wherever it is that we're going. Does anyone have any objections?" He waited for a few minutes. "Good. Now, can we finally get going? It feels like we've been sitting around talking about what we're going to do for the last month. With three heroes of time you'd think we'd be able to speed things up a little." He shrugged. "Well, it doesn't really matter. Let's get this show on the road."

"Fine with me," Twilight said. "But, I feel like I should ask. What are we planning to do once we get there? Can we really stop Discord, especially when he has the King with him? I mean, that thing has more prototyping’s than anything we've ever seen, powerful enough to break through the barrier to the centre of the Paradox Loop. Can we really stand against something like that?" The others fell silent.

"Of course you can't," Ember said smugly, materialising out of thin air in front of the group of startled ponies. His cape fluttered dramatically in the wind, and the light seemed to catch his warhammer at just the right angles to look as epic as possible. This was, in fact, because it was catching it at just the right angles, which was entirely Ember's doing. "No chance at all. But if it makes you feel any better, you're not going to live long enough to worry about that."

"Ember?" Acapella gasped in surprise, as everypony took a few cautious steps backwards. "Aren't you supposed to be removed from existence?"

"Nice to see you too," Ember said joylessly. "Honestly, now that I think about it, I don't know why I was ever counted in our group of 'friends'." He shook his head. "Hey Comet, listen up."

"What is it, moron?" Comet asked sourly. He had managed, through a series of highly contrived lucky gaps in the plot, been able to navigate his way from the brink of a dying session and returned triumphant. What the hell had Ember done to survive this? It rather lowered the standards needed to be able to survive a Scratch, which made the whole thing rather less impressive. And that was irritating.

"I am not a moron!" Ember roared, swinging his warhammer into Skaia with a deafening crunch, sending huge chunks of rock flying into the air. Ponies and large sections of chessboard were sent flying in all directions. Luna, flying into the wind which was pushing everything away from the enraged Prince, quickly dodged around the smaller boulders while Voiding any impending collisions.

"Ember!" She yelled into the wind, desperately trying to figure out what the hell was going on. "What's gotten into you? We're on the same side!"

"Not any more, we're not," Ember said, cleaving great gaps in the fabric of space around the two ponies.

"Why not?" Luna asked, a sense of dread filling her. "What happened?" A gap in space opened behind her, and she turned quickly to find herself staring straight into Ember's fierce expression. "... Ember?"

"Shut up," Ember said quietly, swinging his warhammer towards her. Luna didn't even attempt to dodge it - against a Prince of Space such activities were futile. Instead, she once again tried to perform her Voidy thing, causing the hammer to pass straight through her. Unfazed, Ember continued his swing, bending space so that the hammer once against approached Luna from the other side. Quickly spinning around, she barely managed to block the second swing. In a similar manner, the third, fourth, and fifth swings barely failed to connect. Luna was a God, and it wasn't as if she was becoming tired from exerting her powers. Ember, on the other hand, seemed only to be gaining energy as the fight continued, as his swings grew more powerful and closer together. Almost immediately after missing a swing, the path of the hammer was twisted so that it was once again heading towards Luna. To an independent four-dimensional observer, the space around the two ponies would appear as a great twisting trail that doubled back on itself in impossible ways, like an infinitely long ouroboros of hammery doom. This would have no doubt continued for some time, except that it suddenly occurred to Ember to release his hold on the space-time surrounding the two ponies. Space reverted to its normal state, the various paradoxes resolved themselves in tiny puffs of logic, and Luna was spun into a disoriented heap, towards which Ember's warhammer was now flying on its final, true path.

"Bugger," Luna said, just before everything went dark.

***

"She'll just get back up again in a few minutes," I point out, trying to bring some order to the celebration Golden has broken into. "That wasn't very Heroic of her." Golden pauses.

"Hm. You're right. What we need is something really really important that they have to protect, so that being killed by Ember while defending it counts as Heroic." He falls into silence, while I run the idea through my head.

"You have a lot of faith in Ember," I say. Golden nods.

"Of course. He's one of those that doesn't want much out of life, but will get deadly serious if you try and mess with what little he does care about. And in this case, we've managed to turn all of his anger from Fluttershy dying onto Twilight and her merry little gang." He laughs quietly. "Which is fair enough, actually. It certainly wasn't our fault that her dream self was killed so quickly."

"Even so," I say, deciding that it's not worth the effort to wonder about Ember's trustworthiness just yet. "What are we going to do? What could they be protecting that all of them will care enough about to fight to the death for?" Golden suddenly jumps up, grinning widely and practically buzzing with excitement.

"I've got it!" He cries with glee, clapping his hands together and dancing around the room. I wait patiently for a while, before he calms down and faces me with a serious expression. "Get the King and tell him to head back to the session. We're going to have ourselves a little Reckoning of our own..."

***

"Urgh... that hurt," Luna complained, picking herself off what appeared to be the ground. After coming to her senses she was no longer convinced it really was the ground, because much of the ground had now been sent flying through the air in large slabs, one of which was currently carrying Luna very quickly back towards the rest of the ground. Head first. "Oh come on," Luna protested, before falling silent as she was crushed into Skaia with a horrifying crunching noise. Meanwhile, Ember was slowly picking off the rest of the ponies.

"Damn it," Comet said through gritted teeth, appearing briefly to knock Ember over the head with his Encyclopaedia before vanishing once again. He reappeared a few moments later to do the same thing, only this time he had several cuts from later on in the fight. "I really hate people like you. Idiots, who can't do anything as well as anyone else, yet keep struggling on and just refuse to give up. That's what really annoys me about you."

"I can't do anything as well as anyone else?" Ember asked, carving a large ravine into Skaia just as Comet materialised, causing him to fall down in surprise into the chasm below. "Try doing that." In response, Comet spun in mid-air to regain control, flying back up towards the top of the ravine. Equipping his almanac and furiously chanting the words within, he focused his entire Timey thing onto the rock beneath Ember's feet. In a few nanoseconds, entire eras flew by, countless millennia of erosion and decay cut down to the time it took Ember to blink in surprise, before finding himself thrown into the chasm in much the same manner as Comet had been moments before.

Comet collapsed onto the ground, utterly drained by the exercise. Using his powers for something as inefficient as that was remarkably stupid, and he wondered whose idea it had been to try it. Oh right, Ember's. He made a half-hearted attempt to get to his feet, before collapsing again. He was going to feel this in the morning. The ground around him cracked and splintered as Ember suddenly materialised next to him, carrying all his momentum into the solid rock. He stood in silence for a few moments.

"I hope that was worth it," he said quietly, his warhammer beginning to arc through the air towards Comet. This wasn't Heroic either, Comet reasoned, but it was still going to hurt like a bitch.

And then, quite unexpectedly, Twilight and Star Swirl suddenly appeared next to Ember.

"Love Sign - MASTER SPARK!" They yelled in unison, shooting an enormous laser of brilliant light in a manner similar to the technique carried out earlier. Mild, who was some distance away, watched as the laser smashed into Ember, knocking him away and engulfing him in a blaze of light and heat.

"Oh, not that again," he said quietly.

***

"He's on his way," I say, as I return from speaking with the King. "But he's not happy about this. It wasn't what you said it would be."

"I know," Golden admits. "But that can't be helped. Once we've defeated those irritating ponies and there isn't anything left to interfere, we can take as long as we want to bring whatever we want into existence. I've been thinking, and I think I know what the problem was with our initial approach."

"You said, didn't you?" I ask. "You said we can't force them to do something that's just completely unlike them."

"Not within reason," Golden points out. "The thing is, you can't break their personality, but you can change it. The longer running, the deeper buried an idea is, the stronger and more difficult to defeat it becomes. As things begin to move in a certain direction, it becomes harder and harder for the people involved to deviate from the plan. So if we want to gain control, we have a couple of options. One, we kill them and start afresh with new ponies who are easier to manipulate. Two, we slowly and painfully wear them down until they come around to our way of thinking, through the complex and delicate introduction of new elements and relationships."

"I like the sound of option one," I say.

"Yes," Golden muses. "So do I."

***

"Ember?" Acapella stepped forwards bravely, kneeling down to the Prince of Space as he began to wake up. The spark had torn up much of his clothing, although the only remaining damage to Ember was a few burns and cuts. More than being damaged by the laser, he seemed to have simply lost the will to give a shit. "Are you OK?" She blinked in surprise as she noticed a few small tears appearing on the edge of his eyes.

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore," Ember said slowly. "I was just minding my own business in my house, playing games. I had work the next day, but it wasn't going to be too bad. I only had to keep it up for a few more months and then I'd probably have gotten promoted, and then I'd have been sitting pretty. I didn't want much more than that, you know. Not much more. Why am I even here?"

"Ember..." Acapella looked away. She couldn't answer that question, because she had already tried to answer it for herself many times. This game had never been something she'd wanted to play, just a way to kill time for a few hours. She hadn't realised what she was getting herself into. "... stop. Please, just stop. We're all the same, you know. We're all hurting, and tired, and missing the life we'll never see again. I don't-" she paused, collecting her thoughts before she began crying as well. "I don't want to die here. I... I want to believe that I can get out. Not home, not now, but somewhere where the sky is blue and the trees are green and no one wants to drop a fucking meteor on me. I just... want to go somewhere safe. I have to believe that I can get there."

"She's right," Diamond said, approaching the two ponies. The others were a way behind them, debating what their next move should be. "If we just turn to killing each other ceaselessly now, then what will that achieve? We need to move on, to find a way out. And the only way we'll manage to do that is if we work together." She smiled. "Having another Hero of Space couldn't hurt, you know." Ember held her gaze for a few minutes, and then closed his eyes, smiling peacefully.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

That was when the meteor hit.

***END OF ACT 4 ACT 1 INTERMISSION***

"What the hell is it this time?" Celestia roared, as she deposited the entire group of ponies a safe distance away from the impact which had just obliterated a tenth of the Battlefield. "I've had just about enough of this. Who the hell thinks they can just throw a meteor at me and get away with it?"

"Oh... wait, I think I can see something..." Luna said, peering through the smoke which had been thrown up by the explosion. "I... oh shit. Guys? What do we do?" The smoke drew away, revealing what the meteor had actually been. A towering, gigantic black carapace loomed above them, entirely too many prototyping’s bristling their various teeth, scales, and flashing lights at the hapless ponies. The King had arrived. It seemed to everypony that the answer to Luna's question was, quite simply, nothing. There was nothing they could do to stop the King. He was the second most powerful being in the Paradox Loop. Nothing they could do would ever hope to stand up to its-

"Urgh, I'm getting that voice in my head again," Mild complained. "Anyone else?" They all murmured their agreement, despite disagreeing completely.

"I feel fine," Ember said. "Leave it to me." With that, he took off towards the King, the others protesting and chasing after him. Wait, what? Why is Ember- hey Silver, let me just have a quick look at what's been happening.

...

Oh you are fucking kidding me. No. Just, just no. Stop it. Ember, stop it. Ember suddenly felt a great and powerful urge to sit down and cry like the little triple-crossing bitch he really is.

"Like hell!" Ember yelled, warping space to neatly catch the first of the King's attacks. Even so, as he held the fabric of space open for the King's fist to fly into, he could feel the sheer heat and power emanating from the attack. It would be a struggle even to remain close to the King, let alone deal enough damage with his hammer to actually begin to overpower him. In fact he felt like just giving up because of how underpowered he clearly was. "Shut the hell up!" Ember yelled again, swinging his warhammer with all of his strength into the King's shoulder. Absolutely nothing happened, as expected. I don't think we've really established just how powerful this King is. "AAAARGH!" Ember cried. Something did happen, actually. Ember, in his rush to deal as much damage as possible to something he cannot hope to shatter with his flimsy warhammer, has managed to dislocate his shoulder. Way to go, champ.

"Ember!" Celestia called, quickly teleporting him out of the way before the King managed to stab him with one of his sword-wielding arms. "Honestly, we're not going to beat this thing head on. We need some kind of plan." She turned back to Comet and Twilight, who were deliberating furiously. "Any ideas, you two?"

"Yeah," Twilight said angrily. "I think that Mr Don't mess with the timeline because that's bad except when I do it then it's perfectly OK over here needs to shut the hell up and let me think straight!"

"Well I think," Comet retorted, "that Little Miss No shut up I'm the chosen one so I get to be the one who does the super special plan all by myself over here needs a bit of perspective on our current situation. We do not have time for her to be indulging in her little princess fantasies by coming up with stupid unworkable plans!"

"... guys? None of what you're saying really seems to fit the mood," Celestia said. "In fact I kind of hoped you'd be able to pull it together and be a bit friendlier with each other while we're trying to save all of our lives." Comet and Twilight both paused, and blinked.

"... what were we doing?" Comet asked. Twilight shook her head.

"I don't know. It feels kind of like when we had thoughts put into our head, except I could have sworn I thought them." Of course it did, that's because you two hate each other so much! Come on, this is perfectly in-character! Get back to arguing right this minute!

"Urgh, whatever, this isn't helping," Comet said. "Friends? For now, at least?" Twilight nodded. Oh for crying out loud, I really despair with these ponies sometimes, I really do.

"Great," Celestia said happily. "Let me know if you get anywhere. For now..." she turned her attention back to the King. "Swirly? Luna? Let's do this."

***END OF ACT 4 ACT 1***

"Well, they're still rebelling a lot," Golden says. "Still, we have our incredibly powerful King to back us up here. I don't think they have enough power or intelligence to defeat it." He smiled thinly. "And even if they did, we can distract them sufficiently so that they'll die as planned." He pauses, noticing my worried expression. "What's wrong?"

"I just worry," I say. "Suppose they defeat the King. Actually, suppose they don't. Suppose they just manage to get away from him. If they manage to begin travelling to the Hotel... they have Ember with them now. He knows where we are." Golden freezes on the spot.

"Hm. That's true enough," he says, a brief moment of panic quickly fading. "But let us suppose that they do manage to reach us. What happens then? We all have a big showdown?" His face darkens, and for the first time in a while I remember that he really is someone to be feared. "I don't care if they have the power to kill that King. If they think for one moment that they can defeat me... then I will show them the true meaning of fear."

***

A/N: Ha... I... made it... finally. That shouldn't have taken so long, but I'm terribly out of shape. That's just what I get for sitting around all day watching anime instead of going for long morning runs in the park with two amusingly small dogs, like all proper authors do. Regardless, I have managed to make it to this back room through the longest route possible - avoiding any spots where Discord may have been able to see me. I can't very well let myself get killed at this stage, after all.

The room I am in is small and dark, a couple of monitors flickering away brightly in the corner. In the centre of the room is a large metal cylinder with many complicated sciencey bits stuck on at odd and exciting angles. This machine was briefly mentioned earlier, but now it is with great satisfaction that I am able to spring the trap which has been completely forgotten about for the last thirty chapters I mean carefully concealed. Everything is proceeding within acceptable parameters. I activate the primary de-phasing mechanism, which to the untrained eye involved pushing the big red button which is very handily labelled with 'DO NOT PUSH'. This is handy because both of my eyes are untrained. The machine lights up in a billion different colours (this is not true, actually, because there are only 6 colours which make any difference in the long run) and begins making all sorts of fascinating yet irrelevant noises. Finally, it becomes silent, the lights all switch off, and the front of the cylinder rises.

My Narrator is dead, my cast is shattered, there's a damn-near omnipotent Heir of Rage in my study, yet I am not afraid. For I have one final trick up my sleeve, one final kick in this shins for my nemesis. The ultimate technique, the 10th level spell, the Noble Phantasm of all authors. I can only hope that somewhere, somehow, I can atone for the literary sin I have just committed. For now, it is time.

As the smoke clears, and the figure within the cylinder appears before me, I know it is time.

Time, to let the God out of the machine.

"Hi!” Pinkie Pie says, grinning madly.

Chapter 40

View Online

"This is bad, isn't it?" I ask, while Golden sips his tea thoughtfully. "I mean, now that Ember's on their side..." I pause as he holds up a paw.

"It would be bad, yes, except for two important factors." He smiles at me unnervingly. "One, we have a reality canon. It is now an inescapable truth that the King those hapless fools are fighting is more than capable of withstanding their combined power, and then some. They cannot destroy it. Ever. Two, even if Ember manages to find his way back here... I'll kill him." He shrugs as I frown at his confidence. "Come now Silver, don't make that face. I'm more than capable of handling an idiot like Ember should the need arise." He pours himself a fresh cup of tea out of a nearby cloud and lies back into his chair. "Now, let's get on with things, shall we?" He prepares to leap into his story-telling, when both of us jump in surprise as a sharp, polite knocking comes from the entrance to the study.

“…Who’s that?" I ask nervously, to which Golden shrugs. "...Should we answer it?"

"OK, you just sit there a minute," Golden says, rising to his feet and marching cautiously towards the door. Pausing for a few seconds, he reaches towards the handle and throws open the door, revealing a sight that neither of us expected to see. "You... you're..." Golden breathes, his expression frozen in shock. "You're that..."

"Hey! I'm Pinkie Pie!" A bright pink pony, clad in deep blue clothes and wearing a ridiculous hat, smiles at us maniacally. "And I just know," Pinkie adds, equipping a large halberd from her sylladex and narrowing her eyes menacingly, "that the three of us are going to be the best of friends..."

As I look into the eyes of this brilliantly pink party pony, I finally understand what it is to be afraid.

***ACT 4 ACT 2***

"Damn it," Ember complained, as he nursed his injuries pitifully. "How the hell are we meant to kill that thing?"

"I don't suppose you've noticed, Ember," Comet replied immediately, "but this is what is commonly referred to as the 'losing team'. But fear not, for that makes us the underdogs. And the underdogs always triumph!" He paused. "That said, this time I think we may really just be the losing team."

"This is why you and Twilight were meant to come up with a new plan!" Celestia cried in frustration. "Where even is Twilight?"

"She took Diamond and Acapella on a magical mystery tour," Luna said. "Whether or not we have any chance to win, this is our final battle. It made sense to get as many God Tiers as possible." She spared a look at Star Swirl. "...We don't want to lose anyone else."

"Stop worrying about me," Star Swirl protested. "Just because I'm not God Tier doesn't mean I'm automatically going to die." He sighed, looking off into the distance, where the King was making his way towards them. "But really, what are we going to do? None of us have the firepower to stand up to something like him."

"I've been thinking about this for a while now," Mild said, causing everyone to jump back in surprise. Most of them had forgotten about him completely. "And I think the easiest way to make this problem go away is to ignore it. Let's just head to where Silver and Discord have run off to. They've just thrown their trump card away by sending it down here, so we need to take advantage of things by striking them while they're defenceless!"

"I like your plan for its brazen backstabbery and sheer dickishness," Comet nodded approvingly, "But while we're waiting for Twilight, we're going to have to deal with that thing sooner or later. Besides which, we don't actually have a plan for what we're going to do when we reach Discord, do we? Have any of us ever managed to even injure him in a fight before?"

"We've never all faced him at once before," Luna pointed out. "I don't see how he could defeat all of us at once. The numbers are on our side, and he no longer has the element of surprise."

"Sure, OK," Celestia said, teleporting them all several miles away before the King became threateningly close. "How about we wait until it really is just us against those two before we start saying things like that? We can probably keep running away like this indefinitely, but it is a bit of a pain. How long is it going to take for Twilight to kill those two?"

"I wonder," Comet said thoughtfully.

***

"OK, here we are," Twilight announced, as she, Diamond and Acapella stepped into the large chamber in the centre of Acapella's planet. "That took too long to find. Why can't your quest bed be on top of the planet like everyone else?"

"Well, I'm sorry that my planet is so inconvenient for you," Acapella retorted. "Honestly, you'd think it wouldn't take any time at all for a hero of Time to do anything."

"So now it's my fault?" Twilight asked incredulously, stamping her hoof on the ground in frustration. "Get on that bed and let me stab you, already."

"Hey, let's all calm down a little," Diamond said, as Acapella walked calmly over to her quest bed and lay down. "This is just to make all of us stronger, right?"

"Oh, sure," Twilight said, summoning a large, ominous quill from her strife specibus and twirling it around thoughtfully. "No hard feelings." So saying, the quill leapt forwards and stabbed into Acapella, who died instantly in a shower of blood. Its job complete, the quill promptly vanished.

"... well, that's good to hear," Diamond said happily. "So... I guess it's my turn next?"

"Yeah," Twilight agreed. "Your turn next."

***

"If you think you can stop me now, you're even more stupid than you look," Golden says, leaping towards Pinkie Pie armed with several thousand knives. Unphased by the ridiculous scale of the attack, Pinkie simply closes her eyes and steps forwards into the storm, which explodes into a cascade of steel and noise. It ends, and all that remains is Golden and Pinkie, both completely unharmed. "...So you're taking this seriously," Golden says. "That's good. It'd be boring for me if you went down in a couple of-" he breaks off as Pinkie jabs a rifle into his stomach, and is sent flying away from her as she fires. As he struggles to get back onto his feet, she rushes into him and fires several more shots at point blank range, before tossing the rifle away and grabbing a sword from her strife deck. I can only assume that she either has some kind of specibus that allows her to use multiple weapon types, or she simply has many different specibi. I'm not sure which is the most ridiculous.

"If you think you can hurt my friends any more, you're even more stupid than you look," Pinkie says in a voice which is little more than a whisper. A quiet, terrifying whisper. In the face of such cold determination, Gulden’s response seems far more foolish than brave. He laughs.

"So that's what all this is about? All of reality is at stake, and you're fighting because you want to protect your friends?" He and Pinkie are suddenly standing in a large field, swords locked in combat. "How much more selfish can you get?" He lunges towards the Bard, only for her to dodge around him, switch weapons, and launch a missile into his face.

"You don't have any right to say that to me," she says calmly, leaping into the air and swinging her katana down towards Golden, who barely manages to get up in time to block the swing. "You just want to be able to control everything!"

"Is that what I'm after?" Golden asks. Pinkie pauses uncertainly, and is knocked to her feet as Golden seizes the opportunity to strike. "I only ever wanted one thing, you know." The field disappears, and the two are now on a rocky platform in an underground cavern, pits of lava far below them. "A happy ending. That was it." Suddenly possessed by rage, he charges forward, keeping Pinkie off balance as he forces her towards the edge of the platform. "And then it gets taken away. For what reason? For what reason?" With a final strike, he sends her falling into the lava, as she struggles to fly back around to the platform. "Something as stupid as inevitability," Golden mutters, changing their environment once again. This time, I recognise it as being the surface of the Battlefield, untouched by war. "There's nothing I can do to change what happened. It's all just... set in stone, immutable." As he gets to his feet and turns to face his enemy, I begin to feel that, even with all of her tricks and cunning, this is a fight which Pinkie Pie cannot hope to win. "Unless..."

"So now who's being selfish!?" Pinkie cries, the sky suddenly illuminated with lights as a hundred thousand missile launchers go off at once, arcing their way towards the Heir of Rage. "You're just trying to get a happy ending for yourself, without caring what happens to anyone else!"

"I guess," Golden says quietly, as the missiles draw closer and closer. "But now that I have the reality canon, fixing everything that happened to me is just a matter of time. Even if I have to tear apart the entire Universe to make it happen," a flash of light, and suddenly Pinkie and Golden take each other’s places. "There's nothing you or anyone else can do to stop me!" Golden roars, as the missiles complete their journey and collide with the startled Bard. The Battlefield fades away, returning to the study, and Golden collapses on to the chair. "Silver," he says after a few moments, "we've got a lot of work to do." I nod, but freeze as Golden is sent flying by hundreds of thousands of bullets. We both turn and stare at their source, gasping in surprise to see Pinkie Pie holding a machine gun.

"Even so," she says, panting from exhaustion, "even so, I can't let you destroy everything..." Tossing the machine gun aside, she grabs another large halberd. "I absolutely can't let that happen!"

***

"So," Acapella said as the newly risen Witch of Blood came to rest on the surface of the Battlefield. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing much," Mild replied calmly. "Celestia was getting bored of teleporting us all over the place, so Comet went to slow the King down." He yawned. "That was a couple of hours ago on our end, so I guess the King's been walking this way for a couple of weeks. Sucks to be him, I guess."

"Isn't that really weak and cowardly of us?" Acapella asked.

"Oh, yeah, definitely. But what can you do?" Mild said. "None of us can even scratch that thing. Only Ember's tried it, but if even that didn't work then there's definitely nothing we can do." He sighed dramatically. "I guess no matter what I do, I always end up on the losing team." He paused as he saw Acapella eyeing him curiously. "...What?"

"I was just thinking that maybe it's your fault," Acapella said brightly. "Like some kind of bad luck charm. So maybe if we killed you, or tricked Discord into taking you back, you'd bring bad luck to their side and we'd win?" She kept her composure for a full minute before breaking into fits of laughter. "Oh, you should have seen your face," she said happily. "Priceless. Absolutely priceless."

"You're welcome," Mild said glumly, turning his attention to the slowly approaching King.

"... hey, Mild?"

"What." He was not in the mood for joking around, and made it painfully obvious to Acapella by treating her to a glare utterly devoid of any emotion whatsoever.

"I... I'm glad you're back on our side," Acapella said quietly. "Summer and Destiny are dead, but... but everyone else is still with us now. Uh, except for Silver, but since we have Diamond..." she trailed off. "So... thanks, I guess."

"Why are you thanking me? I'm only here because I got kicked out of their team and there's no way I could kill all you idiots by myself," Mild said coldly. "Do me a favour and don't try to be my friend." To his annoyance, Acapella walked over to him and patted his head condescendingly.

"You're not evil, Mild," she said. "Just a bit stupid sometimes."

"Thanks," Mild said grumpily.

***

"You're sure you're OK with this?" Twilight asked one more time, as Diamond sat down on her quest bed.

"Why are you asking me if I'm OK with it?" Diamond asked. "You just stabbed Acapella without thinking about it."

"That was different. You haven't been annoying me," Twilight said. "Besides... uh... this is kind of hard to ask, but..."

"What?" Twilight looked away sheepishly.

"What happens to Silver if you ascend?" Twilight eventually asked. Silence passed for a few moments. "When we ascend, our dream selves and our real selves combine. But in your case... you have one real body, but two dream selves. One of which is Silver."

"... well, nothing will happen," Diamond said confidently. "That or she'll just vanish. This would be one less problem to worry about. So there's no problem, right?" She paused. "... Twilight?"

"Yeah, I'm sure that's right," Twilight said brightly. "It's not really my place to worry about it, I guess. This is a personal matter, after all." Diamond shrugged.

"Whatever, let's just get this over with." With that, she lay down and closed her eyes, waiting for what she hoped would be a quick and painless death.

***

"I'm telling you, it was nothing like that!" Acapella protested as she and Luna marched in one direction while Celestia carted Mild off in the other. "We were just talking!"

"That's great," Luna said loudly. "Just do it in private from now on."

"Are you even listening to me!?" Acapella shouted, glancing around to make absolutely sure that Comet hadn't noticed what was happening. She'd never hear the end of it if he had. "There is absolutely nothing going on, and frankly I feel disgusted that you would even suggest something like that."

"Sure, sure," Luna soothed unhelpfully. "Don't you worry about it. In any case, we have bigger problems than that. I assume that Mild told you about how Comet was sent to stall the King?"

"Yes," Acapella said, suddenly pausing and glancing back to where Comet was standing. "Uh... shouldn't he be doing that now?" Luna sighed.

"Uh, yeah, funny story about that. Turns out the King is learning. I don't know what stupid prototyping is doing it, but he's learnt to negate the effects of Comet's Timey thing. So he's back up to full speed. So, instead, Ember and Celestia are going to try and trap him in some kind of Spacey thing." Luna paused for effect. "Of course, if it learns how to break through that, we're going to have to go back to running... or stand and fight."

"But we don't stand a chance," Acapella said. "Not that it matters for most of us since we're God Tier, but... even so."

"You're right, we don't stand a chance," Luna agreed. "But the more we fight, the stronger we become. And because we don't stay dead for long, the current strategy is throwing ourselves at the King over and over again to get as much experience and climb as many tiers as possible."

"So we're just going to get killed over and over again so that we're in better shape to fight Discord?" Acapella asked, to which Luna nodded. "Well then, nothing to worry about, right?"

***ACT 4 ACT 2 INTERMISSION***

In another Universe, in another age, two princesses sat in silence. It was a warm summer's night, and the troubles of a distant Sburb session were of no concern to the two winged and horned earth ponies. Well, maybe that wasn't entirely true.

"I had another nightmare last night," Luna said. "As ridiculous as it sounds." Celestia spared a look of concern at her sister, before turning her attention back to her Sudoku. "You know, where I keep remembering what happened in those last few hours?"

"Yes," Celestia said. "You've told me many times. And the extent to which I care about it decreases every single time." Scribbling out a mistake in annoyance, she looked up at her sister again. "How many times do I need to tell you? Stop dwelling on the past. It doesn't help anypony. All it does is hurt you."

"I know that," Luna said. "I just... just..." she trailed off, but that was fine since Celestia knew exactly what she wanted to say.

"It's fine," Celestia said. "It's fine, and it's perfectly understandable. But you have to move on, or you'll never be able to forgive yourself." A few minutes of silence followed.

"...It wasn't just that, this time," Luna said eventually. "I... I dreamed about what would happen to us, here and now, if... if we failed all those years ago."

"What?" Celestia frowned in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"What if," Luna pressed, "What if there's no guarantee that something will happen just because it happened in the past? What would happen to us?" Celestia pretended to think for a moment.

"Don't know, or care," she offered. "Does it matter? We can't do anything here anyway. Worst case scenario, we all get wiped from existence without enough time to say 'oh bugger'." It almost made Luna laugh to hear her sister talk in such an unrefined manner, but that was how she was whenever they discussed their past. "Luna, stop worrying. It won't do you any good, or change anything. We just have to have faith."

"I know," Luna said. "I do have faith."

"Well then," Celestia smiled. "Nothing to worry about, eh?"

***END OF ACT 4 ACT 2 INTERMISSION***

"Heh... not bad..." Golden pants, after narrowly avoiding a flurry of attacks. "But don't think for a minute that you've gained the upper hand here."

"Hm?" Pinkie's eyes narrow, and a thin smile appears on her face. "If I didn't know better, Discord, I'd think you were getting confident." She takes a step forward, axe in hoof. "But of course, you understand that I'm not just any old God Tier pony, don't you?"

"Is that so?"

"You know that I'm a Bard of Void," Pinkie says, taking another step towards the Heir. "You know that I'm leagues and bounds beyond anyone else on my side. That's why you've been fighting so hard against me." Now it is Golden who smiles, much more widely and menacingly than Pinkie Pie.

"Oh? Have I really been fighting that hard? I suppose you must have me up against the ropes. In which case..." For the first time in the entire fight, Golden retrieves his weapon from his strife deck rather than conjuring a weapon with magic. "Allow me to show you what happens when I get serious."

***

You have advanced one (1) God Tier! You achieve the title of 'Nostalgia Drive' and receive a microwave, a Fiat Bravo, and a lifetime supply of scones!

"I have to wonder," Comet said as he narrowly dodged his 42nd death and the ground behind him exploded, "just how useful these extra tiers really are."

"Quit complaining," Acapella shouted over the noise of the battle. "My last tier just gave me the ability to sound exactly like Cliff Richards."

"Who the fuck is Cliff Richards?" Comet shouted back. If Acapella had an answer for him, he didn't hear it, which was mainly because he was occupied with having his 42nd death.

"I'm also a bit concerned that this isn't achieving anything," Luna said. "We've been going all out against this guy for ages and nothing's happened yet. I don't think the Universe is even bothering to check if we're doing any damage."

"Stop overreacting," Celestia said, as a single giant fist crushed her into the ground, killing her instantly.

"Will do," Luna said a few minutes later as her sister picked herself up from the crater she had been left in. "Why don't you do something Spacey already?" Celestia nodded bitterly, warping space around the King and teleporting him a fair distance downward, trapping his legs inside the Battlefield. Meanwhile, a cry rang out simultaneously from Comet on one side of the King and Star Swirl on the other.

"Loving Heart - Double Spark!!" They cried in unison, as two giant laser beams bombarded the King from opposite directions. The King roared, although it was difficult to tell if this was due to pain, frustration, or whether he was simply yawning. As the two Heroes of Time collapsed, the King slammed his many fists into the ground and shattered the surface of the Battlefield, allowing him to tear his legs out of their rocky prison and stand up once more. To Luna's eyes, it seemed as if the edge of one of his many thousands of decorative spikes was beginning to wear away a little, but it could have been the way the light was hitting it.

"You've got to be kidding me," Luna sighed dramatically. "This is just too much. Far, far too much."

"I suppose it's only fair, really," Celestia said. "Most of us are immortal. We can keep going forever if we need to, so to counter that the King is so powerful that unless we keep going forever we're never going to beat him."

"Stop justifying this," Luna said. "We don't have forever to do this. We need to stop Discord and Silver right now." Celestia shrugged.

"Can't do anything until Twilight gets back, so we may as well keep fighting."

"Won't that just tire us out unnecessarily," Luna asked as she unleashed a volley of arrows into the King from impossible directions. "And isn't that exactly what Discord wants?"

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't," Celestia said. "What else would you have us do?"

"I just don't think we should be fighting when it might not even be necessary," Luna said, her eyes quickly darting to the side to check on Star Swirl. "...You know."

"You're worried that the longer we fight, the more chance there is of someone screwing up and Star Swirl getting killed permanently as a result," Celestia summarised. Luna paused, and then nodded slowly. "Isn't he meant to be the one worrying about you?"

"I can die and come back again. He's the one who's most at risk."

"You know he wouldn't want to be a liability to you like this," Celestia pointed out. "He cares about you enough for that. He'll fight to the death if he's doing it to save you." Luna gave her an odd look.

"Is it me or are you becoming more mature and rational over the course of this adventure?" She asked. Celestia winked.

"Well, who knows? What's important is that we get this mess cleared up, so you two can go back to being cute together," Celestia said, smiling evilly as Luna's face turned bright red. "Is that OK with you, sis?"

"...Fine," Luna said. At that moment, the two ponies were reminded of the situation as both of them were crushed instantly with one large mace, highlighting the dangers associated with shipping during critical moments.

***

"Twilight? I'm still here. Swing the damn quill already," Diamond complained, opening her eyes and looking up at the winged unicorn in front of her.

"I just... I feel like this is something that we really shouldn't do," Twilight said nervously, unable to look Diamond in the eyes. "We don't really know what we're doing..."

"It's fine," Diamond said confidently. "Now kill me already." Twilight nodded, but made no attempt to murder her friend. "... Twilight?"

"What is Silver, to you?" Twilight asked. Diamond paused, a little taken aback by the question.

"Uh... how do you mean? She's me. Only with different interests. And different eye colour. And a different special talent but the same cutie mark. And..." Diamond thought about what she was trying to say. "I guess I've always known her, despite having never really talked to her. I mean, we lived together. Or, rather, we took in turns living the same life."

"What about the other Silver?" Twilight asked. "Silver Heart?"

"That Silver is..." Diamond looked away. "She's someone I look up to, and someone I respect, of course. I kind of wish I could be more proactive like she was. Why are you asking, anyway?"

"I was just trying to think, who is more like Silver Heart out of you and Silver," Twilight said. "You're Silver Heart's post-scratch version. Or pre-scratch. It doesn't really matter because those are the same thing in our case." Diamond nodded. "Whereas... what could Silver Edge be?"

"I think she's a splinter of the original," Diamond said. "The only reason Silver Edge exists is because Silver Heart wanted to come back in the new Universe that she was creating." She had thought about this before, and it had made her very depressed. "But all she's doing is helping Discord to destroy it. Silver Heart would never do something like that."

"You're missing the key point," Twilight pointed out. "She's doing it with Discord. In one way or another, those two are still together like this."

"Are they?" Diamond asked. "I don't think Silver Edge is really anything more than a shadow of who Silver Heart is. I'm sure she's nice enough once you get to know her, but... I feel like neither me nor her are exactly who Silver Heart was. Neither of us can be who she was."

"I thought about that much by myself," Twilight admitted. "But that leads me onto what I'm worrying about, which would be... suppose that, if you ascended, both of you combined together? What would happen then?"

"I'd go back to having a split personality, I guess," Diamond said.

"Or, your personalities would fuse?" Twilight suggested. "Maybe... maybe together you'd be who Silver Heart was?"

"...So that's what you're worrying about," Diamond realised. "Huh. Stop worrying about it, is my advice. If that happens then you're just trading me in for another ally while removing an enemy. There's nothing to worry about. Not that I think that'll happen, and I would be against it if I did."

"I just wonder if you'd be an ally," Twilight said. "... but you're right, nothing's going to come of worrying about it." She prepared her quill once more. "One last time... are you sure about this?" Diamond nodded without hesitation.

"Just do it," Diamond Heart said, before closing her eyes for the last time.

***

"You idiot... you think this... ah... this can... make me give..." Even if she was trying to kill Golden, and even if I would probably have been next, I am unable to harbour any grudge against Pinkie Pie as I listen to her pitifully denying her defeat. "This... argh... I can't..."

Pinkie Pie struggles to hold onto what remains of her consciousness, even her boundless energy seemingly spent by the battle. Golden stands over her, still gripping onto one of the many swords that stab into every inch of Pinkie's body. He has been silent for a long time. I wonder what he could be thinking about, and what to make of what he said during their battle. All he wanted was a happy ending with the pony he cared about. Not me, of course, but Silver Heart. The real Silver. I wonder if even his power can bring her back from the Scratched session. And I wonder, if he is unable to save her, what he will do next. Am I going to be a last resort, or a target for his anger at inevitability? Frankly I don't know which I would prefer. But, looking at the silent Heir brooding over his victory, I feel that I want to help him achieve his goal. Just as I think that I should say something to him, he speaks up.

"Silver," he says, and I snap to attention. "I've got a new idea." With that ominous statement, he releases his grip on the sword and walks over to me, and the table on which the typewriter and an assortment of other devices exist. "This canon doesn't work how we thought," he muses, picking it up and walking around the room with it. "Despite the apparent cannon pun, it's not a weapon for affecting reality."

"Then what is it?" I ask quietly, a strange feeling of dread passing over me. "What are you going to do?"

"It's not a weapon for affecting reality; it's just a concrete record of what happens to reality. You could say that it reflects the state of reality itself." He laughs joylessly. "Honestly, all this time we've wasted when the answer is so easy."

"Don't..." Pinkie manages, causing myself and Golden to both stare at her in shock. The party pony has risen to her feet, and is slowly stumbling towards us with sheer willpower, the swords vanishing away into nothing. "You don't understand... ah, what you're dealing with... you think you know what'll happen?" She almost laughs, but her face freezes as she gasps in pain, clutching at her ribs with one hoof. "You don't know anything. If you... you do that... you might not live to regret it... but it'll still hurt like hell."

"Noted," Golden says, clearly uninterested in continuing this game any further. "Anyway. As I was saying," he releases the type writer with both hands, letting it clatter to the floor, as he equips his most powerful axe and smiles grimly. "Oops," he says, unable to hold back the sheer joy in his expression as Pinkie attempts to charge forwards before collapsing pathetically onto the ground next to me. "I think my hand's slipping," he says smugly, as he swings his axe down onto the type writer with all his might, cleaving it into

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

qwETJSDfsjodafw£R£32l'r34;'t';l';l';'''''''''''''''''''''''' pi
eces.

OH FU "£$%$SDzsSQQ
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

"Now... now you've really gone and done it."

***END OF ACT 4 ACT 2***

Chapter 41

View Online

***ACT 4 ACT 3***

This is a world that has ended. Nothing is born; nothing dies. Even time does not exist. There is a pony in a world like this. She lives alone in a world that has ended. The pony who lives in a vacant, unmoving world. The pony's life is a lonely one. No one over than her exists. This is a given, since nothing is born and nothing dies. That's the kind of world this is.

The pony has made a body out of metal and scrap that she has found while wandering this lonely world. It is a body made to be her friend. Her only friend, in this vast and lonely world. All she needs is for a soul to wish to be with her in that vast, empty world.

One day, the wish was made, and her friend was born into this empty, dead world. Because it was made of scrap, it could not speak to the pony, but she still cared for it. Her friend was happy to be in the world, with the pony, but it had memories of another world. A better world where there were many more friends. It believed that it, too, had once been a pony. A pink pony who had many friends in the other world.

Maybe, it thought, maybe one day it could go back to that world with its new friend, and take her away from this lonely, empty world.

***

"Diamond," Silver said, taking her place at one end of the vast stadium that the two ponies found themselves in.

"Silver," Diamond replied, as the two ponies stood opposite each other. On each of their legs was a strange device on which a small deck of cards was balanced. Neither of them knew how or why, but they both knew exactly what it was. They also knew exactly what they were here to do. "I suppose you know what happened for us to end up here?"

"Golden did something crazy without thinking," Silver said dismissively. "As a result, everything's a bit messed up." She smiled. "Right before he did that, you died on your quest bed, right?"

"Yeah." Diamond sighed. "And now the outcome of that will be decided, will it?"

"Who knows if that's what this is about," Silver said, rising up and magically lifting five cards from the top of her deck. "Either way, you know what time it is, don't you?" Diamond nodded, grinning.

"Duel!"

***

"Remind me why we're doing this, again," Kyon said in a bored voice, while Summer charged ahead, Mikuru in tow.

"Because," she began to explain, although none of her friends expected to be any wiser by the end of her explanation. "I have a feeling that we should."

"Ah, I see," Kyon nodded sagely. "Now it all makes sense."

"Quiet," Summer said.

"Ugyuu~" Mikuru whimpered, as Summer dragged her along by her hoof. In the distance, something beckoned to her.

***

"Say, do you know what a railgun is?" The mysterious pony with the short brown mane asked, as she took a few steps towards Comet.

"I have a feeling I'm not going to like it," he said in the manner of one who is already resigned to his fate. "Ever since I came to this city it seems like I've had nothing but bad luck." It was true, almost immediately after finding himself in this strange place fill with giant skyscrapers and wind turbines, he had run into misfortune after misfortune. He had no idea where he had been before, but it felt like it was important. Not that it had mattered to anyone he had tried explaining this to. After finally escaping from an angry mob by running all the way out to the large bridge where he now found himself, he had thought that perhaps he could catch his breath at last. That had been when this short tempered unicorn had made an appearance. Comet had no idea who she was, but it was clear that she hated him passionately for one reason or another.

"The idea behind it is the same as a linear motor train. It's a weapon that uses powerful electromagnets to fire a metal projectile, and is usually used on warships..." From somewhere, the pony brought out a small metal coin, which was odd since she wasn't wearing anything that it could have been kept in. The word 'sylladex' drifted through Comet's mind, but nothing came of it and it promptly vanished again. He was much more concerned with what was happening in front of him. As the unicorn flipped the coin into the air, visible arcs of electricity gathered around her, her mane flicking violently in response to the small storm she was creating. "It refers to something rather like this."

With that, the coin fell in front of her, and was instantly sent careering towards Comet with a bright orange light that tore a visible trail through the air itself, narrowly missing his head and forming a large gash in the surface of the road a fair distance behind him.

"With something as small as a coin it just melts away after 50 metres due to friction. It would have more range with something larger, but this is plenty for now." She smiled widely, baring her teeth menacingly.

"I don't know what I've done to upset you," Comet said carefully, now thoroughly terrified of the filly that was at least two years younger than him. "But I'm really not sure what's going on. I don't even know where I am. I have to-" Another shot from the railgun silenced him, this time burying itself into the bridge at his feet.

"Are you thinking I'm not very good at aiming my railgun?" The pony said smugly. "Or that you're getting lucky? Just for your information, I have an accuracy of 18.9mm. Don't even think for a minute that the next shot is going anywhere other than your heart."

"Why are you so angry with me!?" Comet shouted, starting to get annoyed with her attitude. "I've never even met you before!"

"Man, you're annoying," she said, flipping another coin into the air despite Comet's continued protests. "My name's Misaka, by the way. Misaka Mikoto. I thought you should at least know my name, since you're going to die now." With that, she fired again, sending a small arcade coin racing towards Comet at three times the speed of sound.

That was when Comet did his Timey thing. The passage of time around the railgun began to slow, even as the coin drew closer and closer to Comet impossibly quickly. Even slower, until it was at a standstill, the coin mere inches from his face. And then, the railgun began to run backwards, accelerating away from him quicker and quicker, before he relinquished his influence and allowed the projectile to continue straight towards a startled Mikoto. She lashed out again with her electricity, and the entire structure of the bridge itself twisted and buckled towards her, forming a shield into which the railgun exploded.

Emerging from the smoke coughing and bruised, Mikoto stared at Comet in confusion and fear, while the Page of Time smiled thinly. That was right; he was the Page of Time. And he wasn't meant to be here, wherever that was. He had to get back to everyone else. First, though...

"Well, Misaka Mikoto, I guess you could say that was either misfortune or you're just unlucky..." He stepped forwards, and even that was enough to make Mikoto jump back in fear. "But this really isn't your lucky day."

***

Neither pony could explain how they knew the rules to this strange game, or why they felt the need to act in such an overly dramatic fashion, but that hardly seemed an important detail at that point.

"Legendary Six Samurai - Kizan, attack her monster!" Diamond yelled, as the magical projection of her playing card leapt forwards towards the card which Silver had left face down. A second before the attack connected, Diamond could have sworn that Silver was smiling, but by that point it was too late. Diamond cried out, as her own life force seemed to lessen. A small box appeared next to her displaying 4000, which quickly decreased to 3800, as Silver's face-down monster was revealed to be a Venom Cobra. "Damn it..." Diamond swore, while her monster returned to her side. There was no sense attacking with her other monster, because it was also too weak to defeat the cobra.

"Are you quite finished?" Silver asked, drawing another card gleefully. "I activate Venom Swamp!" As she placed the card onto the device on her arm, the stadium they were in disappeared, to be replaced with a dim, murky swamp. Nightmarish horrors slithered just outside of Diamond's field of vision, and a hazy mist blurred the field. "At the end of each turn, every monster besides 'Venom' monsters gain a counter which reduces their attack by 500," Silver announced smugly. "Now, I summon Venom Serpent!" A large green snake appeared, with a small message alongside it that identified its 1000 attack points. "I activate Venom Serpent's effect, and place one venom counter onto Kizan." Then, one of her set cards flipped over. "Now I active Ultimate Offering, paying 500 life points to sacrifice Venom Cobra, to summon Venom Boa!" An enormous blue snake appeared, although for its size it only had 1600 attack points. "And I use its effect to place two more counters onto Kizan, although it's unable to attack if I do so."

"Damn it again," Diamond said as Kizan's attack decreased to 300. "But at least-" she cut off, as Silver ended her turn. Another counter was placed onto her monster, whose attack reached 0, and she sighed in despair as Kizan fell into the swamp and was destroyed. "Damn it, damn it, damn it."

"What's wrong?" Silver called mockingly. "It's your move."

***

"What do you want?" The voice went ignored, as Twilight was still struggling to take in the sight before her eyes. "And how did you get in here? The gate was locked."

"So... so many..." Twilight breathed, unable to take in everything at once. "There are so many books!" The mare in front of her coughed, and Twilight jumped back as she noticed her for the first time. She had a long purple mane, and was wearing a purple cap adorned with moons and stars.

"Well, there would be. This is a library, you know," the mare sighed. "A private library, at that. Please leave, before I call the maid." She picked up a small card inscribed with runes. "Or I may just deal with you myself." It occurred to Twilight that she really ought to be figuring out where she was and what was going on. What had she been doing before this?

"Uh, wait a minute! I'm... I'm not really sure what's happening here..." she looked around for any indication of what was happening. "How did I get here?"

"That's what I want to know. Honestly, I don't know why we even have a guard if she just lets anyone waltz in as if they own the place," shaking her head, the mare's expression became serious. "I'm sure you can find out everything you need to know. Somewhere else. So kindly remove yourself from my library before I do it for you."

"Wait a minute!" Twilight said, racking her brains for anything that might help. "I'm, uh... I'm trying to find the centre of the Paradox Loop!" The mare froze, frowning at the mention of a paradox loop. Catching her breath, Twilight wondered what a Paradox Loop was, and why she wanted to find the centre of it. It seemed very important, for some reason.

"... follow me," the mare said quietly, turning on the spot and marching into the darkness. "By the way," she added, as Twilight clumsily stumbled after her, "My name is Knowledge. Patchouli Knowledge."

***

"Right then, how do you like this?" Diamond asked confidently. She now had three monsters, and had managed to remove the swamp. "I'd say I've finally got the upper hand in this duel."

"Finish your turn before you start getting cocky," Silver said.

"In that case... Legendary Six Samurai - Kizan, attack Venom Boa!" Diamond cried, almost instantly regretting giving Silver the chance to smile evilly.

"I activate my trap," she said happily, "Negate Attack! But it doesn't just end this fight; it also ends the entire battle phase."

"..." Diamond said angrily. "Well, there's still one more thing I can do." She threw down another card. "I activate Six Scrolls of the Samurai, and sacrifice Six Samurai - Nisashi and Legendary Six Samurai - Mizuho to special summon Great Shogun Shien!" Finally, one of her trump cards appeared, with all its 2500 attack points. "Your move, Silver."

***

"Hey, hey, Azu-nyan," Yui whispered loudly, not taking her eyes for a minute off of the strange pony that had suddenly appeared in the club room. "Who's that?"

"I don't know," Azusa replied. "... maybe we should make some tea?" Nodding silently, Yui set about pouring a cup of tea and cutting a slice of cake, without taking her eyes away from the guest for even a moment. Mild Darkness watched this scene from his chair, and sighed wearily.

"Someone kill me now," he moaned.

***

"Hmm...." The young filly peered intently at Twilight, who was beginning to feel rather unnerved. "So she claims to be from a different universe, except she's not entirely sure why, or where it is, or what she was doing there," the filly summarised. "Sounds like a load of rubbish if you ask me. Amusing though it is."

"Did you want to let her know about this?" Patchouli asked, in a way that suggested to Twilight that she didn't want her to know about it, whoever that was.

"Of course I don't," the filly said haughtily. "The last thing I want to do is make her job any easier." She looked Twilight up and down. "Feel free to keep her, if you want. Otherwise just kick her out, I don't care."

"She won't like that, Remi," Patchouli said with a sigh, looking at Twilight with concern. "If... if half of the things she told us is true then we need to get this girl out of here as quickly as possible. The last thing I need is for us to get caught up in another mess."

"Luckily for us, then," the filly said, "almost none of the things that gap hag says are true." She sighed. "Whatever. If you want to tell her about it then that's your call. I don't care about this other universe nonsense." With that, she trotted off, her tiny bat-like wings flapping cutely but pointlessly behind her.

"Uh..." Twilight began, once the curious filly had left the room. "So, what's going on?"

"Just before you came, we had a visitor," Patchouli said, leading Twilight out of the room and through the mansion. "Warning about a couple of nasty gaps opening up that none of us wanted anything to do with. But she can't close them, apparently. This, if it’s true, is very bad news for us."

"Gaps? Gaps in what?"

"Who knows? All that matters is that you're what fell out of it. And if we put you back in then maybe we can get things tidied up neatly, and no one will need to get kicked in the face by a miko hyped up on poverty-fuelled resentment." With that curious remark, Patchouli doubled her pace, with Twilight struggling to keep up after her.

"Is that kind of thing likely to happen?" Twilight asked brightly. Patchouli shot her a glare.

"Oh, yes, that's pretty standard around here."

***

"I don't suppose we're nearly there," Kyon moaned. Summer ignored him. She wasn't entirely sure why these ponies were following her in the first place. She had been minding her own business in the afterlife with Destiny and Applejack when everything had suddenly gone to hell. Or at least, to a high school in Neighpon where she was apparently in charge of a club. It wasn't like she had anything better to do, being dead and all, but something about it struck her as odd.

"Just a little further," she lied. In truth she didn't have a clue why she was dragging everyone around the city with her, but she knew that there was something she had to get to. Behind her, Kyon was muttering with Koizumi.

"Hey, do you know what this is all about?" Koizumi smiled in his condescending way.

"I wouldn't hazard a guess as to what she's thinking. But on the other side of the city, there is a gap between worlds. I believe that she may be attracted towards it, somehow." His face darkened. "My people are working to close it before she gets there, but in theory she should be unable to detect it."

"... in any case, shouldn't we be stopping her?" Kyon asked. "If she doesn't even know why she's going there..."

"No, I don't believe we should," Koizumi said. "If there is some connection between her and the gap, perhaps it would be better for them to be brought together."

"But, if she finds out-"

"Which is why you're here," Koizumi reminded him. "So that she does not find out."

"Great," Kyon said dryly. "Just great."

***

"That thing was a dragon!" The pony who had untied Ember cried, as they and several other ponies huddled inside the tower while cries of fear and the noise of collapsing houses echoed around them. "Just like the stories and the legends!"

"Legends don't burn down villages," another pony said, as he eyed Ember with suspicion. Frankly, Ember could care less what he thought of him. All he was concerned with was exactly what was going on. Where was he, and why were all these ponies he'd never seen before trying to kill him? It made him want to grab his warhammer out of his strife specibus and hit something, if only he could remember what a strife specibus was.
-

"Where is this?" Ember found himself asking, earning him strange looks from the other two ponies. The one who had untied him replied first.

"This is Helgen," he said. "In the south of Skyrim." Ember nodded.

"OK, so... what planet is this? The Land of Dragons and Vikings?" He wasn't sure why, but he had a feeling that all planets were named like that for some reason. The two ponies exchanged worried glances.

"You.. you didn't hurt your head on the way into the tower, did you?"

"No, but I feel like I've forgotten something important," Ember said worriedly. "Kind of like... I was somewhere else, doing something really vital to everything."

"You can think about it after we get out of here," the older of the two ponies said. "Let's go!" Nodding, Ember rushed up the stairs of the tower with the others close behind. Outside, the dragon continued to roar.

***

There was nothing in this place. And yet, the air was malicious, thick and evil. The place where unseen horrors and fears of nothing at all gathered, or so it would seem to those who entered unprepared. In truth, it was difficult to say exactly what made up this world. It could only be reached through high-level spatial manipulation - or by the convenient back door that a certain youkai had left for her servants to use. In the centre of this maelstrom of emptiness sat Celestia, who contemplated the world around her with vague disgust. She wouldn't have minded the atmosphere, had there been anything else to do. But no matter what, she couldn't get away from the feeling that she was being watched. At that moment, a small yellow pony wearing a silly hat approached her.

"Um... we've had word from the mansion," Ran reported astutely. Celestia raised an eyebrow at her entrance, but said nothing. "They've found one of the ponies you warned them about."

"Oh, good," Celestia said, getting to her feet and picking up her parasol. "I was beginning to get bored of waiting. Well, shall we?" A large gap opened in space, and with a quick nod the two ponies leapt through it into the world beyond.

***

"If you finish this next test, I might let you ride an elevator all the way up to the break room, and I'll tell you about the time I saw the deer again." The speakers cut out, and Acapella was once again in quiet, clinical silence. How had this happened, exactly? Things had been going so well, but now she was back again, testing, just like before.

Or was she? She wasn't really certain if she had done any testing before this. It felt like she had been elsewhere, doing something else. But then, it was hard to be certain of anything in here. Her sense of the passage of time was slowed, and there wasn't much she could do to keep track of how many puzzles she had solved already. All she could think to do was to keep going to the next one, until they were all done. Not that they would ever be done.

Sighing wearily, she picked up a nearby weighted storage cube and busily set about her latest challenge.

***

Summer paused uncertainly, staring blankly at the road in front of her without really taking it in. The others stood behind her, more than a little concerned.

"What's she doing now?" Kyon whispered.

"She has found the gap," Koizumi replied. "Whether she is aware of it, I can't say for certain."

"Hmm," Summer murmured thoughtfully, taking another step forwards. She'd had the strangest feeling that coming to this place would bring her back to the others, but there was nothing to be seen. The air in front of her shimmered. She took another step.

"And you're sure we should be just sitting here?" Kyon asked, becoming increasingly agitated. "... Hey, Koizumi!" Another step, and it was too late. The gap, invisible to all of them, opened up as Summer stepped over the boundary, falling through it into a space far beyond. She didn't have time to scream out, as the gap snapped shut behind her. "... uh..."

In front of them, Haruhi stood blinking in confusion. She tilted her head to the side.

"What are you all staring at?"

***

"I don't see why you're dragging me around town with you," Mikoto complained, as she and Comet wandered the streets of Academy City. "I have better things to be doing than helping an idiot like you, you know."

"I never told you to follow me," Comet said bluntly. "Feel free to zap off home, if you like."

"Za- are you making fun of me!?" Mikoto roared, attracting the attention of most of the ponies in the street. "I... I'm one of the most powerful unicorns in the city, you know!"

"Oh, is that so?" Comet said. "Would you care to try again?" His eyes narrowed for a moment, and Mikoto jumped backwards. "Didn't think so."

"Well... anyway! You can't just run off like this! Where are you even going," Mikoto continued as she ran after him, "and why do you have to wear those stupid clothes?" Comet stopped in surprise, looking down at the Page robes he was now wearing.

"I can't afford to forget who I am now that I've remembered," he said. "I don't know what happened, but I need to get back." Pausing and looking around to get his bearings, he spied a large, windowless building in the gap between two skyscrapers. "That place over there looks like a good start," he said, running off towards the building, while Mikoto grumpily ran after him.

"What? You can't just- hey, wait!"

***

"I choose you!" Destiny yelled, throwing her pokéball through the air dramatically. It popped open, and a blazing white light leapt out of the sphere onto the ground. It reformed into a definite shape, and faded away into a solid creature. "I... wait, what?" In front of her, Summer was looking back in surprise.

"Oh hell no," Summer said. "Rejected." Walking over to Destiny, she knocked her on the head. "Come on, we're getting out of here."

"E-what? Hold on just a-" Destiny began, as Summer grabbed her leg and dragged her away. "Where are we going?" Behind her, the trainer she had been battling stood in confusion.

***

"The banana's gone!" Star Swirl cried gleefully as he bounced around the microwave, much to Luna's annoyance. "But... where?" He span on the spot, freezing as he saw the table behind him. The bunch of bananas still sat there, but now the single fruit which had been torn off was reattached, and now made entirely of green jelly. "Aha! You see!?" He glared at Luna meaningfully. She sighed.

"Before you say anything; it's not a time machine. I refuse to believe that."

"Oh come on," Star Swirl pleaded. "What do I have to do to convince you? Do you have any other explanation for all this?" Luna paused, while Star Swirl waited patiently. "... well?"

"Uh, that's, well... hey, where are you going?" Star Swirl was at the entrance to the lab, about to run out of the door. He paused in the hallway and looked back at her dramatically, his long white lab coat fluttering behind him.

"I'm going to buy some more bananas," he announced, before charging out of the FGL, leaving behind a rather dazed Luna and a gel banana.

***

"You once said I could become a really amazing unicorn... was that true?" Fluttershy asked quietly, as Angel hopped up onto the bench next to her.

"That's an understatement," the rabbit said in its usual expressionless tone, its mouth remaining sealed while it stared up at Fluttershy with its unmoving eyes. "You'd become a magical pony of unbelievable power. Probably the strongest in the world."

"If... If I had accepted your offer in the first place," Fluttershy said thoughtfully, "I wonder if Applejack would have become a unicorn..."

"She made her own wish come true," Angel said. "That's got nothing to do with you." The two sat quietly, while Fluttershy recalled the tears in Applejack's eyes. "You know," Angel added, "your power is so great that it might be possible to warp the laws of the Universe itself."

"I thought I had nothing good going for me," Fluttershy said. "I just sat at home with my animals and never spoke to anyone, never being of any use, too scared to do anything. I didn't like it, but I didn't feel like there was anything I could do about it."

"Far from it," Angel said, "you could become an omnipotent god if you wished for it."

"I wonder..." Fluttershy said, "I wonder if I could bring Applejack back to normal."

"I'm sure you could," Angel said. "... Fluttershy, would you offer your own soul for that wish?"

"I..." Fluttershy began, looking down into Angel's impassive eyes. "... I'd do it. I'd become a uni-"

For a moment, time seemed to freeze. An instant later, Rarity stood in front of Fluttershy, while what remained of Angel's limp body - and with it, Fluttershy's last chance to save Applejack - fell to the ground with a soft thud.

***

Clouds were forming over the distant hills. As the small body made of scrap in which Pinkie resided stared out of the window, she knew that soon winter would be coming. The land would grow cold. She turned and looked at the pony that had made it. She would not feel the cold, but her friend would. Pinkie was worried for her. Perhaps they should try to escape before the winter came, she thought. But, there was nothing except the empty hills. Where could they go?

The clouds drew closer.

***

3400-900. That was the score, and Diamond was beginning to feel a little bit confident. Silver was on the ropes now, and she had a couple of powerful monsters.

"So, Silver, it looks like this duel is almost over," Diamond said. Silver laughed.

"Yes, I suppose it is." Her eyes darkened as she drew her next card. "I activate Monster Reborn to revive Venom Boa, and summon Venom Snake!" Her two monsters slithered into view, much to Diamond's disgust. "Now, I pay 500 life points to activate Ultimate Offering. I sacrifice Venom Boa and Venom Snake to summon Vennominon, the King of Poisonous Snakes!" A towering cloaked lizard now appeared, an aura of dread emanating from it as Diamond cowered backwards. A small message popped up next to the creature. 3500 attack.

"Oh blimey," Diamond said. "And things were going so well, as well.

"I now activate my trap card, Torrential Tribute!" Silver cried. "This destroys all monsters on the field." And with that, the stadium suddenly exploded into a raging storm of water that obliterated every monster in its way. "And as a result I can activate Rise of the Snake Deity!" Silver added. "When a 'Vennominon' is destroyed by a card effect I can summon my most powerful monster." As the torrent faded away into nothing, an enormous, monstrous serpent with an almost humanoid upper body and terrifying eyes appeared in front of Diamond. "Vennominaga, the Deity of Poisonous Snakes!" A small message appeared next to Vennominaga as well. 4000 attack. "Vennominaga, attack!"

"I activate Call of the Haunted!" Diamond shouted. "And I special summon Shien's Footsoldier from my graveyard!" A tiny little man holding a spear appeared, only to be instantly destroyed. "When Shien's Footsoldier is destroyed by battle, I can special summon another monster from my deck!"

"Oh, really..." Silver said, rather amused by Diamond's efforts. "It's cute how much you struggle, but you can't win now. For your information, Vennominaga cannot be targeted or affected by spell/trap cards, or monster effects. Furthermore, everytime she inflicts battle damage, I can place one Hyper-Venom counter onto her. If I manage to place three Hyper-Venom counters onto the card, then I automatically win the duel."

"You've got to be kidding me..." Diamond groaned.

"Not in the slightest," Silver replied cheerfully. "And now I end my turn. Good luck, for what it's worth."

Chapter 42

View Online

"Well, she should be here soon," Patchouli sighed. "For now, I suggest you-"

"Twilight!" Spike cried, leaping from behind a bookcase towards Twilight.

"Spike!?" Twilight blinked. When had he left her side? Patchouli watched as the dragon and the mage reunited, before coughing politely.

"How do you know my assistant?" Patchouli asked. Twilight blinked again, before glaring daggers at Spike.

"Is that how it is?" Twilight asked. "We get separated, and you sign up to be the assistant of the first librarian you meet?"

"N-no, that's not it..." Spike sighed. Now that she knew he was safe, Twilight had no problems with making fun of him every chance she got. Luckily, he was spared from any further questioning as a gap opened up in a nearby bookcase.

"... Twilight?" Celestia blinked. She couldn't believe her eyes. Neither, apparently, could Twilight, who leapt towards Celestia with tears in her eyes. "Hey, calm down, no need to get all emotional on me."

"Sorry, I just... I can't believe you're here!" Twilight sighed in relief. Maybe now things could be pieced together a little. "I... do you know where we are?"

"Yeah. This is Gensokyo. It's a different universe to any of the ones you and I have ever been to before." Celestia smiled. "We all got thrown around the place, into different universes like this one. But now that we're together, we have a chance of fixing it."

"Huh?"

"Put simply," Celestia said, warming to her explanation, "all the others are out there, somewhere, falling through gaps just like you and I did. If we can all meet up then I'm sure we can get back to where we need to."

"Even if you say that," Twilight said, "what happened? Why are we all spread out like this? Come to think of it, how do you know about any of that?"

"I'm the Mage of Space, remember," Celestia said happily. "And as the Mage of Time, you should also have some inkling that what I'm saying is true. The instant before we came here, all of space-time was shredded into a billion tiny fragments. Now, as for why that was, I have no idea... but we need to unite everyone again."

"Huh." Twilight shrugged; it didn't really matter whether she understood it or not. "... All of time as well, you say? Does... does that mean-"

"Who knows?" Celestia sighed. "We'll have to wait and see. For now, follow me."

***

Lesser ponies would have taken the better part of a month, or longer, to have finally reached and killed Alduin. Of course, Ember Glow was not a lesser pony. Forsaking such things as food or sleep, he had made it to the top of the mountain and killed the dragon in less than a week. But he felt like there was something missing. He felt like everything would have gone even smoother and quicker if he'd had his warhammer, but no matter what he did he was unable to recall where he'd put it.

Or, for that matter, why he was so intent on using warhammers. Or, for that matter, what Space had to do with anything. He didn't see what relation it had to him, but he had an undeniable feeling that it definitely did have some importance. These, and other concerns, all weighed down on him as he sat alone atop the mountain.

"What do I do now?" he said aloud, to nopony in particular.

"Stand up," a voice behind him said. "Your fight here is done. It's time we went back." Turning, Ember found himself confronted with two ponies he recognised in an instant. Summer Dawn and Destiny. Both of whom were dead. This meant-

"Am I dead?" Ember asked bluntly.

"No. And, for the record, neither are we," Summer said calmly. "I don't know what you idiots did but something's been massively screwed up."

"So... why... huh?"

"We're from a different timeline," Destiny explained. "Or not. We might be from the same one but earlier on. To be honest it doesn't matter since there aren't any timelines anymore."

"The point is," Summer said, "whatever you guys did, a lot of worlds have become fragmented and intersected. Our whole group is scattered all over the place. Some of us are just slotted in alongside the rest of whatever universe we appear in. Some of us actually take the place of someone who used to be there."

"Uh... huh?"

"Ember. Listen to what we're saying," Destiny said patiently. "All of us are lost, spread out around who knows how many different universes and timelines. Summer and I are gathering everyone together so that we can try to find some way of fixing it."

"But... huh?"

"OK, this isn't working," Summer said. "Ember. If you come with us we'll take you to someone big you can smash up."

"Oh. Sure," Ember said, as he equipped his warhammer, relieved to finally be back in his comfort zone.

***

Mikoto had neglected to follow Comet into the windowless building. He couldn't blame her, really. Once he was out of here, this mess would be cleared up as far as he was concerned. She would be left to deal with the consequences. It had probably been for the best that she had bid him farewell before he entered. He just wondered why she had been blushing quite so much the whole time.

Not that it mattered. Popping several decades into the past and then forwards again had deposited him inside the building. That's what he assumed, at least. Being windowless, it wasn't like there was anything to tell him where he was exactly. But none of those things concerned him. All that he was concerned about was the all too familiar figure floating in a vat of liquid in front of him.

"Oh, Comet, so nice of you to visit," Discord said happily. "I knew you were coming, but I'm not really in any position to be making cakes." His smile hardened. "Are you here to try and kill me?"

"Frankly I don't care why you think I'm here," Comet said. "What the hell are you up to?"

"Good, good, straight to the point," Discord said. "What am I up to, indeed. Well, last I knew, I'd broken reality into lots of tiny little bits..." He laughed. "And to think that we ended up in the same portion of what was once a coherent universe... I can't tell if that's coincidence or just terrible misfortune on your part."

"So? What was your plan? It doesn't look like you really benefited from this if you're stuck here as well." Comet briefly wondered where the others were, but dismissed the thought. They could manage by themselves for now. "Don't tell me ending up like this was really your plan all along?"

"Hm... I wonder," Discord said. "You're right, it doesn't seem like the kind of thing I'd go to all this trouble for, does it? If you want to know the truth..." he trailed off. "I got a little ahead of myself. I may have made a small miscalculation on the reality-destroying front."

"You think?" Comet raised a hoof to his head and sighed. "So you're just as helpless as all of us, then? Why can't we fix this?"

"I've no doubt that you can," Discord said. "You idiots always seem to survive my traps. The only way of killing you permanently seems to be fighting you directly. For now, though, it's in my best interest that you sort all this out."

"And how are we supposed to do that?"

"I could care less," Discord shrugged. "Either way, I'll be waiting here until you sort it out."

"Don't just tell me to fix your mess, you idiot. I don't even understand what happened, much less how to actually do anything about it." This was ridiculous. Comet couldn't believe that their archenemy would do something so stupid. Maybe he wasn't everything the stories had made him out to be.

"On that front, we have a few ideas," Twilight said, as she and Celestia appeared behind him, a gap closing behind them. Comet span around, then glanced quickly between Twilight and Discord. He was unsure who he felt safer turning his back on.

"Oh. Hey Twilight." Comet waved slowly at her. "Why are you here? Don't tell me that not even the dissolution of space-time itself is enough to keep you from me?" Twilight coughed politely. "... or, not even the dissolution of space-time itself is enough to save me from you?" From the scowl on Twilight's face, the second option seemed more likely.

"I don't have time for this," Twilight growled, knocking Celestia on the head. "And stop giggling." She shook her head. "Anyway, Comet. We're here to bring you with us. We're running through the gaps and gathering up everypony. And once we do," she glared at Discord, who was watching the scene with mild interest. "We're going to come back here and smash in that crooked face of his."

"You are, are you?" Discord asked. "Interesting. Suppose I cut you down where you stand before you carry on with your recruitment plan. Like it really matters to me whether I get back to that study; being in control of Academy City isn't a bad gig either. You know, you should check out some of the things this guy was doing before I took his place. He's even more messed up than I am."

"We're leaving," Celestia said, a gap opening up behind her. "We're going to sort out what you did to reality, and then we're going to pay you back for it."

"I'd wish you luck," Discord said happily as the three ponies stepped through the gap and into a universe beyond. "But I think you're setting the bar a little high there. No one can repair space-time now. There's no hope."

"True," Celestia said, smiling evilly at Discord. Just as the gap drew shut behind her, she saw Discord's eyes widen at her words. "That being the case, we'll just have to go find some."

***

"I went and spoke with the door mainframe. Let's just say he won't be... well, living anymore."

The voice cut out again as Acapella chuckled joylessly at the comment. The door finally opened and she strode forwards into the next chamber. Or, so she would have done, except a hoof lightly tapped her on the shoulder. She span around.

"Hey," Comet said. "It's been a while."

***

Applejack sat alone in the train station. It was far too late for anyone to come visiting for a while, so the others would have time to find and stop her. No one else needed to get hurt because of her. That was what she kept telling herself, at least. The sound of echoing hoofsteps reached her, as Rainbow Dash finally walked over to her and sat on the bench beside her.

"I finally found you," she breathed, exhausted from her journey. Applejack didn't even turn her head, continuing to stare at the ground. "You know, AJ, you can be really stubborn sometimes."

"Sorry," Applejack said finally, without looking up. "Ah guess y'all have wasted your time for me."

"... what's wrong with you? You're acting strangely," Rainbow said.

"Yeah, Ah guess," Applejack said quietly. "That's because Ah don't really care anymore. About what Ah was doing, or what Ah thought Ah could do. It's all gone now." Rainbow looked at her in concern. Applejack smiled sadly, as she lifted her hooves - beneath them lay the small round gem that was her soul, although it was almost unrecognisably covered in a dark, black colour. Rainbow recoiled at the sight - this was worse than she had expected. "Do you remember when you told me the balance has to be kept between hope and despair?" Applejack asked. "Now Ah see what you meant."

"AJ... you can't-"

"Somepony has to be cursed to balance another's happiness," Applejack said. She lifted her head, tears falling from her eyes as she smiled sadly at Rainbow. "Ah'm... Ah'm really stupid."

With that, a sudden explosion knocked Rainbow backwards in a blast of pure despair, as Applejack collapsed onto the ground in the centre of the vortex, her soul gem lifted above her in the eye of the storm.

"Applejack!" Rainbow yelled, as she grabbed onto a railing and held on for dear life against the raging storm. Was this it? Was this the end?

As if to answer her question, a pony she had never seen before suddenly appeared next to her, leaping off of the railing and flying into the heart of the storm. She was a blue pegasus, although it was a far deeper blue than Rainbow, and was holding a large rifle in one hand. Reaching Applejack, she dragged the farm pony to her feet and shook her awake.

"Yes," Summer Dawn said, hugging her as Applejack's eyes opened sleepily while the storm raged on around them. "You really are." And with that, she did her Lighty thing.

***

Silently, Discord fumed inside the reinforced container in which he gently bobbed around in. Celestia's last remark was still burning away at him. Of course, he should have realised immediately. Little things like being dead or permanently trapped in another universe didn't mean much when the rules had been torn to shreds. There was every possibility - no, it was an absolute certainty - that Silver Heart was somewhere out there.

That was a name he didn't want to think about. Doing so did nothing but remind him exactly what she had thought of him before sacrificing herself. It was also the reason he didn't immediately leap outside to try and find her. What would be the point?

Still, what could they do? Even if things were repaired, he would just kill them and start over. No matter what, no matter how long it took him, he was going to get the ending he wanted.

***

"Huh," Star Swirl said, as he and Luna appeared in a dark, quiet city along with the others. "Nice place."

"Yes, it is a bit horrid, isn't it," Comet said, as he surveyed their surroundings. There were lights all around them, but the entire city seemed to give off an air of pure hatred and isolation. In the clouds above, a storm was brewing.

"It's only natural," Rarity said, as the new arrivals noticed her for the first time. "Given what's fast approaching."

"And what is fast approaching?" Celestia began, but before Rarity could answer she and her friends were suddenly knocked to the ground by an overjoyed Twilight. "Oh, look at that. How cute. She turned to Luna. "Hey, how come we never have teary reunions like that?"

"Maybe it's because neither of us are dead," Luna pointed out, before turning to look at Summer. "I suppose you can clarify what's happening?"

"This city is about to become a battlefield," Summer said. "Some kind of terrible, super-powerful witch is going to appear and kill everyone. These girls were meant to stop it, but frankly I don't see how it's possible. Given what I know, that is."

"Me and Acapella are witches, too," Luna pointed out.

"Yeah, but this is a different universe. Different rules. Here, a witch is more like an entity of pure despair. Just by arriving in the city, thousands of ponies will die," she sighed. "This one is particularly dreadful, too. I don't know much about the mechanics of this universe, but I know enough to be worried when Rarity told me all the stories that she'd gathered about it."

"So... let's get out of here quickly, then," Star Swirl summarised. "No sense in sticking around to save this universe, is there?"

"Ordinarily I would agree," Comet said. "However. Everyone's now gathered except for Diamond, Silver Heart and Pinkie Pie."

"And Mild," Destiny added, but no one heard her.

"I believe that by combining Pinkie's power with Twilight and Celestia's, along with some help from Silver, reality can be sorted out," Comet continued. "The mages of Time and Space should at least be able to influence all the scattered shards. Pinkie can help their power reach through the nothingness between them, and Silver can cross her hooves or something. That usually seems to work."

"OK," Star Swirl agreed, "and all of that means we can't leave because..."

"What'll happen once we leave? We're going to return to where we were? About to be crushed beneath Discord and the King?"

"Don't tell me," Rainbow Dash said, worming her way out of Twilight's hug and walking over to them. "That we're just going to leave things like this?"

"That's not what I meant," Comet said. "All but two of us have assembled now. We're almost at our optimum fighting ability. All of us are Gods except for Swirly, Destiny, Summer and Fluttershy. You three," he gestured at Rainbow, Rarity, and Applejack. "You were powered up to the level of Gods when you accepted Angel's magical suicide pact or whatever it was. You're not literally Gods so you can't do any of your fancy shit like we can, but you're still very powerful. Not sure if that'll last once we get back to the game." He paused. "Come to think of it, I'm not sure if you'll die once we get back to the game."

"What's your point?" Summer asked.

"My point is, it'd be quicker and easier to take care of that," Comet pointed behind them. "While we have the chance." The others turned, staring in shock and awe at the mighty being which was slowly descending upon the city. A colossal figure, whose body seemed to emanate sheer dread.

"Well, there's a surprise," Celestia said, as the King made his appearance.

***

Although the snow was now thick, Pinkie could not feel anything. After all, her body was made out of scrap. She couldn't feel the cold of winter any more than she could feel the warmth of her friend. She knew it was cold, however, because her friend was beginning to become slower. When she slept, she remained asleep for longer and longer.

Maybe, if the world became entirely white, she would fall asleep forever. Then Pinkie would be alone, in this empty world.

And so Pinkie had convinced her friend to help her build something. A machine that could take them to the sky, where they could escape this lonely world and return to a place full of friends and warmth.

She only hoped that they would finish it in time.

***

"Damn it." The chunk of skyscraper hurtling towards Ember fell into a pocket of space and promptly fell into a black hole several billion light years away. "I don't care if it's a witch, or a king, or whatever," he said, as he began his attack, transportalising away the countless lumps of metal and rock that the King was throwing towards him. "I'll kill it no matter how long this takes."

"Your determination is admirable," Twilight said, as a huge boulder instantly aged twenty billion years and collapsed into dust just before hitting her. "But if anypony has any clever ideas it would be much appreciated."

"It's hard to come up with strategies that work against something so unfairly big," Acapella said. "I don't suppose we could challenge it to a game of chance? I mean, we have Summer..."

"That's surprisingly underhanded of you," Summer complimented, as she activated her fraymotif. A hundred million rifles appeared around the King, and began firing a constant barrage into his carapace. "But I don't have enough control over Light at the moment. Maybe if I was God tier it would be a different story."

"Ya still managed to get lucky enough to save me," Applejack pointed out, evoking her Lifey thing to perform the most powerful of all life magic. Very little happened, although the King's shoulders began to steam slightly. "Not that Ah can see how ya could get this thing to agree to something like that. Damn, this thing's tougher than Ah gave it credit for."

"What was it you said, Comet?" Rarity asked, as she and a million clones attacked the King from all angles. "Quicker and easier, wasn't it?"

"Yes, and I stand by that," Comet said. "This is still more in our favour than it would be if we didn't have the extra help." Disappearing back in time for a few seconds, he reappeared with a large diamond-encrusted book. He swung it into the King, whose entire body shook from the impact. The assembled ponies paused for a few seconds, to inspect the damage. A panic quickly spread through the group when they realised there wasn't any, and Comet found himself falling through the air as Celestia teleported him out of the way of the King's retaliation. "OK, screw this bullshit. What the actual hell are we supposed to do?"

"OK, let's think about this a different way," Luna said. "This guy's carapace is stupidly powerful, right? There's literally nothing we can do to get rid of it. Which means if we did manage to get rid of it, I bet the inside is really weak and squishy. So once that's out of the way this fight will be doable."

"That's wonderful news Luna," Destiny said approvingly. "Except there's literally nothing we can do to get rid of it."

"We've been spreading out too much," Ember said. "If we all focus on one point at the same time then we might be able to make a gap in the armour." There was silence as everyone tried to comprehend what had just happened.

"Did..." Fluttershy began, "did Ember just..."

"Have a good idea?" Acapella finished.

"Now I can die without any regrets," Comet said, just before Celestia had to save him again, the ground beneath him melting away. "OK, maybe I'd like to stop this thing first. And finish my book. Come to think of it I still have plenty of regrets. Let's kill this bastard."

"Fine by us," a voice behind him said. Turning, a small smile crept over Comet's face. Behind him stood a group of ponies he didn't recognise, but at the front was a grinning Misaka Mikoto, a small coin hovering beside her. Next to her stood Patchouli Knowledge, Itsuki Koizumi, and - to Destiny's great joy - some kind of giant yellow rat.

"Heheh," Comet grinned. "This just keeps getting better."

***ACT 4 ACT 3 INTERMISSION***

"Hm? Who's this?" Mio asked, as she and Ritsu entered the club room. The others were happily sat around the table, along with a rather conspicuous grey unicorn.

"Oh, Mio, Ritsu, come over here!" Yui said excitably. "This is Mild! He's only just got here, but he's already settling in just fine!"

"He really is," Mugi said happily, as she set about pouring some more tea. "Sawa-chan was just here, and she thinks that with a bit of practice he'd have a wonderful singing voice."

"Huh, really?" Ritsu looked the unicorn up and down, before shrugging and picking up her tea. "Well, the more the merrier."

Mild sighed and drank some more of his tea. These girls were insufferably slow and terribly dull company, but he supposed that there wasn't anything else he could be doing while he waited for the others. He'd been feeling rather stressed lately, after all. What would be the harm in having a few cups of tea while he waited for the others?

After all, surely it was just a matter of time before they came to get him.

***END OF ACT 4 ACT 3 INTERMISSION***

"Sun Sign - Royal Flare!" Patchouli cried, the air around her erupting into a brilliant supernova of magic, knocking away the King's attack with ease. While the King was stunned, Ember leapt into the sky and once again performed his most devastating attack.

FRAYMOTIF
[SPACE]
NUCLEAR FUSION

Once again, the entire universe paused to watch as even the King was knocked to his knees by the single most devastating attack known to science. As she watched the mighty inferno, Patchouli frowned.

"I swear I've seen that before..."

"You can worry about that later," Celestia said, warping her gaps around the King as he threw an arm forwards. "Stop hitting yourself," she said, as the King's fist slammed into the back of his knee. "Stop hitting yourself," she said, as the King's head rose up and collided with his back. "Stop hitting-FUCK!" she yelled, as the King's sword cut through her spatial distortion and almost killed her before she was knocked out of the way by a stream of purple light. Once she reached safety, it reformed into Koizumi.

"Love Sign - Master Spark!" Star Swirl yelled, firing the giant laser which had quickly become his favourite attack into the King, knocking its fist backwards at an unpleasant angle. Patchouli frowned, looking towards him with a curious expression.

"I've definitely heard that one before."

"Doesn't matter," Comet said. "Although, Swirly, I see you've chosen to keep up with yelling its name like I told you to."

"Force of habit, really," Star Swirl replied, before leaping into the future to dodge the King's retaliation.

"It looks like we might be getting through," Acapella said. "Luna, aim at the neck."

"Sure," Luna said, unleashing a billion arrows on the King from every direction, which drove into the plating around his neck. Most bounced off or snapped, but a good number managed to stick into the carapace. "Looks like he's getting worn down," Luna commented. "Anyone else got any bright ideas?"

"Of course I do," Rainbow said, as she and Fluttershy dove towards the King. "Are you ready, Fluttershy?" She nodded, and Rainbow did her Windy thing. A powerful gale suddenly picked up, and the King was buffeted from all sides by the sheer force of the wind. As he span around, Fluttershy flew straight through the storm, lance in hoof. Ducking beneath a limb which vainly attempted to swat her out of the sky, she drove forwards and stabbed the lance into the base of the King's neck. Finally, after the countless attacks on the carapace, a small crack appeared, and the lance forced the shell open. The King roared, and the two pegasi were knocked away, crashing into the distant buildings.

"OK, we've got somewhere now," Comet said. "It's time to-" Before he could finish, Applejack ran past him towards the King, equipping her most powerful scythe. "AJ, wait, we're not-" Ignoring him, Applejack leapt towards the exposed gap in the King's shell, slashing into it with all of her strength even as the King's sword came slashing up towards her.

"AJ!" Summer cried, flying towards Applejack just in time to knock her out of the way, but not in time to get out of the way herself. Applejack fell to the ground, as well as most of Summer. The King, bleeding profusely from his wound, and with more of his carapce torn off by Applejack's attack, still stood, just as imposing as ever.

"..." Comet closed his eyes slowly, far too late to avoid seeing one of his friends getting cut in half by the unfairly overpowered offspring of bad luck and his own incompetence. "... Mikoto." The Railgun looked at him quizzically. "Please. Just finish this." She nodded, turning towards the King and eyeing the small gap in his armour as he swatted away the barrage of attacks from the others.

***

300-400

"Damn it all again," Diamond said irritably. Just when it had seemed like things were going away, she had been pushed into a corner like this. With 2 Hyper-Venom counters in place, Silver was going to win next turn. There was nothing she could do, except... she smiled as she drew her last card. "Or maybe not, after all. I summon 'The Six Samurai - Yariza' in attack mode!" Her final monster appeared beside her. "Now, I activate the trap card Return of the Six Samurai to special summon Legendary Six Samurai - Kizan from my graveyard."

"Yawn," Silver said, rolling her eyes at Diamond's struggle. "Let's get this over with."

"Yariza's effect means it can attack directly while I control another Six Samurai monster. So..." Diamond smiled viciously. "I win." Her monster leapt towards Silver, who simply burst into laughter.

"Oh, my, you win, do you?" Her gaze hardened. "Well, we can't have that, can we? I activate the trap card 'Fairy Wind'. It destroys all face-up spell and trap cards on the field and deals 300 damage to both players for each card destroyed."

"But... but that means..." Diamond looked at the field in a panic. The only face-up card was Ultimate Offering, which made it 300 damage to both of them.

"Game, set," Silver began, "and-"

"I activate Swiftstrike Armour!" Diamond cried in a final desperate bid for survival, as her hidden trap card now opened to reveal itself. Now there were two face-up cards, making the damage 600.

"What?" Silver shouted, fuming at Diamond's trick. "But... what... you mean it's a draw!? What happens now!? What if-"

Before she completed her thought, the two ponies, and the entire stadium, were engulfed in a sudden flash of light, followed by darkness.

***

"... is it... over?" Luna asked, as she tried to look up and failed miserably. She was lying on her back in a pool of water, rubble scattered all around her. Something had ended, she just wasn't sure if it was the battle or her life.

"I think so," Star Swirl said, lying in a similar manner beside her. "I think we won, Luna."

"Thank the six that you're still alive," Luna said. "I was worried about you when you used that master spark again."

"Heh, sorry to worry you," Star Swirl said. "... urgh, I feel awful."

"So do I," Luna replied. "What about the others?"

"I think a lot of us did die," Star Swirl said. "Luckily I don't think it was anyone who wasn't already dead." This struck Luna as incredibly sad. Slowly, painfully getting to her feet, she looked over at Twilight, who was standing with a dark expression after losing her friends twice.

"... what now?" Luna asked.

"Now?" Twilight smiled grimly. "Now, we find Silver and Pinkie. Now, we get back to the game and find Discord. Now... now I make him pay for even thinking of hurting me and my friends."

***

"Silver?" Now that the others had arrived in this lonely world, Pinkie had found herself able to talk again. She pulled on Silver Heart's hoof, trying to get her friend to stand, but she remained lying in the ground, her eyes closed. Snow was beginning to cover her, so Pinkie pulled even more urgently.

"Hey," Silver whispered, causing Pinkie to pause in disbelief. "... you're there, right?"

"Of course I am," Pinkie said. If she had a real body, she might have been holding back tears. For however long they had been there, she and Silver had been each other’s only company. "I'm always by your side, right?" Silver smiled sadly.

"Thanks." She was silent for a few minutes, while the blizzard continued raging around them. "I was having a dream. I learned a lot of things... about myself, about you."

"Yes," Pinkie said. "We were in a game together. We never met, but we were on the same side. We were never meant to meet here. We were meant to meet in the other world, and become friends there. That's why you and I have to go back there now, right? Everyone's here to take us back." Silver sighed, tears forming in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I have to stay here. Because in this world... no, I am this world. I am what is keeping this place here." For a fraction of a second, the scene changed - Silver was not lying in the snow in a dead world, she was staring into the fires of oblivion as the light of Skaia grew to envelop her. "Nothing can save me from this. I will forever stay here, on the brink of the Scratch." In that instant, Pinkie understood. She stood in silence, barely registering that the blizzard had stopped.

"But... I can't..."

"It's OK," Silver said. "I will be waiting here, forever, but that's fine. You have to go with the others, back to the world filled with friends and warmth, to save it. Just... just promise me one thing." Pinkie nodded, taking Silver's hoof again.

"What is it?" Pinkie asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Silver smiled as her eyes drew shut. Behind her, Twilight and Celestia followed suit, and the air began to glow. "... Silver?" Suddenly, the glow burst into a bright flare of light, swallowing up everypony present. And yet, as she was thrown through time and space, Pinkie knew that Silver had been left behind, her last words ringing in Pinkie's ears.

"Please save my Golden."

***END OF ACT 4 ACT 3***

Chapter 43

View Online

***ACT 4 ACT 4***

While the ponies made their last few preparations before boarding the warship, there was a grim mood in the air. With their brief numerical advantage now shattered, many of them certainly had a little less confidence about the upcoming struggle. Where Pinkie had vanished to upon their arrival, none of them could guess, but it was generally assumed by all that she would not be available for some time.

Twilight, surprisingly, was the only one who did not seem particularly depressed about fighting Discord. Instead she seemed impatient to get started, as she had stashed herself and Spike away into the engine room to get the warship running as quickly as possible. Celestia had stopped anyone from going after, saying that it was better to leave her alone for a while. Comet had pointed out that she wasn't alone because Spike was with her, but had to concede the point when Celestia replied that Spike never said or did anything noticeable. And so the remaining ponies had made a few short-lived attempts at conversation, before falling into silence as they contemplated what lay ahead.

With a mixture of relief and despair, they were roused from their thoughts as the warship suddenly blazed into life, seemingly better and healthier than it had ever been, lifting up into the air as it span around to present them with the large gap in its side. Looking down at them from the gap stood Twilight and Spike. Twilight was wearing the smile of someone-who-had-killed-the-dragon-that-had-burnt-their-village-and-was-feeling-good-about-it-but-was-still-pretty-pissed-and-could-go-for-a-few-cave-trolls-or-something-to-finish-off, but it was a smile nonetheless, so a few ponies were able to relax a little. Comet remained on edge, as it seemed likely he would be one of the cave trolls, but still boarded the warship along with the others.

"Shall we be off?" Twilight asked, once they had all boarded. "It's about time we got started, isn't it?"

***

Room 217702988324556021314531333103452334358935571183505382e156 explodes into a billion fragments of refined taste and impeccable style as an enraged Discord tears through it and a thousand other rooms, searching desperately for his foe. Not that he has any chance of finding me, as I am well hidden. Speaking of which, I should probably address the change in management to avoid confusion. I am Pinkie Pie, and I will be your narrator for the remainder of what is still stubbornly being called an evening for the purposes of mood setting. I suppose if you read the whole thing in one go from the start, it could fit into an evening.

I don't really know why I said that, but my Voidy powers have a habit of telling me good things to say even if I don't quite see why. That's also the reason why I have such a very clear grasp of the situation, and why I am always at least fifty steps ahead of Discord as he and I dance through this all-too short wing of the infinite hotel. I must be careful that he does not find me, but equally careful that he continues to try. If nothing else I must keep him distracted until Twilight and the others arrive. I am rather capable in a fight, of course, but alone in a fight against Discord I would no doubt be dead by the 185th move. This isn't a terrible setback for a god, of course, but I'd still rather avoid that kind of thing. I am aware that by buying time for Twilight I am, arguably, being heroic, so avoiding Discord is that much more important now. The judgement of the fates can be especially tricky at times like this.

Very nearly making a mistake, I halt and jump behind a corner as Discord bursts through the floor and incinerates everything in his immediate vicinity. He really is terribly angry at the moment, and if he finds me... well, it doesn't do thinking about.

For now, at least, I am safe. But I can't help but think about what Silver said to me before reality was restored, and I can't help but think that her request might be just a little bit beyond my means. Save Golden? I almost laugh as the entire hotel shakes violently. Give me a break, I'm the one that needs saving from him.

***

CFA: what did you expect

PFA: i don't know. maybe i thought that future me could have finally sorted out all the issues between us

CFA: listen to yourself. this is you you're talking about. how the hell could you have sorted out all of the issues between you and twilight

PFA: urgh

The journey towards their epic destiny seemed, in Comet's eyes, entirely too long, and something of a let-down after all the nonsense he'd bothered through previously. Being saved by complete chance by a pony pressing buttons she didn't understand, evading the end of two different universes, getting shot at by a trigger-happy unicorn, and now a good day's worth of waiting around on a boat. And they were only halfway there, according to Celestia's rough guess. Why she couldn't just teleport them all there was what Comet had wanted to know, to which she had replied that they didn't know the exact location of the centre of the Paradox Loop. Comet had pointed out that it was probably in the fucking centre where else would it be, and she had asked him to point to where exactly that was, and he had said wasn't it just the point equidistant from the three sessions which would make it the dice in the middle of the Paradox Gate. She had said yes, it was, but unfortunately they didn't have a Paradox Gate. He had asked why not and she had said because deal with it.

Then he had said hold on a second. The dice? There were dice in the middle of the Gate, weren't there? The dice were in the segment of the Gate which corresponded to their destination. Did that mean that...?

"I am stupid and lonely and I have no friends," he had said, earning a confused look from some and a nod of agreement from Twilight. Then he had rushed off to his laptop to tell himself about the dice and how important they were, and also how he had forced them into the same temporal corner that they would later force his younger self into. And now, he had settled for simply bothering his younger self, which was always amusing. It was only now that he realised why his future self had enjoyed bothering him so much. This led him onto another train of thought. It had been a while since he had spoken with his future self. Maybe that meant what it obviously implied, or maybe it meant that his laptop would be destroyed, or he would be too busy to chat. Perhaps his future's silence was nothing more than a spoiler warning. In any case, it seemed clear to him that things were drawing to a close.

That was the problem with time travel, he reflected, or at least it was the problem with maintaining relations with your future self. From the slightest hint of things going badly, the most elaborate schemes to change history could develop. It was all too easy to get carried away trying to save yourself. He looked over at Twilight, who was speaking with Spike on the other side of the bridge. She had lost far more friends than he had. She had also seen the futility in trying to save them. Or, perhaps, she had saved them in a billion doomed timelines. Briefly, Comet closed his eyes, thinking back to Summer's death.

***FLASHBACK***

"OK, let's go," Comet said, as he helped Summer and Applejack fight off Mild's minions. "We don't have much time."

"Why, what's the rush?" Summer asked. Oh, it's nothing, just that you're going to die in a few minutes, Comet thought, but he just shrugged.

"Stuff's happening over there, and we need all the firepower we can get." Summer thought about this for a few seconds.

"It's nothing you can't handle, right?"

"Just hurry up!" Comet kept glancing upwards impatiently, to make sure he still had time.

"OK, OK, fine," Summer sighed. "AJ, let's-" she stopped suddenly, cutting off. Applejack was lying on the ground, in a rapidly growing pool of blood. "AJ!" As Summer rushed towards her friend and viciously kicked away the remaining soldiers, Comet stood back as she realised what had happened. A soldier had stabbed her in the back while Summer had been talking.

"Summer, I-" Comet began, before getting kicked in the face as Summer stood up again.

"Just go," Summer said quietly.

"... OK," Comet said, once again taking out his book.

***

"OK, let's go," Comet said, as he helped Summer and Applejack fight off Mild's minions. "We don't have much time."

"Why, what's the rush?" Summer asked. Comet shrugged, as he turned around and crushed several minions surrounding Applejack with his dictionary.

"Stuff's happening over there, and we need all the firepower we can get." Summer thought about this for a few seconds.

"It's nothing you can't handle, right?"

"Just hurry up!" Comet snapped, as a certain soldier who was attempting to sneak up on Applejack suddenly misplaced his skull.

"OK, OK, fine," Summer sighed. "AJ, let's go." Applejack nodded, and the two ponies followed Comet as they fought through the endless minions towards where he knew the others would be gathering. "But really, I don't get what's going on or why you're being so pushy about this. What could be so important? I thought we were winning the battle?"

"It's a long story," Comet said, glancing upwards to check on Prospit. "Suffice it to say that-"

"AJ!" A chill ran down Comet's spine as he turned towards Summer, who was sitting beside Applejack as she lay in a pool of-

***

"Well, at least we all made it," Luna said, as everypony appearified on LOPAD. Comet breathed a sigh of relief as he looked over at Summer and Applejack, who were finally both alive. "Now we can-Summer!" Luna cried, as a new figure suddenly transportalised into place next to Summer and Applejack, beheading them both with a flick of his wrists.

"Is this a bad time?" Discord asked, even as the others charged towards him and Comet retrieved his book from his sylladex.

***

"Right then, a bit of rest now, and then we can take on the King," Summer said, while everyone made their preparations. "Well done everyone on not dying for so long." Comet laughed bitterly, but said nothing when everyone gave him confused glances.

"It's nothing," he said, as he got out his laptop. "Nothing at all."

[CURRENT fractalAbomination began responding to memo FIX EVERYTHING]

CFA: aw yeah

CFA: i totally rule

[FUTURE fractalAbomination began responding to memo FIX EVERYTHING]

FFA: bro

FFA: go back. now. you have to go back now

CFA: huh?

FFA: before you saved summer and aj

FFA: you can't save them, seriously

CFA: what the hell are you talking about

CFA: i did not just see my friend die 500 times to just give up

FFA: listen to me you stubborn ass

FFA: you saved aj

FFA: meaning celestia is fine

CFA: yeah

FFA: so she didn't ascend to god tier

CFA: so? we'll do it later

FFA: fucking listen because i don't have long

FFA: you need her to be god tier

FFA: you are all about to be screwed over forever because without the god tier mages of time and space you're going to be stuck in an alternate universe forever

FFA: ok, i'll admit, it's a damn awesome universe and i can think of worse places to spend eternity

FFA: that's not the damn point

CFA: look, i'm not going to undo everything i've spent the last week or so doing

CFA: i'm saving them. so deal with it

FFA: was it worth it

CFA: what the hell? of course it was worth it

FFA: was it worth seeing her die 500 times

FFA: do you feel like you've come out of this emotionally better off

CFA: it doesn't matter. the point is that i've saved her

FFA: until the next time she dies

FFA: reality has been trying very hard to tell you that she needed to die

CFA: fuck reality

CFA: i'm not giving up

FFA: isn't that just because you're too stubborn to admit you were wrong

CFA: same difference. she's going to survive

FFA: i'm sure you have some noble intentions besides your own ego

FFA: but you're a page. you can't overturn the alpha timeline

CFA: ...

FFA: just listen to me. if you continue down this path then shit is going to be a million times worse than if you let her die

CFA: fuck you for saying that

FFA: fuck you for listening

CFA: ...

[CURRENT fractalAbomination stopped responding to memo FIX EVERYTHING]

"Hey, Summer," Comet said, as he took his book out of his sylladex one last time. Summer looked up.

"What do you want?" she asked irritably. Comet smiled.

"... sorry."

***

***NOT A FLASHBACK***

Comet wondered if Twilight had spent as long saving Applejack. Or Fluttershy. Or any of her friends. He wondered how long it had taken her to realise the inevitable truth. He supposed it was only natural that he had sort of forgotten she was a hero of Time. When you spend so long manipulating the timeline and dealing with people who don't understand what's happening, it made sense that you would start thinking that only you could time travel. On the other hand, it seemed almost impossible that Twilight hadn't been up to at least as many shenanigans as he had, and gone equally unnoticed.

"What are you moping about?" Twilight asked, as she walked over to his side of the warship. It was only able to move because of Twilight's magic supplying it with power, but because it didn't require much steering she didn't need to pay too much attention to it. "I'm sort of counting on you in this battle, you know. I don't know what we'll do if you're not on form."

"It hurts, doesn't it," Comet said, looking up at her. "So you stop trying. You have to, because it just hurts too much." He didn't wait for Twilight to acknowledge that she was following him. He knew she was. "But then... no matter how much you try before you give in... you're always, always thinking that maybe there was one other thing you didn't try."

"Maybe it'll work out," Twilight said. "Maybe the fate we tried to avoid isn't so bad?"

"Maybe," Comet said quietly. "Maybe."

***

"Are we there yet?" Luna asked in a bored voice, as she stood up, walked around the small cabin, and sat down again in boredom. She supposed that this kind of thing was to be expected, after all. Wasn't it just typical game design to have a massive tedious journey preceding the final battle? She supposed it was odd to think of this as the final battle of the game. Recent events had quite clearly gone above and beyond the expected routine of this game - although she had a feeling that such deviations from the plan were probably rather common - and besides that, there was nothing to say this would be the final battle. Still, everypony seemed to share the feeling that all they had to do was to defeat Discord. Exactly what would happen after that was rather hard to say. Absently, she did another lap of the cabin where she and Star Swirl had come to get away from the depressing mood on the deck. Not that this was any better, she supposed. Star Swirl watched her for a while, before offering his reply.

"Probably not."

"Urgggh," Luna groaned, bringing a hoof to her head. "Swirly, think of something for us to do."

"I think I have some playing cards somewhere in my sylladex," Star Swirl said. "I might also have a spare monopony board."

"Monopony?" Luna laughed. "Thanks, but I'd rather be bored than wanting to kill myself. Especially since doing so wouldn't work."

"Heh, I guess."

"... When we do get there," Luna said, her face becoming serious. "I want you to promise me that you won't do anything stupid."

"Come on, Luna, it's me," Star Swirl protested. "Would I do something stupid?"

"Yes," Luna said, without a moment of hesitation. "Which is why I'm telling you. Don't do anything stupid." She looked away. "I'll let you fight. Because I know you won't listen if I tell you to stay behind. But... but I'm not going to let you get killed. Not if it's to defeat Discord. Not if it's to save me."

"You can't ask me not to save you," Star Swirl said.

"I can and I am," Luna replied. "I don't care if I'm being selfish, Swirly. Just promise me that you won't let yourself be killed."

"... OK. I promise." Star Swirl was quiet for a few minutes. "Hey, Luna. After... after this game is over and done with, do you think we... we could go out somewhere? Just us?" Luna gave him a look. "Uh. I mean, that's not... only if you'd be interested. That is." Luna held his gaze for a full minute, with neither of them moving, before she looked up at the ceiling. She smiled.

"... Yeah. I'd like that."

***

It is everything I can do to keep Discord away from the study as he chases me through the hotel. At the very least I would like to keep that room intact, although given the state of this wing I should imagine that the poor soul who borrowed it from the hotel proper is going to be in quite a lot of hot water. I don't know how long it takes to repair an infinite amount of rooms and it makes me rather queasy just thinking about it. As was mentioned earlier, the corridors do not strictly follow time and space, and so as I run through the building I am careful not to run into myself. At one point, I found myself at a hole in the wall of one corridor, through which the same corridor several days earlier can be observed. As might be expected, on stepping through the gap I found myself trapped in it, as several days earlier no such gap existed. There are several side effects to having an insane Heir of Rage tearing apart a building which doesn't strictly make sense, and that kind of thing is just one of them.

It is some small consolation to me that, just like me, Discord has no mastery over the rules of Time or Space. He is capable of manipulating them with a greater ease than I am, but is no better off when it comes to navigating these twisting corridors. Not that he makes any attempt to navigate them as opposed to simply running forwards and destroying everything in his way. It is a good thing that, being infinite, the hotel does not have a defined centre of gravity; otherwise it would probably have collapsed in on itself a long time ago from all of the important-looking walls which are now missing. Although of course, if it did so, it rather makes my head spin to think of how the hotel's warped timeline would react.

Turning a corner, I come to a corridor which is badly charred and devastated. It seems Discord has already been this way, so it is with confidence that I begin running down the passage. Almost immediately, I regret doing so, as the charred carpet and stained walls around me begin to reform. As I sprint down the corridor, it quickly reforms itself from a ruined mess to its previous neat shape. Realising what is happening a moment too late, I stop dead at the end of the corridor as Discord runs in front of me, and pauses.

"Got you," he says, grinning evilly as he charges forwards, knocking me off my feet as he knocks me the whole length of the corridor back the way I came, his magic wildly lashing around him and destroying the corridor as he runs down it, returning it to the state it was in a few minutes ago. This is to say, the state it was in a few minutes after when I was seeing it. If that makes any sense. I apologise if it doesn't, but I am too busy being beaten to a bloody pulp to explain four-dimensional topology.

It is all my magic can do to fend off as many of his attacks as I can, even as I am sent reeling to the ground in a bruised and broken mess. It seems that he has finally and completely given himself over to rage. If I had to guess, the sudden disappearance of Silver Edge is probably to blame. I realise that this is entirely his fault, but I refrain from pointing that out.

"Why can't you just die?" Discord roars, slamming his fist into the wall. In response, the whole of the right wall of the corridor rushes to the left, crushing me between the two walls, while Discord simply burns away the approaching wall. It is beginning to get difficult to maintain my composure, for which I can only apologise.

"She's worried about you," I whisper, unsure of whether this will help or simply bring about my death all the sooner. "She told me... to save you..." I assume the second option, especially as the entire corridor collapses at my words, as Discord's magic causes the entirety of the surrounding rooms to fracture into a thousand segments. These are sent crashing into the remaining portions of structure, as he and I float opposite each other in a confusing limbo that he has created in this floor of the hotel.

"... No," Discord whispers, but I am able to hear him perfectly against the complete silence which has fallen. "I can't... I can't be saved now."

"She asked me to," I assert. "So I have to try."

"Try?" Discord shouts. "What are you going to do? Silver couldn't save me, so what the hell are you going to do?" I suddenly get a glimpse of Golden Shine, angrily yelling at the world which has done this to him, scared and alone. "I... I just..."

"It will only be too late if you continue like this," I say. "There's time. There's still time."

"Time?" Golden looks at me hopefully. "Time for what?" His eyes darken, as Discord shakes his head at me. "It was noble of you to fight for so long for your friends," he says. "Just die. There's nothing you can do now. There's nothing anyone can do now."

"Golden-" I say, before being cut off as he rushes towards me and punches me in the stomach before I can finish. Coughing, I am sent flying back into the hotel proper, and he chases after me with an axe in his hand.

"I'm not Golden," Discord says, slashing down at me with the axe before I manage to parry the attack just in time. "Not now. Use my name. My real name." Easily knocking away my weapon, he grabs me by the throat and throws me at the wall. Although I managed to deflect his attack, in truth I am entirely exhausted.

"... Discord," I mutter grimly. "Is the name you've chosen for yourself, right?"

"Discord," he says, readying his axe again, "is the name I was born to have."

***

"FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" Celestia yelled, as she landed on the water company for the fifth time and Acapella cackled gleefully. Grumbling, Celestia handed over a fistful of boonbucks. "Here, take your money, you sadistic bitch."

"Woah, calm down," Acapella said as she counted up her haul. "It's just a game, you know."

"Bullshit it's just a game," Celestia said. "And I don't know what you're smiling about, Ember. You're the one who started this game of Monopony but you don't seem to be faring much better than me." Ember shrugged as he rolled the dice.

"I've got plenty of money anyway, I don't mind." Moving his piece forwards, Ember groaned dramatically as he moved his piece to jail. "Oh come on, not again."

"Seriously, you two suck at this," Acapella said reprimandingly, before looking down. "Though, to be honest, Diamond would be winning if she were still here."

"Hey, stop that right there," Celestia said. "We don't even know for certain where Diamond is. She could have ascended somewhere, and we just need to find her."

"But, we never found her in any of those alternate universes," Acapella said, taking her turn. "I just hope she's OK. She was kind of my best friend, you know?" Ember coughed loudly. "Oh, sorry, here," she said as she handed over her rent.

"I know what you're saying," Celestia said. "But you've got to look on the bright side. Even if she's not here, she's probably doing just fine. I mean, she should be a God now, right? No matter where she is she'll be able to handle herself."

"In any case," Ember said, while Celestia rolled the dice again, "I want to know what happened to Mild. Where did he even end up?"

"I expect he'll turn up at some point as well," Celestia said, as she handed over some notes to Ember. "Not that I'll be particularly fussed if he doesn't. That'll be one hotel, please."

"Well, I didn't mean it like that," Ember said as he handed over the requested wooden block. "I just don't like the idea of not knowing where he is."

"Oh, that I can understand," Acapella said. "But I don't think he'll try anything, assuming he's in any position to. I mean, on paper, our team has a huge advantage. There's no way he'd join a losing team, so I'd imagine he'd stay with us."

"We don't have such an advantage at all, really," Celestia said. "Haven't you seen what Discord can do? Do you think that in any of the battles so far, he's been even close to getting serious?"

"Well..." Acapella shrugged. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, right? By the way, I've been wondering, but... why do you all call him Discord?" Celestia tilted her head questioningly. "I mean, Twilight's met him before as Discord, or met someone just like him or something, I don't really get that bit... but your session... you know, you used to know him."

"No we didn't," Celestia said firmly. "We had a friend called Golden Shine, who we all liked a lot. He's dead, and that's a shame, but please don't confuse the issue. Discord is not our friend."

"Is it really like that?" Acapella pressed.

"We call him Discord," Celestia said, sighing, "Because if it comes down to it, no matter what bullshit he's pulled, I don't think a single one of us could kill Golden."

***

"PINKIE!!!!" Discord roars several floors below me as I continue my desperate flight through the hotel. I really hate to break the tradition of narrators being killed in overwhelmingly unfair battles, but I have a feeling that something pretty bad would happen if I died without anyone left to take over the mantle of narrator. I am just thankful that my surprise fancy Santa attack went off without a hitch. I doubt a second Santa will be met with the same level of success, however. Also, I am rather injured, so I don't know for how much longer I will be of use as a narrator. Rest assured that I will do my utmost to not leave this tale in dangerous hands. Or claws. Or whatever.

Rounding a corner, I stop myself before falling down the next passage, which is vertical for some reason. Tentatively raising a hoof above the gap, I feel around for the gravity, which thankfully does seem to obey the direction the shape of the corridor would suggest. A little hesitantly, I drop into the passage and fall onto the ground behind me. Not the most elegant of landings, but a landing nonetheless. Getting to my feet, I resume running through what remains of the structure. Surely, Twilight and the others can't be too far away. Surely.

Or at least, that is what I keep telling myself, as the explosions behind me draw nearer and nearer.

Rounding the next corner, I freeze. In front of me stands Discord, and he does not look like someone in the mood for messing around.

"Game over," he says bluntly. And, strangely, I feel no desire to correct him.

***

"Are... are we here?" Acapella asks, as she and the others gather together on the deck of the warship.

"Looks like it," Comet says. "Although I have to say, they've really let the place go." In front of them, suspended in space, is a colossal skyscraper. In fact it is only a segment of a skyscraper, and appeared to be cubic. In actuality it's a polyhedron comprised of several billion faces, most of which extended infinitely into themselves. The more time spent looking at a certain point, the more the brain was forced to acknowledge the impossible angles and hideously warped geometry of the structure. Simply glancing at it passed it off as a cube, because cubes were a lot easier to understand. The walls were solid grey, and each face was dotted with millions upon billions of small dark windows, some of which were lit up in a bright white.

That was, at least, what most of the structure looks like. However, even from the outside it is clear that large portions of the building were damaged. An entire network of corridors had seemingly peeled away from the main building, and scattered around the outside was the residual of a thousand massive explosions. In one large face, every window had been smashed apart, and a large amount of the grey steel was twisted out of shape. In short, the entire cube looked like a battlefield. Which, to be fair, is exactly what it was.

"Well," Twilight says uneasily. "There's no time like the present. Shall we?" The others nod, and the warship draws in closer. It then suddenly halts as another huge explosion, visible from outside, sends large chunks of the wall flying outwards. "Is... is that..." The others follow Twilight's line of sight, and have similar reactions when they see what is standing in the gap left by the explosion. "Pinkie!?" I am standing in front of them, my clothes and body badly torn up. I am breathing heavily, and it is hard for them to tell whether I have actually seen them. "Pinkie! It's me!" I blink, and gasp as if seeing Twilight for the first time. I smile.

"Twilight..." I say, just loud enough for them to hear as the ship draws closer. "I'm sorry that I couldn't be of any more use..." I close my eyes, and am overcome with a sense of peace as I collapse, dropping out of the hotel and plummeting downwards.

"Pinkie!" Twilight yells, as she rushes towards the edge of the boat just in time to see me crash into a fractured segment of the hotel far below. "Pinkie!!"

Below the commotion, I lie quietly as I wait for death. I don't believe that I will revive, which is a shame, but at the least I hope that I can survive long enough to narrate the battle taking place above.

"Oh, Twilight, how nice of you to show up," a voice calls from the hole that I had fallen out of. Glancing up, Twilight and the others recoil as they see Discord waving at them cheerily, a dark look in his eyes. "Nice boat."

"I've been waiting for this," Twilight says grimly, as the others take their positions behind her.

"As have I," Discord says, grinning wickedly as he equips a large axe in each hand. "Shall we?"

"Bring it," Twilight says. "Let's see just how-" she is cut off, as a brilliant light suddenly exploded from the space between her and Discord, who had a similar reaction to the sudden inferno. "Wha-" As the light fades enough to see, Twilight stares into the heart of the bright glow, her question dying in her throat at what she saw. "But... that's..."

"..." Discord blinks. "Is... that...?"

In front of them, a purple winged unicorn now floats in the void, looking at them with eyes of red and blue. Her clothes are white and dark green, bearing the logo of a winged skull. The Sylph of Hope and Doom now hovers proudly before them.

"Hey," Diamond Edge says casually. "Did you guys miss me?"

Chapter 44

View Online

***ACT 4 ACT 4 INTERMISSION***

"What?" Silver shouted, fuming at Diamond's trick. "But... what... you mean it's a draw!? What happens now!? What if-"

Before she completed her thought, the two ponies, and the entire stadium, were engulfed in a sudden flash of light, followed by darkness.

An eternity passed. Time melted away into itself and lost meaning. The occasional Norse God wandered past and inquired about directions, but otherwise the two ponies were alone. Side by side, but neither of them aware of the other. Another eternity passed.

"Well this sucks," Diamond said, after a billion years of hesitation. Silver jumped in surprise.

"Yes, it does," she said. "Where are you?" she added, perhaps a thousand years later. Perhaps a few seconds later. It was hard to tell, and largely irrelevant.

"Here," Diamond replied. "Where are you?"

"Here. I now pronounce us Queen and Queen of pointless observations, so let's move on." Silver glanced around her at nothing. "What do we do now?"

"I spy-" Diamond began.

"Fuck off," Silver said. "I'd rather be alone again for another eternity."

"Really?"

"Of course not, don't be fucking stupid," Silver sighed. "Seriously. How do we get out of here?"

"Who knows?" The two ponies fell silent again. Another three eternities passed. "... are you still here?"

"Yeah," Silver said immediately. "I'm just thinking. I hope it was worth all of this just so you didn't lose a fucking card game."

"It totally was," Diamond said. She paused. "We haven't seen any Vikings in a while, have we?"

"They've got better things to be doing," Silver pointed out. "Or they're all dead. That was at least three or four eons ago."

"That was a complete guess, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. Could have been a few seconds ago, really. Doesn't make my idea any less plausible." To clarify, it was in fact a damn long time ago, but the majority of the Norse Gods are still alive and well. "I wonder if they ever got to where they were going."

"Funny that we didn't follow them," Diamond said. "It didn't occur to me at the time."

"No," Silver agreed. "Me neither." And so the ages passed again, uninterrupted save for the occasional exchange of dialogue between the two ponies. Most of these were incredibly tedious, but that is only to be expected. There wasn't much new material for conversation when you spend such a stupidly long time in a void.

"Hey, Silver?" Diamond said quietly.

"Yeah?" Once, Silver would have looked around quizzically, but she had long since grown accustomed to the fact that she didn't have a clue where Diamond was.

"... I'm really glad you're here," Diamond said. "Wherever that is."

"Yeah. Me too," Silver said. And it was true, she was. Even if they had been enemies once, that seemed incredibly trivial now. It was so long ago. And besides, they were basically the same pony. Or, at least, two dream selves belonging to the same body. The body which was now dead. So, sort of the same pony.

"You know what would be great?" Diamond said.

"What?"

"If we got out of here, and found that everyone had made friends again. And no one had died, and everyone had sorted out their issues."

"Yeah, that would be great. Probably won't happen though."

"Hey, you've got to think positive! I'm sure they could work it out if they tried."

"Maybe. But are we ever going to get out here?" Silver closed her eyes. It didn't make any difference, so she opened them again. At least, she thought she had. It was hard to tell. "Well, whatever. Just promise me you won't leave without me."

"I promise," Diamond agreed. And the ages continued to pass. After spending so long together, talking and laughing and crying throughout the infinite expanse of time, it came as quite a shock when they both suddenly realised where the other one was.

***END OF ACT 4 ACT 4 INTERMISSION***

"Hey," Diamond Edge said casually. "Did you guys miss me?"

"Diamond!?" Acapella cried with relief.

"Silver!?" Discord cried with relief.

There was an awkward silence.

"Heh, well, I don't really mind either," Diamond said sheepishly. "Officially I guess I'm Diamond Edge now. I was thinking 'Silver Heart' but that was already taken. So... yeah. How have you guys been holding up? Good?"

"... well, it's just... we were kind of in the middle of something here," Twilight began. "Uh... it's probably worth asking, what happened to you?"

"Oh, well... hard to say," Diamond said. "I guess that I and me spent a lot of time together, and... well, I guess we reconciled our reconcilable differences." She paused. "Heh, you don't hear about reconcilable differences very often, do you? Although in my case I guess it's just as well. I hear that getting divorced from yourself can be rather messy."

"I... what I meant was, who are you?" Twilight restated. Diamond blinked.

"I'm Diamond Edge. I used to be Diamond Heart and Silver Edge, but it's much more convenient to just have the one, don't you think? Occam's razor and all that." There was a heavy pause while everypony thought about this.

"Well, whatever," Discord said. "The question is... whose side are you on?" Diamond looked at him quizzically.

"Side?"

"Yes," Discord said levelly. "Are you on my side, like Silver was, or on their side, like Diamond was?"

"Hm?" Diamond paused for a full minute, before gasping in surprise. "Ohhhh, right, now I remember, you guys don't get along, right?"

"Don't get along?" Ember sighed. "Yeah, something like that."

"Oh, sorry, I guess it's kind of a big deal for you. I've all but forgotten about it." She laughed. "Hm, well, I don't really know. Why don't we all get along? Come on everypony; let's sort out your differences. I'm on a reconciling roll at the moment."

"Diamond," Comet said calmly, "I don't mean to be blunt. But we have lost far too many friends thanks to this guy. We're less than half our original number here. We are not going to call it water under the fucking bridge and make up with him. I am going to weep like a bitch over this veritable ocean of misplaced lactic fluid until that bastard is dead, buried, risen, dead again, burnt, scattered to the four winds, risen again, dead once more, buried for three months, recycled as firelighters, then somehow risen again, then finally permanently dead so we can all go home."

"How are you planning to kill him permanently?" Celestia asked with interest. Comet shrugged.

"I don't know, I'll read him poetry or something."

"If we can get back on topic..." Twilight suggested, before turning back to Diamond. "The point is, Diamond, we're not going to forgive him for this mess. Ever."

"I... I see," Diamond said sadly. With hope in her eyes, she turned to Discord. "What about you? Would you be prepared to call all of this off?"

"No," Discord said immediately. "Now either join me or step out of the way."

"But... but-" Diamond began, before cutting off as she finally realised. Realised that nothing she could say was going to defuse the situation. Maybe she was just out of touch after having spent several million million million million million incredibly huge amounts of time by herself. Diamond frowned. "Wha-" Shh. Stop talking. You'll just confuse the situation. I already know exactly what you're thinking so there's no reason for you to say anything. Now, leave these ponies be for the moment and come and find me. Nodding to no one in particular, Diamond shrugged. "Well, if that's the way it's going to be, I suppose I can't do anything to stop you." She turned to leave.

"Wait, where are you going?" Discord called after her. She paused, and briefly glanced back at him.

"I just need to think about a few things," she said, and flew away.

***

"Ow," I say pointlessly. There is no one around to hear me and it hurts to talk, but I still gasp in pain out of habit more than anything else. I don't think I will die, not just yet at any rate. Another encounter with Discord would quickly remedy that, but for now I am at least in good enough shape to complete my narration. I just sincerely hope that the ending will be a good one.

"It was you who called me out, wasn't it?" Diamond asks, finding me much faster than I had anticipated. "Are... are you OK?"

"It's not important," I cough, almost collapsing to the ground as I stumble onwards. "Hurry on. Need to get. Room." In an effort to remain conscious I have decided to omit less needed words. "240044492291185520244740319123850321940258237447921013742302101427294."

"Pardon?" Diamond asks, and I almost laugh. Almost, except my body suddenly hurls itself against the wall and falls to the ground. "Hey, seriously, stop moving, let me help you." She rushes over and picks me up with her magic. Her levitation is quite delicate, and there is no pain, which is a nice surprise. "Just tell me where I need to take you." I nod; narrating as she gently carries me through the hotel.

"Left here. Next left. Left again. Take the next two lefts." She gives me a strange look, and an even stranger look as the final turn takes us into a vast chamber filled with tables and chairs. "Now turn around and take the first right." She does so, and we walk into the same vast chamber, but on the opposite side. "Now head left up these stairs, turn around, first left, two hundred and fifty eight right, down the stairs to the right, left, left, third right, behind the bar, left, up the next four flights, right, and now keep going for about ten miles." Diamond gives me another look. "Don't look at me like that. Just get to it."

"At least tell me it'll be at the end of these ten miles," Diamond complains. I don't answer. "... Hello?"

"Oh, yes, it is at the end of the ten miles," I say, and Diamond nods in relief and continues on. "... After all the rest, that is," I add.

"I'm going to drop you," Diamond threatens.

***

"Well then," Discord said. "Now that that's... out of the way, let's carry on from where we left off, shall we? I think we were just coming up to the part where I kill you." He prepared to leap forwards, an axe in each hand. "I've been looking forward to this, you know. Finally fighting you all at full strength? It's about time I had some fun." He began to leap forwards, just as Luna fired a barrage of arrows from the shadows behind him, and Acapella's powers twisted Discords' arms behind him. The Heir fell over backwards as every single arrow stabbed into him. Crying out in pain, Discord roared as the entire corridor he was in exploded, engulfing Acapella and Luna in a tornado of fire. Or at least it would have done, except the two ponies reappeared safely next to Celestia as Discord rose painfully to his feet. "Heh... fighting Pinkie's made me a bit slow, I see," Discord said. "I can't let my guard down when there's a group of you like this."

"Weren't you listening when we said we weren't going to forgive you?" Twilight asked. "You're not going to beat us with cheap tricks anymore."

"Fair enough," Discord sighed. "I guess I should go all out, then?" With that, he vanished. An uncertain pause followed, which came to an abrupt end as Discord burst through the deck of the warship from beneath it, axes dancing around him. There was a great heaving, creaking sound, before the entire deck splintered and cracked, and the entire vessel broke apart into two large chunks. Twilight and Celestia reacted almost immediately, gathering their group safely onto the largest chunk as Discord twisted through the air and landed gracefully in front of them. "Oh come on, you'll have to be faster than that," he admonished, darting forwards and knocking Acapella's cane out of her hoof the moment she equipped it. Quickly turning, he parried Twilight's quillsword with one axe while using the other to cleave at Acapella as she desperately leapt around his attacks while trying to pick up her cane. As she stumbled and fell to the ground, Discord's axe swung towards her, only to miss entirely as she vanished. Caught off balance, Discord leapt upwards and away from Twilight, barely managing to deflect the arrows which Luna was sending towards him from an infinite number of directions as Comet deposited Acapella back into the same position several seconds later.

"It's really endearing how you're all working together like this," Discord said. "Almost makes me feel bad." In an instant, all of the arrows and spells flying towards him disappeared with a wave of his hand. Dashing back down towards the warship, he swiftly dodged between the countless gaps in time and space that opened up in front of him as he aimed straight for Acapella. Moments before reaching her, Ember finally managed to open a gap beneath his feet, depositing him in front of Comet, who finally managed to hurl his dictionary into the Heir. Recoiling, Discord brought huge spears of metal and wood bursting out of the warship around him to absorb the oncoming attacks as he regained his balance. Leaping over his temporary shield, he lashed out at Star Swirl, who was barely able to slow Discord enough to get out of the way. By this time, Twilight had caught up to Discord, and he was unable to pursue Star Swirl as he fended off Twilight's attacks. "This is starting to get old," Discord sighed, leaping away from Twilight and using his magic, burning up everything around him. The ponies were thrown backwards as a tornado of magic whirled around him, devastating everything it touched.

"Don't let up," Comet said. "We need to keep up the pressure."

"I know that," Twilight said, firing her fail-safe spell at the magical inferno, as a wavy beam of magic shone out of her horn and into the vortex of fire. Sadly, and to her complete surprise, her fail-safe spell failed dramatically, as Discord's magic tore it apart, leaping out towards its source. Before she could react, Star Swirl was in front of her, his shield absorbing the brunt of Discord's attack. "S-Star Swirl! Get out of the way, you're not-"

"Let me show you how a fail-safe spell is supposed to look," Star Swirl said confidently, as he cast a mighty tri-coloured beam of brilliant light at Discord, engulfing the entire magical storm in a warm, friendly glow. Twilight was taken aback at the sheer amount of magic emanating from the unicorn in front of her, who suddenly looked much older and wiser to her eyes. Of course, if she thought about it, she would have expected nothing less from the greatest magician Equestria had ever seen. With a brilliant light, the storm faded and died, as the fail-safe spell negated any and all magic within it, leaving just Discord standing in the centre of a devastated wreck. "... that's about all I can do right now," Star Swirl panted, clearly drained from the spell.

"That's plenty, Swirly," Luna said, as she and Celestia took their positions in front of him. "Shall we, sis?" Celestia nodded, and leapt forwards as Luna unleashed another almighty volley of arrows, appearing out of every crevice and shadow and aiming directly at Discord, who vainly attempted to dodge them while fending off Celestia's staff. Several embedded themselves in his legs, before being destroyed by his magic. He stepped backwards, falling through a gap in space and landing upside down in front of Celestia, who jabbed her staff into his stomach, as another hundred arrows stabbed into him. He used his own magic to teleport away, with Celestia close behind him, once again finding himself by Acapella. Swinging his axe madly towards her, he was once again caught off guard by Celestia, who knocked him away while Acapella rushed towards the unbalanced Heir and stabbed him with her cane. In response, he kicked her away and leapt up above her, only to be intercepted by Twilight.

"For fuck's sake," Discord complained as Twilight caught him off guard and managed to stab into his arm with her quill. "You ponies are starting to piss me off." Leaping away from Twilight, he once again teleported away from his attackers, this time appearing far above the remains of the warship. "It's a good thing I had this in reserve." With that, he reached into his sylladex and released an item he had kept there for a very long time.

"... Is that..." Comet began, before stopping because it was perfectly clear exactly what it was. "Well. Shit."

***

"Here we are," I say, as we finally burst into the stylish and exquisitely organised room 240044492291185520244740319123850321940258237447921013742302101427294. In fact, the room is deliberately arranged in such a way that it creates a powerful magic charm to protect the items stored within. If I want to proceed with my plan, I will need to correct this. Luckily, there is a back door to the charm. As Diamond lowers me to the ground, I slowly and purposefully twist a candle stand 180 degrees, and gingerly unfold an intricate origami flower. That should do it. Satisfied that the lock has been safely undone, I equip my halberd and proceed to utterly destroy a large cabinet. "I'm feeling a bit better now," I offer as an explanation when Diamond gives me a strange look. She has given me a lot of strange looks since we met, which I suppose isn't so unreasonable. I suppose my actions have been rather haphazard so far, and I am not sure she was entirely satisfied with my explanation of why it was necessary to run ten miles down that corridor. Especially as my next instruction was to turn around and run back again.

"Please," Diamond sighs. "Please just tell me there is a reason why we did that. The fight must be over by now."

"Not at all," I say. "It's only just beginning to get interesting, in fact. It helps that the time we spent finding this room was mostly undone through the various time jumps we travelled through along the way. In fact, right now, my friends are in a bit of a tight spot. Of course, I understand that you're neutral in this, but I'm obviously rather biased. So, thanks for helping me out here."

"I just want this to be over with," Diamond says. "But whatever. What do you want me to do?" I nod, and walk over to a nearby cupboard.

"We're not losing too badly just yet," I say. "But that won't stay true for long. We need all of our strength to defeat Discord. Even the strength which is rather unavailable at the moment."

"You mean everyone that's died?" Diamond asks. I nod. "... Don’t tell me that's why you've brought me here."

"Really, what we need is Twilight and Celestia," I say. "Together they can do this, although to be honest it won't make any difference at the moment. Things are really just about to become so terrible for them, that not even bringing everypony back will help. We need a weapon. A weapon powerful enough to take him out once and for all." Diamond looks away uneasily. "I don't like it, but that's our only option."

"... So we're here for this weapon?" Diamond asks.

"No, Twilight already has the weapon," I say, as I open the cupboard and take out the large bottle stored within. "But it's useless without this." I show her the bottle, and she frowns in confusion. "Just trust me," I assure her. "This is the ammunition for the most powerful weapon in paradox space."

***

"You see, I wasn't just messing around trying to make you play basketball all day," Discord elaborated, as his own Dersite warship approached the ponies, who had now drifted alongside the entrance to the hotel. Entrance being a rather loose description - giant gap in the wall being a better one. "I was slowly and purposefully giving myself all of the grist. All of it." Lined along the deck of the ship was a huge regiment of over a hundred Dersite soldiers. Not that Dersite soldiers were anything to worry about.

"And...? What did you make with all that grist?" Celestia asked. Discord grinned, and snapped his fingers. At once, every soldier brought out the same small glistening item and held it up for the ponies to see. Every single one was holding a 25-tier prototyped Queen's ring. "... You... that's..."

"That, my little ponies," Discord said, laughing uncontrollably, "is checkmate." With that, every soldier put on their ring. With that, every single soldier underwent a terrible transformation. With that, over a hundred 25-tier knights were standing before the ponies.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" Comet began, as a hundred knights - still much less of a threat than the King, but still far too numerous to be reasonable - charged towards the ponies, fangs and claws and wings and daggers and robotic enhancements and spikes and dice and giant ominous rabbit heads and who knew what else bared at them.

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!" Comet finished, as Celestia teleported everypony inside the Infinite Hotel, which shook dramatically as somewhere above them a hundred demigod-level beings stormed into the building through the various exposed corridors, tearing up its infinite expanses as they blazed through the structure. "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FU-" He briefly paused his swearing to cry in pain as Twilight smacked his head. "... Fuck."

"Why did we run away?" Ember asked, a confused look on his face. Comet smacked him on the head.

"Emmy. Quiet time," Comet said.

"OK, this is bad, I'll admit," Twilight said nervously. "But we have an infinite structure to work with, and none of those soldiers alone are unbeatable. We just need to isolate them and pick them off one by one."

"Firstly, we can't keep that up for all of them," Acapella pointed out. "Secondly, they're not unbeatable, since they're mere soldiers, but they're only just below Queen Level. I don't know if we really have enough firepower to beat one. Not anymore."

"Hm...." Twilight frowned, as if something had just occurred to her. "I wonder."

"You can wonder later," Star Swirl said. "Something's coming." They all followed his gaze down the corridor; where in the infinite distance a blaze of light could be seen slowly growing. In an instant, they were hidden, shadows wrapping around them and hiding them away in the corners of the alcove where they had appeared. "Are we really going to do this?"

"Yes," Luna whispered. "It'll be fine." Half a second later, at impossible speed, a group of ten knights hurtled past them, and in that instant they made their move. The knight at the back of the group was suddenly enveloped in darkness, falling through countless gaps in time and space and landing somewhere else entirely. The other knights instantly came to a halt, glancing behind them. The corridor was in flames, which was due to their passing through it, but the missing knight was nowhere to be seen. They spent a few minutes searching for any sign of him or the ponies, but to no avail. The ponies had already teleported away after the wayward knight.

"OK, remember guys, burst damage," Comet said as they appeared in the large auditorium in which Celestia had deposited the knight. "We need this over with quickly and quietly." Nodding, Ember and Twilight leapt down to the knight, and each charged towards him from different directions. He drew his sword against Twilight, parrying her quill, while his tail swatted at Ember and prevented him from getting any closer. "Luna, Celestia, you're up."

"We know that," Luna said, sighing. Equipping her bow, she fired a volley of arrows towards the knight, who noticed them at the last second and jumped away. Swiftly catching him in a gap, Celestia threw him back into the path of the arrows, which stabbed into his carapace while Twilight hacked into his neck with her sword. Breaking through the thinner carapace, she managed to cut into the knight itself, but before she was able to kill him, his large, spiked tail knocked her flying away into the seats of the auditorium. Clearly wounded but no less determined, the knight got to his feet and began to charge towards Acapella.

"Why is always me they go for?" Acapella complained, as she weaved around the Knight's attacks, jabbing into it with her cane whenever she got an opportunity. "Well... not like I mind." Dodging close to the knight, the Witch of Blood brought up her hoof and punched the knight's open wound.

FRAYMOTIF
[BLOOD]
GOREPOCALYPSE

What followed was to follow the ponies who witnessed it to their graves, and it is probably best not to describe it in too much detail. It is enough, perhaps, to simply say that the knight stopped being a knight and started being an explosion. An explosion of a surprisingly large volume of blood. Everypony was silent for a few minutes, as they took in what had just happened. Acapella, the only one to not have blood scattered over her, smiled happily.

"Well, that went pretty well."

"... Ember?" Comet asked quietly.

"What?" Ember responded, not taking his eyes off of Acapella.

"Do you mind finishing them from now on?"

"No, I don't mind," Ember said.

"... OK, whatever, let's go. Sitting around being scared isn't going to solve anything," Twilight said. Acapella blinked, and tilted her head in confusion. "Never mind. Comet, you can let go of time now, we're moving on." Comet nodded, and released the time lock he had placed on the room. The sounds of battle now travelled outwards through the hotel, although the ponies were long gone before anyone would be able to investigate.

***

"In here!" I cry, and we are barely able to duck into the nearby alcove before twenty knights tear past us, engulfing the corridor in flames behind them. Coughing, we stumble through a door into a large open dining room which is so far untouched by the flames. It's a damn good thing this building is infinite, given how much of a beating it's been taking lately. I suppose the bright side is that, mathematically speaking, no matter what happens to it, most of it is still untouched. "It's going to get a lot harder to move around now," I say. "We'll have to be more careful."

"But can't they travel through time gaps like we do?" Diamond points out. "We should have been running into them all this time, surely."

"No, I'm Pinkie," I correct her. "And yes, that's true, but most of our routes so far have kept us away from all the fighting. Besides which, the later in the timeline we are, the more parts of the hotel will be on fire or destroyed."

"Well, where are we even going now?"

"To find Twilight," I say. "It's not very easy because they keep jumping all over the place to evade Discord and the knights. But I'm sure we can catch them if we hurry."

"Great," Diamond says joylessly. "Just great." Before we can continue, however, the wall to our left explodes and a knight flies out of it, knocking several tables into each other as he spins on the spot to face us. "Oh. Well." I sigh dramatically.

"Honestly, we'll never make it with distractions like this." As the knight charges towards me, I leap over it and equip my halberd.

FRAYMOTIF
[VOID]
OBFRUSTRATION

"Now, let's carry on," I say as I land safely on the ground. Diamond blinks.

"Huh? Weren't you just fighting something?" I look around and shrug.

"Must be your imagination."

***

"This is getting... a little difficult," Comet panted, as the twentieth knight fell to the ground. "I really don't think we're going to win like this."

"Stop bitching about it, this is easy," Ember said. Comet smacked him on the head.

"Emmy. Quiet time," Comet said.

"It's fine," Celestia said. "We can rest a moment and catch our breath, if we need to. We can't give up, not when we're this close."

"Damn it all," Star Swirl said. "How did things get reversed like this? I thought we had a pretty good chance."

"We still do," Luna said. "There's no reason to-" she cut off, as the wall of the chamber they had been fighting in exploded. "Comet! Don't tell me you let-"

"Of course I didn't!" Comet shouted back immediately, jumping to his feet as a legion of knights streamed into the room. "Celestia? Get us out of here!" Nodding, Celestia teleported them to the next nearest chamber.

"That was too close," Twilight said. "What are we-" she cut off, as the exact same thing happened again. "What?! You have got to be kidding me!"

"If that's how it's going to be," Celestia said, gritting her teeth in annoyance, "let's try this." With that, she teleported the entire group as far away as she could manage, several thousand miles to the left. They finally appeared in a large open hall. "Now, Twilight, send us back in time as far as you can." Nodding, Twilight sent the group several days backwards in time, to the same hall where they had been previously. Finally, the ponies relaxed.

"OK," Comet said, "what the fuck was that. Once I could understand, but twice in a row is a bit suspicious."

"It's fine now, at least," Acapella said. "We're safe for a little while now."

"True," Comet said, looking around. "At least - wait. Wait a minute. I swear there was a curtain pulled across that wall before we came back in time." Everyone followed his gaze.

"Was it? I wasn't really paying attention since it was just for a few seconds," Twilight said, shrugging. "Does it matter?"

"Of course it matters, why would someone do something so pointless?" Comet frowned. "... Everyone get away from that wall. Just in case." Several strange looks were aimed his way. "... I don't like this. I really don't like this."

"What are you on edge about?" Luna asked. "Nothing's going to-" she cut off.

The entire wall in question exploded outwards, knocking the ponies to the ground as a horde of knights stormed into the room. And there, in the centre of the wall, flanked by several large knights, stood Discord grinning evilly.

"There's nothing more irritating than chasing a teleporting pony through an infinitely large building," Discord said. "And there's nothing more satisfying than finally catching that pony in your trap."

"Shit. Celestia?" Comet asked, glancing hopefully towards the mage. She smiled and shook her head.

"Give me a fucking break, will you?" She sighed. "... I could save all of you. It takes far more energy to teleport myself than others."

"You're not doing that," Luna said. "That's about as heroic as you can get."

"It's fine," Celestia said, stopping when Twilight put a hoof on her shoulder.

"You're needed," Twilight said. "You're able to keep us alive far more easily than I am. I'll do it."

"Figured the same applied to you," Celestia said, smiling weakly. "But I can't let you die." Discord clapped slowly, groaning loudly as he stepped through the gap in the wall and into the room.

"Well, if you're quite finished, I'll be killing you now." He paused. "Unless you really are heartless enough to let one of your friends sacrifice themselves to save you." He shrugged happily. "No matter. I do this once, and one of your mass-teleporters sacrifices themselves. I do it again, the other one sacrifices themself. Then what? You're just a group of ponies who can't do shit to stop me, and I hunt you down at my leisure." He peered at Comet and Ember. "Well, I suppose you can probably save yourselves, can't you? You've never seemed to have any trouble sending yourself through time. Not that you can send others a far enough distance to matter, of course. And Ember just seems to have limitless energy for applying to stuff that annoys me. Or that annoys anyone, for that matter."

"... Twilight," Comet said. Twilight looked at him. "You've talked with Celestia about that plan, right?" She nodded. "... and? Would it work?"

"I...maybe." Twilight sighed. "Yes, it would now that we're so high level, and that we're inside the centre of this maelstrom of bad ideas. But there's no way we can do it when we're this tired."

"OK." Comet closed his eyes. "So all you need is for me to buy you time, right?"

"Uh... I guess? Wait, what are you going to-" she fell silent, as it became immediately clear what he was going to do.

"It's fine," Comet said, as a hundred other Comets appeared next to him. "I'm somewhat more expendable than all of you. I can't do much to help by myself, but I'm never by myself when I have myself. Right?" And with that, a hundred Comets did their Timey things.

***

"Huh." I stop suddenly, and Diamond pauses and looks back at me with concern. "I... oh, I see. Sorry, that had me worried for a minute there, Twilight and everyone just stopped."

"Why?" Diamond asks.

"They're running on a different time-line to us at the moment," I explain. "From outside it seems as if they're frozen, but actually they've been accelerated to several times faster than usual time. Comet's doing, with clones I should imagine. Typical Page of Time strategy, using time clones with individually small amounts of energy to simulate having a larger energy supply. They are the class with the largest 'potential' after all."

"How do you know it's him?" Diamond asks, as I resume our journey through the hotel. So far we have remained safe from attacks, but I am taking a longer route on purpose to prevent such encounters.

"He's the only one outside the bubble," I say. "The point of accelerating their passage through time is no doubt to speed their recovery or something like that. In the meantime he has to stay outside to maintain it."

"But wait," Diamond says. "Doesn't that mean he's fighting off Discord by himself?"

"Not at all," I say. "A Page may not pack much of a punch, but an army of time clones is one of the most effective stalling strategies in the entire game. But with that in mind, he is simply stalling. We need to hurry - we're needed more than ever right now."

"You say 'we'," Diamond says, "but I don't recall ever saying I was on your side."

"Doesn't matter whose side you're on," I say. "You'll want to be there."

"If you say so."

***

"It's awfully cute how you're struggling in the most painful way possible like this," Discord said, as another Comet clone was beaten down by a knight and barely managed to time travel away in time.

"Ouch," Comet commented. "I remember that one, that was close."

"You didn't think to warn him, then?" Comet asked. Comet gave him an odd look.

"Of course I fucking didn't. I think this fight's just a bit serious, yeah? Let's try to stay focused and not forget every fucking thing we know about time travel."

"You guys crack me up, you really do," Discord said, finally leaping forwards and almost killing two more Comets before they too escaped. "But enough is enough. I don't know what Twilight and Celestia are planning but I'm not going to let it happen."

"You think?" Comet asked, as another hundred reinforcements appeared. "You'll have to figure out which is the oldest version of me before you can stop me. There's literally no way you can properly kill any of the younger versions."

"So that's your game, is it?" Discord sighed. "I hope this is worth it, you know." He kicked the nearest Comet in the stomach, catching him off balance as a knight cut deep into his leg. "Oh, that looked painful. Was it? What about this?" Rushing towards the Comet that had been speaking, Discord leapt around the dictionary that vainly flew towards him and smashed the end of his axe into Comet's head. Flying backwards and colliding with the wall, Comet coughed painfully as Discord charged towards him. "Did that hurt?" Instead of answering, Comet simply used the last of his strength to time travel to safety.

"Of course it did," Comet said, crushing a few knights between his dictionary and another Comet's dictionary. "So?"

"So, why are you trying so hard?" Discord asked. "Is this really the best option for you?"

"It's my only option," Comet said. "It doesn't matter how much I get beaten up as long as I can recover before coming back in time to fight again."

"Yes... true, as long as you can," Discord said. "Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. I'd be careful, if I were you. This is such a setup for a heroic death."

"Like I'd let myself die just like this," Comet said. "Maybe I'd be worried if you were actually trying to stop me."

"Oh? Like this, you mean?" Discord asked, as he unleashed another magical storm, tearing away at knight and Comet alike. One by one, the various Comets disappeared to safety, as the knights dropped away like flies before the sheer power of Discord's magic. Eventually, the storm dissipated, and only one Comet was left, covered in cuts and burns. "Hm? What's wrong, why don't you fly away?" He grinned. "Oh, that's right; you're the last one left, aren't you? And someone needs to stay behind to protect Twilight and Celestia, right?"

"Damn it..." Comet coughed. "I can't leave until my reinforcements get here."

"Oh, yes, that's right, your reinforcements... you mean, you after you've healed up?" Discord laughed. "What do you suppose that means if there aren't any more?" Despite the situation, Comet laughed.

"Yeah... what does that mean? I'll tell you what it means." Behind him, the bubble containing the others began to glow. "It means that just me is enough to finish this." With that, the bubble collapsed, and the others returned to their normal passage of time.

"Comet! Fuck! What happened!?" Luna asked. "What-"

"Twilight." Comet said, silencing Luna's question. "Do it. Quickly, please." Twilight nodded.

"Wait a minute," Discord said, "what are you going to-" He fell silent as Twilight and Celestia were engulfed in a flash of blinding light.

FRAYMOTIF
[TIME && SPACE]
PANTHEONIC PIANOFORTE

***

Throughout time and space, jumping across the void through the gaps in the hotel that held the three sessions in alignment, the Mages of Time and Space weaved their spells.

On Skaia, the ruins of Prospit shifted slightly, as the broken bodies of two ponies disappeared from what was previously believed to be their final resting place. On Derse, the purple pyjama clad form of a dead pegasus made a similarly unexpected disappearance, along with several more bodies from other planets elsewhere.

In Comet's old session, two dead pegasi were deposited upon two slabs of stone. In Twilight's, another three ponies received similar treatment, and a fourth was deposited in Celestia's old session. One by one, the mistakes of the past faded away, as one by one Skaia revived its fallen champions.

"Summer?" Destiny asked, as the Maid of Rage and the Heir of Light appeared on Skaia's surface. "... what happened? Everything feels so..."

"I'm not sure why we're here," Summer said, "but we're alive, for now. And for some reason I get the feeling it'll be a hell of a fight to stay that way." Destiny looked around her at the peaceful battlefield.

"What do you mean?" she asked, but before Summer could answer, the two gods were once again transportalised away.

Meanwhile, in another session, another three gods were rising. The Rogue of Breath, the Witch of Heart, and the Knight of Life. The Seer of Space was waiting, after having been sent there from yet another session.

"Rainbow? Applejack? Rarity!?" Fluttershy cried. "Are... are we really alive?"

"I think so," Rainbow said, scratching her head in confusion. "I... wow, it feels like I've missed out on a lot."

"Never mind that," Applejack said. "... where's Twi?"

"Now that you mention it, we kind of lost track of her a while back," Rarity said. "I hope she's OK."

"I'm sure she's-" Fluttershy began, before all four ponies were once again sent flying through time and space, as the mage's spells drew them back to where they were needed.

***

With the most triumphant of triumphant fanfares, the light surrounding Twilight and Celestia exploded, fading away to reveal their revived friends. Discord blinked. Then he looked around at the knights he had brought with him, killed by either his own magic or Comet's interference. Then he looked back at the twelve Gods - and Star Swirl - staring angrily back at him.

"And that," Comet breathed happily, as the group equipped their various weapons, "is check fucking mate."

"Checkmate?" Discord blinked, and then snapped his fingers. In an instant, the room transformed into a large, familiar chequered Battlefield. Around him amassed the remainder of his forces, still a good hundred knights strong. "Oh no, my dear ponies, this game is just beginning."

Chapter 45

View Online

Far above us, the distant sounds of battle can be heard echoing through the infinite expanse of the hotel. Swearing under my breath, I equip my missile launcher and blast a hole in the ceiling above us, leaping up through it and sprinting forwards. The time has long since passed where I have given a damn about the integrity of the building. Since things began to kick off, the structure has suffered explosions, partial wall collapses, entire wall collapses, floors caving in, raging fires, a goddamn nuclear explosion devastating an entire face of the cube, and a horde of realtors banging incessantly on the front door. If one little hole in the floor is going to finish it off then I will gladly take responsibility for putting this train wreck of a hotel out of its misery.

I apologise if I'm coming across as rather exasperated.

"We have to hurry!" I cry back to Diamond, who is beginning to lag behind with a decidedly unconcerned look on her face.

"If you say so," she says, entirely unconcerned by the dire turn events have taken. For someone who isn't taking any sides she seems rather unfazed by Discord's success. It is lucky, at least, that they are now staying in the same place. It will be easy to find them. It is rather unlucky; however, that the place they are staying at was rather far away from where Diamond and I had been at the time. It will be rather difficult to find them alive.

"... I don't understand you," I say, charging down a corridor and making a sudden left turn into the next room. "Since Diamond and Silver turned into you, you just... seem a little defeatist? I guess?" Opening a cupboard and falling through it into a large corridor several miles above, I quickly glance around me and opt to take the direction which has the most things on fire. Behind me, Diamond is finally beginning to hurry, if only to keep up with my increasingly desperate movement.

"What do you expect? I'm the Sylph of Hope and Doom, you know." I glance back at Diamond, but her face remains rather unconcerned. "When you combine two opposing aspects like that, one of two things can happen. Either they give you complete control over both halves of a dichotomy, or the two opposites cancel each other out. And I'm a passive 'healing' class, if you want to put it into a fixed category." She sighs. "I can't give someone Hope without cursing them with Doom. What does 'restoring Doom' even mean? How would that ever be useful?"

"So, to summarise, you're feeling insecure," I say, bounding up a flight of stairs and ignoring Diamond's protests. "Maybe you need to spend a bit more time thinking about what it is you really want. It's tricky, really, because dual aspects is a thing that never happens. I mean, really, it just doesn't happen. All I'm going to say, is someone who can restore Hope in the face of absolute Doom is pretty powerful."

"You say that, but you have even less of an idea what it means, don't you?" I look back at her and wink.

"I know everything," I say confidently. "And I advise you to think about what it is you can do."

"I did my thinking," Diamond says bitterly. "Ten billion trillion eons of it."

"Or all of half a second," I say. "Who's to say how long it really took you to ascend? If I were you I would take a few moments longer to think about whom you are and why you're here." Diamond falls silent for a few minutes, while we rush down damaged corridors and leap over collapsed staircases.

"All I wanted was for everyone to be happy," she says quietly. "That's all I've ever wanted."

"Well then," I say confidently, "helping me save everyone is probably a good place to start."

***

"Well, this is no good," Discord said, knocking away Ember's hammer with his umbrella and immediately sending a fireball chasing after him, only for it to be blown apart by a gust of wind. "You're working together again. How boring," he said, as Rainbow charged towards him at several times the speed of sound. "Oh?" Leaping towards her, he stabbed his weapon forwards only for Rainbow to leap to the side, a huge gust of wind forcing the umbrella to turn inside out and fly away. "..."

"That's what you get for using such a stupid weapon," Rainbow said, twisting in mid-air and charging towards Discord again with a huge blast of air, which slammed into him and sent him painfully crashing into the ground.

"Bloody ponies," Discord said bitterly, as he suddenly leapt towards Rainbow, equipping a longsword and stabbing her before she could react. But in an instant, Applejack was there, knocking Discord back with her scythe as she did her Lifey thing. "Oh come on, that's just boring if you're going to heal up every time I scratch you." He glanced around. "And you! Stop killing my knights!"

"Oh, sorry," Ember said, as he crushed the space containing the nearest knight into the space of a marble. "My hand slipped." The battle was rather drawn out, and the knights were putting up a fight, but it was clear that before long it would be back to just Discord.

"Well, if that's how it's going to be," Discord muttered, stretching his arms in preparation, "I think I'll have to put a stop to all this co-ordinated fighting you're doing."

"And how are you going to do that when you can barely keep us away?" Twilight asked, dashing towards him with her sword at the ready.

"Fool." Snapping his fingers, the ground beneath Twilight liquefied, hardening around her legs as she fell into it, sticking her in place. "I think you've all forgotten exactly where you are." With another snap, the light all around them suddenly disappeared and they found themselves in total darkness. "This is my world that you're fighting in. My own little reality marble, if you will. I control everything in here."

"Everyone, just stay calm!" Twilight shouted. There was no reply. "... Guys?" A snapping noise echoed around her, and the lights suddenly came back on. She was back in the room they had originally been fighting in, before Discord had taken them to the battlefield. And she was alone.

***

"H... Hello?" Fluttershy called out of the window into the darkness, but no one replied. To be perfectly honest, she wasn't certain whether to be worried or relieved about this. She was sitting, alone, in a small watchtower, which was empty except for a small wooden table... She knew it was a tower because, far below her, she could faintly see almost pitch-black waves lapping at a dark shore. Thick clouds covered the sky above, and not even the faintest breeze was blowing. "... Everyone? Rarity?" Although she was calling for them, Fluttershy realised she was whispering for fear of attracting unwanted attention. There could be anything waiting out in the shadows, after all. "No, stop it," she said to herself, shaking her head and huddling into the corner of the room. "Don't scare yourself. You're fine. You're a God now, right? What kind of God is afraid of the dark?" The tower creaked, and Fluttershy let out a high pitched shriek before leaping under the table. "I guess that answers that..."

She was so afraid that it was a full minute before she opened her eyes and realised that a message had popped up in front of her.

[insanityPrelude began narrating to reticentButterfly]

IP: Fluttershy, it's OK! None of that is real, really!

IP: It's all an illusion. Just like how the Battlefield was an illusion.

IP: I mean, it's still a rather solid illusion but that's not the point!

IP: I need you to find a way out of there. You're the only one who can see the way. Especially since Celestia isn't in any shape to be doing her Spacey thing after what she just did.

IP: I need to help Twilight in the meantime, so please find your way out!

IP: You can do it. :)

[insanityPrelude stopped narrating to reticentButterfly]

"That's easy for you to say..." Fluttershy said quietly. But she supposed there wasn't much point in hiding and waiting for the end. Especially if the others needed her help. "I can do this!" Fluttershy said, a little louder than before, rising to her hooves triumphantly. She had to try. She could do this.

That was when the zombie ponies started trying to force their way into the tower.

***

"Tch, scare tactics," Rainbow said dismissively as she blew the giant spider out of the way and kicked the door open, allowing her and Rarity to rush out of the mansion they had found themselves in and out into the blindingly bright sun. "Honestly, what good does splitting us up like this do if he can't actually create anything strong enough to hurt us?"

"That's easy for you to say," Rarity said, still feeling rather ill after the gauntlet of excessively proportioned insects they had fought through. "What about Fluttershy?"

"She'll be fine. She can work up the courage," Rainbow said with certainty. "In the meantime we've got to try and find the way out of here."

"I thought that Fluttershy was going to find us and bring us out," Rarity said. "Is that really all the confidence you have in her?"

"I said she could work up the courage," Rainbow said as she and Rarity took to the sky. "I didn't say when."

"Aren't you being rather hard on her?" Rarity asked, as they scoured what had turned out to be a rather dull planet. Most of the landscape consisted of sand, and the parts that didn't consisted of animal bones. "She had to cope with both you and I dying, you know."

"To be honest, Rarity, when I think about me dying, I'm the one I feel the most sorry for, you know." Rarity gave her a look, and Rainbow sighed. "... yeah. I know." With renewed determination, she sped up and darted forwards. "Right. We're going to find our way out of here and help Fluttershy!"

"What happened to her being fine?"

"She will be," Rainbow assured her. "Because we're going to find her and make damn sure she is."

***

"Not that Ah'd rather be alone," Applejack said, "but Ah do wonder why you and Ah always seem to get put together in this kind of situation." Summer looked around the thick, dark forest, and shrugged.

"Really? I hadn't noticed." Reading over Pinkie's message one more time, she closed her laptop. "In any case, from what Pinkie said, there isn't a whole lot we can do. We could try to find the exit, but that sounds like it'll be a lot of work. And it'd all be for nothing if Fluttershy finds us first."

"What do you suggest we do instead?" Applejack asked. Summer thought for a moment.

"So. Discord's thrown us all into these little pocket universes in order to stop us fighting together. Presumably so he can pick us all off one by one or something, I don't know. Which is probably why it's night time, right?" She looked at Applejack for confirmation, but the Knight just shook her head. She didn't have a clue what Summer was talking about. "Like, it's night time, so we can't see as well. So there's less detail that needs to render, or whatever the magical equivalent is. It's night time here and probably in most of the other bubbles, so that there's less detail for Discord to create."

"Can you get to the point?"

"I suggest we spread out as much as possible," Summer said. "If we cover enough ground then he'll have to invest more effort into generating the illusion, which means he won't have as much energy to fight us with."

"Are you sure something like that'd work?" Applejack asked incredulously.

"Yeah, this'll work," Summer said. "I mean, it's just like videogames, really." Not waiting for Applejack's confused question about what exactly that meant, Summer leapt into the sky and flew at full pelt in a random direction, with a startled Applejack barely behind her. "No, AJ, you need to go in a different direction so we cover more ground.” She paused. "Well, I guess it doesn't matter. Plus, I'd rather not be alone, so... yeah, this still works." With that, she promptly crashed headfirst into an invisible wall, plummeting to the ground and being caught by Applejack moments before crashing into a pile of rocks.

"Summer!" Applejack cried, resting the Heir onto the ground and healing her. Sitting up and rubbing her head, Summer poked experimentally at the air in front of her, finding an invisible force knocking her hand back.

"Are you fucking kidding me," Summer sighed, and shouted up at the sky. "Now, that's just lazy game design! At least put a fucking FENCE at the boundary or something!"

"Ah really have no idea what's going on," Applejack admitted, "but Ah guess your idea ain't working." Summer was going to reply, but suddenly jumped up with a serious expression, her rifle already raised up at the group of knights cautiously advancing on them. "Oh, would you look at that," Applejack sighed, equipping her scythe. "Company."

***

"What did you do?" Twilight shouted, charging at Discord with her quill slashing wildly in front of her. Unconcerned, Discord hopped into the air, cartwheeling over her head and firing magic bullets at her as he fell to the ground. Forming a weak shield, Twilight absorbed the bullets, before charging again.

"Honestly, Twilight, you're fighting terribly right now," Discord said in a bored voice, snapping his fingers and causing the floor beneath Twilight to erupt upwards in a spear of wood and metal. Twilight barely managed to escape into the past, reappearing a moment later on the other side of the spear and continued her charge. "OK, that was pretty good. But what would you do if I was to, I don't know..." With another snap of his fingers, chains shot out from the ceiling of the room and wrapped themselves around Twilight's legs. "And then..." rushing forwards, Discord equipped a steel mace littered with spines and sharpened edges. “Well, Twilight? What do you do in this situation?" Reaching Twilight, he swung down with the mace. An instant later, the mace buried itself into the floor as Twilight swung away on one of the chains, the others instantly advanced a million years and decayed into dust. Severing the last chain and dropping to the ground, Twilight span around to face Discord. "Oh, very good. I didn't expect you to be able to do any Timey things for a while, but I suppose you've got better stamina than I gave you credit for."

"Answer the question, Discord," Twilight said coldly. "What did you do with my friends?"

"Well, that's the question, isn't it?" Discord said, as he and Twilight both began walking slowly towards the centre of the room. "What if I said I'd killed them? What if I told you that I'd transported them all into the exact same place and instantly killed all of them?" Twilight froze. "Would you give up, Twilight? Would you drop to your knees and beg me to bring them back?" An instant later, he was surrounded by Twilight's time clones, all charging towards him with their quills at the ready. His eyes immediately drawn to the most badly injured of clones, Discord drew his sword and parried its attack while filling the entire room with an inferno of pure energy, tearing at the other clones and forcing them into the past. Twilight collapsed onto the ground, gasping for air and wincing in pain at her burns. "No, I didn't really expect you to." He shrugged. "I haven't killed them, for what it's worth."

"Fuck... you..." Twilight gasped, crying out in pain as she rolled backwards and out of the way of a swing from Discord's mace, which obliterated much of the floor. "Where are they?"

"Let me make one thing clear, Twilight," Discord said quietly. "I'm going to kill you and all of your friends. But I'm not going to use any cheap tricks to do it. I'm going to do it slowly and methodically. Think of it as a compliment. I'm acknowledging your abilities. I'm repaying all the headaches you've given me thus far. Most of those were, to be fair, Mild's fault, but he's not here right now." The question of where, exactly, Mild was keeping himself these days drifted across the room, but fortunately was ignored. "I've trapped your friends inside several little pocket universes. Little worlds. I've even thrown some enemies in for good measure, so they can have a proper little adventure while they're at it. It's just like Sburb all over again." He smiled thinly. "Do you see?"

"You're picking us off one by one?" Twilight sighed. "That's pretty pathetic, to be honest. I was expecting something a bit more impressive, coming from you." Discord recoiled, clutching at his heart with his claw.

"Oh, that hurt, Twilight. That really hurt, right in the feels." He groaned dramatically. "Well, I'd better call off that idea. I can't believe I just got burned by Twilight Sparkle, that's embarrassing. Still, a bad idea is a bad idea; let's just have a full-blown battle royale." Resuming his serious expression, he snapped his fingers and the air around Twilight ignited in a colossal fireball. "Or not. Please, Twilight, don't insult my intelligence. I have a tendency to remove limbs when you do that."

***

"This isn't good," Destiny remarked, as she and Ember finished off the remaining knights.

"It isn't? I love it," Ember said, leaning on his hammer while he caught his breath. "Some proper fighting, like I was hoping for."

"Yes, that's great for you," Destiny said, drawing her katana out of the last knight and knocking the body to the ground. "And I admit I did enjoy that. But what about Fluttershy and the others? If they're fighting a lot of these knights as well, then..."

"Yeah, I know," Ember shrugged. "But I doubt he's sent this many after the others."

"What makes you think that?" Destiny asked, as the doors to the empty hall where they had been fighting were thrown open and a fresh wave of twenty more knights poured in.

"I get the feeling most of them are being sent to us," Ember said. "For whatever reason."

"I hope you're right," Destiny noted. "Anyone besides us wouldn't have much hope."

As it happened, Ember was entirely right, which was very disconcerting.

***

"Say, Swirl," Comet said thoughtfully, as he and Star Swirl meandered past the endless forest of bookshelves. "Where did you learn to cast a fail-safe spell?"

"Why do you ask?" Star Swirl asked, absently picking a book off of a nearby shelf and glancing at the title, before throwing it away with a bemused expression. "It's hardly an unknown spell."

"I've never seen it used like that," Comet said. "I can see why you're-" he paused. "Never mind. I was just impressed, I guess. So was Twilight."

"Was she?" Star Swirl shook his head. "She's an odd girl, isn't she? To be honest, she worries me at times. It's too much power for one pony, if you ask me." He thought for a moment. "Not that it matters. You're all too powerful for my liking. It's all I can do to keep up."

"You're doing an excellent job in that regard," Comet said. "For the record, Twilight is carrying the most powerful weapon in the universe... in any universe, and if we want to get through this we have to let her use it."

"And what's that?" Star Swirl asked curiously. Comet gave him a look.

"If I said 'friendship' you wouldn't believe me," he said gravely. "But that wouldn't be too far off..." Turning away, he continued down the infinite corridor in search of a way out.

***

"Bored now," Celestia stated. "I want to go home. Or be fed scones." Luna stopped and looked back at her. The two ponies had been wandering the ruined remains of what appeared to be Prospit for some time, and had grown no closer to figuring out how to get out of the illusion that - according to Pinkie Pie - they were now trapped in.

"I don't have any scones," Luna said with a sigh. "Come on, you're being ridiculous."

"No," Celestia said, kicking a loose stone indignantly. "I'm not being ridiculous. This game is being ridiculous. What the hell is happening? Why are we going through this bullshit when we're so close to ending this? Why..." her rant fell short as she ran out of steam, collapsing to the ground. "Why are we even fighting Golden?" Luna's face fell. So that was the problem.

"It's OK," Luna said. "There's got to be something we can do to help Golden. But nothing's going to get done while he's trying to kill us, is it? First things first we need to get out of here, and then we can stop him. And then, we can try to undo this mess." Celestia looked up at her sister, who seemed so much wiser and more dignified than her. She was the older sister, damn it, she was supposed to be the wise one.

"... of course, you're right." Celestia got to her feet. "Sorry. I just slipped for a moment there." Luna put a hoof on her sister's shoulder and smiled.

"Don't worry about it," she said. "Now, let's go."

***

Fluttershy knew where she needed to go. It was obvious once she had actually tried to figure it out. The flimsy seal placed over the pocket dimension was easily allowing space from outside to flood in, almost drowning her senses once she had figured out how to perceive it. That didn't solve her main problem, however, which was that there was now a horde of zombie ponies between her and the way out. And if there was one thing she really couldn't stand, it was zombies. And dragons. And really mean ponies. And urbanisation. And the commercialisation of an ancient religion. But mostly zombies.

"OK Fluttershy, you can do this," she told herself, altogether unconvincingly. It was fortunate, at least, that the walls of the tower were putting up a good defence against the zombie horde, allowing her to gather up the courage in her own time. Not that it was any closer to happening. "Remember, they're more scared of you than you are of them." Behind the doors, the zombies growled louder than ever. "... I think." She was almost certain that only applied to spiders, not zombies, but was trying not to think about it. She felt the lance in her hooves. She had used it to stab straight through the armour of carapaced underlings, but now it seemed incredibly weak and flimsy.

"You think you can beat us with something like this!?" Twilight's voice suddenly filled the tower, echoing from all directions around Fluttershy, who whirled around in confusion. "You think this is going to work?"

***

"Why yes, yes I do," Discord said happily, dodging around Twilight's attacks and lunging forwards to slash at her legs with his sword. "I think it's going to work wonderfully. Now, I'm at least wise enough to admit there is something in that whole 'bonds of friendship' nonsense you all seem to have an unhealthy obsession with. You're friends. You don't want to let each other down. That makes you annoyingly stubborn when it comes to finishing you off." He sighed dramatically. "But I wonder; how strong are those bonds, really? How attached are you to Comet, or any of his little friends? You've only just met, and hardly under the best of circumstances. And what about your own circle of friends? They've been dead for a long time, you know. Can you really just go back to being friends like you always were? Are you the same pony they knew? After all, ponies have been dying all over the place these days, but... not you. You've survived, against the odds. You've had to change in order to do so." He grinned menacingly. "You're not the pony you used to be, Twilight, whether you like it or not."

"Maybe not," Twilight replied levelly. "Maybe I'm not. But don't be so naive to think that scare tactics like this will make us forget who our friends are. We're stronger than you, Discord, and you know we are." The Heir considered this for a moment, before shrugging.

"Perhaps. If we want to, say, compare your total damage per second against mine. Perhaps if we all just lined up and through everything we had at each other, maybe you would win. But that's a rather shallow interpretation of 'strong', don't you think?" Snapping his fingers, he disappeared, appearifying behind Twilight half a second later and kicking her across the room. "Really, if I'm 'stronger' than you then that just means I can defeat you, doesn't it? Otherwise what would it even mean to have power?" He disappeared again, re-appearing behind Twilight once more. This time, Twilight's future self appeared next to him, sword at the ready, only for Discord to suddenly turn around and stab into her. "Tch, predictable as ever."

"Damn it..." Twilight gasped as she collapsed to the floor into a growing puddle of blood. "You... think you've won?"

"Yes, I do," Discord said. "I think I'm going to kill you. And then I think I'll pop one of my reality marbles and let out some more of your friends. And then I'll kill them. Because, Twilight Sparkle, I think there's one thing you and your friends need to realise. Something you've forgotten, I think." Cackling, he crouched to the ground and leaned towards Twilight, who could do nothing but stare back at him with dread. "I am more powerful than you. And I always, always will be. Now, I think this charade has gone on for long en-" instantly he transportalised to the other side of the room as a piano crashed down onto where he had been sitting moments before, barely missing Twilight.

***

With a crashing noise, the sounds echoing around her faded away into nothing, leaving Fluttershy alone in a tower about to be overrun by zombie ponies. She closed her eyes, attempting to drown out the sound of -

Silence fell. Well, that was a lot faster than Fluttershy was expecting. Gingerly, she opened her eyes. Still, there was silence. She stared at the door to the tower. The window showed nothing but the dark, misty hills in the distance. Slowly, silently, she took a few tiny steps towards it. Nothing happened. A few more steps went similarly unnoticed. Fluttershy was now little more than a metre away from the door. Somehow, the silence was scaring her more than the horde of zombies. Well, maybe not quite that much.

The silence shattered in an instant as the door flung open. Fluttershy opened her mouth to scream, leaping back into the tower, only to find her mouth covered as the creature that had entered the tower rushed towards her and muffled her scream with its hoof. Fluttershy's eyes slammed shut and she quivered in fear as she fell to the ground, the intruder standing over her.

Several minutes passed.

Cautiously, Fluttershy opened one eye. The other eye followed suit.

"A... Acapella?" she asked in a whisper, as the madly grinning green winged unicorn helped her to her feet. "Wh-what are you-" she cut off as a hoof rose to her mouth once again.

"Shh!" Acapella whispered urgently, glancing behind her. "We can't make much noise or the other zombies will come to investigate. They're pretty weak, but there's hundreds of thousands of them. Let's just sneak out while we can. Pinkie tells me you know where we're going?" Fluttershy nodded, pointing at the distant hills. "OK. Let's fly."

***

Turning, Discord's face darkens as he sees me and Diamond enter the room. Twilight stares at me in a confused kind of way, but this is no time for reunions. I look at Diamond.

"Just like we discussed, OK?" I say. Diamond hesitates for a moment, before nodding. "Good. Now..." I step forwards, equipping the most powerful weapon I can use. For a moment, even Discord's eyes widen in fear as he takes in the majesty of the weapon I have had to go to such extreme lengths to gain possession of. Forged by the smiths of Pipplemop for the Lord of the Wozzinjay Fiefdom. To gaze upon its many glorious colours is to know beauty unknowable. It is the weapon I wield at the end of my days, to signal to the heavens that one pimp-as-fuck warrior of justice will soon be coming its way.

"What the hell is that?" Diamond asks incredulously. I look at her, somewhat disappointed with this reaction.

"Shh." In the instant I look away, Discord begins rushing towards me. Leaping to the side, I swing the warhammer in my hooves towards him, barely connecting. Discord is promptly knocked away, slamming into the opposite wall and crashing to the floor. "This, Diamond, is the most powerful warhammer ever made. Please do not let your uninitiated assumptions tarnish its unholy aura of pure awesome."

"... sorry." Diamond sighs. Turning my attention back to Discord, I charge forwards as he painfully picks himself back up.

"You just focus on your job, and let me concentrate on mine," I say, swinging the warhammer as Discord leaps to his feet and ducks beneath it. I leap into the Void as he swings upwards with his sword, and then return to the room just above him, crushing the warhammer into his shoulder. This time the hit connects solidly, and Discord collapses to the ground instantly. I will be very surprised if he can move that arm for a while. Not waiting for him to retaliate, I leap away from him and ready the warhammer for another swing. I know that, despite how well this fight is going, Discord will defeat me. And, as Diamond passes the ammunition to Twilight, I continue my desperate fight against Discord, and Fluttershy and Acapella journey across the reality marbles, the gears of fate begin to shift.

The Infinite Hotel creaks, as it slowly drifts through paradox space. Unthinkably huge portions of its structure are missing, endless stretches of carnage and devastation worm their way through the endless corridors, and the entire structure threatens to destabilise. The Paradox Gates which contain it are now useless, their underlying mechanisms torn to shreds by the ceaseless destruction of Discord and his knights. The same knights who are now hunting almost the entire pantheon of the Paradox Loop through the pocket universes created by Discord. There can be only one end to this hotel - and, with it, our story - as its internal pressure begins to fail and its density slowly but surely approaches the inevitable narrative event horizon which no power in paradox space can hope to avert.

***

"What is it?" Acapella asked with concern, as Fluttershy suddenly paused and raised a hoof to her head. "Are you OK?" She glanced around the forest, checking for any sign of movement. They had followed the crack in the marble to a new universe, but had been unable to find any sign of the others.

"I..." Fluttershy was shaking. "I feel like paradox space is... failing?" Her eyes widened. "So... so much power..."

"Come on," Acapella said firmly, nudging Fluttershy. "I don't know what's happening, but it can only mean we have to hurry up and find the others, right?" Fluttershy paused, and then nodded. "Right, off we go. We just need to-" Grabbing Fluttershy's shoulder and shoving her onto the floor, Acapella leaped over her and equipped her cane, dodging past the knight which was rushing towards her and stabbing into its back. "Damn it, I was hoping we'd find one of the others first." Fluttershy had now gotten to her feet, equipping her lance and taking to the air.

"They can't be far away," Fluttershy said, nimbly dodging as the knight flew up after her. "But I don't think three of us would be able to beat even just this one." She squeaked in surprise as the knight's wings were torn apart as a rifle shot echoed around them. In an instant, Applejack flew out of the trees and sliced through one of its wings with her scythe as Summer followed from close behind, shooting the knight several more times as it fell to the ground.

"How about four of us?" Applejack asked, while the knight below them howled loudly. "Heh, then again, it won't be just one knight for much longer."

"Are you guys the only ones in this universe?" Acapella asked. "If you are then we may as well head on out to the next one." Summer nodded.

"Yeah, we are. So, where's the way out?" Fluttershy paused, closing her eyes.

"This way," she said eventually, taking off in a seemingly random direction. "It's getting harder to find a way through the cracks, for some reason."

***

"Pinkie, you really ought to realise what your job is," Discord says, stabbing me in the leg with his umbrella. "You're not a fighter. You've done an excellent job, but your own natural ability is the only thing keeping you alive. A Bard is a powerful, dangerous class, but it isn't made for this." Swearing under my breath, I leap to the side to avoid another swing of the umbrella and get back on my hooves. He's right, but I'm not about to admit it.

"What's your point?" I say, leaping into the air and swinging my warhammer down towards Discord. He easily dodges, so I teleport into the air and continue swinging downwards, just about grazing Discord as he jumps away. "I'm not about to slow down."

"Ha!" Falling through a hole in the floor, turning in mid-air and jumping back into the room, Discord equipped his machine gun and opened fire, as I barely managed to dodge out of the way in time. "In that case, shall I get a little serious? Even a legendary weapon won't be enough for you to defeat me." He turns to keep me in his sight as I run to the side, but just a little too slowly - I slip around him, Voiding over him as he jumps to get away from me, before smashing the warhammer into his face.

"Won't it?" I ask as he is sent careering into the wall with a sickening crunch.

***

Suddenly, the entire universe seemed to shake. Bookshelves trembled, and hundreds of tomes were sent cascading on top of Comet and Star Swirl as they ran through the endless library. It was clear that something was wrong.

"Damn it," Comet said angrily, taking an unexpected left and almost losing Star Swirl. "There's got to be some way out of - FUCK, STOP!" He halted, throwing out a hoof to hold back Star Swirl, as the two ponies came to the edge of what appeared to be an infinite chasm. As Comet looked closer, however, he realised that above and beneath the level where they had been running there were more levels similarly filled with bookshelves. A thin staircase worked its way around the edge of this chasm, allowing access to the other levels. "... damn it... this isn't good."

"We have to keep moving," Star Swirl said, "I get the feeling this place could collapse at any moment."

"It could, and you're right," Comet said quietly. "But that's not the most immediate concern." He gestured to the other side of the chasm, where a group of knights were amassing, staring right at them. "First things first, we've got company." He prepared to leap forwards into the chasm when a voice called out.

"Wait!" Turning, Comet blinked as Summer and the others ran towards them from out of the thin mist which was beginning to form.

"Summer? You're-" Comet began.

"Yeah, we're all fine," Summer interrupted, equipping her rifle and setting it up on the edge of the chasm, aimed across at the knights. "We need to get out of here now. Fluttershy can barely see a way out of this universe. Discord's getting weaker, and he can't maintain the reality." She gestured behind her. "Hence the fog. Less to render."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Star Swirl asked. "If Discord can't maintain this universe we'll be able to escape. Right?"

"Not necessarily," Celestia said, while Acapella and Luna took their positions and prepared to fight. "Paradox space is in turmoil right now. Creating pocket universes on this scale is pretty much the worst thing to do. When this universe collapses, there's no telling where we'll end up."

"So, how are we going to find a way out?" Ember asked. Celestia pointed at Fluttershy, who was sitting in the middle of their group with her eyes closed.

"She's searching for a gap, a weakness in the lining of this universe. When she finds it she can apply pressure to it, opening up a wound in local space that we can exit through. It's a bit harder than forcing our way between bubbles, though." Celestia looked over the group. "Until then, our job is to stop anything from distracting her. And by anything, I mean those guys." As one, the ponies looked out over the chasm, where the knights were preparing to leap towards them.

"Well," Rainbow Dash said, equipping a lance and leaping out into the centre of the chasm. "It'd be boring if it was too easy, right?"

***

"Here," Diamond Edge says, pushing the bottle I gave her into Twilight's hooves. "Pinkie said you'd know what to do with this." Twilight looks at the bottle.

"Ink of Squid Pro Quo? Well, yeah, I think I know what to do with this, but..." she sighs. "I don't know how it's supposed to help. Isn't there something I can do to help the others?" Diamond thinks about it.

"Not really... they're fighting their own battle right now." She looks over at me and my fight with Discord, as we charge at each other again and again, moving in unison and in perfect opposition. "Maybe you should be fighting yours."

"And... what about you?" Twilight asks. Diamond looks at her in surprise.

"I have a universe to save," she says simply, closing her eyes and concentrating. Twilight watches her for a few seconds, before running towards Discord and I.

***

FRAYMOTIF
[LIGHT && LIFE]
FRIENDZONE FIANCHETTO

A billion shots echoed from every corner of the universe, hitting the knights from more directions than they could perceive, let alone dodge. While Applejack and Summer Dawn dashed through the swarm of overpowered Dersite soldiers, shooting and slashing at everything that moved in an inferno of lucky shots and critical hits, Rainbow Dash soared above them, enveloping the aerial battlefield in blades of wind that tore apart anything which touched them. One by one, the knights were knocked out of the air and into the defensive wall of wind, exploding in a shower of meaningless grist. As the Knight and Heir's fraymotif drew to a close, Rainbow released the barrier, allowing her friends to exit as she and Rarity drew in to pick off the survivors.

"Rainbow, duck!" Luna shouted, shooting an arrow straight at the Rogue. With a fraction of a second to spare, Rainbow shot sideways as the arrow flew past her and into a knight that had dropped down from above.

"Damn it, they're everywhere," Destiny said, as more knights dropped from a higher level next to where she and Ember were guarding Fluttershy. Ember rushed forwards, using his hammer to knock a bookshelf towards the knights. As they were knocked backwards he leapt above them, swinging his hammer down and crushing them into the ground. "Comet, if we don't make it-"

"Then the whole of reality is fucked, most likely," Comet said. "It's just Twilight and Pinkie Pie against Discord, until we get out. I don't want to sell those two short, but it doesn't look good."

"Even so," Celestia commented, warping space around two knights and chuckling grimly as their swords stabbed into each other. "We can't keep going. Our powers have a reduced effect on this universe. The mist is getting thicker, as well."

"What we need to bear in mind," Summer said, returning to Fluttershy to catch her breath while continuing to hold back the knights. "What we need to bear in mind is that even if we escape, we'll still have to deal with Discord."

"Yes, thank you Summer," Comet said. "Don't worry about that. There is a plan, funnily enough. Our main concern at the moment is getting out of this universe before it collapses." With that, Fluttershy's eyes opened wide.

"Someone's helping me!" Fluttershy cried, getting to her feet as she began to do a Spacey thing. "Someone from outside is helping me find the way out... it's just..."

"Just what?" Ember asked, using his own Spacey thing to knock away the knights as Fluttershy flew out into the chasm. "Fluttershy?" The others followed, forming a shield around the Seer. Without warning, Fluttershy grabbed Ember's hoof.

"I need your strength," Fluttershy said calmly. "I know the way through this universe, but I need you to knock a whole big enough for all of us. Can you do that?" Ember grinned widely.

"I'll see what I can do."

***

"Piss off," Discord yells, dashing backwards to avoid Twilight's sword and viciously kicking her away. "This is between me and the pink one." Twilight gasps in pain, disappearing into time only to reappear moments later behind Discord, stabbing forwards. In the next instant, her quillsword explodes into a thousand fragments as Discord surrounds himself with magic. Before Twilight can react, he has spun around and punched her in the face. As she reels back, he equips his axe and leaps forwards.

"Twilight!" I cry, jumping towards Discord, warhammer swinging towards him. "Get the fuck away from Twi-" I am cut off as Discord swiftly raises his hand and throws his axe backwards, as it cuts into my neck and I am thrown onto the ground, landing with a crunch as my back crashes into the rubble. Fuck, that hurt. I am vaguely aware of Twilight screaming, as the shape of Discord slowly approaches. It is getting difficult to see, or hear, or to even distinguish those two senses from one another. This...

I close my eyes, listening to the feet tapping on what is left of the wooden floor. They are all I can perceive. The footsteps of my end drawing ever closer.

***

With a sudden burst of light, a colossal gap appeared in the centre of the chasm. Brilliant white and shimmering with the colours of two universes, it hovered and span in place in the very centre of the pocket universe, glowing with a familiar and friendly colour. For a moment, everypony paused and stared, awestruck, into the portal.

"Everyone! We have to get through now!" Fluttershy yelled, just as the knights came to the conclusion that they had to make sure that didn't happen. The brilliant light was suddenly cut off behind a cloak of darkness as the knights surrounded the portal, preventing them from getting to it. Rainbow and Comet looked at each other. They grinned.

"Rainbow?" Comet asked, laughing gleefully. "Shall we?"

"Oh yes," Rainbow said happily. "I think we shall." A blast of air shook the chasm, as Rainbow's body became a whirling maelstrom of air. "Take it away." Comet nodded to the air around him, heading to the front of the group as the others readied themselves behind him.

"Now, you've made a few critical mistakes," Comet said, addressing the knights in front of him. "First of all, you've chosen now, when we're most desperate, to get serious. And as I'm sure your master knows all too well by now, when we're desperate we can do anything. Secondly, you've chosen a poor tactical position, all things considered. Not only can we all fly, but we've got control over the air you're flying in." As if to prove his point, a strong wind began blowing, a mini-tornado forming in the centre of the chasm. The bookcases nearer the edge of the chasm were sucked into it, books flying in all directions around the portal. "But perhaps most seriously of all, you haven't realised where we are." Comet grinned, as he quietly extended his magic around the swarm of books. "You see, I can see why you would make that mistake, but this isn't a library. No... as far as I'm concerned, this place..." he laughed, his bookkind abstrata groaning under the weight of a hundred thousand new additions. "... is an armoury."

And with that, he and the others charged forwards, and unleashed a catastrophic whirlwind of unabridged hell.

***

"Pinkie, Pinkie, Pinkie..." Discord says, his footsteps finally ending as he reaches me. "You just don't know when to quit, do you?" He kneels down and brushes my face with his claw. "But its OK now, you can stop. You don't have to keep going. This story is already over. Why not rest? Why... not..." his voice is becoming muffled, Twilight's distant cries long since faded into the endless darkness into which I can feel myself slipping. There's no more. Nothing else. I... everyone... I'm...

***

"Now hold on just one cotton-pickin' minute!" Applejack roars, kicking Discord away from me as she rushes forwards. "That was for being obnoxious!" Dodging his dazed attempt to stop her advance, she leaps through the air and kicks him again in the head. "That was for trapping me in another universe!" Still shaking, I get to my feet with Fluttershy's assistance. She smiles at me, her face full of relief. Looking down, I can see a dried puddle of blood, and that is the only sign that I was ever injured. Applejack really is something else, I think to myself, as I watch her jumping backwards over Discord and slashing at his back with her scythe. "AND THAT!" she yells, as Discord collapses to the ground. "Was for even thinking that you, or anyone else, has the right to hurt my friends!" Triumphantly, she returns to my side, along with everyone else. Looking around, I see Diamond Edge has joined us as well.

"Heh... so you made it out..." Discord says, picking himself up and standing opposite the Paradox Loop's pantheon of fourteen, and Star Swirl. "... I guess... I just can't win, can I? No matter what I do... you bloody ponies..."

"G..." Diamond Edge begins, stepping forwards towards Discord. "Golden. Please. Let's stop this." The others watch her with surprise, but say nothing. Discord's face darkens. "I... I don't want things to end like this. I don't want any of us to die." Discord sighs.

"Nothing is going to save me now," he says bitterly, and for an instant it is Golden Shine standing opposite us. "I thought that if I came here, if I took control of destiny itself, then I could find a way to undo what happened to me. What... what I did to myself." He laughs, loud and hollow. "Not even that could save me! I don't have anything left except this!" For a moment I think he is going to cry, but instead he simply roars in frustration. "And you! Twilight Sparkle!" he glares at Twilight, who is holding two items. The two items which combine to form the most powerful weapon in paradox space. "What the hell are you going to do with those? Are you going to kill me? Finally, are you going to put an end to this? Well!?" Twilight sighs deeply.

"Dis..." she pauses. "... Golden. I don't want to kill you. Not if I can help it."

"But that's just it, Twilight," Discord says, stepping towards our group with a hint of menace. "You can't help it. What else can you possibly do? Negotiate? Don't tell me that was your master plan - diplomacy? You think that you can resolve this with words now? Don't make me laugh, just tell me which one of you is going to kill me." He leaps forwards, equipping an axe in both hands, only to be instantly teleported upside down, backwards, and partially inside the ceiling. In the next instant, Luna has removed his swords and is aiming an arrow straight at him. Meanwhile, Twilight combines her two items. Dipping her quill into the bottle of ink that Diamond provided her, she draws the fully loaded weapon from its sheath and takes the sheet of parchment I offer her.

"You are obviously not acquainted with my brand of diplomacy," Twilight says, stepping up towards Discord, whose eyes are just now beginning to show fear.

FRAYMOTIF
[???]
SEPULCHRITUDE

***

As the storms fade, the slow but inevitable demise of the Infinite Hotel draws ever closer. The structure heaves and groans, infinitely long corridors collapsing in on themselves as eternity itself begins to run short. In the room where our final battle was held, we look around ourselves with concern as the walls themselves begin to shake and start to give way.

"Twilight?" I ask uncertainly, glancing around at the rapidly decaying stronghold. "We need to get out of here. This isn't over yet." Twilight nods, glancing over at Diamond, who is holding onto Discord.

"Diamond, can you bring him?" Twilight asks. Diamond nods, lifting Discord with her magic. "Good. OK, everyone, listen up. This place is collapsing, and with it the entire Paradox Loop. It doesn't matter where we run, nowhere is safe now."

"So what are we supposed to do about it?" Rarity asks. Twilight nods, and begins running out of the room, with the rest of us following close behind her.

"We need to keep the Paradox Loop in place, Rarity. Don't forget that the universe we came from is part of it. It's only in danger because the hotel is collapsing," Twilight shouts behind her as we run past explosions and fires. Time jumps will do us no good now - as the hotel nears destruction, its geometry returns to a more realistic structure as the technology breaks down. We have no choice but to make it by ourselves. "We need to get to the centre of the hotel, or as close to the centre as we can. Fluttershy, Pinkie, I'm leaving that to you."

"Of course," I say, grabbing Fluttershy by the hoof and sprinting to the front of the group. "We can do that, right, Fluttershy?" She stares into my eyes, her face full of fear. I grin madly at her. "There's nothing we can't do, right?" After a moment of hesitation, Fluttershy grins back at me.

"Right." With a determined expression, she closes her eyes, lending me her powers as I guide our party through the hotel. Her powers are impressive - in an instant I can see every inch of the hotel in my mind’s eye, coupled with my own knowledge of its twists and turns. We charge through corridors and hallways, soar down staircases and under archways, travelling through colossal stretches of Void and navigating safe paths through the encroaching flames as we slowly but surely draw closer to our goal: the centre of the Infinite Hotel, the centre of the entire Paradox Loop.

***

Bursting into the final corridor, we pause briefly. The last stretch of our journey is already a blazing inferno, and it is clear that it will collapse any moment - much like the rest of the hotel. Pausing for a few seconds, I look around at my friends. We have come so close, and overcome so much. We have fought as legends, and at the very least we will not give in here.

"Is everypony ready?" I ask, even as the walls of reality themselves start to break down around us. Out of the corner of my eye, I can even see Discord looking at us with a mixture of annoyance and awe. He has been disconcertingly mute since Twilight dealt with him, but I suppose it is to be expected. He has nothing more to say now.

"Of course we are," Applejack says confidently. The others nod in agreement. I look down the one remaining corridor.

"Well then. Let's do this." I grin. And with that, we turn as one and charge towards our destination. The flames are unbearable, lashing out at us as we run through them. Rainbow's Windy thing attempts to fight them back, but to no avail, as they continue to leap forwards, burning into us and blinding our vision with smoke. But there is no time to make sure that everyone is keeping up. The only thing any of us can do is continue running. And so we run, we run through the fire and flames, through the smoke and the desperation, while the hotel begins to be unmade all around us.

And then, finally, gloriously, we exit the corridor and into the grand hall at the centre of the infinite hotel. As we spill out into the hall, I search wildly for Fluttershy. Seeing her, I rush over to her.

"Fluttershy! Quick, your frog!" She looks at me in confusion. "The frog you made, the Genesis frog, we need it!" Realisation dawning, she quickly fetches the frog out of her sylladex and hands it to me. "Blimey he's a big one, isn't he? Still, I guess he needs to be... Applejack! Twilight! Celestia! Oh, and Diamond! Get over here!" There is no time to be polite, as this last safe room is moments from destruction. As they rush over to me, I release the frog, allowing it to hover oddly in front of us. "Applejack, this frog cannot die. You have to make sure this frog survives. Twilight, Celestia, I need you to use your powers just one last time. We need Skaia, here. We need to create a new universe at the centre of the Paradox Loop to restabilise the formation."

"But our sessions are scratched!" Twilight protests. "There isn't any-"

"There's Comet's," I say bluntly. "Bring it here. Now." Twilight and Celestia exchange glances, and then nod. "Good. And now, Diamond," I turn to look into her eyes. "Hope in the face of Doom, right? I don't care how you do it. But this needs to succeed. It has to." She stares back at me.

"... I'll try." She says quietly. I nod.

"Then, try." With that, I step back, a sense of relief washing over me as a familiar, friendly glow fills the hall. The hotel buckles as it is crushed from both the inside and the outside, as Skaia's familiar form forces its way into the great hall and the walls are forced apart, exposing Skaia's outer edges to the unending chaotic storms of the dying Paradox Loop. "Applejack!" I cry, as the entire hotel finally gives up, fracturing into pieces which are sent scattering into the infinite void, cascading away from Skaia.

***

In the heart of that planet, in the very core of the Battlefield, a frog found its home. Growing, evolving, and nurturing an entire universe of potential within it. And suddenly, without much of a warning, it began to swell outwards at a colossal pace, the flames of creation burning fiercely within it as the Battlefield cracked and fractured outwards, revealing the true size and majesty of the amphibian overlord contained within. Skaia itself grew, water filling its atmosphere before enormous lilies bloomed on its surface; a hauntingly beautiful cosmic pond in the centre of an empty void. The Genesis frog had awoken, and the ponies who gazed upon it fondly regarded their creation with a sense of finality. Maybe now, it was over. Maybe now, after all this time, they had achieved their goal. One by one, they drifted towards the pond and found their way to a lily pad, where they sat for a while and talked. And laughed, and cried, and (perhaps most importantly) slept. Pinkie Pie, in particular, slept long and deservedly, so - for now, at least - I will take over as a narrator.

"Is it really over?" Ember asked in disbelief, looking down at the frog-shaped universe beneath him. "I never thought I'd be glad to see another frog."

"Yes," Fluttershy said happily. "I think it is over, now."

"About time, if you ask me," Celestia said, yawning a little as she woke up. "... so, what now?"

"Now?" Discord stood up, turning away from the others. "Now you get to go down to that frog, escape the Paradox Loop and live out your happy little lives. Well done." He sighed. "And I am going to go... that way," he pointed an arm in a seemingly arbitrary direction. "And see where that takes me."

"Golden, you-" Diamond began, pausing when Discord turned and stared at her.

"Have a good life," he said quietly. "No, really, I don't care anymore. But don't call me Golden. No one can call me that." With that, he took off from the lily pad, and into the void. A few minutes passed.

"Well, that's not quite true," Luna said as she watched Discord disappear. "There is one pony who can still call him that. Maybe he's gone to find her." She smiled sadly. "It's rather beautiful, in a way, don't you think?"

"Is it?" Star Swirl asked. Luna punched him. "What was that for?" Luna looked away.

"... idiot," she muttered.

And so the ponies continued to talk, and eventually they were rested and recovered. And then, at last, one by one they made their way down into the pond beneath them, and journeyed into the next universe.

Yes. Maybe, now, their suffering was over, and they had finally managed to save everything they held dear. Maybe, despite everything, they had reached the conclusion to their tale.

Maybe, just maybe, this was the end.

***END OF ACT 4***

Epilogue

View Online

A/N: Well, that seems to be that. Which is all very well and good, except it seems that, one way or another; I've been caught short with no narrators to explain what's happening. I myself am up to my neck in paperwork. It seems that quite a number of rather powerful investors have an interest in the Infinite Hotel, and they're not exactly thrilled that I'm mostly responsible for destroying a rather large portion of it. But, I said to them, the Infinite Hotel is, well, infinite, and any finite amount of damage caused to it is ultimately rather meaningless. That's all fine and dandy, they said, but apparently those rampaging ponies actually managed to cause an infinite amount of damage. Well, I said, that's clearly not true because doing an infinite amount of anything is patently impossible. They said they didn't really care if it was possible or impossible; what they were cross about was the fact that it had been done. I am currently in the middle of forming my defence with my loyal circle of mathemagicians, but it does mean I'm rather pressed for time as far as story telling is concerned. Not one to leave an undertaking unfinished, however, I have made some time now, at the end of our tale, just to wrap things up a bit, while my mathemagicians finalise my case.

Now, where were we...?

Oh, that's right, the end.

***

The infinite, endless light of Skaia drew closer as the Disco Ball of Destiny neared its destination, supported by Silver Heart as she awaited her rapidly approaching death. Well, not quite. Death wasn't the right word for it. The Scratch wouldn't kill her, just... reset her progress, she guessed. She sighed.

"It was fun," she mused. "I wonder if... no, I'm sure it will all work out OK." She had to believe it would. Otherwise this was all for nothing. "I'm sure... I'm sure that everything will be fine, in the end."

"Talking to yourself is a sign of madness, you know," Discord said, as he gently landed on the DBoD and sat down beside a startled Silver. "And I should know." He smiled thinly.

"Golden? What are you doing here!?" Silver cried, her eyes wide. This wasn't right, Golden couldn't be here. If he stayed here he would get reset along with the whole universe. "Don't you... uh, don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Not anymore," Discord said, shrugging. "It's all over, now, so I came to find you. It didn't feel right to just leave you here by yourself." Silver's expression became a mixture of happiness and confusion. Discord sighed. "It's all because of Twilight. Her ultimate technique..." Memories of his final battle played through Discord's mind. He supposed, really, he'd never stood a chance against that kind of attack. "Long story short, I can't do anything anymore. No offensive magic, no Rage powers. No murdering ponies, either. It's all just... disabled, I guess." More accurately, it was expressly forbidden under the terms of a very, very long peace treaty, under pain of eviction from paradox space. He also thought that some kind of weasel had been involved, but it was hard to remember exactly. That wouldn't even have made sense.

"I... I see." Silver thought about this for a while. "Does that mean you're back to normal?"

"No," Discord said. "But... I don't know. I really don't know what I'm good for, any more." He laughed. "I just... I wanted to see you again, before it was too late."

"... Thanks," Silver said, smiling happily. "You should get going, though. There's not long left before the universe is reset." Discord looked up at Skaia, thinking deeply to himself. "... Golden?"

"Reset, you say?" Discord sighed. "... That doesn't sound too bad." He raised a claw to interrupt Silver as she tried to protest. "Don't bother. What else is there? All my plans have failed, I can't do anything about it... and either way I'll never see you again." He lay down on the glistening surface of the DBoD. "At least let me stay with you until the end."

"... OK." Silver Heart nodded, sitting down next to Golden Shine as the two of them talked, and laughed, and waited for the end to come. And that was enough for them.

***EPILOGUE***

There was nothing left.

A barren crater, flames slowly dying as the rubble burned away into nothing. An empty crater in a vast, devastated landscape.

A few hours ago, this had been a mountain range at the heart of civilisation. Now, it was nothing. Nothing, except for two ponies. With unknowable grief and helplessness, Celestia collapsed at the side of the crater as she stared into the empty gap where Canterlot had once stood. Luna took a few steps back in surprise.

"Celestia?" She paused. No, that wasn't right. "... Sis?" Her voice trembling, Luna walked over to Celestia.

"It's..." Celestia said quietly, as she struggled to remain calm. It’s all gone. They're... they're all-" Luna threw her hooves around her sister, as Celestia burst into tears. A few moments later, Luna did the same. The previous centuries rushed through her mind in seconds. The years they had lived, in their thousands. The ponies they had met, too numerous to count. The tragedies they had seen, utterly meaningless compared to this. This was the end. It was all over now. "If..." Celestia began whimpering, without breaking away from Luna, "... if I had been stronger..."

"Shut up," Luna snapped quickly. "Don't say that. I... I can't blame you for this. This is just... too much." She closed her eyes to the desolation, her mind running over the eons of tradition and culture that had been lost in the blink of an eye.

***SEVERAL CENTURIES EARLIER***

"Star Swirl? Luna? Hello? Can you hear me?" Princess Celestia called as she briskly trotted through the halls of the palace as quickly as she could without appearing as undignified as she felt. Honestly, whenever she really needed either of them, they both seemed to disappear in an instant. It was almost enough to make her want to banish them to the moon. Celestia halted with a confused expression, wondering exactly where that oddly specific and worryingly severe punishment had come from. Dismissing it as unimportant, she resumed her hunt, a little more anxiously than before.

Meanwhile, in what would one day become a rather infamous wing of the Canterlot library, Princess Luna was eagerly watching a certain unicorn performing the new spell he'd been working on. A certain unicorn that some ponies would, at the risk of incurring Luna's wrath, hazard that she was rather fond of. Perhaps an adventure in another universe had helped Luna to clear her mind, but in the years that had followed their arrival in Equestria she had taken less and less effort to make it seem like she really didn't want to spend any time with him. And perhaps, by some miracle, he was starting to get that impression himself.

"And so, rewriting the transformation vector and feeding it back into the function as a... um..." Star Swirl the Unshaven faltered a little as he realised Luna really didn't understand him at all. He sighed. "... anyway, this is what happens when you shoot something with it." Without another word, Star Swirl fired a light blue beam of magic at the unsuspecting mouse he had placed on a stool in the centre of the room. Light exploded outwards and filled the room, temporarily blinding Luna. When eventually her sight returned, the mouse had disappeared. In its place was a rather startled and precariously balanced sheep.

"... Did you just turn that mouse into a sheep?" Luna asked Star Swirl, who nodded enthusiastically. "Swirly, I don't mean to be rude, but... isn't there already magic for that?"

"Yes. Well, sort of." Star Swirl walked over to the sheep and helped it off of the stool. "We have transfiguration magic already, but it has very limited applications for living things. We've long been able to turn someone's body into that of a sheep. But this is actually a sheep, rather than a rat with the body of a sheep." Slowly, he levitated the sheep and gently eased it through the window of the library and down to the grounds below. "And of course we already had illusion magic and that sort of thing." He looked back at Luna proudly. "I know you're probably rather unimpressed, but this is a significant step forwards in Alteration magic as a whole." Star Swirl made the face he always made when he felt that Luna wasn't taking him seriously. Luna sighed dramatically, before throwing her hooves around him.

"Swirly. Stop being adorable."

"... I'm not being adorable."

***A FEW DECADES LATER***

Thunder echoed across the sky as the rain threw itself desperately against the walls of the castle, in a vain attempt to interrupt the events inside. Inside, however, it was almost unnaturally quiet, as a certain unicorn said goodbye.

"Remember when I made that first polymorph spell?" Star Swirl the Bearded asked wearily, his tired face smiling faintly at Luna. "Heh... how long ago was that? I barely had a beard back then, I remember..." Luna smiled weakly, her eyes full of grief. "... Luna, dear, please... please don't cry." She softly punched his shoulder.

"Shut up..." Luna whispered, as she struggled to remain calm. "... shut up, you idiot." The first few tears were finally beginning to roll down her face. "... it's... it's not fair..." Star Swirl smiled at her. "Don't smile like that... like... you've already accepted it..."

"Luna." Star Swirl said, surprisingly firmly, as he took Luna's hoof in his. "I've had centuries to accept that this would happen eventually. Sburb's kept me alive for a long time, but we both knew it wasn't going to last forever." He sighed weakly. "Funny, I had so many opportunities to die in that game... all the way through I thought I was going to die in battle, doing something stupid to save you..." He laughed quietly. "It's selfish of me, but I prefer this ending." He closed his eyes contentedly. "I'm sorry, Luna. But I can't keep on any more."

"Don't apologise, idiot," Luna said sharply, tears now flowing freely down her face. "... just... wait for me, OK? I'll find you, one day." Star Swirl smiled.

"That's a nice thought," he muttered slowly. "Then... until next time... Luna..."

And with that, Star Swirl the Bearded moved on, the storm continued to rage outside, and Luna cried long into the night. And, in many ways, this was the end of an age.

***

It was in the summer that followed the events of that day, when Celestia sat alone in her throne room, when the doors of the castle were thrown open, and a much unexpected pony strode forwards into the throne room.

"You- you're... you're alive!?" Celestia gasped in surprise, her usually refined manner slipping for a few moments at the sight before her. Comet grinned widely.

"Now, what kind of a greeting is that?" Comet asked, his red cape billowing behind him. "Of course I'm alive. I'm very good at staying alive longer than is probably fair, you know." Behind him, more familiar faces were emerging. Destiny, and Summer, and Ember, and Celestia could only assume the others were also nearby. "We're all alive, and present. Well. All of our session, that is." Celestia's face fell a little.

"So, you don't know where Twilight is?"

"Nope," Comet sighed. "She'll turn up. You and Luna and Star Swirl entered this universe first, anyway. I think it's pretty clear there's a significant difference between the passage of time in this universe and the passage of time outside it." He thought for a moment. "Considering there isn't any time to speak of outside this universe that's not surprising." He shrugged. "Hey, anyway, where's Luna keeping herself these days?" Celestia hesitated.

"She, uh... Luna isn't here right now." Celestia looked away from Comet's quizzical expression. "But, you know, it's good to see you all again. You're free to stay anywhere in the castle, if you wish."

"I should think so, too," Summer said. "After all, we're all Gods, right? Except Star Swirl, that is." Celestia winced a little.

"True. Oh, that reminds me, where is he? I was wanting to ask-" Comet began, cutting off as he was flung into the air, and then knocked back onto the floor by Celestia's Spacey thing. The others immediately drew their weapons, while the few guards scattered around the throne room looked at each other with terrified expressions.

"You're all welcome here," Celestia said, returning her staff to her sylladex. "But please, don't mention Star Swirl again if you can help it." Comet got to his feet slowly.

"Why? What happened?" Comet asked, a little upset that he was the only one who had been attacked.

"... he died," Celestia said quietly. "Old age. There wasn't anything we could do about it."

"And Luna?" Destiny asked. Celestia sighed.

"She's... on the moon." Ember blinked.

"Wait, you mean that actually happened? You banishing Luna to the moon?" Ember asked. Comet kicked him.

"Emmy, don't be an idiot. That was what the Princess Celestia did in our and Twilight's universe, remember? I mean, history has largely forgotten her reasons, but that's no reason to think that Celestia would do that. Right, Celestia?" Comet said hopefully, as Celestia just shook her head and looked away. "... Celestia?"

"It all happened so fast," Celestia said helplessly. "Star Swirl died, and then... and then Luna just started talking to me less and less. And before I realised what was happening, she just..."

"Never mind, I get the picture," Comet said, wishing he hadn't asked. "... well, this is quite the merry situation for us all to barge in on, eh?" No one else seemed to agree. Comet sighed. "I guess all we can do now is wait for Twilight and the others. Maybe they'll be able to sort Luna out?"

And so they waited for Twilight to arrive. The ponies grew settled, and complacent, and in time their distress at the death of Star Swirl and Luna's banishment waned. It was still kind of a big deal, but no longer worth flipping out over. And so things continued.

***1000 YEARS LATER***

"Still no Twilight," Diamond mused, as Celestia and Luna returned from their trip to Ponyville. "Except that now we have sweet, innocent, clueless Twilight and friends who seem to have been legitimately raised in this universe rather than imported from the dead husk of the previous one. What do?" She glanced at Summer.

"There are a few explanations," Summer said. "The most obvious one is that this isn't a new universe. This is the universe our session, and Twilight's session, originated from. So Luna's banishment isn't a creepy parallel. It's the same historical event. That means... those girls are going to grow up to play Sburb and save the universe and all that."

"Well. That's a little reassuring, at least," Luna said, still understandably rather shaken by recent events. "Does that mean you guys are also going to appear later on?"

"That's a point," Comet said. "It's a good thing we haven't been making a fuss. The last thing we need is to become worshipped as gods when we haven't even been born yet."

"It also means there's going to be a lot of meteors to come," Destiny pointed out. "Like, an awful lot of them."

"That's fine," Celestia said confidently. "No matter what may come, we'll be ready."

***ALMOST THERE***

And, as they had guessed, Twilight's group had played the game and moved on, and in the process Ponyville had been destroyed. And so they rebuilt it and named it New Ponyville, and in due time a certain grey earth pony moved to live there. Years passed, and then Comet and his friends also began to play the game, and they too moved on, resulting in much of Canterlot and New Ponyville being destroyed. Cloudsdale was almost entirely torn to shreds, but by and large the population had survived.

But of course, this had only been the beginning.

"Damn it," Comet swore, freezing a meteor in the path of a second, but failing to notice a third meteor that crashed behind him and demolished the town hall. As this continued, Fillydelphia was quickly looking less and less like an actual place where ponies lived. "I distinctly remember we said we were going to be ready. This is not being ready." Freezing another meteor in place just in time, Comet sent it a million years back in time. Hopefully, this area was unpopulated that long ago. If not, then at least no one would complain to him about it. This exercise took rather more out of him than he had anticipated, and he almost collapsed to the ground.

"Are you hurt?" Summer asked, firing her rifle into another meteor and smashing it into tiny pieces.

"You know me," Comet replied. "Just a bit too old for this. I'm out of practice."

"Well, which is it?" Summer asked, destroying yet another meteor. Shaking his head, Comet got to his feet and rushed to Summer's side.

A sudden flash of white light, and then everything went black.

***BACK IN THE PRESENT***

All around the world, the gods of Equestria fought their battles, desperately trying to hold off the meteors. But eventually, as the dust settled, the outcome was clear.

There was nothing left. Opening her eyes, Luna slowly got to her feet. After all this, it would be wrong to just give in to it all. She had to keep moving forwards. But... but now, there was nowhere to go.

"Hey, sis," Celestia sobbed, getting Luna's attention. "We never did find out whether Discord was Golden, or just a native of this universe." It was true, Discord had appeared in the past, but either he had never met them before or he simply had lost his memories. Certainly he was no Heir of Rage any more, although that could have been due to Twilight's attack. Regardless, they had not been able to bring themselves to deal with him more permanently, choosing to keep his statue out of respect as much as anything else.

"I don't know what to think," Luna said quietly. "I don't know what I want to be true, either. It hardly matters now, does it?" Celestia shrugged.

"I guess not." Silence fell. "Hey, Luna, is that-" Before she could finish, she was on her feet and sprinting into the distance. Looking ahead to where she was running, Luna peered into the distance across the endless ocean of sand. The faintest outline of a pony (or a small rock) could barely be seen. She already knew it wasn't a pony. It was impossible for it to be a pony after that devastation. Or, if it was a pony, it was Comet or one of the others. There was no way anyone else could be there. So she found it quite odd that she too was sprinting after her sister towards the distant figure. When she eventually caught up, she couldn't believe it.

"Hey, Celestia, Luna," said the Mage of Time, as she and the rest of her friends stepped out into the remnants of Equestria. "Sorry we took so long, we-" Twilight was cut off, as Celestia and Luna leapt at her, knocking her to the ground and almost crushing her. "Ack! Get off!" They did so, rather begrudgingly, before inflicting similar greetings on the others. "Honestly..." Twilight froze, as she saw Comet and the others approaching from the distance. "Oh. Great."

"Hey now, Sparkles, what's with that reaction?" Comet asked, grinning widely. "You had us worried, you know. Over a thousand years we've been waiting for you lot to show up."

"Then why didn't you just time travel forwards to meet us?" Twilight asked. Comet blinked.

"... damn it." He shook his head. "That's not the point, anyway." He looked down. "It's a shame you only just arrived. We've really let the place go..." Summer kicked him. "... maybe once we could have saved everyone, you know. When we were young and our powers were still just as fresh and powerful as they ever were." He looked over at Celestia and Luna. "Frankly, you two, I'm impressed you have any power left in you after this long."

"It's not like it matters now, is it?" Luna said bitterly. "Don't get me wrong, it's great that we're all together again. But, there's... there's nothing left now." Twilight blinked. She and Fluttershy exchanged glances.

"... but... what about that city behind the ridge?" Fluttershy asked, pointing behind her. Celestia blinked, before leaping into the air, teleporting herself several miles upwards with Luna close behind. She almost dropped back out of the sky when she saw it. Rows of houses, large round roofs, grass - grass, for crying out loud - reaching for a small distance in a little bubble next to a small lake, in the middle of the expanse of sand and dust.

"It's..." Luna began, cutting off as Celestia teleported herself down to the city. Almost collapsing with joy as she realised that it was, in fact, real, she began running along the streets almost at random, desperately searching for any sign of life. As the others caught up to her, she paused for breath. No sign of anyone. Maybe no one lived here after all?

And then, behind her, a small door creaked open, and an old earth pony cautiously stepped out of his home. It was all Celestia could do to stop herself from charging towards him. He took several steps to the dazed group of winged and horned earth ponies, before smiling kindly at Celestia.

"Ah, my, Princess Celestia's come to visit us? I never thought I'd see the day..." he drifted off, as if he was trying to remember something. "You're most welcome to our little town, Princess." He attempted a bow, but decided his back wasn't going to stand for that sort of thing. Turning and hobbling back into his home, Celestia looked around her as other houses began to come to life. She collapsed onto the ground.

"It's... it's OK," she said happily, as the others began exploring the town. "There's... there's still something here, after all that. She looked at Luna, who smiled back at her. "Things will be OK now, won't they?" Luna looked up, at a large statue which seemed to her to be in the centre of this town, which had been untouched by the meteors, and almost fell over in surprise. Discord's statue stood proudly in the centre of the town, but his face seemed different somehow. It was no longer one of shock and fear, but a kind, warm smile. Luna smiled back at her sister.

"Yes, Cel. I think everything's going to be OK now."

***END OF THE EPILOGUE***

A/N: And there you have it. The end. And now, my dear friends, I must leave you. I have a court case to attend. I will leave you to exit the study at your own leisure, but please do make sure that you leave the room as you found it - it is the only room I have not managed to utterly destroy over the course of this tale.

And that was the story of a filly, and her friends, and a game they played together.

***

"Eurgh..." Blearily, Mild Darkness wiped the sleep from his eyes as he slowly stood up and surveyed his surroundings. He appeared to be in the front room of some kind of shop, judging by the counter and the bell on the door. This wasn't where he remembered falling asleep. He punched himself. Yeah, he was awake. Then... did that mean he had been dreaming? Had it really all been just one huge horrible nightmare? The light music club, the singing, the concerts, the hordes of fans - actually he had quite enjoyed that last part, as his mind powers had seemed to have no effect in that parallel universe - had it all been a dream? Maybe now he was back in Sburb, and about to proceed with the plan. Yes, that must be it. He definitely wasn't dreaming now, that was for sure.

And so he had decided this, when someone cleared their throat behind him. Unease swept through his body, and he slowly turned on the spot, finding himself staring at a young girl with long black hair and bright blue eyes. She was smiling far too innocently for Mild to feel at ease.

"Hello!" She said enthusiastically enough to make Mild wince in pain. "Would you like to buy some mochi?" Mochi? Mild blinked. He couldn't be - no, surely not. Dread filled his heart, as he slowly turned his head to the side. Next to him, standing on one of the chairs which were lined against the wall, stood an incredibly plump white bird with bright pink cheeks and pink feathers at the ends of his wings.

"Oh no," Mild said quietly as the room around him utterly failed to stop existing. "Oh fuck no."

***THE END***