Ponystuck

by confoundtheseponies

Chapter 22

Even something as simple as prototyping a kernelsprite can be difficult under pressure. The ability to pick an object and random and throw it at the kernelsprite has a tendency to disappear at the most inconvenient moment, as Luna was discovering. The pressure was not helped by the effects of Star Swirl's prototyping, which had been less than brilliant. Silver wasn't helping, either.

Ss: Come on; just throw any old thing into it.

ME: What happened the last time somepony just threw any old thing into it?

Ss: Oh right, I'm sorry for not being clear.

Ss: Throw any old thing which ISN'T A MEGA POWERFUL ANCIENT ARTIFACT into it.

Ss: Better?

ME: Marginally.

Casting about her room for any inspiration, Luna found herself drawn to absolutely nothing in particular.

ME: Yeah, I have no ideas.

Ss: Why is this so difficult!?

Ss: OK, let's see... what's that pie?

ME: Pie?

Glancing around, Luna spotted the pie in question. She had been planning on eating it earlier, except she had completely forgotten about it. And also she had been busy saving Star Swirl's life. Damn.

ME: Aw, I forgot about that!

ME: Also, no way.

Ss: :\

ME: I'm not using the pie. That is a delicious pie, and I am going to eat it.

ME: Later.

Ss: Nooo, use the pie!

ME: Why?

Ss: Because you've already spent far too long with this.

Ss: Just write down the code and you can make another pie once we get you in.

ME: Oh yeah.

Quickly taking note of the code, Luna tossed the pie kernel-ward.

Ss: And now that that's finally taken care of, we still need to figure out what the deal with this stupid cruxite butterfly thing.

ME: Oh, that? I got that ages ago.

Ss: I thank you for including me, your trusted friend, in your thought process.

ME: Calm down, it's no big deal.

Quickly hopping down two flights of stairs, spending a few moments searching while ignoring the ever-decreasing countdown, and hopping back up again, Luna triumphantly presented a large glass jar to nopony in particular.

Ss: Uh. What?

ME: It's a jar. To put the butterfly in.

Ss: What makes you think that's what you have to do?

ME: Well, Star Swirl had to write a scroll and fold it up. So it makes sense that I have to catch a butterfly and put it in a jar.

Ss: How does that make any sense?

ME: There's clearly a pattern. We're both doing something that's... I don't know, it's like our puzzle is setting up a puzzle to be done later.

Ss: 0:05, by the way.

ME: Thanks for the encouragement.

Ss: Well, go ahead and try it if you want.

ME: I will.

And she did.

***

Waiting patiently beneath the gate which would take him to Luna's planet, Star Swirl looked out across his planet one last time before he left. Although Sburb had not turned out to be anything like he had expected, he was - as it happened - very good at it. Storming through his initial group of quests, he was comfortably strong enough to continue on to Luna's planet. Or strong enough to continue questing by himself, he noted. That was still an option, albeit a terrible one. The game would be more fun with more players. And besides, he was getting lonely.

Briefly, he considered finding his sprite to see if it had any parting words of advice, before deciding against it. Whatever that sceptre had been, regardless of how important it was, it had meant nothing but trouble. His sprite looked nothing like it, instead resembling a jumbled mess of seemingly random items. An eagle wing, a sharp tooth, a fluffy wig... what was all of that supposed to be? Whatever it was, the underlings had possessed the same physical traits, and they were very hard to kill. Star Swirl was a magician, not a mathematician, but he could still put two and two together. Clearly, what was prototyped changed the game in some way. And using the sceptre to do so had clearly been a terrible mistake. Not to mention that his sprite was prone to randomly attacking him in the middle of giving advice - and by advice, he meant vague riddles that didn't help at all. Finding the damn thing was not only difficult, but he would probably just end up having another epic duel with the thing. No, it was better to just sit and wait for Luna to enter.

Even so, he did wonder why Pinkie, a founder of Equestria, had considered it so very important to screw up his game. What possible purpose could this serve? He had a feeling that he was going to find out sooner or later, and that he wasn't going to like it when he did. It was probably one of those terrible reasons like all the stupid "it couldn't have happened any other way" rubbish that people in stories about time travel always came up with. Star Swirl was always annoyed by excuses like that. Doing something for no reason other than that you've already done it was stupid. Still, if he was going to trust anyone's judgement on such matters, it may as well be a founder's judgement.

***

As Luna's house faded away into a bright white light, Silver sighed wearily and closed down the game window. Luna's solution had clearly been correct, that was clear from the lights and fanfare that had begun as the jar had been sealed. It remained to be seen whether she had gotten through in time, however. Still, there wasn't a lot that Silver could do for Luna now. Now her main priority was making sure that she got through in time. And since her server was probably going to be drunk, that meant she should get started as soon as possible.

[suspiciousSeraphim (Ss) began pestering heliacalDreamer]

Ss: Hello again, Celestia.

HD: HEY SILVER!

HD: What's up?

Ss: Well, I just got Luna into the game.

Ss: At least, I assume I did. Everything went white just as the meteor was about to hit...

Ss: But in any case, it's my turn next. And, given what's at stake, I'd like to get it out of the way as quickly as possible.

Ss: So, are you ready?

HD: YEAH!

Ss: Great.

HD: Just remind me...

HD: WHAT GAME ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE?

Groaning and burying her head in her hooves, Silver silently prayed to any horror-terrors that happened to hold her in good favour. She had a feeling that this game was going to be a long and painful experience.

***

Even after slowly opening her eyes, Luna had to open and close them a few times before she was suitably convinced that they were open. Not because she couldn't believe what she was seeing, but because she literally couldn't see anything. Everything was thoroughly shrouded in darkness. A faint sigh nearby told her that her laptop was asleep, although she had no idea where it was. This was ridiculous. Star Swirl had gotten a cool planet. It had pillars and crocodiles and lots of awesome puzzles. But what did she get? The Land of Power Cuts and Midnight, from the way it looked. Presumably the quests would revolve around waking up at 2am and being unable to get back to sleep, a few panicked moments of repeatedly flicking the broken light switch on and off, followed by several minutes of painful stumbling through her house in attempt to find the fuse box. Luna couldn't wait to get started.

After a few confused and injury filled minutes of investigating her surroundings, Luna came to the conclusion that this really wasn't going to work. If she could find one of her windows, then she could try to fly out of her home. But that presented its own problems. It was probably a bad idea to try flying blind with only gravity to tell you where the ground was. Besides, if she flew away, how was she ever going to find her way back home again? No, the thing to do was-ARGH!

One rapid decline in altitude and several thoroughly offended deities later, Luna eventually picked herself up and tried to get her bearings. So now she was on the first floor, at the base of the staircase that she had just fallen down. That meant the other staircase was forwards and to her left, so she didn't want to go that way. Or did she? Was she trying to get outside? She didn't know, and it was hard to think about anything other than how much her legs were hurting after their collisions with the stairs. Turning around to face the staircase in question, Luna could almost see faces in the patterns the cloud had formed, smiling evilly at her as they reminded her about the things which often happened involving stairs, and how those things had a tendency to continue happening. Wait, why could she see the pattern in the dark? The answer, she immediately told herself, was that it wasn't totally dark like it had been previously. There was a light coming from somewhere behind her, which was - as far as she was aware - a new development. Turning back to face the room in search of the light source, Luna found it almost immediately.

"Hey Luna," Star Swirl said. "I figured I'd come over and see if you needed a hand."

"Swirly!" And sure enough, there he was, surrounded in a warm aura of yellow light, an undeniably smug look plastered across the unicorn's face. Abandoning any attempt to calmly greet her friend, Luna leapt across the room towards him with a wide grin on her face, before swinging her hoof into his head. Then she hugged him. Any objections and/or expletives that had been forthcoming were instantly cut short as Star Swirl froze, not daring to say or do anything. For a few seconds neither pony was moving, and only one of them was breathing. "That was for taking so long," Luna said, as she eventually released him and set about finding the way out of her home. Star Swirl followed, the light he was projecting guiding her through the building.

"What was, the punch or the hug?" Luna glanced back at him, tilting her head in mock confusion.

"I don't understand the question. Anyway, hold steady for a moment." After descending a short staircase - thankfully without her earlier attempt repeating itself - they were now by the front door of Luna's home. An array of locks and chains were firmly in place. Absently, Luna tried to remember why she had so many locks. It didn't make much sense to her now. As she prepared to get started, however, something occurred to her. "Wait a minute, if all the locks are still shut, how did you get in?" Star Swirl didn't need to answer. The moment Luna's hoof came in contact with the door, the entire structure tipped backwards as the door fell out into the pitch black planet beyond. A few moments of surveying her broken doorframe revealed that the door had been forcibly removed from its frame. The burn marks told her how that had probably been done. Stepping out of her house, she gave Star Swirl a dark look as he sheepishly followed her outside.

"Sorry about that. I-" he paused, as their surroundings suddenly changed. "Oh, wow."

The land before them was suddenly visible, and it was certainly not what either of them had expected. Luna's house had been transported to an enormous field of rock littered with crags and chasms and other formations. Huge spires of rock were also visible, as well as smaller needles sharpened into a very dangerous looking point. From their slight vantage point - a platform of cloud extended out from Luna's front door, on which they were currently standing - they could see that this maze of spires and needles continued in all directions for several miles, until vast mountains loomed up from the horizon. And, although this was all visible, they could now see why they had been in total darkness before; huge black clouds could be seen rolling across the ground, enveloping the rocks as they swirled around ceaselessly. Apparently one such cloud had covered Luna's home until that moment. And, of course, the terrain was exactly the worst kind of area to navigate in total darkness. One wrong step could mean disaster, between the endless ravines and the wickedly sharp spikes. Even now they were out in the open, the planet was only slightly brighter, as everything was bathed in a dim blue light. Above them they could see a thick barrier of clouds stubbornly refusing the light from Skaia - contrasting with Star Swirl's planet, where Skaia had been a particularly prominent part of the setting.

"Quite the planet you have here," Star Swirl commented. "I just wish it wasn't so freezing." As he said it, Luna noticed the temperature for the first time. She hadn't initially noticed anything strange, since it was always quite cold in Cloudsdale. But to be so cold at ground level...

"Great, just my luck. Freezing, periodic total darkness, and thousands of deadly spikes. My planet rules."

"It's not that bad," Star Swirl said. "I just wish I'd brought my cloak." Luna laughed.

"Yes you do, but not because it's cold. You just like looking like a wizard."

"I am a wizard," Star Swirl retorted. "If I'm not a wizard then how did I just walk up stairs made of clouds?" Luna shook her head, dismissing the fact that she hadn't even realised he shouldn't have been able to walk around in her house. Instead she reached down and gathered up a clump of cloud from the platform beneath them, and stuck it onto his face. It covered his mouth, but she could still make out a few muffled shouts.

"There, now you look like a proper wizard," Luna said, jumping over him and off of the platform of cloud, landing on the planet below. "Star Swirl the Bearded. That sounds wizardly enough, don't you think?" Shaking his head to disperse the cloud, Star Swirl followed her onto the planet's surface.

"One day, maybe. Just you wait," Star Swirl said, stopping as Luna suddenly approached him, staring intently at his chin. A few seconds later, she shrugged, and began walking into the maze of rock.

"Heh. Keep dreaming, Swirly."

After a moment's pause, Star Swirl followed her.

***

Silver wasn't sure exactly when it had happened, but somewhere along the line her short term goals had changed. Initially she had been working with Celestia to try and save herself from the rapidly approaching meteor. Now she found herself working with Celestia to try and save herself from Celestia's ill-advised modifications to Silver's home. Surviving the collapsing ceiling long enough to be killed by the meteor would be an achievement in and of itself.

Leaping forwards as the room behind her collapsed, Silver found herself falling into a pit which a few moments ago had been covered up by a floor. And, a few moments later, a floor covered it once again. Landing onto the surprisingly sturdy platform which Celestia had managed to deploy beneath her, Silver allowed herself to take a moment to rest. It was highly unlikely that the ceiling in this part of her house was going to collapse now, mainly because it had already done so. On the plus side, she had an excellent view of the meteor.

Ss: So, Celestia. What have we learned today?

HD: Uh.

Ss: We learned that a building has certain walls that it really needs to have.

Ss: I hope that you will remember this when you are building my house many miles into the sky.

Ss: Or even when you're building it up to its original height.

HD: OK I GET IT, CALM DOWN!

HD: Seriously, you worry too much!

Ss: My house is collapsing.

Ss: A meteor is about to give me an even worse headache than your terrible excuses.

Ss: Exactly what would you recommend I do instead of worrying?

Ss: Drinking.

HD: DRINKING!

Ss: ;)

HD: ... bah.

Ss: Look, do we have enough grist to move all those machines onto this platform?

HD: I THINK SO...

Ss: Then do that, and then just try to save as much of my home as you can.

HD: OK, sure.

***

"It's strange, isn't it?" Star Swirl said, as he and Luna entered another empty clearing. "No sign of any consorts, and only a handful of underlings now and then. It's like the whole planet is... empty."

"You can't say that until we've seen the whole planet," Luna pointed out, randomly choosing one of the exits from the clearing and striding towards it. "Unless you're assuming that the entire planet is exactly like this, with the same population density and the same terrain and climate. That would just be highly unrealistic."

"Well, you say that, but that's how it was on my planet," Star Swirl reminded her.

"Just how many corners did you cut when you were making this game?" Luna asked, turning around sharply and heading back into the clearing as she realised that the exit was a dead end.

"I keep telling you that I didn't make this game," Star Swirl said wearily, walking towards the one remaining exit that Luna hadn't chosen. "If I had, I probably wouldn't have included the giant meteor that kills you if you're not quick enough. And also the gate progression would probably make sense." He paused, and waited for Luna to realise that her second choice was also a dead end. "All I did was make it compatible with our computers."

"How does that even work? How are you supposed to do that without understanding what the game does?"

"With all due respect, Luna, even I find the explanation boring. You don't want to know." Star Swirl shook his head as he recalled the late nights and catastrophic failures that had been involved in his work. "Let's just say I had to go through a lot of coffee."

"I thought you didn't like coffee."

"I don't."

***

0:30

Completely not panicking, Silver inspected the tiny round blob of purple cruxite which the game had presented to her.

Ss: OK, let's see what we've got here. This is... uh.

Ss: What the hell is this supposed to be?

HD: IT'S A CRUXITE ARTIFACT!

Ss: You are just so helpful today.

Ss: What's with that?

HD: I'm sorry for trying to help.

HD: :P

Ss: You are not helpful. Ever.

HD: But what about that one time when-

Ss: Never. Helpful. You.

Ss: If you want to refute that claim, take it up with my house.

Ss: What's left of it, anyway.

HD: I ALREADY APOLOGISED FOR THAT!

Ss: Whatever. I need to figure out what this thing is.

"Any ideas?" Silver said, aiming the question at the rapidly flashing sphere which now looked kind of like a pair of dice. For obvious reasons the sphere said nothing, but instead it drifted down to the floor below. Seemingly excited by a particular portion of rubble, it bounced up and down and made annoying noises for several seconds. There wasn't, as far as Silver could see, anything particularly special about it.

Ss: Hey, can you see what's under that bit of the ceiling? The bit that my kernelsprite seems all excited about.

HD: Yes. BUT ONLY BECAUSE I AM SORRY ABOUT DESTROYING YOUR HOUSE.

Ss: Noted.

Almost immediately, she saw what the kernelsprite was trying to show her - one of her plants, smashed almost beyond recognition. Her plant was important somehow. Again, she inspected the small round artifact. Plants. Hm.

***

After Luna had given him the game, Golden hadn't been able to talk to any of the others. They had all been too busy. Whatever the game was about, it was apparently serious business. Even Silver...

This was fine, of course. It wasn't like there was any reason why Silver should have had a different reaction to the others. Of course.

Sometimes, Golden wondered just who he was fooling.

[heliacalDreamer began pestering eclecticSage]

HD: Hey Golden.

ES: HEY CELESTIA

HD: ARE YOU READY TO PLAY A GAME!?!?

ES: uh, sure

ES: just to clarify, this is the game luna gave me earlier, right?

HD: Yes it is, and now that I've gotten Silver in it's your turn to help me!

HD: :D

ES: then YEAH, let's do this

HD: I think you should know, this game is quite literally...

HD: A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH!

ES: ooh

ES: wait, SERIOUSLY

HD: Uhuh.

HD: WHICH MEANS...

HD: My life is literally in your hooves.

HD: CAN YOU HANDLE IT?!?

ES: i'll try

HD: Well, that's good enough.

ES: ^^

HD: LET'S DO THIS!!!!

Finally, it was his turn to see what all the fuss was about. Although, if it really was as serious as Celestia was implying, Golden supposed he could probably accept how preoccupied with it his friends had been.

***

"Yeah, if it's all the same to you... I'm going to stick with my theory that there are no consorts anywhere on the planet," Star Swirl said, as he inspected the group of iguana skeletons that the two ponies had stumbled across. "No living ones, anyway."

"Well, if you can say that all the consorts are dead, just because you found some dead consorts, then this game is officially stupid." Luna was annoyed, not least because her planet was terrible in every single way. It was also annoying that they had made almost no progress, mainly because a lot of time they had been moving very slowly due to the large dark clouds severely hindering their journey. Whenever a cloud was around them, she could do nothing but follow the glowing ball of light that was Star Swirl. Luna had no idea how she would have managed without him. That was something else which annoyed her. Surely sooner or later it would be her turn to be helping everyone?

"Hey, I don't know how much I can claim to know about the way the planets work in this game, because I don't know how well my planet can be used as a baseline. All I know is that my planet was pretty much the same everywhere I've gone so far." Magically picking up a few stone slabs which surrounded the dead consorts, he sent one towards Luna. "Have a look at that, it might have some information about what your quest is - since there's no one alive to explain it." Luna picked up the slab, and attempted to read the badly carved letters.

hey luna

uh

not sure what to say

youve got to use your powers to

idk

fix all the bad stuff i guess

but apparently you wont fix it in time and well be dead

so i have to write this down

cant write that well sorry

uh

something about nyx

shes important i think

i guess you could just fly around until you see something

because you can do that i think

i wish i could fly

it would be so much more fun than not flying

probably

you would know more about that than me

so anyway

have fun and stuff

from jim

"Nothing useful," Star Swirl said, putting the slab he was holding down. "I skipped most of it, but I think it was a shipfic from a fandom I don't recognise. What about yours?"

"It's a letter to me," Luna said slowly. "From a dead iguana called Jim."

"Huh." Star Swirl thought about that for a moment. "Cool. Did he have anything useful to say?"

"Not in the slightest."

***

Placing the totem onto the alchemiter, Celestia watched as a solid white ellipse was formed in the middle of the platform. Stepping towards it, she paused, surprised to see herself staring back from its surface.

HD: A mirror, eh?

ES: hm

ES: what do you have to do with that?

HD: OH, I WONDER.

Although the artifact was made of solid white cruxite, it was still somehow usable as a mirror - albeit one that reduced any reflected images to white separated by black outlines. It was a good thing that her artifact was so obvious, Celestia reflected. She only had a little over a minute left.

HD: So, before I can do that, I just need to quickly prototype the kernelsprite with something.

ES: i swear half of these words you're using aren't the proper terms

ES: you're just messing with me

HD: IF ONLY!

HD: Star Swirl has some imagination, I'll give him that.

ES: so... WHAT are you going to use?

That was a good question, Celestia thought, as she looked around her home. Anything would do, as long as it wasn't something that wouldn't do. Glancing around, and settling on the first thing which came into view, Celestia triumphantly held up a large fluffy feather. One expensive transformation sequence later, and the feather and kernelsprite had become one.

ES: heh, i guess that works

HD: :D

HD: Now, time to break this mirror.

ES: isn't that BAD LUCK or something?

At that moment, Celestia was distracted by her door being forced open. Turning quickly to face the intruders, she was relatively surprised to see members of the Canterlot Civil Protection standing in her doorway.

"Excuse me miss, but we need you to leave the building," one of them said in as calm a voice as he could manage. He was still rather shaken up by the huge-ass meteor flying towards his current position. "For your own safety."

HD: YOU'RE BAD LUCK.

ES: eep

HD: Well, I'll go take care of these guys. BRB!

ES: wait what

[heliacalDreamer ceased pestering eclecticSage]

***

The Land of Souls and Spirit was a strange place. The entire planet seemed to be designed like a cathedral. Cliffs and mountains were intricately designed structures, lined with gargoyles and stained glass windows and many other things which require research to properly name. It was a fascinating design for a planet, although the architecture seemed a little over the top when it was literally everywhere. On the plus side, there was no end of landmarks that Silver could use for navigation. Countless spires could be seen in the distance - because the entire planet looked like it had been built, the actual buildings needed to be noticeably larger and more impressive. It was towards one of these buildings that Silver was now making her way, currently walking down a long stretch of ground flanked on either side by trees. Or at least, that's what it would have been anywhere else. On LOsAS, it translated into a series of arches arranged in a long corridor. It was difficult to see exactly where there was tree and where there was stonework, with the building seemingly emerging from within the tree.

Whatever the deal with this planet was, Silver doubted it would stand up under closer inspection. So, for the time being at least, she decided to not question the planet too much. Instead, she continued her journey across the planet. It was a nice day, and the temperature wasn't too stupidly high or low. And yet, she couldn't shake the feeling that somewhere, somehow, she was being watched...

***

"You can't be serious," Celestia said, as she reluctantly allowed the guards to drag her out of her home. "Why is this happening?"

"Now settle down there," Pony Joe assured her, as he helped her to her feet. "Everything's under control. You're safe now."

"Joe, you're a nice guy, and I appreciate the help, but you don't have any idea what you're talking about," Celestia said absently, as she and Joe were pushed away from her home with the rest of the gathered crowd. Apparently incoming meteors were something of a spectacle, especially after everyone had been woken up by the rock which had hit Star Swirl's house. "I need to get back in there!" Joe shook his head firmly.

"Sorry Celestia, but that isn't an option. That thing is moments away from hitting-"

"It's exactly 46 seconds away," Celestia stated, weighing up her options. She could probably make it to her front door before the guards noticed, but if they caught up to her then that would be that. If she was going to make a move, it had to be now while she was still close enough to make it. And Joe was a rogue element; she couldn't count on him not trying to be a hero and stop her from leaving. "I just need to get one thing, that's all."

"I can't let you do that. Nothing is worth the risk," Joe replied flatly, and at that point Celestia knew that he wasn't going to change his position. Or at least, not in the time she had left. "You know that I care about you too much." That did it, Celestia decided. If he was going to bring out the emotional attachment card, then that was the end of the discussion.

"Joe, please don't take this personally," she said, as she kicked him hard in the face, causing the unicorn to stumble backwards. "You're just too nice for your own good." Leaping over the fence, and quickly weaving around the guards, Celestia sprinted back towards her house. She considered locking the door, but the angry shouts behind her gave the impression that doing so wouldn't help. She had to finish this, now.

Rushing towards her computer, she grabbed hold of the white cruxite mirror. A black and white image of herself and the room behind her was reflected out of its surface, including the door which was flung open to reveal several guards and a rather frustrated Pony Joe.

0:12

"Celestia," Joe said, taking a step backwards. "Come on, let's go." Celestia paused, as if thinking about it. Then she shrugged.

"I'd argue, but then you wouldn't have time to get away," Celestia said, considering the mirror in her hooves. "I'll see you around, Joe."

"Wai-" Any last words were interrupted as Celestia tossed the mirror downwards, shattering it into a thousand pieces. And, with that, Celestia and her entire house was transportalised to another dimension entirely. A few more seconds of staring in shock later, Joe came to his senses, as he and the guards turned and sprinted away from where her home had until recently been located. Several seconds later, the entire area was engulfed in flame.

Comments

[Alphaetus_Prime]

Oh FFS Celestia has Gamzee's tic

[pressea]

Celestia, best pony.

[Isshiki Kotonashi]

689980 You only just noticed

[Alphaetus_Prime]

691774 Yes >_<

[Fallen Prime]

I don't really have any more analysis work this week. I'm just sitting back and enjoying the show for now.

[eeveeextreme]

This is my prediction:

Luna=Luna (duh!)

Celestia=Celestia (of course)

Swirly(because of kernalsprite) or Golden (because of his love of riddles and puzzles) = Discord

Silver = Chrysalis

[DiscordDraconequus]

1575098 Don't forget Golden's cutie mark. The apple of Discord? Ring any bells?